Coffee Break: Convection Toaster Oven

I’m a bit of a weirdo in summer in that I absolutely HATE to turn on the oven — so if I need to cook anything I always use my toaster oven. Actually, if I’m being honest, I use my toaster oven whenever possible, at all points throughout the year, because it’s just so easy — it heats up quickly, cools down quickly, doesn’t make the entire space too hot, etc, etc. I’ve roasted veggies in it, baked casseroles, broiled fish and chicken — if you’ve been tempted by the popularity of air fryers right now it’s worth noting that a good convection toaster oven is just as good as an air fryer. I have an older version of this oven, I think — it’s a convection oven from Cuisinart that is highly rated and marked down to $182 on Amazon. (Dimensions: 14″ L x 20″ W x 11″ H.) Cuisinart TOB-260N1 Chef’s Convection Toaster Oven, Stainless Steel

Psst: I just did a search to see if RHONY castmember Sonja Morgan ever came out with her toaster oven, and it looks like no, she did not — but here are some of her favorite toaster oven recipes.

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  1. Famil wedding :

    Wedding gift question

    Was invited to a family wedding across the country. Cousin getting married – 2nd marriage for him (widow), first for her. Very small wedding at their home. Very small family. They’ve lived together for a couple years.

    Wedding invitation says something along the lines of “your presence is gift enough”. They are very well off.

    I can’t go because of family obligations that the totally understand.

    Do I give a gift? And if so, what? No registry of course.

    I feel like it is different because I am not going and it’s family?

    • Send a card and flowers, or a card and nice wine.

      • Anonymous :

        +1. As a recent second time bride who also lived with her now-husband beforehand and is financially comfortable, I really don’t need a gift. Thank you for the thought! A card and flowers or wine is plenty if you feel you must, but we only got cards from immediate family, and that was plenty.

      • Anonymous :


        Personally, gifts would have created work for us. We have a house full of things and a fully stocked (overstocked, really) kitchen. A pile of gifts would have been work to sort and work to figure out where to put and work to figure out what to get rid of to make room. Take them at their word that they don’t want anything. Send the card and feel no feelings of guilt.

    • Anonymous :

      Um, toaster oven?

      • Anonymous :

        I know you’re joking but please no! We had a small registry of things we wanted to upgrade, like our bedding, because we lived in a small apartment and we already had a lot (we were mid-20s and first marriage for both, but we had both already accumulated quite a bit of household stuff). My MIL went off registry and bought us a GIANT toaster oven, that we really didn’t have space for (or need for, since we had both a normal toaster and an oven) and my husband wouldn’t let me return it. And then she did the same thing when we had a baby and bought us a giant, super fancy stroller that we didn’t need at all because my college BFF had given us the stroller we registered for…
        In general she’s a sweet lady but I don’t know why she insists on giving physically large gifts that we didn’t register for.

        • Mother in law’s can be daffy! Rosa’s mother in law is just like this. She loves the kids (b/c they are cute) so she gives the same gifts to them year after year! She got them bicycles 3 years in a row and they are the same as the ones from the year before. When Rosa told her that, she said she got them for making a deposit in a bank so give them away if the kids dont want them! Ed was mortified! FOOEY!

    • Anonymous :

      Thanks all. My gut was to send a card and a consumable gift like wine or flowers. So thanks for your input.

  2. Toaster ovens rule :

    I use my convection toaster oven whenever possible, especially in the summer. If I can make it in the toaster oven instead of the oven, I do. It takes less time to heat up and it doesn’t warm up the kitchen like a regular oven. I even made chocolate chip cookies, froze the dough, and made small batches of freshly baked cookies in my toaster oven. I had to stop because it wasn’t a great habit for my waistline.

    • Anonymous :

      LOL at this…when I had a larger kitchen I did the same thing with chocolate chip cookies. Glad there are two of us for whom it was a problem :)

      • 3 of us, but I do not bake any more b/c there is a great bakery on 86th street which makes alot of great German pastries. Dad says that place is singulearly responsible for 10 pounds on my tuchus! FOOEY!

    • So I would love one of these in theory but I am not willing to sacrifice the kitchen counter space. Maybe if I had one of those large open kitchens.

      BUT – we upgraded our oven and I have to say it heats up so fast I really don’t feel like time is an issue anymore. And I can’t say my kitchen feels hot when I use it. I’d want this just more for the ease of use/not bending down.

    • Both in our smaller kitchen and in our larger kitchen, we use this toaster oven (slightly older model) for just about everything unless it’s a truly big item that requires the oven. Most played usage: re-heating leftovers, roasting vegetables, toasting almonds, and baking single cookies (I also freeze a batch and bake one at a time)!

    • We use our convection toaster oven at least every day. In addition to everything in the comments above, we use it to make delicious bacon on the weekends. I also use it to bake sweet potatoes a few times a week.

      We have the toaster oven in a corner, so we wouldn’t be able to use a lot of the counter space it takes up anyways.

  3. I love the idea of a toaster/convention oven. Unfortunately, due to space constraints, I am limited to a small toaster oven, but I do use it a lot in the summer.

    A question for all of you myfitnesspal and Fitbit users. I just signed up for mfp because a couple of friends are doing it and it seemed like a good fit for me. I’m liking it so far because it makes me more accountable for what I eat rather than stress eating Oreo thins at my desk, or wanting to have Cheetos and wine for dinner. I liked the idea that, since I was walking for 5 hours in the heat at the Pride parade, I could justify a vodka and tonic! I exercise a lot, so I’ve just been inputting my burned calories from the machine at the gym, but one of my friends who’s doing mfp was recommending adding a pedometer. I am pretty sedentary in my job, so I doubt if I’ll be surprised how many steps I take in a given day (except during the school year when I’m running around and teaching). The various Fitbit models are a bit overwhelming. I am thinking, if I get one, I’d rather have one that displays. Do the ones that don’t have a display just connect to an app? How does this work, and what recs do you all have?

    • My dad uses the Fitbit app for tracking steps but doesn’t have a Fitbit itself. So you could just do that if you always have your phone on you. All of the Fitbits connect to the app and your stats display in the app in addition to the screen on the Fitbit if it has one. I had the Charge HR and it was good. The Alta is cuter and looks more like jewelry than a fitness tracker if that’s important to you. Alta and Charge HR have screens.

    • Anonymous :

      If you want a fitness tracker, get one, but they’re notoriously inaccurate (as is MyFitnessPal) for inaccurate calorie burn/from exercise. I like my fitness tracker a lot, but if I ate back all the calories I “burned” I would definitely not be losing weight!

      I’d recommend decided how much you want to eat (for most people, that means one amount on exercise days, another on non-exercise days) and plug those goals in separately. Maybe look up IIFYM to get some ideas if you like just eating X calories a day.

      • You know, that’s what a friend of mine said – that she just lets myfitnesspal think she’s lazy because she doesn’t want to eat back all of her exercise calories. I have taken a middling approach. I put in my workout calories burned (from the machine), but never eat all of them. I’ve been happy with it so far.

        And thanks for the perspective on the fitness tracker. I go to the gym 6 days a week and I don’t even really put everything into mfp. I don’t really care what I burn in terms of walking on a normal day and I don’t feel like I need to get up and move just so I get exercise. That’s what I go to the gym for. I can see why my friend might want that, because he has a lot of weight to lose and hasn’t been at all active.

    • I like my Fitbit. I’ve had several (I was an early adopter) and now use the Alta HR. It’s pretty small compared to some others, but has a face that reports info rather than having to always look at the app. I like that it tracks sleep, heartrate and steps. As others have indicated, it’s not totally accurate, but I’d say it’s within a reasonable margin (I have a Garmin with a cheststrap heartrate monitor that I wear when I run and the steps it tracks are within 5% of those on my Fitbit for the same distance; heartrate is actually pretty consistent). I agree that it gives you more credit for some exercise than you deserve, but it doesn’t catch everything (I get no steps and no “credit” for hot yoga for instance, though I know I am obviously burning at least a few calories).

  4. Piggybacking off the [email protected] discussion this morning:

    Good places to get 2 piece bathing suits for women with small ribcages? Ideally, any that are not too expensive?

    • Aerie. I’m petite with smallish b00bs. They always have sales going on and the bathing suits are moderately priced to begin with.

    • Midwest Gal :

      Nordstrom during upcoming Anniversary Sale.

    • Anonymous :

      I haven’t tried their suits yet, but there are a lot of nice options at Figleaves. They have their own line of swimsuits and carry others.

    • BigLaw Sr Assoc :

      I personally love Ted Baker. Can order by bra size.

  5. Silly question. We’ve talked about bra fittings. Is there a store that does underwear fittings? I know this sounds crazy but I must have a weird shaped rump or something because I just get perpetual uncomfortable wedgies. I’ve tried all different shapes and sizes and only maybe 5% of my underwear is comfortable 90% of the time or more. I’d also be willing to accept a little more VPL if it would keep my damn underwear in place. That said, I also don’t want granny panties. I’d love to be able to go to a fitter, show her what I look like in underwear and have her pick out a bunch for me to try. It gets expensive buying underwear only to learn it doesn’t really fit right. The only place I know that lets you try it on is VS and that’s not really my style. Further, you have to try it on over your other undergarments so it is hard to say if it will really work and stay put. I’m so sick of it!

    • Anonymous :

      Soma Invisible Edge panties.

    • I’m sure you’ve tried a ton, so ignore if this is repetitive to your efforts: the Soma underwear with the grippies is FANTASTIC. Or, consider a thong (in the right size, shouldn’t really be uncomfortable, let alone perceptible).

      I think you can try on the non-thong undies at Soma?

    • Anonymous :

      I totally agree. Natori is pretty much the only brand that I don’t hate. I find that high waisted styles work better – I think I’m taller, so I have a longer behind, so I need to pull them up more. I also like the Soma kind, but occasionally the grips become super uncomfortable if you’re sitting a lot. I once took off a pair in a plane bathroom because I couldn’t stand them anymore. If you share what brand you like, maybe we can chime in with similar fits?

    • I feel this :

      not a fan of the Somas, myself. Any kind of vanishing edge usually rolls up or moves. I have some similar fit problems and what works best for me is something that has generous back coverage but isn’t too low in the legs (as some boyshorts are) as that tends to creep and/or create lines.You also want some kind of elastic or something that will hold the underwear in place, preferably in a “non-cheeky” position, but that doesn’t cut in or make dents.

      Have you tried OnGossamer? I hate wedgies (and know what you’re talking about) and love both the boyshorts and the bikinis. I think the editor of lucky magazine was a big fan of these as well.

      A few other ideas: White Rabbit lets you try on for free (including washing, etc). Another option is to stalk amazon and order various random pairs that are on sale as a test. Bare Necessities will chat with you online and recommend styles.

    • Do you know what shape you are?

      I am pear shaped with a relatively large behind/hips. I learned from this site that even though I wear somewhat slender sizes of pants in some cuts, in underwear I need a large. I was buying smalls or mediums and not getting why they never fit.

      Soma vanishing edge work for me. No boy shorts. Bikinis. Or just give up and get hanky panky thongs.

      • I also was wondering if you need to size up — maybe one or two sizes — in order to get a fit that suits your shape.

      • A big +1 to this. Size way up.
        Like I’m a 4 and really slim overall but wear a Large in Jockey cotton underwear.

  6. Leaning Out for an Extended Period/WWYD? :

    I’m a senior (very senior) associate in a medium-size law firm. I’m theoretically on partnership track but due to a host of personal reasons with a special needs kid and related issues, haven’t been hustling to try to develop business and get my name out there internally or externally. I honestly don’t think I can handle adding more to my load now; I’m barely holding things together as it is. At the same time, I’m angry that I didn’t get any sort of compensation increase last year despite meeting my budget (my department overall was under budget), taking on more group administrative work, and doing excellent substantive work. I care less about the money than the message it sends that I got nothing (and the firm overall did well).

    I’m having lunch with my boss/mentor next week to discuss. Should I just admit to him that I don’t realistically see myself having the time and energy to hustle and try to get to the partnership level in the next few years, and ask to be taken off partnership track? Pretend that I really want to be a partner and am trying hard to get there? He knows about my kid’s special needs but not all the gory details (and I don’t want to focus on what’s going on in my personal life — he’s my boss, not my friend). I plan to raise the compensation issue in either case because that was just insulting.

    What would you do?

    • What does meeting your budget mean? Hours? Does your firm/group have a viable non-partnership track option?

    • Anonymous :

      Did you ask for the meeting or did he? Do you know for a fact that everyone else got a raise and only you and a few under-performers did not? I guess I don’t see the impetus for saying, well, anything.

      • Yes, meeting my billable hours budget. I asked for the meeting with my mentor/boss. The associates who are still lockstep salary definitely got a raise (I am now too senior to be on the lockstep pay scale). Part of my impetus for the meeting is that if I am going to be treated as leaning out (which I guess is what the lack of any raise says), then I want the the benefit of leaning out and they can get someone else to do all of the extra administrative work, coming in on weekends, taking on extra projects that mean I spend hours after kid’s bedtime hunched over laptop, etc.

        • To me, this sounds like they consider you a de facto counsel. Your salary has topped out. Counsels don’t often get raises or big bonuses–they get their (pretty high) salaries and that’s it. The firm may be expecting you to be hustling for business and taking the steps that senior associates on partnership track take to make partner. So while your perspective is, “I met my hours!” their perspective is “why isn’t she hustling and going way above and beyond?” And my perspective is–senior associate with a special needs kids–how in the heck do you even hold it together?!? Bravo!!!

          I would definitely have a check-in with your mentor to discuss. Does your firm have something in between senior associate and partner, so a counsel that is off-track for now, but goes back on track in a year or two? This is what I wqould propose, because this could be a really uncomfortable conversation. What if they tell you that you don’t fit their model and it’s time to leave? I would have a proposal for him, instead of letting him tell you what you might not want to hear.

    • Anonymous :

      I was in a similar position as you. Senior associate, theoretically on the partnership track, but I just couldn’t go all in b/c of my kids. I kept trying to figure out how to make it work – push through or lean out more and go part-time? I decided to take another job with state government. It’s been the best thing. I took a small pay-cut, but the stress-cut is more than worth it. I encourage you to think about it!

    • Anonymous :

      At my firm, part of performing at the level expected of senior associates who stay on track is doing the necessary business development groundwork. So an associate who is not doing that work is going to top out on comp and reviews are going to start going down due to lack of performance in that area. Can you ask if you could be put in a modified role so you don’t get pushed out? We have a couple of associates and a partner who have worked out alternate arrangements with the firm in circumstances like yours.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      As a litigator with a special needs kid, I just want to offer you my support and admiration, OP. It is not an easy road, Mama.

      I do want to ask you this – do you want to be a partner? If the answer is yes, then how important is that to you? Would you be willing to get some extra help at home in order to make the necessary push for a few years in order to obtain the advantages of partnership as you see them (prestige, money, security etc.). Because what you want matters here too.

      Regardless, I would definitely raise the salary issue with your mentor and see if you can get a feel for what it means from your mentor’s perspective.

  7. Has anyone purchased a sofa from Wayfair? Any reviews? I’m looking for a small sectional sofa, and I’d like to spend $1000 or less.

    • Linda from HR :

      I’d like to know this too. Boyfriend and I will be looking to buy a sofa for our new place (not now, when we move in September), probably won’t wanna spend too much but we also don’t want to end up with some uncomfortable slab of junk that falls apart after a year.

    • Anonymous :

      Ask me again in a month! That’s when mine will be delivered.

    • Macy’s has really great sofas at that price point. Recommend.

  8. Hourglass Needs Help! :

    I’m in my mid-30s and I have been losing weight. Since October, I’m down approx. 40 lbs. and am planning on 10 more, making me approx. size 8. (I’m approx. 5’3.) This has changed my body shape so I am now hourglass but I carry my weight in the lower abs-area (though I don’t have/am not having kids). I’m struggling with how to dress my body so that I don’t look super wide (happens if the shape is too straight because I have bust and hips) but so it isn’t so figure hugging that my lower abs make me look/feel poochy. I primarily wear casual clothes since work is really casual (think jeans/sweater/riding boots in the fall). Recommendations?? (Looking for both how to dress this shape and links or guidance on what would be flattering on this shape.)

    Also, with this shape, are there sweatshirts for bon fire nights and football games that won’t look sloppy/oversized? I love my hoodie but it hits my bust/hips so I just look much wider than I am!

    • Another anon :

      I have a friend with this shape and she looks amazing in true fit and flare dresses. A shirt dress with a belt and a slight flare both accentuates your waist and skims over hips and lower abs.

      Something along the lines of this shape —

    • Anonymous :

      So many skirts and pants come with “tummy flattening” panels – I think Talbots and RL have some and I know my Levi’s do. I wear the Levi’s 300 series which are great for this. [I am the same, no kids, but am starting to build abs through daily workouts but still a little pooch.] Try to find pants, and skirts if you wear them, with less spandex and more substantial fabrics. Look for more fitted hoodies and female-shaped sweatshirts, or just go smaller sizes. Some people will say you don’t have to look perfectly hourglass every day but no one wants to look worse if they can help it.

      Also the blog Inside Out Style is great for ideas of how to dress your shape – check out the 8 and X shapes.

  9. Anonymous :

    I had no idea a convection toaster could be used to roast vegetables. Mind blown!

  10. Hi ladies, my hair has been rough and dry lately and I have tried all different washing methods/shampoos/ conditioners with no real results. The other day I went swimming in a “saline chlorine” pool at the gym, let my hair air dry (didn’t shower afterwards) and it was softer and shinier than it’s been in months! what gives? And how to recreate at home? I am white with medium thick slightly wavy long hair ( would probably be waiver if it were longer). Thanks fir any tips!

    • Anonymous :

      A saltwater pool? I have one and it gives nice texture – I have straight fine hair. They sell those beach waves/salt sprays at Target and grocery stores but I never had as much luck. I have even seen where you can make your own so you might do a search.

      • My understanding is that it is not saltwater (as you have in the ocean) , rather, it is a different method of making chlorine that is supposedly healthier/better for the environment. (Chlorine is a form of salt…or at least it comes from salt…I was not good at chemistry and I’m not going to include a link to avoid m o d but you can search it if you are interested. )

        So a beach wave/salt spray would not work…..Hmmm, maybe the gym would let me take a couple buckets a week from the pool to use at home ;-) ….Or maybe we finally found the motivation I need to get to the gym regularly, haha!

        But seriously, if anyone knows whats up with this I would appreciate it. Haven’t moved in years.

    • Are you washing every day?
      Have you moved recently?

    • sephora has a couple “beach hair” sampler kits (or maybe also a free gift with purchase?) Might be worth trying. also, is it possible you’re weighing your hair down with product? I would try a clarifying shampoo or vinegar rinse (they say apple cider but I also use white vinegar and it’s fine) and then skip washing for a few days.

      • I had a reply but I think it got eaten. Basically a salt pool is not the same as saltwater in the ocean; it’s just a different way of making chlorine…So I don’t think salt sprays would work. But I am also just curious what is causing this so I can try to recreate it. Maybe the gym will let me take buckets of water home! Or maybe we finally found the motivation I need to go to the gym more regularly.

        Anyway, thanks to everyone who replied.

        • Anonymous :

          I have wavy/curly hair and my hair LOVES the ocean and pools. I have the best hair after being in chlorine. I don’t know why.

  11. Has anyone used a designer to help with a bathroom remodel? We don’t need an architect, but I would like someone to help pick out tile, vanity, etc. for our bathroom. I feel overwhelmed with choices. A coworker suggested that a designer could help with not only the bath but also with layouts for an awkward room in our house. This is exactly the help I need, but I never realized this is actually what designers do! Is there any advice for finding and working with a designer?

    • When we redid our kitchen, one of the nicer kitchen places I visited offered this service. It was basically part of their whole package – you get everything through them and they have someone with some experience point you in the right direction. Why not go into some bath places? I’m sure they have similar services.

    • I had an interior designer draw plans for a bathroom renovation. We haven’t done it yet, but when we do, I plan to ask her to select all the stuff, too. It was a very good design! There are certifications for interior designers, so I would check out those to get someone who really knows what he/she is doing!

    • Anonymous :

      I used a designer to re-think floorplan in our master bath, and help select all the finishes and recommend vendors. No way I could have done the project without her. I found her through a neighborhood Facebook group–I asked for recommendations and multiple people vouched for her work. I talked to one other designer candidate, but ultimately it was clear who the right choice was.

    • Anonymous :

      Look for a certified kitchen and bath designer. We have a couple in our area and we chose one to do two bathrooms. We gave them a Pinterest of pictures of things we liked and they did the design and build.

  12. Go Fund Me? :

    What happened to Bode Miller’s family is absolutely tragic. But I just saw that they have aGo fund Me for medical bills and funeral costs.

    Is this as gross as I think it is (because I assume they have the money and health insurance!), or are professional athletes of this caliber struggling to have medical coverage and pay for funerals? They are targeting $40k.

    I don’t want to link to it but it’s in the coverage.

    Maybe I’m cynical about GFMs in general. Our town had a young girl get hit by a car, and there was a GFM started because her dad is out of work and they are on a super high deductible plan. I get that. It stinks.

    But then another one came up for someone whose cat needs surgery. It was $500. I get it. But if you have a cat, is asking The Internet an appropriate way to pay for its care? Idk. Maybe I’m just surly.

    • Anonymous :

      View from a non-American: I think these are outrageous. Not that people are trying to fund medical bills but that it’s even a necessity. This isn’t really a thing in other democracies that guarantee healthcare for their citizens.

      No comment on the cat surgery though – that seems eye roll inducing.

    • Anon in NYC :

      Honestly, this is one of those things where I just do not judge. If I don’t personally feel like contributing, I won’t. But I’m willing to give people a lot of leeway in the aftermath of something so devastating. If it makes you feel better, I think the couple’s midwives organized the GFM for them.

      I personally would not contribute to a random person’s GFM for their cat.

      • Anonymous :

        They (Bode and his wife) both shared it on their social media pages so I don’t think it really matters who set it up, they are clearly endorsing it/asking for money. The midwives presumably know just a few hundred people personally, but by sharing it on their social media the Millers are showing it to hundreds of thousands.

        I find it pretty gross, but I admit I think Bode Miller is pure scum. He knocked up a woman a few months before he married his current wife, and they refer to the kid by a different name than his mom gave him which just seems super nasty and confusing for the poor kid. Apparently he didn’t want to be involved initially but when his pregnant ex moved across the country to attend college, he hauled her into court in CA and got the kid taken away from the only parent he’d ever known.

    • The GFMs for tragedies like this just make me despondent that the health care/insurance situation in this country is so dire that people have to turn to begging the internet for charity to pay for medical bills. I do not want to start a debate about the ACA or anything of that nature, but I recall seeing (when the debates were raging a few years ago) lots of republican responses to reasonable questions of what families should do if they can’t pay crippling medical bills that went something like “turn to the Church” or “lean on your community.” Well, this is what leaning on our community looks like now. But no bake-sale/meal train is ever going to raise enough money for most people who need serious medical care.

      As for wealthy athletes…maybe someone set it up for them? Is it gross? Eh, no one’s obligated to give them anything. Re: pets. Not everyone has $500 lying around to pay for a cat’s care. I don’t think it’s rude to ask, but no one’s obligated to help.

    • Flats Only :

      Presumably the family friend who set up the GFM knows a bit about the family’s financial situation, and knows that the money would be a help. Athletes are notoriously bad with money, and I don’t think that even for champions ski racing can set you up for life.

    • Anonymous :

      Well, funerals and medical expenses are enormous, especially when you aren’t expecting them. They may not have the funds (prob at least 10k) readily available.

    • Sometimes friends or family start these because they want to do something. They can’t just sit around feeling helpless. People contribute to show support to the family, not just because they have a need for money. Oftentimes, leftover money gets donated to a charity. I’m thinking more of some high profile tragedies near my area where a random citizen started the go fund me and the family didn’t really need the money. I do agree that Go Fund Me is ripe for fraud and I’d like some endorsement from the family that it will really be going to them.

    • I think contributing to tragic GoFundMe accounts has sort of taken the place of how we used to bring a hot dish to a funeral lunch, or drop off a pair of knitted booties when a baby was born. A gesture to show you care by doing something concrete. These little gestures knit our society together. I often give a random $20 to accounts that touch me personally in some way (someone from my small hometown, something affecting a friend-of-a-friend, or even a cause that’s dear to the heart of someone I love). Whether it does any good isn’t really the point, it’s more about strengthening social bonds. (This is money I can easily afford and makes up only a tiny fraction of an overall charity budget that is much more thoughtfully attributed).

    • JuniorMinion :

      I could see the same kind of judgement that he has applied to the rest of his life (regularly racing drunk??) being problematic if its applied to his finances. I also would wonder if his sponsorship / $ have been affected by the fact that he is a bit of a problematic figure in skiing.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m in the “this is gross” camp. I mean, sure, maybe someone started it for them but the fact of the matter is that they can always refuse the help and ask whoever it was that opened the GFM in their name to shut it down. It looks like the is a successful person and so is his wife and there are other people that would be better served by that charity but I bet that the GFM will get blown out of the water because it’s a famous person.

      • Anonymous :

        This. It’s just seems like greed. Of course they have the money; they’d just rather someone else pay. But this is where we are in America.

    • fake coffee snob :

      I’m with you, but also – across many cultures, in recent history, there have been various ways that people financially support community members who are having a hard time financially (rent parties, church programs, etc.). I wonder if the rise of GFM asks has been more visible because people do not necessarily have those same social ties or those community traditions to ask for help, so instead they turn to asking near (or complete) strangers to contribute online instead.

      As to the cat surgery – eh, if I had a pet dying of something treatable and GFM was the only thing I could think of to save them, I mean, I’d gladly sacrifice my dignity to at least try whatever I could do to help them. I feel fortunate that at this point in my life I have enough savings that that I wouldn’t need that, but that doesn’t make me a more virtuous person, just a richer one.

    • Linda from HR :

      He may be a successful athlete, but it’s possible he doesn’t have an employer-provided health plan, and maybe his wife has one but its’s not great either, so his family has little to no coverage (maybe one those high deductible HSA type deals). Also, his career may be one where he sometimes pulls a ton of money in and times where he has to get by on his savings, and maybe paying for this whole thing himself may not leave him with a whole lot.

      It’s also possible that he might not be able to work for a while, his grief may prevent him from training or taking appearance gigs.

      I’m not gonna judge. If he needs it, that really stinks, but I doubt he’s gonna profit off the kid’s death or take the money and run away to Bermuda.

    • Grinchy OP :

      I think part of it is that I think someone of that level of fame should have at least enough health insurance to cover the bills- even if it’s a 10k Deductible. And because of the fame, the family gets a big GFM campaign vs everyone else in the country with a 10K Deductible to which horrible things happen and they get buried in medical debt.

      Same with funeral expenses- it’s expensive, but these are not middle class Americans (I don’t think?) living paycheck to paycheck. And yet, here comes a money truck to bail them out when people have to be buried on the cheap every day.

      I’d feel very differently if this were a single parent working to make ends meet in town. And I’d feel similarly irked if it was the bigwig CEO in my town living in a 3M house.

      Interesting point though generally on the GFM replacing the casserole-and-flowers/ “how can I help?” Attitude. For community ones, that seems spot on.

      Re: the cat GFM, it rubbed me the wrong way becuse it came from someone who, based on their job and lifestyle, should be able to care for their pets. Sure, maybe they have 100k in CC debt I don’t know about. But optically, when you wear $200 shoes and drive a luxury car, it’s hard to believe $500 is the sort of thing your community should be paying for.

    • Anonymous :

      Bode Miller put one of his baby mamas through a terrible and absolutely harrowing custody battle. Maybe he should have saved some of the money he spent on lawyers in the custody case? I have sympathy for his loss, but no sympathy for his financial problems.

      • Anonymous :

        +1,000,000 Bode Miller is an a$$hole.

        • Never too many shoes... :

          I also agree he is a terrible person for what he put that woman through.

          The midwives may have meant well with this, but Bode and his wife sharing it on social media put it into the ‘ew, gross’ category for me.

  13. Of Counsel :

    I tend to be cynical about Go Fund Me because of the potential for fraud (how do I know you really have a sick cat?). Having said that, the solution is not to give money to people and causes you do not want to support or who you do not think need support and let it go. Some people want to support a family who have had a terrible loss and cannot think of how else to do it. I do not think offering $20 toward a funeral or medical expenses – whether needed or not – is less worthwhile than sending flowers and many people would rather help a sick pet than a sick person (which is their prerogative).

    As long as people are being honest about what they are planning on doing with the money, I think the donors are the best judges of what is appropriate. No sense in wasting your emotional energy on it.

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