Suit of the Week: Ann Taylor

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1. For those of us with cooler toned skin, this season is not our time. So many rich browns and rusts and olives. They are beautiful, but I legitimately look ill when I wear warm or bright colors. Black and white are fine, but also not my most flattering. Give me some navies and soft grays and charcoal, retailers!

   1. There are browns that work for us, but I never feel great in brown. I lean into the burgundies and dark greens of fall.

      1. In the same boat and I’ve become more accepting of brown pants and skirts. I still want it nowhere near my face, though.

   2. I want these browns, especially this particular color. But I’m increasingly annoyed with the fact that I can’t try anything on. Seems like almost the entire curvy fit line is online exclusive.

   3. I hear you, but you can pull it off with a nice cool French blue blouse, that will highlight your face. You also need to be careful of the brown hue, as some deep ones work well with cool colors. But olives/rusts…. just ugh….I look like death. I wont even wear them on my feet!

2. Kay, can we have more “week in the life” posts?

   The discussions about the equity partner post made me realize that it would be so helpful for people to know what jobs are actually like at different levels and in different fields.

   People seem to fundamentally misunderstand what an equity partner’s job is, or how firms differ than the biglaw model. I’m not even an equity partner yet, but as a more senior attorney I have so much more flexibility than I did as a junior. I think it would be enormously helpful for younger women especially.

   1. +1 to this but I think Kat’s mentioned before there aren’t very many submissions! Maybe I’ll volunteer as tribute.

      1. Would love that!

      2. Tribute is right. All those crabs below you in the barrel gonna come at you big time.

   2. I thought those were on the moms page? I did one over there. I think I filled it out in December 2019 but it wasn’t published until spring or early summer 2020 and everyone was kind of like ‘well this is irrelevant now…” so it was kind of an underwhelming experience.

      1. Maybe! I loved reading them. There was no point during the pandemic but I think many jobs have settled into whatever “normal” is.

   3. I think some folks would find my life interesting. I’m a government policy person who works on both domestic regs and international conventions. I’d happily write a post if there was some form of comment moderation here, but I’m sure I’d get more comments calling me security risk Satan for having a walking commute with my secure computer.

      1. I mean, you handcuff it to your wrist, right ? (joking obvs)

   4. Maybe similar to the money snapshot posts we could have a day in the life post of various careers.

      1. Yes! This is what I was thinking. Less money focused and more day to day job duties.

   5. I would happily submit one too! In-house counsel.

   6. Am I wrong but are there very few comments on most these? I assumed that’s why there aren’t more on a regular basis.

3. Just read the am post and thought I would add here too – I’m the OP of yesterday’s driving post and I probably should have said that I am in a smaller firm – not biglaw by a long shot. I make about as much as a biglaw senior associate (not including bonus). I am also in a practice area that doesn’t have emergencies, so all of this plays into my thinking. I think I am most similar to the poster who responded saying she likes having the kids in the car because they talk at you about the activity they just came from (or school) for the 10 minutes it takes to get them home.

   1. Hi from another mom and equity partner. You don’t have to justify anything, what you are thinking sounds totally reasonable.

      Also high five for making it to equity partner and also being an awesome mom who is and wants to be involved in your kids lives!

      1. Same and same.

      2. Not an equity partner or close to it, but +1 on not having to justify anything and congrats on making it to equity partner while being an awesome mom.

   2. You have nothing to justify. Go you!

      If you saw the other posts from that poster “I expect you to work” and all that nonsense, you could see that he/she is just a disgruntled… something.

   3. It’s a great way to get kids to open up to you. Some of my best chats with my dad were on the way to/from my weekly Girl Scout meetings. He worked from a local coffee shop for a couple hours while I had my meetings.

      There’s lots of evidence that being present with kids in the middle school and high school years increases the chances of them communicating with you because there are more spontaneous opportunities for them to ask/say something.

      1. +1

         I totally agree. Something about the casual setting, and when they are still full of the energy about the school day and wanting to let it out.

   4. I majorly miss the talks I would have with my son when I did the drop-off or the pick-up. He drives himself to school now and I have to really work to find other times to connect with him. I don’t want to be maudlin, but – it’s over so fast, you guys. One minute they’re sitting in their booster seat in the back chattering to you about playing kickball on the playground, and the next they’re sauntering out of the house with their car keys. Do what you feel you need to do to be present for your kids. I don’t regret a single moment I spent being with him instead of being in some meeting.

4. Hi everyone, I have a wedding to go to in October in Connecticut. dress code is formal. what does that mean? I’m not a floor-length gown kind of gal.

   1. If you don’t want to wear a gown wear a cocktail dress. I’m team unless it’s black tie door length isn’t necessary.

   2. I think that lots of women will be in floor length gowns. That doesn’t mean you absolutely have to wear one, but you should err on the fancier side of a cocktail dress.

      1. +1. Unless you have reason to believe otherwise (like you know the bride really meant “hoe-down formal”), Connecticut’s a pretty dressy place.

         You might check Talbots closer to. They’ve stopped making their own party dresses and have started carrying department store brand Maggy London. I got an assortment of gorgeous party dresses last December for all the holiday parties. Some of them could pass for formal if they needed to.

   3. In CT I think it’s perfectly fine to wear a dressy black short dress to a formal wedding, if you like wearing black. I’d look for something with pretty or distinctive detailing in a neckline, sleeve, or beading if that’s your thing.

   4. If you’re not going to do a floor length gown then you need to make sure your cocktail attire dress is definitely on the dressier end of cocktail and your shoes, jewelry, accessories, bag, etc are formal enough to elevate your look.

      1. And I’d do a midi length cocktail dress, not a shorter one.

   5. I think Oct. in CT formal dress code means floor length unless you are the younger cousin who can then wear a fancy but shorter dress. Maybe order some from thredup?

      1. +1 suck it up and get a floor length dress.

         I have had luck getting them for about $80 at Nordstrom rack.

   6. I’m not sure what you have against floor length dresses, but I think this wedding calls for floor length. I guess you could do a nicer end of cocktail midi dress?

   7. FWIW “formal” in my experience means men are expected to be in dark suits (not pants and a blazer) and women in c-cktail or longer dresses, not daytime fabrics, and sparkled up with accessories. Black Tie would mean long dress required.

      1. Same

      2. This is what I’m thinking, too.
         Midi option: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/dress-the-population-tiffany-one-shoulder-midi-dress/5064746?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&color=800
         Floor-length: https://www.nordstrom.com/s/dress-the-population-sandra-plunge-crepe-trumpet-gown/4924562?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses&color=001

         1. Really? That much cleavage for a black tie wedding?

            1. There’s nothing wrong with cleavage in an evening gown!

         2. OMG I love both of these dresses so much!

   8. Mullet hem or asymmetrical are great alternatives to floor length dresses.

      1. Agree, that dress code especially in that location means floor length gown. Also bring a wrap or something as the evenings get chilly.

   9. Grew up in southern CT, had my formal wedding in CT and have been to dozens in the state over the years.

      Formal is black tie optional. Groomsmen will be in tuxes. If adult males have a tux they should wear it, but otherwise a full dark suit.* Where what you would wear to a black tie event. Short is fine, but think bar/bat mitzvah short not clubbing short: lots of sparkles, structure, nice fabrics. Awesome heels.

      October gets chilly so keep that in mind. It is rare but it has snowed on Halloween before!

      *unless you are my preposterous cousin who at 48 wears a variety of custom seersucker or Hawaiian suits and tuxedos to every wedding he’s ever attended, regardless of dress code, including his own where he wore a tuxedo t shirt under his real tux for the reception. FWIW he’s a HYP grad x2 with a very fancy upper crust job and does not take himself seriously at all.

   10. As others have pointed out, formal does not mean only floor length because it is not the same as black tie despite much confusion to the contrary. It’s a literally a step down. Per Brides dot com: it is “slightly less formal than black tie” and, “For women, the outfit choices remain the same: a floor-length gown, a fancy c*cktail dress, or a dressy pantsuit.” In other words, wear a sparkly c*cktail dress if you like! Or do as I did when faced with the same dress code recently and wear a pretty long dress in a flowy fabric with sparkly evening accessories – but that dress doesn’t have to be a literal floor length column dress that feels like middle age prom (which was my personal concern).

5. Ugh. So much polyester.

6. I know this is a “go with your gut” thing, but would you be put off if the architect you contacted for a home reno said he required $350 for a 1-2 hour initial consult because “I’ve been doing this a long time and don’t give away my ideas for free”? Dude, I don’t know you from Adam right now – I’m an experienced homeowner with my own ideas and I just wanna see if we click. I made an appointment with him because architects are scarce in our rural area, but I kinda wanna call him back and cancel.

   1. I’m an independent consultant and I have the same viewpoint as your architect. Tons of people want to “pick my brain” for ideas that they then take elsewhere.

      I’d pay him. He’s probably good if he can command that, and he charges less than I do.

      1. Yeah, but do you say that to your potential clients or do you just neutrally inform them there’s a fee for a consultation?

         1. If you are meeting with him to see if you click on a personal level and you are already annoyed with him, maybe save yourself the $350. (Although on the merits I don’t see anything wrong with the fee and I wouldn’t be annoyed enough by the remark to cancel the meeting but I would treat it as useful information.)

         2. yeah, I think charging a fee seems normal, but I wonder if “I’ve been doing this a long time”, depending on how it was said, came across as “listen here, little lady…”
            Just speculating!

            1. It could also be bitterness, which is understandably a turnoff but maybe separate from deciding whether to do the consult or not. I looked at the website of a writer I like, and in every place where her services were listed she had a grouchy comment about why she requires payment, as if the reader feels entitled to her time for free and needs a talking-to. I don’t disagree at all about charging for services (and am not a prospective client for her anyway) but I agree with the above suggestion that you can just state your fee and leave it at that. Don’t let your anger at rude people from the past interfere with perfectly polite inquiries in the present.

   2. The attitude is really off-putting for sure, but I don’t think I’d necessarily balk at paying for a consult. I take it this man has had experience of giving people ideas in a consult that they then took to somebody else, but that’s a him problem, not a client problem.

      1. When I was young and dumb I had a company steal my ideas and take them to the lowest bidder, it was crushing

         1. I’m 4:42. Same.

   3. He’s right to charge.

   4. I’ve never worked with an architect but our well-regarded (and pricey) design-build contractor does free consults.

   5. Reasonable that he wants to be paid. Not reasonable that he phrased it like that.

   6. I would absolutely pay for a consultation but pay attention to his attitude to see if this is someone you want to work with.

   7. I thought architects always charged, but it’s okay to not like the way he phrased that!

   8. paying for the consult isn’t weird but his tone sounds annoying.

7. My husband & I have ~5 nights to go away together (from the US east coast) in early October. Ideally we’d love to go to a swanky adults-only beach resort, but I know it’s hurricane season in the Caribbean and although we have enjoyed Mexico in the past we’re a bit hesitant about going now due to safety concerns. Florida doesn’t really interest us and Hawaii feels too far for the time frame. Any thoughts? Brave the hurricane risk or give up on the beach idea?
   Unfortunately there’s no flexibility on timing of the trip due to work schedules.

   1. Try Aruba or Curacao as they are both out of the hurricane belt. No matter where you go, make sure you buy trip insurance; you could have a hurricane in your US east coast city just as easily.

      1. +1, of those two I would probably pick Aruba for beach quality unless you’re big into snorkeling or diving.

   2. I went to Bermuda over Indigenous Peoples Weekend about a decade ago. It was lovely. Hurricane risk still exists but it’s less than the Caribbean. Easy flight from the east coast.

   3. Hawaii isn’t too far for the time frame. That’s my input.

      1. It’s literally farther than Europe for her. I’m also on the east coast and can’t imagine going to Hawaii for five days.

         1. I’m on the West Coast and would go to Europe for five days. And have.

      2. I’d go to Greece before I’d go to Hawaii with only 5 days.

      3. Different strokes. I’ve never regretted going to Hawaii even though the travel takes forever.

   4. What about Costa Rica?

   5. Non-beach ideas – Canadian Maritimes, Dublin, Lisbon?

      1. Google Flights tells me there’s a nonstops to Halifax, NS from both Philadelphia and Boston.

         1. Halifax is pretty chilly in October, I love the city but it’s not exactly the beach vibes OP is looking for unless you go in the summer.

   6. Aruba is significantly less hurricane prone or id do Bermuda

   7. California. Beachy or otherwise.

8. Test

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