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If you have a milestone birthday coming up, or perhaps got an amazing bonus, I'm drooling over this brightly colored Loewe puzzle bag. It's $3300 at Nordstrom, and may be available for pickup today.
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Anon
Thanks for the link to the LE wool pants. They offer custom inseam lengths!! Just ordered some.
Anonymous
For those who travel a lot – is there a good time of year to go to Edinburgh where it’s warmer – say 60 degrees at least though could do 50s – but also not squarely in tourist season? Seems like it’s a city with a lot of events and festivals. I tend to love cities when they’re a bit emptier with locals just going too and from work without thousands flying in for an event.
Cb
Edinburgh is always touristy but May or September would be the best bet.
anon
I used to live in Edinburgh and I really love May and early June there. Lots of spring flowers in May, and temps are generally pleasant. And it’s very light. Ahhh, I miss it.
Anon
I was there in June this year and it seemed like a good time to go. We didn’t overlap with any major festivals, and the weather was pleasant. The Royal Mile is touristy, but that’s to be expected. The rest of the city was chill and manageable. Have fun!
Anon
June is good.
Anony
This was about 10 years ago, but I thought Edinburgh in May was lovely and relaxed.
Anon
August and the New Year are the two biggest tourist seasons in Edinburgh. Like others I’d suggest May/June or late September if you’d like it a bit quieter, but the weather is never guaranteed. It’s quite temperate though – it’s never going to get incredibly cold.
Anonny
I’m planning ahead to my birthday next year and planning a beach resort/warm weather getaway with a couple of girlfriends. I know there’ve been recommendations before for all-inclusives, but I don’t remember the posts they’ve been on. Adult only would be great, but not the highest on the priority list. I’m envisioning the majority of the time would be spent sitting by the pool/water, but I’d also like the option of going on some form of adventure if we wanted. We’re coming from DC, so something that’s an easy/non-stop flight. Ultimately the biggest goal is someplace where I can celebrate, but also we can all turn our brains off because it’s also the holidays.
Lily
Excellence Playa Mujeres!
Anon
What time of year? This time of year?
Anonymous
Yep
Anon
Live Aqua Cancun is the best all-inclusive I’ve been to, and I’ve been to quite a few. It’s adults only but super chill, not a party vibe at all, and not one of those ultra-romantic places where you feel like you’re out of place if you don’t have a partner you’re constantly smooching.
Anon
le Blanc Riviera Maya is amazing.
Doodles
Royalton Chic Punta Cana. Adult only. It was much smaller than other all inclusives that I’ve been to. And the spa was so nice! There were excursions that were offered with pick up at the resort (we went horse back riding on the beach).
anon
Not sure if this fits the bill, but we went to St. Lucia in November. We stayed at Anse Chastanet, which had an all-inclusive food option. No pool, but there are two amazing beaches and snorkeling. If you wanted to get off the resort, the Tet Paul Nature has amazing views of.the island. It can be a little quiet in the evenings, but the beach bar usually has some form of live entertainment.
Anon
I love St. Lucia but it’s pretty hard to get to from most of the US and also flights are really expensive. We wanted to go there for spring break once but the tickets were $1,200 per person from a major airport (ORD). Cancun or one of the more popular Caribbean islands like PR or Jamaica is going to be much easier and cheaper in terms of flights.
Anon
Do not go to the Wyndham Alltra in Cancun. I just went and was disappointed. I went to Bahia Ambar which is an all inclusive adults only resort in the Dominican Republic a few years ago and it was great!!
Anon
I’m a different Anon, but we went there this summer with my in-laws (they picked the place and had a very modest budget) and OMG IT WAS SO AWFUL. Like I’ve been to a bunch of all-inclusives where the food was mediocre and that’s whatever. My expectations for food aren’t high at an all-inclusive. But the service sucked, the pools were FILTHY and insanely crowded, loud music all day, the food was basically inedible, drinks were watered down beyond belief, we saw so many roaches (I know it’s the tropics and there are bugs, but I’ve never seen so many roaches at a resort), my in-laws all caught norovirus from the buffets and my daughter got a UTI from the pool water. It was the vacation from hell in every way possible. My husband is way less snobby than I am about hotels and food and he was miserable and couldn’t wait to come home.
DO NOT GO THERE under any circumstances. It’s super cheap but it’s cheap for a reason!!
ollie
El Dorado Maroma in Riviera Maya!
Anon
I’m heading to London next week and wondering if Uber still works there?
Anon
Someone may have more up-to-date info but my friend who was there a few weeks ago said not really — you need to use a black cab.
Curious
We used Uber in Shoreditch and environs with no issues except medium wait times a few weeks ago.
Anon
Thanks. For many reasons I prefer Uber to the alternatives, glad to know it’s still there.
Anon
I think the Gett app works in London
Anonymous
Taxi – whatever brand – will almost never be the best transport in London
Tube, bus and walking will almost always be best.
Anon
We’re traveling with someone mobility restricted so those alternatives aren’t really options.
Anonymous
I’m sorry, that is a different situation. You’ll still do okay on the Jubilee and Elizabeth line tube, if those are close to any of your journeys, but yeah, not the other ones.
The classic London cabs have low instep, roomy cabs and knowledgeable drivers. Minicabs will be just normal cars. If you need space for a wheelchair, you have to make special bookings, but whatever the car, your problem will mostly be time. Journeys by car in London take a lot of time compared with public transport. For lots of routes you could walk faster the car.
If the person with mobility restrictions are not wheel chair bound, they might do okay with London buses. The buses have a low instep, you don’t need to climb aboard, they are low and flat.
Anon
Many thanks, appreciate the extra info!
Ses
Black cabs are great for some types of mobility restricted folks because they’re roomy and low to the ground.
The apps Gett or FreeNow are both good ones for black cabs, but you can also just flag one down.
Highly recommend them above Uber for the roominess and generally speedier travel. (They can use bus lanes)
I use Uber regularly in the UK but have not used it in London itself recently.
Anon
Thank you!!
Hospice
Suggestions about how to choose a hospice provider? My parent will probably be moving into hospice in the next several weeks. I’m in Salt Lake City if anyone has any recommendations.
Anon
I’m so sorry. Have been through this three times unfortunately, and we always went with the hospital’s recommendation. If you’re looking for a facility, you just have to wait for a bed to be open / someone else to die (sorry to be blunt but that’s what it is) so you really have to choose based on availability.
Hugs to you from someone who has been there.
Anon
+1
social workers often know the best. they are not supposed to favor one over the others but ask them “where would you want your mother to go?”
Anon
Inpatient hospice or a home service?
If inpatient, I would ask your parents’ doctor / nurse referring them. Usually it is an oncologist or dementia specialist or palliative care doctor experienced with treating patients with chronic, life ending diagnoses.
Couples don’t go though – just the one sick person, close to death.
Then read the online reviews. Keep in mind online reviewers self select for the extremes. But honestly, most hospices are not great unless your loved ones have very few needs. They are simple, with low staff and few resources, but sometimes that is ok. For my complicated family member they were not, but home hospice is pretty useless.
Then call and ask how many patients they have and how many staff (especially overnight). Ask if your loved one will have their own room, and visiting restrictions. Then go visit.
I’m so sorry you are going through this.
joan wilder
I am so sorry. We recently went through this and got several recommendations from the family member’s medical care team. We went with the first one who seemed caring because it was overwhelming but if I could do it again I would meet more than one (they had admissions managers who came to the house to share about their services) and ask frank questions about 1) how/if they have staffing issues; 2) how nurse case managers are supervised and what if is it not a good match/have issues with your manager and 3) what services are available for bereavement and if they are available out of state. This assumes you are looking at home hospice–I don’t have facility experience yet, We had a very rocky experience with our hospice provider which I don’t say to alarm you–I just wish I had known. Wishing you peace.
Hospice
Thank you all. This will be for in-home care. The good news is that healthy parent is very healthy and intimately involved in care and is an excellent advocate for the dying parent (cancer). I will put your suggestions to use as we move into this next life stage.
Anonymous
Ask them about what palliative services they plan to offer. They can have different approaches than you might expect. For instance, they wouldn’t provide IV antibiotics for my person’s chronic infections dince that was a promary reason he needed it – but would for other people, so that was a nonstarter for us. Another one recently wouldn’t provide IV fluids for somebody who is losing a partner to cancer. They can have weird lists so you might walk through the most likely medical events your person is likely to face.
anon
These are very important, and excellent questions.
Some Hospice companies want you to stop seeing all your other doctors. We couldn’t do this, as my Mom needed her neurologist to manage her complicated pain med regimen, for example. Also like the other poster, we wanted my Mom to be treated with antibiotics if she got a UTI. Why should she die from a UTI if she wants to live until her cancer takes her, as comfortable as possible?!?! But some hospice companies don’t want to do this.
Also, just know…. Home Hospice really supplies very minimal care, and no matter how healthy your other parent is, they should not have to manage this alone. Dying at home usually means around the clock care from family or hired help, at some point. Hospice can be very helpful initially in setting the home up with necessary equipment, like a hospital bed and very simple basic bathroom equipment that might be needed. But hands on care in the home is minimal. A nurse should be reachable 24 hours a day and home visits will be occasional depending upon how your loved one is doing. Having a doctor be able to advise the nurse over the phone when needed can be very convenient. But you will likely not interact with this doctor. This can be ok, or not. A home health aid can come infrequently to help with bathing, but it might be a different person every time, and may not be when would be convenient, and just…. is really not much help.
Like the other poster said – remember, you can also cancel Hospice at ANY MOMENT, and go see your own doctors if you want to. Some hospice companies just do the minimal care, and they will keep more of the Medicare allotted payment by actually providing less care, so there is a disincentive for treatment. They get paid very little via Medicare, so I guess that is not surprising.
Our Hospice experiences have been poor. In our last experience, the intake nurse was wonderful, empathic, supportive, gave all the right answers and left us relieved and hopeful. Every person afterwards left us uneasy, upset or drained. We had one good nurse, and even she said thoughtless things.
anon
I’m so sorry. Know that many people have great hospice experiences. My family’s was not so good.
I had a very bad experience with a large for-profit hospice provider and a much better experience with a regional nonprofit hospice provider. The for-profit had a great intake/sales rep nurse that said all the right things, but the sales pitch wasn’t backed up with the actual staffing, which caused prolonged needless suffering.
Ask if an MD or NP is available 24/7 and how long it takes to get a call back or a visit if needed. If the illness is cancer or something else painful, ask what kind of pain medication they can and can’t provide.
Back when I was dealing with this, it was possible to call 911 and reverse hospice if necessary to get decent palliative care. Confirm that process just in case.
Anon
Does anyone live near an AirBNB house and isn’t made miserable by it? I used to have one next to me (with sweet outdoor entertaining deck and porch) and now another neighbor does and it’s always the same story: weekend renters will party, especially after the bars close, and if it is above freezing, will take it outside, to the utter joy of actual people living nearby who do not like to be woken up b/w 2 and 4 in the morning. And I live in a boring neighborhood in a boring city, not Nashville or New Orleans or a place known for attracting partiers (not that the tourists should matter for town residents living in a residential neighborhood and not somewhere like Wrigleyville).
The new AirBNB owner is demanding that the neighbor send him decibel readings (as if being up at 4am is not sufficient proof that the noise is loud enough to disturb an old dude who has dodgy hearing to begin with. I just hate them so much that I won’t stay in an AirBNB. Life’s too short. They are so horrible for anyone bordering them.
Anonymous
Are there local noise ordinances?
Anon
Former party house neighbor in a big SEUS city. There are noise ordinances. But we are in a real city with actual crime, so the police may not actually come. And with a long-term rental, those people might have an incentive to shape up, but with an AirBNB, there are new offenders every weekend, so even if the police come, it’s an hour or two later and your sleep is already wrecked. It’s not a win and it’s not like the AirBNB will be shut down and future rentals cancelled. If city council people lived next door, maybe? But the owner foisting this upon me lived miles away. He only go out of the business because he got an offer to buy the house off-market back when the market was hot. I’ve been to Vegas and New Orleans and didn’t act like the AirBNB people did in any hotel I ever stayed in.
Anon
We have one on my street and it is not a problem but I gather than the owner very carefully vets people (basically nobody under 25; strict limits on the number of people enforcing with (disclosed) cameras, etc.). He said the damage that drunks do are not worth the money they pay.
Anonymous
I used to live by one that was fine. The only annoyance was sometimes an extra couple cars parking on the street. But this was a very, very boring area of the city that was not very convenient to public transport.
Anon
Right next to us. I never would have known until we became friends with the owner of the Airbnb house. But the owners live on the other side of the Airbnb house and tout that in their listing as a benefit (we are so close if you need anything!), that it scares away crazy people. My only complaint has been the family having fun in the pool on a July afternoon while I had to work – I wanted to be in the pool.
thanksgiving anxiety
I’m with you. I’m chill about most things people here get mad about but I’m a complete Karen about AirBNB and lecture my friends whenever they try to make me stay in one lol.
If only there were separate buildings designed to host travelers…oh wait.
Anon
No, but that is awful and completely worth of complaint.
I do stay in AirBnBs but choose locations that are downtown (with only businesses nearby) or that are outbuildings on the host’s property (so I can’t really annoy neighbors without annoying the hosts). Also I don’t throw parties! I respect the decision to boycott, but I’m not principled enough to put myself through a hotel stay if I can avoid it.
These hosts sound like monsters and I wonder if there’s a way to complain directly to AirBnB or to your city?
Anon
Would be nice if verified neighbors could review hosts of problem properties and announce to renters that that live next door and care about not being woken up pre-Dawn or having to step over broken glass.
Anon
We have a second home in a town full of them. They don’t bother us at all, and I like it – they bring life to the area.
Anon
If everyone is on vacay mode, it probably doesn’t rub you the wrong way. Try doing your residency and, surprise, that quiet place where you thought you could sleep suddenly isn’t.
Anon
Well, we’re there enough to know. I split my time between locations with my job and no, it doesn’t rub me the wrong way at all. Different strokes. I’m not bothered by noise and prefer a lively, noisy neighborhood.
Anon
Noisy at what hours though? And everyone is cool with this? Like noise at and after dinner is one thing but overnight would make me pull a Karen. Since I’ve been old enough to own a house I have been too damn tired to party like a rock star and need to sleep.
Anonymous
I live next to an illegal air bnb I report it to the city pretty frequently and they get fined but still operate. It’s such a crappy thing to do to a neighborhood. The occupants will often drink all night in the back yard and are always super loud. I hate it.
Solidarity
Oh man, we had one across the street from us (single-family house in residential neighborhood, not a big or touristy city) and it was awful!! Parties all night when it was rented out, people crossing the street and coming into our yard to hang out in the middle of the night, constant issues with overflowing trash cans, piles of litter in the street, etc.
Thankfully the AirBNB investor sold the house. The new owner lives there and our lives have improved so much.
Anon
Help me get jazzed up for dinner with my husband and some fun friends, even though I have a crazy-weather-system-induced headache. Upscale (but not dress-code nice) seafood restaurant, can get dropped off by the door, weather will be rainy and 40-ish (the temp drop hits later tonight). Should I wear:
Black suede mini-skirt (that’s seen better days), army green long-sleeved top I’m wearing to work, black tights and heels,
Dark gray sweater dress (that seems very nice, but always feels a little more drab and less flattering than I think it should), black tights, colorful heels,
Burgundy satin a-line skirt, white sweater, black tights and heels.
Sparkly gold long v-neck sweater, dark skinny jeans (yes, I know), heels or heeled boots.
Yes, I know I really need some new going out clothes, especially for winter. But to be fair, I hate everything that’s in stores lately.
Anne-on
For dinner I always default to the most interesting top as that’s what people will see most of the time, so I vote for the gold sweater and some fun earrings. Enjoy and I hope your headache gets better soon!
Anonymous
+1
Anon
This is my default too. In the winter, I just wear jeans and booties and then pick an interesting top and some big hoop earrings. True confession: I have gotten away with just wearing a black turtleneck and big sparkly OTT earrings. Works great with my hair pulled back and some red lipstick.
Anon
I also vote gold sweater, but I’d pair w suede miniskirt, tights and heels instead of the jeans.
Anon
Burgundy satin A-line skirt with white sweater, black tights, and heels!
It sounds festive, fun, and warm, and also, it’s the only description of the three that you didn’t make a negative comment about, which makes me think it is the one you feel best in. Also, burgundy satin feels very holiday-ish and it’s the right time to wear something like that.
Enjoy the dinner!
Anon
I’d wear the skinny jeans outfit.
Anonymous
Me too! Sparkle is perfect for this time of year and your skinnies need a few more fun nights out. Have fun!
Anon
Sparkly gold long v-neck sweater and suede miniskirt!
Anonymous
When a suede mini skirt is an option, always choose that!!
Anonymous
Ooo, definitely the burgundy skirt outfit! Sounds like you have great going out outfits to me. Have fun!
Vicky Austin
Anything stopping you from burgundy satin skirt + sparkly gold long v-neck sweater?
Either that, or one of the two you outlined including those pieces. Don’t be ashamed of skinny jeans!
Anne-on
Good point – longer sweaters over a flowy maxi skirt is very in right now!
Anon
Voluminous sweaters, yes, but not necessarily long sweaters.
Anon
Agree! The burgundy satin skirt sounds gorg
Cat
I vote for the satin skirt outfit – it sounds both on-trend, comfortable, and cute.
Anon
Favorite non-pasta budget meals? Inflation and Christmas is killing my budget.
Anne-on
I love this: https://smittenkitchen.com/2013/07/one-pan-farro-with-tomatoes/
I’m also a big fan of ‘put an egg on it’ for dinner – favorite bagged salad with a soft boiled egg, sauted veggies with scrambled eggs and toast. I’d also look into more soups/stews – there is less meat or the cuts of meat are often cheaper and more budget friendly!
Anon
+1 we eat a lot of eggs. Dinner tomorrow is going to be homemade focaccia (Bon Appetit’s no knead recipe) and fried eggs.
Vicky Austin
Put an egg on it is my favorite thing to do with the Smitten Kitchen broccoli wild rice casserole, too! Plus it makes casseroley, carby dishes stretch further with more staying power.
Anon
Making this. Thank you!
Anan
I make this farro dish all the time. I like to throw in a can of cannellini beans for bulk and protein. I also make it with canned tomatoes when fresh tomatoes and costly and/or tasteless.
Anon
I added farro to my grocery list!
Anon
I love lentil curry. Red lentil, onion, ginger, garlic, carrot, can of diced tomatoes, spices, cilantro, maybe coconut milk. I eat it with rice.
Anon
ooh, what spices do you tend to use? A prepackaged spice mix? I have a lot of the indian spices but I don’t have good instincts on how to combine them – I really rely on recipes.
Anonymous
Beans and rice or cornbread, tuna croquettes, tuna salad, whole chicken used in multiple meals (roast chicken one day, chicken tacos with leftover meat, then chicken soup), breakfast for dinner (my mom always made pancakes for dinner at the end of the month when there was no money left until payday), potato soup, baked potatoes.
Anon
I do the roast chicken thing already, but tuna croquettes are something I hadn’t considered. My mom used to make salmon patties using canned salmon – they sound similar. thank you!
NYNY
I made a variation on these this week: https://smittenkitchen.com/2013/05/japanese-cabbage-and-vegetable-pancakes/ Delicious, super-easy, and made up for a weekend of holiday party food that was light on vegetables. I used vegetables in my fridge – cabbage, carrots, and onions – and only 4 eggs. Topped with kewpie mayo, hoisin sauce, and chile crisp.
Anon
thank you! I’m going to make these!
Lydia
these are SO GOOD; I make them monthly!
Anonymous
Mussels, either in tomato broth or white wine sauce. We used to call this “under five minutes, under five dollars” it was my husbands favorite. Crusty bread is necessary for dipping.
Anon
I love mussels but they’re $12/lb where I live (on a coast!) and I’m sure we’d need more than a pound. Inflation, man!
Anonymous
Ugh I’m so sorry! I have never seen them that high!
Anon
How is mussels a budget choice? I love them but they’re super pricey.
Anon
Chili, even vegetarian kinds and canned soup and grilled cheese.
Anonymous
PSA for those who live in places that rarely get snow, ‘all season’ tires are not actually all seàson, they are typically for temperatures above 7 C / 45 F, they lose traction in the cold and are dangerous in snow. Snow tires are made of a softer rubber. Thanks for reading and please be safe!
Anon
I had studded snow tires when my parents moved to near the AT. They were so noisy but they worked. I think they are illegal in a lot of places b/c they tear up roads, but even basic snow tires make a huge difference. Also: 4WD does not work on ICE.
Anonymous
I need all the drivers in NC to read that last sentence and then read it again. Every year, without fail, we get at least one “snow” that’s really just ice and people (usually dudes with giant trucks) attempt to drive on it because they have 4WD, with predictably bad results.
Curious
My ABS thanks you… it worked for me on Wednesday, but I’m not going out again until we melt.
Anne-on
This. I remember the first winter I drove in MA after living in the NYC area for years. I was driving slowly, in a 4WD car with new ‘all season’ tires and I still slid out at the bottom of a smallish hill. We’ve been loyal users of snow tires ever since.
Stay safe everyone and stay off the roads unless you truly need something!
Anon
I live in Alaska and my all season tires get me around just fine. But I also know how to drive on snow and ice.
Anon
This is weird to me. I’m in the Midwest in a place where it’s quite snowy and often under 45 F from November to March and I’ve never owned snow tires. Regular tires are completely fine if you know how to drive in snow and ice.
JB
This. Experience, technique and going slow.
Anonymous
I generally agree (I’m in NYC and used to live in Boston), but in places where it never snows, they don’t necessarily plow or salt or sand the streets though, so it can be much more treacherous.
Anon
I grew up in northern NJ and we had snow tires as a kid but switched at some point to all-seasons. They were quieter but also not as good but likely good enough. Ice was the killer for us more than snow though especially before the sun was up.
Vicky Austin
As a northern-latitudes tr@nsplant to Texas, get whatever helps you drive most safely. In some places, that means get the snow tires because lord knows nobody’s plowing the streets.
(double post went to mod sorry)
Vicky Austin
As a northern-latitudes transplant to Texas, get whatever helps you drive most safely. In some places, that means get the snow tires because lord knows nobody’s plowing the streets.
AnonMom
Also Midwest where is is currently in the teens until probably June, and also have never driven with snow tires.
I do prefer all weather over all season, because all season are kinda the bargain basement option that wears down quickly and needs replaced way too often. But my current car has cheap all season ones the dealer put on when I bought it 18 months ago and it drove home in the blizzard conditions tonight just fine.
Maybe it’s just that we grew up doing this and have never known anything different? It always puzzles me when colleagues from here talk about their snow tire appointments.
Anonymous
No, sorry. If there is actual winter, you do need proper tires. 45 F is autumn/spring, not winter.
If you’re driving on ICE without winter tires where I live, you’ll lose your licence.
Anon
Where do you live? I’m in the Chicago area and have never heard of a law requiring snow tires.
Anonymous
In Canada and many people use all seasons. They are adequate if you know the techniques for driving in snow and ice like increased stopping distance and steering into the skid.
Anonymous
They are not adequate which is why snow tires are legally required in Quebec.
Anonymous
+1
Anonymous
Quebec is the only province that requires them and not all provinces deal with minus 30 and tons of snow.
Anonymous Canadian
With respect I completely disagree. The rubber compound in all-season tires is not soft enough for truly cold conditions and your car will not hug the road no matter what driving techniques you employ. At least in the parts of Canada where it gets really cold! Please consider investing in good winter tires for your safety!