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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Happy Monday! This azure blue dress caught my eye because it looks classic and refined, but still has a touch of sass in there. I love those darts along the bodice, and call me crazy, but it's nice to see full length sleeves. The dress is $398, at Nordstrom and at DvF (where it's available in black as well, and — ooh, shown belted with an obi). Diane von Furstenberg Milena Fitted Crepe Sheath Dress On the more affordable side of things, this $59 dress or this $99 dress look great; this plus size dress or this plus size dress are similar, as well. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Batgirl
Hoping for some vicarious shopping help for the shopping challenged. I am looking for an olive fall jacket. I found a dream version at a Nordstrom Rack in the spring, but it was too tight in the shoulders and they didn’t have it in any other sizes (can’t remember the brand anymore)…but it was medium-weight, hit at the low hip/upper thigh, went in a bit at the waist, and had a hood. I don’t need all of those attributes, but I was hoping someone could give me some leads for finding a cute, longish, olive jacket that won’t make me look like an extra in My So-Called Life. I’d like to stay below $150, if possible
Thanks for any leads!
Cb
I bought something similar over the summer at Uniqlo. It doesn’t appear to be online but might be something you could find in store. A bit thinner than you might want though.
mascot
This may not be heavy enough. The price is right though. http://www.target.com/p/women-s-quilted-jacket-merona/-/A-50762819
Anonymous
swing trench from everlane? It’s hip length. I have it in olive and love it.
mofare
This looks cute and like it checks all your boxes!
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=74688&vid=1&pid=274750002
Batgirl
I love this! But it’s sold out online…maybe I will check out my local store. Thank you!
anon a mouse
Check out the Luna jacket at LL Bean.
Batgirl
Nice, thank you!
Anonymous
athleta
Sloan Sabbith
I’m feeling like this is a bit too much for work. Too body con plus too low. If it were body con or low, maybe, but both makes it inappropriate for me.
Anonymous
Love the long sleeves and disagree that it’s too body con but I totally agree that it’s too low. It’s like the neckline belongs to a different dress.
Anonymous
+1 I don’t think this is body con but agree the neckline is much too low for work.
Anon
Disagree that this is at all bodycon. Just looks like a nice tailored fit to me. Any less tailored and it would fall very quickly into the frumpy category.
emeralds
+1, neckline is fine with my build. Love this one. Great pick, Kat.
built like a t-rex
+1 totally depends on build (or my total lack thereof)
OTOH, DVF is totally not friendly to my shape (flatchested + budding gut + monster hips). I still love her though.
nona
+1 tailored =/= bodycon. I feel like you need stretch and negative ease to get into bodycon territory.
Kk
This dress would probably be fine on me. I had purchased (and since returned) the Halogen short sleeved version that Kat linked to- that one was DEFINITELY bodycon on me- and since it’s unlined, I was especially conscious of my body.
Cat
This is not bodycon at all IMO, but I agree that the neckline is too low. You can see the top of the slim model’s cleavage so it would be indecent on my C’s…
Senior Attorney
I would fill in the neckline with a scarf, I think.
Anon
SA how would you tie/position the scarf?
Senior Attorney
I really like the one they call the “figure 8” here: http://www.instyle.com/how-tos/how-to-tie-scarf-gifs#1110146
I usually fluff it up a bit more so it doesn’t look quite so figure 8-y.
Also like the one at the bottom of that page, which they call the pretzel.
Wow
The $99 Felicity & Coco dress is body con, not this one. It shows every lump and bump. Not a great look!
Anon
I am not sure about crepe dresses. Can anyone comment? I just feel like crepe seems to be lightweight and easy to wrinkle.
Anonymous
Too low. As per usual with dvf but I love her anyways. Disagree that it’s bodycon though. Love v neck with long sleeves just wish it was a bit higher
Nordstrom help
Could I get some advice?
I’m not US based and recently received my first order from Nordstrom. I wanted to give some feedback on their overseas delivery and so filled in the online comment card and inserted my email address for a reply. How long does it usually take to get a reply?
Anon
I would just chat with them online if you really want to contact them. They are very responsive there.
Nordstrom help
I’ll give that a try (once I sort out the time difference etc). The delivery company Borderfree used charged me a second delivery fee when all I’d expected to pay extra was tax. Not a big amount but they should warn you it could be applied.
Cb
PSA – I just hennaed my hair with Lush henna and it is so pretty! My grey streak is now a lovely coppery streak and my hair feels so soft. It was fairly messy but it was nice to have the brighter colour without the cost and time of a salon.
bridget
Get an empty shampoo bottle. Remove the cap, fill with the ground henna, add hot water, and shake. Then apply in the shower as if you were putting a lot of shampoo/conditioner in your hair.
Anonypotamus
I totes want to try this! But does it stain the porcelain in your bath/shower?
Ellen
Yay! I Love Pricey Monday’s and this DVF sheathe dress. I agree with Kat and Kate that the blue is what make’s it so cute! I will go to Nordstrom’s with Rosa and have HER buy it and I can use it for FREE now that I have gotten down to a size 2! DOUBEL YAY!
I have blond hair so have NOT tried Henna, but know that Myrna LOVES HENNA treatements b/c her hair is very silkey when she goes to work. I did get some Shampoo from her this weekend and it is great. I have to find out where she got it and I will tell the HIVE! YAY!!!!
Anonymous
Nice! I just did my first at home permanent dye job on Fri. I’m pleased with the results! Isn’t it fun and so much cheaper to DIY?
Anonymous
I stopped using Lush henna because of the extra work grinding it up. There are plenty of companies that sell powdered henna preparations. Those just need to be mixed with water.
I bought generic henna from an Indian store for some time, then transitioned to more expensive vendor that offers various color options. The color looks less brassy with their product.
Glove liners....which ones to buy?
We are going skiing in late Dec /early Jan (Alps). We’ve got our gear but I wanted to ask which glove liners I should buy, to wear beneath ski gloves? I’ve heard silk and merino are best. Any brand recs? We have kids with us, both under 10, so that’s why I thought we’d need glove liners for them mainly.
Kk
Honestly, wear mittens. Keeping your fingers together keeps them so much warmer. For dexterity, try some of the ‘trigger finger’ mittens- I have the Hello Operator from Celtek and love them.
If you really feel like kids need liners (warning, they’ll get lost), the house-brand ones at REI have always been fine for me.
H
+1. Gloves and glove liners are such a hassle. If you’re worried about being cold, wear mittens.
Spirograph
+2 for mittens.
REI
Check the REI website and order whatever looks good there. It’s pretty much guaranteed to be high-quality and appropriate for the conditions, but if it doesn’t work out, liners are easy to find on-slope at the local ski shop and you can return to REI.
Anonymous
If going skiing with younger ones – don’t forget the glove and boot warmers. You can pick those packets up at REI too.
SA
Do you have a Costco membership? They have the BEST kids (and adults) ski gloves and mittens. Head brand I think? They were $12 when I bought them.
Runner 5
You don’t need them. The Alps are not as cold as North American mountains. I grew up skiing in Austria and never owned especially fancy gloves or mittens. As an adult I have Sealskinz mittens and they’re incredible.
Glove liners....which ones to buy?
Thanks for all your replies, ladies. We do have mittens. Will go and check out conditions there.
newbinlaw
just piling on – i have terrible circulation & made the mistake of wearing liners in my mittens. I swear i almost got frostbite. The second i figured it out and took them off and let my fingers keep each other warm in the mittens it was a game changer. Mittens FTW
Apt advice
Ladies, what would you do in this situation? H and I are expecting our first child this spring but we currently live in a hcol city so we need to move to a 2 bed from our studio. We’ve got 2 options so far: (1) is a cute split level apt in a very convenient and kid friendly neighborhood where a couple of our friends already live. But storage is minimal, there are no amenities and the room we’d likely have to use for the baby has an exterior door. It’s a relatively safe neighborhood, but still a city. (2) is a similar square footage in a condo building with a front desk and gym and gas stove with more storage. But the baby’s room Would be in a loft-like space with walls that don’t go all the way up and no real door. So I’m concerned about having to sneak around while the baby’s sleeping. Plus the area is kind of a business district without many parks, etc. so I’m concerned about not having much of a neighborhood community or things to do while on mat leave.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!!!
Walnut
What are your daycare options with each? I would choose the location that is closest to work and daycare if possible.
Apt advice
Thank you – they’re both about equidistant to work, which is likely where we’ll hopefully be able to get into the daycare.
mascot
Option one sounds better. You can figure out a way to secure the exterior door. For storage, either cut down on the amount of stuff you have or get a storage unit. In-unit laundry is a big help with a kid so does it have that at least?
Apt advice
Thanks. We already have very few things (coming from 390 sf studio) so not sure how much more we can reduce… Both have in unit laundry.
Anon
With the caveat that I have moderate anxiety, we live in an extremely safe suburb of a small town and there is still no way I would leave my baby in a room with an external door. Unfortunately you aren’t going to be able to gauge your comfort level with that situation until you actually have the baby (pre-baby me would have been fine with this concept). On option number 2, you can do amazing things with white noise.
Anonymous
I had the baby in with me for the first 6 months anyway in a little wheelie crib. So this may not be that big of a deal. Also, it is good to have a real door and I don’t like lofts (I have kids who were climbers and I shudder to think of them falling over and so far down and I am NOT an anxious person but the smaller the person, the less they appreciate risks that are real). I am of the school of danger in house > stranger danger.
Also, any reason that that room has to be the baby’s room?
#1 sounds like a clear winner
Legally Brunette
Definitely NOT #2. Baby’s sleep and cry a lot in the early months and you need an enclosed room, for your sanity as well as for instilling good sleep habits for baby! You absolutely will be tiptoeing around if baby sleeps in a loft style room.
Pre-kids we lived in a loft style apartment for a year and while I did love it in so many ways, the lack of privacy when we had guests or family over sucked.
Apt advice
Thanks! H is convinced he can rig some kind of solution, but I’m not really comfortable counting on that…
Anonymous
He could instead come up with a DIY solution to semi-permanently close off the door in option 1.
nutella
Haha, agreed. I had friends that had a loft and it all went down the drain after a baby. They had to unpack groceries in the bathroom – the only room with walls to the ceiling.
CHJ
#1 for sure. Parks, convenience, and friends are key when you have a new baby. But can you switch bedrooms so that you have the one with the exterior door?
Anon
Either switch bedrooms or put a large, heavy wardrobe in front of the door. In all honesty, the likelihood that your baby will be kidnapped in the middle of the night is minuscule, but some precautions might help ease your mind.
Blonde Lawyer
Don’t block an exterior door. That’s a major fire hazard. Just secure it with a deadbolt. If the door has a window, use a key deadbolt and store the key on a hook near the door but not in a spot one could reach if they busted the window. If the door is solid, use turn latch deadbolt. You could also use a wedge under the door for added security and put an alarm on the door.
Generally speaking, people break in to steal things, not people. It’s just as easy to break in through a first floor window as it is a door. Doors just feel scary but aren’t actually any scarier. If anything, you are safer because you have a quick egress in a fire or other bad situation. If someone broke in your front door you could grab baby and escape out the back door.
Anonymous
It’s not a fire hazard if the door is additional to the building code requirements. If the bedroom also has a window, then it’s not likely required to have the door available as egress in addition.
nona
+1. I would assume the door is there for a reason (fire code/escape?).
Anonymous
nyc has some cray remodels — probably not needed for code today
Anonymous
This. You’ll see your friends more if you can literally be like “we’re going to the park for a walk in 20 minutes if you want to walk with” vs having to make formal plans all the time.
Anonymous
Option #1
Since storage is an issue there – buy a wardrobe from ikea to put in front of the door (tether to wall above door frame).
I’d add a deadbolt to the door near the top (so baby couldn’t ever open).
Another alternative would be to have a contractor remove the door and change the opening to a window.
Anonymous
adding that ikea also has an inexpensive crib with storage drawers underneath as well.
Anonymous
Option 1 sounds better for the following reasons:
Not having walls is a real problem for baby’s room in option 2 (for both you and baby)
On the other hand, you can manage the exterior door issue of option 1
Option 1 has the additioanl advantages of: friends and easy neighborhood.
Purge more, and then invest in storage that you need.
Killer Kitten Heels
Option #1. You can get a heavy deadbolt for the exterior door (or even a door security bar), but you can’t magically import your friends and kid-friendly amenities and full walls around baby’s room into the business district condo.
And for storage, you can buy furniture that’ll do double duty, like a captain’s bed with drawers underneath, ottomans and coffee tables that can store stuff inside, getting a wall unit with closed shelves instead of open so you can store random stuff in it, etc.
Basically, the stuff that is “wrong” with option #1 is relatively cheaply fixable, and the stuff that’s “wrong” with #2 is not at all even remotely fixable, so I’d go with #1.
Killer Kitten Heels
Oh also, even if you’re not up for buying new furniture, you can get basket cubes or other kinds of storage cubes to transform open pieces into closed – they look really nice and hide your stuff easily, and you can usually find them at Target/Ikea for $10/box or less.
Delta Dawn
I would do #1 and put a dresser/changing table in front of the door. I would anchor it to the wall/door (which you would consider doing anyway once baby is mobile enough to pull on the furniture). Basically, I’d put something very heavy in front of the door and then pretend it’s a wall. Option #2 would not work at all with our little one, who can hear everything even over white noise– I would not risk the loft.
Libby
Option 1 for sure-you can easily put a dresser or chest of drawers in front of the exterior door. With Option 2? The way sound carries will be bad enough with a baby, but those half walls would give me SERIOUS anxiety once the child becomes mobile. Plus, you’ll want to be somewhere nice to take the baby on walks.
Anonymous
Kids are faster than you think and if they climb at all, they can push things to climb so that going up and over a loft is not as far-fetched as it sounds. I think you can’t stay in a loft like this once they are >9 months. #1 all the way.
Anonymous
Definitely 1.
H
How long are you planning to stay there? Being able to close baby in his/her own room would be a deal breaker for me. You can always buy storage furniture.
Anon
How long are you planning to stay there? Being able to close baby in his/her own room would be a deal breaker for me. You can always buy storage furniture.
Anon for this
How would sleeping in the same room decrease SIDS? I thought with SIDS a baby stops breathing and does so silently. It wouldn’t wake the parent up.
Anonymous
no idea
I had baby in another room that was 3 feet through the very thin wall from my bed in my room. Room-ish?
They key thing is if you have been drinking or taking any drugs (incl legal ones), don’t co-sleep and don’t ever co-sleep on chairs / couches.
CHJ
I think the theory is that babies respond to their parents’ breathing and it regulates their own breathing.
Anonymous
Also that parents’ “sixth sense” is more likely to be active if the baby is just a foot or two away, not in a different room. Babies should share their parents rooms for at least six months. Sharing a room is also not the same as co-sleeping (bed sharing) which is not recommended.
Mel
Option 1: My friends have a similar situation to Option 2 where they need to walk through the baby’s (now toddler’s) room to get to their room. It was fine when she was a newborn and slept through anything, but now it is forming some pretty bad sleep habits for her.
The plus with Option 1 is that you are by more community oriented things and your support system.
NYCer
For Option 2, can you put the baby in the “real” bedroom and your bedroom in the loft? My apartment building is set up like this (lofts as well as downstairs bedrooms) and I know lots of people put the baby’s room in the actual bedroom and the parents upstairs in the loft, especially during the infant/toddler stages.
The caveat is that the lofts are pretty big and have high enough ceilings that adults can comfortably stand.
ChiLaw
We had our kid in a one-bedroom for the first six months. And then we moved to a place with “her own room” but she didn’t start sleeping there until more like 8 months? I was surprised but it seems really common. Mostly, because she was nursing 93840938 times per night, it just made sense to have her close.
Throwing that info out in case it impacts how you feel about the baby being in the room with a door — it won’t be for a few months at least. (But also, wardrobe in front of the door, bolted on, is a great solution. We have the Billy bookshelf with the Oxberg half-wood half-glass doors blocking a door right now, and it’s a pretty great fit.)
Clipper
#1, no question
Couples Halloween costume
I just got invited to a Halloween party this weekend and I need a quick, easy, last-minute idea for Halloween costumes for my husband and me. Halloween has never been a huge holiday in adulthood for either of us and I don’t think I’ve dressed up since eighth grade. Any tips for something I can either make at home or pick up at a costume store that doesn’t require tons and tons of effort??
cake
A 1920s couple would be pretty easy if you have (or can rent on RTR) a flapper-style dress. Suit and dapper hat for him, and you’re good to go.
Anonymous
I got a last minute invite and went as a “Rodeo Queen” (which is a thing, if you don’t follow rodeo). It was easy. I had a cowgirl hat, boots, and shirt. I wore a lot of blingy jewelry and makeup. Easy things for DH could be cowboy or construction worker (buy a safety vest, wear jeans, t shirt, and boots).
Honeycrisp
Green with Envy: You wear all green, and your husband wears a name tag that says “Hello, my name is Envy.”
Senior Attorney
Love this!
Parfait
Esp since you have the kickass green dress already!
Punny
This will out me, but we’ve been a pair of hooters (two owls) and which came first (a chicken and an egg).
Anonymous
There are ETSY sellers that sell masks that you print out and make yourself like origami.
Two examples are Tetra Variations and Wintercroft.
marketingchic
White apron from Michael’s. Use a sharpie to draw a large “Fe” on the front. Iron Chef.
Anon
Nasty Woman and Bad Hombre.
KateMiddletown
Yup, we’re doing this.
Senior Attorney
Yup, we’re doing this.
Scarlett
Oh that is awesome.
housecounsel
We are too. I ordered a perfectly hideous ombre wig.
LaJen
A friend of a friend and his wife and their baby dressed up as a Nasty Woman, a Bad Hombre, and an Anchor Baby. Amazing trolling.
Anonymous
A friend of mine did Wayne and Garth from Wayne’s world. Super easy, super funny.
JEB
I bought a pair of flats from DSW, and they tore the backs of my ankles up the first time I wore them. I wore them around the house for a bit with no issues, so I was surprised it happened. Can I try to return them with an explanation? Or am I stuck since I wore them out of the house?
Anon
Well if you have worn them a full day, I would assume you have scuffing on the bottom of the sole which would mean you cannot return them.
CountC
I had a pair of running shoes that ended up just not working for me. I had worn them out on the trails a couple of times, but they were tearing up my feet. It’s worth giving them a call and explaining the situation. They might be able to code it as defective. I’ve had companies offer it up when I’ve called and been really, really, nice and explained the situation. They may say too bad so sad, but often times, it’s worth eating the small bit of money to take them back in order to keep a customer.
Anonymous
No, they are worn.
anon
I’ve done this successfully with Nordie’s. No idea if it works with DSW. It’s worth trying.
2 Cents
YMMV, but it probably won’t work, since you wore them outside the house. You can try — maybe calling customer service would do something — but in cases like this, I usually just eat the cost of the shoes (and clean them as best I can before donating them).
JEB
Sounds like I should call customer service rather than trying to talk to a random associate at the store.
If I end up having to keep them, any suggestions on how to prevent them from tearing up my ankles? I’ve seen products that you can stick onto the back as a cushion – do these actually work?
Gail the Goldfish
The heel strip things work, if you can get them to stick. Some are better than others. Unfortunately I can’t recall the brand name of the ones I have that work, but they’re a clear gel type.
Bonnie
Put moleskin on the back of your heels until the shoes break in.
Sloan Sabbith
I got some Steve Madden heel gel things that are wonderful. If anything, they just push the shoe away from the side of my ankle so it stopped slicing it open. Godsend.
Anonymous
The Heavenly Heelz ones work great. I do this on every pair of my flats and have never had the issue since.
Anon
No, of course you can’t return them.
They are likely inexpensive shoes (even if the price was higher than you liked), and this can commonly happen. This is why you sometimes need to add pads, break in more wearing socks etc..
Anonymous
Yes exactly. Band aids, socks, paper tape etc
Anonymous
I would buy a wooden shoe stretcher on Amazon. They’re amazing for this exact purpose, as well as for people with wider feet and bunions. I’ve used them on cheap and expensive shoes with great results.
Anonymous
FWIW, shoes that tear up the backs of heels are often because the wearer has narrow heels that are not securely held in place in the shoe. With each step, the heel pops up a little bit out of the back of the shoe, rubbing against it and eventually causing that “torn up” feeling. Stretching the shoe is not only not the solution to this, but it will make the problem worse. OP needs to use the heel pads that will not only provided a padded protective layer, but fill in the back of the heel a bit so it’s not so big. Where it’s not possible to add one of those pads (e.g. sandals) stick to adjustable back straps.
nutella
FYI, #grabyourwallet and #boycottivanka are now trending
Legally Brunette
Awesome! I just wrote to Peter Nordstrom, head of merchanding. Earlier I had written via Facebook but essentially received a non-response.
Anonymous
Has anyone successfully removed the logo from Ivanka shoes?
Hair dryer
I need to make an investment into a hair dryer with some real power to help cut down on my hair-drying time. I have a large quantity of fine, relatively straight hair. The staff at the local Sally store is worthless. Is the Featherweight all it’s chalked up to be? My hair salon sells it and I’ve seen it at Nordstrom. Any other favorites?
Apt advice
I had a t3 and upgraded to a Harry josh blow dryer. I do really love it! You can find them on sale frequently.
Diana Barry
I have a Rusk speed freak and it is quick compared to my old $15 Conair. Also cheaper than the T3 etc.
Fishie
+1 Rusk.
big orange drink
+1 Speed Freak
Anonymous
+1 Speed Freak is my go-to dryer.
Nati
I have an Amika Mighty Mini that I bought from Sephora. It is amazing. The most powerful dyer I’ve ever owned and TINY (wanted it that way for use at the gym). I imagine their full-sized models with extra features would be even better.
Lilly
I have had a full size Amika for about three years. It dries my hair crazy fast. Also it does not fry my hair. I use a heat shield spray, do a blowout on it almost every day, and lately went in for an eight week cut and color appointment and had only the roots done. The rest of my hair was glossy and good to go still.
Shopaholic
I really like the Sephora brand hair dryer… it gets my hair really smooth in a relatively short period of time (I have thick and curly/wavy hair).
Nashville?
Related question – hair straightener suggestions?
My hair is on the thinner side and long and wavy. I don’t want to straighten my hair every day or anything, just would like to have one around for touch ups and special occasions.
KT
My ultra Chi is a magical unicorn
Jdubs
GHD
KT
My Babyliss is amazing
Anonymous
+1
Jdubs
I went from the T3 to a Sedu and it is amazing!
Marshmallow
I have a BaByliss and LOVE it. At around $80, it’s in between drugstore and professional products, and it bridges that gap well. Dries my hair so fast with minimal frizz.
anon for this
What do you do if you get conflicting instructions from your boss and your boss’s boss? The big boss wants us to save as much time as possible on Project X (which is a known problem child) to free up staff resources for Projects Y and Z; boss agrees in theory, but when presented with concrete time-saving options, never allows us to pursue them. I haven’t been personally involved in the conversations with my boss, since another coworker has the lead in coordinating Project X, but the big boss has been emphatic, direct, and clear in one-on-ones how much time she wants us spending on it. I know if I told her that my boss had nixed the time-saving options, she’d say to cut them anyway. I would never go above my boss’s head like this, but would love some advice on how to navigate this. Project X in its current form is not sustainable in our current staffing model, without compromising other projects that everyone in the office agrees are more in alignment with the strategic goals for our unit.
Diana Barry
Can you call a meeting with Boss and Big Boss, or send an email saying how their instructions conflict?
NYNY
If someone else is in charge of Project X, why is this your problem? Step away and live to fight another day.
SC
If someone else is in charge of Project X, why is this your problem? Step away and live to fight another day.
anon for this
I’m not the project leader for X, but I do A LOT of the work–a peer-level coworker takes the lead on coordinating it, but another coworker and I do the lion’s share of the execution. The three of us are on the same page with the big boss about what we’d like to streamline. Our boss is the only roadblock.
NYNY
In that case, the project lead needs to take it up with your boss. You and the other coworker can back her up, but this is her fight.
Office group costume?
Crowdsourcing costume ideas– we have a three-four person team that needs a group costume for office halloween party. None of us care that much, so easy and funny is best.
Wildkitten
Ghostbusters
Anonymous
minions?
Baconpancakes
Is Mad Men still a thing? It’s usually pretty easy to pull off. Not funny, but easy.
Shayla
Wear all black, be shadows.
PatsyStone
Troupe of mimes
Fishie
Regular clothes and each person wears a different type of monster hands.
Never too many shoes...
Everyone in jammies but with zombie make-up/blood spatters…Slumber Party Massacre.
Turtle
I’ve seen Mrs. Pacman and ghosts. Just need cardboard and wear an all black base.
Wild Chicken
Recommendations for footie socks to wear with pumps or clogs to provide some cushioning/sweat control? Would like to find some that stay put.
Nashville?
Any ideas for gifts to bring back for family from Nashville? I’ve been coming here for a while and theres a holiday coming up for my family so I thought it would be fun to bring back something from Nashville, especially as my mom and sister have basically never been to the South either.
Anonymous
Do they like Southern food/cooking? You could get this cookbook (although its obviously not something you have to actually be in Nashville to buy) https://www.amazon.com/Nashville-Eats-Buttermilk-Biscuits-Southern/dp/1617691690
Miz Swizz
Olive & Sinclair chocolates/goodies. I love the duck fat caramels, which are admittedly expensive but make a fun gift.
Ryman Auditorium or Grand Ole Opry coffee mug. My family is huge on coffee and accompanying mugs.
Southern Associate
Food Wise:
– Goo Goo Cluster store has some really cute things and gift packs.
– Olive & Sinclair has some fabulous gift baskets (chocolate is amazing + bourbon smoked nib is too!)
– High Note gifts actually makes baskets with unique to Nashville gifts (you could see what they include and get it yourself)
– Batch Nashville does Nashville baskets as well
– Loveless Cafe has some great merchandise, including jams and since it’s difficult to fly back with them, you can have them mail it to your home (it’s part of their Shipping Shoppe)
– Circa at the Hall of Fame has some awesome souvenirs, including hot chicken paste
Non-Edible Stuff:
– Hatch showprints
– Anderson Design Group prints
– Loveless has a pretty popular cookbook
– Five and Tenn (Omni hotel) has nice souvenirs
Nashville?
Wow! Thank you.
Where would I go to buy the things that are in like say the HIgh Note gifts?
Things like: Willas Shortbread bites
Prohibition Popcorn
Brittle Brother’s peanut brittle
GooGoo Cluster
Milk chocolate covered marshmallow from Colt’s Chocolates
Do I go to each place separately or are they in grocery stores?
Southern Associate
Batch may have some of these treats. I am not sure if you can find them all at the same place, but here are the two that I know:
– Goo Goo Clusters: Goo Goo Cluster store in downtown Nashville (though you can technically buy them everywhere, but the main store has lots of goodies and extras since it’s in a touristy location and most of the stuff is so well wrapped and comes in a cute Goo Goo store bag, it makes for perfect gifts!)
– Colt’s Chocolates has a store near the Gulch
You know how Nashville is (generally need a car to hop from neighborhood to neighborhood), so I definitely think it’s a little bit harder to find all of these in one spot. However, I do think some of our traditional things (Olive & Sinclair, Loveless, etc.) are worth the trip and will be a hit as gifts!
Hope that helps! Thanks for loving our big small city!
Wild Chicken
Don’t forget that you can take the free circulator bus from downtown to the Gulch – I think it’s the green one that makes that loop. It runs really frequently, too, so you don’t have to wait long for it.
Nashvillian
Biscuit mixes or bacon from Loveless Café.
Anything from Batch Nashville.
Booze from Corsair.
Something from White’s Mercantile in 12th South or in Franklin.
Hatch Show Print from a favorite band or act.
CHJ
Vote early or vote on election day? What are you all planning to do?
Anonymous
Already voted. What’s the reason to wait?
Liz
+this, I don’t like lines
Anonymous
+1, I’m done as well. In CA, with a lot of ballot measures, so I was happy to do at home on a couch where I could research each initiative on my computer.
Nashville?
Funny story. I live in a state where you can’t vote early. I went to the local office to drop off a friends registration, and while I was there asked if my absentee ballot had been sent out (see travel to Nashville). They said they did not have a record of that (found out why, my mistake, no fraud here) and gave me an absentee ballot request form and told me to drop if off at the nearby central office. When I went to do that they asked if I wanted to fill it out right then so I did and put it a sealed envelope. So I’ve voted! I will miss not voting on election day but I also feel good to have voted.
I took a pic of part of my ballot – just where it says Clinton and Trump. I hope that’s allowed. I wanted a memory.
NH Reader
NH had a whole legal case over ballot selfies. The case determined it is illegal to prevent one from taking their picture with or of their vote, I believe on freedom of speech grounds. The other side of that case argued that the ballot is supposed to remain secret to prevent buying votes. While no one is being forced to take a pic w/ their vote, if someone had bought your vote, the pic would be necessary to prove you voted accordingly.
Nashville?
Very interesting. The picture I took is only of the two boxes on the paper ballot where it says Clinton/Kaine and Trump/Pence respectively. My face or name or any other identifying detail isn’t on it – it’s just a picture of a ballot for Clinton, and does not include anything downballot.
That does make sense though. If someone had bought your vote they would want to see proof.
Nashville?
Another election-related legal question. Several states have electioneering laws where you’re not allowed to wear campaign clothes when you go to vote. Does this apply to old campaign stuff? Like what if you had a Obama/Biden or Clinton/Gore pin? Although Clinton/Gore would definitely be cutting it closer
Anon
Voted early. I feel like voting early helps reduce lines on election day, which may mean more people with tough or hard-set work schedules are able to vote that day in a timely way.
Anonymous
I voted early because I’m 100% sure of my vote and wanted the convenience of not waiting in line on election day.
Anonattorney
If it were just the presidential election I would vote today. I am taking my time on getting up to speed on some local election issues. Once I feel adequately informed, I’ll vote.
Anon
+1. My husband and I moved to a new state in September, and need to research the local issues.
Plus, if we vote early, we need to go to city hall. If we wait until election day, our polling place is the adorable elementary school 3 blocks away, and then we can walk to breakfast together afterwards. :)
KateMiddletown
+2 We just moved to a neighboring, more rural county, and it’s unbelievable the difference in # of issues and uncontested races on the ballots. I am going to have to do a deep dive, but I do have some info from League of Women Voters’ website.
bluestocking
This. I plan to vote sometime between Nov 1-4, after I’ve cleared away some work stuff and have time to research down ballet candidates and take a lunch break to walk to the early voting location.
Anon
Whenever you vote- wear waterproof mascara! I got unexpectedly choked up while standing in line outside near the parking lot, close to some older ladies waiting for curbside voting with their 80/90-somethimg Moms that they had brought to vote! Very cool
Anonymous
I’m only 31 and I got choked up when I pressed the button for Clinton/Kaine. It’s a big freaking deal voting for a woman to be the most powerful person in the world
ghost of elizabeth I
what is this vote business???
January
(Elizabeth I: Ivanka of her time? Discuss).
Anon
Ok thanks History, I love it
Anonymous
>4 years of power
Concerns in realm re peaceful succession of power (wars of the roses; Henry 8; [wives issues] James IV; Lady Jane, Bloody Mary; Eliz I –> no male heir!
See also Catherine of Aragon, daughter of formerly most powerful woman in the world, in how things don’t end as they begin.
Ivanka is daughter of wife #1; I don’t think she goes around calling Tiffany or Baron the Royal Bast*ards; I think of Ivanka as one more Boelyn girl — doomed by being the child of an ambitious man
Anonymous
I’m already preparing myself for this moment.
Anonymous
Last presidential election I lived in an urban area, and got choked up walking by the line around the block to vote that was chock-full of really, really excited immigrants chatting in various languages and English. I’m proud to vote, but I definitely take it for granted, and it was obvious that so many of the people did not. So that’s my “inner city.”
Sloan Sabbith
This made me feel all warm and fuzzy and I smiled. Thank you.
stephanie
I’ll be bringing my 11 year old daughter with me and I’m already choked up. She’s going to be so embarrassed. But it’s her fault– months ago, she declared out of the blue that she’s psyched for a “girl” president.
Anon
I’ve never early voted before. I get the convenience. But I feel like there is something — excitement? camaraderie? Something I can’t describe when you go through the line and vote on election day — which for me is always close to poll closing since I don’t get home all that early — and then go home and watch election coverage for the rest of the night until there are results.
BabyAssociate
I totally understand that!
CHJ
Me too! That’s the main reason I’m on the fence – voting on election day is fun! But I also hear the comment above about reducing lines for other people who might not be able to get much/any time off work to vote.
emeralds
Agreed! My state doesn’t have early voting unless you’re absentee, so it’s a moot point, but even if I had the option I’d still go to the polls.
Anon
Me too. I bring my son – he’s young enough that he can understand the visual of what democracy looks like with a line of people at a polling booth more than he would understanding watching mom and dad fill out a form at home and put it in the mail.
Anonymous
fwiw, I’m one of the people who said I voted early and in my state voting early is exactly like voting on Election Day, just at a different time and location. Some states do early voting via absentee ballot but plenty of states have early voting in a polling booth.
Mom
I switched to early voting when I started bringing my daughter. She didn’t have the patience to stand in the long lines on election day and our early voting works the same as regular voting just with centralised locations.
Anonymous
I early vote whenever I can because I can only vote closer to when polls close and I’m always anxious that I’ll have a fender bender or get stuck in traffic or get a migraine or some other reason last minute reason that I can’t make it there in time.
I enjoy going straight home on election day and breaking out the wine to celebrate surviving another election cycle.
Anon
I’m the poster who said they vote at the polls, but I will say I don’t care all that much. I will leave work a few min early to get there by closing time, and yet if I don’t bc I get stuck in traffic — whatever.
Anonymous
Do you mean you don’t care if you get to vote? Really? Wow.
Anon
Is that a huge deal? I believe a significant part of the American population doesn’t vote at all — at least I’ll make an effort. I mean I prefer to vote, but if I happen to be running late that day or something — I’m not going to cry about it or feel sad for 4 yrs until there’s another election day (and no clearly I don’t vote in midterm elections).
Senior Attorney
Oh my gosh I would be heartbroken if I lost the chance to cast my vote for the first woman president! I feel like that is a HUGE HUGE deal!!
Senior Attorney
Not that I assume Anon above is voting for Hillary. Just how I feel.
BabyAssociate
I’m volunteering with Election Protection on Election Day, so I’m voting early!
KateMiddletown
What is this and how do we do it?
BabyAssociate
If you’re a legal professional, you can sign-up here!
http://www.866ourvote.org/pages/election-protection-volunteers
Sunflower
Also try googling Hillary Victory Counsel. I signed up to poll watch on Election Day.
Anonymous
My too. It’s always fun to volunteer on election day. I also volunteered this weekend and got to help a ton of people register
LaJen
Me too! Where are you going? I’ll be in Las Vegas.
Gail the Goldfish
I’ll vote early, assuming I can inform myself enough on the 28 races on the ballot in time to do so. (why my town thinks positions like the Register of Deeds and the Soil and Water Conservation District Supervisor need to be elected, I don’t know)
NC voter
Gail- I seem to remember you’re in NC like me- if you skew Dem, the Indy weekly always has a voter guide and write-ups that allow you to decide if you agree with their endorsements. N&O may have something too plus look up your sample ballot online at NC Election board. Agree its time consuming to research !
Gail the Goldfish
I am-thanks!
ghost of elizabeth I
NC is crazy with the things you get to vote for — agriculture commissioner? I live in a CITY. IDGAF.
lost academic
You eat food, though, right? So you should care, at least theoretically…
ChiLaw
I have an out-of-state meeting on election day so I’m planning to vote by mail like tomorrow.My state is safe but I want H to have a landslide (and we have a million propositions and other races to vote on).
Anonymous
I voted early and there were people in line in front of me talking about how they weren’t sure how they were voting for President. First of all, how can you not know at this point!? and if you don’t know, why on earth are you voting early?
Anon
Lol. I know it isn’t funny but it kind of is to me. So they’ll figure it out when — in the booth?
Anon
Speaking of “not sure”, please google Oprah’s thoughts on that topic. Her remarks were spot on!
Anonymous
Election Day. Because we don’t have early voting.
Sydney Bristow
Same here. I really wish we did!
Anonymous
Early because it may help your candidate/party. Major news outlets are already running stories about how early voting signs are looking favorable for Hillary Clinton, and I wanted to contribute to that.
Anonymous
And at least in my state, voting early means the party devotes fewer resources to chasing your vote, leaving those dollars/resources to go for other voters.
Jitterbug
I wish they wouldn’t do that, it might make Hillary supporters less inclined to vote, figuring she’s already winning so why bother.
Anonymous
I wondered that too, but 538 and other s!tes say it’s actually the opposite – that it tends to depress turnout among the supporters of the person who’s not doing so well (and I think that’s especially true with Trump, since he has hung so much of his campaign on being “a winner.”)
Cb
I postal vote as I live abroad. But frankly, I’m not sure how California voters can manage voting on the day. There were loads of propositions, local initiatives etc and two different plastic bag bans, do people bring a list in with them?
Anonymous
You don’t have to vote on every issue though. You can vote for President and leave the rest blank.
NC voter
Yes! As above- I print out a Sample ballot and take that with me.
Anon
In our community, we are sent post-cards from party affiliated groups, non-profit organizations etc.. that list the candidates (for ALL offices) and list the various initiatives we will vote on and then they mark the person/issues they support. Some even list briefly why.
So I always carry one of these postcards in with me, or print out the recs from the websites of the groups I support. Sometimes I add a few notes of my own.
I learned the hard way how important it is to do this. Many years ago a bunch of extreme right wing individuals won some offices in our state because people mindlessly chose their names which “sounded” nice….. like, voting for “John Goodfellow” for comptroller etc.. What an embarrassing mess, as many people I knew admitted that they had voted for some of these individuals…. when they had no idea who they were.
We also occasionally have a judge that should not return to the bench. It is impossible to stay up on all the issues, yet voting is so important, so I have to look to some local organizations for guidance.
Anonymous
The conventional wisdom is that you’re supposed to vote No on propositions unless you have done your research and feel strongly that Yes is the correct vote. Here’s an article explaining why. https://medium.com/@michaellevinson_64108/why-i-vote-no-on-almost-all-california-ballot-propositions-even-if-i-agree-with-them-e672cbe64fcf#.bzc5dptaj
When I lived in CA, I voted no on all of them except once on an issue I had done my research on.
Senior Attorney
I almost always vote no on the propositions for similar reasons.
A friend of mine titled her note for Law Review something like “Lousy Lawmaking: The Initiative Process in California,” and I think that’s pretty much it in a nutshell.
Senior Attorney
Yes, I fill out my sample ballot and bring it into the voting booth with me! That’s what it’s for! :)
Anonymous
I grew up in California, and when I moved away I was shocked not to get a sample ballot in the mail.
stephanie
Yes I bring a list. I usually agree with the LA Times so I bring theirs too.
Anonymous
I voted early this year because my husband thought he might have a hard time making it off work in time on election day. So since he wanted to vote early, I just went ahead and voted too.
sfbae
mailed in my ballot early. so grateful i can do that now ever since i waited 7 hours in line in VA in 2012… bah.
Jitterbug
Honestly, I’ll wait for election day if I can. It’s kind of fun going to the polls on the day-of! It helps that the lines at my precinct are never very long, and I can work from home that day and vote between rush hours. But maybe I’ll get antsy and end up voting early!
anon
We don’t have early voting unless absentee. My office is closed on Election Day, so my husband and I have a nice tradition of voting and then going to breakfast.
And even though I’m off work that day, I’m totally wearing a pantsuit.
Bonnie
I like voting on election day. It usually goes pretty quickly.
EM
I vote early because where I live they (campaigners, I guess) like to pour into their pick-up trucks and park outside the polling places and yell. I find it somewhat…intrusive and prefer to avoid it. (FWIW, the police have been called on more than one occasion to ensure that the distance limits are enforced.)
Anon
Ok that’s really disturbing
Scarlett
Voted by mail this year. Normally I wait to election day (I like the buzz and feeling of voting live) but this year, I didn’t want to risk anything coming up that could possibly get in the way. Sometimes I’ll go vote early at City Hall, but mail seemed easier this year.
New Tampanian
Early. Probably tonight. Feel like I’ll be missing out on election day but I know it’s a cluster F down here. (First general election in FL)
PrettyPrimadonna
This is me. I usually vote early because… Florida.
LawChick
It is an actual cluster in Florida… but I still go on election day. At least you know your vote counts!
Sloan Sabbith
We have mail in ballots. Got mine on Thursday, dropped it in the mail Friday morning. Along with half my office…
Financial Advice
I need some advice on where to focus my savings. I’m 28, single, with no debt and have about $30k in retirement funds, $25k in index funds, and $20k in a regular savings account. I’m able to save about $1200 per month on top of the 15% of my salary going to my 401k (not hitting the max though because I only earn $65k) and am trying to decide where I should save that money. All the projections I’ve looked at have me well on track to meet my retirement needs, so it seems like I don’t need to focus my savings there. I also want to purchase a home, possibly in my HCOL area, one day so I’m thinking I should I focus on saving for that. Given that it likely won’t be for another 5 or so years at the earliest, especially since I’d ideally like to buy with a spouse (whom I’ve yet to find), I’m just not sure where I should be putting that money. Even the $20k I have in a savings account seems silly since it’s earning less than 1% interest. I fully recognize how fortunate I am to have this problem, but what do you all suggest?
Anonymous
Hit the max of your 401k. You can afford to, or at least get close with your extra savings ability, you have a solid emergency fund, and you have no pressing need for other big savings. You can always slow the pace on retirement later but if you can set yourself up really well young, do it. For sure if you aren’t even maxing out your 401k you are not all set on retirement funds.
Anonymous
+1 I’m not sure why you wouldn’t be putting $18k a year into your 401k if you’re in a position to be saving this much.
Financial Advice
Thanks, but does it really make sense to be contributing almost 30% of my income to my 401k, especially since it will likely take me so long to save up for a down payment? I think it makes me nervous to have so much of my money tied up in an account that, from my perspective, is untouchable for the next 40 years.
Anonymous
It’s not untouchable. You can borrow from it for a down payment. You aren’t looking to buy anytime soon. You don’t have enough retirement savings.
Anonymous
AGH No. Don’t borrow from your 401k! Especially not for a predictable expense.
OP, put the money in a a S&P 500 index fund. It should grow at more than 1% but be relatively low-risk and easily accessible.
Anonymous
I’m not saying she should, just that it is possible and not a reason to fail to fully fund your 401k when you can afford to do so.
HnH
This was me in my 20s. I felt really uneasy leaving a big chunk of money where I can’t touch for decades. Now in my 30s, that gap has narrowed and I wish I had maxed out my my 401k earlier for all the tax savings.
Like you, I was also considering a down payment, but then things changed and I ended up not buying a house and having a lot of cash.
You mention you are also living in a HCOL area but only making 65k a year. Have you calculated how much down payment you would need and how long that would take you? Are you buying alone or with a partner? It just seems like 65k a year won’t ever get me a house in a HCOL area.
Anonattorney
Max your 401k. That leaves another $6150 to put toward other savings. If you want to save for a house, put that in your index funds or start buying laddered CDs. The $20k in savings is your emergency fund.
Anonymous
1. Is your $20K your emergency fund? Or kind of an all-purpose savings fund? Either way – leave that were it is – it’s not working very hard, but emergency money’s job is to be very available in case of an emergency. Shop around (online savings accounts, credit unions) for better rates, but don’t invest it. Continue contributing ($100-150/month).
2. Up your retirement contributions. Maybe an extra $200-300 a month? You are on track, based on an current calculators, but who knows how accurate those will be? If you have the extra money now, put it into retirement – you can always scale back later if you need the money somewhere else. You are the only person saving for your retirement and better to contribute early and often, than trying to play catch up at the end.
Alternatively, you can contribute to an Roth IRA, if you want to use it as a potential savings tool for a future house as well.
Financial Advice
1. Yes, I should have specified that the $20k is my emergency fund, with about 10 months of living expenses saved up.
2. That’s a good point. I might contribute more to a Roth IRA too so I can at least pull another $10k out if I need it (that would not be the plan though.) Thanks!
Walnut
Definitely max out your Roth. After tax contributions can be pulled out anytime and first time homebuyers can also pull out gains. It’s a win-win vehicle for your scenario.
Beth
+1. I’m 34 and was in a similar position in my late 29s. I crammed my retirement accts full and now when I can’t quite max them out (daycare for 2 in a high COL), i feel much less guilty.
Anon
This. Max out – or get as close to 18k – as soon as you can for as long as you can because (i) time value of money, your horizon is longer now than it will be at age 40; and (ii) you can’t presume that you will always be able to max out. Maybe your HCOL city gets even higher COL going forward; maybe there’s crazy inflation and daily expenses cost a lot more in a few yrs; maybe you have kids and there are daycare/college costs.
Financial Advice
Thanks everyone for your input! You’ve won me over. I’m going to up my 401k contribution and direct any remaining funds to Roth IRA and then an index fund since my emergency fund is all set.
Duckles
I’m in almost the exact situation but already maxing my 401k– I’ve heard before on here not to put a potential house down payment in index funds bc it’s too risky and to just stomach the low interest rate for security (likewise, I have no plans to buy for a least a year or two, though). Does that still hold true?
Anonattorney
Vicarious shopping help! I want to get a cashmere or other soft wool black shawl/cape/poncho/wrap for my MIL for Christmas. I am trying to get something close to, or under, $100. (I realize that may eliminate cashmere). I already checked Nordstrom and had no success. Can anyone help?
Anonny
Woolovers!
Anonymous
Store brand cashmere at Bloomingdales, NM, L&T, etc will go on sale. I would look there starting around Black Friday.
Maddie Ross
The last few weeks Garnet Hill had good sales which brought down the prices on their cashmere items. I love the wrap in particular, but it may be a bit over your price point. The other cashmere items are nice, too.
A second option is Talbots, believe it or not. Not sure they have solids this year, but their cashmere scarves a good MIL gift.
lawsuited
Talbots has lovely water weave cashmere wraps that were recently on sale for $113 if I remember correctly. I have 3 and they are lovely.
Lucky
DH and I are headed to Italy next week. Itinerary is rather fluid, so I’m looking for must-see/eat/do in Rome, Florence, and Venice. Spending about 5 days in Rome, and the other 5 days are split between Florence and Venice. We both love history and good food. Any suggestions? This will be our first time in Italy, so open to any and all suggestions. TIA!
mascot
You can book tickets ahead of time for a lot of the museums and such. We did a small group tour for the Vatican (Through Eternity tours) and it was worth it to avoid the lines for general admission. Also, check for various podcasts for the sites if you aren’t doing organized tours. Rick Steves had some and I am sure there are others now.
AIMS
Yes to getting the tickets ahead of time. The Rick Steves Italy book actually has a lot of the tips for this. It’s worth checking out.
Also, worth the few dollars it costs: the EAT Florence and EAT Rome apps. Compiled by a local food writer. We found some of our very best meals this way. In Venice, I highly recommend just getting lost a little – it’s small so you won’t get too far afield but there is something magical about just wondering the little dead end streets. You’re going to have a great time.
Anon
a search in the archives would find you great discussions.
Anonymous
Look at restaurant reviews before you go. I used to think you can’t go wrong with food in Italy but there are tourist traps like everywhere else. Had an awful meal within sight of the Coliseum. I find fodors recommendations are pretty reliable. You don’t need to plan three meals a day that way – but at least pick out a few options for each city in advance.
anon
Basilica de San Clemente in Rome — a church on top of a church on top of a pagan school on top of a mint. It was my favorite part of Rome.
b
+1000 I lived in Rome and this is the coolest place
anonymous
I was also going to suggest this! I studied in Rome for a semester so I saw a lot of what there is to see (though I’m convinced you can never see it all) and this is what I always recommend to people.
sfbae
i used a series of apps called like eat rome or eat venice that were done by an american expat who had been in italy for decades and they were fantastic. i think they were maybe 1.99 or 2.99 on the app store but well worth it for not-super-duper-touristy restaurants that we felt like were fantastic.
Laura
Just got back from Venice and Rome. I don’t have great suggestions for Venice, but I had good luck with Yelp in Rome for food. I stayed off the main tourist streets/piazzas to try to avoid the super touristy places. Had an amazing meal at Vecchia Locanda. I would also recommend Cul de Sac (just went for wine but everyone raved about the food).
Anon
Just chiming in to note that we leave on Wednesday for 12 days in Rome, Florence, and Tuscany – see you there! :)
A few dinner recommendations from a previous trip:
All’antica di Cambi in Florence for the best Florentine steak (I don’t even like steak and I thought it was delicious)
Sofia in Rome for a well-priced delicious Italian dinner with a contemporary/Mediterranean twist
CHS
-Do the scavi tour of Vatican if you can get it
-Friday night Vatican museums if open, and eat at Pizzarium before. Eat at Pizzarium whenever you go near VC,
-Eat trapizzino in Rome. Check out off the beaten path neighborhoods like Monti and Testaccio. Hit Trastevere at night.
-In Venice best thing to do is walk everywhere, down all the paths and around all the corners and bridges. Favorite time was between twilight and midnight just wandering and stopping for spritzes and cicchetti. Don’t miss the Jewish ghetto. The cemetery island was haunting and beautiful.
Anon
Go to Aqua al 2 and get the pasta sampler. It’s the best because you get 5 types of fresh pasta in one meal. Enjoy!
Anon
I should add that Aqua Al 2 is in Florence.
AIMS
iPhone/Wi-Fi question. Not sure if this is an NYC specific issue. I have my phone set to use Wi-Fi but not without asking my permission (unless I have previously approved the network). Sometimes when I am out and about my phone’s internet will automatically go to a Time Warner Cable page that wants me to log in before I can get to the page I want to load. I don’t want to do this & the only way to get around it seems to be to turn off my Wi-Fi. Problem is that I then have to remember to turn it back on when I’m home, which I always forget, and every time this happens I go over my data for the month because I usually listen to a lot of podcasts or streaming music at home. So – is there a way to deal with this that’s better than what I’m doing? Is there something in the settings I can switch to automatically use Wi-Fi at home?
TorontoNewbie
Can you “forget” that network? It seems to be thinking that you’ve previously approved that one.
AIMS
I’ve never approved it. That’s the weird part. It’s not asking me to sign on as a password the way it would for Wi-Fi normally. It’s like the whole page I’m trying to view is just a Time Warner Cable page and the only way around it is to disable Wi-Fi.
Anonymous
You must have trusted it at some point. Telling it to forget the network will make your phone stop joining.
Anonymous
Yeah, I think this is the answer. If it has the same name as another network you’ve approved, I don’t know if your phone can tell the difference.
anon today
Ugh–I just got my performance review back (FY ends Sept 30) and I am so disappointed. I have been at this job for about one year. At my old job, I was the all-star and was confident in my work. New job that is clearly not the case. So I am sitting here shame spiraling and feeling like I have made such a huge mistake in my career taking on this new position. This past year has included a move to a new city, a new baby and a new job. And for some reason this review feels like a judgment on how poorly I managed all of it.
The scale is 1 (you fulfilled the requirements of your job) to 3(you did exceptional). I got a 1.75. I don’t know how that falls with others in my position, but it is certainly the lowest score I have ever had on a performance review. I am not usually a crier, but even writing this makes me tear up—thankfully I am working from home today.
I need to get my emotions in check before I meet with my boss later this week to review the review. And I need to channel my disappointment into something besides crying and feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for being a place to unload this. Wise words welcome.
JuniorMinion
Everyone has had a bad performance review at some point I feel like – whether its because the job is not a good fit for your skills or because life stuff intervenes in your ability to excel at work. If I were you I would focus on looking forward and developing the necessary skills to get close to a 3. On the upside, it doesn’t sound like you are not meeting expectations / have near term icebergs in your path. I would focus the conversation with your boss on how you can excel and the traits / skillset / work (s)he would want to see to rate you a 3.
I know its really hard, I have been through the performance shame spiral, but I would recommend keeping the focus on how you can do better going forward as opposed to dwelling on the past.
Anonymous
Performance reviews are political games. Where I work, groups must have certain percentages of employees fall in each category – not everyone is allowed to be a 3, even if they are. The numbers are used to argue for promotions, etc. Because you’re new, it makes sense that you’d get a lower score if they need to score other people higher who are in line for a promotion unless for some reason you expect to be as well. It’s not like you got a bad review or are on a performance plan. They’re not equal to A, B, C or whatever from school. Talk to your boss and try to understand how it works – they may or may not be willing to explain how it truly works.
PatsyStone
+1 Don’t get attached to the number until you find out what it means.
Nati
Yup. I was going to say the exact same thing. If you work in government then the chances are even higher that something like this is going on in the background.
Anon
If your review was that you fulfilled the requirements of you job (and actually it’s slightly in excess of that), then that is not a poor performance review. I get that it isn’t a 3, but it isn’t like they are telling you that your performance was deficient. Frankly, slightly exceeding expectations is pretty dang good considering you moved and had a new baby. My boss always ranks me around that category, and at first I kind of spiraled like you did because I am used to being the best and highest ranked at everything (special snowflake syndrome and all that). But I know my boss is extremely happy with my work (she tells me and others on a regular basis). Some people just tend to review moderately. Performance reviews are stupidly subjective, so unless your boss is telling you there is a deficiency in your performance, don’t create one.
Anonymous
My husband just had his review at a new job as well, and it wasn’t what he hoped. But consider that, in addition to having a baby (pretty much a huge challenge in its own right), you have had to learn about your new city, your new job (new coworkers, expectations, procedures). It would honestly be unrealistic to expect that you would get a 3 in your first year. There is a learning curve, and these reviews are to help you identify areas to stretch yourself so that you *can* become the all-star that you are. Not only this, but I can see how companies would be reluctant to award 3s to new staff as they could become complacent with the job they’re doing instead of challenging themselves.
I would encourage you to look past the numbers for the first year or two and focus on areas identified in the review where you can improve. (My husband realized later it took about three years at his first company before he started getting the reviews he expected.)
You’re awesome. They know it because they hired you. You can do this.
Anonattorney
It also really depends on how the organization uses these reports. Many employers don’t have a huge incentive to tell you that you’re already doing as well as you could possible do. It sounds like the number you received means that you’re exceeding expectations, but that you still have room to grow.
If you feel like you’re killing it, then you probably are (or at least you certainly are not failing at your job). I’d have a relaxed conversation about your review with you boss or mentor at work, and otherwise approach it as an opportunity to do even more.
Elisabeth
I’m not sure if this helps, but at our company, if you’ve been in a position for under a year (or close to), you’re almost automatically going to get a ‘developing’ rating, rather than needs improvement, solid, high, or exceptional. The theory being that when the job is new, there’s no way you’re going to be great at it right away. And that’s cool. It’s ok not to be great at everything right away.
KateMiddletown
New baby? Remember you are splitting your time between two different full-time jobs at the moment. Give yourself a little slack, and figure out how to prioritize high impact stuff.
b
I do performance reviews, go in strong to the review of the review. Tell your boss you feel you’ve learned a lot in the new position, and your goal is a 2.5 or 3 next year. Specifically ask about the measurement scale, and what it would take to achieve that score. I rarely (read: never) give an employee a perfect overall score, but I do try to reward them on their greatest strengths and leave room for discussion and improvement on the shortfalls. Frankly, I’m far more frustrated by employees who are apathetic or overly emotional/can’t be rational about their score/review. If you got a score you want to work on and show zeal to improve, you should be just fine. Let yourself cry at home, regroup, and go in strong and willing to listen and accept feedback with a clear mind.
Have you been in this job an entire year? Do they only do formal reviews at the end of the FY? Do you do weekly or monthly 1-on-1s or other sorts of check-ins? If not, ask to establish those so you are routinely asking for feedback and have the opportunity to address potential issues before they become issues.
Anonymous
I live in a studio. It’s not tiny, but it’s still a studio (500 square feet.) I have very limited closet space and some what a friend would call “RAS” – random ass shit that I do need to store. I have it in a couple boxes in the corner now but I hate it. Any ideas to make it less of an eyesore? It’s nothing I like enough to get a storage unit for but random things I would prefer to keep. I’m not sure if switching to opaque storage bins would help? Sadly under the bed is out of play as well.
Killer Kitten Heels
What about getting a storage container that’s also attractive/functional, like a steamer trunk or a storage ottoman or a vintage locker or something? There’s no reason to punish yourself for keeping things with ugly storage bins when you could get something better for not that much more money.
Anonymous
Or a coffee table / TV stand / night stand that also has storage?
Dulcinea
A decorative folding screen you can put around the corner where you stack the boxes? you might be able to make one fairly cheaply if you are handy. But I mean, if you have a reason for keeping the stuff, that’s reason enough to spend some money to keep it neatly/attractively out of sight.
Anon-in-House
Comments / things to consider for an in-house counsel position? Both from a “this is how corporate life is different than firm life” perspective and specific to the interview process. Or feel free to link to prior threads on this topic if you know where they are – I searched and can’t find any.
Scarlett
I think I’ve commented before, but things I would absolutely consider now that I wouldn’t have occurred to me before going in-house (and this doesn’t include the self-awareness/is that the right role for you):
– size of the law department (some in-house jobs are with departments that rival large law firms & that’s a very different experience from a small law department)
– who is your boss/do they understand and respect your practice area
– what is the ownership structure of the company (publicly traded, privately owned – if so, plans to sell/take public? owned by private equity?)
– how mature is the company – startup to old-brick/mortar
– the soft things – how does the department interact, is there transparency from the GC, do people get along and help each other (harder to figure out but try)
Scarlett
PS – on how it’s different from a firm:
– regular hours but they’re all busy hours (less downtime)
– more “routine” issues that you may not be as familiar with since firms usually get “weird” issues
– need to be much faster/more practical
– no billable hours
– may take an initial pay cut, but you can usually make it up pretty quickly depending on where you go
– good for people who are more practical/business minded, not so good for people who are more academic/less comfortable with decisionmaking
Cat
I agree with all of this, now having experience on both sides. PARTICULARLY the last point. I have some colleagues who can pontificate for hours on the nuances of an NDA, and it doesn’t go over well with their business clients…
Anon-in-House
I imagine this could vary by company, but do you ever work weekends? Is there more control over your schedule? Did you find that stepping out of law firm life felt like culture shock? And maybe these are dumb questions, but as a lawyer, I don’t have a certain number of vacation days – I can take a reasonable amount of time off as long as I hit my hours. So – what is reasonable to ask for /expect as far as vacation days?
Cat
Weekend work — typically I keep tabs on emails every few hours, but have worked more than answering a few emails 3-4 weekends in the last year. HOWEVER this varies dramatically by company and I did my diligence prior to going in house because I didn’t want to take a pay cut only to have “always available” expectations.
Vacation — I have 25 days, and am encouraged to take them. Because taking a day off no longer means “must make up those hours somewhere” I’ll probably use 15-16 days this year, vs. the 5-7 I’d take in BigLaw.
Anonymous
Anyone know a place to get plain old khakis (tall sizes preferred)? All the ones I’m seeing now are the skinny leg style and many with zippers and cargo pockets that make them more casual. I’m looking for ones that would be appropriate for a work setting in which men are wearing khakis and polos.
Bonnie
These look to be on the looser side and pretty plain: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/caslon-boyfriend-chinos/4525268?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=GREY
Bonnie
I’ve cut out dairy because of lactose intolerance but now my nails are really week. I don’t love milk substitutes so use them in my coffee but don’t drink them alone. Suggestions on how to add calcium?
ghost of elizabeth I
Tums or fortified juices
Anon
take a hair/nails supplement or a prenatal vitamin if this is really important to you.
Nashville?
I started taking B12 vitamins because I was deficient but then realized my hair and nails were growing like crazy because it also contained Biotin. So that could be another option.
Do you drink Lactaid or other lactose-free milk. I drink it for the same reason, drink tons of milk, and don’t really notice a taste difference.
Never too many shoes...
Kale (shudder), broccoli, spinach…most dark green vegetables are good sources of calcium.
Anonymous
Keratin supplements. Calcium supplements.
CountC
I take the hair, skin, and nails vitamins. They actually do help.
Anon for this
For those of you who have tried trimming your bikini line (or more) with a trimmer, does the stubble (for lack of a better word) itch or poke at all? Lately, the length of the hair is bothering more, especially since I need to wear a pantyliner every day, so I’m considering any and all options. For those of you who have a “landing strip,” how do you get it that way? Trimming plus waxing?
Nati
My skin gets super itchy and bumpy if I shave or wax, but trimming has posed no problems at all.
anon
trim as close as possible, then shave (but only in the direction of hair growth; this will not result in hair-free skin, but will thin the hair down significantly without ingrown hair/bumps).
Anonymous
I found these mini bikini line shavers. They are single blade, about 3 inches long, and amazing. Now I don’t have to worry about cutting myself. I’d google them but I’m on my work computer, and they track our network usage. LOL I trim then use this to shave everything, and I haven’t cut myself or gotten infected ingrown hairs.