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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: EveryWear V-Neck Tee for Women

This is admittedly a bit casual for most professional offices, but if we can’t dress down on the Friday before 4th of July, then when can we?

For reasons I cannot explain, I’m frequently drawn to articles of clothing with fruit printed on them. It’s how I’ve ended up with a cherry-embroidered sweatsuit (amazing, by the way) and a number of T-shirts printed with every citrus fruit imaginable. 

I do not, however, have any pineapples in my collection and I’m looking to rectify that immediately. I would wear this sweet T-shirt on a very casual office day with some ankle pants and a long cardigan. More importantly, I would wear it every weekend for the rest of the summer with denim shorts and sandals. 

The shirt is $10 at Old Navy and comes in sizes XS–XXL. 

Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

246 Comments

  1. To all the readers who said they love boucle the other day – what is the secret to find a boucle knit that does not pill like crazy, or how do.you wear it and treat it to prevent it from doing so?

    Love the look, never met a boucle that didn’t pill horribly :(

    1. I missed this thread yesterday but I’m a boucle fan. I have a few boucle pieces from MMLF that don’t pill.

    2. I think this is where quality will matter. I’ve had pieces from more expensive brands with no issues and stuff from cheaper places like BR Factory that we’re unwearable quickly.

    3. It is kind of hard to predict what yarn is going to pill unless you know a lot about how it was made, as it relates not only to the type of fiber in the yarn (cotton, wool, etc), but also how the fibers are spun together in the yarn. And different breed of sheep produce fiber of different length–short fibers like cashmere are more likely to pill as it is easier for them to escape the twist of the yarn–so even just looking for wool won’t help. But in general, I think rayon blends tend to pill a lot. I would expect to see a lot of mohair in a boucle, and that is a really long, durable fiber (less likely to pill). I would also be wary of anything that is super soft.

      1. Boucle lover here. My boucle is 100% wool or close to it. I can’t imagine anything with a rayon or cotton content working well.

  2. I am apparently “off” the posting rhythm here–check the Bebita Bag coffee break post last night for my recs. If I get a minute, I will repost as a reply here.

    Second the poster who suggested Ohio City (LOVE West Side Market), but I note that, except for the market, that tends to be a bar/restaurant hopping district, rather than shopping or sightseeing. Also, TownHall has good food and a nice patio, but there was some controversy related to political views and policies there a short time back.

    To kill a few hours with lovely little shops and a snack, I suggest Coventry, Little Italy (art galleries more than boutiques), or Cedar-Fairmount. All are a longish but pleasant walk or short Uber from University Circle proper.

    Also, if you are driving, watch your speed and traffic laws on that side of town, particularly if you have out of state plates–PDs have a reputation for “eagerness”.

    1. Late to the table, sorry, but University Circle is my stomping grounds and there are so, so many good restaurants to recommend! You will want to cross-reference these with your location and car access, but you won’t go wrong:

      – L’Albatros – lovely patio, pricey/swanky
      – The Coffee House (on Juniper) – try the iced mocha!
      – Tommy’s (Coventry) – FANTASTIC vegetarian options, good stuff for carnivores, and don’t miss the milkshakes
      – Grum’s (Coventry) – really top-notch subs–take a picnic to Lakeview Cemetery down the street!
      – Algebra Tea House (on Murray Hill Rd.) – funky, cheap, good
      – pretty much anywhere in Little Italy – Corbo’s Bakery and Presti’s (better, IMO) are standouts for baked goods and cannoli, Guarino’s is a standout (cute patio) for meals. IIRC, the latter might be the oldest still-operating restaurant in Cleveland and/or some even greater area
      – the Art Museum has a nice little cafe perfect for people-watching in a *standout* atrium (stood in for SHIELD headquarters in one of the Avengers movies – the museum is free to browse, don’t miss the armor court!
      – Souper Market is a short drive into a bit sketchier area of town, but well worth it for the food

      Welcome to our city, and please don’t tell anyone how nice it is here or they will all want to come, too. :) Safe travels!

  3. I went on vacation recently, for the first time since the pandemic. I was looking forward to some delicious restaurant meals and some yummy frozen drinks. I didn’t realize I picked a state where every bar and restaurant puts the calorie count of every dang thing on every single menu. What a buzz kill! How do you all permanent residents deal with this? It seems designed to make people food obsessed in a bad way — so maybe guac has a lot of calories but it is still something really good for you in a way that the lo-cal watermelon isn’t. Ugh. It was like having a menu Karen with us at all times.

    1. I don’t remember when they started doing it in my state, but it’s a thing and just more letters and numbers on a menu. If I want pizza, I’m gonna have pizza whether its 10 calories or 10,000. I never thought to care.

    2. You get used to it and eventually you barely even realize it exists unless you specifically go looking for it. I understand the argument about disordered eating, but sometimes it’s interesting to see (even as a non-calorie counter) because it’s not what you’d expect – e.g., the broccoli at a chain restaurant near me has more sodium than the French fries. If I’m going to consume that much sodium I’d rather just enjoy the fries!

    3. I ignore it. I know which food has high calorie counts at a general high level and when I go out to eat it is a treat, so I ignore the calorie information. Life is too short for me to worry about one meal’s worth of extra calories.

    4. It’s much easier to ignore information you don’t want, than to get it when you need it and it isn’t there. Nutritional info is important for a lot of people with a lot of conditions, and it shouldn’t be hidden just so you don’t feel bad about a vacation binge.

      2. Totally agree and from a public health perspective makes more sense looking at total population need.

      3. It is usually just calories though. Not sodium, which I think is more helpful, or calcium / vitamins / protein.

    5. Lol wow you just want to be annoyed. It’s been like that for years here it doesn’t bother me at all. If I’m interested I pay attention, if not I don’t.

    6. Here it’s only posted at chain restaurants, so it’s avoidable. I generally consider it and choose a relatively healthy option, though. Honestly it kind of helps to point out that yes, that chicken caesar salad is really 1200 calories and not great for you despite it being a salad.

      1. I like it for the Caesar salad reason exactly- if a pizza is 1500 cals and a salad is 1200…I’m just going to eat the pizza and be happy. I know yes, veggies are important, but the calories on menus have really opened my eyes to what restaurant foods that “seem healthy” really aren’t…and I feel much more fulfilled with the pizza than the salad, so I’m glad to know. I’ll eat a salad at home with lots of veggies and vinegar and no dressing and get my veg that way.

    7. What I’d like to know is whether having to list calorie counts causes restaurants to offer more lower-calorie options, reduce portion sizes, or otherwise change their behavior. I would also like to see sodium content listed, because that’s what gets me more than the calories.

      As a frequent business traveler, I appreciate nutrition information on restaurant menus because I am forced to eat out so often and most of what’s offered in restaurants is just so bad. When I’m on vacation and want to splurge, I have no problem ignoring the calorie counts.

      1. +1 to this, I enjoy the calorie counts in my work life so I can see that the “healthy” option is actually a calorie bomb. When I’m out to enjoy myself and splurge, I just ignore.

    8. I love it. It helps inform my choices. Maybe sometimes I’m willing to blow 1,000 calories on dinner, other times I’m not. And the options that seem low-calorie often aren’t. It takes the guesswork out of it for me.

      1. I agree. It helps me to go into the meal knowing whether I’m eating for pleasure (vacation – heck yes) or eating for sustenance (too lazy to cook). I’m gonna order different things in each scenario, and I don’t feel bad about that at all.

    9. It can be a bit of a shock if you’re not used to it, but honestly, I appreciate seeing calorie counts sometimes, and when I don’t feel the need to count calories, I just ignore the numbers. They’re there for informational purposes, like the calorie counts on the food you buy at the grocery store; no one’s making you take them into account.

      1. Posted below but I agree. Appreciate having it there when I want it, but don’t see it being a problem when I want to say eff it, I want a burger.

    10. I don’t have this in my state but I wish I did. I worked in person throughout the pandemic and long hours meant my colleagues and I relied on takeout. I gained 15 lbs without realizing it. Now I’m trying to lose that weight (and the 5-10 lbs I wanted to lose pre-pandemic) and it’s very easy to do when I cook at home, but I give up on having any clue on how many calories I’m eating when I go out.

    11. I appreciate it, and look at it probably slightly more than half the time. It often causes me to choose a different version of the effectively same food often for 200+ calories less (think a burger with fewer toppings or with a different sauce). It also will make me more proactively split my meal and save half for leftovers if I can see just how ridiculous the calorie count is. Other times I ignore it!

    12. I like it — I can ignore it when wanted but it does help inform choices — I will never get another muffin and Dunkin Donuts again when a crossaint or donut are so much lower calories and tastier anyway.

      1. This. Nutrition information has sometimes led me to realize that the more delicious choice is also the healthier one, or at least the less unhealthy one.

        1. Salads is another major eye opener. I can pick a more filling meal and have the same if not way less calories.

    13. Where is this a thing? I’ve only seen it at a Cheesecake Factory on a business trip and don’t remember where that was – definitely pre-pandemic. I can’t remember the last time I went to a chain restaurant though…

      1. Everywhere in the US if it’s a chain restaurant above a certain number of locations. It’s an FDA regulation.

        I fall in the I like this information camp as it can be useful for comparing items on the menu, especially ones you think might be lower calories but aren’t (like salads).

        1. Huh, I live in California but in SF where chain restaurants aren’t really a thing. I’ve never noticed this.

    14. I’m not a fan of it either. The people I know who are the most obsessed with calories are also the most obsessed with sucking the fun out of every event involving food. Not everyone is like that, but I’ve had enough bad experiences to want to shut down any talk of calories the second it comes up. I fear the calorie counts on the menu at a group dinner would be a “conversation starter“ to those types.

      1. I don’t think listing calories on the menu will change this dynamic. People with disordered eating will obsess and try to ruin everything for others whether or not there’s nutrition information listed. These are the same people who ask the server a million questions about the ingredients and then end up ordering black coffee or a bowl of plain lettuce with no dressing. They are going to be performative no matter what.

        1. This comment is truly offensive. I have suffered with disordered eating for 30 years. I promise you I don’t “try to ruin everything for others” nor do I “ask the server a million questions…or order a bowl of plain lettuce with no dressing”. You could benefit from learning some compassion.

        2. I think you’re confusing “people with disordered eating” and “jerks.”

          Many, if not most, people with disordered eating are the opposite of performative due to the secrecy and shame associated with their illness.

        1. Haven’t you ever been around one of these people? Vegan and gluten-free with no medical reason, Whole30, keto, etc.? They can be insufferable. I had one of these people demand full nutritional information for every appetizer served at an afternoon bridal shower I was hosting. It wasn’t even a meal and it’s not like she would have starved if she just ate the crudites and fresh fruit or whatever obviously fit her diet.

          1. Does anyone really do this with no medical reason? As someone with heaps of medical restrictions, it’s so hard for me to believe that someone would just come along for the ride.

          2. A friend is like this — I can never quite tell if I should be sending her articles on orthorexia. Vegan (“and feel the best since my 20s!,” runs miles each day, recently went from like a size 4/6 to a size 0 and when I said “you look so lean!” she said “yeah I basically don’t eat.” Oh and I’ve now been at 2 getaways with her where she wanted to walk to the local Walmart or whatever to get her “preferred” Kahlua drink.

          3. Anon at 3:15 — Yes. Many people do this with no medical reason other than mental health issues. And yes, it can be performative. They want you to know how obsessive they are about their diet. It doesn’t always translate into a small or large figure, it is just something they think is important and that it is important for you to know about. Often they will ask about your food, not theirs, and question if you really want to be eating that thing “with mayo in it” or “cooked in oil.” It is exhausting for them and for you and I am pretty sure it is usually their mother’s fault.

          4. They are thick on the ground in LA and I cannot.stand.these.people. Seriously, just eat what you’re eating (or not) and shut up about it! My MIL is one of them and it just drives me right into alcohol and carbs once I spend more than 20 minutes around her.

      3. You know, someone else counting their own calories doesn’t mean you have to, unless you make it about you. Are you the same kind of person who chastises people who don’t drink for being “no fun”?

        To OP, sometimes the calorie information is helpful to me and sometimes I choose to ignore it. For me, a basic meal while at work or traveling is something I would pay attention to the calorie and nutrition label for. For a celebration or a vacation, I’m more likely to basically ignore it.

    15. I was a little surprised the first time I saw this too. But it actually helped me make a better decision. I wanted a breakfast sandwich and DH claimed to not want anything, so the calorie count helped me decide on an option that would be sufficiently hearty that I would not be annoyed when he suddenly decided he wanted half my sammich :)

      1. Ok but anyone who does this – says I don’t want anything then eats half of yours – that person sucks.

    16. I love it and can’t wait until we get it in my area! If I’m at the donut shop I totally want to know which donuts are 250cal vs 450 cal.

  4. Airport advice please — I’m flying out of Boston Logan this Sat at 6 am (domestic flight, American Airlines). How early should I be at the airport given 4th of July weekend? The Airbus flight to PHL is full despite it being 6 am. I’m new to Boston and would appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance!

    1. Do you have precheck? Are you driving? Checking a bag?

      When I take 6am flights for work (pre COVID) I would get up at 3:30, leave by 4 and be parked in central parking by 4:30. I have precheck and never check a bag though, so car to gate is at most 30 min for me.

      1. Oh and last time i flew out of logan, the B parking garage was closed. That’s where American is so the walk is super long from central parking. Check morning of (it’s on the website). Add 10 minutes to my suggestion above if you plan to park in central parking and walk to the terminal vs parking in the B terminal parking garage.

      2. I don’t have precheck, I will take Uber/Lyft (I don’t have a car), and am not checking a bag. Thank you for the advice!

    2. Do you have TSA precheck? Checked luggage? If you have carry-on only and precheck, an hour should be fine. 1.5 hours if you have precheck + checked luggage. No idea how long you’d need to allow without precheck but I’d guess at least 2 hours. The lines will be insane this weekend.

    3. I live 8 minutes from Logan by car, have pre-check, flew for work pre-COVID, and used to aim to be there ~45 minutes before my flight for work travel pre-COVID. (Out of all my coworkers, I definitely gave myself the most insurance). For personal travel I usually try to give myself 60 minutes from walking in the door to boarding the plane, but again I’m probably overly cautious.

    4. My replies are stuck in moderation, but I don’t have precheck and will not be checking luggage. Taking uber or taxi. Thank you for the responses – I was hoping the 6 am would mean less of a wait at security despite the long weekend.

    6. Just saw your comment about Uber – that’s going to be your hold up in Boston. Wait times have been absolutely insane with lots of canceled rides. We live in the middle of the city and used to be able to get a car in under 2 minutes 100% of the time and now it’s often over 25 minutes. That’s where you will want to prepare for extra time!

      1. You could try pre-arranging a ride with a cab service to help guarantee your transportation and lock in a pick-up time! They may also be able to advise you on how long the drive will likely take based on time of day and where you are coming from.

        I would suggest arriving at the airport 60-75min prior to departure for a 6am flight without pre-check to give yourself some breathing room in case lines are a little longer or you want a bathroom break / coffee / etc.

  5. I’m 45. My bladder has recently started waking me up about 2 hours before I’d like to get up and I can’t get back to sleep. Is this an aging thing? Any tips to change it? Last night had about 10oz of a nonalcoholic drink with dinner @ 6 pm and woke at 6 am.

    1. Yes, it’s an aging thing. I never even had kids and went through this. Fortunately, I was pretty good at going back to sleep. So you may want to consider ideas for going back to sleep. I never turn on the light when I get up to pee, and I have something dull to count in my head when I get back to bed (sometimes I try to name all the Duggar grandchildren, I know it’s lame, but it seems to help me get back to sleep).

      Interestingly, when I stopped taking the Pill, I had less trouble with this.

    2. I am 44 and same thing is happening to me, except sometimes it’s at 3 a.m. and I can’t get back to sleep. I have to really watch my liquid intake after 4 p.m. – definitely no caffeine and if I want alcohol, I drink a mixed drink with dinner (the carbonation in beer or hard seltzer seems to irritate my bladder) and then have about 6 oz of water, and stop drinking anything at 8 p.m.

      I have basically had to quit carbonated drinks entirely, as this past year I figured out they were causing my overactive bladder. It stinks, but I value sleep more than drinking carbonated drinks. I will have carbonated drinks on Friday or Saturday nights when I have the luxury of sleeping in if I wake up in the night.

      I agree with the other poster that figuring out techniques to get back to sleep is important, as it seems like the older I get, the more likely I am to wake in the night. Agree with not turning on the light to go to the bathroom (light on = my brain thinks it’s wake-up time) and definitely don’t check your phone.

        1. You must not be in your mid/late 40s, this is hardly an alarming call your doctor moment. Fwiw, mine is also my age (mid-40s) and we just commiserate and the advice she gives is not everything has treatments other than things like “pay attention to your body and avoid triggers,” which is exactly what this poster is doing.

          1. It’s so great to have a doctor that is going through (or has gone through) what I’m going through, and gets it. I went in last year and was moaning and groaning about sleep problems and mood swings and etc. etc. and she nodded and said “I hear you, same here” and handed me a pamphlet about perimenopause. She didn’t try to push me into taking an antidepressant or try to sell me on hormones, which I appreciated. She runs all the appropriate tests, does the appropriate exams, etc. but what I’m going through is what she’s going through (and what all my friends are, or have, gone through). Never realized how many body systems are affected by estrogen and progesterone and how fluctuations in those hormones can cause such annoying problems. It’s a wild ride. I am not willing to do hormone therapy as I have a family history of heart disease and breast cancer, so just riding it out as best I can with whatever I can do naturally.

          2. Let me just chime in as someone in their 30s who has gone into medical/chemical menopause within the last two years — you have no idea in your 20s and 30s what all estrogen and progesterone control and how much good it does for you — weight-wise, continent-wise, etc. Enjoy those hormones now, young’ns.

        2. I have. She told me to stop carbonated drinks and see if that helped, as carbonation is a major trigger for OAB. It did. Feel better now?

    3. I thought it was partly genetic. I’ve always gotten up to go to the bathroom at least once a night. You could maybe try things like not turning on any lights and getting a motion-sensor nightlight to avoid become any more alert than you need to.

    4. I got a melatonin spray that I use if I wake up in the middle of the night like that (on Amazon), it’s a tiny dosage and is just enough to get back to sleep (or it tricks me into it, either way it works)

      1. Can you post a link to that product or share the brand you use? I have issues with waking in the middle of the night all the time, and I’d love to try something that has worked for others .

          1. Oh I just do one short spray so not a full dose, the extended release melatonin shy NyQuil is also amazing

    5. Hi – I had this problem, had a big baby at 28. By the time I was 47, I was up at night, also had problems when working out and sometimes coughing and sneezing. I got a Bladder Sling. I had several surgeries for other issues at that time and so it was a freebie since I had met my max out of pocket. I was young for the procedure. I checked it out with the available information at that time, it wasn’t the product in all the atty commercials. It worked great for several years. But then about 4 years ago there was a story on 60 minutes about the mesh I had and how it was made in China and not as durable and long lasting. Caused for concern. It’s been another 4 years and no problems. Doesn’t work as great as it did in the beginning. I believe this is a one time fix and so doing it at young age might be unadvisable.

    6. I have not learned how to not pee during the night (sometimes twice) but I have just had to learn how to go back to sleep. I think that’s the more likely solution for most of us.

    8. Yes, age related, and as others have said, hormone-related. Try keeping a food diary for a month with attention paid for late afternoon through bedtime. For me eating salty foods late in the day equals more water equals more need to pee. I am diagnosed with OAB so take meds for it as well as HRT— my sleep disruptions are pretty severe and if you think it is a peri menopausal issue, try and find a doc who is a member of the North American Menopausal Society if that’s geographically relevant. The other thing I realized just lately is that as I aged, I needed a softer bed. I’m active and it now affects me more just in terms of aches and pains — I have tendinitis in my right arm and I’m a side sleeper. I realized that I wasn’t going back to sleep (or was waking up in the first place) because I couldn’t get comfortable on my side anymore. Putting a softer mattress topper on the bed was a game changer for me, I could actually feel the difference.

    9. It can be an early diabetes symptom, so you may want to confirm your glucose tolerance is good.

  6. I have this shirt! I got it a while back, for when I want something fancier than a shirt with words on it (which is practically black-tie for WFH times).

    1. I don’t have this one, but I have several Old Navy graphic tees. I think they are pretty nice – 100% cotton, decent thickness, and they seem to have a bit of shaping to them and a nice neckline (not a high crewneck, but not too low). For a $10 tee shirt, they’re pretty good, and mine have held up well with washing in cold water and hanging to dry.

    3. Don’t wear it on a cruise! Or at least that’s what I understand from friends who (used to) vacation that way.

  7. I feel like but for yesterday, we haven’t gotten our annual quota of bridezilla drama. It felt like old times!

    1. Wait there was wedding drama yesterday? I missed that. I’m happy the pandemic is (hopefully) ending, but I have to say I did not miss using lots of money and vacation time to fly all over the country attending weddings.

      1. Oh man, I’d kill to be in the wedding demographic right now! I want to dress up and go to beautiful parties! I’m jonesing for my younger family members to have big old weddings even if hey land me at the old relatives table!

        2. Same, I’m a weirdo who actually likes weddings and is always stoked to get invited to one, and I can’t wait to have my own wedding in a couple years! Then again, my partner and I only get invited to 1 or 2 a year, so I can understand feeling drained if you get invited to a lot.

          1. I just had to say no to two this fall, which bums me out. One was travel to a country I’m not yet comfortable traveling to (pandemic wise) and one because it falls on a day where I have a family commitment that is non-negotiable.

          2. I love the actual weddings, but all our family and friends live far away from us so attending a wedding involves spending $2-3k and at least one vacation day. If I could attend a local wedding, I’d be delighted.

        3. My long-term boyfriend’s son is getting married in October. I am unreasonably excited. I haven’t been to a wedding in years!

        4. Yeah, in my experience this was a short period in my early 30s. I’m 44 now and haven’t been invited to a wedding in years.

      2. I think it was about a bride wanting everyone (guests not just wedding party) to wear certain colors.

        If you like that stuff you might try redd1t! There is apparently no end to the self absorption of some people. Including guests and often mothers in law, apparently. It’s not always the bride.

        1. Oh yeah, I’m subscribed to r/weddingshaming and it’s a goldmine!

          The only time I’ve heard of a bride dictating colors to her guests was that one weird bride that wanted to do a “healing dance” at sunset in Hawaii, and everyone had to wear a color dictated by their age, gender, and body size, and they were going to act out evil being chased away by positive energy or something. That’s a classic.

  8. Those of you who wear nice t-shirts under blazers, where do you get them? And, what do you look for in terms of material? Specifically, I’d like some white options.

    1. I’ve had good luck with Talbots and Lands End. I look for thick pima cotton, especially for white. I cannot stand sheer white tee shirts (which is why I have mostly given up on wearing them and stick with grey or darker).

      1. Second Talbots. I struck out with Lands End as they didn’t launder well. I have a nice white one from Eddie Bauer, but when I ordered a couple of more of those in white, they are more ivory than white so I need to return them.

    2. I’ve gotten some decent plain white T-shirts at the Gap, but that was years ago, and they seem to change the material every season.

    3. It has been a while since I bought one, but my sources were Banana Republic (a while ago but great options with a silky neck embellishment), Ann Taylor, and Boss (pricey but good quality and interesting patterns in business colors).

    4. Hobbs and L.K. Bennett make good quality pieces thin and dressy enough to be worn with suiting.

  9. I recorded an interview yesterday (meaning talking to someone for journalistic purposes, not during the process of applying for a job) and I am horrified at the playback. I thought I was a relatively well-spoken person. Between the filler words (UM, UHHHH) and the fact that my voice skyrockets in pitch when I’m “on”, I sound like a squeaky moron.

    Apparently I need some training. I’ve been performing with choirs since I was a kid, so I don’t have stage fright, but I guess vocalizing memorized lyrics is much different than thinking as you speak. I wish the low, calm voice I use at home would transfer to my public life.

    1. Totally normal. I’m a journalist and have to listen to my own interviews nearly every day. It’s awful. I sound so dumb and I hate my voice. Every print journalist I know feels this way. We went into this profession because we liked writing, not talking!

    2. Commiseration. I am fine in person or on audio interviews when I’m well prepared but for some reason I go to pieces in front of a camera, despite decades of performing and public speaking.

    3. Ugh, never watch it back if you don’t have to. My son likes to “watch mummy on telly” when I do news commentary and I have to leave the house so I can’t hear myself. It’s one of those things that gets better the more you do it though. I cut my teeth on random foreign media which helps, since I’m not going to watch Chinese state TV.

    4. This is so familiar. I recorded 50 hours of interviews for my dissertation. At the beginning, I couldn’t stand hearing my voice and speech patterns when I checked transcripts, but by the end I was desensitized and it no longer bothered me.

    5. This is a skill that takes practice like any other skill. Some tips: (1) practice talking to yourself in front of a mirror over and over again; (2) watch recordings and read transcripts of yourself to see room for improvement; (3) memorize any sound bites you want to convey word-for-word and practice saying them; (4) think about talking to provide quotes not convey meaning (a lot of our fillers help communication but just don’t sound good in a quote).

    6. The comments on this post make me feel less alone. I struggle with this as well! I can’t stand to listen back (or worse, watch myself) without a massive short term crisis of confidence. “Is that ME?????” (Cue frantic beauty and workout routine to fix ….all of it!)

      1. I won’t even read anything I’ve written once it’s in print, much less listen to or watch a recording of myself. It’s needless torture.

    7. I’ve gotten better at this because of zoom meetings and sending videos of myself to close family members (it’s how we communicate in longer form than text).

      I started recording myself talking before presentations as well, even though it feels awful to watch back, because it’s really helpful for leaning the content. The first playback is me hating how I look and sound. Then the second playback is where I give myself constructive critiques and alter the presentation as needed.

      1. My personal short term goal is to become comfortable enough to rewatch for content improvement. I’ll try this approach of watching twice, I think that will help!

  10. 1. That pineapple top is cute

    2. To the I love the 90s person from yesterday, something that’s fun is to do a google image search for “90s delias catalog” and just look at the pictures and feel the waves of nostalgia. … Which reminds me of a tik tok I saw a while back during the whole “elder millennial and their outdated skinny jeans” kerfuffle, which had an elder millennial talking about the feeling of the wet dirty hems of baggy pants and how we will never go back. It unlocked such a visceral memory.

    1. Oh Delia’s. My best friend was always dressed straight from those pages, right down to the wet dirty hems of baggy pants. I was in middle school from 1995-1998. Travelling down memory lane here I realized that I’ve lived through a walkman with cassette tapes, a discman (with and without shock protection), an MP3 player [playing tunes acquired via Napster], an ipod, a bloggie, an iTouch (iphone without the actual…phone), and now an iphone. Crazy.

    3. I’m the OP from yesterday. OMG, the wet, dirty hems thing. Gawd. I remember being super miserable on rainy days walking around campus because that’s just how jeans were, and that’s all we wore for casual wear.

      I had a good time perusing some old Delia’s images last night. :)

    4. If you lived in a snowy climate, there would also likely be a ring of salt around the back of your pant leg all winter.

    5. Yup. Even when I bought the “short” Levis my jeans would still drag on the ground and get ripped, dirty, and wet. Modern pants do not cause such a problem.

      Tangentially related, the trend when I was in middle school was baby tees that barely covered your torso, coupled with low rise jeans that just barely met the hem of your shirt, so any time you sat down or bent over or reached up for something, you ran the risk of a stuffy old teacher telling you to cover up. I will savor the current trend of high-waisted jeans.

    6. I remember my dad trying to cut the ripped dirty hem off the back of my jeans and me not letting him. That was part of the look!

  11. TW – weight loss advice.

    I need to lose a not small amount of weight. Maybe 60 lbs? Honestly, just the initial 20 would be such a huge win mentally, let alone physically. I’ve been very successful on WW before and kept it off for a long time. This was pre baby (“baby” is now three so, yea). WW does not fit my life style right now and I also have some other general issues with the company and would like to avoid it. I have a Peloton I love and I’m going to up that usage and just start to move more in general (daily walks, etc). I really need help on the food front. For someone who just needs to start … somewhere… what’s the best tip or trick, place to start? I can’t just carte blanche remove all sugar or carbs as of today, for example. FWIW, I have PCOS and I’m insulin resistant. I know carbs is very important for my personal situation, but I’m not going to go cold turkey no-carb. Tracking every bite just doesn’t seem feasible right now, either. I’m doing to focus on not drinking calories, cutting snacking. Any other nuggets of wisdom?

    1. Whole 30 is good for a jumpstart- it sucks but at least you can have potatoes and it’s pretty unlimited for the foods you’re allowed to have. Following to the letter, I’ve dropped 10lns in a month, which is sometimes all you need to get started. It’s easier to do the less you’re going out too, so if your post-pandemic social life hasn’t kicked in, might be a good time.

      1. Everyone I know who has ever tried whole30, including me, has lost weight quickly and gained it all back and then some. It’s a very classic diet in that way. One friend has done 5-6 of them and is up 35 lbs. OP, I think you’ll be better off exploring the book The Obesity Code. I’ll warn you that it does not go into great detail on any of its themes for women specifically, so you might need to supplement with more information.

        1. Wasn’t my experience, but it’s not that far off of how I normally eat, except it made me cut out sugar and snack stuff I like, so ymmv?

        2. It worked great for me. I dovetailed into the Mediterranean diet and have sustained for about 6-7 years now.

      2. Whole30 is not a diet but a reset towards your eating. I’ve found it very helpful when I start eating too much sugar and pasta.

    2. Treats only on weekends. That makes 5 days of reduced intake and importantly makes what you do partake of on weekends have a higher satisfaction rating.
      You can do it!

    3. – Intermittent fasting might be for you given your diagnosed PCOS/insulin resistance.
      – Protein, healthy fat and fiber at every meal.
      – Go for goal body weight as the grams of protein you eat each day – 150 lb goal weight, 150 grams of protein.
      – Aim for 25 grams of fiber each day. I get a good chunk of the way there by having chia pudding as a late breakfast.
      – If you’re into calorie tracking, 12 x goal weight — so 150 lb goal weight, 1800 calories each day.
      – Go slow and do this right.

    4. if you don’t want to count calories and don’t want to remove entire food groups, then maybe some ideas are things like
      – no eating after 7pm
      – no snacks?
      – nothing out of a bag (for me, this no chips or crackers would be huge)
      – increase water intake
      – a protein, healthy fat, and veg at every meal

      to be clear i would just pick 1 or 2 and go from there but so much depends on your personal habits and preferences. I’ve done Whole 30 twice and while it was incredible and permanently changed my diet because of what it taught me, it is NOT easy and with a small child I can’t recommend it. I also really like the newer WW but if you are opposed for other reasons, then so be it. Noom sucks btw don’t waste your money.

    5. I used a program by Amanda Nighbert (hername dot com is the website) who is a registered dietician and kind of takes a kitchen sink approach – intermittent fasting, carb cycling, food tracking, etc. It’s a big adjustment but also the only thing that worked for me to get my weight loss moving. Her base program is 7 weeks long, and then you can continue for additional programs or a slightly different monthly program. It is a BIG adjustment, but I’ve referred several people to the program and all have appreciated the structure and found they got good results.
      Being active is so important for so many reasons, but weight loss is mostly from nutrition and my experience is that the older I get, the more I need to really drill down on what I’m eating (and how much) to change the scale. Good luck to you!

    6. I have PCOS and my doctor recommends pairing carbs with fat and protein. So, crackers with peanut butter, or pasta with chicken and veggies and olive oil, or bread with avocado and hard boiled egg. It helps with the insulin resistance and is more sustainable than no-carb

      1. I don’t have PCOS, but I’ve been taking this approach to weight loss. It feels much better to me than being crazy restrictive and is something I can actually keep up for life.

    7. Instead of trying to reduce snacking, just buy a whole lot of fruit that you like, and teabags if you like tea, and bring them to the office. I do this so I always have something to eat/drink when I need a break, feel nervously energetic or get hungry at the end of the day. You don’t want to end up going home ravenous and then stuffing yourself with the first thing you see in the fridge.

    8. It helps me to think about what to add, not what to take away. I worked with a nutritionist a year or two ago and rules of thumb that have stuck with me: get a protein source and either a fruit or vegetable in every meal or snack. Once I’m eating carrot sticks and hummus, do I really also need the crackers? Sometimes yes, I really want the crackers. But often once I have the produce and protein I don’t need a lot else.

    9. Without tracking every bite, measuring out what constitutes a serving helps me for the foods where I tend to overindulge. Unfortunately, what I can eat in walnuts or chips or pasta is not a serving size but often 3x that. So when I find myself slipping into unhealthy habits, I measure out or weigh actual serving sizes so that I remember how few almonds add up to 100 calories. I’ll give up pasta and rice when I am dead, but in the interim I don’t have to eat 500 calories worth of processed grains to be happy.

    10. I honestly think the best thing you can do to start is to keep a food diary. You also don’t have to “track every bite” in terms of calories or macros, just the basics: breakfast was a bowl of Cheerios with milk, lunch was a turkey sandwich with cheese and a bag of Doritos, etc. I know it’s a huge PITA, but it’s the best way to see the big picture of what you’re eating and where you can make some changes.

      For example, you don’t need to go cold turkey no carb or no sugar, but can you go less carb or less sugar in a few places? Are you getting enough protein throughout the day to keep you feeling full, or are you only loading up on it at certain meals? Are you getting enough fiber?

      I have also found that keeping a food diary sometimes keeps me from having that really terrible-for-me food because I don’t like the idea of having to write it down!

    11. I focus on “whole foods” – limited processed foods, lots of produce, beans/legumes, whole grains, lean protein. I’ve been pleasantly surprised how hard it is to consume a lot of calories when eating this way!

      For breakfast I eat unflavored old fashioned oats with lots of fruit. I like to add chia seeds and cinnamon too. I have a cup or three of coffee with way too much half and half.

      I usually eat a morning and an afternoon snack – usually fruit, babybel cheese, nuts/trail mix , or veggies with hummus/other dip.

      For lunch I love a big salad or grain bowl. I do a base of greens/lentils/brown rice, a protein (chicken, egg, shrimp, beans) and a ton of roasted veggies. Top with some cheese, red pepper flakes, and balsamic vinegar.

      For dinner I’ll do a piece or chicken or fish with roasted/grilled/air fried veggies. I almost always have dessert- I’m a huge ice cream person so I’ll do something pre-portioned like an ice cream sandwich or Klondike bar.

    12. Take a look at The Fasting Method — an online program run by Megan Ramos, who works with Dr Jason Fung, who wrote The Obesity Code and The Diabetes Code. I haven’t paid to join that program but have read the books and was successful last year in losing about 20 lbs. Then Covid hit and my Dad died very suddenly and I lost my focus. I gained back about 15 lbs, which may seem like a failure, but I didn’t gain back all of it and ate like crap for a long time. However, I still continued to follow intermittent fasting part time (for me that means not eating until noon) and I credit that with not gaining more weight back up to my highest weight.

    13. This is an ongoing goal, but I try to make every “real” meal something that I enjoy eating. I have easy, calorie-appropriate grab n go meals for when I don’t have time to savor my food. It makes me rethink takeout and munching. Am I really going to enjoy that pizza from Papa John’s that can get here in 20 minutes, or would I rather have pizza when I have time to order from that awesome local place that takes 1.5 hours to deliver? Or, I’m super hungry and there’s nothing quick to eat so I’m going to graze on everything in my kitchen while I cook something bland because I’m too hungry to put effort into it – instead, let’s have some string cheese and carrots tonight, then marinade some chicken and chop veggies for tomorrow night.

      1. I can’t recommend having healthy, easy meals/ingredients on hand enough. I like to keep chickpea pasta and Rao’s sauce on hand for nights I’m too busy/tired/hungry to cook.

        I also keep my freezer stocked with frozen veggies, smoothie ingredients, and “healthy” frozen meals.

    14. I had luck throwing $ at the problem pre-pandemic. I’ve always been heavy, but was at my highest point. I ordered 6-8 meals through a local calorie calculated delivery a week. Then I tried to not go overboard with the remaining meals. Seeing what a portion size should be over and over helped, and success begat success. Coupled with exercise I lost 20 pounds. I’ve gained back half during the pandemic, but am really glad I had made that progress because knowing me, I was always going to gain during a pandemic, so I’m at least not my heaviest + 10 lbs. Once I’m back in the office, I want to try again.

    15. When I started paying attention to my sodium intake, I lost weight. I didn’t count anything else, but it really made an impact on the foods I ate.

    16. If WW worked for you, can you just follow some of the things you learned? Such as,
      – Measuring out things such as coffee creamer, condiments, pasta and rice
      – Eating lean proteins
      – Eating more fruits and vegetables
      – Only buying pre-portioned snacks (like SkinnyPop snack bags instead of the big bag)
      – High protein snacks such as tuna, turkey pepperoni sticks, hummus and greek yogurt
      – “Bulking up” your simple carbs with more vegetables, rice substitutes, etc.
      – If you eat out, get the sauce/dressings on the side and dip into instead of pour

    17. Highly recommend the book Ditch the Diet (also known as Healthy as F*ck), it focuses on building sustainable habits to make healthy choices automatic instead of something about willpower and goes through why diets don’t work in the long term (like some people noted above a lot of diets work and then the dieter gains all the weight back and sometimes more). The author also runs a 28 day challenge which is really a great reset – there’s no calorie counting or anything. Lots of meal planning/prep, a focus on eating whole foods/vegetables, no food is vilified. There’s also an exercise component and a general focus on health/wellness instead of being all about weight loss. It worked really well for me post babies and I’ve kept the weight off.

    18. Similar lifestyle, so I feel ya. I subscribed to box meal delivery services like sprinly, daily harvest, splendid spoon. I’d have a ton of ready to eat things already there that I felt obligated to eat and they tasted good. I usually ate one of their meal options for lunch and maybe with dinner (so like that plus the family dinner meal). I eat starchy carbs but never eat them alone for insulin-related reasons. Having soup or a smoothie or “vegetable-y grain bowl meal” to eat before my husband’s pasta night worked out great.

    19. I found, almost by accident that, for me, these routines helped me lose 12 lb relatively fast and I have been able to maintain my new weight for a couple of years.
      (1) Making sure each meal had at least some protein in it.
      (2) Breakfast of tea or coffee and a clementine and half a hard-boiled egg
      (3) Walking somewhere, just not remaining at my desk, for lunch, which was often soup or something on toast.
      (4) Finishing dinner by 8.00 p.m. Dinner needed to be QUICKLY prepared / reheated, I always had a radish, olive, or celery stick as part of the routine while making dinner. The meal was some protein (chicken, turkey, fish, beans), some starch, cooked / reheated vegetable, and a salad, followed by fruit (a piece or a handful) or some defrosted berries or plain microwaved apple or pear with a spoonful of plain non-fat yogurt).
      (3) When dinner was cleared away I got ready for bed apart from cleaning my teeth and then sat down for the rest of the evening (work or pleasure) with ONE square of the wrapped Dove (Promises) dark chocolate if I had not indulged during the day, and a warm drink (often just hot water).

  12. Any recommendations for where to find good salt water taffy in Boston / Cambridge? Or brand recommendations? Trying to get a small gift. Bonus points if it’s accessible by public transportation – thank you in advance! :)

    1. If Cardullos in Harvard Square is still there, that’s what you want. It’s the best store.

    2. Salt water taffy isn’t my thing so I can’t speak to whether good or not, but a couple of ideas are:

      Cabot’s Candy – physical store in Harvard Square which Yelp says in closed until November but also available by mail order
      4GoodVibes – physical store near Union Square in Somerville, has locally sourced gift type food items which may include taffy

      Good luck!

  13. Just a thing to share… I’m in the final weeks of my PhD dissertation and between that and c0vid, it’s basically been years of mostly solitude. Thank you to those who post or comment, including those who post about stuff I don’t care about or never thought to ask. This is the most time I spend with my friends on any consistent basis and even the stuff that doesn’t matter to my own life feels like a brain break from thinking about the stuff I need to think about.

    My budget won’t allow me to be someone who posts looking for a $5000 celebration piece of jewelry and I’m seeking a fulltime online faculty position (ideally asynchronous) so I won’t be posting about a cool new office or work wardrobe. However you’ve all known me through multiple master’s degrees, certifications, licenses, moves, relationships, and pets and I just wanted to say thanks. Not for any one thing, just for being you and being here.

    Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

    1. Oh those last few weeks and months pre-submission are so, so weird and unsettling, particularly given the uncertainty of the academic job market. Congratulations to making it to the come stretch. If you ever want an academia Whatsapp penpal, just post a burner account!

    2. Good for you, you are getting there! I bailed on my PhD after the proposal, and occasionally regret it – but I am so excited when someone I know (even on the internet) gets there or is getting super close. How exciting! And I’m certainly not in the demographic shopping for any of the ‘Splurge Monday’ picks either, but this is likewise still such a fun site to keep an eye on for me as well.

    4. Congrats! When I was finishing my dissertation I had not yet found this site, but it definitely would have been helpful. I can only imagine the feedback I would have gotten here on my life and choices at that time…. ;)

    5. Congratulations on making it this far, and I’m sure you’ll get through to the end. Depending on your field, job searches can drag on for a while, but it’s good if you can re-acclimatize yourself to interacting with people. I finished my dissertation long long ago, and obviously not during a pandemic, and even so I felt uncomfortable around other humans for a few months after I finished. It’s a process – be patient with yourself.

    6. Congratulations! My BFF and I have a standing weekly phone date, and she said it was the only real social contact she had outside of the office while she did her dissertation. She finished last year and loves life on the other side. To have time for friends, hobbies, etc. has been amazing for her. You’re almost there!!

    7. I found, almost by accident that, for me, these routines helped me lose 12 lb relatively fast and I have been able to maintain my new weight for a couple of years.
      (1) Making sure each meal had at least some protein in it.
      (2) Breakfast of tea or coffee and a clementine and half a hard-boiled egg
      (3) Walking somewhere, just not remaining at my desk, for lunch, which was often soup or something on toast.
      (4) Finishing dinner by 8.00 p.m. Dinner needed to be QUICKLY prepared/reheated, I always had a radish, olive, or celery stick as part of the routine while making dinner. The meal was some protein (chicken, turkey, fish, beans), some starch, cooked/reheated vegetable, and a salad, followed by fruit (a piece or a handful) or some defrosted berries or plain microwaved apple or pear with a spoonful of plain non-fat yogurt).
      (3) When dinner was cleared away I got ready for bed apart from cleaning my teeth and then sat down for the rest of the evening (work or pleasure) with ONE square of the wrapped Dove (Promises) dark chocolate if I had not indulged during the day, and a warm drink (often just hot water).

  14. Trying to figure out if I should see a doctor of some kind (and if so what kind…). I’m in my early 40s. I’m about 30 pounds overweight or so – 5’5″ and 170 lbs.

    Since the pandemic started, I’ve been walking 5-6 miles a day very consistently (per my phone’s tracking, anyway) – I average around 12k steps a day. I had started power lifting about a year prior to the pandemic, and stopped when my gym shut down. I finally assembled a home gym (with a lifting set up and a spinning bike) over the winter, and have been lifting three times a week for about 45 minutes (the 5×5 Stronglifts programming, if you’re familiar with that) since January. I also do classes on the Peloton app for 30 minutes after I lift, and also do one longer ride on another day (so, three rest days a week). I had some minor surgery earlier in the spring and had a week where I basically just walked but other than that haven’t missed any days.

    I feel like I eat pretty well – when I track my calories (I’ve done a week of tracking a few times this year) it averages out to about 1800 calories a day. I focus on protein for my lifting days and try to keep it pretty high the rest of the week, too. We do most of our cooking from scratch, and eat a veggie focused diet (we don’t do meat at home but eat eggs and some dairy).

    So I feel like – what the hell? I’m doing the stuff that seems to be recommended without making myself really food focused, but I’m surprised I haven’t lost any weight. My clothing doesn’t fit better (if anything, it fits worse – my shoulders are broader and my t-shirts are now kind of awkward), so it’s not like I’m changing body comp and staying at the same weight. I do have an underactive thyroid and take synthroid for it, and I’ve had my levels checked recently and everything looks fine. I’m stressed, but not more than anyone else right now. Getting a normal amount of sleep for me.

    1. Are you really eating only 1800 calories a day? Like – are you measuring everything you eat and not just eyeballing? If you’re not doing that I’d start that first to make sure you’re being realistic with how much you’re eating.

      1. It sounds like whatever you are eating is just your maintenance caloric intake and not low enough to actually lose weight. It’s really annoying, but the whole adage about how you lose weight in the kitchen and not the gym is largely correct. Yes, you are burning more calories than a couch potato, but there is kind of a limit to how many extra calories you can burn from exercise before you just need to start cutting the intake of calories. Also, all the exercise is probably making you more hungry than you would be if you exercised less. You may not need to make a drastic change, though: reducing your caloric intake by 100 calories per day could be enough to make a difference over the long term.

        FWIW, it sounds like your body composition IS changing (you say your shoulders are broader), it’s just not changing in ways that you’d prefer.

    2. Unfortunately I have never been able to lose weight working out (but I love my Peloton!) and instead can only lose weight through strict dieting. I’m seeing a registered dietitian right now to get on the right eating program for my body, but at least for me working out more doesn’t help with weight loss, so I’m not sure that increasing your fitness routine will help with weight loss.

      1. Same. I’ve been on the Peloton probably 5x a week for 16 months. Haven’t lost a pound but generally feel good about my body and that’s good enough for me.

    3. Are you on any form of hormonal BC? For me that causes constant weight gain. My OB claims it’s not possible, but my PCP says she sees it all the time. Going off it always returns me to baseline weight, so I’m listening to my PCP on this issue.

      If your shoulders are broader I’d say you probably are changing body composition.

    4. Honestly the answer is nearly always that you are eating much more than you think. Absolutely get a check up, but unless you are actually weighing and measuring everything you’re just eating at a level that isn’t inducing weight loss.

      And for what it’s work I’m your height and your current weight is my dream goal weight.

    5. Definitely get bloodwork and talk to your doctor, but frankly, it’s probably age related. I am in my early 40s and having the same issue. What used to work doesn’t work anymore. Sigh.

    7. Thanks, everyone. Your responses pretty much confirmed what I’ve been thinking – I need to decide how much I actually care about losing weight, given that I don’t have any health issues that are linked to it. If I want to really focus on food I’m sure I could drop some pounds, just not sure it’s worth is for me… (Hugs to the poster who said this is her dream weight – and thanks for the reminder that it really is a fine weight for me, just a lot heavier than I’ve been most of my life.)

    8. It may seem counterintuitive, but if normal sleep for you is less than 8 hours, I would try adding a half hour. And focus on eating almost exclusively protein, vegetables and fats.

    9. Well first of all you’re not 30 lbs overweight so recalibrating your expectations may take the pressure off. I’m about your size and a few years younger, there’s very little chance I will ever be able to maintain 140 lbs with my body type, at least without significantly limiting my life in ways I don’t find acceptable. That said, I’ve set 135 as my goal weight in all my weight loss apps so I totally understand the struggle to accept your body at a reasonable-for-you weight.

      There was a good discussion the other day about calorie intake. Personally, I need to cut calories significantly to see any movement on the scale. I started seriously trying to lose weight at the beginning of the year, I started close to 180 and I’m currently about 20 lbs down. I meticulously weigh every bit of food that goes into my mouth, and I was tracking on 2 different apps to get a more accurate calorie count (you’d be surprised at the variation). For the first 3 months, I was consuming no more than 1200-1300/day, and the scale barely moved at all, less than 5 lbs in 3 months. Not enough to keep up the motivation. I’ve been to the doctor, had all the blood tests ever, nothing is wrong. For the next 3 months, I cut calories down to ~1k/day during the week (LOTS of greens and brothy soup so I didn’t feel hungry), 1300/day on the weekends, and the scale started moving at a better pace, like 1 lb/week. Now I’m back to around 1300/day and the weight loss is slower but still moving in the right direction. I think I needed to go to radical lengths to shake something loose and get my body to move in the right direction. My mother and grandmother have had the same struggle. This isn’t based on science just my personal experience, so obviously ymmv and talk to your doctor before going on a very restrictive diet.

    10. I’m in a similar boat. I lost the first 15 lbs during chemo (0/5 stars, do not recommend), but am focusing on intermittent fasting, portion control and drinking water instead of other beverages. I’m working toward this goal at a glacial pace, but I spent 15 years putting the weight on, so it’s not likely going to vanish in a day. Consistency has always been a real challenge for me.

    11. My situation is almost identical to yours, from height and starting weight to current activity, and even the under active thyroid that’s being medicated. Have you had a complete blood workup? Are you having any other medical issues? I posted about this the other day, that I’d faithfully followed a number of diet plans for years with zero results; even gaining a few pounds a year. It took getting some previously undiagnosed IBS truly under control, and then treating the vitamin deficiencies it caused before I lost any weight. Treating all that also meant my body can properly use Synthroid (before, it was improving my TSH and free T3/T4, but not improving my symptoms)

      That being said, I can’t lose weight on 1800 calories. I’m doing 1400-1500 and losing about 1 lb a week.

      1. Thanks – I’ll have to go back and read your earlier post!

        I do think that I have undiagnosed IBS, but wasn’t connecting it with my weight at all. You’ve given me an additional thing to ask my endocrinologist about when we have our annual visit next month – I’ll see if she thinks that’s something I should get checked out further, because yeah, my thyroid-related bloodwork is all looking good, but I don’t feel like I am getting as much relief from it as I did when I started 5 years or so ago. I was actually thinking that the extra weight might have caused the synthroid dose I’m on to be less effective, but what you’re describing could absolutely be my issue as well.

        1. I’d definitely pursue the IBS issues. It caused the weirdest issues for me – effectively my body thought it was starving since it couldn’t absorb nutrients properly. Happy to chat more if it’s helpful, just post a throwaway email.

        2. My endocrinologist put me on cytomel in addition to synthroid. It helped me beat hypothyroid symptoms while still avoiding any hyperthyroid symptoms.

          I also tested positive for anti-parietal cell antibodies and low stomach acid, so I was put on B12 injections which helped with a lot of various symptoms. Though when I was finally tested for anti-intrinsic factor antibodies, I had those too, so no wonder.

    12. “when I track my calories (I’ve done a week of tracking a few times this year)”

      I would bet a lot of money you’re actually eating more calories than you think you are.

    13. I posted a couple of days ago something similar — 45, eating 1700 daily with strict tracking, not losing. Lots of people chimed in that 1700 isn’t low enough. (But above someone noted that you should multiply your ideal weight by 12 and eat that many calories, which is easily 1600-1800 for me.) Stuff I’m doing:
      – going to focus on sleep (I’m also the lady waking up early to pee)
      – at least 25g fiber daily
      – less than 25g added sugar

      You may want to look at the Galveston Diet — she has a lot of good advice on TikTok about premenopausal women.

      I’ll also note that I can grab-ass 200-300 calories a day and completely forget about it when tracking – bites of mac & cheese, a string cheese, a kombucha. Very very easy.

  15. Having guests for the 4th of July weekend and trying to come up with a light dinner for Saturday night before the big BBQ on Sunday. It’s supposed to be screamingly hot here so I’d also like to do something that won’t have my oven on for hours. Any ideas?

    1. I recently made a dish that was quinoa, corn, tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella. The only thing that requires cooking is the corn. It’s light but has enough protein and fiber that it’s a filling meal.

        1. I didn’t use a recipe, just tossed together what looked like the right amount. Sorry!

    2. Pasta salad! I make mine with tri-color rotini, and mix in marinated artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, canellini beans or chick peas, shredded mozzarella cheese, baby spinach or similar greens, herbs – toss it all together with a mix of olive oil/red wine vinegar. Maybe add some shredded rotisserie chicken for additional protein. That way the only hot part is straining the pasta.

      1. Not to yuck your yum, but to yuck it, beans are hard for a lot of people (I can’t eat them without having major digestive issues) and I think artichokes are just nasty (and I’m from CA),:especially the canned kind that find their way into pasta salads. OP – personally, this is where I’d keep it easy with pizza and a green salad & save the effort for the next day.

      2. My lazy summer go to is cold rotini with pesto sauce, cherry tomatoes, and feta/mozz… served alongside room temp rotisserie chicken that’s been quartered. If you have a grill, grilled corn and yellow summer squash brighten up the plate a bit, too. Some crunchy italian bread with a side of olive oil and crushed red pepper, and fresh fruit with whipped cream (homemade?) to top it off….

    3. Orzo or couscous with roasted veggies…that’s my default summer dinner. I like cherry tomatoes, zucchini, squash, red onion, sun dried tomatoes and corn in mine with any fresh herbs I have. You could add precooked grilled chicken if you have it or some white beans to up the protein. I don’t really use a vinaigrette or anything since the tomatoes burst and make their own liquid which turns into a sort of dressing but you definitely could!

      I don’t mind the oven being on for the 20 minutes it takes to roast the veggies but you could probably grill them too.

    4. Taco bar with crock pot salsa chicken (chicken breasts and thighs, packet of taco seasoning, jar of salsa, can add in a can of drained corn or black beans if you’re so inclined).

    5. Niçoise salad? You can cook most of it ahead of time and avoid the oven altogether if you want to just use one of those fancy tuna in olive oil glass jar things. Kids or picky eaters can avoid anything they don’t like (my kids just do green beans, potatoes and salmon). And serve with good bread for anyone who wants a heartier meal.

      Also – you can cook the green beans in the microwave and it’s so easy and delicious (put in bowl, add a couple TB of water, cover and steam for 3 min; drain excess and add a pat of butter and some sea salt).

    7. My go-to light meal is brown rice, vegetables, and Purdue Perfect Portions chicken breasts – they only need 8-9 minutes on each side at 350 degrees, which is hardly hours.

    8. Grilled sausages (a mix of chicken based and veggie would be what I’d put out), toasted buns, lots of condiments and a salad. I love to do a semi homemade Caesar with bagged romaine, jarred dressing, boxed crotons, and pre shredded Parmesan.

  16. Has anyone ever had a scotoma? If so, do you do a lot of computer work or have dry eyes? I think my husband might have one (he’s getting checked out) and it seems more likely than any of the rare, serious causes for temporary vision loss.

    1. I don’t but I looked up scotoma and the pictures they show look a lot like my migraines auras. Does his blind spot come and go or stay all the time? Does he get headaches?

      Definitely an Opthamologist but I know how irresistible it is to try to figure it out via google beforehand.

    2. I’ve had scintillating scotoma associated with migraines (aka aura), but it’s possible to have aura without the migraine. Best advice is to see the eye doctor. The first time I experienced it I completely freaked out and went to the eye doctor immediately. In my case, the headache followed the aura by about an hour so I didn’t immediately associate the vision issue with my migraines. Evidently that sequence and timeframe is not unusual.

  17. Can confirm that the ON EveryWear tees are fun and hold up well. I have one with a strawberry print, and another with small palm trees. I pull out all the cutesy patterns for summer clothing. No shame.

    1. They hold up for a season or two – I do think they shrink after washing though and size up.

  18. Any suggestions for an easy homemade or good store bought dessert to bring to a 4th cookout? About 25 people and a mix of kids and adults. Are cupcakes out? We are in the south so it will be hot. I’d love something color-themed but am just stumped on this for some reason.

    1. How about skewers with angel food cake, strawberries, and blueberries? Festive, you could buy the cake, and it’s not going to get gross in the heat.

    2. Cupcakes are great, I also find pies and crumbles a crowd pleaser. Food shouldn’t follow trends, unless we are talking jello salad.

    3. I love no5ing more than a homemade brown butter Rice Krispie treat – simple, forgiving, snapped up by everyone. Add some sprinkles in red, white and blue if you want to really go all out.

    4. Flag cake! White sheet cake with strawberries and blueberries on top. Smitten kitchen has a recipe but you could just get a mix and bake it in a 9×3 pan. She also has a sheet pan cheesecake with berries on top that is festive, maybe a little less heat friendly.

    5. I love cookies- those big over sized cookies that they sell in the multi packs in the bakery section. Especially this time of year you can get those sugar cookies with red white and blue sprinkles. I mean it’s not super fancy, but they’re easy to eat with one hand.

      1. I’d either do the bakery sugar cookies (I like the crispy, sprinkly ones, personally) or the rice Krispy treats suggested above.

  19. Question for the wise women here who have nannies or family members needing health aides. How do you work through reducing hours for your employee when your needs have changed? I have a FT employee paid hourly for personal care services for a family member, and since I am working from home I do not need her services for more than 4-6 hours a day at this point. I’m very cognizant that I’m taking money from her pocket if I reduce her hours, and she also was impacted last year very heavily due to the pandemic and our having a high risk family member. I can afford to pay for her services, but her services are very expensive and it’s money that I’d like to save, all things being equal.
    How do I wrap my head around this? Or, do I?

    1. 1. Are you certain that you can handle juggling WFH and caregiving without undue stress?
      2. What are your long-term plans re. WFH? If you really like the caregiver and plan to return to the office in a few months, it might be worth continuing to employ her FT to maintain her availability.

      1. Yes, I’m able to juggle both due to the nature of my job and the caregiving that needs to be done.
        I don’t expect to go back FT for quite a while due to the high risk family member.

    2. This often comes up for nannies as kids get older and go to school, and the answer seems to be… you don’t if you want to keep the same employee. Typically I’ve seen families add duties to the nanny’s plate (housekeeping, cleaning, errands) without reducing their takehome pay, except in rare circumstances where the employee’s circumstances align and they WANT to reduce hours or take on additional work from another source (e.g., nanny has a new grandbaby that she can take care of in the morning so wants only after school hours; another family wants to have nanny just for Fridays so she’ll still be getting paid the same amount but from two different sources).
      The alternative is to have a conversation with the employee and explain the situation and confirm they want to operate under the new hours and pay expectations. If they do not, you generally have to start thinking about replacing and a mutual separation.

      1. Along the lines of the nanny, a lot of people try to arrange nanny shares for their nanny when they no longer need her full time.

        I’ve been on the other end of this, though, and it didn’t work out well for my family to be her “second” family because she was salty about the arrangement to begin with – she just wanted to keep working full time for family #1.

      2. This. I would assume that if you reduce this person’s hours, they will quit. And you may have a hard time finding a good replacement who is willing to work less than part time. We don’t need a full time nanny but pay our nanny full time because she’s wonderful and the candidates that were willing to work part time were decidedly less wonderful.

    3. I would try to find a solution if possible so her income is not reduced.

      Any way you can see if someone in your neighbourhood could employ her part time? In my Nextdoor group, people post all the time looking for caregivers. See if she would be interested in doing something like that. The risk is she will start looking for another full time role, so you have to weigh the risk of losing her altogether.

    4. I think that what it comes down to is the tradeoff between financial need and keeping this particular employee. You can have a conversation with her about reducing her hours, and maybe that will be fine with her – but it may not be. Are you going to be working from home permanently? Because if not and you could afford it, I would probably keep paying her rather than risk losing her. If your situation has changed, then I think you have to consider how hard it would be to find someone who is PT that you like/trust as much as this person.

    5. I personally don’t view my needs as changing just because I’m working at home – I still have a demanding job and WFH just means I get a little more sanity time for myself. I don’t believe in scraping my costs to the bone and my sanity/getting some benefit from not commuting is worth it to me.

    6. Thanks, everyone. Seems like the consensus is that it’s best to keep paying if I want to keep her around and happy.

  20. Where to buy large glass jars for pantry dry goods? I struck out at WalMart, Target, and the restaurant depo.

    1. What kind of tops are you looking for on the jars? Do you mean glass canisters with glass tops (with or without a seal) or some other type of jar?
      I use Weck jars for storage and I got my jars from Crate and Barrel and the tops from the Weck website, which has great options but does take awhile to ship.

      1. No strong opinion on lid type, as long as it keeps pests out and freshness in. But I’m storing large bags of sugar, flour, etc., so I assume bigger sizes come with more heft.

        I have a few old deli pickle jars that work well, but they’re hard to come by these days.

        1. I think, then, you’re going to need large jars with tops that seal to keep pests out. I use Ball half-gallon canning jars with metal or plastic caps that have a rubber seal in them. I found my lids at my local Ace Hardware but it looks like several sites sell them. Mason jars are great for storage because once you buy a set of lids (either wide-mouth or regular-mouth), the same lids fit multiple sizes of jars. Also, jars are dirt cheap and widely available at Wal-Mart and other places so if you break one, replacing it isn’t a big deal.

          1. I love these jars too but they’re not big enough for a 5 lb bag of flour. I do need the canister type jars for that. I posted below about getting mine at Sur La Table.

    3. Cost Plus/World Market has the kind with the rubber gasket and the lid that clamps.

    5. If money is an object, see if your local deli has or will hold their pickle jars for you.

    6. Mine are from Sur La Table, if you’re talking about large glass canisters with a hinged lid.

      But I also buy two quart Ball jars for everything smaller quantity than flour and sugar, for things like dry beans, nuts, etc.

    7. Our local hardware store sells them with the canning supplies. Not the big box Home Depot, but rather the Ace Hardware type stores.

  21. I’m hosting a pirates of the Caribbean themed birthday party for a friend who has been struggling recently. Dinner for 10 couples (all vaccinated so we can nip that in the bud). Trying to do it on a reasonable budget but really want to make it feel festive and like we are celebrating her.

    Please throw any decoration ideas my way. I’m thinking whiskey barrels, skulls, tiki torches, conch shells, a treasure chest, birds of paradise florals, lanterns. Oriental trading is my go to, any other sources I should be thinking of?

    Senior Attorney, I’m looking at you! Ladies please help me pull together a festive party in the next 3 weeks!

    1. If you have a party supply store near you, they often have themed decorations. I know I’ve seen beachy/Tiki type stuff there before.

    2. I would rent all this stuff. The florist I used for my wedding had a lot of flower-adjacent items to rent, like lanterns and candles and arches. If you’re getting fancy florals anyway, you might want to talk to a florist that does events. My wedding was 20 people and my flower budget was $2400 in a MCOL area, ($800 of that was for the ceremony, $400 for bouquet/boutonnière/parents’ flowers). I looked at DIYing it and my florist ended up being much cheaper, plus I didn’t have to set up or break down anything.

    3. So I generally like a festive party but loathe having random decorations around I’ll never use again. I’d pivot to “spoils of pirate life” as my party planning guide. I’d go with gorgeous flowers, specialty rum cocktails (might splurge on a bartender and ask him/her to wear a pirate hat (breaking my decor rule a smidge). I’d tell the guests to dress in a pirate-inspired way, and would personally wear big gold earrings, a lot of ruffles, maybe a head scarf. And tons of candles on the table.

    5. parrots? I feel like i’ve seen blow-up parrots, or at least a parrot-shaped balloon, at places like Party City.

    6. I always think more about the original Pirates of the Caribbean ride than the movies, but that may be because I grew up going to Disneyland all the time.

      So, for the modern iteration of the ride, you need some sort of octopus-faced dude overhead as you enter the party. I could see this being a fun DIY where the tentacles dangle so much everyone walks through them like a curtain. Wench dresses and pirate costumes, including pirate getups for women. You could provide things like eye patches. Chests of “gold” and faux jewels. Little toy accordions. Jugs of booze.

      My lifelong favorite part of the ride is two guys in a small jail cell calling to a dog that holds the key. I don’t know how you make that happen for your party but I would probably spend 75% of my effort on that!!!

    7. Have a look at your local goodwill for vintage bottles, preferably brown or green, maybe a wine stand, dramatic shawls, old kegs, small toy swords, lace everything, old curtains for drapery, maybe some lanterns, flashy costume jewelry. When the party is over – donate everything back to goodwill.

      Get fairy lights for mood lighting and use tin foil to do mock filled caskets of gold (dollar tree gold coins). Get jute plant nets at a nursery to hang as “fishing yarn” (or get fishing yarn). Maybe a an aquarium themed shower curtain for decoration, some jolly roger flags (again – donate to goodwill afterwards).

      Don’t get a lot of paper or plastic tat that will be trash, for the things where used and regifted could be a thing.

    8. In addition to the great suggestions above. I’d get chocolate gold foil “coins” and strew them about with a lavish hand. also ring pops and candy necklaces for pirate treasure.

  22. I know in the last few months there have been comments/questions from people new to the gulf coast or elsewhere where there are hurricanes. New Floridians, this weekend will be a great time to make sure your hurricane game is up to par. It’s unlikely to be too bad no matter where it hits (TS or Cat 1).
    ~I’m cooking through as much as I can this weekend – it’s as good of a time as any to purge older stuff in the freezer. Until the danger of a storm’s past, I use the reclaimed space for ice.
    ~I checked that I have what I thought I have of charcoal and propane. If you depend on morning caffeine to stay out of prison, make sure you’ve done a practice run on your grill or however you plan do to it. You do not want to be trying it out for the first time when you’re uncaffeinated. Trust me on this.
    ~I looked at my flashlights and what batteries they take, and made sure I had fresh ones during tax-free week, but if you missed that, now is as good of a time as any.
    ~I mowed my yard and will do so again early next week to shorten it up a bit. Grass is growing quickly right now, and as weird as it sounds, having your grass short is really nice when you’re playing pick-up-sticks with all the branches that fall in the yard. If there is a storm of any severity, you’re not going to be able to mow again until you pick up all that crap, so make it easy on yourself.
    ~If you keep your car in a garage, do you know how to open the garage door if there’s no power? If not, google it and practice once or twice.
    ~I’m on city water and gas, so don’t much worry about storing water and all that, but if you’re on a well, this is a good time to try out your plan (fill up bathtubs? borrow big coolers? etc).

    1. If you need electricity to grind the coffee, make sure you do that in advance! We had some longer than usual power outages last winter and boiling water on our camp stove worked for me, the tea drinker, but not my bf, the coffee drinker, because he didn’t have any coffee already ground.

      1. I always keep a jar of instant around for true caffeine emergencies. It’s not tasty, but gets the job done.

        1. Congratulations! A couple of years ago I finished a Ph.D. very late in life and reading this website was my only non-work-related contact. It gave me a relaxing pause and I learned so much from it. So thank you and to OP for saying it.

        2. And if you are not fond of instant, I find Folgers coffee singles (coffee bags) drinkable.

  23. Breaking up with someone I have dated for two years today. I know the relationship doesn’t have a future, but I still care about this person and I know its going to hurt them. I could really use some words of encouragement

    1. It is truly better for this person – even if they don’t know it right now – for you to break up with them now rather than wasting another day, week, month, or year of their life. I am so grateful that my ex-husband was willing to pull the plug after only 2 years of marriage, because I was in denial and even more years of my life could have disappeared down the drain if he hadn’t done it. (I was devastated then, but very quickly I realized that no matter how much it hurt, it was the right call.)

    2. You’re doing the right thing. This will be painful for both of you, but if the relationship doesn’t have a future, it’s better to end it now. Hugs.

    3. Better today than any point in the future. You’re doing the right thing for both of you.

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