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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This pleated dress from Boss is the desk-to-dinner outfit of my dreams. For the office, I’d layer an ivory blazer and knee-high boots for a classic black-and-white look. For dinner, I’d remove the blazer and maybe add a fun earring for a little pizazz.
The dress is $495 at Bloomingdale’s and comes in sizes XS–XL.
Two more affordable options are at Nordstrom: this Sam Edelman dress for $128 (straight sizes) and this dress from City Chic for $139 (plus sizes).
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
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- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
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- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Josie P
Hi ladies, I am making my packing list for our Paris trip next month. What shoes that are not sneakers should I bring for our Eiffel Tower dinner? I am hoping that we can mostly eat in places that won’t balk at sweatshirts and sneakers – TBH I don’t think the kids even have shoes that aren’t sneakers! – but LMK if they will also need non-sneakers. TIA!
Anon
I don’t pack non-sneaker shoes when I go to Europe but I don’t know how fancy this Eiffel Tower restaurant is. Can you pack ballet flats? I know they’re not “in” right now but they’re dressier than sneakers and take up almost no space.
Anon
Ballet flats are absolutely back in right now.
Anon
Yep, and in my opinion, the Repetto flats I bought last time I was in Paris are also timeless and perfect for OPs purpose. I wore mine all the time there.
Anon
Have you been happy with the quality? Are they worth the price?
Anon
They’re 100% worth it, mine look brand new and I bought them in 2017 and they go on every single trip with me. Highly recommend.
Anon
Thanks!! Adding to my Paris shopping itinerary :)
Anon
Getting them is Paris is an A+ experience too, you can try on piles of them and the only challenge is choosing what you like best.
Anokha
Speaking of ballet flats: Does the shape of the flat determine if they’re in right now or not? I keep getting ads for Birdie’s pointed flats, and I’m wondering if I should pull the trigger. (But I also have been WFH for the past three years and realize that I have no idea what’s “in” anymore.) Also, does anyone have reviews on Birdies?
Anon318
I LOVE my birdies – I have two pairs of the pointed toe flats, one of the loafers, and one of each style of sneaker. They are the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn. I have the washable pointed toe flats and they really do wash well with no shrinkage. The flats and loafers do cause my feet to sweat if I’m doing a lot of outside walking, but I haven’t had that issue walking around the office, hanging out inside, indoor shopping, etc. All the shoes run true to size length-wise, but I wish I had gone up a size in the Cardinal sneakers because the toe box is pretty narrow. On that note, I have very narrow feet, so if yours are wide, I might consider going up half a size in the pointed toe flats. The loafers are cut generously. I hope you give them a try and love them!
anon
I really appreciate this review as I’m sitting here waiting on my birdies sneakers (in a half size up) to be delivered any day now :D
Anonymous
I’ve seen a couple blogs make the pitch that ballet flats are “in” right now. I’m not excited about it. Personally I would go with Rothy’s The Point. I just like pointed toe shoes better. They’re probably not “in” right now. :)
Anon
I thought only structured ballet flats (sometimes with a squarish toe) were in style now, not the slipper-like ones we used to wear.
Anon
Kids under the age of ten will probably get a pass most places, but if you’re doing any nicer meals (like, any non-touristy sit-down place doing French food) you will probably get some side eye and it could well affect your level of service to wear sneakers and sweatshirts to dinner. Even in the US that would be a lot in most major cities at a semi-nice restaurant, and Europe is more formal in this regard. I’d pack a pair of loafers, leather sandals, or wedges for this purpose.
If I’m misunderstanding and you’re planning mostly takeout or cafes geared towards tourists, then disregard.
Source: lived in Paris
Cat
this was my reaction, too. triply so if your sneakers and sweatshirts are ‘random athletic or mall brand styles’ as opposed to intentional streetwear.
Josie P
Ugh. So what should the kids wear for footwear in that case? I can make them wear outerwear that’s not a sweatshirt.
Anon
If they’re younger than ten, don’t stress it. If they’re older, they can wear the same stuff as adults (non-flip flop sandals, booties, boots, etc).
Anon
+1 everyone (kids included!) can just wear what they’d wear out to dinner in the U.S.!
Cat
How old are your kids?
Josie P
11, 13, 15 – the 15yo wears my same size shoe so she can borrow, but the 13yo (boy) only owns sneakers and crocs!
Anon
Well this sounds like a great excuse to get your kids a pair of more formal shoes!
Curious
Does 13yo own sneakers that are a dark color and a thinner profile and aren’t too beat up? I think of those as European sneakers, though I know fashion has changed. They go more places than beat-up Reeboks for sure, especially with nicer jeans and a sweater.
Anon
I agree for “nice” places but there are loads of more casual places that aren’t particularly touristy. In fact I think some of the “fancy” places have far more tourists than random bistros/cafes.
I also think outdoor dining is a factor. If you’re planning to eat outside a lot (easy in Europe where so many restaurant and cafes have tables on the sidewalk) you can get away with more casual dress.
Mouse
French casual is less casual than American casual, though. The sweatshirts are what are more likely to make you feel/look underdressed than sneakers (especially once you’re seated at a restaurant and no one can see your feet).
Anon
Fair, I don’t normally wear sweatshirts so can’t comment on that. But I don’t think sneakers are a big deal at most places, especially if you’re dining outdoors.
I’m also not sure I agree Europe is more formal than the US. Big cities tend to be more formal than more rural areas, so makes sense that Paris like NYC is a bit more formal than other parts of France but I think that’s a city thing, not a Europe thing.
Anon
I mean yes, to some extent big cities are more formal. But attitudes around athletic attire (like sneakers) are markedly different in Europe than in the US. You are just not going to see locals wearing gym shoes to restaurants in France.
Cat
Not all sneakers are created alike. Like if you’re wearing intentional street sneakers with an outfit (think Vejas, Nike Air Force Ones if you’re young and cool enough) you’ll blend. If you’re wearing Athleta and gym sneakers, not so much.
Anonymous
I disagree that it’s a city thing. DH is from a rural area in Europe and I definitely dress up more there than I do in my small city if we go out to a restaurant.
Mouse
Yeah, I think Cat’s comment is what I’m getting at. There’s a world of difference between Allbirds or Converse with a knit sweater or flannel shirt and the sneakers you’d wear to run on the treadmill with a basic tee or an athletics club/ school colors sweatshirt.
Anon
Sneakers isn’t synonymous with gym shoes to me and I live in the very un-trendy small town Midwest. I don’t spend big money on sneakers or wear trendy brands like Golden Goose but my sneakers that I wear outside the gym don’t look like gym wear. I wear them all over Europe and see tons of people, including people who appear to be locals, in similar shoes.
Curious
Mouse has it on the sneakers.
Anon
+1 to Mouse, but also I think there’s a big difference between Allbirds or Converse vs. Vejas or other leather sneakers.
Anon
Yeah, even in the U.S. I’d never wear a sweatshirt to a sit-down restaurant and wouldn’t wear sneakers (even trendy ones like Vejas) the vast majority of the time. In the winter I wear boots and in the summer I wear sandals. In the short in-between season I’d wear loafers or maybe Vejas. I”m thinking of very casual grabbing dinner with a friend type places. Anywhere remotely nice is obviously not a sneakers or sweatshirt place.
I do wear sneakers out to bars, but usually still prefer boots. And, still never sweatshirts or fleeces.
Anonymous
A pair of flats same as I would wear out to dinner in my home city. What would you wear to a nice dinner at home? Just pack
That.
anon.
I’d pack Rothy’s for this, but that’s my go-to. Either the point or the loafer.
anonymous
Rothy’s loafer. For sure. Lightweight to pack, may be nice to have an alternative in the evenings and even in the hotel room.
Anon
Another vote for Rothys. I like to buy and take extra insoles to keep them fresh.
anonymous
Obligatory code if you want to use it!
https://share.rothys.com/x/7kaT4N
Anon
Also going to Paris next month and have the same question, so thanks for asking! I’m considering bringing a pair of loafers that I usually wear for work, but I have to try them on with non-work outfits first.
Anyone tried the everlane ballet flats?
Anon
Not their ballet flats specifically, but I’ve returned 100% of the shoes I’ve ordered from them. Most uncomfortable things I’ve ever put on my feet.
Emma
I’m leaving to Paris soon and I’m packing sneakers and ballet flats (for anything fancy – I don’t do heels these days). Nice booties work too, check the weather but it might rain!
Anon
We randomly decided to go to the restaurant when we were visiting the Eiffel Tower. I’m pretty sure we were wearing jeans, sweaters, and sneakers. I wouldn’t worry about the footwear, especially for the kids, but would recommend a top that is nicer than a sweatshirt.
Sasha
I was last in Paris in November and saw most people in either sneakers, loafers (particularly lug sole), or Doc Marten style boots. Chunky heels/platforms are definitely having a moment there (or perhaps are always in). French people looooove sneakers and wear them with everything, so you will not look out of place to have those on in a majority of places. Sweatshirts will draw some looks unless they are more polished “athleisure” style sweatshirts.
Anon8
+1 This was exactly my observation in Paris last year too. Sneakers everywhere but many more dresses and dressy outfits with them.
Emma
Are you doing the Jules Verne or the Brasserie? If it’s the brasserie I wouldn’t worry about it too much. If it’s the Jules Verne, especially for dinner, then absolutely no to sneakers.
Anonymous
Ballet flats or non-athletic sneakers. Kids are fine in sneakers but I would do a polo or non-character t-shirt with cotton short or jeans (not athletic shorts/joggers). Kids in Europe don’t tend to wear cartoon characters on their kids clothing in the same way – doing so is sort of seen as being low class.
Seventh Sister
We’re going to Paris soon and in addition to Superga-type sneakers, I’m bringing a pair of leather oxford-type shoes, plain black ballet flats, and possibly a pair of wedges for a fancy dinner. My teenage daughter (15) is sort of delighted at the idea of trying to blend in, I’ve been having to tell the boy (11) that no, he can’t wear track pants everywhere, sorry (which is a good reminder for his dad as well lol).
Related: Has anyone every attempted to buy pointe shoes in Paris? I promised the teen we’d go to the Bloch store and while I thought I’d get her a new leotard or skirt or something, I did look up the price for pointe shoes and they are significantly ($15-20) less than they are in the US. It’s the brand she’s worn for the past couple years, so I’m less worried about the fitting than I’d be otherwise.
Anon
Tods suede loafers that have a firm sole. Tods sneakers.
Anon
If you were going to buy one pair of loafers and wear a lot of black, what color loafers would you get? Black matte? Shiny or even patent leather black? Or just another neutral like oxblood (I do wear blouses that often have hot pink or light blue in them). It’s like I want them but can’t pull the trigger because I can make two good choices (black and then tan or oxblood) but not one universal good choice. WWYD?
Anon
I’d do black matte. It’s the most versatile and will stay current the longest. That said, maybe just buy two pairs?
nutella
If it’s ALL black you are wearing often, then I’d say get black loafers. In winters, I wear black tights a lot to work (often with a black dress, too) and my black loafers definitely look best with the black tights. But for the rest of the year, or with say denim and other non-all-black outfits, the oxblood are more versatile and less harsh. Clearly I just went with two pairs, haha. Mine are both Bass, the shiny leather (not patent).
anon.
Just recommended Rothy’s in the thread above! But the Rothy’s animal print loafers really work for my all-black, non-adventurous style. I love them and wear them all the time for work.
here she goes
Just recommended Rothy’s in the thread above! But the Rothy’s animal print loafers really work for my all-black, non-adventurous style. I love them and wear them all the time for work.
Anonymous
If just one, I would go black patent. I think tan will lower the formality of the outfit and oxblood is a fave of mine but would always be an accent, which makes it a second choice for me. I think patent makes the shoes pop as a “choice” vs. a super utilitarian loafer in matte black leather
Anonymous
I definitely would not get matte black, and I would not get a conservative-looking loafer, because I use shoes to help my outfits feel more interesting and current. So I’d be looking for as trendy and stylish as I can go (and still be comfortable). For me, that would be a shiny oxblood if I could get it. I dress pretty plainly, so when I add a very safe and conservative shoe to the mix, I start to feel dowdy.
anon
Black matte. They’re the most versatile option.
Ribena
I’ve been looking for a pair of tan/brown loafers but mostly I’m seeing only black and beige.
Anon
Check out this link for loafers available from my favorite shoe store, filtered to show tan and brown loafers: https://www.schuhe-lueke.com/womens-shoes/loafers-moccasins/brown/
here she goes
Not exactly right, but last week I was eying the Kiltie Leather Loafer Slides in brown/white from Ann Taylor. Something to look at.
Anon
I have a black normal leather pair and a cognac pair and I wear both with all black outfits, depending on which shape goes best with the shape of everything else.
Anonymous
Black matte. Patent is often uncomfortable with a lot of wear since it doesn’t stretch and doesn’t breathe as well. It’s also going to look beat up the fastest since it will start to crinkle. And I think it kind of reads weird in really hot weather. I associate it with spring but not summer or winter. If you splurge on a second pair, I’d do a more fun color or even a muted metallic. I used to have a super soft pale gold pair that were my summer staples. Not that I want to add a third contender. ;)
Anon
I like 2 pairs – Black and oxblood sounds great.
I actually look for embossed black matte, which is just a touch more interesting, if available. So croc or snakeskin – still all black. I also love ostrich, but that can be really hard to find.
It looks more expensive, and unique.
Anon
Definitely matte black. By far the most versatile.
JD
One neutral and one crazy color! I’d do black and another in a blue, pink, gold or red. Live a little :)
Anon
Oxblood or cordovan.
Anon
This dress is so pretty – I love an elbow-length sleeve!
The Beagle Has Landed
I agree it’s gorgeous on the model, but my short, solid body in anything midi is tragic. Looking forward to seeing shorter hemlines which I think are flattering on more people.
Anon
Nooooo from a Tall! You guys can always hem things, we can’t add length, and dresses very rarely come in lengths other than regular and petite.
Anon
The comments on here about “you can always hem things” clearly do not understand that garments are often wrong in the rise, the waist, the sleeve, the armhole, etc. etc. and it is rarely as simple as “just hem it” to get a good fit. So many time in product reviews, I see people who are 5’5” or 5’6” saying that they purchased the short length for a better fit. Where does that leave those of us who are the average height of 5’4” or shorter?
Anon
+1!!
It’s a PITA to have to hem everything, but that only works for the bottom hem, not every other dimension of the dress. I find petites sections to have such small selections, which is a shame.
Anon
The petites section! There are no options for talls at all!
Ribena
In exactly the same place as tall women. Pretty much every garment I own with a waist has that waist falling on my ribcage, because all my height is in my torso
Anon
There are as many talls as there are petites in sizing, but a much smaller smaller of the population needs them. I regularly see “regular” length jeans that have a 34” inseam. Regular, as in odd the bell curve, perhaps, but certainly not regular as in average.
Anon
That is not even close to true. Talls are occasionally offered in pants. That’s it. No dresses, jackets, blouses, sweaters in tall sizes at all.
anon
Does anyone know the gold dress that Rebecca wore in the last episode of season 2 of Ted Lasso? I see the original brand is Joseph but I don’t see it on their website. Anyone seen anything similar?
Anonymous
It’s actually two pieces! Some info here: https://twitter.com/WeltonWears/status/1483243198625497092?s=20
This account does a great job sourcing her wardrobe, as well as Hannah Waddingham’s.
Horse Crazy
Omg that you so much. I’m obsessed with her outfits!
NYC
This is a silly question. I’m headed to NYC this week/weekend. What coat should I bring? I have a wool knee-length pea coat and a sporty sage color rain coat (not terribly insulated). I would generally bring a trench coat but the one I have no longer zips properly (still have baby weight so haven’t invested in a new one). Weather is showing some rain every day and temps between 40 and 60. We’ll be doing the general tourist stuff but also seeing several broadway shows and having nice dinners out. I haven’t been to NY in 20 years. Is it like in Chicago where the temps are deceptive and it’s really much colder/windier so I should go with the wool coat?
Cat
I was up there this weekend and tbh people are wearing whatever. Saw everything from just a light sweater or hoodie (how, why?) to the standard-issue hip-length quilted Burberry to winter puffers. How much walking will you be doing? (The more walking, the more I’d recommend layers, vs say a light blouse and a wool coat – easier to adjust as the day warms or cools.)
here she goes
“How, why?” in regards to light sweaters and hoodies – I’m in the upper midwest and this time of year everyone is so sick of their winter gear that it’s not uncommon that we will go outside in completely inappropriate layers. The wind was freezing miserable on Saturday and my DH just refused to take a jacket (he’s suppppper sick of winter) and instead frozen in his hoodie while we did errands all day. It’s a dumb thing, ignore us and follow below – bring your warmer coat.
ArenKay
In the Rockies and hard same. Everyone’s inner middle school boy comes out once the temperature goes above 50.
Anonymous
Wear the wool coat. It’s still cold and it will be 40s and raining this weekend. Bring a hat scarf and gloves too.
Anon
This. It’s supposed to rain all weekend. Bring good shoes, a warm jacket and sweater and umbrella.
Anonymous
+1. If you are running errands in a car, you can warm up inside pretty easily. This is not as feasible in NYC. You will be outside a lot (or on unheated subway platforms and lukewarm subway cars) a lot unless you plan to never leave your hotel. I am still using my winter puffer and wool hat and gloves most days.
NYNY
The weather has been very much between seasons here, so not a silly question at all! I’ve generally been wearing lighter coats and jackets, but making sure I have warm accessories – hat, scarf, gloves – on me if the wind kicks up. If you’re going to be outside after dark a lot, you might prefer the wool, but if you’ll be out and about during the day more, the rain coat would be better. Don’t worry about formality, we are all way less formal after years of sweatpants.
NYCer
Forecast looks rainy at the end of this week, so I would probably go with the sage green rain coat, and plan to wear a thick sweater or fleece under on the cooler days / times of day. It was beautiful here on Saturday afternoon, but down right cold yesterday. The forecast looks overall warmer this week.
Anon
I get really cold and I’m still wearing my winter puffer today. I would definitely go for the wool coat, sadly it’s not light raincoat weather yet.
anon
I’d err on the side of being warm because being cold all the time would really ruin my mood on vacation.
Mmg
Do you have a layer you can wear under the raincoat? Like a light puffy – I find raincoat + Uniqlo down or similar to be really warm and comfortable this time of year and less bulky to travel with. I’m in Boston not NY but similar weather right now.
Anon
I’m in Philly so similarish weather and you’ll definitely want the pea coat for this.
Anonymous
If just one, I would go black patent. I think tan will lower the formality of the outfit and oxblood is a fave of mine but would always be an accent, which makes it a second choice for me. I think patent makes the shoes pop as a “choice” vs. a super utilitarian loafer in matte black leather
Anon318
What are your favorite picnic foods and tips? Bonus if they are kid-friendly.
With the extended sunshine in the evening and my kids on spring break next week, I’d like to take a picnic dinner to the golf range one day. The whole family golfs and in my head it would be so pleasant to enjoy the evening with a picnic dinner, hitting balls, and watching the sunset over the trees. My kids are young enough that dinner needs to be involved in after-work activities or we’ll miss bedtime and the whole outing will be more stressful than relaxing, hence the picnic. TIA for ideas!
Vicky Austin
That sounds so lovely – and like the perfect candidate for Charcuterie for Dinner. Deli meat, salami, cheese, crackers, fruit.
Cat
+1, or if that’s too much fiddling, lunch for dinner? Bring sandwiches, chips, fruit, cookies?
Cb
Yep, we call this a “platter” dinner. Some babybels, some one handed desserts (macarons, mini cupcakes).
Ribena
Mini quiches are great for picnics. Plus anything mini always feels like a treat
anon
Bean and cheese burritos, kebabs
Anonymous
Fried chicken, pasta salad, crudite (vs. veggie plate because golf)
Salami, other deli meats, cheese, olives, green salad
Anan
When we summer picnic, we often bring sandwiches from our favorite deli, quesadillas, Jamaican patties, empanadas, calzones, or wraps. And lots of cut up fruit. And a big bag of chips.
Anonymous
We like to buy croissants and then use them to make sandwiches. Then a bag of grapes and/or other fruit, a bag of chips, and cheesecake for dessert.
anon a mouse
We do picnic dinners at the pool frequently in the summer. Cold grilled chicken is a favorite – good by itself, or mixed with pasta, cucumbers and parmesan with a little vinaigrette for a delicious pasta salad. Cheese cubes and crackers. An assortment of mixed fruits or vegetables is good. Cupcakes or brownies or other handheld desserts. Don’t forget the wet wipes, have fun!
Anonymous
My go-to for picnics is a pasta salad or cold sesame noodles.
Anonymous
Honestly, picking up a pizza across the street from the park is my favorite because it is easy! You don’t even necessarily need plates.
Anon
Sounds like a fun night, we would often do similar things when I was growing up!
For a picnic I like a snack board: cheese and crackers, salsa and chips, charcuterie, veggies and dip, hummus, etc. You know your kids best, would they eat enough dinner this way?
Picnics are also great for non-leafy green salads: cowboy caviar, pasta salad, cucumber and tomato salad, caprese.
Lastly, I’d consider picking up a pizza or other easy dinner on your way to the course.
Travel help, please
Travel destination ideas, please. I would like to plan a trip for May, within about an 8 hour drive of the mid-Atlantic region. Good hiking, good food, a town for bopping around are all desirable. Asheville is out because we are looking for something new. I would appreciate any suggestions, with as much detail as you are willing to provide. Thanks, ‘rettes.
Anon
Chattanooga fits the bill. If that’s too big, Dahlonega and/or Ellijay are tiny, but great for outdoor activities.
Cat
by mid-Atlantic do you mean, like, north Jersey or DC area? That’s like a 3+ hour difference in drive time. Like from NJ that could get you up to coastal Maine (chilly but otherwise meets your needs…) or from DC that could get you down to the Savannah or Charleston area. How much is warm weather a factor?
Anon
Way too early in the year to go to Maine unless you want to get caught in a snowstorm.
NYCer
Depends on when in May. I have been to Acadia over Memorial Day weekend, and it was totally fine. Chilly in the mornings, but beautiful otherwise.
Anon
It can be beautiful! But it can be snowing. Even in the latter half of May. It’s not a gamble I’d take, personally. Even June can be kind of iffy weather wise. That’s why the area gets so crowded in July and August, because that’s really the only time with reliably good weather.
anon
Live here, and I totally agree with this. The only reason it doesn’t get busy until mid June is that is when people’s kids are out of school and people from away think that it is finally warm. End of May is the best time of year for Maine, in my opinion. Mostly locals in tourist areas, no bugs yet, and pleasant weather. I’ve seen snow in late May once in 45 years.
Travel help, please
Washington, DC area, and the latter half of May.
Carrots
There are a bunch of towns of a variety of sizes up and down 81 in Virginia that could you put close to Shenandoah National Park that has good hiking. Depending on what you want to prioritize in the trip (hiking or the town aspect) there’s a couple of places you could look at along that route that could get you something you’re looking for.
Anonymous
+1, I’d suggest Sperryville! Close to Old Rag (get tickets), Little Devil Stairs and other Shenandoah hiking.
Gail the Goldfish
Yea, the south end of Shenandoah is not that far from Charlottesville (maybe 45 minutes from either the southernmost entrance or Swift Run Gap entrance), so you could stay there. We stayed in some random hotel in I think Ruckersville, which is roughly 25 minutes from Charlottesville and 25 minutes from the Swift Run Gap entrance, though depending on how much bopping around town you want to do, I’d probably just stay in Charlottesville and spend a little more time driving to/from Shenandoah. Charlottesville has a similar vibe to Asheville.
Anon
I really like the Roanoke area too!
Anon
West coaster who’s vacationed a lot on the east coast (so I can’t really speak to drive times), and places I’ve loved and would revisit in a heart beat: Maine (Portland and Kennebunk), Cape Cod, Vermont (southern and northern), Savannah GA, Charleston.
Travel help, please
Thanks to all for your suggestions. Now to go down some rabbit holes and make a decision.
anonchicago
There was a great discussion about paint awhile ago and I’d like to get this group’s advice.
We bought a house last year and because of a baby and other things happening, we are now ready to embark on repainting the house. I painted a few rooms when we moved in but we’re hiring painters to redo all the common areas, our bedroom, trim, etc. Prior owners used a slate grey.
I’d like to stay in the grey-blue color family and would like a color that opens up the place and really reflects light. Currently some rooms look a bit dark at certain times of day. I’m also stumped on what color to paint our bedrooms and the bathrooms, if we go with a different color at all.
Thoughts on colors and brands of paint? The quotes are all over in terms of price and paint used so I’d like some outside advice.
Agurk
Farrow and Ball Pale Powder, Pavilion Blue, or Borrowed Light.
We have Pale Powder in our sunny bedroom and sometimes I just lie in bed and look at how beautiful the color is and how it changes in the light.
Agurk
also, yes F&B is worth it but only in rooms where you get a lot of light so you can take advantage of the luminosity
Anon
also, yes F&B is worth it but only in rooms where you get a lot of light so you can take advantage of the luminosity
Anon
It’s difficult to use any shade of gray or blue and end up with a light, bright feel because the gray ends up looking like dirty white if it is too pale.
In-House Anon
For a light grey option, we have used BM Paper White in a previous, light-filled bedroom with BM Chantilly Lace trim. I worried it would look dirty or drab or sterile but I really wound up liking it.
Cat
We used Linen White (BM) in our sunny living room and the walls practically glow. However we were cautioned in dim areas it could look like Landlord White lol.
Anon
Good intel…that was one of the samples I ordered for our (walk out) basement. I’m leaning Edgecomb Grey or possibly Ballet White if anyone has opinions on those!
Edgecomb Grey
I did Edgecomb Grey in my living room and dining room just last year. It’s an old house (1900) with a new addition that is not these rooms. The first day i saw it painted, i was scared it looked flesh colored in the sun. Once the panic wore off, i’ve been super happy. It’s enough color that you’re not in landlord white territory, but it’s not dark!
Anon
Also try Chantilly Lace — beautiful white in brighter and darker rooms.
Anon
Are the rooms north facing? South facing? Generally dark or bright? Use those answers to help you Google some ideas, then order samples from Samplize. Put them on the walls and look at them in different lightning throughout the day. I love grey-blue-greens but they can look drastically different based on the lighting conditions of your room.
here she goes
Since the blue grey family is just going to looks so different depending on the light in the room, I think you probably need to do samples. Samplize offers peel and stick paint samples that you can move around.
I think you go with a good neutral blue grey in the main living areas that are open to each other, and then different colors for the bedrooms and bathrooms. Personally I like those rooms to have their own style and different complementary colors.
I started with Valspar Swiss Coffee 7002-16 in Eggshell (warm white) everywhere in our house a few years ago, and have slowly been adding color to the rooms. But I have been painting myself (not happily; I hate painting) and if I was hiring painters I would want to do as many rooms in colors as I can.
One way you can do a whole house color scheme is to find a pattern you love (like from a piece of fabric or art or something) and then pick colors off of that. Young House Love did that in their second house; all of the colors were picked from “sue the napkin”.
here she goes
Here’s a post about how YHL picked their colors off of the napkin:
https://www.younghouselove.com/heres-the-story-of-a-lovely-napkin/
Society 6 pillows is a good place to look for patterns that you love. I’m not sure how colorful you’re attracted to, but here are a couple options:
https://society6.com/product/gilt–glory-colorful-moroccan-mosaic_pillow?sku=s6-2628034p26a18v129a25v193
https://society6.com/product/cat-landscape-48_pillow?sku=s6-13766136p26a18v129a25v193
https://society6.com/product/oval810446_pillow?sku=s6-7774450p26a18v129a25v193
https://society6.com/product/henri-matisse-art-exhibition-matisse_pillow?sku=s6-22877110p26a18v129a25v193
Curious
Regardless of color, consider a shinier finish in darker or high use rooms. I wish we’d done satin in the baby’s room to get a bit more light and durability.
Anon
Benjamin Moore, Sherwin Williams and Farrow and Ball seem to be the most popular among designers. Emily Henderson has tons of blog posts about grey and blue paints.
Anonymous
we just had our kitchen and dining room repainted and our designer picked labrador blue by benjamin moore for the dining room and its amazing! its bright but not too bright and cheerful and definitely feels like it makes the room reflect the light that we have
AmateurDesigner
My living room is BM Balboa Mist with trims painted white, and it is perfect in all different types of light. The key to it not looking dirty was painting the trim white.
I painted my daughter’s bedroom at her grandmas house myself and chose Backdrop paint, Morning Ritual. I LOVE this color to the point that I’m considering it for my living room when we repaint. Her room is small and dark with only a small window and this color helps it feel cozy rather than a dungeon. Recommend Backdrop overall if you get overwhelmed by color palettes or DIY, but it’s $$$ compared to other brands.
For bathrooms, I like SW rainwash or SW sea salt. But agree with other posters that it depends on the room, your decor, your color preferences, etc.
Sutemi
We have Benjamin Moore’s Harbor Haze in all the main rooms and I’ve been quite pleased with it.
anon
Another spring work shoe question! I wear navy pants throughout spring/summer, sometimes mixing in gray. I’ve been wearing nude wedges with the navy pants but they’re wearing out and don’t feel very current anymore. I was thinking loafers, but what color? Navy? Something in the taupe/beige family? Ideally, I’d like them to go with the gray pants, too, and I think taupe/beige would look weird. I wear mostly cool colors. I’m not a big fan of patent leather, and lug soles would look very out of place in my environment (just trust me on this).
Anon
Depending on the shade of gray, cognac could work well
Anon
I concur on cognac, and also suggest cordovan/oxblood as an option that works with navy nd gray.
Anon
Navy and Grey are my neutrals, so I have both navy and grey shoes, which I think looks more intentional than trying to find one pair of shoes that looks great with both. This time of year I also start breaking out a handful of shoes I own in colors, when something in my outfit goes with a color I own in shoes.
Anne-on
I like an animal print, tortiseshell, or metallics for ‘goes with everything’ ease. I also agree with wearing colors – I find kelly green and yellow shoes are surprisingly versatile, ditto with pink or red.
Anon
Fwiw, I wear black shoes with navy all the time and love the look. As long as you don’t look like you’re trying to match, I think it’s a great look.
Anon
Cognac!
Anon
I wear cool colors.
Agree with Navy and Grey for my preferred summer palate.
I also throw in snakeskin (white/black/grey) or embossed leather. Lots of suede too in summer.
For my punch of color I have a deep magenta.
Chl
I’ve also worn tortoiseshell a lot with navy and love it. Ann Taylor and Sarah flint make them.
Wash DC
I need recs for a Washington DC trip. Coming from the west coast. I haven’t been since I was in elementary school so I have no idea what to see or do. Taking my two late-teens girls who have never been. I am not even sure which is the best airport to fly into. This trip would be the end of May, with 4 days available for sight seeing. Need recs for where to fly into, where to stay, what to definitely see.
Cb
Ah, look at The Shu Box for her planned itinerary? Her kids are younger but her list seems to hit the highlights.
anon
National Airport (DCA) is the easiest, because it’s on the metro and really close to the center city. What are your girls interested in? That will really shape what you should visit.
Anonymous
100% fly into DCA if at all possible and you wont need to get in a car your whole trip.
Leatty
Metro is now connected to Dulles on the silver line. I prefer DCA, but flagging for OP in case she can only get a direct flight to Dulles.
ELS
I live near the end of the silver line and agree that it’s a good option if you can only direct into Dulles/IAD, but it’s a decently long ride into the city from out this way, so if there’s a direct DCA flight, I’d take that if the price is even relatively comparable.
Anon
Reagan National is the airport you want.
I just went and loved the new-ish African American History museum; stay near the white house and you can walk to the White House (schedule a tour!), the Mall (see if you can get a meeting with your representatives!) , the Capital, the Washington Monument. Penn Quarter, if you can afford it, is centrally located to everything.
Have so much fun!
Anon
Dulles is fine too, if the flights are cheaper/better itinerary.
Anan
+1 for the African American History Museum- it’s a great mix of pop culture and important history.
For other important history there’s the Holocaust Museum, thoughI haven’t been in years.
I always like catching a show at the Kennedy Center. There are free shows at 6pm every day (look up Millenium Stage), and the new Reach campus is a great spot to picnic and watch the sunset. Also the roof Terrace is one of my favorite places to see a view of the city. Kennedy Center + walking around Georgetown always makes for a nice afternoon.
PolyD
Kennedy Center has a new immersive exhibit on JFK, too.
Minnie Beebe
Fly into National if you can. Dulles is WAAAY the heck out from the city (though I think the metro now goes out there, so it’s less inconvenient than it used to be.)
Just walk around to all the monuments– there are a bazillion of them. Newer ones (since your elementary school visit) are the MLKing memorial, FDR Memorial, Korean War, maybe Vietnam (depending on how old you are!). Walk around the Washington Monument, go to the Lincoln Memorial and reflecting pond. Everything is fairly close. Kennedy Memorial is a little farther.
Smithsonian Museums are all amazing– depending on your children’s interests, Air and Space, Natural History, American History are all great. The American Indian (excellent!) and African American History (haven’t been yet) Museums might require tickets?
There’s a new Air & Space Museum out by Dulles if you want to make the trek… it’s actually awesome. They have a decommissioned Space Shuttle inside the museum!! Very cool for Gen-X me!
Maybe work in a couple of informal college tours? Georgetown, GWU?
PolyD
II ink up need time tickets for Air and Space and maybe the Africa;American museum?
And don’t forget the Renwick, close to the White House.
PolyD
Ugh, that was, I think you need timed tickets for those museums.
Tickets
We were not able to get tickets online to the AA museum. One morning we just showed up there and they had tickets available. So we went right in. I think they hold back a certain amount every day.
ELS
The silver line goes out to Dulles now, but it’s still a hike. Certainly cheaper than needing to rent a car at the airport. DCA is much more convenient (even though we out in the west are happy to have the option)
Anonymous Grouch for the Alexandria Tourist Bureau
Consider staying in Old Town Alexandria, just across the river, and using Metro to commute into the city for sightseeing. Parts of downtown DC are still a bit dead without the office workers, lodging and food costs are higher there, and choices can be limited depending on the neighborhood. Old Town Alexandria has a lot of mid-range hotels where you can walk to the Metro (recommend Embassy Suites, Hampton Inn, Residence Inn) (and higher end choices if that’s what you want – Lorien, Indigo, Alexandrian, etc). It also has many, many restaurants in a “cute” walkable area, with a free trolly up and down King Street (the main drag) if you want to ride vs. walking. It’s also safe enough for your girls to go boutique-ing on their own.
Liza
The Smithsonian museums are awesome, easy to get to, free, and flexible. Eating and walking around the Gallery Place/Chinatown metro area is nice. If you all like baseball, Nats Park is really nice for catching a game. If your girls like malls, the mall at Pentagon City might make a nice break from history/museums, it’s huge with a lot of fun stores and really easy to get to as it’s on top of a Metro.
Anonymous
Fly into DCA.
Would either consider Georgetown for undergrad? If so, throw in a campus tour. (Even if they are too young, doing campus tours became a thing we did on vacation and it demystified them for when it mattered.
I’d do 2 museums (one art and one not, mix and match based on preferences. The Philips (paid) and Freer are personal favorites. African American History Museum is very heavy but excellent. American History Museum is fun and light. Part of Air and Space is closed, but the open section was just renovated and is quite good.) Add in something specific to Women’s history, I’d do either Mary Mccloud Bethune or the Belmont-Paul House. Go to the National Archives, but if you have limited time, skip the Library of Congress and Supreme Court (unless you have a future lawyer on your hands.)
Definitely visit the WH if you can, but it’s very tough to do so. Visit the Capital and your rep. Check with their offices to see if they have events when you’re there.
Eat Ethiopian while you’re here if you haven’t previously. It’s some of the best in the country and a different experience. If you want a fancy dinner, pick a Jose Andreas restaurant (if you want good, but not to spend additional time researching.)
Have fun!
PolyD
Seconding the rec to try Ethiopian.
Jaleo is always good, as are Zaytinya and Oyamel, for Jose Andres restaurants. You could have grasshopper tacos at Oyamel! He’s also just opened a new place in the former Trump hotel, can’t think of the name of it but I’ve heard it’s good.
If you want someplace a little nicer, I feel like Le Diplomate could be a nice experience for older teens. You can also walk up and down 14th Street just for fun.
Anon
Keren is the best Ethiopian I”ve had! Definitely eat there!
Anonymous
DCA is definitely the best and closest airport, and the yellow line metro should be open by then to take you directly into the city. If not Dulles is on the silver line so doable but also much farther. I think the Wharf is a great area to stay in because it’s close to a metro and the Mall area, so centrally located to get around the city but also lots of restaurants and a fun area to be. I would recommend checking out what shows are playing at National Theater, Kennedy Center, or Arena Stage too, of course the Smithsonians, and the Capitol. But what are your kids most interested in? Kid Friendly DC is a blog with a million suggestions for sightseeing.
Anonymous
Also, if you’re here May 6 or May 13, get up early and visit one or two open embassies. They’re neat!
Anonymous Grouch
One more note: coming from the west coast you will probably see more non-stop flights into Dulles (IAD) than National (DCA). Dulles is farther away from the city (it’s the international airport, and has the bulk of longer flights), but Metro just arrived there so you CAN land, get your luggage, and take a train into the city for just a few $$. Apparently it takes about 1 hour, but much of it is above ground and you can marvel at our bland suburban tech corridor as you chug past.
Anon
Consider adding the Hirshorn to your list. It’s small and cool and pretty teen friendly. Union Hall would be a good place to go if you don’t mind getting away from downtown.
Anonymous
We went last year with our tweens. We flew into DCA and stayed in Navy Yard. We stayed at a Marriott right across from the metro stop and it was cheap and convenient. Our kids really liked the Capitol tour (sign up online) and walking by the White House and Supreme Court. (Both were still closed to visitors or we would have toured them too). We liked the National Archives Museum and the American History Museum. Honestly, their favorite thing we did the entire time was rent scooters and ride over to the National Mall and walk up and down the Lincoln Memorial and play in the water.
Anonymous
My teen likes the National Portrait Gallery and Kramerbooks in DuPont Circle.
Anonymous
If you do fly in to IAD, check out the Udvar-Hazy museum if time permits. It has a space shuttle, the Enola Gay, and a lot of other really amazing stuff.
Anon
You could fly into either airport. DCA/Reagan is closer to the city and easier in that way, but Dulles is now connected via metro (it’s about an hour on the metro, FYI) so I’d choose flights over what is easier for you, rather than the airport (but all things being equal, would choose DCA).
All of the Smithsonians are awesome, so choose based off of your interests but you can’t go wrong. The National Portrait Gallery is great, but often overlooked.
The monuments at night are beautiful, and your daughters may think it’s cool to be out and about after dark.
At your daughters’ age I thought just being in a city was very fun and made me feel sophisticated and grown up. I”d recommend walking around the cool neighborhoods and just popping into shops or restaurants that catch your eye. For this I’d recommend Dupont Circle, Shaw, 14th St and U St corridors, Logan Circle, and Georgetown. The Wharf area could be cool too. Definitely take the metro for transportation, it’s easy and clean and as a teenager I thought public transportation was very fun.
Lunch at Union Market could be fun!
If there’s any interest in attending any of the DC schools (Georgetown, GW, Howard, American, UMD, George Mason, Catholic) I would definitely recommend taking a tour while you’re here.
PJ
A sandwich, cut up fruit and veggies in disposable containers. Small cheeses. All of this will be fine for a few hours at room temp.
Instant oatmeal (get hot water on the plane)
Dry cereal (get milk on the plane)
Anon
i’d add the Holocaust museum to your list of things to see. It is the best in the country by far. seeing the monuments at night is also fun. Farmers, Fishers and Bakers/Founding Farmers is a fun group of restaurants. Love Zaytina and Rasika. Agree with walking around Georgetown. I think in terms of sight seeing it also really depends if you and your teens have particular interests – like Mount Vernon is interesting and nice to visit if the weather is good
DC Pandas
Some current favorites sorted by neighborhood:
-Adams Morgan: Tryst coffee shop, lost city books, MalcomX/meridian hill park
-Chinatown: reren lamen & bar, MLK library, national portrait gallery
-NoMa: union maket, la cosecha (especially cafe unido & Peruvian brothers), politics & prose bookstore
-The national mall: National Gallery of Art (east tower is more impressionist/modern), Hirshorn (Kusama exhibit might need tickets), Moongate garden, Botanic gardens, Jefferson building library of congress
-Bloomingdale: pub & the people ($5 happy hour), big bear cafe, creative grounds, Crispus Attucks Park, alethia tanner park, metro branch trail
-Shaw/mt vernon sq: cafe U, chercher Ethiopian, Carnegie Library/apple store, the coffee bar, 14th street (for shopping)
DC Pandas
Foggy bottom: western market (esp. falafel inc), Kennedy center grassy rooftop, tatte bakery (these are all over town), toryumon ramen house, GW campu
Anon100
I’m super late to this and will repost tomorrow morning but for late teens, consider these 3 “fun” things too
– Yayoi kusama exhibit and infinity mirror room at the Hirschhorn if it’s still open when you visit. have to get online free online tix at noon at the website the day before you go.
– whatever interactive exhibit is open at Artechouse. I saw $19/person tix on the todaytix site for the current pixelbloom exhibit which is cheaper than the official website.
– go to the top of the tower at the old post office. free, no lines or advance tickets like the Washington monument.
what do your girls like ? it’s so easy to be consumed and overwhelmed with museums in DC, so what about visiting the zoo or just wandering around embassy row and the Spanish steps? or grabbing food at the wharf? I liked moon Rabbit (modern Vietnamese) but the prices are more special occasion for teens than your usual mom and pop pho place.
Airplane snacks
More travel crowdsourcing…
What is your favorite snack or meal bring on the airplane for a long flight? Looking for tasty and filling yet not offensive to seat mates.
Anon
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever packed food for a flight. I eat in the airport if it’s a long flight where no meal is provided. Otherwise I just eat the airplane food. It’s not amazing but it’s usually perfectly edible.
anon
I usually bring a protein shake that I froze (at least partially) so it is still nice and cold a couple hours later. I like the cafe latte flavor a lot from premier protein or the fairlands chocolate. Both have 30g of protein and 1g of sugar.
If I don’t have that and I am leaving from Love Field then I stop at the QT right outside of the airport and buy a lunchable.
Anonymous
Isn’t this an issue with liquid limits?
anon
it never has been. I don’t know why. it’s usually in my backpack and no one has ever said anything about it. I pull out the liquids bag with my eye drops and hand sanitizer and my laptop
Anonymous
No you don’t. This is not getting through security
Anan
I’ve taken frozen liquids (water, juice, breastmilk) through security before, so maybe that’s the way to do it?
Anon
Yeah you can take frozen liquid through. I’m not sure how that’s less of a security risk but for whatever reason they don’t care if it’s frozen.
Note though that breastmilk and baby food (and medicine) is different. Those are permitted even in liquid form over the size limit.
Anon
I wouldn’t risk it! You’d have to plan to lose your container and then have to buy something from an airport shop.
Which is what I would do anyway. I don’t want to be trying to pack food, keep it the right temp, take up that much room in my carry-on, etc.
Airports have all kinds of shops aimed at exactly this. If I’m not upgraded, I usually buy a salad or sandwich at one of these shops.
If you do back your own snacks, please avoid peanuts for the safety of your fellow travelers.
Anon8
I actually saw an official TSA social media account recommend bringing frozen liquids, though I’ve never tried it myself.
Flats Only
Peanut butter individual cup + some small pretzels, cheese sticks, dates & walnuts. Maybe some pepperoni or slim jims.
Liza
Nuts. Almonds or cashews typically.
Anon
Cheese, crackers, hummus.
Cat
baby carrots, cheese and crackers, TJs jerky, pita sandwich with chicken salad (not tuna)!
anonshmanon
An alternative to carrots can be apple slices and snap peas. I like Snyder’s pretzel pieces as an indulgent alternative to crackers.
Anon
If I have my act together, I make a ham, brie and jam sandwich on a baguette. All those ingredients hold up without refrigeration well and it tastes good. I slice into smaller pieces so I can snack along the way. I also take cheese and crackers, nuts, and homemade oatmeal cookies. I love my own food on a long trip.
anon_needs_a_break
Lara Bars, bananas, other granola bar-type things, nuts, maybe dried fruit. sometimes candy as a treat, which I almost never want in real life but love on a plane! I’m not big on full meals on planes for a variety of reasons, especially now since I maintain a mask at all times except when at cruising altitude for small bites and sips.
Anne-on
I like the sargento protein packs (basically adult lunchables) or if I really have my act together I’ll do a turkey, cheddar and green apple sandwich on a good crusty baguette – no condiments so it doesn’t get too soggy along with a bag of lays and sour candy (salty/sour helps with motion sickness for me).
Vicky Austin
That sandwich sounds amazing.
Anon
I always get peanut M&Ms at the airport.
Anon
Banana bread made with real bananas, applesauce instead of oil, and pecans. It contains a good amount of fruit and doesn’t make your hands sticky.
Chl
I bring Trader Joe’s chocolate covered almonds and eat them indulgently throughout the flight.
Anon
I usually bring a Clif bar or something for satiety, but only eat it if I’m actually hungry. I try to grab a meal in the airport before boarding and then the snacks I pack are fun snacks I look forward to while I”m stuck on a long flight (which for me is gummy bears and Smartfood).
PJ
A sandwich, cut up fruit and veggies in disposable containers. Small cheeses. All of this will be fine for a few hours at room temp.
Instant oatmeal (get hot water on the plane)
Dry cereal (get milk on the plane)
DC Pandas
Peanut M&Ms + 2-3 “trashy” gossip mags. Never fails to cheer me up!
Anon
A small box of See’s milk chocolate buttercreams.
Unfortunately, I am not flying in/out of SFO very often. Or maybe, that is for the better…
Anon
Yum!
Anonymous
Looking for two San Diego recommendations:
1- a fun Friday night dinner where I can drink really good margaritas and eat tacos
2- a good weekend lunch spot. Outdoor seating, pretty space, a leisurely lunch with three glasses of rosé
SMC - San Diego
What part of San Diego are you going to be in? Especially on Friday, you don’t want to try to navigate the 5/805 merge. Let me know and I can give you some recommendations.
For #2, the Prado fits the bill (in Balboa Park) but I can give a lot more recommendations once I know where you are going to be.
Anonymous
In the gaslamp quarter. Thank you!
JD
The Gaslamp isn’t my personal favorite, although there are some decent spots around.
For #2, as SMC says, taking an uber to Balboa (it’s a bit of a hike there with hills otherwise) would be nice. The Prado is lovely, and the Japanese Garden has cherry blossoms right now.
I also like walking over to the Brigantine which has a harbor view. There are a few restaurants there (the Brig’s a little old fashioned, but in a new complex with a couple of decent places). You could also go a little further to Little Italy, which has lots of outdoor seating, people watching, a weekend farmer’s market and a little boutique shopping). I think there’s a big Art fair that happens around this time of year too. I just tried Queenstown Public House, a bit cutesy corporate, but I enjoyed it for brunch by myself.
SMC - San Diego
For margaritas and tacos, I would head to Puesto (the one on Harbor Drive) from the Gaslamp. It is close and yummy and they have a nice patio if it ever stops raining. You could also either Uber or take the trolley to Old Town, which is a bit touristy but fun to walk around and has several Mexican restaurants of varying levels of authenticity. Check Yelp for reviews.
Real talk here – the Gaslamp has gotten a bit rough around the edges since the pandemic. It is a little better now that Horton Plaza has closed down but still not what it was. I would not characterize it as actively dangerous as long as you are not trying to score drugs but not the most pleasant area to walk around at night. Stick to the busier streets and consider an Uber at night.
Anonymous
Thank you! I visited ten years ago and it was lovely, what a shame. I’m stuck there for a conference but will definitely Uber at night.
Anon
Reposting from the weekend open thread:
What are your investment/classic jewelry pieces? I tend to have Madewell/Catbird sterling silver besides my engagement and wedding rings, but am contemplating making a few investment jewelry purchases over the next few years for myself and my daughter (think milestones like 40th, 16th, high school graduation.) Am considering Elsa Peretti diamonds by the yard pieces, Mikimoto pearl studs or the Elsa Perertti Star of David necklace for my daughter’s bat mitzvah. I don’t have any nice furniture or other “heirloom” items and like the idea of jewelry being able to be passed down. Would love to hear your thoughts/what your pieces are (may repost during the week as well.) Also curious about what your favorite watches are.
Moose
My thought is, buy something you love that is good quality. The pieces you mention are lovely and classic.
If it was me buying an heirloom piece, I would go for vintage/antique myself. So many beautiful designs that are unique! And usually better priced than new. May be an area to explore!
Anne-on
Classic earrings – a pair of black Tahitian pearl studs and the Paloma Picasso olive leaf drop pearl earrings (I wear these a ton and would 100% recommend them). I also suggest the nordstrom CZ stud earrings – veyr sparkly and a good way to see what size works best on you.
Over the years I’ve also been given a diamond by the yard necklace, a double strand black pearl necklace, a diamond solitare necklace, ruby and sapphire earrings and gold/silver bangles. They are all very classic styles and I wear them constantly – I also have a good relatioship with our local jeweler, I’d suggest you start to do the same so they can educate you and you can take your time trying things on to see what suits you. If you’d like to try the look/size of some pieces Dorsey makes very good simulated stones.
BeenThatGuy
I received Mikimoto pearl studs as a gift almost 17 years ago. Without exaggeration, I have worn them 4-5 days a week since.
Anon
I have a lot of jewelry, it’s kind of my thing, so my essentials change all the time.
I have lots of pearls – I’m a fan – and many of them are mixed strands, but my most basic strands are a 36” strand of white south sea pearls and a similar length of Tahitians.
I have basic pearl studs in different types of pearls, and an assortment of little gold studs for my second piercing – one pair has a tiny diamond in a flower setting, one has a tiny pearl, one pair of little y urman pave diamond stars – as well as gold hoops in various sizes. I don’t love the basic tube hoops unless I’m hanging a bauble from them, but I have some wider hoops ranging from huggie to what I would consider the small side of medium diameter.
I have three wedding rings I mix and match based on my whims, but most days I wear one of them on each of my ring fingers.
I have rose gold and yellow gold bangles I wear separately or together – I had both of them made for me at a bench jeweler in my neighborhood- and a collection of costume bracelets just for fun – vintage enameled bracelets and some hinged Bittar lucite bangles. My wrist skin doesn’t seem to be as sensitive as my neck/finger/ear skin, so I can get away with costume there.
I do not have a lot of gold chain + pendant necklaces because it’s not my thing.
Anon
I covet your pearl collection.
Anon
The pieces I wear the most are my pearl & diamond studs, gold knot studs, silver Tiffany studs, and diamond studs.
Anon
Tiffany mesh earrings
South seas pearls
Diamonds
But I’m Indian and we love baubles.
anon a mouse
Next year my BFF and I will hit milestone birthdays and all we want is a break, together. A break from planning for our kids, a break from thinking about anything other than what we want for ourselves. 3-5 nights, must have an incredible spa, warm weather nice but not required. We were thinking Canyon Ranch AZ but we are still gathering options; budget is flexible. We are coming from different places on the East Coast. Where else should we look?
Anon
Jealous! I would love to do this with my bff but she’s not comfortable leaving her kids. I’d look at Miraval Tucson.
Anonymous
Not OP but have you asked her if she was comfortable doing something within driving distance? I had a friend like this and it made all the difference for her anxiety knowing that she could just hop in the car and drive home if a kid got hurt and went to the hospital vs having to try and book a flight. We stayed W/Th/F/S/S and then came back after brunch on Sunday so she could have Sunday afternoon/evening with her kids.
Anon
She lives on the other side of the country unfortunately. But I don’t think it’s really anxiety about air travel so much as thinking her husband can’t manage the kids (and tbh she may be right.. I don’t think highly of him).
Anonymous
Could you fly to a destination
There’s a difference between thinking your DH can’t handle the kids for almost a week vs 3 nights – could get a sitter to help with a couple bedtimes.
Just suggesting because when I was in the thick of it with baby twins and an older kid, a 5 day fly away spa break would have been overwhelming even though DH is very competent (he’s done 50% of nights with babies since birthday), but driving a few hours and staying 2-3 nights would have been doable.
Anonymous
First line was supposed to say ‘could you fly to a destination that is near where she is?’
NYCer
If your budget is truly flexible, I would go to Blackberry Farm in Tennessee.
OOO
Ojo Santa Fe Resort. Has an amazing spa and a ton of different types of soaking pools. I believe they have a Girlfriend Getaway package.
Anon
I went to Ojo Santa Fe this fall and it was phenomenal. So beautiful and relaxing. So many hot tubs and pools to explore around the property. The spa was fabulous.
Anon
No suggestions, but I love looking at the recommendations on threads like this. I don’t think I’ll ever be in a position to take a trip like this, but it is so fun to fantasize.
Enjoy your trip!!!
Anonymous
Also look at IAD for flights. It is farther from DC (about an hour) but has more flights from the West coast. It may be cheaper and faster to fly into that airport if you would have a connecting flight into Reagan. Just
MZ Wallace
I am headed to NYC this week and would like to check out some MZ Wallace bags. Where can I find the best selection in the city?
anon
At their flagship stores.
Minnie Beebe
I’d start with the MZ Wallace store. :). In Soho.
Anonymous
Any tour guide/driver recommendations for Tuscany? We’re mostly hanging out on the coast at the beach but I’m thinking about a day trip into Pisa.
Anon
I’ve had good luck with Viatour, just look at reviews and make sure it has a high rating.
I would do Florence over Pisa if it’s your first time in Tuscany.
Anonymous
It’s our 4th time actually! I love that part of Italy. I’m on my own with the kids for this trip though and remember Pisa parking as a PITA so thinking of splurging on guide/driver of some type. Kids were little when they were here last so they don’t remember the Tower.
anonshmanon
It’s 20 min walk from Pisa train station to the tower, a nice walk past the main shopping street and historic old town. I liked the botanical gardens close to the tower, but much less crowded. For some reason I remember the Gelateria Bagni di Nerone, although all the gelato, all the time.
Anon
That makes sense! I love Tuscany too. It will probably never happen for a variety of reasons but I dream about retiring there.
Senior Attorney
yes my friend Claire is fantastic! claireintheworld.net
Anonymous
Thanks!
Anon
Looking for outfit advice….heading to the French Riviera at the end of May for 10 days with a couple girlfriends. What kind of outfits should we bring?? We’ll be splitting our time between Nice (with day trips to Monaco, Eze, Antibes, etc) and Provence (with day trips to the Luberon Valley, Aix en Provence, etc). We will likely do a drive through of Cannes and St Tropez. Will spring dresses and sneakers cut it? If yes, where are your favorite places to buy cute spring dresses? We are early 30s fwiw, and I am quite tall (5’11”). Open to any and all tips!
NYCer
Spring dresses and sneakers are perfect. I would bring some sandals too for restaurants, etc. Definitely do the Le Sentier du Littoral in Antibes. It is a walk / hike around the Cape and is absolutely spectacular.
Keep in that St Tropez is pretty far from Nice, and there can be quite a lot of traffic getting into the actual St Tropez town. Cannes is a much easier stopover coming from Nice.
Chl
Outfit sounds perfect. When we went to st tropez we took the ferry from st Raphael. It was less crowded and a nice quick scenic ride. Better to check out all the yachts:)
Anon8
Spring dresses with sneakers is the exact outfit I saw on practically every woman in Paris last spring. You’ll be good!
Anon6
Regular anon for this–I know the answer to this is likely “no”, but is it ever worth it to stick it out for a bit (a few dates) with a guy who’s “not looking for anything serious” to see if he changes his tune?
I went on a good first date with a guy (both late 20s) who had just moved to my city at the beginning of the year–he made some oblique references to leaving Old City for a change of scenery due to a bad breakup. In between our first and second date, he was upfront over text that he had determined he wasn’t in a place to pursue anything serious, given that he had just moved here and was still working through things from the past relationship, etc. At the time, the first date had been fun but not mind blowing, so I was fine with just hanging out as a side thing. I am also very aware that when a man says he’s not looking for anything serious, there is often a silent “with you, specifically” at the end, so I have been keeping that in mind.
Despite knowing all this, it’s now been a few weeks and, surprise surprise, I’ve gotten more than I bargained for, feelings-wise. We talk every day, have developed a strong intellectual/emotional connection, the gardening is great, etc. and I’m definitely catching some feelings. I know doing this as a long term casual thing would be a waste of time, but I’m wondering if it’s worth sticking around for another few dates (3-4) to see if he changes his position, given that he seems as into it as I am. I’ve always been of the general opinion that no, men rarely change their minds about these things (cue the Taxi conversation from SATC), but now of course that I’m on the other end of it, I’m doing mental gymnastics trying to see how it could work out differently for me.
Anon
Nope. Don’t set yourself up for unnecessary emotional pain. Get out while you have a positive view of dating and find someone else who’s into you.
Monday
Agree, and I’m also noting how OP is telling us she already knows the answer! OP, you’re calling your own optimism on this “mental gymnastics.” You know, and are outright saying, that you’re trying to talk yourself out of your truth. Do not undermine yourself like this. It can erode your confidence and self-trust.
nuqotw
No. I’m sorry.
Moose
The short answer is no.
The long answer is, if you feel like he is as into you as you think he his, why not bring up the topic again? Yes, people do change their minds, but the best policy is to 1.) Believe what people tell you and 2.) ask if you’re unsure. If you say, “Hey, I know you mentioned that you’re not looking for anything serious, but after spending time with you, I’ve found I really enjoy your company, etc. etc. Is there any chance you see that changing in the future?”
Worst case scenario is it ends now vs 3-4 dates from now.
Anon.
This.
Anonymous
If he was going to change his mind, he would have already.
Anon
+1 million. There’s no guessing when it’s the real thing.
Anon
IF you do want to pursue this, talk to him sooner rather than later about whether his feelings have changed. If this “scares him off,” he wasn’t the one for you anyway. Honestly assess during the conversation whether he’s saying what he thinks you want to hear. I would proceed only with extreme caution, and with the knowledge that he might not be truthful or that you might not want yo hear the truth.
If you don’t want to have that conversation or you feel like you already know his feelings haven’t changed, then break it off. You don’t deserve to get your feelings hurt in this way as you fall for him more and more. He has been honest with you. Treat yourself with enough kindness to listen.
Anonymous
Get out now. Men are a monolith and never change their minds. You know from the internet and I don’t know why you haven’t dumped him already. Your eggs are dying. You do not have time (we are talking what? days? weeks even?) to waste on good s3x and idle engaging conversation with this guy whose actions are completely opposite his initial statement to you. He is going to destroy you and all your chances of having a happy life with a husband and bio kids. Hurt him first.
Alternatively, you could have a chat with him and see where he’s at.
Anon
I am laughing out loud at this.
Anon
Hilarious. But I agree!
Anon
Absolutely not. I spent 6 months with a guy like this. At the beginning I also thought I didn’t want anything serious, but as time went on I caught feelings and then realized I did. It was an unpleasant breakup. Get out now before it gets worse.
Cat
the thing that gives me the most pause here is that if you bring it up and he says the right things… how can you actually trust the answer with risking wasting a lot of time? For that reason I think he would need to bring up his own change of mindset rather than you opening the conversation.
Anon
Yep, if he caught feelings and changed his mind, OP would already know. If the gardening is good, he’ll say whatever he needs to to string OP along.
thanksgiving anxiety
I agree with both of you and I’ve seen this dynamic play out dozens of times without exception. It doesn’t sound exciting to me to date a guy who after the first date explicitly said he’s not looking for something serious. If your goal is to get married and have a family you shouldn’t even allow this type of energy into your life. I’m absolutely not judging anyone, I literally spent my entire 20s dating guys like this.
Anon
I get squeamish about telling 22 year old women to not date unless it’s Serious… but late 20s? Don’t mess around. There is no good reason to wait until the last possible minute to marry and start a family.
28, date for two years, get engaged, engagement lasts a year, get married, want some time as a married couple before trying for kids… you’re looking at having your first at 32 or 33 and your second at 35+. I had my first and only a mere month before I turned 39, so I’m not saying that 35+ is the end of all fertility… just that it’s good to have the option to wrap things up then. Pregnancy at almost-40 suuuuuucks.
Anon
I think engagements and timelines for kids tend to be sped up when you meet in your late 20s or later. Most of my friends met their husbands after 30 and had two kids before turning 35. In your teens or early 20s most people wouldn’t dream of getting engaged without several years of dating, but once you’re a bit older it’s pretty common to get engaged after a year or so of dating. It’s also pretty typical to have a short engagement (if you want some time as a married couple and don’t care as much about the wedding) or to start trying for kids immediately after getting married (if you spent a long time engaged so you could plan an elaborate wedding).
Anon
Nope. This is a guy who still has all the habits of a long term relationship (because he just got out of one) without the emotional availability of one. Listen to his words and not his actions and get the heck out. I’m sorry!!
Anon
“All the habits of a long term relationship” nails it. I’ve known men like this and it’s easy to get sucked in for months or years, only for it to end “suddenly.”
Anon
+1
Anon
This is really insightful and explains a lot of my failed relationships. Happily married now for 10 years but wish I’d read this once upon a time!
Anonymous
I don’t know the answer but I wanted to jump in about “he seems as into it as I am.” A lot of men are perfectly happy to have the girlfriend experience – daily talks, engaging conversation, great gardening, maybe even opening up to you – as long as it’s fun/fulfilling for him. The challenge is whether he sticks around when it’s not fun for him. Pay close attention to how he acts when you open up to him, when you’re not available when he wants to do something because you already have plans, when you want to change plans slightly to accommodate something for yourself. Women (incl me!) often discount male selfishness because we’re socialized to be selfless and accommodating. Make sure he’s willing to give even when it’s inconvenient for him.
Anon
This post at 12:22 plus the post at 12:15! Lots of guys like having a girlfriend – it’s comfortable, there’s gardening, someone to eat dinner with – but if they aren’t ready emotionally, believe them.
That said, “not looking for anything serious” could mean different things. I dated two men: one who had just had a bad breakup and SAID he was ready but his actions did not, and I stuck around for nine long, heartbreaking months waiting for him to change his mind; and my now-husband, who said he wasn’t looking for anything because he was recently divorced, but it was one of those marriages that had been over for years and very quickly he showed his enthusiasm for being with me and within 3 months had to make a professional decision about accepting a transfer and turned it down because he wanted to stay in my city to be with me.
I was honest with my husband at one point. I said, “Look, I was burned by Guy 1 [whom we had discussed] and I’m legitimately scared here. I’m developing feelings for you, but if you’re not ready, please tell me. I’m trusting you and I need to know what you’re feeling.”
Anon
Get out and stop wasting your time. He told you he isn’t ready for a relationship.
Even if he magically changes his mind about wanting a relationship, he knew before meeting you that he’s not in a good place. He needs to process the breakup, otherwise he’s just using you to fill the hole in his life. You’ll waste months with this guy before he realizes he still needs to work through his issues or fell into a relationship with someone who’s not a fit.
Anon
+1 I did this on and off ish with an unavailable man I caught feelings for even though it was always going to be casual for three years. He was only in it for the $ex no matter how much he professed his love bc guess what, he still asks for $ex even though I completely ignore him.
Get out now.
Anon
The way I see it, you have two options.
1) Keep dating him for the next 6-9 months while looking for any indication that he wants something serious. Continue tog et your hopes up and waste your time, mental energy, etc until he eventually breaks things off leaving you heartbroken and miserable for another 3 months.
2) Dump him, move on and enjoy your summer dating other men who might actually be what you’re looking for and save yourself the headache.
Anon
Spot on. And choose option 2.
Liza
If you’re looking for something serious, and he says he’s not, you’re not compatible. So I think you should tell him that, “I know you mentioned you’re not looking for anything serious, and at this point in my life, I do want a serious relationship, so it doesn’t make sense for us to keep seeing each other.” Don’t ask him if maybe he’s changed his mind, just act as if obviously you won’t see each other any more because you want different things. He can let you know if he feels differently.
Anon
This!! Do this.
Jules
Agree with this approach. And I’m sorry you’re in this painful situation.
Anonymous
+1
anon
I think that someone who is fairly fresh off a breakup so bad that he moved to another city is probably not ready for a new relationship even if he thinks he is. In this case, where the guy is actually aware that he’s not ready and has told you so, I think it’s a doubly bad idea to keep dating him hoping he has or will change his mind. I know it s*cks because making a good connection is rare, but probably the time to tell him that you need to end things given that you know he’s not looking for a relationship and you’re starting to feel attached.
Anon
No!
anon
ISO of a rose or dusty mauve nail polish. Any favorites in the muted pink family?
Moose
Essie in Demure Vix
anon
Darn, it’s discontinued! Too bad; it’s a beautiful color.
Anonymous
Olive & June in World Lit.
Betsy
Olive & June Fig Ranch is another great one.
Anon
Campers, especially backpackers, talk to me please re bear bags vs bear cans. Our group needs to buy 2 more bear bags but after some recent struggles finding good trees for hanging bags in, I wonder if we should move to cans, which I understand some places to require. Do you pack in them (one per person)? Do you have a separate one for trash? Are they heavier? I need to go to REI this weekend or next and they may have answers but it may be sale time when they are overwhelmed.
Mar
They are definitely heavier, but as you said, some places (Yosemite and Yellowstone come to mind) require them. We pack in them – food goes in the bear can and then into the backpack, which is helpful because then your pack doesn’t smell like your food. We don’t really have a plan for trash – as we eat the food, we put whatever trash there is into a zip lock and then that goes in whichever bear can we’ve got available. I’ve done this with groups of 3 – 6 adults; usually each person carries their own bear can so someone always has some room.
Anon
I’m a big fan of bear cans, which are way easier then trying to hang food correctly, and they’re required in places like Yosemite. The downside is that they’re big enough that they take up a fair amount of pack space if you have a small pack (I’m a small person with a short torso, and generally hiked with other women). You definitely need to pack food in them to make good use of space, and I guess your trash too, though I usually pack so that there isn’t much trash. I haven’t been on a backpacking trip in a few years, but my recollection from when I used to backpack a lot was more like one for every two people for long weekend trip. A longer trip would require more, or if you eat more or pack bulkier food.
DC Pandas
I prefer bags over cans in woody areas. I find the cans uncomfortable to carry due to their bulky size in my fairly small pack- I only use them when required.
In addition, some bears in more popular parks have managed to open the cans (especially the clear plastic ones) so there is an association between the cans & food. I think the safety of the cans is overstated by manufacturers.
backpackin' lawyer
Backpacker here.
– Keep in mind certain places (Adirondacks, for instance) require a certain type of bear cannister because bears have learned how to open certain ones. Prob worth it to call rangers in the area you plan to be in to confirm what type is required if any.
– We love our bear bag (made of Kevlar; brand is Ursack) which we use odorproof bags inside of (look on ‘zon). We pack both our food (2 people) in one bag and as we eat, there is space left over and we store any trash in the emptied odor proof bag.
Anon
To the poster who mentioned they were of mixed race and didn’t have anyone to talk to – The California Report Magazine is doing a really nice series called Mixed. Each episode includes an in-depth interview with mixed race individuals from CA. They have done 2 or 3 episodes already and I have really enjoyed them so far.
Anon
Not the OP that asked for this, but thank you for sharing!
anon
Thank you- I was OP of the original thread and will look at this!
Anon
Would appreciate some dress recommendations for an early summer wedding, (historical temps around 70, but could be +/- 15 degrees) – wedding is in the afternoon, but I imagine we’d be there as the temps drop (low is in the 40s). I’m a 12/14 Pear shape and would like to stay around $100 – is that unreasonable? I’m not sure what I’m looking for! Any good ideas?
Anon
$100 gets you H&M and fast fashion generally, so if that’s not your vibe the budget is unrealistic.
Anon
I have gotten 3 black tie dresses for around $100 at Nordstrom Rack and Macys.
anon a mouse
You could probably hit a sale at Boden or Nordstrom to find something. Nordstrom now carries some Lulu’s dresses that could work.
Anon
I would do a fun, floral midi dress with a wrap or other layer. Lulu’s is always my first stop when looking for dresses for weddings, but also check out Macys, Nordstrom / Nordstrom Rack.
Is the reception outdoors and if so will there be heat lamps or a tent?
Anon
Actually, now I’m second guessing myself! I don’t think the wedding website mentioned indoor/outdoor, and I had just assumed outdoor. The venue is a lodge on a lake, and checking their website they have both an indoor space and also mention tents – so probably either!
Looks like Lulus and the Rack are the most mentioned, so I’ll shop around :) Thanks.
pugsnbourbon
Here are a couple from a quick look at Nordstrom Rack:
https://www.nordstromrack.com/s/alexia-admor-lily-crew-neck-midi-dress/6033990?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FMidi&color=120
https://www.nordstromrack.com/s/alexia-admor-v-neck-puff-sleeve-midi-dress/6100815?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FMidi&color=613