Corporette.com

Updated: Oct 30, 2018 187 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Hair Tie Bracelet Combo Set of 3 Bracelets

Office Hairstyles: Our Best Advice For Professional Hair· The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

hair-tie-braceletsI noticed readers discussing hair tie bracelets the other day — and yes, they are a thing. You can find them all over the place (huh, including Amazon!), but Etsy seller MyHairTieBracelets certainly has a ton. I like that this three pack comes with gold, silver, and rose gold; for work I'd probably stick with clear, black, or hair-colored elastics and leave the pink/blue/orange for the gym. The set of three is $32.50. Hair Tie Bracelet Combo Set (L-all)

Sales of note for 9.16.24

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: cURL error 60: Issuer certificate is invalid.

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Ellen

    These actueally are nicer then the SCHRUNCHIES I bought in Pitsburg a few year’s ago. Of course, they are MORE expensive, but guess what, Dad says I can UPGRADE to these! YAY Dad! He knows I will be better abel to snag a guy if I have quality schrunchies! YAY! DAD!!!!

  2. Excel Geek

    Am I crazy to be thinking of reallocating my 401K to safer investments short-term ahead of the election? I’m mostly in indexed funds now.

    • Anonymous

      Yes. Unless you are over 60 and need your money within 5 years, this is cray.

        • Anonymous

          Well at that point you’re way too late to benefit from investing anyway, regardless of political climate. Investments aren’t for short term savings like that.

        • Snick

          You will be paying for your high school junior’s college education through (probably) 2022 or 23. It’s not too late to benefit from investing, although you probably should be shifting some of it to lower-risk funds. My plan offers an age-based option that does this automatically as my child gets closer to college.

    • Amanda

      I was thinking the same thing… I was also planning on setting up a 529, but am considering holding off…

    • Anonymous

      No. It will be ok. There will be volatility for a week or so, but will settle down.

        • Anonymous

          Does that mean you both think Trump is going to win? I don’t think the market is going to crash if HRC wins. It’ll probably go up.

          • No

            No, I think he will lose. And I think the market will dip the week before the election, and jump after HRC wins!

            This is not reflection of my overall investment strategy. Just a bit of fun money.

          • Excel Geek

            I seriously hope not and my kids are planning our move overseas if he does ;) Just worried on all fronts, I guess.

  3. Wish I was Benson

    Discovered Thursday night that a homeless man has been sleeping in the stairwell of our apartment building for the last few MONTHS. Discovered it because I wound up in an elevator with him. So many issues here. First, I’ve now been having a lot of anxiety about elevators, and really any strange men in close proximity to me (even walking down the street). Second, I don’t feel safe in my apartment anymore and I’m not entirely sure what to do about it. The police have not been that helpful (they didn’t come at all when we called about him Thursday night, but when we found him Friday and Saturday nights back there, they did come but only asked him to leave – didn’t arrest him for trespassing, etc.). Third, a little guilt to kick him out/assume he is dangerous simply because he is homeless (but what if I don’t assume that and he does hurt me/DH/my neighbors?). Fourth, frustration my HOA isn’t acting fast enough on this situation and frustration that apparently he’s been spotted before and no one has done anything (I rent from an owner in a condo). Just so many things. I feel violated. Looking for any advice and/or just good thoughts.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      While I’m glad you’re recognizing that the assumption you’re making that he’s dangerous is not entirely okay, the fact of the matter is, you’re recognizing that and then letting it continue. Most people experiencing homelessness are not dangerous. They, just like you or me, just want a warm place to sleep, food, and basic human decency from others. Is he causing harm to the building? Did he do anything except for exist in the same space as you on Thursday night? If not, /please/ try other things than calling the police- call your local shelter and ask what they recommend. The further criminalization of homelessness is really not something to encourage.

      • Anon

        By that argument should everyone just let strange men inside their homes? The OP doesn’t know this man and neither do you. He could be dangerous and she should be aware of the possibility he is dangerous. At least she is aware of the implicit bias.

        • nutella

          Yeah, I think the difference is that he isn’t sleeping in an outdoor doorway or nook. He is sleeping in a stairwell *inside* the building and riding in the elevator inside. This is trespassing. (And begs the question – where is he riding the elevator to/from?) Tell the owner you rent from about it and encourage him/her to make a bigger stink with HOA if they are acting slow and call the police again the next time you notice it- and call it trespassing. It wouldn’t be fair to assume someone sleeping outside who is creating an eyesore has criminal intent but trespassing is a crime and is in fact what he is committing.

          • Anon

            Good point – why is this man in the elevator? This situation is sketchy af.

        • Sloan Sabbith

          He could be- but he may also not be. The assumption here, though, is that he is, not that it’s something to be aware of. Furthermore, I’m not saying everyone should “let strange men inside their homes.” I don’t know how you got that from what I said.
          I’m saying that there are better resources available than the police- where I live, interactions between police and people experiencing homelessness are not always positive. I’m saying to try other resources, not invite him in and set up your guest bedroom, for god’s sake.
          This whole thread is gross. People who are too poor to afford homes aren’t “eyesores,” they’re humans.

          • nutella

            That was the exact point I was making. If she were complaining that someone is sleeping in front of her building and is an eyesore, that would be ‘gross’ and snobby and rude. She wasn’t and he isn’t. He is sleeping inside the building; this is trespassing. This wasn’t a one-time mistake, this is ongoing. There is no reason for him to be riding the elevator and no reason for him to be sleeping inside the building on an ongoing basis. Homelessness is an issue in my community; police are allies and will turn a blind eye to the crimes in order to help. They are also the transportation of them to a shelter where they can sleep indoors and eat. (Around here, churches don’t do pickups.)

    • Anonymous

      So he’s been there for months, hasn’t caused any issues, and you haven’t even noticed him.

      • Anon

        I’m kind of amazed that so many people seem to think this is ok and the problem is OP being concerned about this/calling the police. In my mind, any strange person – homeless or not – being in my apartment building not visiting someone specific is a reason to alert the authorities. It’s trespassing yo.

        • Anonymous

          I don’t think it’s ok! I just think she also doesn’t have any reason to feel unsafe in her apt or elevator.

          • Brunette Elle Woods

            Strange man in my apartment is reason enough to feel unsafe. This means that anyone can get into your apartment building without a key. Whether he is dangerous or not is really not the issue. The issue is access to your apartment building, to your home.

          • nutella

            ^ Exactly to B. Elle Woods. The problem is that people are coming in and out of her building on an ongoing basis not a discrimination on the status or class of a possibly homeless person. (Who knows who else is coming in and out.) That is enough to warrant being fearful and enough to warrant calling the police and making it the HOA’s responsibility to address it.

        • anon

          Yeah, this is the group that is always talking about that book about fear. I can’t remember the name of it, but basically, trust your instincts.

      • Anon.

        A better question might be, if he has been there for months, how does he access the building? Is there a door unlocked that he can come and go? So even if he is not a danger, maybe his point of access could pose a threat the the occupants of the building. Wasn’t there a post a while back here about someone who had a cleaning crew prop a door open which allowed burglars to enter her apartment?

    • Anonymous

      Check your lease with your landlord. You should make her aware of this.

      Also, check with your local homeless shelter and see what they recommend.

      Police are the social workers of last resort. I’d call clergy first, esp. any church with a homeless ministry.

      I don’t know anything about this person, but the mentally-ill overtly dangerous people are usually not going undetected for this long.

    • Emmer

      I totally get feeling unsafe after this. Not because the homeless person showed signs of being dangerous (doesn’t seem like it), but because if security was lax enough to let this go on for months, any type of criminal could likely get into the building.

    • Anon

      Ignore all the other posters. This situation is not okay and your HOA needs to handle it promptly. It doesn’t matter if the homeless person hasn’t done anything; a strange man has accessed private property and you cannot assume the best intentions. I would follow up as hard as you can to get this situation under control.

    • sfbae

      I also don’t think this is okay but think you’re overreacting for feeling unsafe. He’s been there for months – nothing has happened. This doesn’t mean it needs to continue but it also doesn’t mean that you should start freaking out about feeling unsafe.

    • Anonymous

      Oh my goodness. I am shocked at the responses here. This is dangerous, and you have every right to feel violated by this, and your landlord should be pushing the Home Owners Association to respond immediately. It sounds like there might be a shared lobby in your building (or at least a shared elevator), which is supposed to be locked and only accessible by other owners. Period. It is your landlord’s responsibility to ensure that happens (and she will likely have to work through the Association to have this addressed). Do not worry about being perceived as “anti-homeless people.” Push your landlord, through email, that this is happening and that you expect a response. This is a safety issue (as others have noted, because a lock must be broken, or the door is being propped open, or unauthorized access is being granted in some way). As a responsible renter, you must report and follow through on this aggressively until it is addressed. If someone can get in to take a nap in the elevator, someone is that much closer to breaking in to the individual units. Please don’t assume that someone else is addressing this and let it go.

      • Anon

        We have a group of homeless people that have set up living quarters within our gated community, leave trash everywhere, and wash their clothes in our community pool. They have bent the gates to slip through without a key, and our HOA has not been able to do anything about it. I can relate to your concern.

    • Nati

      I can relate to the complex feelings you’re having about this.

      I recently moved to a new city, but prior to that lived in Toronto. Last year at this time, I moved into my dream apartment on top of a Benjamin Moore store in one of the city’s nicest neighbourhoods. Except that every night, I was woken up by sounds in the private alleyway between by building and the one next to it (where the shopkeepers would access their stores from private entrances). All of my bedroom’s three windows faced onto this alleyway.

      After a week, it became clear that it was two (and sometimes more) homeless people who were living there. They’d smoke crack/inject drugs, urinate, have sex, talk, sleep, repeat between the hours of 2-6 every morning, then leave before the shopkeepers arrived. Even with my windows closed this commotion kept me up every single night. I understood why they wanted to spend their nights in this alleyway- there were heat exhaust vents there, it was very secluded (safe/private), etc. But I was just so disturbed and nobody was willing or able to help. The police came on a few occasions and warned them about trespassing, but they always returned. My landlord and the shop owners were never around at night and weren’t affected. It was sort of a nightmare with no end in sight. I moved to Ottawa in June and miss the apartment but wake up every morning so thankful for my peaceful sleep.

  4. pencil skirt

    I’m thinking of wearing a black pencil skirt and fancy top to a wedding coming up. Any examples of how to not look office-y? Is it silly to think I can pull this off?

    No real time to shop and am not fitting well into the dresses I already own (still not back to pre-pregnancy shape, but looking relatively normal for me).

    Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      It will look a bit dowager, but maybe a lace top and sparkly shoes? I had a talbots lace top (not sheer) that I wore with a trumpet skirt while 5 weeks post partum to a wedding.

    • Davis

      I think fancy or non-office shoes would help make this more wedding-friendly. Do you have other accessories that would be fun and celebratory?

    • Fishie

      There is a sparkly wrap top on the Nordstrom sale that I have. It’s very Studio 54. Needs a cami or a tack to prevent total exposure, but would look great with a sleek pencil skirt and pretty shoes. I’ll see if I can find a link.

      • CMT

        Or, don’t spend money on a dress you’ll wear for 6 hours and use what you have already.

        • Anonymous

          I just think the pencil skirt/blouse thing is really challenging to make actually look good for a wedding, and I think it’s a shame to punish yourself for not being back to pre baby size by refusing to buy something that fits now.

      • anon

        Sigh. You’re a guest and not in family pictures? No one will care what you look like as long as it’s not grossly inappropriate. Your pencil skirt and nice top will be fine. And actually, if it’s a little more snug than normal, all the better. I’ve worn a tight pencil skirt with low cut top (you nursing? awesome.) and sky high heels to a club before. It’s a very va va voom look.

        • Nancy Raygun

          We all want to look nice and appropriate, but there’s no need to stress. Your outfit sounds fine–especially if you don’t want to buy something new. When I got married, I didn’t give a rat’s ass what people were wearing. When I got the photos, I realized 5 different women wore whitish dresses. I’m sure you’ll look good.

        • No

          +1

          No one will remember or care what you are wearing.

          I would never buy a new dress for a wedding.

    • CHL

      Totally agree! Don’t buy something new! Black always works at (non-summer, not outside weddings) and if people are really commenting on how a new mom doesn’t look “festive” or whatever, they’re focusing on the wrong things anyway! Go and enjoy yourself! I got a sequined top from boden off of thredup for an event like this and wore it with a black pencil skirt and got a lot of compliments.

  5. grade school parties

    We go to a public grade school where the parent directory hasn’t come out yet. And it’s birthday time. I am not sure who all of the 25 kids in my daughter’s class are. I’m pretty sure, based on last year, that not all kids do all-classmate parties. In daycare, we invited all kids. Last year we didn’t (but the space could only accommodate 1/2 of the class, so we tried to do kids I knew (regardless of class) that she was actually friends with. There is a large parent e-mail (but to lefty57 at g-mail dot com, or something where you have no idea who it’s to). We could invite all kids this year. The # of e-mails on the parent e-mail list is far fewer than the # of kids (and some parents that I know have each parent on there). We have a bigger party place this year and could handle all kids, but in a zoo-like place where they may come inside and yet not quite connect up with us (think large indoor water park place). All options seem frustrating and imperfect. Just invite known kids again (and send invitations to the parents by e-mail so no one gets upset at not getting an invitation at school)?

    I am a quant — I think think of a million ways to optimize this, but they require routing through a busy teacher and/or a first-grader.

    • Anonymous

      Just invite known parents with invites to their homes. Ask the school if you can have a parent directory.

      • grade school parties

        The teacher and the room parent just have the sign-in sheet from back to school “night” (4-6 in the afternoon). There is a directory, but a volunteer has to make it and it is on-schedule for sometime before Christmas. No resources :(

    • WestCoast Lawyer

      Have you asked your daughter who she wants to invite? Once my kids are old enough to have strong feelings about who their friends are, I let them take the lead on who they want to have at their parties. Chances are it will be kids you already know or can get their parent’s info from last year’s directory. If there’s a new kid I’d either send a note with your daughter, to pass onto the new kid’s parents (if she can be trusted to do it discretely) or email the teacher asking if she wouldn’t mind passing along your contact info since the directory isn’t available yet.

    • ace

      We had a similar issue for my kindergartner, and school does not distribute invitations (ever) or provide a PTA directory until late fall — the birthday party was last week.
      We ended up inviting a couple of the known kids who I happened to have some connection with before class started. One kid who is my kid’s “best friend” was completely unknown to us, so I sent a note with my kid to give to their kid asking them to email me (and amazingly, it worked!)
      We’d planned to do an all-class party b/c I thought my kid would really like it, but found it just wasn’t in the cards for this year. Maybe next year!

    • Anonymous

      Ask teacher how they handle birthday invitations. My kids’ schools have handled it different ways, but most will discretely put in the home/school folder. Another option was giving stamped envelopes to the office, and they would address and mail. So just ask – there are lots of birthday parties and they shouldn’t be surprised by the question.

      Sounds like your child is ~6, which is when I definitely let them take the lead on who to invite. If it will be nearly everyone in the class, then invite everyone. If it’s a closer, smaller group, then that’s fine.

    • Bonnie

      We only invited 2 kids from LO’s class and did it by putting invites in their cubbies.

  6. House cleaning service cost

    Sorry for repeating this here again..I asked this in morning thread..but it didn’t post for a long time…

    How much does house cleaning service cost in a city with medium cost of living? I just got a quote and I think they are quite high. We have a 1000 sqft apartment with 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, living room, dining area, kitchen and a small hallway. The service provider said it will take four hours to clean and it will be $184 per service if we get a bi-weekly service (so $368 per month) and $280 for once a month service.

    Is this reasonable?

    • Anonny

      Very reasonable and appropriate. Please remember that you are paying some a living wage.

    • Anonymous

      We are in a low-cost area, with 3000 square feet, and we pay Merry Maids (two people) $150 every two weeks. They are at our house for about two hours.

      • Anon

        Similar. LCOL, 2500 sq ft and pay $120 every two weeks for a private cleaning service.

      • Anon

        Ugh posted accidentally. We pay $150 for a monthly cleaning and have a 3Br/3Ba townhouse, ~1800 sq.

    • Anonymous

      Seems high. I paid $80 per session for cleaning a 2/2 1100 Sq ft in a MCOL.

    • Anon

      Sounds slightly high – we pay $130 per visit for biweekly cleaning in med-high COL area. Two person crew, takes them about an hour to clean 1500 sf. Kitchen, living, 3 bed, 2 bath. I did get the impression that our original estimate was somewhat based on stuff like how many knick-knacks we have (almost none) and how dirty things typically are (not very, just two of us).

    • Anonymous

      $184 for biweekly seems a tad high but definitely within the normal range. But $280 for once a month is insane. A once a month service shouldn’t cost more than half again as much as a biweekly service — maybe 20-30% more but not 50%. If you want a monthly service, I would definitely get more quotes.

      As a data point, I live in a very low cost of living area and I pay $28/hour for a biweekly cleaning service. They send one person and it normally takes her about 5 hours to clean our 2300 sq foot home (4 bed + den/2 bath).

    • NY CPA

      NYC suburbs and we pay $120/wk for a 2 bed/1 bath apartment. I expect it would be a little more if we only did every other week and probably significantly more if we had another bathroom since kitchen + bath(s) are what they spend most of their time on.

    • Anon

      $105 for about 1500 sq feet every 3 weeks, 2 people for 2 hours. Twin Cities. We have 2 cats and a toddler.

    • anon

      Sounds high. I’m VHCOL, 2 bed/2bath, 1100 sqft condo. I pay $90 per cleaning, every two weeks. My housekeeper is an independent contractor. Her and her husband spend about 2 hours cleaning my place.

      It’s me and my cat and I keep things pretty picked up. I provide cleaning supplies and vaccuums. She brings and washes her own cleaning rags.

      RE: living wage concerns. Here’s what I know: her cleaning gig pays better than her husband’s previous job (hence why he joined her cleaning company a few years ago). After he joined, they took on additional clients. Her family has some health issues requiring hospital stays (paid for by their health insurance) and they take 6-8 weeks every year to spend time in the country where they immigrated from. The cleaning service provides them with the flexibility to do all this. She raises her rates every year. I think they are doing well enough.

      • No

        Well enough!? Are you kidding me?

        Gimme a break.

        No benefits, hard physical work, no job security, no insurance, have to pay SS/Medicare taxes 100% themselves, ?driving from home to home with no pay for travel time, no maternity leave/sick leave/disability insurance. Plus they have health issues, and you do know how much we pay for deductibles/meds even if you have health insurance ourselves, right?

        And if this is what you are paying the agency, you do realize the worker is lucky if they see half that…

        • House cleaning service cost

          For context…my husband is an engineer who worked as consultant before. When he used to get 70$ per hour contract, it was a good rate in our area. He had no benefits either. It just baffles me that some one can charge $70 per hour for house cleaning services.
          Anyways..if this is a reasonable quote, then we will not be able to hire cleaning service. We will just have to continue cleaning ourselves..

          • Anonymous

            The poster above said she is paying $22 per hour, per person, and the worker is likely paid half that since that is the rate the agency makes. If someone quoted $70 per hour it is likely for 2-3 people. They will also charge more for the first cleaning visit.

            So your husband gets $70 per hour, and the house cleaner will be lucky if they get $15…… with no raises, job security, or chance of getting a job with benefits and room for growth. And running to a new house every 2 hours, which I suspect your husband doesn’t have to do.

            Do you have any idea how hard it is to make a living like that?

            If you don’t like the price, ask friends for recs for other companies.

          • House cleaning service cost

            They said they will send four people and it will take one hour to clean our apartment. So it is four man hours. So if I opted for a monthly service, it would have been $70 per hour per person. They didn’t mention anything about first service costing higher.

            Yes..my husband didn’t have to run to a new house every two hours. However, he would get paid for exactly what he worked (no pay even on usual holidays like Christmas or 4th of July), no paid vacation, no health insurance and once you accept the contract, generally no pay increases till the end of contract and near zero job security.

            I do have an idea how difficult life can be. However, I still think $70 per hour is very high given the general cost of living in our area.

            Of course, I will ask friends for recs and I will shop around. Part of the reason I posted here is to get an idea of how much it costs.

        • anon at 3:58

          Uh, so yeah…reading comprehension fail. She is an independent contractor–it’s her own business. Nothing goes to an agency.

          They take 6-8 weeks off every year during which they don’t work. That isn’t paycheck-to-paycheck poverty living.

          Their health insurance is part of a disability settlement.

          They choose their clients and their clients are all in their neighborhood. I moved so I am likely the furthest out at 6 miles away from the neighborhood (I gave her the choice to clean my new place or severance until she found a new client–not difficult for her, I was lucky to get a spot when her last client died).

          Geesh. Judgmental, much?

    • Anonymous

      Is it a service or an individual? Services cost more, since they take a cut, but they also eliminate a lot of insurance/tax issues and will more often bring their own supplies. The extra money is worth the peace of mind for me. Your numbers sound about right for a service, but high for an individual.

    • House cleaning service cost

      The quote was from a service, not an individual. Me and my husband live in the apartment and we don’t have kids or pets (this information was asked by them before giving us the quote).

    • OCAssociate

      Sounds high. I’m in fairly HCOL. 2200 sq. ft. no pets. We use a service. Biweekly is $125 per visit, monthly is $150 per visit.

    • Anon

      I’m the exception here. I pay $60 to clean my 3br 2 bath house in HCOL area.
      – Team of 2 or 3 does it in about an hour
      – Tasks are fairly limited -mainly bathroom and kitchen surfaces/floors plus minimal dusting and floor cleaning
      – They break things on occasion, and mess up things all the time (put away or throw away stuff we can never find again etc.)
      – I’ve known her many years and am aware I pay a discounted rate and I get what I pay for (see point above)

    • Jane

      We live in a larger city with a relatively low cost of living. I think the lady who cleans for us is amazing. We have 1100 square feet. One bedroom, two bathrooms. She cleans everything, including windows inside. She does any laundry we have not done. And she irons. She comes once per month and charges $120. However, we are very very very tidy and do not own a lot of stuff. Sometimes when I leave the house on the days that she comes, I think that it does not even look like we need anyone to come clean the house.

    • Mindy

      seems a little high.

      if you have friends who have recs, that may be better. I tried out Handy, but it seemed to be a lose-lose situation. I currently pay $150 for once every 4 weeks or $100 every 2 weeks for an independent person who my friend recommended. She’s great.

      The people from Handy broke our vacuum and didn’t tell us or put the vacuum away or decided that using the broom to “dust” my tv and dresser top was ok. EEW.

  7. other school q

    We go to a public school in a large southern city. It is about 70% upper middle class (which is largely, but not exclusively, white). The other 30% are from continguous neighorhoods that are primarily poor (e.g.,free/reduced price lunch) and black or hispanic.

    When I was a room parent, we tried to have weekend social activities at neighborhood parks or at the school playground (e.g., free and nearby). We had 50% turnout among the 70%, but almost none among the 30%.

    Is there anything that we should try to do differently this year? We send e-mails AND printed flyers for kids to take home in backpacks for parents that don’t have computers or e-mail at home.

    [We could do things during the week after school, but I work so I’d need to get a volunteer to spearhead that.]

    FWIW, I am a first generation child of poor immigrants (but am white), so just want to make sure all of the friends know they are invited if hear about things on the playground from the other children.

    • Anonymous

      How many events did you have in the neighborhoods the poor kids live in?

    • Anonymous

      Recruit one of the parents from the 30% neighborhood to take the lead on planning and publicizing one or more of the events?

      Have your child talk up the event with the rest of the class at recess so that all of the kids will go home and convince their parents to attend? My kid always wants to go to school events if she knows her friends will be there.

    • anonsg

      Possibly offer carpooling if not already. Some kids might want to go but parents work on weekends and can’t take them

    • SD

      I have three guesses, and it could be any of them or some combination:
      1) Transportation- kids from the lower income neighborhoods don’t have rides on the weekends, and this could be solved by arranging carpools
      2) Feeling unwelcome- you’re from the 70% so it’s presumed that the events aren’t ‘for’ the other children. You need to figure out how to make sure everyone feels equally welcome and wanted
      3) Culture- there may be less of a culture around ‘it’s the weekend, so let’s do more stuff related to school’ or even just structured/planned activities, as opposed to having totally unplanned time. This is just a guess.

      I think the answer for all of the above is communication. Do you have relationships with any of the parents from the 30%? Can you go out of your way to build some? Can you recruit other parents of the 70% to do the same, in a way that is genuine? I bet if you do that, the kids will follow, or at very least you’ll figure out what the problem is. I’m glad you care enough to look for answers here.

    • anon lawyer

      +1 to suggestions of recruiting a parent outside of the 70%. I grew up poor, first generation immigrant, non-white. My parents would not have felt comfortable or felt like this was an event for us.

      Also is food provided at these events/are they happening during a meal time? We would not have been able to afford unexpected food purchases. If it was a being your own lunch thing, it could be embarrassing to bring food that is looked down on or people are “grossed” out by because it’s “unusual.”

      +1 to transport issues

      Also, time could be a big factor (and probably something you can’t mitigate). When you’re poor you can’t pay for the convenience of things to be fixed or handled; you spend hours and hours combing for the affordable option; you work jobs and odd hours, etc. My parents would not have had the time or energy to go to a non-mandatory event.

      Don’t want to come across too critical. Think you’re doing a great thing!

  8. TorontoNewbie

    This is a repeat (sorry) since it seems to be stuck in moderation, but has anyone used Sumissura for online custom-suits?

    • Marshmallow

      I did and had a HORRIBLE experience. The sizing was completely not what I measured and the skirt was visibly asymmetrical. Then they jerked me along through their return/exchange/tailor guarantee. I wound up having to file a fraud charge with my credit card to get my money back.

  9. Amanda

    Re-posting from this morning:

    I have been using the Paula’s Choice weekly resurfacing treatment. I think it’s making my skin break out at my hairline and it leaves my skin around my nose raw and bright red. Any suggestions for anything more gentle?

  10. Baconpancakes

    If anyone’s interested, I have short-lived discount codes for Land’s End and Betabrand, as I just ordered things from there. Email me at baconre t t e at the google email account .com

  11. TTC conundrum

    I am wondering how others have handled this: We are TTC for the first time. I am unsure how to deal with alcohol in the ~2 week window each month where I might be pregnant (until I find out that I am definitely not). I do a drink or two with friends/colleagues per week typically. While I have no problem not drinking (just to be safe in case), the remarks and questions are annoying. So do I just not drink and tolerate probing questions? Or do I trust that when I am pregnant, I will definitely feel it? Or for those who say it doesn’t matter in the first 2 weeks, is there research backing that up?

    • Anonymous

      My god just f ing drink. All the research says it is fine. You don’t need to give up wine 2 weeks of every month just in case.

      Or don’t. Also fine.

    • Anon

      This is a totally a matter of personal preference. Frankly, I was firmly a “drink till it’s pink” person (meaning I drank normally until I had a positive test).

    • Anon

      My OB-GYN friend told me that it’s fine until you’re able to get a positive test. You don’t share blood with the embryo until it implants, which is when the test can detect the changes, and if you’re not sharing blood, you’re not sharing alcohol.

    • Anonymous

      This is totally up to you. One glass won’t make-or-break you either way, and once you are pregnant you’ll have to deal with the questions/comments anyway, so I wouldn’t worry about that too-too much. I found that after trying to not drink and otherwise watch myself during that 2-week period for a few cycles and not conceiving I was driving myself a little nuts and went back to just doing what I would normally do for the sake of my sanity and emotions. Exception being don’t binge (not good for you anyway). Some people say they felt it right away and knew they were pregnant but…that is not something to bank on.

    • Anonymous

      My OB told me it was ok to drink lightly until you get a positive test. I was more comfortable cutting it out completely when we started trying, but I’m not much of a drinker to begin with (~1 drink or less per month), so it wasn’t a hardship and people didn’t really notice.

    • TTC conundrum

      thanks everyone for the comments. It’s been a weird couple of months…

      • Emmer

        Hugs – I know it’s tough. It took H and I over a year to conceive, so to me, it WAS a big deal to give up drinking for huge chunks of the year. I took it easy during the windows where I wasn’t sure if I was pregnant; i.e., I didn’t get drunk. But otherwise it helped a lot mentally to keep my everyday routine, which included drinking on the weekends. I probably ended up having about 2 drinks on 3 different nights during the two week wait that eventually led to me getting pregnant. I’m still pregnant now and progressing just fine.

        Anecdote, but my friend who had a surprise pregnancy and got blackout drunk in the two week window before she knew she was pregnant now has a healthy, smart 4 year old!

          • TTC conundrum

            Spam filter ate my not-so-nice reply. I find your tone condescending and inappropriate for an advice board.

          • Wildkitten

            Nah, she’s right. You do you, whatever you want to do, all the choices are fine.

    • Anon

      Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t women get pregnant and then it takes a while to show up on the test? Considering all the cell division taking place right away, it seems like a dumb risk to take. I honestly don’t really get why people have such a problem giving up casual drinking (it’s more obvious why it’s a problem when you’re a full-blown alcoholic). Sounds like you’re prepared to go either way, so why not be on the safe side?

      • Anon

        This is Anon at 3:12. As I said in my comment, the alcohol does not reach the embryo during this time so there is no risk. Given that many women (including me) find giving up drinking socially to be very annoying, and given that many women who feel this way (including me) are not alcoholics, even if it doesn’t matter to you it’s something that other people would prefer not to have to give up.

        • Anon

          If giving up drinking is something that’s very annoying or hard for you, that might be something to look into. Honestly, 2 weeks is a very short period of time to not drink.

          • Anonymous

            It’s 2 weeks, monthly, for however long it takes to conceive. I’m not skipping drinking for 6 months for no actual reason. That doesn’t mean I have a drinking problem, it means you have an anxiety problem.

      • TTC conundrum

        To be honest, privately monitoring my body and wondering whether it’s happened, gonna happen soon, ever gonna happen, that’s my own problem and, i guess par for the course.
        Being asked similar stuff by people around me because I don’t drink anymore (the nonchalant presence of alcohol in everyday life is of course a topic for a different day) simply doubles the stress. If there is actual research showing that it’s no big deal in the first weeks, that would be a way for simplifying a process that’s stressful enough.

        • Anonymous

          Read Expecting Better – it has an informative section on the impact of alcohol on a pregnancy.

        • Anonymous

          There’s so much research I don’t know where to being. Literally all the research!

        • rosie

          There is so much research out there. My concern with alcohol was not FAS from a drink or two in those first weeks, but rather an increase in miscarriage risk (and later, an issue with alcohol affecting egg quality, which rules out booze for not just the two week wait). You can find things on the internet of varying reliability that support both of these issues. My advice would be to find a medical professional you trust with some specialty in fertility and conception–whether that’s an OB, a NP, a midwife, a fertility acupuncturist, etc.–and have this discussion with them. Then be confident about what you decide, but if it doesn’t feel right to drink, don’t (either in general or in a particular instance) and owe an explanation to no one. GL.

    • ChiLaw

      I didn’t expect to get pregnant as quickly as I did, and had a night out with a few cocktails with my MIL about a week before I tested positive. Baby is fine (she’s actually an exquisitely beautiful genius, and I’m completely unbiased). While we were trying (or, really “not trying to not get pregnant”) I didn’t avoid drinking, but I did try not to get *drunk.* And then once I was pregnant, not a sip, because I didn’t need anything else to worry about.

  12. anon

    I need gift ideas for an 11 year old girl. She lives out of state, and I only see her about 3-4 times per year. She does karate and rock climbing, and is in Girl Scouts. I want to avoid something plastic that she’ll be so over in a month.

    • Mom of 10-year-old

      Barnes and Noble gift card, or an Amazon gift card if she has a Kindle.
      A Kindle e-reader (not Kindle Fire) if she doesn’t already have one and her parents approve.
      A hardcover copy of a book you loved when you were 11 with a personal note inscribed on the endpaper.
      A jacket from ivivva (Lululemon’s kids’ line), if you don’t have objections to Lululemon. These are ridiculously overpriced but beloved by the sporty girls.
      Ivivva “Village Chill” scarf (kiddie version of the Lululemon Vinyasa scarf with the snaps that can be worn something like 12 different ways).
      T-shirt with a girl power message.

      • Mom of 10-year-old

        Forgot to mention craft kits. Nice ones, not the super-cheapy kind.

      • SuziStockbroker

        My now-14 year old would have loved most of those gifts at 11 too, good suggestions.

        The other thing would be experience gifts. You could arrange for the two of you to do something together (maybe including her mom) for neXT time you do see each other. My little martial artist and I got pedicures together when she was 11 for a wedding, and she loved having pretty toes at the dojo for the next month. Dinner and a movie etc. At this age they still like hanging out with grown ups :)

  13. home security system

    If you have any of those security systems that runs on your wifi, what happens when the wifi goes out. Ours can be spotty at times and requires a reboot a few times a month. Any plans that people love?

    • Anonymous

      I use Simplisafe. If the Wifi is out there is a back-up… I forget but it must be via electrical/phone line. No problems once I completed the setup. I bought a refurbished kit to save $$, so my set-up was trickier than most.

    • Anon

      We use Frontpoint. I believe the system has it’s own built-in cellular signal, so it will still work even if your wifi doesn’t.

  14. Seasonal Wardrobes

    So, a drawback of having a seasonal wardrobe: unpacking items to find out that Nothing Fits

    Off to the YMCA, yo.

  15. NYC question

    Are you ladies wearing tights yet? Bare legs?

    Have to fly in (from where it’s still summer, weather-wise) for a meeting next week.

    THX!

    • Anonymous

      I’m cold in bare legs. You prob will be more comfortable in tights and you won’t look out of place.

      • Anonymous

        You’ve got this down. Trench, scarf just in case is perfect. Wool is too hot and heavy for now.

        • Anonymous

          +1

          I actually isn’t start wearing tights until I pull out wool coats. This is my favorite time of year and temps are mostly high 50’s to high 60’s. So trench now, pull out wool for the 40’s.

    • NY CPA

      No tights yet but I was totally ok this morning. 10 degrees cooler, maybe not.
      Wore a merino sweater + Barbour coat this morning which was perfect, but didnt need the coat at lunch.

    • Sydney Bristow

      People have definitely started wearing tights and coats. Yesterday I saw actual winter coats too. I’m trying to hold out as long as possible. There’s a split though so I think you’ll be ok either way.

    • Anonymous

      I do not have a Lodis bag but have carried a Lodis wallet for years. Nice quality and durability for the price.

    • Seattle Freeze

      I have Lodis wallets that still look new after 5+ years of heavy use. If my MZ Wallace bags weren’t also indestructible, I’d buy a Lodis bag in a hot minute. Highly recommend!

    • big orange drink

      I have a Lodis card case and a wallet – love them both. Classic styles, quality leather, low key logos.

    • Anonymous

      I had a Lodis bag that I used for court and loved the organization. It lasted a while but the handles ripped. I decided not to buy another Lodis because I don’t think it’s worth the price.

  17. make-ahead salads?

    We are constantly, it seems, having potluck lunches at my (relatively) new office, including one coming later this week. I’d love to have 1-2 regular dishes that I can get good at, preferably salad-type things. I’m not thinking greens or chopped, but like some sort of presentation of grilled veggies. Or roasted cauli, but done nicely. I’m not good at this! Anyone have any go-to make-ahead dishes they can recommend?

  18. Pesh

    I bought a new mattress and it’s being delivered tonight…do I tip the delivery guys? How much?

    • Anonymous

      I did $10. I’m on the second floor with an elevator and they didn’t remove an old mattress.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Good question. I’m never sure what to do in that situation. We had a piece of Ikea furniture delivered several months ago and didn’t tip the delivery guys. There wasn’t really a moment to do it. They were just really efficient and didn’t seem to even pause to indicate that they might expect a tip. We’re having a Crate & Barrel furniture piece delivered this weekend and I was wondering the same thing.

  19. Drinking More Water?

    Anyone have tips and tricks for getting more water drinking in during the day? I am not a big fan of drinking water but know I need to drink more! How do you make sure you are hydrated?

    • Anonymous

      I don’t like very cold items, but I’ve been adding in ice and then letting the whole thing warm up. Now my diet sodas are a bit less soda and a bit more water.

    • Anonymous

      I carry a 32 oz bottle with me. I usually fill it up with lukewarm water whenever possible, and I probably end up refilling it about 4 times on an average day. For me, container size makes a huge difference. If I have to go refill my glass frequently, I’m not going to do it that often.

      • BeenThatGuy

        +1

        I keep a water schedule. 32 oz before work, 32oz between start of work and lunch, 32 oz between lunch and dinner. I don’t track after work but drink it as needed/wanted (especially during workouts).

      • Newbie Associate

        I have a ridiculously large (gym rat-style) bottle that I keep in my office. I fill it up once in the morning and leave it in my office. If I forget it at home for some reason, I only end up drinking the tiny cup size from the kitchen.

      • Anonymous

        +1 I like having a hot drink, so nearly all my hydration comes from herbal teas.

        I’ll even drink hot water, so try a different temperature (ie, iced or heated).

    • Emmer

      What about water don’t you like? If you don’t like the taste, you can still get hydrated from other (preferably non-caffeinated) beverages. There’s liquid drops or powders you can add to flavor your water, or drink non-caffeinated iced or hot tea.

    • Anonymous

      I bought a 32 oz stainless steel insulated bottle so if I feel it up with a lot of ice in the morning I have ice water to drink throughout the day without having to refill it.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      Sparkling water. I like the Trader Joe’s brand. It’s super cheap and less….can bubbles be aggressive? than other brands.

      • Not That Anne, The Other Anne

        Seconded. I like the bubbles and I’m much more prone to drinking water if there are bubbles in it. I usually have several different flavors in the fridge and take them to meetings I know will be particularly boring. Everything’s better with fizzy water.

    • Teeks

      1L bottle, once in the morning and once in the afternoon plus a sparkling water for lunch and maybe 16 oz or so in an afternoon protein shake. I recommend getting a bkr or Hydroflask bottle so you’ll look cool doing it ;)

    • CMT

      I have a Retap water bottle, and despite their pretentious branding about “disrupting” tap water, I really love it. I don’t know why, but I drink more water out of it. I also drink more water out of cups with straws.

  20. Anonymous

    Has anyone been to the Galapagos Island and care to tell me more about your trip? What islands you visited, what company you used for a tour or cruise, etc.?

  21. Newbie Associate

    Headed to Chicago in November for a conference. I’ve never needed warm business clothes. What do I wear?

    • Anonymous

      Layers. Cashmere or merino wool sweaters. Pants. Full cover shoes with socks (more booties than pumps). Scarf (wool or cashmere).

    • Anonymous

      Your normal business clothes with a coat, scarf, gloves, and a hat if it’s really cold.

    • ChiLaw

      I don’t think you really need “warm business clothes” because presumably all the business will happen inside. If your shoes are good (can’t go wrong with black boots) and you have a big warm coat that’s presentable (doesn’t have to be fashionable or pretty — it’s freaking cold, and a poofy hooded coat that goes to your knees is perfectly appropriate), you can wear your regular clothes underneath. You lose the coat when you get inside and do your business in your regular business clothes, then bundle back up to go back to the hotel. You can consider a warm scarf and/or a hat and/or gloves, if the weather is going to be really cold.

      I never wore pants in the snow because #TeamNoPants4Lyfe but also because the hems might get sloshy and wet, so I just wore warm socks and tights under my boots, and then skirts and a knee-length coat and whatever on top. I preferred a big hood on my jacket to a scarf or a hat and would rather keep my hands in my pockets than deal with (read: lose) gloves (on all but the coldest days).

      When I wear “warm” business clothes I alway find myself uncomfortably hot when I’m actually working, and on the train, and basically all the time except the 3 minutes I’m walking outside. I’d rather be a little uncomfortable for those 3 minutes and comfortable all day.

      TL;DR wear your regular clothes with sensible shoes and warm outerwear.

    • Newbie Associate

      Thank you for these replies! I should clarify, I am staying on site (same hotel) and it’s a pretty packed schedule, so I’m not sure that I will be outside a ton in “business clothes.” However, your comment made me think about things like just regular clothes (I live in a warm area). Should I get a puffer?

      The question really should be: Any advice on what to pack to a conference in Chicago if you’re someone who has never been to that part of the United States and lives in a warm area?

      • Chi

        Just bring normal (for you) conference clothes. November Isn’t very cold in Chicago and no snow. Just have a warm wool coat, a scarf, maybe leather gloves. If you want, boots and tights, but why bother if you are inside all day? We have heat here!

        Do not buy a puffer coat. If you don’t have a simple wool coat, wear layers. Bring a warm cashmere cardigan type sweater to wear under your coat of choice.

        Scarves keep you warm.

    • Anonymous

      ABA L&E conference? Note that you’ll be inside the hotel for the entire conference, so your normal work clothes will probably work just fine. Are you staying at the hotel where the conference is? You’ll only need warmer clothes to go out for dinner. I will probably wear my usual of pants and flats with a sweater. Maybe layer a silk button up under the sweater. And I’ll bring a trench coat and maybe a scarf to go out to dinner.

  22. APC

    Don’t know if anyone watches the third hour of the Today show, but ever since Billy got promoted to full time there, Al really just seems to hate him. I like to imagine that Al was happy dancing allll weekend long.

    • Anon

      After the first debate, watching Tamryn Hall deal with Billy’s “insightful” “political” “analysis” was very painful.

  23. floors

    How much would you estimate it costs to stain (which I guess means sanding before) wood floors of approximately 3k sq ft? Floors are solid oak and in great condition, but a little too honey-toned for our tastes. We would be staining a couple shades darker (not lighter).

    • Anon

      I recently received an estimate to refinish mine (which presumably involves the steps you are talking about) of about $7500-8000, depending on how I wanted to store my furniture (extra would be renting a POD, versus moving to other floors/the garage). Slightly less square footage than you describe.

  24. Anon

    Thanks for the gift ideas above for the 11yo girl! I have a similar question – gift ideas for a 15 year old (soon to be 16) girl? She’s a swimmer, loves animals, but is otherwise not particularly sporty. I see her 1-2x a year. In past years I’ve gotten her some baking items (she was into baking at 11-12yo), books (was into Percy Jackson, I’m sure that’s long past), Amazon gift cards, and trinkets/small purses (Claire’s type of stuff).
    My kid is a toddler so I have no clue what girls that age are into these days. Thanks!

    • Bristow

      If she’s a swimmer (as in does competition swimming daily with a team) and 15 going on 16 years old, she’s at age where she’s interested in her appearance and the chlorine really damages her hair. At that age as a member of a swim team, I would have loved an older female to get me an adult women’s hair texture appropriate hair care kit (think like going to Nordstroms and putting together a customized gift basket with shampoo / weekly conditioner treatment / hair towel / nice hair brush). Girls at that age want to be treated like adult women by older women they look up. This is also the age where if the parents okay it, she would probably be really into you just taking her out for a girls spa day.

    • CountC

      Keeping in mind I swam YEARS ago, getting cool or funny caps for practice was always fun. You always seemed to need an extra, with them ripping or losing them or whatever, so having a few funny spares was nice.

      Other than that, I have zippy idea what teenage girls are into! Sorry!

      • CMT

        Or a new suit. The polyester suits these days come in way better colors and patterns than they used to. Swim Outlet is where I buy all my swim gear.

  25. SuziStockbroker

    My almost 15 year old loves Apple gift cards, book store gift cards, Sephora gift cards (skin care and eyebrow shaping junkie). Starbucks gift cards. Pedicure with you. Other “experience” gifts. Mine would love ballet tickets, for example.

  26. Thomas Pink

    Any recent experience with Thomas Pink suiting for women? Also, are their suits appropriate for a Big 4 firm?

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions