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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
If you’re someone who prefers to stick to natural fabrics, I find Madewell to have a lot of really excellent options. This 100% cotton top would look beautiful with some high-waisted pants and a blazer for an easy office look, but would pair just as nicely with some navy shorts and sandals for the weekend.
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This Old Navy top is available in additional sizes (regular, tall, and petite) and starts at $30.97 — with an extra 25% off at checkout.
Sales of note for 9.30.24
- Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 50% off select styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
- Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Fall Cyber Monday sale, 40% off sitewide and $5 shipping
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
H20
How much water do you typically drink each day and how do you drink it? For example: Brita, gallon water, work water fountain, etc.
I need to increase my water intake and was just curious what other people’s “normal” is.
Anon
I aim to drink 80, but don’t always get there. At least 64. I have two Stanley’s and fill them up the night before. I don’t always reach my goal because I’m in a job where i still mask sometimes. I feel thirst the days where i drink less than 80
bird in flight
I drink around 80 ounces. I fill my 40 oz Stanley in the morning with ice, and then twice throughout the day.
go for it
1 gallon + at room temp. Water cooler at work, or faucet at home. I fill a large flip top bottle 4x a day.
I found a bottle that is easy to use.
anon
I bought one of those water bottles with the time stamps on it. It is 32 oz. I aim to drink one bottle per day. Honestly I still struggle to do that.
Cornellian
wow! Out of curiosity, do you drink a lot of other liquids? are you really petite? that seems like so little to me!
Anon
About 80-90 ounces on days I don’t work out (or have an easy or short workout), easily probably about 100-120 on days I do a normal workout, probably 150++ on days with a long or hard workout.
I use a Nalgene bottle (32 oz) it’s always been my preference. I prefer room temp water, so I don’t like insulated bottles. On long runs I have a running vest with water bladder I use too.
Anon
Oh, and if I’m at home I refill from the tap in my kitchen sink. At work they have a filtered tap that I use.
Anon
Whoa… that’s a lot of water.
Be careful. Make sure you mix in some sports drinks/electrolytes if you drink that much with hard exercise. Water overload, without enough sodium to balance is real and I’ve seen it multiple times. It can be deadly too.
Anonymous
I’m better about it during the work week than on weekends, but about 80 oz of water a day. This includes at least 4 cans of room temperature lacorix (to me, it tastes better because it is fizzier) while at work (we have this in our drink fridge), and then I have several contigo brand straw cups that I drink from at home, and I have about 1.5 of those, so that’s roughly 36 oz of water.
Anony
That’s a lot of lacroix and they have PFAS in it.
Anonymous
Everyting has PFAS in it.
Anon
But there are brands that do not.
Anon
So does half the tap water in America
Anon
This is why I never comment on threads like this. Thanks for the random and unsolicited life commentary, internet stranger.
Anonymous
Not enough. If I’m WFH it’s more but for some reason at the office I don’t drink anywhere near as much and I haven’t found a solution to this yet (I’ve tried various drinking vessels but nothing seems to stick). Realistically on a good day I will probably drink 1.5 litres but most days more like a litre.
I also have bladder issues so I always have to be super strategic about when it’s ‘safe’ to drink water e.g. if I know I have a period of time coming up where I won’t easily be able to use a bathroom, I won’t drink anything before that (which is why I don’t drink anything at home before leaving for the office as I would end up needing the bathroom on the way and that isn’t practical with my commute).
NYNY
The best thing I’ve done to improve my hydration was to get into a habit of drinking a big glass of water first thing in the morning. After that, I let my thirst guide me, but I usually get about 80 ounces/day. Brita in the fridge at home because I prefer water cold. Swell water bottle in the office that I fill from a cooler or filter depending on which site I’m working from.
anon
Yes, drinking a lot of water right away has really changed things for me. I take a medication first thing in the morning that says to drink a large glass of water with it, and after just a week or so of being on it, I realized that I was drinking more throughout the day. I just pound down a pint glass of water with my pill, and then have probably 4 or 5 more pint glasses during the day (I don’t actually track it). I usually drink an entire 20 oz water bottle during my workouts in addition to this. I think it probably works out to 70-90 ozs total a day. I just drink water from whatever tap is closest when I want to fill my water glass, and sometimes have a spindrift after dinner, too.
Anne-on
I usually get ~60 oz a day. I keep a tumbler on my bedside table with 13 oz of water that I drink first thing in the AM before I get out of bed. Then I take my meds (~4-6oz) then I have my AM glass of water, my glass with lunch, my PM glass of water, my sparkling water while prepping dinner/with dinner, and another glass of water to sip on while watching TV/reading until bed. I strongly dislike nalgenes and need to force myself to drink water so visually having a glass set next to me at my laptop/while I eat/while I relax in the evenings is a mindless way to get my water in.
In the office our communal areas are stocked with fizzy water dispensers so I’ll have 1-2 glasses of that plus 1-2 canned flavored seltzers. We try not to do canned drinks at home (soda stream instead) so that’s my in-office treat.
Formerly Lilly
You know the kind of water cooler you’d find at an office, with chilled water from a recycled 5 gallon jug of water? I put one in my kitchen, signed up for the water delivery service, and have greatly increased my water consumption. My tap water tastes terrible, and I prefer my drinking water to be chilled, so that was a perfect solution. My fridge does filtered cooled water but it fills a glass very slowly and goes through filters pretty quickly if you use it much, so that wasn’t working well for me.
cake
Three or four 12oz cans of sparking water (Spindrift) per day plus another maybe 8oz filtered tap water.
Anon
I don’t track it. I drink when I am thirsty. I usually have a glass with electrolytes on mornings I go to the gym, and then drink 3-5 12 oz seltzer waters throughout the day. I judge my hydration by the color of my urine.
NYCer
Same, except I rarely drink seltzer water.
Anonymous
+
Anon100
Around 50-60 oz a day (assuming I’m not doing strenuous outside exercise), more than that I’m going to the restroom every 10 minutes. I track by having a clear reusable water bottle with the volume marked, so I can see my intake over the day. Usually it’s brita water poured into my water bottle, but also work water fountain if I’m in the office.
Cat
A 1.5L bottle. I prefer it room temp and so it sits on my desk next to me staring at me if I haven’t made much progress.
Anon
I pretty much only drink decaf tea, except on the hottest summer days.
Anon
I drink 80-96 oz a day. I have a 32 oz straw water bottle and try to drink 3 a day (one before noon, the second before my work day is over, the third throughout the evening). I fill up with fridge-temp water from our Brita.
I’m definitely more consistent when I’m working from home and not running around doing stuff in the weekend.
Anon
I probably drink 7-8 litres a day. I love water. I like it very cold out of my Stanley cup.
anonshmanon
7-8 litres?? Almost 2gl?
Anon
You definitely could become water overload. Please… add salts.
Anon
Probably 3-4 16 ounce glasses until bedtime, then I have a water bottle next to my bed and drink more. I don’t count it. I drink when I’m thirsty and that seems to take care of my needs.
Anonymous
I don’t drink as much as most other posters (how do you all make it through meetings during the day?). But ways that help me are to have a big glass in the am after I walk the dog and before my shower.Then later I the day—after dinner—I also make a big ice and water blend in my nutribullet blender and add a squeeze of true lemon. I treat this like desert. Those two things usually get me to more than recommended.
NY CPA
I find having a really large drinking container helps me drink more. I have a giant insulated tumbler (30-something oz? maybe 40?) that I keep on my desk filled with cold water. Could be a water bottle, large glass, what have you. Refill at least once per day from Brita that I keep in fridge. And then drink a normal sized glass of cold water with dinner. At the office, I definitely drink less because I don’t have the big cup.
During COVID, when I was staying with family in a 2-story house, I found I didn’t refill my glass throughout the day because I’d have to go downstairs, so keeping a pitcher of water on my desk to refill my glass throughout the day was helpful.
Anon
I get to a certain point where everything I drink goes right through me. Am I the only one? I’ve been tested for diabetes because I was urinating too much, and everything is good!
anon
Totally. I honestly don’t know how people are drinking this much without floating away, lol. I start my day with a glass of water, and after that, I drink to thirst, at meals, and after workouts. That seems to be fine?
anon
Yeah most of the posters are drinking way way more than they need to. I drink far less, try to be more attentive to when I need to drink/am thirsty (as it is easy to ignore when you are working) and still need have to pee a lot. I mean… when your body needs it, it hangs on to it. When it doesn’t, it pees it out., and often quite quickly when you are healthy. So if these posters are peeing every 1-2 hours and don’t mind, that’s ok. But with aging, and being out and about and not wanting to worry about constantly peeing it is ok to just drink what your body needs.
The best way to drink is smaller amounts spread evenly over time, with a bunch more with exercise/time in the heat. Because when you only drink water in big glasses all at once, your body will pee it out quicker and “use” less of it.
Anonymous
I read somewhere that you should drink half your bodyweight in water — for me that would be like 110 oz, so that would be a ton. I try to hit 80+ every day though. I include black coffee, diet coke, tea, and kombucha and non-alcoholic drinks as well though.
I have a big 32-oz carafe and try to drink it before lunch. +8 for coffee + 12 for my lunchtime diet coke, usually at least one more drink of a 16-oz glass of water or a big cup of herbal tea, and I’m pretty good. I prefer not to drink a ton near the end of the evening as I’ve found that keeps me up at night or will wake me up too early for my liking!
Anon
I heard this too (half body weight) and actually asked my doctor about it, who said that isn’t a thing. I was telling him because I was drinking so much and peeing a lot!
Anonymous
This is so interesting. I never drink water.
anon
I think many of us try to save our calories for tasty food!
Anon
Water doesn’t have calories though right?
Sybil
I believe anon at 3:10 meant people choosing to drink water instead of caloric beverages.
Sleep on a plane
Do you take anything to help you sleep on a long-haul flight? I’d like to take something so that I sleep and have energy to sight-see. We land at 7 am at our destination. It’s a 9-hour flight. I thought about taking Ambien which I have an RX for and tolerate well but I’m concerned it might be too much for a flight. I plan to have a sleeping mask, neck pillow and earplugs to help with sleep. What are your tips?
Anon
I’ve taken benadryl before – it’s the same thing as zzzquil.
anon
Melatonin works well for me.
Anon
The thing that I’ve found works well for me is a sleep hypnosis or sleep meditation track on Spotify. With an eye mask and neck pillow, works well enough to at least get me a couple hours. My husband takes drugs and I still typically sleep better than him going this route.
Sleep on a plane
Great tip! Thank you.
Anon
Gravol knocks me out.
Cora
I’ve been traveling a lot for work and take 1 mg melatonin.
Many people take more but I found that 1 mg is perfect and 5 mg gave me nightmares
Anon
I do Benadryl but I really struggle to sleep on planes and even that doesn’t reliably help me sleep.
Cat
Take a zzzquil, maybe just half a dose since a full one takes longer than that to wear off for me.
anon
+1. I take zzzquil or Advil PM.
Anonymous
I don’t. I find sleep aids often make me so drowsy I can’t read or watch a movie but don’t put me to sleep. I listen to rain noise on my headphones and focus on being peaceful and that usually helps.
Anonymous
Sleep as much as you can in the days before your trip so one night of crummy sleep won’t wreck it for you. Try to get 2 blocks of sleep vs 1 long block. I typically fall asleep best on take off for some reason even if sitting upright. I try to sleep then for an hour, eat, listen to an audio book with my eye mask on, sleep 2-3 hours, watch a movie/read a bit, sleep another hour or two, breakfast. Keep your eye mask on even if you are not asleep. Resting your eyes will make you feel better the next day vs if they are in use all night.
C2
I’ll let others comment on medications, I don’t take them on long-haul flights because of grogginess issues I have. My fiancé will take a melatonin with no problems, though. One tip I have is, if the airline food schedule disrupts your sleep schedule, eat before you get on the plane and skip the food. 9 hours is long enough to have dinner on the plane and still get a solid block of sleep, but if you’re still sleeping when breakfast comes around, ask to not be woken up and get as much rest as you can, and grab something quick upon landing. I also skip the free wine and cocktails, I’ve found they may help me fall asleep faster but I don’t stay asleep and feel more dehydrated later.
To be honest, regardless of how much I sleep on the plane, we always find ourselves with lower energy on Day 1, so I generally consider it to be an onboarding day to my destination: schedule things you won’t have to think too hard about. Try to check into your hotel early, but don’t take a nap. Freshen up and get outdoors. If you can’t check in, have your clothes for the day in a packing cube in your carry on and at a minimum, get out of your travel clothes and leave your bags with the front desk. Do a food tour or walking tour where you can follow someone else around and get the lay of the land. Have a schedule for the day that allows plenty of “small breaks” for cafe or snack stops, coffees, sitting on the plaza with a drink and watching the world go by, or get out on the water on a boat tour if your destination is on a coast or a river. We’ll sometimes visit one low-effort sight, but my brain isn’t usually ready for history/art museums/critical thinking on day 1. Eat an early dinner, wind down and go to bed early, and you’ll have kicked jet lag when you wake up on day 2.
Anon
I’ve posted before but I take hydroxyzine the night before a red eye flight (~24 hours before the flight). It would leave me too groggy if I took it right before the flight but (for me at least) it takes a long time to leave my body so if I take it the night before I’m drowsy on the plane but I can function when we land.
Anon
Benadryl.
Sasha
I usually take an edible right before I go through security–makes the time pass and makes it easier to sleep
Sleep on a plane
I usually take an edible right before I go through security–makes the time pass and makes it easier to sleep
Anon
I’ve done this too.
Anon
+1 works like a charm
Anon
If you have ambien, tolerate it well without side effects, of course take that. Do not change to something new.
Is there a time change where your going, so you need to switch your sleep cycle? If so, try to stay up the day before, take a melatonin and hour or two before you fall asleep on the plane. When you land, try to get sun on your face as soon as possible.
Some people have bad reactions to benadryl, and it often leaves you more groggy the next day. I would not try something new like that, for the first time.
Anon
A low dose of Xanax, like .25 or even .125. Sometimes with an edible.
Anon
I’ve taken half a trazadone and slept like a baby with no grogginess on cross country red eyes.
Anon
It is funny to me how we fuss over what equity partners do when they are actually business owners who have the autonomy to decide how to run their business. There is generally only one metric, collections, and only one review you get from management (at my firm): a number with your new compensation in it. No other feedback.
That said, I totally think that being a good sixth year associate is a completely different job with different metrics. And doing it well may well be at odds with being an equity partner ever. IDK that law schools teach you this or that an 18 YO knows what he or she is getting into after spending a life being a good rule-following worker bee (maybe a gunner, who people dislike, even) where that isn’t where the real money is or (maybe more important to some of us).
My BF works for a guy who maybe didn’t finish high school but he owns several fast food franchises after working his way up and has a very nice plane and boat. He needs good worker bee helpers (IT, accounting) but it is interesting to see how far you can go with hustle and people skills.
Anon
I agree with much of what you are saying, but for those of us whose interpersonal skills are merely average, a worker bee job can provide a nice living. I don’t aspire to a job where I have to shmooze people constantly, because that’s not my skill set. Would I like to work less and earn more? Of course. Wouldn’t everyone? But I’m not complaining because I earn a decent amount and my job suits my skills.
Nina
Yeah I have a direct report who would hate with a passion having to schmooze people. It’s not ideal, I think she should develop some of those skills, but shes very strong technically and thats a perfectly fine career path. People are different.
Anon
Totally agree. Worker bee is not a bad place. I get that it is solid and steady and even though it isn’t the biggest salary, I value solid and steady more many other things right now.
Anon
+1
I am a worker bee and I’m very happy with my job.
Anon
I am a worker bee. I’ve been told several times that I could and should shoot higher but I really enjoy my personal life and so I’m not willing to give that up for prestige. I also work in a pretty low paid field so I wouldn’t even be making the big bucks.
Yesterday I left work at 5 on the dot, met a friend and drove 35 minutes to a trail we like and went on an run and then grabbed dinner at a new restaurant near the trail head. After dinner I went to another friend’s house to watch the USWNT. I didn’t look at my phone once, which is priceless to me.
Monday
My life is also like this, but I’m a health care provider in solo practice. I do zero schmoozing because I have all the business I can handle (and a wait list). I’m making about the same money, or a bit more, as I did when I was employed, but working way fewer hours and on things that actually matter.
Peaches
It’s funny – there was an article in Slate recently where they interviewed people who had worked in NYC in the 90s/very early 2000s. A common thread was that when you left work, you left – no cell phones, very few personal computers at home. No one could find you, and you weren’t expected to answer emails at 9pm because … there were no emails.
Anon
This sounds amazing.
Anon
This sounds like an earlier era than the 90s to me? My dad was expected to have an at-home computer and printer in the 90s as well as a car phone (he was constantly on the phone in the car actually. He was in middle management at a non-tech company in a flyover state. And you can bet he was expected to answer the landline phone at home and then emails once internet was a thing.
Anon
But we were stuck waiting around for the FedEx truck to roll in and desperate to meet the deadlines and then sometimes had to drive to the one at the airport for the last loading-in time in our city. I don’t miss that. Also, I was stuck at my desk at work. Now, my job follows me around, which is good and bad, but I at least remember the bad of what used to be while I work remotely.
Anne-on
Omfg this triggers a horrid memory of being woken up at 5am because a salesperson I supported was presenting to a client in Turks & Caicos and the FedEx delivery with the decks hadn’t been made to the hotel yet. I literally had to figure out the headof the depot of FedEx in T&C and talk to the person there who personally delivered it to the office. God I hated that job.
Anonymous
Honestly schmoozing should not be considered a skillset, it’s just a holdover from the ole boys club. Competency and expertise are what matter
Anon
In some fields, though, there are lots of people who are equally competent. How do you find out which one you can have the most pleasant interactions with unless you meet them? I don’t like the idea of networking on the golf course or whatever, but being personable and drumming up business IS a skill that not everyone has.
Anonymous
Relating to people is important. We aren’t machines.
Anon
That also matters if you do hair or are called to the ministry or work in fundraising.
anon
Soft skills are also skills. Thinking that only competency and expertise matter will hold you back in most careers.
Anonymous
That’s definitely not true – think of schmoozing as being able to build connections between people. That’s an enormously important business skill, and without it, I’m not sure how much expertise and competence matter. You don’t even get to sit at the table.
Anon
Disagree. There’s a reason sales people exist in nearly every industry.
Competency and expertise can and should matter but would you rather go see the competent doctor with good bedside manner or the competent doctor that makes you feel bad about yourself and not want to go in for a checkup? Would you rather hire the competent but maybe less experienced lawyer to give you legal advice who seems to genuinely care about your business or the more experienced lawyer who only explains that you can’t do what you want and can’t offer other alternatives because he or she didn’t take the time to get to know you or your business.
It might not seem fair that these things matter but they do.
Anon
And IMO sales people get outsized compensation, but you can’t run a business without it. I didn’t plan to be in sales and used to joke about how smarmy and nasty sales people were. Now, I’ve been promoted to where my job and comp is 100% sales-based.
Anon
Yeah, I’ve seen this in many industries.
The people that develop the tech/medicine/whatever get paid moderately. The executives and sales people (who often don’t even really understand the tech) get paid disproportionally.
It’s the American, capitalistic way.
Anon
Nah, people skills are definitely important. I know there’s a subset of people who would rather never talk to another human being and conduct all communication via text or email, but it is actually important to be able to talk to people.
Anonymous
The problem is that you will age out of many worker bee jobs. Tech workers often find that happens when they hit 40.
Anon
My husband’s a worker bee. I feel like he sighed with relief when I told him years ago when he was struggling with a management position that maybe he was a worker bee. He changed companies and went back into a worker bee position and was much happier.
I have my own business and struggle with the worker bee part of it. It takes all kinds.
Anonymous
There are lots of ways to earn a good living. One of them is a good education and a lucrative career. But other people do really well with different skill sets. This board skews academic and there’s nothing wrong with that.
My dad, first gen college student, went to a really crappy college but got into the Xerox training program in the early 80s and ended up in the c-suite after a very lucrative sales career.
My brother never went to college. He is mid 40a and owns a lot of real estate. He didn’t get any family money, just worked restaurant jobs at night and at a mechanic during the day, flipped cars (bought repaired and sold), bought a multifamily fixer upper, lived in it with roommates, fixed it up, then eventually rented the whole thing out, used equity and profit to buy another, etc. His real estate assets are worth easily $4-5M. This is on Long Island, not a low cost of living area.
My husband has a family friend with an HVAC business worth $25M in the south. He never finished high school.
anon
One of my direct reports has one son in law school and one son in an associate’s degree/HVAC technician joint program, and I think it’s a toss-up who will have better lifetime earning potential.
anon
For real. A relative of mine is an electrician, and he makes BANK. Lives in a much nicer house and neighborhood than we do!
Senior Attorney
Yup. When we were on vacation in Greece this summer, we met up with our contractor (high school graduate) and his family for dinner in Athens before going our separate ways for our separate vacations. And their vacation was significantly longer and fancier than ours!
Anon
I wonder if my kids would be better off if I took their college fund and bought them a house with it and then sent them to any trade school they felt like they could be successful in. I have a feeling that getting a humanities BA from a SLAC is not where the $ is at (absent graduate school, but then you have years of not working + adding on debt, so unless you are a McKinsey or B4 or BigLaw partner or similar in the end, it’s likely not worth it or a crapshoot at best).
Senior Attorney
I think you may well be right! Certainly if the kid has an interest in and aptitude for one of the trades that would be a most excellent course of action!
Anonymous
I was the poster above with the brother out earning me…but as a counterpoint, I went to a SLAC and through a variety of jobs ended up as an SVP at a large coloration making a great living. My sister is a nurse and did a stint as a travel nurse where she made incredible money.
Know your kids. I’m so glad my parents didn’t force my siblings to follow my path.
Anon
So, in addition to my day job, I have a side-hustle business. I enjoy the side hustle and it’s nice to have something where I have complete autonomy over what I do and how I do it. However, the “hustle” part of the side hustle is exhausting. While I mostly just take work that comes my way via referrals, I do market myself somewhat (mainly through finding speaking engagements or sitting on panel discussion), and I also have to take care of the business end of the business – invoicing, chasing payment, making sure my business insurance is up-to-date, paying taxes, dealing with finicky or cantankerous clients or their business-office people, etc. I cannot imagine how stressful it would be for me to do this as my only income stream. I truly tip my hat to people who can make it work. My mortgage payment isn’t dependent on whether or not someone decides to pay my invoice; if it was, I couldn’t sleep at night.
The whole “work your way up from the bottom” thing is a nice story, but most entrepreneurs I know come from family money, or like Jeff Bezos, they made a lot of money in some kind of day job and then with a comfortable nest egg behind them, decided to go out on their own. And God bless them, because it’s not easy to leave behind the security of an organization where there’s someone else to handle the million little details of running a business. I completely understand why someone would want to be an equity partner in a firm vs. setting up their own shop: as a partner you don’t have to worry about branding, collections, health insurance, etc. Yes, there are people in law firms with great hustle but the logistics of running your own business can be exhausting – and I say that only having done it part-time!
Anon
I like the work of my side-hustle, but loathe the paperwork from it. And there is so much paper!
I shudder to think of running just one AirBNB where you have adequate licensing, legit honest financing, no deferred maintenance, full insurance, and full tax and employment law compliance.
Anonymous
Below is a terrible example. You can shoot for “owning a successful small business” not “being one of the wealthiest people in the world.”
My husband and I earn $450k combined in corporate jobs and live in a 1.5M house.
Our neighbors, same kind of home in, are two physical therapists that went out on their own and started their own chain, built from the ground up. No family money.
Anon
So why aren’t you and your husband running your own business, like your neighbors, if it’s just that easy?
Anonymous
I’m not saying it’s easy–nots sure where you got that. Neither is all the school work and slogging to get to our corporate jobs. my point is you don’t have to be Bezos or have family money to be an entrepreneur.
And honestly? if you don’t want to put in the work to be a high level exec AND you don’t want to put the work in to be an entrepreneur/ own your own business…then why is it such a problem to be a worker bee drawing a decent but not super high salary?
Anon
Right, but those doctorates in physical therapy are not so easy either.
Anon
There is a heavy is the head that wears the crown aspect for a lot of small business owners. The pandemic, health insurance costs keep rising, rent, credit, all of that. It is so stressful once you get one employee and being responsible for keeping the doors open because they rely on you to do that.
Anon
+1 My In-Laws were small business owners. And learning how much they spent on private health care year after year and navigating the challenges keeping multiple people employed, makes me appreciative to be a worker bee.
anon
It’s hard as hell, and not a life I’d ever want after seeing it firsthand. My parents and now brother are self-employed in the ag industry. It is hard work and from a business standpoint, it is incredibly complex. Not to mention the stress of wondering if a single bad storm will wipe out a season’s worth of work and potentially income. And this is why I have gravitated toward very stable jobs all my life. There is something to be said for being in a system.
Anon
My aunt and uncle closed their business and got other jobs because their healthcare costs were so high.
Anon
Just gonna say, if we want to fuel entrepreneurship and volunteerism in the United States, we would adopt Medicare for All and stop tying health insurance to employment. I know so many people in their 50s and early 60s who would start their own business, or retire and volunteer, if they could get affordable, comprehensive healthcare without having to be employed. Heck, I know a number of 30- and 40-year-olds who would love to work for themselves, but can’t do it because insurance on the exchange is so expensive.
Anon
Amen anon at 10:40
Anonymous
We need to regulate the health insurers, they spend our premiums on hiring massive staffs to tell us they won’t pay our claims.
Seventh Sister
Having national healthcare would also be a huge boon to childcare / kid-related businesses like day camps. I was on a preschool board and our healthcare costs were super high since we offered health insurance and had < 25 employees. It was the right thing to do, but it was very costly. And it wasn't great insurance and not everybody used it (the younger staff could stay on their parent's plans and some of the older staff had spouses with better plans).
Cornellian
Amen, 10:40. There is a reason Sweden has so many incredibly successful start ups, health insurance isn’t tied to your job so you can make bigger leaps and also become a boss with less work.
Anon
My farming relatives now all have worker bee jobs on top of farming or a spouse with good health insurance.
anon
My farming relatives spent years speculating how one of the families in town could just be farmers with no side hustles and buy new equipment. So much validation happened after there was a bust for one of their crops.
Seventh Sister
In the early 2000s, my mom was a pharmacist at a grocery store where the checkers were almost all the wives of contractors, electricians, etc. These women worked the absolute minimum hours required by the union to get the health insurance because their spouses couldn’t get a policy on the open market. I suspect that this has not changed much with Obamacare since the open market policies are generally more expensive than employer health insurance.
anon
Yes, Obamacare can be very expensive if you make a moderate or more income. It works well only if you are very low income, with low medical use and few medications. If you are very poor and you qualify for Medicaid that has the broadest and cheapest coverage.
HFB
My husband owns a small business with 23 employees and it can be really hard for all the reasons you said. one time when he was having a particularly difficult time with it i pointed out he doesn’t HAVE to do this; if he were to just close it down we can make the money work another way. and he looked me in the eyes and said “and, what, HBF? Just lay off 23 people and tell them to eff off?!”
Anon
That last sentence is where it really hits me. I used to have employees and they were so great that I worried for them more than me. But it was so anxiety producing that when they moved over the pandemic and other jobs I didn’t replace them because having employees is so stressful. I just opted to less and do it myself.
Anon
That is why I don’t want one employee! I used to manage 45+ people at my corporate job and now that I’ve hung out my shingle, I don’t want any staff at all!
Anonymous
Worker bees are great – the issue is when everyone expects to be compensated like a superstar.
Anon
The issue is that many worker bees (across industries, locations and job levels) are unable to buy houses (normal ones not 4000 sq Ft houses), save for the future while paying student loans, etc.
I have no pretenses of being rich but after paying my rent ($1300 for a studio) and pretty minor student loans ($250/mo), I’ve never been able to put away more than $200/month to savings. I work at a F50 company as a financial analyst.
*throughout the student loan pause I’ve continued to pay them down.
Anon
where do you live?
Anon
And do you have loans from school?
Anon
+1 have always had a “good job” and have never lived extravagantly (have traveled twice as an adult, car is 17 years old, had roommates until I was 28, clothes come from Old Navy, diy my beauty routine, cook 85% of my meals at home, clip coupons).
Since the pandemic I’ve barely been able to contribute to non-retirement savings because cost of living is very high and I make 76k a year with a degree and 8 years of work experience (and have always been in jobs that are commensurate with my education and experience; I’m not in a position that’s “below” my experience).
Both my former and current companies are household names run by multi multi millionaires and / or billionaires who make tens of millions of dollars a year.
Anon
I totally agree that the wage gap is out of control but your statement about living with roommates is an interesting question. I wonder how much of the housing crisis is partially attributable to the somewhat odd phenomenon of people wanting to and living alone. Even just 50-60 years ago it was way more common for people to live in multigenerational housing. That not only has an effect on saving on rent or a mortgage but also allowed people to pool other resources: splitting cost of utilities, sharing cars, TVs, tools, etc., plus saving time/money/energy on things like cooking and cleaning which could be shared in ways to save everyone overall time and money.
Anon
I honestly wanted to keep living with roommates but had a really hard time finding options. By my late 20s, my friends all live alone or live with significant others. I was open to the idea of an unknown to me roommate but it didn’t work out.
I lived at home for two stints in my early and mid 20s. It was fine but I didn’t want to keep doing it. All of my friends live downtown so it was hard socially.
50-60 years ago most people got married very young; there weren’t very many unmarried 30 year olds living with family! My mom is one of 4 girls; the older 3 got married within a month of college graduation and moved into apartments with their husbands. My mom is 12 years younger so a slightly different era. She moved back home after college for 2 years, rented an apartment with a friend for 1 year and got married at 25 and then moved into an apartment with my dad (who was living in an apartment with friends before they got married).
Anon
Sorry if you read this as an attack, it definitely was not! I was more commenting on the fact that there has been a ton of social change in the last 50-60 years which for all the reasons you noted are crunching housing in a way that is pretty unique to the world we are living in today. In your moms example, if that was today, her and their siblings (and husbands) all would have sought out their own apartments. That’s 8 apartments today versus 4 then. Needing double the housing units because how we live today has a huge effect on housing prices!
Anonymous
Studios where I’m at are like $1800, it’s really impossible to get ahead
Anon
This is a good point. I wrote about my worker bee husband above. We live in a VHCOL area and have a house but that’s because of what I do. If he were single or married to another worker bee, I’m not sure he/they could live in this at all.
AnonAnon
If you have successfully reformed poor money/financial habits, could you please share how you have done so (ie, therapy, closing credit card accounts, etc?)
I am closing in on 40 and recently cashed out my retirement savings in order to pursue a graduate degree that should allow me to earn at least $100k. My spending habits are poor, and I have often utilized credit cards and not paid off the balances on a monthly basis.
Basically, I need a wake-up call that if I continue in this path I will be facing a non-existent retirement and will not be meeting any of my lifestyle goals (travel, home renovations, etc.)
What did it take for you to change your ways and finally develop good financial habits if you weren’t “wired” to do so naturally?
Anon
Something that helps me prioritize saving is to follow personal finance accounts on Instagram or other platforms I waste too much time in anyway. My friends and family this it’s the weirdest thing. But seeing real people showing how they achieve financial goals gives me more motivation. I would highly encourage reaching out beyond typical Dave Ramsey folks. One of my top favorites is probably the “Personal Finance Club” account.
Anon
I don’t think this is weird at all; I do the same thing. It keeps my goals in front of me and top of mind, and provides motivation to stick to my goals.
Anon
Aww thank you for the reinforcement. I feel like one good example that made me realize consuming this content is important was after some co-workers a while back tried to mansplain to me all Roth IRA withdrawals in retirement are taxable income. I now honestly have a hard time taking them seriously at work because of it…My colleague was bragging that his daughter was living at home and pulling in lots of money from her new nursing and just putting it all directly into a savings account. I just simply suggested he might want to chat with her about putting in some money into a Roth IRA now while it’s convenient to give her more options down the road.
anon for this
YNAB budgeting software helped crystallize spending decisions in the moment. (E.g., if you want to spend $100 on a night out but only have $50 left in your entertainment fund, decide right there that you’d rather eat ramen for a week in order to do it). I was constantly thinking “it’ll work itself out” and it never did, because there’s no way to magically make money appear. I thought about my priorities (down payment, travel) and started allocating money to them each month.
I also invested time into low-cost hobbies, like more walks with friends, library books, etc. I kept a list of activities I could do for less than $20 in case I needed ideas. I scoured the events listings in my area for free events and went to concerts, happy hours, etc. I was very much living paycheck to paycheck 15 years ago and now have a substantial net worth. You can do it!
go for it
Ok, here goes….YMMV ……debtors anonymous was the answer for me to learn how to manage money and assess wants over needs. It also really helped be to use their suggested tools until I got a handle on things, one of which was to pay as much as possible in cash with real dollar bills. I have no problem swiping a credit card but plunking down cash was an eye opener. I wish you the best of luck in working this out for yourself.
Anonymous
Gently, I’d start with even the decisions you’re making now. You’ve just emptied out your retirement funds mid-career to chase a higher salary that you aren’t mentally prepared for (by which I mean, what’s going to stop you from overspending with a higher salary, now without any retirement savings?). Spending time figuring out WHY your financial habits are poor would yield more financial benefit to you. People don’t have to make $100k+ to retire.
Anon
I was thinking this too. If you haven’t started the grad program, I’d seriously rethink that. The people I know with the most debt and miserable financial lives went to grad school in their 40s. You’re much better off leaning into the career you have or getting a better job, not going back to school and starting over.
anon
Yup, cringed when I saw OP made that decision.
Lots of great advice here already. Kudos for recognizing the issue.
Anon
Or figuring out a side gig.
NYNY
Honestly, my financial habits got better when I started earning enough money to be able to have good habits. By the time I was 30 I had around $10K in credit card debt. I was ashamed of it, but I got there from spending on necessary things that I couldn’t afford. I would work to pay it down, but my income was variable and low, and I lived in a HCOL city.
Once I got to a place in my career that I could afford to pay off my debt, save for retirement, and sock away a solid emergency fund, I learned that my habits weren’t actually bad.
There is a lot of shaming around money. It sounds like you are doing your best to get to a better place financially, so think about whether you truly have poor spending habits or just not enough money.
Anon
All of this!!! So many “good” financial habits are for people who make a lot of money.
anon
+2 to this and moving past the shame around money. Being fiscally responsible when you are making 30k versus 200k are two very different things. In the first example, it can mean just being responsible enough that you have money for food and rent without having to eat peanut butter for dinner. Trust me. I know.
Anony
The decision to cash out your retirement savings, at age 40, is an example of your poor money habits. How much does this graduate degree cost? Unless it is a really small amount which I doubt it is, this is not a good idea. Even if you took school loans it is probably a better idea because of lower interest rates (I think; I have no idea what they are right now) and potential loan forgiveness (govt or career based like non-profits).
AnonAnon
OP here-thanks for the replies and feedback so far. I agree that my decision to cash out my retirement savings was quite unwise, but it’s done now. Thankfully, the student loans I accrue through this grad program will be paid off in exchange for a 3-year commitment in an agency that I’d need to stay with regardless for that timeframe to gain my independent licensure. I had previously been in public education and had reached burnout. Will definitely check out DA’s and I think credit cards are my main problem (besides now having minimal retirement savings.)
Anonymous
Credit cards aren’t the problem. Buying things is the problem. You need to make a real budget and then stick to it. You can eat rice and beans now or when you’re 80 and can’t afford anything else.
Go for it
Hmm, as a recovering compulsive spender if you tell me I am on a budget I will buy the internet tonite; however if you say I have a spending plan I can adhere to it.
Anonymous
Yes, this. Credit cards are just the tool you’re using to make bad spending decisions. And no decision is set in stone. It sounds like you’re about to commit yourself to more debt, for multiple years. That’s the opposite of freedom. Are their jobs you could do today without going back to grad school while you work on your finances? I bet a refund is possible.
Anon
This is where YNAB helped me tremendously. I was doing what they called “the credit card float” where I’d spend money in my checking account and on my credit cards. Then pay off the card with my paychecks and oops I don’t have enough in my account for what I want/need so back to the cards.
YNAB helped me get out of that cycle because I now think about what to spend on in advance and only allocate the money as it comes in—not allocating my future paycheck to cover the cards. I can’t recommend it highly enough. The program is one that you have to interact with frequently for it to do the most good, but I also think that’s probably a good thing to make sure that prudent money management is at the top of your mind every day.
Anon
So you took your retirement savings AND are taking student loans for this grad program? If you are determined to do this grad program you need to tighten your belt as much as possible during the grad program, and after. This means working (even full time) during the grad program, consider less expensive living options (apartment vs house? roommate? lower COL location?) and spend only on necessary items (needs not wants) if you want to get out of debt and start saving again, for retirement and your lifestyle goals.
Senior Attorney
I did this many years ago when thing got so intolerable that it was either shape up or face disaster. This was in the early oughts when there were a lot of personal finance web sites and so on and I took advantage of all of the advice out there.
If you are looking for the wake up call, here it is: If you continue on the path you’re on, you won’t be able to retire or have the life you want.
This is what I did:
Stopped using the credit cards, period.
Built up a smallish emergency fund so I wouldn’t have to use the credit cards.
Paid off the existing balances using the “snowball method” (you can google it)
Instituted sinking funds for irregular but predictable expenses like holidays, property taxes, car expenses, etc., again so I wouldn’t have to use the credit cards
Tracked every single dime in and out of my accounts (I still do that to this day, 20-plus years later)
And it’s B.S. that you are or are not “wired” to be responsible with your money. It’s a life skill you can learn (assuming, as others have pointed out above, that your income is sufficient). Honestly having turned my finances around is one of the things I’m most proud of in my life! And here I am within weeks of retiring with a nice nest egg — yay!
Anon
Very good, detailed advice from SA (as usual).
Anonymous
Are you currently working full time? If grad school is really important to you, can you go part time and use your company’s tuition reimbursement program if available?
Anon
Live like a student while you are in school.
No eating out.
No buying anything.
Take public transportation.
Live with roommates.
Start thinking about every purchase.
I am not a fan of Dave Ramsey, but listen to a few episodes of his podcast just to get a voice into your head about how to pay off your debt, and make basic, better financial decisions.
And also…. give yourself a break. You had a job for many years with potentially amazing retirement benefits (which I hope you are still eligible for….and can grow), but not a huge income, and it sounds like you were doing this as a single woman. It is hard. It can be frustrating when you want just simple luxuries in your life. And unfortunately, it is very easy to make mistakes when you didn’t grow up with good financial role models around you.
Now you know. It isn’t too late. But you need to buckle down.
Good luck with your program. I am hoping it will open up doors in education where you can grow your retirement benefits.
Anon
This is kind of like someone saying she wants to know how to be a good wife, but she’s not gonna give up her man on the side. The deed is done, you have no retirement savings, and you’re spending $$$ on a grad program. So see it through, but you’re going to have to live like a nun for a while. No “treat yo self” moments. Remember that grad school IS the treat. Cook your own food. No DoorDash. Credit cards are for emergencies only. Don’t carry one with you. Don’t load up Apple Pay on your phone. Don’t store your credit card number on your computer.
Agree with the other advice to read up on budgeting – do this for free, don’t go buy a book – and look for ways to cut your monthly bills.
Anonymous
forget “no door dash”. You are in “get a job while you are in grad school” territory. That’s what I did- a full time job and full time grad school. I was 25 and terrified of debt. Grad school isn’t that hard. You have a lot of free time.
Anon
I know he’s not popular here, but I read one of Dave Ramsey’s basic books early in my married life. Reading all of the real-life stories of people who had gotten out of debt was inspiring and instructional. I also used to listen to his radio show when it was on a local station during my drive home. It’s repetitive after a while because his answers are always the same, but that does not mean they do not work.
Anonymous
Can you put your retirement saving back asap! This is a terrible idea at age 40 to spend your retirement savings plus the tax consequences could be huge. Yikes. Get professional help with your money.
Anonymous
I think that’s what hit a nerve with all those negative responses yesterday. All the worker bees who really do work extremely hard and make sacrifices in their personal lives for work think it’s not fair. They will never be the equity partner or whatever the top position is because it’s not the best worker bee who gets to the top. It’s a different skill set entirely. No shade intended here. I am the stereotypical worker bee. Just an observation from decades in the workforce.
anon
And to be clear, it’s not exactly fair. But, that is unfortunately how things work.
Anon
I temper this with a sense that, in historical terms, I am still very fortunate. I have hypothyroidism, so that was caught via newborn blood testing and I got proper Medicare and started on synthroid the first week I was alive. That let me have normal brain development. 100 years ago, I would maybe needed institutionalized care if I hadn’t died of the flu or cholera or something g else. My mom is rH negative and I was kid 3, so I’m lucky she had the medical care of a blood test and rhogan shot that let her have a normal pregnancy and all of my siblings been born healthy. I could go on, but I got to have choices and more choices and if I am really unhappy, I can make other choices. I can’t make everything fair but I have options in this life and a sense of gratitude for that.
Anon
I think what was missing is how much a business owner works all the time – weekends, holidays, middle of the night. I know I do. So if I have some flexibility during the day it’s because I’m paying for it later. I’m not the OP of that thread but I am a business owner, and before that I was a corporate high level employee with a lot of flexibility who hadn’t taken a vacation without conference calls in 10+ years.
Anon
Then the worker bees had a fundamental misunderstanding of the kind of work they think they’re resentful of.
Anon
Agree.
Car Maintenance
I bought a brand new car Jan 1 2021. I just hit 35k miles. I will need new tires soon-ish and then a slew of just regular maintenance either now or at 40k. This is the first new-new car I’ve purchased in my life so I’m trying to figure out how to balance dealership service vs my trusted local mechanic.
I feel like I was told once upon a time that taking a car for service anywhere but the dealership could void warranties. But once you are clear of your warranties, you can take it where ever you want as the risk is gone. Is any of that true? If true, does that apply to tires?
It’s a Lexus fwiw and I’ve only had it serviced at the dealership to date. Just wondering if there is an inflection point where I don’t need to have it serviced there, or if there’s some other practical advice the Wise Hive may have for me. I plan on driving this thing in to the ground. Dealership service is way more expensive than my local mechanic, hence the question. TIA!
Sidebar: I feel like 35-40k and needing new tires already is a major scam. I have run-flats which I’ve bene told wear faster, but man one of my tires looks totally bald. I’m in New England and debating if I should just do it before the winter to be safe.
Anon
I just read an article about the tire thing! Electric and heavier vehicles run through tires faster, though I also wonder if you maybe have an alignment issue, as 35k does seem like too soon to go through tires, unless you’re driving on really bad roads or very aggressively.
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2023/07/electric-vehicles-tires-wearing-out-particulates/674750/
Anonymous
35-40k does seem on the low side (I think usually they say 50-60k), but if one’s already looking bald, yea, I’d replace it before winter to be safe. I take my car to the dealership for everything EXCEPT tires (and state-mandated inspections). Tires I get at Discount Tire or Costco and they’ve been fine.
Anon
That depends on the terms of your warranty. Your best bet is to look through the paperwork.
Replace a bald tire now. It’s not even about “before the winter;” a bad rain storm could cause a problem.
anon
Check the details of your warranty to see if it would be voided by doing to a non-dealer mechanic. I have a Honda and take it to the dealership because they are trustworthy and my husband has a friend that works there who is always honest with us about what work is needed.
You should be getting regular oil changes. Once you get into the 100K range, things like the timing belt and water pump will need to be replaced.
Formerly Lilly
It could be the type of tire and maybe you need to change. I had a high-performance Jetta that came with high-performance tires and those things were good for 30k max. My ex and I used to joke that they left more than a bit of themselves on the road as we drove. For real though, they were somehow softer rubber (or whatever) and gripped better. A lot better. I’m no longer in a high-performance car and have normal thoughp good tires. I no longer buy a set of tires every 18 months.
Anonymous
Regarding the warranty thing, you can get non-dealership mechanics to work on your car, you just need written documentation of what was done and by whom (the itemized receipt is usually good for this). If you go to a random person who works on cars as a hobby that will void your warranty, but Joe’s garage down the street is fine.
go for it
+1
Anonymous
My understanding is that having car serviced at somewhere other than dealership won’t void the warranty however if you have damage from faulty repairs it may not be covered. Check out Moss Magnuson Warranty Act.
Anon
First – are you a Costco member? Then get your tires there.
Great deals, sales all the time, free tire rotations etc…
And Costco has an auto program, that if you sign up for, will tell you which Lexus dealers that do repairs in their areas participate. Then before you need to go for your oil change/service visit, visit the Costco auto program site and they will give you a coupon for 15% off all repairs/service for certain Lexus dealers (or toyota dealers) near you.
Honestly, what can you afford? If you can afford a Lexus (in my world, that means you paid cash…), then you should keep up with the manufacturer’s recommendation service. Look at the book that came with the car, do the oil changes within the time and/or mileage recommended using the oil they recommend and follow their maintenance recommendations by mileage/time. Sounds like you drive a lot, so it may be pricey.
I recommend following the discussion Forums at clublexus.c0m for your specific model/year Lexus. They are awesome. Post questions there – just like here – about anything. I always checked there after the dealer/repair place recommended something to see if it seemed reasonable/what it should cost/can I fix it myself. They will tell you the essentials you need to fix when, what you can do yourself, what should go to the dealer, what you can do for cheap at the local mechanic.
I am starting to realize that unless you know an amazing, trustworthy mechanic, if you splurge to buy a luxury car, you are often stuck to relying on the dealer to be sure that you get good quality repairs, with the correct parts
My parents bought their Lexus, which is a great and very reliable car, for a great price by buying it a couple years old from the dealer. It had the same mileage that yours had now, when they bought it, with a full manufacturer’s warranty. And what surprised me, was my Dad then went and researched extended warranties. These are the things that they try to sell you when you buy any car/large appliance these days, and generally they aren’t worth it. But honestly, so many large electrical goods are made so poorly these days (!) that they don’t last anymore. Or parts aren’t made as well, and they break. Or you drive a lot, so things wear out soon. Our you live in a place with a lot of salt/snow so more things wear etc… So sometimes these warranties…. if you can afford them …. are actually worth it.
They aren’t worth it when you buy them from the dealer. They overcharge.
They are worth it when you search online from private sellers.
My Dad bought one from some random company…. it paid for itself the first year it started! And because it covered repairs at the dealer with Lexus parts, my Dad enjoyed doing all the service at the Lexus dealer, where he sipped coffee and surfed the internet, and they washed his car and / or gave him a free loaner car while repairs were being done.
OP
Thanks everyone. To be clear, I can “afford” the dealership – affordability is not the issue. I’d just much rather pay less and support my local guy, who is excellent, than pay upcharges to Goliath National Bank’s dealership equivalent in my metro area. Also, I’ve maintained this car and all cars exactly as needed – regularly oil changes, rotations, recommended service etc.
Good intel on clublexus… I’ll take a peek there.
anon
If you have an excellent local guy, then that is always great. But be aware — he will not want to use Lexus replacement parts for repairs/maintenance, as they are more expensive and he wants to save you money and make more money himself. Most independent car repair people do not tell you that they are substituting parts. You have to ask, and even then they can be evasive, and even if you tell them to use Lexus parts they lie and don’t! It happened to me. Non-brand prices are referred to colloquially as “after-market” parts. Many times they are fine, and the save you money. They are what I will use for some of my Toyota Prius parts. But it is true that non-Lexus parts will sometimes have different warranties, so you have to ask for the warranty for that specific replacement part to be given to you after the work is done, and documented on the paperwork from the repair place. They almost never do this, unless you ask for it. When you do your work at the dealer, since all parts are Lexus, the warranties are known.
I still support you using the local repair guy and that’s what I do with my Prius. Just make sure he is a Lexus expert with good reviews for that. And even sometimes with my Prius, I bring it to the dealer and/or make sure I get Prius parts. For example, when my catalytic converter was stolen (!), I had to insist it be replaced with Prius parts because I’m moving to California. California has among the most stringent emissions testing requirements, and if I had a non-Prius (aftermarket) catalytic converter in my car, they would have failed me and I would have had to replace it for another 3 or 4,000 dollars! The Prius online forum helped me in that situation. I would have never known, if not for looking there.
And if you really want to keep the car forever, over the next year glance around online (and at clublexus) to see if an extended warranty is the right thing for you. You want to buy it before you need it, to get the best price.
Anonymous
Read your warranty, but typically warranties are not voided as long as the work is done by a mechanic with a certain certification. I can’t recall what letters make up that certification, but typically if you go to a real local mechanic shop they will have a sign confirming that certification in plain view. You can also call or check their website to confirm before going in. They will advertise it.
anon
Hi All – have any hotel recs for New York City? We’re taking our kids up from DC in October to see the Harry Potter play and visit the HP museum and need a place to stay. Quick searches are showing places for around $400 a night, a little pricey, but im sure thats the norm for nyc. I would love recs on where to stay and other things to do, it will be the first time in nyc for the kids. We’re planning to be there for two nights, kids are 6 and 9. I’d like to take them on the ferry to see the statue of liberty, but they also tire out pretty easily, esp my 6 year old. We’d like to see the play but could maybe skip the hp museum for the ferry trip. ok, rambling here – open to all feedback on our itinerary!
Anon
I first went to NYC around that age and the moments that stand out in my mind are seeing Central Park, the Statue of Liberty, and the World Trade Centre (obviously not an option now but go to the top of One World Trade – it’s incredible).
Anon
I would not climb the Statue of Liberty with a 6 year old who tires easily. It’s quite a hike. Seeing it from the Staten Island ferry (free) should be good.
anon.
Intrepid and AMNH!
Anonymous
My kid loves staying in Times Square for the lights, the stores, the people…it wouldn’t be my first choice if I were on my own, but it makes her so happy. we go to shows a couple of times a year, and it is nice to stay near the theater. She gets a kick out of walking around after the show and checking out everything that’s going on. I usually just go with whatever hotel has decent reviews and I can find a deal on under $300). Most recently we stayed at Hotel Riu and it was totally fine. We have also gotten lucky with good deals at the Marriott Marquis.
For other activities, she recently enjoyed the Color Factory.
NYCer
The Beacon Hotel on the UWS is a decent, not crazy expensive option for families. The rooms are good sized by NYC standards, and there is a great super market (Fairway) across the street. Also easy access to lots of subways and Central Park.
As for what else to do, I would definitely go to the top of one of the tall buildings. We went to the Empire State Building with my kids in the spring, and it exceeded expectations. The last time I had been was 30 years ago.. The Freedom Tower, the Edge and Top of the Rock would all be fine too. I would definitely plan to spend some time in Central Park. There is a fun playground in the park with a cool long slide on the east side at 65th Street. There are many other fun playgrounds too though.
NYCer
And if you’re looking for kid friendly museums, I would suggest the Intrepid and/or the Natural History Museum.
Anonymous
I would consider skipping the Statue of Liberty and doing the Staten Island Ferry (free!) instead because the Statue of Liberty now involves a lot of waiting in line for security screenings, and you don’t have a lot of time. Plus there isn’t actually that much to see on the island unless you can get tickets to go up in the crown (book way ahead). If you can do that, it is extremely cool, but it will kill a large part of a day. The Natural History Museum is popular for kids those ages, but the one in DC is probably nicer, so you might want to skip it. The younger one especially might enjoy the Transit Museum. I would try to allow more downtime than you think you will want to do things like people watch and hang out at playgrounds in Central Park. The Central Park zoo is great yet compact. Before or after the play, you might stop at Schmackary’s on 9th Avenue for cookies. If you need a fairly quick meal near the theater, Schnippers is better than Shake Shack and usually is much less crowded and has a nicer dining area.
Anonymous
Stay in a hotel closest to where you want to do most of your activities. That way you don’t waste precious energy time on cabbing/ubering places and can easily get back for a nap. Prices will be higher in ideal location but in my opinion it’s worth it once you factor in walking most places instead of ubering.
Anonymous
I agree about thinking about location but please, take the subway! You don’t need to use cabs or uber everywhere.
Anonymous
For work trips, I almost always stay at the Arlo Soho, where the rooms are TINY but the prices are cheap and the location is good (near the 1 line). Could you get two connecting rooms there? I think they might also have bunk options. There’s a rooftop bar and you’re near a great bakery/ coffee shop as well as a short walk from the park along the Hudson.
With kids, I’ve stayed at the Smyth Tribeca and the Conrad in Battery Park, both using points. Also good options, but more expensive.
Anonymous
I have a dumb question. If I schedule my credit card payment to pay the full balance on a date in the future, does it pay the balance amount on date I set the payment, or the balance amount on the date the payment is scheduled to go through? It seems like it should be the latter, but I’m not sure.
Anon
This question is confusing but when I pay my Amex, it shows immediately on the account that I paid even if the ACH takes another day or two.
Anon
It should go through on whatever date you selected for payment. Say that your bill is due on August 15 and today you log in to the online system and set the payment for August 10. It will be processed and debited from your bank account on August 10.
Anon
It matters whether it’s a “push” vs. a “pull” payment. Push being one you schedule out from your bank’s website – you would put in a specific dollar amount and it would not have visibility to your CC balance at the agreed upon date, just the amount you scheduled vs a pull being one you coordinate through your credit card platform and direct it to take from your bank account. If it’s a pull payment, it should have been clear or been an option directly when you were on your CC platform and scheduled the payment.
Anne-on
This. My work AmEx payment is a pull, my payment for my personal card is a push.
AIMS
You should be able to schedule both the amount and the date – there is a difference between full balance on the statement and full balance when you make payment. I always pay the full balance on the statement, your balance since statement isn’t due until that next statement date.
Anonymous
Some of these answers are no responsive to your question. In your shoes, I would set the payment to pay the “last statement balance” on a date before payment on that statement is due. You will know what that amount is and anything charged after that statement is issued will matter not at all to what the scheduled payment amount is. Since you only get hit with interest on items on the statement, this is the best way to avoid interest and have certainty about how much is coming out of your bank account on the scheduled payment date.
Anonymous
Yup this one.
Vicky Austin
Thanks for all the vibes on my interview yesterday – I feel like it went really well! Now to hurry up and wait.
go for it
clap clap clap!!!
Senior Attorney
Woo hoo!!
Shopping Help
Anyone want to help me shop for two looks?
1 – maternity / family photos, now, outdoors, real hot
2 – newborn photos, later in the fall, indoors
Will probably wear a dress for 1, could do either dress or blouse / jeans for 2. Size 12 pre pregnancy. Need some inspiration!
Anon
Me! These are all pleated, which may not be your thing but I found pleats to be really accommodating to my fluctuating sizes and flattering post pregnancy. I wore similar for my pics and they photographed well. I think these colors are soft and neutral enough for you to coordinate your family members too.
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.1179934005.html
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.1185841002.html
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.1048735002.html
https://www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.1146415007.html
Anon
More with color and pattern, harder to coordinate but still pretty
https://www.asos.com/us/asos-maternity/asos-design-maternity-off-shoulder-twist-bardot-maxi-dress-in-sage/prd/204692071?clr=sage-green&colourWayId=204692073&cid=8343
The texture could look good- https://www.asos.com/us/asos-maternity/asos-design-maternity-fluffy-shoulder-pad-v-neck-tiered-midi-dress-in-pistachio/prd/203061688?clr=pistachio&colourWayId=203061689&cid=8343
https://www.asos.com/us/asos-maternity/asos-design-maternity-button-up-pintuck-maxi-dress-with-lace-inserts-in-large-pink-floral-print/prd/204180091?clr=large-pink-floral&colourWayId=204180092&cid=8343
https://www.asos.com/us/hope-ivy-maternity/hope-ivy-maternity-flutter-sleeve-wrap-midi-dress-in-cream-floral/prd/203990634?clr=cream-floral&colourWayId=203990635&cid=8343
anon
I went on a run this morning. It was 82 degrees at 5:30 am with high humidity. I’m acclimated to running in warm weather, but this was next level. Felt fine during my run and backed off a bit on distance and refueled afterward. Unfortunately, now I feel absolutely wrecked for the day and am so tired. Any thoughts on how to rebound? I may need to chug a Gatorade or something.
Anon
The answer is boring: sodium and potassium. In addition to Gatorade, consider something like salty peanuts with a lot of water.
Anon
+1
In fact, whenever we get dehydrated with illness, we drink pedialyte, which is better than gatorade for rehydration (we use G2 or powerade zero for less sugar). And of course, it is what doctor’s recommend during illness that cause diarrhea/severe vomiting/dehydration. There are generic formulations of pedialyte, which are cheaper, and you can buy it as a powder. Still terribly overpriced. But sports drinks are really important if you are a big exerciser, especially as you get older.
It is really common with aging to develop slightly low blood sodium levels all the time. And low sodium is sometimes a side effect of common medications, like SSRIs. So it is really important for people that have this, or as you get older, to rehydrate with a mixture of water and fluids that contain salts.
A lot of people are going to start dying as the world is heating up from heat related / dehydration related issues. When you exercise and feel poorly after – rest, drink drink drink with salts, and eat. Check your blood pressure.
anon
OP here, and now I feel really dumb. I’ve been on an SSRI for ages and I never knew that it can affect sodium levels! I am in my early 40s; it’s quite possible that I need to change up my strategy for heavy exercise days.
Anon
Don’t feel dumb. How would you know? This is not something doctors tell you, unfortunately.
We all change a bit as we get older, and when we are healthy normal 40’s year old women, we still feel/look young and healthy. But we are changing more rapidly then we realize (some of us even younger) and we just need to be more aware. It is easier to injure ourselves/our joints/our bones. It can take longer/more to recover. Our hormones are sometimes changing and working against us. Our doctors don’t warn us and most changes (even when we notice them) don’t seem significant enough that we even mention them to our doctors.
So we learn from each other. nice.
And, it’s getting hot out there….
Anon
How did you fuel and hydrate before, during, and after your run?
In heat and humidity you have to be really on top of hydration and fueling. In heat and humidity I always run with water, even if I’m only going on a short run. I then make sure I have an electrolyte drink and chocolate milk after my run for recovery.
I also always always run with a baseball cap on and plan shaded routes.
anon
OP here. When I run first thing in the morning, I usually run on an empty stomach. I took water with me during my run. Afterwards, I drank tons of water and ate a whole wheat English muffin with banana and peanut butter. Guessing it was my sodium level that got out of whack.
anon
Water, a lot of it. Never been a fan of full calorie gatorade so I normally dilute it about half with water – better approximates the watered down stuff I got in practice. Also, pedialyte makes popsicle like the mr. freeze ones your had as a kid. These are great for summer runs. But, as someone who runs in Houston you probably have a touch of heat exhaustion, if you are feeling rough now, the only solution is to stay hydrated today and listen to your body.
Anon
It is important to have the salts. So important. Sports drinks. Water alone, when you are severely dehydrated, can be dangerous.
Anon
So diluting it by half means you should drink twice as much!
i run a lot
Electrolytes! I’m a big fan of 50/50 coconut water and regular water with some extra salt and lemon or lime juice.
Anonymous
Yes obviously you need a Gatorade! And a cold ahower
Anon
Hydrate! Currently drinking a nuun water after my morning run. 82 degrees at 5:30am is brutal though!!
Anne-on
I started buying the clif bloks/energy chews for this reason (migraines/POTS for me and heat exhaustion for my kid in summer camp). He and I simply can’t hydrate enough with water and the chugging the electrolyte multiplier supplements/gatorade makes me feel queasy and will sometimes make him throw up because of the salty taste/volume of water. The black cherry ones are my favorites.
Anne-on
In moderation for brand names but look into ‘energy chews’ – I can stomach these much better than the drink mix ins or lots of gatorade. Obviously drink water too but they help avoid the overly full/sloshy stomach feeling and the (imho super gross) salty aftertaste of most of the drinks.
Anon
When you sweat in high heat/humidity, you lose salts and minerals along with water. So yes, chug a Gatorade, and then drink water and some kind of hydration drink in a 1:1 ratio for the rest of the day. This is why rehydration drinks exist: you need to replenish other things besides just water after heavy exercise in hot weather.
Anon
When it’s that hot out I put a pinch of salt in my water bottle. Make sure you’re drinking during your workout. They also make electrolyte pills if you want to avoid those sugary packets post run.
Anon
Head to your local fast food joint for an order of fries and a Powerade/Gatorade. Whataburger has blue Powerade in the fountain, so you can get as much as you want /need
I’m a longtime FL runner and would rather be hot than get up early most of the time. The times I overdo it, this is my go-to for getting rehydrate and my BP back up.
Anonymous
One other thing I learned recently – sweating a lot can exacerbate low ferritin levels, which a lot of women runners deal with anyway. So you may need some extra iron. https://www.themotherrunners.com/low-iron-in-runners/
Anon
How did you fuel and hydrate before, during, and after your run?
In heat and humidity you have to be really on top of hydration and fueling. In heat and humidity I always run with water, even if I’m only going on a short run. I then make sure I have an electrolyte drink and chocolate milk after my run for recovery.
I also always always run with a baseball cap on and plan shaded routes.
Anon
I try to run before work to avoid the heat and humidity in the evening. It was about 75 this morning and will be about 87 this evening. If I’m running for longer than 6 miles I don’t rely on water. I’ll bring something like Gatorade or nuun. I’ll also use gu during my long runs. As far as fueling pre run I’ll try to eat a banana then make breakfast when I get home.
FormerlyPhilly
I want to learn how to ice skate… for pleasure, not looking to be a figure skater. I am 40. I found a “learn to ice skate” program for teens and adults at a reputable rink near my home. Those of you who learned to ice skate later in life, did you purchase knee pads, elbow pads, wrist pads, helmet, etc. protection until you felt comfortable on skates? I am willing to make the investment… just not sure if it’s overkill.
I can roller-skate, if that matters.
Anon
I don’t think you really need anything for the first few lessons, beyond the ice skates themselves. Ice skates you buy will be better than rentals, if that’s important to you. If you’re going to be doing something more tricky or skating quickly I’d maybe get a helmet, but at first any falling you’ll be doing should be pretty slow and controlled.
Anon
I was a child figure skater and taught these classes as a teenager and young adult. It’s probably overkill for a 40 year old. If you were post menopausal it might be worth it because post-menopausal women tend to break bones very easily. You’ll likely pick it up quickly if you can roller skate.
anonmi
I’ve done a few sessions of learn to skate recently in my 40s at our local rink. Both of my kids and my husband play hockey, so I wanted to improve my ice skating skills. I also grew up roller skating, and I felt like that helped with my basic balance and ability to at least move forward across the ice. Ice skating is very, very different than roller skating, though. You will probably have enough basic skating skills that you’ll be able to skate fast enough to want some pads for when you fall. You are more likely to fall backwards, especially if you’re wearing hockey skates, which have shorter blades.
For learn to skate, I wore thin volleyball type knee pads, padded shorts with hip and tailbone padding, and a hockey helmet. You can also wear a bike helmet. Some people in the class wore no pads at all, and some wore full pads. Sometimes you get people who show up wearing hockey gear.
Before you buy skates, I’d recommend trying both hockey and figure skates to figure out which is easier for you to skate in. I initially bought figure skates, which I used for a couple sessions, but once I tried hockey skates, I realized that I prefer them.
Anonymous
I might wear wrist guards at first, but probably wouldn’t bother with anything else.
Anonymous
Definitely wear a wrist guard and helmet. I might forgo knee pads.
Anon
What I would worry the most about is your ankles. You aren’t 15 anymore, and that is probably the most vulnerable joint. Make sure you learn how to properly size/wear the skates to support your ankles.
And have fun!
Anon
Wear a helmet.
Anonymous
Do you want to be competent or like, skate for exercise?
You’ll be fine learning to skate in a few lessons if you can rollerblade.
Anon
I’d buy a hemet for sure.
Anon
You can’t buy a pad for what can be the most excruciating injury: landing on your tailbone. You’ll definitely fall at least once as you learn, so be prepared.
Anonymous
Yes you can! They are called “crash pads” and are basically padded bike shorts. I took up figure skating in my early 20s and would sometimes wear them for confidence if I noticed that I was being timid with speed or turns.
Anonymous
City balcony gardeners- what do you do with potting soil when you need to freshen it? Pretty sure my giant tomato pot has a fungus, so I want to get rid of the soil and replace it, but what do I do with the old soil? Put it in a couple garbage bags so it’s not as heavy? That feels really wasteful but it’s also very heavy so it’s not like I can just lug it somewhere else. And I don’t really have anywhere to dump it either.
AIMS
Could you compost it? Lots of places in NY have compost collection now and I think many green markets around the country do too.
Anon
There are a couple of ways you can sterilize soil. Depending on the amount of light you get on your balcony, you might be able to do it out there, but it seems like a bigger hassle than getting rid of it and starting over.
https://theyardandgarden.com/how-to-sterilize-soil/
Anon
Can I ask, what is the problem with your tomato plant? What do you see?
This is my first year growing tomatoes, and they are together in one raised bed, and each plant seems to have a different problem…. one with leaves curling…. one with leaves turning yellow and sickly …. one with tomatoes appearing but never ripening…..
The idea of repotting them is impossible, so I’m curious what your problem is / and how it looks!
It’s hard to be a gardener :)
Anonymous
Blossom end rot.
Anon
Luckily, that’s not a fungal issue. It’s from inconsistent watering. Sometimes we see it if we get torrential downpours, as the excess water prevents the plants from being able to take up calcium in the soil. There are products like Rot Stop if your soil is calcium deficient, in case maybe your potting soil had been used for a few seasons.
anon
Yes, this. Blossom end rot is a calcium issue. I successfully fixed this one year by adding a supplement to my pots and subsequent fruits were fine even that same year.
If I need to get rid of soil from my balcony,I put it in a yard waste bag and dispose as my city instructs. Mostly I tend to take a little of the old soil out when I am planting in the spring/removing dead plants before winter. Then in the spring I mix in compost and new potting soil and fertilizer to bring it back up to normal level without complete replacement. Seems to work ok!
Anon
What do you mean by a fungus? You may not need to replace soil, if you haven’t already tried improving air circulation. There are also diseases like Tomato Brown Rugose Virus that were in some growers’ seeds this year, like Fruition, so it’s possible that your plant is just done for.
Anon
You do need to replace potting soil as all the nutrients get used up. Let it go completely dry and then either haul it out yourself or put a little in your regular garbage every week.
Anonymous
SOS I have terrible posture and work a desk job. Pec muscle stretches that my masseuse recommended aren’t fixing – does anyone have any other ideas? Do those posture keeper necklaces work? I will take any suggestions. Thanks!
Anonymous
Think exercises that strengthen your core like yoga and Pilates, and things that strengthen your upper back like swimming.
Anon
A good friend is a physical therapist and says that poor posture means your pec muscles are too tight and your back muscles are too stretched out. So what you want to do is tighten your back muscles (via exercises like squeezing your shoulder blades together– good form is important here, make sure to keep your shoulders all the way down, not up by your ears) and stretch your pec muscles. By just stretching your pecs you’re only doing half the equation, which is why it’s not working.
I have terrible posture naturally but by working on these things (and doing a ton of rows in my weight lifting program) I’ve gotten a lot better. There’s no quick fix, unfortunately. All those products seem to be gimmicks IMO.
Anon
Good advice here.
Optimize your work ergonomics. Do you have a great desk chair that allows you to sit upright with good back support? Are your computer screens at the right height so you are looking straight ahead? etc… Do you have a company ergonomics expert who can come in an optimize your work station?
You need to stretch your pecs aggressively (several times a day) and strengthen your upper back. This will help you maintain good posture (chin up, shoulders back, chest out). Strengthen your core. This will keep you from slouching in the chair, which encourages you to curl your upper back more.
Stop the mindless (meaning you aren’t thinking about your posture….) phone surfing sitting in a chair/couch with bad neck/back position. It is better to sit up, chin up, in a good chair. No one does it. Everyone is developing poor posture/weak core earlier in life because of this, with accompanying early arthritis, back pain etc… nevermind the weight gain from less activity/more sedentary lives.
Think about a short Physical therapy or occupational therapy visit/program or 2 to get their recommendations and a home exercise program. Or start yoga/pilates… looking for free videos online for routines for improving posture/core strength.
You aren’t the only one. Good for you for trying to fix it.
NY CPA
I’ve never had better posture than when I was in PT for a shoulder dislocation because all I did was work on shoulder and back strength. Those exercises were SO good for posture. Think rowing pulls will elastic bands (which causes you to squeeze your shoulder blades). And Anon @ 11:39 is right that good form is critical, as is forcing yourself to have good posture at least when you’re doing the exercises.
slouchy
I have been doing more abdominal and core exercises and that has helped. I use the Nike Training app and just filter by type. There are probably also specific workouts aimed at this (which reminds me that I should go look for those!).
Anon
Do you do any exercise? Strength training, pilates, and more will help posture.
My posture is significantly better from it. To get good results, it would need to be a concerted effort. I had good results exercising for two days in a row and then taking a rest day, so about 5 days a week.
Midwest beach vacay ideas
I would love your recommendations for a favorite Midwest beach vacation. We’re looking for a short getaway in August. We’ve been to St Joe’s in Michigan and loved it, it was just so crowded. traveling with 2 kiddos, one under 5. Looking to stay within 4 hours of Chicago. thanks!
Anon
South Haven is nice. Generally that whole region is pretty packed in the summer though.
AnonSatOfc
August, like next week? I think you’re gonna find most Midwest lakes are going to be very busy and you’ll have trouble finding availability at this point. Harbor Co, Michigan and Lake Geneva, WI are going to be two of the popular nearby destinations, but August will be their biggest months.
If you’re planning for next year, a lot of houses rent out about a year out, but it makes the crowds a lot less overwhelming when you’re retreating to a private space.
Chl
Agree. We’re in Muskegon this week and the beach is lovely. At this point just look for anything up and down the coast that’s available.
Anon
We just did South Haven, MI this past weekend for 4 days with our 2 year old and it was great! Nice beach with an ice cream shop nearby, splash pad, 2 awesome playgrounds, riverfront with boats to watch. Food choices were very meh, but family friendly.
Seattle
I am taking a long weekend trip in October to Seattle with my two teens girls (17/19). I have never been and need recommendations on where to stay and what to do! TIA.
Anon
Wow, that’s really vague. Maybe you should Google or watch some Seattle YouTube videos to narrow things down a bit. I really wouldn’t know where to begin helping you with this.
Seattle
Uhmmmm…it’s vague because I have never been and have no idea what to do or where to stay. Thus the question.
Anon
Maybe tell us your interests or your girls’ interests.
Seattle
We like to sight see in new cities.
Anon
People make travel inquiries like this all the time here.
Anon
Exactly.
Lily
LOL what? People ask for recs for different cities all the time. And her request isn’t vague at all… she gave the month they’re going and the age/gender of who is going. That’s more than enough to make recommendations for things to see/do, at the very least.
Senior Attorney
The Space Needle is worth a visit, and that whole area is nice to walk around. The Chihuly glass art museum is really cool if they are into that sort of thing. Pike Place Market, of course. You could do a day trip to Victoria, BC and it’s well worth it although it would be a long day. Butchart Gardens in Victoria is an amazing place to visit (although I don’t know what it would be like in October).
Anonymous
Chihuly Glass Museum, Starbucks Reserve Roastery, and get ice cream at Molly Moons.
In-House Anon
I agree with the recommendation to go to the Space Needle and Chihuly glass art museum (you could also go to the Museum of Glass in Tacoma which is super cool; if your girls are artsy, they might enjoy watching the glass blowing demonstrations). Are you/your girls into music at all? If so, the Museum of Pop Culture, also near the Space Needle, would be really cool. If the weather’s nice, consider taking the ferry to Vashon Island and eating lunch there and exploring the beach — you’d need a car, though. Another good day trip is going to Tacoma — MOG mentioned above, or Point Defiance Park for hiking and looking at the gardens. I wouldn’t go to Victoria on a long weekend trip to Seattle unless you’re going to take a sea plane. I think the ferry is like 3+ hours one way, IIRC.
eertmeert
If you and the teens like shopping, I would get brunch in Fremont or Ballard and then spend a few hours walking about and checking out the shops. Ballard has more expensive boutiques and Fremont is funkier. You can spend a good amount of time in the Fremont Antique Mall – it’s more tchotchkes and clothes than furniture. I would choose either of those over Capitol Hill, which used to be super fun and funky but is a bit edgy-in-a-not-fun-way these days (imo).
Pike Place Market (what people think of as the fish market, although there are fewer fish stands than flowers, food and other goods) is great. There isn’t much shopping downtown after Covid, but there’s the flagship Nordstrom which they recently renovated and is very nice. If you like perfume they have the full Chanel Exclusifs line, as well as all the Hermes and Dior in their own boutique sections. Those are hard to find elsewhere.
Anon
I travel to Seattle from the east coast frequently for work, so that’s where my recommendations are coming from. Here’s a bunch of random things– It’ll probably be rainy by October. Bring rain coats, no one there uses umbrellas because it tends to be a steady drizzle all day. Downtown can be a little sketch after dark. Pike place market is worth going to. If any of you are into coffee there’s tons of great coffee shops, and of course the ‘original’ Starbucks (not worth it IMO). Puzzle Break escape rooms are fun if you’re into that kind of thing. Din Tai Fung is a chain but everyone I know in Seattle loves it. There’s lots of good sushi and seafood in Seattle too. Ballard is a fun area to walk around in and shop.
Seventh Sister
My grandparents lived there for a long time, and we loved the Burke Museum, which I understand has moved and expanded. The Nordstrom flagship downtown is fun if you like shopping in person.
Seventh Sister
Also, Ivars is fun (the pier location anyway) and we always loved Uwajimiya but it may not be as appealing if you live in a place where there are Asian grocery stores (rural MD had exactly zero at the time).
Essential in Texas
If you are renting a car, the Boeing plant tour is incredible. We e done it twice and I would go 10 more times. Not the one near the airport, which is a flight museum….vs the manufacturing plant.
Anon
The Sheraton Grand is nice and walkable to Pike Place and shopping.
Seattleite of 16 Years
Lots of great recs already, I’ll add more
Rather than Vashon ferry mentioned in a comment above (leaves from West Seattle, and Vashon downtown is a far walk from their ferry terminal—so you need to drive on), I would recommend the Bainbridge Island Ferry instead. You can walk onto the ferry which leaves from Pier 50 (?) of the downtown Seattle waterfront and once on Bainbridge, their main street shopping and restaurant area is within easy walking distance. The ferries offer the best views of Downtown Seattle skyline. Super fun! Highlights of Bainbridge : Mora Creamery for ice cream, Hi-Life for poke / Hawaiian food / dole whip (this is literally right outside the ferry terminal; we stop here every time), Proper Fish for amazing fish & chips (I also like the chowder).
Downtown is very walkable—the blocks are tiny compared to other large cities. Pike Place, Space Needle, Flagship Nordstrom, Waterfront, museums, theaters are all easily walkable.
Seattle waterfront is also great. From the Ferry Dock, you can continue walking north for various attractions (aquarium, shops/restaurants, the Great Wheel, opportunities for boat tours) and continue into the Olympic Sculpture Park (free outdoor art museum) and even further north along the Elliot Bay Trail walking path to the backside of Expedia’s new HQ campus (that’s open to the public). Amazing water and mountain and city skyline views the whole way.
Do take the Monorail to or from downtown to Seattle Center / Space Needle. Or walk through Belltown along 1st, 2nd, 4th, or 5th Ave has shops and bars and restaurants.
Besides Space Needle and Great Wheel, other view / observatories are Columbia Tower and my favorite, Smith Tower (art deco building with speakeasy / observation deck on the top floor…the elevators are manually operated by an attendant. Super cool!!). Kerry Park in the Queen Anne neighborhood offers “the postcard view” of the city.
In addition to Din Tai Fung recommended above (which is fancier Chinese food…known for their juicy pork dumplings; there is a location at Pacific Place at 7th/Pine), get real traditional dim sum in the International District/Chinatown—I would recommend Harbour City or Jade Garden. As mentioned above, browse in Uwajimaya (Japanese supermarket and gift store…love their dishes and kitchen selection; adjoining bookstore is fun) afterwards.
I know people like to hate on AMZ, but the Spheres with its 10,000’s of plant species is a realllly cool experience. It’s open to the public certain weekends of each month (I believe it’s free but you need to book in advance) or any AMZ employee can bring in guests during the week. Walking north from the Spheres, you can go through rest of their campus in the South Lake Union neighborhood to the Museum of History and Industry (MOHAI) on Lake Union. Lots of nice/trendier restaurants in this neighborhood. Portage Bay Cafe is especially delicious for brunch. The Flagship REI (with its giant rock climbing wall) is also in this neighborhood.
And the Capitol Hill neighborhood is still amazing (and walkable from downtown)—lots of restaurants and shops along the Pike/Pine corridor and along Broadway. It’s definitely gotten a lot more bougie recently with all the fancier shops and new apartment buildings (ie there’s a Aesop and Warby Parker where a great Indian tea shop was 10 years ago).
City parks to experience outdoors and/or cold beach time (requires car or Uber from downtown): Discovery Park, Seward Park, the Arboretum. If you have a car, Snoqualmie Falls is impressive (can hike or no hike, your choice) and there are other easy hikes along I-90. Or for a full day trip, Leavenworth (Bavarian village in the mountains…they used to have an intense Oktoberfest but it’s recently moved to another town). There should be lots of beautiful Fall Colors during your visit.
Be warned: October will be chillier and likely to be sprinkling /misty. We do have issues with homelessness and there are areas of tents and whatnot throughout the city. Doesn’t bother me but may bother you (and perhaps other Suburban commenters here who haven’t been downtown recently but will @ me for suggesting so much walking around downtown and Capitol Hill)
Anon
Need Puerto Rico advice —
My husband has a conference in San Juan next year and I’m debating flying down afterwards so we can have a vacation. I’ve been to Puerto Rico before and wasn’t terribly impressed, but I certainly haven’t seen the whole island (I was based in San Juan and did trips to Loquillo Beach, the Fajardo bio bay and the rainforest). I’ve heard great things about Vieques and originally assumed we would go there, but after researching it more I’m not sure it’s the right fit for us. The accommodations look quite basic (we prefer upscale/luxury hotels), the beaches don’t look as pretty as I thought, and it seems like it’s kind of a pain in the A to get to. Culebra looks much prettier to me, but has the same issues with hotels & getting there.
Any advice from frequent PR travelers? What do you think would be the best spot for us?
Anonymous
Just go to the Dorado Beach Ritz Carlton
NYCer
On the very expensive end of the spectrum, Dorado Beach is super nice.
Anon
I love Culebra and Vieques, but it sounds like we have very different travel styles. I love rustic. So yea +3 Dorado Beach Ritz
Anonymous
Yea, you’re not going to like Vieques (and I say this as someone who absolutely loves Vieques). I haven’t been to Culebra, but I think it’s the same.
Anonymous
Alternatively, it’s a quick flight from San Juan to the USVI; your husband could just meet you in St. Thomas, which may be more your style.
Anon
OP here, late coming back to this but if anyone’s still reading… I appreciate the recs so far, but I think I made us sound fancier than we are. We do not have a $2k/night hotel budget. More like $400-700. But yes I think Vieques & Culebra are a little too rustic for us. Any nice hotels in our price range on the main island? And is a day trip to Vieques and/or Culebra doable?
Lisa Hall
I dont know if you’ll see this so much later but we just stayed at Condado Vanderbilt. Lovely! The actual sand beach part is accessible only part of the year because even though its the ocean there is a “high tide” season but their balcony with lounge chairs was just as perfect.