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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 211 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Short Tweed Structured Top

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Express Short Tweed Structured Top (and: Express's Semi-Annual Sale!)Express is having their semi-annual sale right now, and there are some crazy deals to be had. I'm liking this structured tweed top, where for once I actually like the exposed zipper in the back. I'd wear it with a long pendant necklace (midriff length at least), and a pair of ankle-length pants and ballet flats for a casual day at the office. I might also try it with a bright skinny belt (belted a bit high) and a pencil skirt. It was $59.90, but is now marked to $29.99 (and take an additional 40% off in your cart). Express Short Tweed Structured Top Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2) Psst: On non-clearance items, try code 1407 to save an additional 25%.

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Comments

  1. Shana

    I actually picked this up thinking the same thing. Skinny crops on a casual day in the office with a pretty necklace… It arrived yesterday and it is cute and great material, but super short. Like without high waisted pants would be stomach baring short. I’m 5’6 and actually pretty short waisted, so its not a too tall for the item thing. Also beware the shoulders can make you look a bit like a linebacker as they are very structured. Needless to say, it is going back.

    • Bonnie

      I love this shirt cut on others but it doesn’t work on me; makes me look like a tent.

  2. S in Chicago

    Skybox basketball game with financial crowd (DH advised not to wear jeans and it’s his connections so I won’t). Any advice on what to wear?

    • Nice

      Something Sabrina-inspired? Flats (not Revas, but something with a bit more structure), trim black pants, blouse.

    • Anonattorney

      I would have said nice jeans with boots, slim top in team color or blazer. But, if it’s really no jeans, then maybe you go fancier. Just don’t wear super high heels and clubbing clothes. I always get a little sad when I see women at basketball games in skintight, revealing clothes. They just look so out of place to me. I would say “desperate for attention in the wrong venue,” although I worry some people might take offense to that.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I wonder if this is a Kardashian phenomenon or something that was already happening.

        • Anon

          As someone who saw these types of outfits at hockey games in the 90s, it is most definitely not a Kardashian phenomenon.

          • Burlap Suit

            That’s interesting.

            Now, it’s a very androgynous look (jerseys, which you cannot make s*xy, unless perhaps you’re wearing only that). If you’re looking to hide a baby bump / former baby bump, I highly recommend a hockey jersey.

      • anon-oh-no

        i agree with you, but in chicago, its not out of place. there are so. many. women. who dress like you describe at Bulls games and Blackhawks games, and even Cubs games. its crazy.

        • Anonattorney

          I know! It’s not out of place in Portland (of all places) either. I wonder how they sit in those dresses.

    • TO Lawyer

      Definitely no heels. I agree with the slim black pants suggestion or maybe a more casual skirt with a t-shirt on top?

    • hellskitchen

      A nice sweater dress and boots. It’s still cold and nippy in Chicago so this could be cozy but still a level up from jeans.

    • Shay-La

      I think being in a skybox for tonight’s game changes things. If it’s a financial crowd, are they coming straight from work? If so, I’d imagine they’d stay in their nice work clothes, and you could wear something to match. I’ve never worn heels to the United Center (my comfort, really) but would think heels, non-jean pants, and a nice sweater would fit the bill.

      • S in Chicago

        Thank you, everbody. I was leaning maybe sweater dress and flats or a sweatshirt or jersey style casual dress, so sounds like I’m not too off. If I had a pair of black pants right now that weren’t so faded , that would probably make this easier. I love the Sabrina reference–that oddly helps a ton. I personally think it’s weird not wearing jeans to a sporting event. But then again, haven’t been hosted in a skybox before. I’m also not very sporty.

  3. aargh-auto play vido add

    There is an auto-playing video add for “Noah” that i can’t figure out how to turn off…..i also can’t mute it for some reason. Usually I can either hit the pause or (x) on the add…but i can’t seemed to find either on this add. Anyone know how to STOP. IT.?? (using chrome)

    • Sydney Bristow

      Pop up ads that include sound should be permanently banned everywhere. They startle me every time. If I were Queen of the world I would get rid of them altogether. Sorry I have no idea how to help you!

    • marketingchic

      Kat – I was going to say the same thing – it auto plays and the “sound” icon does not work. I’m using Chrome.

    • aargh-auto play vido add

      Sorry for title typo. Should say “video” not “vido”..was trying to type quickly to get off the page so ad would stop.

  4. mini frittata

    All that talk about noisy strangers and pregnancy yesterday reminded of something kind of funny. A few years ago, I was travelling alone in rural Asia, about a month after an unprotected LGP, and “aunt flo” was really late. I was super thin, but suddenly strangers started asking me if I was pregnant. Everywhere I went, about eight or nine times a day, someone would point at my belly (or even touch it!) and make a sign like rocking a baby. I was convinced they had some kind of ancient knowledge and knew something I didn’t!

    Turned out it was a weird cultural thing – because the best thing that can happen to a woman, of course, is to get pregnant. I was just late because I was emaciated from not eating enough yak meat.

    • Ellen

      Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love fruegel friday’s and mabye even this top (tho OMG, the bottom look’s alot like pajama’s, Kat).

      As for the OP, I wish I were pregenent, but I do NOT even have a boyfreind yet, and I would NOT eat YAK. But Myrna has a big weekend planned for me. She is driveing me out to my mom & dad’s where we are goieng to eat fritatta’s (and I am goeing to drop off the tax stuff I lost from the COOP and Frank), then after we stay over tonite, she is takeing me to Robert Moses State Park b/c there will be a contest on the beach she is goeing to participate in. Then, if we don’t meet any worthy guy’s, we will go over to Huntington to a pizzaria she knows where I will have CHEEZE Calzone’s (yay!), then we will go back to my mom’s house for dinner and sleepeing, and we will come back to the City on Sunday and go back to see the Dinasour exhibit at the Natural History Museum. I love dinasour’s!

      Willem e-mailed me a picture of his home in Belgum. It look’s a littel like places in Weschester, but everything is minitaure over there, tho his grandmother has a bigger tuchus then Mom! Mabye that is why Willem does NOT object to my tuchus. I still am not anxius to have him haveing sex with me in one of those miniature house’s. I think the bed’s are all made out of straw. FOOEY! I do NOT want a straw matress. And they drive littel car’s. DOUBEL FOOEY b/c I perfer a nice SUV; either a Merceds or an Acura. YAY!!!!!!

  5. Useful registry items?

    I’ve received feedback that our registry is boring and small. I tried to be sensitive to the fact that many of our friends are graduate students and people are travelling quite a bit and so have nice but boring items (an Oxo vegetable peeler, nice spatulas, etc).

    We live in a smallish flat with a small kitchen and need boring things like pillows and new duvets and a dresser, not fun things like fancy coffee makers (although we have asked for an extravagant Sage tea maker). We have nice everyday dishes and I can’t imagine we’ll ever need / have space for fine china.

    What was the most useful thing you’ve been given or have given yourself? Are there fun, practical things that I can add?

    • Famouscait

      Nice knives and cookware. Yummy sheets and towels. For those, I recommend the Nordstrom HydroCotton brand – they are the best towels we have at my house.

    • Sydney Bristow

      We haven’t registered yet, but one thing I plan to register for is a nice vase. It’s something we would use often since I love having fresh flowers around but it’s one of those things we just don’t seem to buy for ourselves.

      Board games can be a fun registry item if you guys like them. Kitchen accessories in bright colors or interesting shapes to replace some items you use regularly can be a little more fun and still practical.

      • Meg Murry

        Someone on thissite once recommended registering for the versions of board games that all come in the same size wooden box so you can keep them on a bookshelf – I thought that was a great idea!

        On the more boring but practical and affordable – more sets of silverware than you ever think you will need. Because in 5-10 years if you are like me you will be saying “where did all my spoons go” only to discover that your flatware set is now discontinued and you will pay as much per spoon as you will for a 4 piece setting of new non-discontinued flatware.

        Or if you have family with storage space – my parents bought us an extra 4 place setting set of our dishes and then stored it in their basement, so when we reached the point where we needed/wanted 8-12 matching place settings for a nice dinner we could have it.

        Are there more shapes of dishes you don’t have now but could see a use for that match your current set? Smaller or larger bowls, for instance?

    • TheElms

      What about Le Creuset oven to table pieces. They come in bright colors, are attractive looking in case you need to store them in plain view, last forever, and everyone I know loves them.

      Also what about artwork or decorative pieces that can hang on walls, since you say your flat is on the smaller side?

      • Useful registry items?

        That’s an excellent idea, I adore the teal Le Creuset stuff and it really isn’t too extravagantly priced (particularly at the outlet).

        • AIMS

          Le Creuset also makes an excellent teapot. It’s about $50, comes in fun colors, and makes the best tea.

          Things that are more on the “fun” side, gift wise, that I have gotten a surprising amount of use from & wouldn’t have gotten myself: one of those small guacamole bowls (also great for grinding spices) and an ice bucket (I love to drink outside).

          • Useful registry items?

            I have the volcano one, a friend bought it for my birthday a few years ago and it is the BEST! A bit heavy when filled to the brim but it makes me smile every time I use it.

          • Scout

            I love that teapot! It’s beautiful and adds a spark of color in my kitchen. It’s also been my go-to wedding gift as of late.

          • Olivia Pope

            The teapot was one of my favorite wedding presents! It sits on my stove and looks very pretty.

    • Marilla

      Here is the truth: You really need an Oxo vegetable peeler and all that useful stuff (especially the Oxo peeler b/c it is the best peeler ever and doesn’t make your hands hurt from peeling potatoes!!). One of the best presents I got was the crock of Oxo utensils. But most people don’t want to give a vegetable peeler, or a spatula, for a wedding present – it just doesn’t seem symbolic/romantic/”nice” as a present. So what we were advised to do was to put stuff we didn’t need on our registry – picture frames, vases, trifle bowls, cake stands (I have 3 cake stands already from gifts!). Then, when you get the little email notification from the store that it’s been purchased for you as a gift (because you get the option for them to deliver it to the store, or to you, or return it), you return it for registry credit, but make sure to send a thank you card about the item they purchased. Then you use the registry credit to buy the things you really, actually need (for us it was china and some other kitchen things). It is really really lovely that people want to buy you pretty things, but when you’re just starting out in your little apartment, you don’t have space for a lot of pretty, useless things and you really need practical, useful things.

      This is why I usually give cash or a gift card to the registry as a gift.

      • rosie

        I would be a little miffed if I bought you a silver picture frame with hearts on it because I thought you actually wanted it and then you turned around and returned it right away. But, I have no problem buying practical gifts or going off-registry if I don’t like anything on the registry (although I do typically include a gift receipt).

        I would not register for things you know you are going to turn around and return. Your guests are going to shop from your registry because they want to get something you’ll want and use. And in my experience, guests that wanted to get the “romantic” gift did so even though we didn’t register for it.

        • LV

          Who cares if *you* don’t like the stuff on the registry? It’s not for you! Obviously the couple getting married liked it and would be happy to have someone purchase it for them, which is why it’s on the registry in the first place.

        • zora

          Well the problem is people are whiny about buying a vegetable peeler because it’s ‘boring.’ So, if people are pulling that cr8p, I think you have every right to pull some cr8p right back at them.

          • rosie

            I guess I just think a simple “we would like anything from our registry, but I am sure we would also enjoy anything else you pick out” + change of topic is a better solution than making a fake registry and planning to return whatever you get from it.

          • Marilla

            That’s the thing — it’s not every item on the registry, and it’s not most people, but there are people (usually ones you don’t know well) who insist on giving things like mugs covered with sparkly hearts or heart-shaped prep bowls or those super 1980s crystal platters shaped like grapes and lettuce leaves. So ok, if you really want to buy that for me, either it’s going to linger in my MIL’s basement for the next 50 years, or I could put it on the registry, let you “buy” it, and then actually get something useful and helpful to a newlywed couple. I am just as grateful and appreciative of the fact you took time and money to pick out a present for me. FWIW, every couple I’ve mentioned this to has been really appreciative of the tip, as I was when it was suggested to me. You just get a lot of stuff that you don’t need or want (whether it’s on the registry or not).

            Also, keep in mind that couples may be making their registries 6-10 months before the wedding (I got super pressured to make a huge registry IMMEDIATELY right away for engagement presents from people I didn’t know). There were certainly things we put on our registry that we then changed our mind about by the time the wedding rolled around.

            Either way, everyone received a very sincere, individualized, and prompt thank you card.

    • roses

      The most surprisingly useful gift that I was iffy on registering for was a handheld vacuum – it mounts on our wall so it doesn’t even take up space. Other items I loved were really nice Oxo storage containers (seriously, I can’t tell you how useful these have been); closet organizers; upgrades to our towels and sheets; board games; lamps; and humidifiers/fans/air purifiers.

      • Senior Attorney

        Similarly, the most useful gift I got was the Oxo handheld dustpan and whisk broom. I used it pretty much every day for the whole 14 years I was married.

    • poppy

      I wish I had registered for more practical kitchen stuff, like a variety of knives, a good cheese grater, etc. Things I am glad I registered for that might be good for your list:

      Bath towels (RL brand at Macy’s – they were a good price and great towels, still going strong 4 years in)
      Cookbooks – Joy of Cooking. I use it all the time! I registered at Crate ‘n Barrel. They have a lot of things that were kind of unique for a registry, but I loved it! I also got a watering can and herb garden book from there.
      Small vases – just some basic clear vases for small center pieces
      Picture Frames
      Kitchen towels
      Wooden cooking utensils

      I also put some “fun” cooking/kitchen items on there. But when it came down to it, I didn’t have room for them and would probably not use them much, so back they went.

      At a local store where I registered, the lady there would encourage me to put certain things on my registry b/c they were a good price point. Then I could return them for credit towards a big item. That worked pretty well for me!

      • NOLA

        I know there was a silly superstition about not giving knives for a wedding gift but my favorite wedding gift was a really good chef’s knife that I wouldn’t have bought for myself.

        • Baconpancakes

          The way you traditionally get around that is by giving the gifter a penny. That way, you’re technically buying the knives. I’d do that for close friends and family, but it might be weird to give a boss a penny for knives.

          • tesyaa

            Does anyone really believe that harm can come from giving/receiving knives as gifts? Or do people just enjoy the role lplay? Superstition drives me crazy (and I live in a superstitious cultural community so I’m surrounded by it).

          • NOLA

            Tesyaa I completely agree. It’s silly but I brought it up because there may still be people who would be uncomfortable buying them for wedding gifts.

          • Baconpancakes

            I think it’s a tradition and ritual thing, mostly, but the symbolism of it can have a big impact. A Jewish tradition is giving bread and salt as a housewarming, so that you’ll never want for either in your new home. Do people think it will actually change their fortunes or income? Probably not, but it makes them feel safe and comforted by the gesture, because on a fundamental level, bread and salt represent life and home. So maybe getting a knife will trigger something subconscious that makes us feel threatened by the gifter, thus degrading the relationship. (I love the intersection of psychology and folklore in so many traditions.)

        • Godzilla

          I know I can google this but what is the knife superstition? This is fascinating.

          • zora

            It’s just that it’s bad luck to give someone knives. I don’t remember it being more complicated than that. (except maybe it’s a leftover worry from the old days that once the new couple moves in together for the first time that they will want to kill each other and you don’t want to make that any easier for them to do by giving them weapons?)

          • Philanthropy Girl

            My grandmother always said it would severe the friendship between the giver and the receiver. She held to this whether it was a wedding gift, Christmas gift, birthday gift.

            I wonder if this differs by region or family heritage.

    • Bonnie

      Another vote for nice cookware, knives and Le Creuset. It’s nice that you’re trying to be sensitive to the income levels of your friends but remember that sometimes friends will go in on a nice gift together.

      • KLG

        +1. I have a good group of friends from collegeand we always pool money for wedding gifts for someone in the group. We’ve gotten people $350 knife sets, expensive silver, china, etc. and no one breaks their individual budget.

      • Marise

        +1. Fifteen years ago, we received an all-clad cookware set. Best. Present. Ever. We use them almost every single day.

    • k-t

      Photo frames, either for the wall or table top. You will want to frame several wedding photos to display at home and possibly at work.

    • rosie

      I think mixing “nontraditional” and “traditional” stuff works well. Some ideas:
      – board games
      – movies
      – hobby stuffy (hiking equipment, etc.)–in my opinion, if it’s stuff you will both enjoy, it’s appropriate for a registry
      – plush throw blanket
      – serving things (chips & dip, platter, salad tongs, etc.)
      – big mugs for soup/tea
      – cookbooks
      – kitchen gadgets (cookie cutters, food scale, immersion blender…just think about what you like to cook and might use)
      – placemats, tablecloths, napkins
      – trivets
      – kitchen towels
      – apron
      – soap dish or soap dispenser

    • Sparrow

      I have some nice knives by Henckels and Wusthof that are still in great shape after 15 years. I also registered for a Kitchen Aid stand mixer. Some other ideas:

      – wine/cocktail glasses
      – if you like to mix drinks at home, then a bar set with a shaker, ice bucket, etc
      – kitchen towels or pot holders
      – All Clad saute pan
      – Cast iron skillet
      – along with your tea maker, maybe a set of fancy tea cups

      • Useful registry items?

        Wow, this is an incredibly helpful list. I think I got a bit freaked out about the idea of a deluge of stuff coming into our lovely little apartment. We do need photo frames and knives and things.

        I have the world’s best hand mixer so no need for a kitchenaid but was thinking about a food processor (I feel like I spend my whole life chopping vegetables). My partner wants a roomba but I think that’s just so he can terrorize the cat.

        • roses

          Absolutely get a food processor if you have somewhere to put it. It’s life-changing.

          Everyone I know who got a roomba regretted it, however. Except maybe Tom on Parks and Rec.

          • Carine

            +1 on the food processor. I never thought I needed one until my mom gave me an extra one she had lying around. I use it all. the. time.

          • Useful registry items?

            My future in laws are moving to Canada and asked if we wanted their Magimix. I’m absurdly excited by the prospect of not having to chop mushrooms!

        • ANP

          YES FOOD PROCESSOR. I registered for a tiny one when we got married, but received a big ol’ Cuisinart two Christmases ago and I use that thing weekly. It’s amazing!

          Other ideas: a good iron or clothes steamer, yes to lots of extra flatware b/c of the disappearing factor, fun tea towels or dishcloths, yes to towels/washcloths too. Coasters for your apartment, other decor items (even welcome mats, umbrella rack, boot tray)…?

          Hubs and I registered for a down featherbed, too — goes under your fitted sheet for delicious soft goodness while you sleep. We’ve since purchased a larger bed so our eldest daughter got the featherbed and she loves it — like sleeping on a cloud.

    • Anonyc

      Perhaps the best single gift we got was a d-y-s-o-n vacuum cleaner (and we were living in a small apartment, and have continued to do so). That was off registry, and is pricey, but seriously is the thing we’ve used the most. Perhaps register for a small model?

      Other things we got that were great included luggage and a good knife set with accompanying wooden block. Things I have subsequently purchased for myself (ruing a bit that we kept our registry small) are various bakeware items (9″ rounds, 9×9 square, bundt pans, good cake/pie cases for transport, muffin tins); higher-end tupperware (lock n lock has become my favorite); slow cookers (2 qt and 6 qt, because I am a soup nut in the winter); tall and shorter vases.

      I always feel funny about buying linens (sheets and towels) but those are also great to have, and I’m sure I’d have registered for nicer versions of what I’m willing to buy for myself.

      One friend didn’t want to register for fancy china so she got nicer-than-normal dishes for everyday use, which strikes me as a good alternative.

    • Ideas

      My surprise favorite thing that we registered for was a bunch of platters and nice serving spoons for entertaining. We use them more often than I expected and they really make the table look beautiful. I wish we had registered for a few tablecloths, but we could not find ones that we really liked. There are also household decorative things that are not just clutter – think small lamps, bookends, rugs, large maps or art, basically whatever makes a home in a Pottery Barn catalogue look pulled-together but that you don’t actually have unless you are a world traveler.

      • Ideas

        Another idea — if you are religious and part of a religion that involves decorative (and somewhat generic) ritual items, you might consider registering for those. I had a Jewish friend who did this for a shower and ended up with amazing candlesticks, a seder plate, menorahs, etc. that she would never have bought for herself.

        Also–what about event or activity things ? This could be stuff (like camping or sports equipment) or experiences, like season tickets to the opera, a museum or botanical gardens membership, national parks pass, a cooking class. The latter would require an alternative registry that isn’t based on a store, but there are a bunch of different platforms to do that.

    • Char

      Speaking of what’s appropriate for registries – just got the wedding invite from my DH’s friend and a couple of the things on their registry made me raise my eyebrows a bit: a $850 dslr camera and a $200 24″ flatscreen tv. Am I off in thinking that those are weird items to be a wedding registry?

      • Sydney Bristow

        I’ve seen video game systems on registries and just wondered whether anyone actually buys those items. The camera doesn’t actually seem like a bad idea and I assume people would pool their money to give that. It would be incredibly useful for a couple who travels or is going to have kids. It’s common in my group to include camping gear and I’d put the camera in the same category.

        I’m not sure what it is about a tv or video game system that rubs me the wrong way initially. They both fit in the hobby category of camping or travel gifts. My gut reaction is that it seems odd but I’m not sure that it is.

        • Useful registry items?

          Yeah, it’s just a weird one. Maybe if I knew both parts of the couple were super into gaming together I’d be more okay with it?

      • SW

        I think it looks weird too, but some places give couples a discount on items that are on the registry but not purchased. I always assume they did it to get the 20% off or whatever.

      • Eleanor

        I used to think it was odd to put such expensive items on a registry, and then a few of my friends got married and I learned wealthy older relatives sometimes actually buy those things for the couple. As to the nature of the items, while a TV or whatnot isn’t a kitchen implement, it still falls in the category of furnishing your home, so I don’t think it’s strange.

        • anonforthis

          Yep. I just put a heinously expensive item on my baby registry because my mom told me that my aunts (I come from a large irish catholic family) wanted to get together and gift it to me and preferred I put the exact one I wanted on a registry to make it easy for them to purchase. Since it’s incredibly generous of them to do so, I put it on the registry to make it easy for them as requested.

      • mascot

        I’ve seen guns and ammunition on a registry…I feel like that has to be worse luck than a knife

      • anon

        You usually get a discount to “complete” your registry after the wedding so they may be thinking it’s a good way to get a discount on stuff they want anyway.

    • Lynnet

      Probably my favorite gift from my wedding (of the things it’s possible to register for) was a set of really nice mugs. I had a lot of cheap mugs, but I really can’t express how much I love my handmade nice mugs.

      If you’re into tea, I have a couple of great Aladdin tea mugs with a little mesh basket for the tea that you can raise and lower. You could also ask for some interesting/off the wall teas that you might not buy for yourself.

      I really, really wish I’d registered for more nice knives. They’re a good price point for the registry, and so, so useful. I’d register for them individually if your friends are poor grad students.

    • LH

      Who tells someone their registry is boring!? I’ve thought it many times but never said it.

      • zora

        this. Exactly.

        If you want to get your friends something for the wedding, you want to get them what THEY want, not complain about it. super rude and ungrateful.

    • Mountain Girl

      Frequently I will fill a batter bowl with all sorts of kitchen gadgets and utensils. I arrange it a bit like a bouquet and wrap it in clear cellophane. It presents nicely and is a good way to give those things that we really need. If there is something that I can personalize for the couple and include it in the bowl I do that as well (maybe a book or tickets).

      If I find a really good sale on kitchen utensils I will just stock up and have gift items on hand.

  6. Nice

    Tervis Tumblers — you can get them all sorts of crazy personalized. If you ever have children or move a lot (or don’t want to deal with coasters), I highly recommend.

    Engraved wine coasters?

    And on the coaster theme, Saddleback Leather has lovely leather ones.

    And to upgrade your lifestyle, silver, especially servicing pieces, is something you won’t use up or outgrow and is easy to move (so pick patterns but encourage people to use flea markets / estate sales / etc.) Extra spoons are always good b/c someone puts one through the garbage disposal every year :(

    • Carine

      I had the same approach as the OP for my registry: limited, practical, affordable. Five years later, out of apartments and settling into a house, entertaining a lot more, I often wish I had put at least a couple really nice, traditional items on my registry, including silver. I was so happy to receive some hand-me-down family silver this Christmas and have used it a few times already.

      • Silvercurls

        Thrift shops can be a good source for silver. Thrift shops that are mission-driven (benefitting hospitals or schools or congregations) often get lovely pieces donated. In St. Louis, MO suburbs I recommend The Miriam Shop or The Switching Post. In DC area try the Op Shop or the Montg. County Thrift Shop, both in Bethesda, or the NAMI Thrift Store in Rockville. Of course YMMV–there may be nothing of interest the day(s) you visit the store!

        • Katie

          A lot of thrift shops I know of are now selling silver to collectors/ antique shops because they’re worth so much. There’s very little in my neck of the woods in the last few years- my stepmother is an antiques dealer and used to find silver for cheap, but no more!

    • Katie

      Anybody seen the price of new silver place settings? Absolutely nothing below $800 per setting, silver has skyrocketed in the last few years. We weren’t actually going to register for silver for our wedding, but I looked around because I was curious. Glad I have some family stuff I’ll inherit someday. I can’t imagine how upset I’d be to lose a $200 spoon!

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I was given a family set that has six place settings plus serving pieces. I should probably get that appraised for insurance purposes and see if I need a rider. Anyone ever done this?

        • Carine

          No, but I’m interested in the reply. I hadn’t even thought about it but should probably do the same.

        • WestCoast Lawyer

          My carrier requires a rider for all silver. Based on this I definitely need one, I had no idea silver prices had gone up so much!

      • CountC

        Oh this is helpful! I have a set of silver handed down to me and never thought to mention it to my insurance carrier.

  7. DontBlameTheKids

    Anyone remember when Express used to sell those plaid skirts with matching sweatshirts that said “Express”? I think that’s all I wore in high school. I miss the nineties.

    • Useful registry items?

      I think the 1990s are back. I work on a university campus and it’s like Portlandia out there.

      • Baconpancakes

        I was very preppy in the 90’s, and I’m pretty sad I missed out on the plaid and ripped jeans the first time around, so I’m indulging wholeheartedly now.

    • Outing Myself . . .

      . . . because I’m much older.

      Anyone remember the “Forenza” line that Express (or was it Limited?) offered in the 80s?

      • marketingchic

        Yup. Spent a lot of babysitting money on Forenza t-shirts.

        Also noticed the Limited has brought back their Outback Red brand. I’m going to go curl my bangs now . . . .

        • Burlap Suit

          I’m going to date myself, but I think that the uniform at my high school was from Au Coton for a year or so. SO GLAD to have been attired in LL Bean in those days. Not cool, but I wish I still had those ragg sweaters.

      • PHX

        Yes. (Also, had a really weird urge to perm my hair this morning. It passed quickly, though.)

        • Carine

          I love that sweater! Also this review just made my day: “Needing a tropical vacation but without the ticket? Hankering for spring colors while it is still mighty chilly outside? This is the sweater for us! Good fit, wonderful colors that blend with many choices.” SOLD.

    • Carine

      I loved those sweatshirts!! They were so cool. My very favorite sweatshirt was a B.U.M. Equipment one, though. It was enormous, the perfect color blue, and made me feel like the belle of the ball, no joke. Love the nineties.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I desperately wanted one of those sweatshirts! That any anything that said ESPIRIT. Sadly that was also the time when I didn’t have money to buy my own clothes and my mother would never buy me one.

      • Anonymous

        Haha! I coveted Hypercolor and had a purple shirt. Seemed like a good idea until it started changing colors where I sweat more. . .

      • zora

        SRSLY!! they were the best. It was just always fun to run up to a friend and make a handprint. Never got boring ever! Well they were awesome till they started fading out/not working after too many washes, NO FAIR!

  8. Burlap Suit

    Does anyone else get the Tory Burch e-mails? I just got one for a burlap suit (together: about $1,000). I come from farm people. This would make their heads explode (except that they would think that it was a typo for burlap sack). The suit looks nice and all (if a bit young), but burlap?!

    • Senior Attorney

      That reminds me of the “I Love Lucy” episode in which they all went to France, and Lucy and Ethel were all agog over the Paris designer clothing, and Ricky and Fred played a trick on them by giving them dresses made out of burlap sacks and telling them they were designer originals, and they proudly wore them on the streets of Paris even though they looked ridiculous. And the punchline was that some famous designer copied the “burlap sack” dresses and put them on the runway!

      And yes, I was born when dinosaurs walked the earth…

    • NWanalyst

      Wow. All *my* farm relatives would laugh their @sses off, then start telling me that this is exactly what’s wrong with us city slickers. I thought the whole point to buying high-end was that the clothing was *higher* quality that you’d get otherwise. Or, barring that, something delicate and exotic in its impracticality, i.e. conspicuous consumption.

      I guess proving that you’re willing to spend upwards of $1K on burlap might qualify as conspicuous consumption, but I’ll stick with silk, thanks.

  9. TheElms

    Similar subject to useful registry item’s post but what are people’s thoughts on how much you should spend on a wedding gift? I know there are regional differences, income variables, but just what are people’s thoughts with whatever caveats you want to add.

    I was always told to cover the cost of your plate if you are able, so in my area that is typically $150 a head. I also tend to subtract out the price of a shower gift if I go to a shower. Does that sound reasonable to others?

    • mascot

      Southeast, married couple, we spend $100 -ish on a gift, plus a shower gift (if not invited to shower, I don’t up the wedding gift)
      I’ve never followed the cover your plate rule, it’s generally not done here.

      • Anon

        +1 to everything mascot said. Also, whether or not we have to travel for the wedding doesn’t impact how much we spend on the gift(s).

          • Senior Attorney

            +1 for all that

            I’m in So Cal and “cover your plate” isn’t really a thing here.

          • Anonattorney

            I’ve never “covered my plate.” PNW couple, usually spend around $50 for people we don’t know very well. Closer to $100 for better friends. The highest we’ve spent is $250 for very close friends.

            My group of friends, though, are mainly relatively recent law school grads or other people in early 30s. We have lots of debt in the form of student loans and mortgages. Most of us also (by now) have babies or are on our way. Even if we are making decent salaries, we just don’t have that much to spend on stuff.

            I would say that generally Portland is one of those places where anything too traditionally “materialistic” is frowned upon (sometimes unfairly). With the hipster culture and the trend for repurposed everything, it’s really uncommon for people in my circle to be buying gifts for friends that exceed $100.

      • poppy

        I don’t think you are supposed to give a shower gift and a wedding gift. Wedding/Bridal showers are just separate parties to collect the gifts your guests would otherwise send or take to your wedding.

        • Anonymous

          This is not true at any shower /wedding I’ve attended. 2 gifts are expected and given. (NY area)

          • Senior Attorney

            Same here. Back in the day, showers were for smaller gifts, and often they were themed — kitchen shower, lingerie shower. And you wouldn’t buy off the registry for a shower gift. I’ve been surprised in recent years to hear of people buying major gifts off the registry for showers.

        • Anonymous

          Incorrect. They are separate. You are never required to give a gift, but if you are so inclined, there would be a gift for the shower and a gift for the wedding.

          Cover your plate is not a thing in my circle. When I was going to weddings, I gave $100 to $200, depending on how close I was to the couple.

    • Monday

      No gift is ever required. If you choose to give one, spend an amount that feels comfortable and appropriate to your relationship with the couple. The plate “rule” strikes me as turning the celebration into quid-pro-quo. It’s ok if people think I’m gauche for not participating in it; I think they’re gauche for expecting it.

      • Em

        It also means you’re giving more expensive gifts to your richer friends which I think is ludicrous.

        • TheElms

          My friends are pretty similar in terms of the extravagance of the weddings they have so at least in my personal circumstances the amount spent on presents has always been similar. I suppose if someone had a modest wedding I would still use the $150 per person figure because you’re right it makes no sense to give presents based on elaborateness of the wedding. We’re also getting married later in life so tend to be established in careers with disposable income.

          I’ll add that I’m in DC.

        • Anon99

          I think this is ridiculous also, I give cash gifts for weddings and give a larger amount to couples who have less $ of their own.

          (I am also way off the high end on this – I like giving large gifts. So even my smaller gifts to well-off couples are $300-$500.)

    • Anonyc

      Spend what you can afford, first of all. No one should spend more than they can swing, full stop.

      For weddings that are for friends, I’ll usually spend $250-300ish for SO and myself on a gift. (Thankfully no one has really had a wedding shower, at least in our circle of NYC lawyers.) For family I’ve just been flat-out writing a check for $350-400, as the weddings are now for my cousins and they could use the cash. Cousins have had wedding showers and I generally don’t subtract out the shower gift expense, but again, it’s only happened three times so far and family is a different category for me.

      I sort of think in terms of cover-your-plate, but having been married, I know that even $150/per person wouldn’t quite do it for most of the friend weddings we’ve attended. OTOH, most friends are older and have been working long enough that I don’t especially feel they need assistance setting up the marital home, or whatever you may want to term the acquisition of wedding gifts.

    • Orangerie

      I agree with Monday. My range is around $100-150 depending on how close I am to the couple. If I’m invited to the shower, I don’t subtract the price of the shower gift from the wedding gift, so total would be closer to $200 if I’m doing shower + wedding gifts. I’ve only been to a couple bridal showers, though… and they were both for very good friends.

      • Orangerie

        I should add I meant $100-$150 for my portion of the gift if not attending solo. If it were my friend and I brought BF, I’d pay for his portion of the gift and vice versa.

    • Katie

      Whatever you can reasonably afford and want to give. I hate the “cover your plate” idea. Why should your friends with a lavish wedding get more than your friends in grad school footing the bill? How can you even know what the cost is anyway?

      • AIMS

        Well, you can know if, like my mother, you call the venue and find out how much they are spending. Surprisingly, a lot of places will give you this information.

        That said, I also find the “cover your plate” approach to be supremely tacky. If you can’t afford to pay for your guests, don’t invite them. That said, I have been to weddings where that is definitely the cultural norm and I mostly give in on those occasions because it’s considered insulting not to..

        • Sydney Bristow

          Wow! I would never think to do that, let alone expect that they would tell me.

          I feel a little cheap compared to others, but I normally spend $50-75 on a gift or my share of a couple’s gift. I’m in NYC but most weddings I’ve been invited to are on the west coast.

    • FWIW

      Married Couple. Northeast (small/medium city). We generally go – Closest family/friends who are like family $250 plus a shower gift

      Standard issue wedding (normal closeness, no super special anything) $200

      ‘We were totally just invited so we would give them a gift’ — $100… This has actually happened only twice and one of those times it was a bizarre event wherein they did a destination wedding beforehand and threw a big party afterwards where they publically called it their ‘reception’ but made it clear to the guests that our gifts were expected to be cash and would pay off what they’d spent on a wedding. The having a reception-post-destination wedding wasn’t weird, but they invited 300 people and did things like sold jell-o shots to turn a profit…

    • baseballfan

      I usually give in the range of $100. Showers are separate. Normally to showers I’ve been to, the gifts are normally fairly inexpensive and functional (blenders, etc).

      The “cover your plate” concept is totally ridiculous. A person’s budget for their wedding doesn’t have any relation to the budgets of their guests and/or their closeness to various guests. Our wedding didn’t have a dinner or alcohol, and honestly the cost per person of the reception was about $10-15. I wouldn’t have been offended by $10 gifts – although we did get a few – but I can’t imagine that anyone took that into account when shopping.

    • Kontraktor

      We move all over and have friends all over, so not sure region is super relevant. We do $150-200 for a really, really close friend, especially if we can’t make it to the wedding. $75-100 for a mid range, $25-50 for somebody who we got a polite invite from/don’t know too well/etc.

    • Reiss Smithfield

      We give around $100-$150 a couple if we are attending the wedding, depending on level of closeness. Family would get more. For the times we were invited to but did not attend the wedding, we gave around $40-$60, which is about what the other folks gave us for our wedding.

    • LA

      I give $100 if I’m going solo or if I’m not going at all, $200 if both DH and I are going. I don’t adjust the amount based on shower gifts or travel.

    • abogada

      For casual friends or more distant relatives, I usually spend between $50-100. For a very close friend (which has included exactly 1 wedding in the past 10 years), I’ll spend more. If I’m invited to a shower or engagement party, I’ll frequently send a gift in the $30-50 range, even if I don’t go to the shower/party.

      I don’t subscribe to the cover-your-plate philosophy, but $50-100 would have more than covered the cost of a couple’s plates at my wedding, so if people chose to spend more on their weddings, they are welcome to do so, but I’m not going to concern myself with trying to guess their budget and pricing my gift appropriately. I also won’t look back at my wedding gift list to see how much people spent on me, and use that to determine what to spend on them (both my mother and mother-in-law requested a copy of my gift list to use for that reason).

      I’ve also skipped wedding gifts a few times. At my friends’/family’s weddings, I’ve skipped gifts because I forgot until after the wedding and the registry was sold out (so too late to order from registry or to take a card with cash to the ceremony; although I am aware I could mail or deliver one). For my SO’s friends, we’ve skipped gifts because I offered to purchase the gift and chip in if he would give me a price he wanted to spend and hand me his credit card to place the online purchase (that’s usually how we do things) and he just never did. I follow up with him enough for household expenses that we need (and I handle our joint finances for the exact reason that I am generally more responsible and timely when it comes to bill-paying); I draw the line at chasing him down to make sure his friends get a wedding gift.

  10. Dh needs braces

    Not the invisible ones, not one the inside of his teeth. He’s put it off for years but it’s really necessary (it’s this or a lifetime of intense dental work.) Anyway, he’s a 30 year old attorney who may be looking to leave his big firm soon. We got a great orthodontist, and he agreed he needs to do this, but he’s pretty upset about it. Does anyone have a tip on what to say or do to make him feel better?

    • Anon

      That I worked with a handful of attorneys in BigLaw who also had braces (the metal kind on the front of their teeth) and it was NBD. I think everyone understands that if you have metal braces on your teeth as a 30/40 year old, there’s a damn good reason for it, and that you probably feel self-conscious, so they don’t say anything.

      • Char

        That’s good to hear because I will most likely need to get braces in the near future; and it’s not going to be the invisible kind unfortunately. I always wondered about what it would be like professionally for me to have braces in my late 30s. Not looking forward to it at all but just want to get it over wit it as well.

        • Dh needs braces

          Thanks! I really hope his experience is like yours anon. I told a friend, who’s opinion I trust, and she said she’d rather a lifetime of dental problems over braces as an adult. It just seemed short sighted and silly, but it also made me worry for him.

      • hoola hoopa

        This. Two coworkers have had them. No one ever even mentioned them to their face or behind their back.

    • Senior Attorney

      I had braces in my 40s and I ain’t gonna lie — my quality of life took a pretty big hit. They’re painful and the thing I hated most was the whole “food getting stuck in the braces” thing. That said, it goes by pretty quickly and the results are so, so worth it.

      I even had rubber bands at one point (upper to lower) so that it seemed like I was talking through clenched teeth all the time, but I just brazened it out and I honestly can’t remember anybody remarking on the braces, other than maybe a few people who shared that they’d had ’em as an adult, too, and it sucks but it’s worth it.

      Good luck to him! I promise it’ll all be worth it in the end!

      • Char

        That’s so encouraging to hear! I was feeling super self-consious about getting them when I’m an “adult” in my 30s but it’s nice to know that it’s still worth it.

      • Dh needs braces

        He’s worried his confidence will take a hit. Last night he told me he wanted to cancel an annual party we have because he’s too embarrassed to be seen with them. I had a little reality check moment with him ( you can be upset but can’t put life on hold). Then he said no one would hire him if he had braces, which seemed crazy to me.

        • Senior Attorney

          I got my current (awesome) job while I had my braces on. True story. Tell him really, truly, nobody notices or cares much at all.

        • Coach Laura

          Regarding braces and interviewing – I interviewed for – and got – a great job (client-facing) just after I had surgery for skin cancer. I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from my nose and had the 1-inch incision covered by a humongous gauze pad. To the interviewers’ credit, neither asked about it or reacted but later when we were co-workers they marveled at my composure, and of course they could see the healing incision after I started the new job.

          Just keep telling him it will be ok.

    • Carine

      An executive-level, 40-something woman I work with had metal braces when I first met her and it didn’t seem to hamper her professionally at all. I noticed initially but I don’t think it was more than a “huh, good for her!” type thing. I can’t even remember when she had them taken off, it was such a non-issue.

      • Anon

        Same. If people got it too young, they often have to redo it later, and I’ve seen it happen. NBD.

        • Meg Murry

          Yes, this is why I’m afraid of my son needing braces – I know so many people that got braces young, lost or didn’t wear their retainers in high school/college and are now getting braces again in the their 20s/30s. I definitely plan to discuss with the orthodontist when the time comes whether getting braces early is really necessary (fix it before it gets worse?) vs the likelihood of needing to repeat braces as an adult.

    • Godzilla

      One of my coworkers got them in his late 40s. It’s really not that big a deal.

    • Lily-Student

      If he wears glasses, try to see if he can wear plastic ones rather than ones with wire frames – I had a few friends with wire framed glasses and braces at school and there was just too much metal going on! Also a chunky plastic frame can distract from the braces if he’d like that

    • NbyNW

      My DH has braces currently (age 45) and my BIL of the same age also has them. I think they’re NBD in the workplace but they can be painful. Buy him a waterpic as a present – it’s useful for keeping clean and keeping food out of teeth. DH also takes his sonicare toothbrush everywhere, so maybe get him a new one with a carrying case.

      Plan/order takeout – good, soft food after the appointments – cream soups (lobster bisque anyone?), mashed potatoes, soufflés, smoothies and milkshakes, custards and flan and crème brulee. Chewing may hurt.

    • MU JD

      Do it, it’s no big deal. I was in court a few weeks ago with a 40 something attorney who had metal braces. I didn’t even think about it until just now. And when he’s done, make sure he continues to wear his retainer at night so that all the time and money he spent doesn’t go to waste.

    • anonforthis

      I had braces during law school and while interviewing for jobs. Traditional bracket/wire (not invisalign) but I did get clear brackets on my more visible top teeth (metal brackets on the less visible bottom teeth because it was cheaper). Yes it’s awkward to wear them as an adult, but it’s only temporary and like others have said, no one commented inappropriately on them. (Some of my friends did ask why).

    • ORD

      I saw my son’s friend’s mom yesterday and noticed that she has those clear braces. I’ve known her for years, but not really well, and realized that I have no idea if this is a recent thing, or if she had them before and I didn’t notice, or if she had them before and I noticed but forget because it’s not a big deal.

      He should listen to this podcast about the “spotlight effect,” where you think people are focusing on you, but really everyone is just paying attention to themselves. They had the test subjects wear this humiliating t-shirt with Barry Manilow’s face on it, then questioned them whether everyone noticed the shirt, and then questioned other people if they noticed the shirt, and it turned out the t-shirt wearers thought everyone was noticing their stupid shirt but really hardly anybody noticed.
      http://freakonomics.com/2014/03/12/its-fun-to-smoke-marijuana-full-transcript/

    • Seventh Sister

      I’m old and from a part of the country where plenty of people didn’t have parents who could pay for orthodontia when they were kids. So when I see an adult with braces, I think, “Wow, good for them!” I think it’s tough to have braces as an adult.

      • Dh needs braces

        Very interesting ord! Also, seventh sister, that is my husband’s situation (although his older sisters teeth they did have the money for I guess). I feel a little proud we are able to fix it, but a little angry when they explained how much simpler it would have been if it had been done earlier. In any event this all really encouraging. Nbynw I will try soft food suggestions. Also, Lily student, great point on the glasses, he’ll need new ones soon anyway.

        • Lily student

          I see what you mean about the if it had been done earlier – I have a respiratory problem which the doctors assumed I’d grow out of. I haven’t, but the recovery time from the op to fix it is a month now I’m fully grown, whereas it would have been a couple of days when I was ten or eleven

    • Mountain Girl

      I wore invisalign in my 40’s. I would have done metal braces if it was necessary but we were able to go with the invisalign even though the treatment took a bit longer that way. Do it! I haven’t regretted for one second the time, pain or money spent. Sometimes I look in the mirror and just smile and really appreciate that I was able to do this for myself. It has made a noticeable difference in my confidence level when addressing a small room of people I don’t know. Maybe its vain and silly but I am glad I did it.

    • Bonnie

      I had braces in my 30s too and it was the best decision I could have made. Wearing them for almost 3 years sucked but I’d do it again. I did get clear brackets for my front teeth but the rest were all metal.

  11. Delicate correction?

    Hi all , threadjack —
    How does one delicately correct a “Welcome to the team email” noting an incorrect prior employer (with a very similar name)? As in, Minor edit: I previously worked for X — looking forward to working with you all!

    • Orangerie

      Do you really need to? If you’re new to the company, I’d avoid sending out a mass correction email. It comes across kind of snippy.

      • Senior Attorney

        I agree. If it comes up in conversation, you can correct people in person: “Actually I worked for XYZ, not XYX. But I’m really glad to be here.”

    • Senior Attorney

      Thought about this some more and changed my mind.

      I think you should ask the person who sent the email to re-send with the correction. Nice girls don’t get the corner office and I don’t think you should have to suck this up. Just call the person and say “Hey, there was a mistake about my former company. Would you mind re-sending so there’s no confusion down the road? Thanks so so much!”

      • Shay-La

        +1

        I was going to say this is presumably not a mistake you helped make (listing the wrong employer on your resume). But, I do think it needs to be fixed, depending on your profession, people do a lot of pre-judging prior to ones arrival based off of this kind of information (legal). As Senior Attorney suggested, I would definitely call the person who sent the email.

        • Orangerie

          Right, but… doesn’t everyone have a LinkedIn profile? I automatically look up any new team member’s profile, regardless of if their bio is sent around. It’s pretty easy to discern the mistake, and OP can always correct people gently in person if it comes up in conversation.

      • Burlap Suit

        Does it really matter? Reputation-wise, it it like saying you worked for Skadden when you really worked for Sidley? Or is it like it misrepresents your prior work or exeprience (Rhodes College vs Rhodes Scholar, you worked for DOJ vs used to be a DJ)?

        I’m not sure that this is the hill I’d get on let alone die on, as a newbie. Nice girls don’t get the corner office, but I’m not sure that’s applicable here. More like You’ve got to know when hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, etc.

        I’ll probably come up in converstation, which may be more beneficial to you. “Do you know X at Y?” “Actually, I didn’t work at Y; I worked at Z. Do you know A and B who work there?”

      • rosie

        I think this is a good approach. Sending a reply all email correcting it could come off as snippy, but mentioning it to the sender in a polite & friendly way so s/he can send a correction is much better.

  12. hellskitchen

    My son’s first birthday is coming up soon. We moved to a new city a couple of months ago and while I have acquaintances and some casual friends from college in the area, DH and I haven’t yet built a social circle. I want my son’s birthday to be memorable (for me, he’s too young to care) but I don’t think I can have a party and invite people I don’t know very well. Any other ideas for activities or things I could do to celebrate his first birthday without a big party?

    • Carine

      We were in a similar situation with few friends or family in town and we didn’t have a party either. I made cupcakes for us and we gave her a few new toys. She was more into the unwrapping and playing right away than at Christmas, so that was fun.

      Maybe you could work on a photo book for his first year? You could make copies for yourself and his grandparents. It would be a nice keepsake, and the process might be a good outlet for all that lingering-over-pictures-and-crying you might find yourself wanting to do (not that I know anything about that). You could also plant a tree together. A friend did that with each of her kids and they love, love, love their trees.

    • hoola hoopa

      Can you visit grandparents? We do have an established social group, but this is still what we did for both of our kids’ first birthdays. Prevented us from feeling like we needed to do something big, and frankly no one is as excited about a first birthday as a grandparent.

      Otherwise I’d do a day at the zoo or children’s museum and a nice dinner (made at home, take out) and bottle of wine for you and DH followed by cake. Give kiddo his favorite foods and a smash cake photo op.

      • Samantha

        +1 to “no one is as excited about a first birthday as a grandparent”.
        I’d say go visit grandparents, and do the cupcakes and candle-blowing when you’re there. Take pics with the birthday baby, parents and grandparents. Make a photo book for the baby to enjoy. Even at that age, they love looking at photos of themselves, and people they know and love. (They can get aggressive turning pages though, watch out!).
        Yes, I realize I’m answering “all of the above”.

    • Wildkitten

      Honestly, I would throw a big party to invite everyone I don’t know very well, and then get to know them better. As I understand it first birthdays are mostly for adults to mingle anyway. Make it clear that nobody should bring presents, but use the event as an excuse to host a get-together.

    • KLG

      Family photo shoot with a professional photographer either in your home or a nearby nice location?

      But I think Wildkitten’s suggestion is a good one.

    • hellskitchen

      Thanks for these ideas ladies! You all are making me way more confident about having a party anyways. But I really love the photobook idea. Perhaps we’ll do a family photo shoot – I am sure the grandparents will love it.

  13. Getting an implant (dental)

    Y’all:

    The braces convo above reminded me of something I’ve been dreading. I still have a baby tooth. My dentist says that it won’t be with me forever, that it will fall out at some point, and that I’ll need to get an implant (a rod drilled into my jaw) onto which a crown will be placed. This will not be inexpensive. But I’m worried about the vanity aspect — walking around with a visibly missing tooth is just so not done in BigLaw. It won’t be for long (until the implantation could be done and then the crown added — 2 weeks maybe?). Should I just get the tooth pulled and get it over with on my time frame (if it is scheduled, I think the timing gets reduced — it’s more if it gets knocked out over a weekend / on travel, then I’m not on anyone’s schedule yet)? Haven’t run into anyone with this issue (FWIW, I still have the baby tooth b/c I’m missing an adult tooth, so there’s nothing below it. The implant is needed so that my teeth don’t start shifting around. And b/c I am too vain to be toothless.]

    • January

      I’d probably just go ahead and get it done, assuming you can afford it, so that you don’t need to worry about it when it’s going to happen. That said, I wouldn’t worry so much about walking around with a missing tooth in BigLaw for a couple of weeks – I think you could explain that you had an accident or something and are getting it treated, and people would (I hope) be understanding of that.

      For some reason, I am also picturing this as a bottom tooth, which would not be all that visible on me. If it’s one of your top front teeth, I might feel differently.

    • tesyaa

      In the course of 2 years I had 2 coworkers walking around with one missing front tooth (each) – both very professional, very well-dressed middle aged men. I assumed that the dental work (and possibly even the insurance approvals) was taking time, and it certainly didn’t affect my perception of them. While I also cringe at the thought of walking around temporarily with a missing tooth, I can’t imagine it would affect your professionally. It’s good that you have the advantage of being able to plan for this. What if someone loses a tooth in a household or sports accident? Should they just stop going to work until the implant can be done?

    • poppy

      You can get a partial/temporary tooth for the lag time before you get the crown. They may be able to use your actual baby tooth for that. They can cut off the root. Well, I guess there won’t be a root. They cut off the root of my adult tooth that was pulled, and attached the tooth to a retainer/partial thing. For my second implant (different tooth), the real tooth was not usable, so they made a fake temporary tooth. The downside is that it will probably give you a lisp for a little bit, but you will adjust.

      • Senior Attorney

        +1

        I am certain they will be able to give you something cosmetic to fill the gap in the interim. And I definitely vote for getting it done on your own time frame.

      • ANP

        +1. This happened to my husband — the temporary tooth was attached to a retainer that he wore and no one could tell the difference. Except that he got food poisoning his first day with the retainer, threw up in the middle of the night, and flushed the toilet — AND his retainer — before remembering! So he had to go a few extra days toothless while they made him a replacement.

    • CKB

      My dh had an implant done on his front tooth. After the rod was placed in his jaw it took a month or 2 for everything to heal before a crown could be placed on it, but maybe it’s different for you because he was replacing an adult tooth, not a baby tooth.

      Anyway, the dentist provided him with a single false tooth that filled the hole so you couldn’t tell he was missing a tooth. Same thing when my brother had the same procedure as a teenager.

      Not sure how much it costs, though.

    • Anon

      I have two baby teeth that need to be replaced and I’ve been putting it off for years. I feel your pain. I don’t even have dental insurance!

    • AIMS

      I had something similar done and it wasn’t a big deal because you really couldn’t see the missing tooth unless you looked in my mouth or I smiled unnaturally wide. My understanding for visible teeth is that they give you a temporary. So I don’t think that’s much of an issue.

      BUT – it also didn’t take 2 weeks. I had to first wait for the area to heal which took time, and then they had to uncover my gum to put in the screw and then they had to make sure that was fine which was another four months and only then they did the crown. Start to finish, it was something like mid May to October. There are places that will do it in less time, of course. But my dentist said that can lead to problems and complications. He said 3 mos. is the minimum amount of time you should expect for it to be done right.

    • poppy

      Nice video. But I do not like the “what’s your story” line. It’s funny, the guys who like to use it think it gives the other person the freedom to provide as little information as he wants, but I think of it as an all-encompassing, invasive question. Like the inquirer wants to know everything about me upon our introduction. I prefer the specific questions – where are you from, where do you work, etc.

  16. Famouscait

    Has anyone had luck using a snug camisole (rather than a BellaBand) to hold up unbuttoned jeans/shorts/pants? I’m most comfortable right now in flowy tops to hide my middle, but many of these are sheer enough that they require a cami underneath. The idea of wearing a blouse + cami + BellaBand = ugh. Any ideas?

    • Anonymous

      Don’t. Don’t don’t don’t. It’s all fun and games until your pants fall off. I’ve seen it happen. It’s how I learned of maternity thongs. Don’t.

    • ezt

      You could try cami plus a rubber band/hair-tie looped through the button hole and over the button? Seems too precarious with just the cami.

    • BKDC

      I’m wearing both a cami and and a bella band today, along with the hair tie around the button trick. I folded the bella band in half so it doesn’t feel as if I’m wearing too many layers.

    • Meg Murry

      If you tend to wear pants with belt loops, you could also try this device as 1 step up from the hair tie trick. But beware – the home page has a LOUD video screaming about “your pregnant belly” that you can’t pause or mute. Need to go do some damage control to let my coworkers know I was shopping for others, not me now …

      http://mybbuckles.com/shop/product.php?ProductID=10011

    • Anon99

      What’s wrong with blouse+cami+BellaBand? Once you’re in maternity pants, it’s like wearing a BellaBand with all of your pants all the time – might as well get used to it now.

      I always wore the BellaBand folded over the top of the pants (half inside the pants, half outside) so it was really more like converting the pants to elastic waist than a whole other garment.

  17. Lily-Student

    UK threadjack – anyone else finding the smog affecting their sleep or concentration? I’ve got a headache and I want fresh air but there just isn’t any!

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