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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 102 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Garland Jeweled Pump

Coffee Break

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Cole Haan Garland Jeweled Pump | CorporetteI was perusing Cole Haan's offerings on Zappos recently and noticed that they seem to have refreshed a lot of their shoe styles. Their Air Talia (beloved by readers in the past) seems to be totally gone (except for a single style at 6pm.com in lucky sizes, and on eBay). Still, this purple suede shoe is calling my name — I love the simple, classic shape. It's $168 at Zappos. Cole Haan Garland Jeweled Pump Dec. 2015 Update — This shoe is no longer available at Zappos but you can now find it at Amazon. (L-4)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. location, location, location

    To what extent do you embody stereotypes about your location? Example: you live in NYC, therefore you must wear all black, be rude, and always be in a hurry.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Interesting question. I’m in nyc and sometimes feel out of place in the winter because I don’t wear all black. I actually wore a bright pink skirt last week because it made me happy but I felt like I looked a little odd.

      I do walk quickly. I notice it the most when I’m outside of nyc.

      I’ve carried over the style of my hometown though in that I’m typically very polite.

      • ITDS

        I was in London late last year, and noticed that people there really do walk very fast!

      • Ellen

        In New York, we simpley can NOT walk to fast –for at least 2 reason’s:
        1) the sidewalk is crowded and
        2) there is a lot of POOPIE on the sidewalk that MUST be avoided or you have to buy NEW shoes! FOOEY on POOPIE!

        Mabye in London you can walk fast, but I think there MUST not be poopie downtown, or else people can’t smell the poopie after they have stepped in it. Here I worry about poopie every day b/c I have lost many pairs of shoes and boot’s to poopie, and dad does NOT like that, so he makes me step carfully. I even got banned from Bloomie’s for walking in with poopie on my shoe’s to the carpeting department. FOOEY!

        The manageing partner and I met a new prospective client today. He was VERY impressed with my pitch and he said we should meet this week for drink’s. I told the manageing partner and he will come with me b/c he does NOT want for the client to make the move’s on me. Thank GOD the manageing partner has scrupule’s. Myrna’s firm often throw’s her to the wind with client’s in order to seal the deal, but she does NOT do anything more then drink with them, even tho they OFTEN ask her back to their hotel’s, and they are NOT interested in doeing anything other then having sex with her. FOOEY on men that just want to take us back to their hotels for sex. Who wants a smelley sweatey client all over them with no clotheing on? What happens if they get a heart attach and you are there? I think there is a liability issue for the firm b/c this is NOT recompensible for on the job injury. What does the HIVE think? Shouldn’t there be limit’s on what we are asked to do? I say YES! YAY!!!!

    • Anon

      I don’t find New Yorkers to be rude. Frank, yes, but not rude.

      But I’m NJ, where we flip tables, so what do I know?

      • 2 Cents

        Haha, and wear too much hairspray too, right? :)

        I live on Long Island now, but when I lived in NYC, my wardrobe definitely included more black than ever before. I’d agree with the “frank” instead of “rude” assessment. And the walking fast = yes. My old job was near Macy’s, so I was always dodging people looking at random buildings (not the famous ones!!) and stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

      • Portland, Oregon

        I agree based on one visit to NYC. People were brisk and talked too fast, but I found them to be genuinely very helpful to this obvious tourist.

        They don’t walk nearly as fast as Londoners, though. Whoa, nelly!

    • Idea

      I’m in the South, am personally conservative but in a large city so I’m socially liberal. I’m also really friendly, and like to say y’all, and like some country music, and some hip-hop. I also like grits.

      • Anon

        I am not trying to start any type of argument or to challenge your beliefs, but what does it mean to be “personally conservative but socially liberal”?

        • LilyS

          Not Idea, but: I have (mainly religious) friends who describe themselves as ‘personally conservative but socially liberal’ – for most of them it means that although they wouldn’t personally have an abortion they don’t want to prevent anyone else from being able to, or that although they only get into a relationship if they think it will lead to marriage they don’t think it’s wrong for other people to do things more casually.

        • sweetknee

          I am not “Idea”, but live in the South and would describe myself similarly. While I probably would not, for example, have an abortion, I support the rights of others to do so. I personally have never done drugs, and don’t intend to, but am not opposed to medical marijuana and some decriminalizing of small amounts of marijuana, etc.

          My generally conservative faith frowns on homosexual marriage, but I personally believe that marriage is also a state/secular legal issue, and that a same sex couple should not be denied a marriage license by the state on the basis of a religious objection.

          These are just examples, but may help explain the short hand term. Oh, and I love grits too.

        • Anon

          In my experience, it means Republicans who support gay marriage and abortion. They usually are not as amenable to other socially liberal programs like welfare, food stamps, accessible healthcare, etc.

      • Brit

        In my experience, it means Republicans who support gay marriage and abortion. They usually are not as amenable to other socially liberal programs like welfare, food stamps, accessible healthcare, etc.

      • JJ

        Serious question: how? Do you wear them with pants suits? I love my boots (and they’re fairly dressy) but can’t fathom a way to make them work with suits. When I was practicing all over Texas in state court, I would have loved to have worn my boots to court.

        • ORD

          Not cowgirl boots, but I wear Frye Carson Shortie boots with pants suits as long as the pants are wide enough. It works for me on those days when I have to do a lot of walking and can’t carry around extra shoes.

    • anon

      NYC, and I walk and talk really fast (and hate when other ppl are slow!) bur I think that’s it

    • Seattle Freeze

      Let’s see – I don’t drive a Subaru, don’t drink Starbucks, don’t work in the tech industry, don’t eat seafood, and only have one North Face garment. I also jaywalk when it suits me and won’t wait for the walk signal if there are no cars coming.

      On the other hand, I don’t use an umbrella much, and I can distinguish more than 10 types of rain.

    • LA

      I’m in LA and go to yoga/pilates/outdoor bootcamps almost every day of the week. I don’t eat processed foods, and do most of my grocery shopping at Whole Foods. I love to be outside and at the beach. I have a small dog. I drive everywhere. I wear sunglasses everywhere I go.

      On the flip side, I don’t have any connection to the entertainment industry and I haven’t had any plastic surgery. :-)

      • Senior Attorney

        LOL I’m in LA, too, and similar. I do bootcamp almost every day, shop mostly at Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, drive everywhere, sunglasses every outdoor minute, wear bare legs year round. And blond hair, of course.

        No little dog, not much of a nature lover, but I have had a nip or tuck here and there. ;)

        Oh, and a biggie I just thought of: I’m obsessed with real estate and housing prices.

    • Anonymous

      I live in Northern California and I like yoga, organic food, green smoothies/juice, and hiking/being outside.

    • North Carolina

      I’m a Southern Baptist sweet-tea guzzler who wouldn’t dare wear black to a wedding. I wear my pearl earrings WITH my pearl necklace and can easily tell the difference between different regional accents (NC tidewater accents are a whole ‘nother animal from, say, the Charleston accent). I also married at 21.

      On the other hand, “Bless your heart” is not part of my vocabulary and monograms do not have a place in my home. I’m not sure I even own a bottle of hairspray.

    • Portland, Oregon

      LOL, I have a dog and backyard chickens. I’m particular about my food, particularly dairy and meat source and diet. I have grown and/or harvested my own produce, and then canned it. I wear flannel at least once a week and jeans nearly every day, including to the office. (My husband is a successful client- and public- facing professional and has never owned a suit). I don’t routinely use public transit anymore, but I used to and currently bike commute. I knitted before it was cool and we do a lot of DIY, including remodeling our historic bungalow. I happily compost, recycle, and carefully divide my waste into the smallest waste containers in existence only once every two weeks. I can discuss beer like wine, and my young children order ‘the red’ or ‘the white’ juice at restaurants. I complain about the weather when it is snowing or too sunny. I’ll stand in the rain waiting for the crosswalk to change.

      However, I do not own a prius or a Subaru, and have never been to burning man. My wedding did not involve a single mason jar (although the flowers were locally sourced and diy arranged, and we registered only at locally-own, independent stores).

        • Portland, Oregon

          “like”

          I’ve lived in PNW my entire life (raised in a small community of equal parts loggers and true hippies), so I had no idea so much of this was unique until the show Portlandia started. I couldn’t recognized most of the jokes, lol.

          • Sydney Bristow

            I grew up in the PNW and moved to NYC 5 years ago. I love it here but really miss it there too.

            As Anon for this says below, I don’t like it when it gets above 85 (or even lower here with the humidity), hate the snow (unless I want to go skiing), and hate humidity when it doesn’t come in the form of rain.

      • Anon for this

        Also a Portlandian, somewhat different. I also live in a historic bungalow, compost and recycle, and stand in the rain waiting for the crosswalk to change. I don’t like it when the temperature gets above 85 degrees in the summer, and I get stressed out when there’s a dusting of snow on the ground. I drive a volvo, not a prius or subaru, but close enough. I love food and wine, and brown liquor.

        I do, however, wear full suits every day to work. I also plan to vaccinate my children, want fluoridated water, am generally anti-marijuana (although I don’t really care that much, to be honest), and can’t stand kombucha.

    • KittyKat

      Canadian: I looooove maple syrup (and use it a lot), I am very liberal and thus into our free health care and generally secular politics, I am pretty tolerant of the cold today I thought it was “nice” out and it was -8C/17F, I love poutine, and I consider myself polite sometimes too much so, I always can tell a tourist on parliament when they scream at me. On the flip side, not a huge fan of Tim Horton’s coffee and I find hockey boring.

      • SuziStockbroker

        Ditto for me on all of this except the poutine. Beavertails, though, now you are talking.

        • Anonymous Canadienne

          Did you know Superstore sells maple syrup for $12.99 a litre? Has completely saved my grocery budget. My kids won’t eat the “fake” maple syrup anywhere.

          I will add to the list: I drink Red Rose tea, own proper snow tires – put them on in October and take them off in April, obsessively watch the Weather Network, use pencil crayons instead of coloured pencils, have a large collection of toques and actually wear them daily, become obsessed with obscure sports when its Olympics time, I say “zed” instead of “zee”, and I DO say “sorry” ALL the time, genuinely meaning it.

          On the other hand, my French is barely passable, I have never actually eaten poutine and I adore Americans, although not their beer so much… (I have heard the opposite is an unfortunate sterotype).

          • Anonymous

            Poutine is worth every gravy and cheese laden calorie. Get on it Canadienne.

          • KittyKat

            Thank you for telling me that, Costco has been my source for maple syrup prior. Agree we have better beer than the US. My French is also pretty bad but definitely functional! I love when you bump into someone and you both say sorry, I can’t help but smile at how Canadian those moments are.

          • Anonymous Canadienne

            Anonymous at 8:49 – I make up for my lack of poutine eating by regular donair consumption. I don’t think my heart could take both in one lifetime. I’ll take it under advisement though. Maybe I can just run more…

      • Anon

        NJ here, we love poutine too but we call it disco fries. And we love hockey in Jersey, so maybe we’re really just displaced Canadians?

        • Anonymous Canadienne

          “Disco Fries” lol. Plus I think many posters on this blog are spiritually Canadian.

    • roses

      I live in DC. I am not from DC. I have strong political opinions, which I frequently bring up in casual conversation. I dress conservatively but not poorly.

      However, I don’t work in politics (though, admittedly, most of my friends do), and I plan on staying in DC (unlike a ton of the transients that move through here).

      • DCite

        Same here. I don’t think I embody the DC stereotype until I go to visit the Midwest and realize how impatient I am.

    • pearls

      Ha ha……I live in Marin County, CA – I really drive a BMW and eat all organic, but I don’t have a hot tub!

    • Utah

      I fit a handful of the characteristics you would expect for someone living in my state (got married at 20, don’t drink beer, like baking) but as an anti-car, politically liberal, non-mormon, childless, dog-owning woman with a career I’m pretty far afield from the stereotype. However, I do match the profile of my specific Salt Lake City neighborhood, which has a reputation for attracting all the hippies/hipsters/heathens.

      • Brit

        Oh man – do you love to go “dahntown?”

        I’m not ashamed to admit that I only own one piece of Steelers gear and one piece of Pirates gear – I’m a Pens girl all the way.

        I hate the word “yinz.” There isn’t a bottle of Heinz in my fridge. I don’t like coleslaw on my Primanti’s sandwiches, but I do love the fries. I have been up the inclines a few time – I even met Pittsburgh Dad one day! It’s soda to me, not pop and I call them rubber bands, not gum bands.

        But I absolutely love the view coming out of Fort Pitt tunnel or that first hint of the city when you come around the Parkway East from the Squirrel Hill tunnel.

      • Anon99

        Also Pittsburgh. I don’t own a stitch of Pens or Steelers gear (and don’t even watch games), am vegetarian (so no Primanti’s), and drive a Mercedes.

        But I live in Shadyside, so…. yeah.

      • Latina

        NJ here too.. all apply here. One thing I notice is my friends/family (from NYC/NJ) and I curse a lot more than “outsiders”. When around my family and friends from CT they noticably flinch at every fbomb I drop.

    • Central Texas

      I currently live in Central Texas, and I love to wear bright colors, plenty of pearls, and my share of turquoise. I am about as Liberal as a Texan can be, but we don’t talk about that in polite conversation. ;) I am also a barbecue snob.

  2. reapply?

    Yesterday I saw an ad for a position that seems in line with my qualifications. However, the position is at an organization (higher ed) I recently applied to in the recent past, and the person I would be reporting to is the same person I spoke to for the previous position which I didn’t get–(I never heard back from them and it’s been months …. )I want to re-apply for this new posting but somehow I also wonder if I might seem desperate since I didn’t make it the first time, and also I’m obviously still looking…I know this may sound a little silly but still how best to handle this?

    • Wildkitten

      Apply and also email your application to the person since you’ve already met them.

    • Meg Murry

      Is it similar to the previous posting? Since its reporting to the same person, maybe they never hired anyone for that position and this is a revised posting that encompasses some of the other job description plus some new ones. Or a second, very similar position came up because an internal candidate was moved into the first position

      When you say “same person you spoke to” – did you get an interview? Do you still have their contact info? I’d try contacting that person first and expressing your interest, and if you don’t get a reply, re-apply. If you have all the application materials already, it shouldn’t be too hard to tweak and re-apply, and you might get to skip the first round if they liked you before.

      • reapply?

        When I said “same person I spoke to” I meant that I called and we spoke on the phone to get a better idea of the project (both positions are grant funded research positions). Sometimes there is a formal interview sometimes there isn’t. In this case I don’t know because I never heard from them which is not uncommon. Sometimes someone is hired and they don’t bother to let the other applicants know that the position was filled. Thanks for the input!

        • Must be Tuesday

          Given that info, I would just reapply for the new position, and maybe send an email to the person you spoke to reiterating your interest in working for their organization in a capacity similar to the advertised position.

        • Also in Academia

          I am in higher ed, and I am so busy that chances are, if I were the hiring manager, I would not remember that you were in the pool before (unless you were this one spectacularly memorable-in-a-bad-way candidate) . . . In my experience we only start to notice if someone applies over and over again for things for which they are completely unqualified.

        • NOLA

          I think two different grant projects are fine to apply to. I’ve had people who were so desperate to work in my organization that they applied to every position we had open. We got tired of seeing their applications and would read them hoping that they had made a good case for *this* position rather than just working in this organization. And yeah, we did remember them. But these were faculty searches.

    • Anon

      I’m in higher ed – apply. Maybe there was a candidate that was just a slightly better fit the last time around. Just because you didn’t get the job doesn’t mean you were not a good candidate for it!

  3. Not a morning person

    Sorry for the immediate TJ, but I need some tips, wise Hive! I just started in BigLaw this fall and on the whole, things are going fairly well. However, I’m having a major (to me) issue that I feel I should nip in the bud.

    I’ve never been a morning person, but it’s gotten so much worse between the combination of (1) late evening hours, and (2) people not caring what time I arrive. I suspect point (2) is not actually true; I think it’s one of those things where my practice group _says_ they don’t care when I’m in my office, but everyone surreptitiously notices others’ schedules, and I don’t want to be thought of as a slacker even if my hours and work are solid. FWIW, plenty of others arrive mid-morning and no ones really seems to say anything about it, but I still feel like I need to be showing a lot of initiative at this stage.

    Despite my best intentions (and genuine desire!) to be an early bird, I am in such a fog in the mornings that I often don’t even hear my alarm, and by the time I get going and get through my commute, I’m arriving way later than I’d like. I’m very responsive to emails at all hours, and sometimes bill an hour or so before I leave in the morning, depending on whether someone needs me online at that time, delaying my commute. But I would really like to get myself in a better routine and be in the office, functioning, by 9 at the latest.

    Additional background — I’ve always been a heavy sleeper, I fall asleep immediately, and sometimes barely roll over in the middle of the night. I always set two alarms, in the hope that I will hopefully hear one (usually after it’s been going off for 20 minutes). My bedroom gets so, so much morning sun. It’s not even close to dark in there. This problem is not new, but it’s certainly worse when I get less sleep. I don’t even feel that tired; I feel busy and productive! It just feels like this is out of my control, like I’m not in my right mind as I’m coming out of sleep-mode — anyone know what I mean?

    Help! TIA!

    • LilyS

      This could be too simplistic a suggestion, but have you tried going to bed earlier? Like, ridiculously early? Sometimes I get into a rhythm of too many slightly late nights, and then they get later and later and midnight is a standard sleep time. I then go for 9-10pm for a couple of weeks (where possible) and it helps me reset.

      • Bewitched

        Yes, hard to advise when it’s not clear how much sleep you are getting. If you are going to bed at 2am and expect to get up at 6am, that’s probably not going to happen unless you are one of those rare birds who only needs 4 hours of sleep. If you are going to bed at midnight and can’t wake up by 8am, I would try Lily’s suggestion. I would also suggest you consider a sleep study. Some people who are “deep sleepers” actually wake up frequently with sleep apnea or the like, and that is why they are always tired. They are actually not getting enough rest.

        • Not a morning person

          Good point. I’d say it’s in between — asleep by 12:30 and having a hard time waking up at 7. That’s not really a markedly different schedule than I’ve ever had, it’s just that it always came with the external motivation of class starting at a certain time, or working for someone who took punctuality very seriously. It’s not like I haven’t made it work before, but I guess I didn’t realize how heavily I’ve relied on those external factors. .

          • First Year Anon

            I don’t have a hard time waking up like you do, but that sleep schedule would make me tired. I think you just need more sleep to start with! I need a full 8 hours (so asleep by 11 to wake at 7) to feel good every day of the week.

          • Anonymous

            Umm go to bed! No later than 11. You’re just not getting enough sleep.

          • LilyS

            Go to sleep earlier! I now have a rule that nothing good happens after 11pm to try to encourage me to be off the internet by then (which is difficult as I’m an hour ahead of most of my friends and family, which was contributing to the late nights).

        • ace

          Here’s the thing, though: As a first year, you have to assume that SOMEONE who works with you “[takes] punctuality very seriously.” There’s also a “do as I say, not as I do” issue that many people will think the first year should be ready, willing, and able to take on work at 9 a.m. even if more senior people have the option of coming in later.

          I would use that thought to get out of bed and into the office at a reasonable hour for at least the first 1-1.5 years. After that, you’ll have more of a basis to determine whether you really can come in when you want to.

          • DCR

            If you want to be in at 9am, I would take this approach. But without knowing when you are actually getting in, it may not be a problem. for exmaple, 9:30 isn’t generally an issue.

            However, in my expereience, people come in later and later the longer they have been in biglaw (unless they have kids). The person who comes in at 8:30 as a first year, comes in at 9 as a second year, 9:30 as a third year, and 10 as a fourth year. Maybe that thought will help you get in earlier now.

      • me too

        I would second this. I’m not a morning person either (to the point where I will eat milk that has curdled and not realize it because I have what my friends call “sleep inertia” – the body is awake, but the mind stays asleep). I put myself on a religious schedule. I mean STRICT. I sleep at 10 and wake up at 6 am – even on weekends. I killed me in the beginning, and it was hard on my social life, but ultimately it paid off. Now that I am in a good place with it, I do go out on weekends (not every weekend, but still enough for my social life to not suffer). But I always now go back to my regular sleep pattern and it helped immensely. Hope things get better!

    • Anonymous

      In NYC you just don’t need to be in at 9 in most groups. Why are you setting yourself up to fail on this goal? Be there by 10.

    • Anon

      I’m a similarly heavy sleeper, and found the SleepBot app to help with waking up in the morning. Basically, you place your phone on your bed and it measures how deep your sleep is, based on how much you’re moving. You set an alarm (say for 7:30) and it will wake you up in the half hour period (in this case 7-7:30) in which your sleep cycle is the “lightest.” It took a few weeks for me to get used to the app, but I’m found it really helps me 1) hear my alarm and 2) get through that “morning fog” that keeps me from getting up.

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      Have you tried:

      * cutting out all caffeine, all 7 days of the week, at any time
      * going to bed early (and getting up early) all 7 days of the week (as LilyS says above)?

      • Not a morning person

        Thanks, all, for your input. Have not tried going to bed earlier because I’m usually working late into the evenings — and even with the pressure of a deadline, I can’t seem to talk my morning-self into waking up. That’s the “out of my control” feeling I’m talking about. Maybe I’ll try a hard reset by doing something entirely ridiculous like having my mother call me every morning until I wake up. I can’t believe I just suggested that. This is how dire this is, people! Maybe I’ll start small with SleepBot.

        And, I’m curious — what would cutting out caffeine do? I never have any trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Is there something else I’m not thinking of?

        Maybe I’ll consider a sleep study. My dad has sleep apnea and I have sinus issues, so I guess it’s a possibility. But I’m only 30. And single — I don’t even want to think about my dating life if I have to wear a nose mask. EVEN MORE DIRE!

        • A Nonny Moose

          I’d try cutting alcohol as well as caffeine. Both can affect sleep quality even if you don’t realize it.

        • anon

          You probably are just really tired and needing the sleep. I’ve always heard you should not be able to fall asleep immediately because that signals sleep deprivation.

          • Meg Murry

            Yes – if left to your own devices with no alarm set, like on a free Sunday, how late would you sleep? If you are catching up on sleep on Sundays (or used to in college and now can’t) you may be really sleep deprived and its catching up to you . Do you stay up even later on weekend nights?
            I used to keep hours like you describe in college, but looking back I realize that I was able to make it up by sometimes sleeping the entire day away some Sundays, which is something I can’t do anymore as an adult with kids and a job, so I have to watch to make sure I’m getting at least close to enough sleep each night.

            But I am also like you in that I need an “OMG I’m going to be in trouble for being late” external factor. Could you try a penalty system for yourself, like putting money in a jar every day you don’t make it to the office by 9? Or like others have suggested, scheduling a 9:00 activity that you have to be at the office for?

            Last, fr the alarm issue – have you tried an alternate alarm, like one of the wrist straps that vibrate? When I needed to get up early without waking anyone else in my family, I made my own with an armband meant for an mp3 player and an ancient flip phone that vibrates like crazy – not high tech, but it got the job done.

        • nutella

          As a sleep study grad, I suggest you try other routes before the sleep study. Mind revealed nothing new, insurance might not cover it, and it’s not a fun experience (imagine sleeping in a crummy hotel with wires and glue all over your body and in your hair, cameras on you, etc.). I found a sleep diary for 30 days to be much more illuminating. You track time you went to bed, time you woke up (including both days with alarm and no alarm), times you woke up (I didn’t realize I was waking up in the night until I thought about it and wrote it down the second I got up in the morning), rating of sleep, etc. This is of course while trying to implement healthy sleep habits.

          That’s just a general sleep health tip, though. I set multiple alarms, too, but am adept at hitting snooze! Do you put any alarms across the room? What about scheduling something concrete (like a morning workout class) or imagined (like “I will have my coffee and begin billing at my desk by 9:15) so that your mental alarm clock is on board?

          • Not a morning person

            I really can’t thank y’all enough; this is so helpful. Talking this out has also helped me realize that I stay up later than I need to because I’m trying to combat the resentment that will creep in from working so late. I want to be awake and enjoying my limited free time, not sleeping it away! But clearly that’s not having great effects, so maybe I will also adjust my definition of free time to include 30 minutes in the morning if I can manage to get up on time. It will feel weird to watch The Daily Show at 7:15, but hey, why not?

            Plan of action:
            –move second alarm clock into bathroom
            –use SleepBot
            –keep a sleep diary
            –be in bed no later than 11

            I should try to seek out a morning jogging partner (other than my dog who, incidentally, is zero help waking me up — what gives?) because I think you guys who latched onto the external motivation thing are right. I would really like to go the pay-in-advance classes route, but it’s just really not in the budget right now. Maybe I will devote a portion of my tax refund to this project and see if a month of morning classes makes a difference.

            Thanks again!

        • Baconpancakes

          Another vote for SleepBot. If you have an Android, Sleep As Android is even better, as it has a “go to bed” alarm that auto sets to tell you when to go to bed, but unfortunately is not offered for iPhone. Additionally, planning morning meetings with friends is a great way for me to force myself to get out of a late morning routine. If you do decide to go the Mom routine, maybe have her only call to wake you up if you don’t text her by 7:30am – so you have the motivation of avoiding embarrassment.

    • Diana Barry

      It might also be worth it to do a sleep study – anecdotally they have worked well for people I know and have also discovered undiagnosed sleep apnea, etc., for example.

    • Idea

      Ask around. IIRC, 9 am was still early for most associates when I worked at a Big Law Firm. 10 am was considered late.

    • Anne

      How about, as a trial, one-two mornings a week, you don’t check emails at home in the morning, but head straight for the office when you would originally be checking emails in the morning? (or checking the news, or…)

      At least then you would arrive slightly earlier at the office those days.

      Of course, it depends on how many of the emails you typically get early in the morning that require an immediate reply/action, and how much can normally wait the length of your commute.

    • SF in House

      You could have children — they kill the ability to sleep in! ;)

      Kidding aside, since external factors help you, how about signing up for a morning exercise class/personal training sessions? How about committing to commuting with someone?

      • Anon

        +1 to the exercise class. It sounds to me like your issue is less a lack of sleep and more a lack of motivation to get to the office early. Saying, “I should get there early because it’s good for my career!” is too vague for you. I have a similar issue, and I have (mostly) resolved it by scheduling my workouts for the morning. The best is when I take a class that is near my office that I can’t cancel without a huge fee. For example, I found a hot yoga class that starts at 6:15 and is located about 15 minutes from my office. I can wake up at 5:30 (early, I know, but not terrible if I’m in bed by 10:00), finish the class by 7:15, shower/get ready at the studio for 15-20 minutes, and arrive at work by 7:45/8. It feels so amazing when you get to work a bit early and can get things done before the daily barrage of emails and calls starts in earnest!

      • Anon

        +1. Morning exercise classes. I’m also a BigLaw associate, also not a morning person, and I have trouble going to bed at a reasonable hour, especially when I’m home after a long day. So if I get home at midnight, instead of responsibly going to bed I’ll stay up until 1 or 2… and have no chance of getting up in time to get to work at 9, especially because it’s perfectly acceptable at my office to roll in any time before 10:30. I totally understand how hard it is to adjust to not having a set start time!

        What works for me is scheduling early morning gym classes. It gets me out of bed, and has gotten me tired enough at night that I do actually go to bed earlier. It does mean that sometimes if I have to work super late or I’m unsuccessful in getting to bed I’ll sleep from 2-6 a.m. (UGH), but it’s the only thing that really works. Ironically I end up getting to work much earlier on the days that I go to the gym! I skipped the gym this morning because I went out to dinner/drinks with a friend last night, and ended up arriving at 10:30; yesterday I took a 7:45 class and was here by 9:30. Also, my “not a morning person” personality makes me super grumpy for the first hour or two after I wake up, so it’s good professionally to get that out of the way at the gym, where I don’t really have to interact with anyone, and be my usual friendlier self by the time I’m at the office. BONUS: You’ll feel healthier/get in better shape/etc.

        If you’re not a gym person or consistently work late enough that you can’t swing a whole class at the gym, try scheduling meetings or phone calls at 9 a.m. whenever you can.

    • Anon

      It sounds like you might need to get more sleep or look into any medical issues, but aside from that it also sounds like in the past you have been able to get to places on time (the mention of an “external factor as motivation.”) If it were me, I would sign up for an exercise class or something at like 7 am, especially something pre-paid, so I would be losing money if I missed it but it would get me out the door on time. Or I would reward myself for getting to work early (could be something simple and daily–fancy coffee, favorite lunch out, or something bigger for a week’s worth or whatever.) Maybe you just need different motivation.

    • SC

      I know this isn’t what you’re asking, but unless you have a specific reason not to, trust what you’re practice group is saying — they may care more that you’re working late hours, or lots of hours, or meeting deadlines than that you are actually in a chair in a specific location at 9 am every morning. Yes, everyone may be taking note of others’ schedules, but hopefully that means they are also noticing that you’re working late and responding to emails at all hours. If you’re really worried, ask some mid-level associates who get into the office mid-morning if anyone has ever said anything to them, or if there are particular partners who care when you arrive.

      But, if you really want to get to work earlier, and what works for you to get up is to apply some external pressure, then schedule things for the mornings — meet a friend for coffee once a week, take a morning exercise class near the office, schedule a meeting in the office for 9 am.

      I also am a night-owl and have trouble getting through the morning fog. Seriously, if I’m getting ready to go out on Saturday night, I can shower, get dressed, dry my hair, and do my makeup in 45 minutes. In the mornings before work, I can take an hour and a half to get ready and not even get around to makeup before I decide I have to go, and I have NO idea what I did in that time. Things that have helped me are (1) getting all my laundry done and clothes ironed/steamed on Sunday night so I can just reach into my closet in the mornings, (2) making sure my stuff is together and my bag is packed every night before I go to bed, and (3) putting my phone in my bag the second I get up so I can’t check the news/facebook/etc while I get ready — if someone needs to reach me while I’m getting ready, too bad (nobody has ever sent me an email at 7 am that couldn’t be handled when I got to the office at 8:30 am, but YMMV).

    • dotty

      In Sydney no one ever gets in after 830am at the absolute latest. Most lawyers are at their desks by 730am- even the most senior partners, making it incredibly hard for those of us with kids to get off to school . And most are still at the office late too. Your morning hours sound sensibly flexible!!

  4. feeling pathetic 2

    There was a post in the morning thread–“Feeling pathetic”, the lady feeling bad after she heard her ex proposed to the girl he started dating after her. Been feeling kinda the same, there’s no engagement (as far as I know) but still I’ve been feeling very sad. However this was someone I was with for a long time and we were good friends before we started dating and even after we broke up. However he did treat me rather shabbily towards the end of the relationship, which is why we broke up. I did not feel appreciated. Still I feel really sad and it doesn’t help that other areas of my life have also not been going well for a while.

    • Wildkitten

      This sounds like depression to me. Have you talked to a professional? Even your primary care physician should be able to screen you.

    • Anon

      I feel this way too sometimes. Even though I am generally happy and even in a good relationship now, I am the only one from my high school friends who isn’t married. I am one of 4 friends from college who isn’t married and they are all men. Sometimes it’s just like what’s so wrong with me? It isn’t something I think about on a daily or even weekly basis. But when it creeps in or is triggered by stuff (like yours was with the other post) it feels so bad. No advice, just commiserating you aren’t alone.

    • Hugs to you

      I hear you. My ex-bf left me in a particularly nasty and calculated fashion…now he is happily cavorting with his new GF and seemingly dancing on my grave by doing things with her that I treasured. It has been 3 years since we broke up and I have not met even a single person, married or otherwise, who holds a candle to him. At this point I’m making plans for lifelong singlehood.

      I’m also wondering if I can, in good conscience, date someone who is otherwise a good catch but SO MUCH LESS than my ex-bf. Is that fair to the new prospect? He will never, ever, compare to my ex…so shouldn’t I let him pursue someone who will treasure him the way I treasured my ex?

      Thursday thoughts. Ugh.

      • anonymous

        If he was that nasty, he’s not a catch. Chances are he’ll compare well by not leaving you in a nasty, calculated fashion. You deserve better, and you can find it.

        • Senior Attorney

          Agreed. Maybe some therapy to help get over the ex? Plainly if he left you in a nasty and calculated fashion he was and is a nasty person and not a treasure at all.

      • Lorelai Gilmore

        He sounds like a jerk. And I suggest that you seriously consider why you think someone who left you in a nasty, calculated way is such a treasure.

  6. Kady

    Um… Am I missing something??? I don’t see snakeskin, haircalf or half d’orsay on this shoe!

  7. dotty

    Try being from Australia- people in New York keep asking me about crocodiles, sparks and spiders!!

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