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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Henrieta Floral Stretch-Silk Top

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A woman wearing a floral top and blue jeans

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This stretch silk top from Veronica Beard would be a beautifully versatile addition to any wardrobe. It would look equally pretty paired with denim or a pair of trousers. I would wear it with a charcoal suit on a more formal day or tucked into a midi skirt for a more casual look.

The top is $278, marked down from $398, at Saks Fifth Avenue and comes in sizes 00–16. (PSA: If you’re in the mood for some fun window shopping, check out the “Revenge Dressing” section at Saks. It’s totally bonkers and absolutely perfect.)

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

204 Comments

  1. Is there a site like goinhouse for non-profit lawyer jobs? I see them occasionally on LinkedIn, but I’m interested in seeing more of what’s out there as I think about transitioning away from corporate America.

    3. The Legal Services Corp, the federal agency funding civil legal aid, has a map with all the various legal aids nationwide. There isn’t a clearinghouse for open positions, but you can click through to each geographic area of interest and see if that nonprofit is hiring.

      https://www.lsc.gov/grants/our-grantees

  2. My gen-x eye thinks these jeans are left over from someone’s 70s theme party. And that they are just mis-matched with this blouse. Like we are being punked.

    1. Haha, remember fashion plates? This reminds me of when I would pair things that obviously would never work together.

        1. I’ll take them over the jeans that button askew, which I guess are supposed to make your waist look tiny because you “had” to do that, but always just make me feel like someone went to a terrible tailor.

    4. I actually like the jeans a lot (I’m a young millennial) but do not care for the blouse

    5. The jeans are a little costumey to me but I prefer them to the top, which to my elder millennial eye looks like the kind of ‘business casual for teens’ that somehow we were all wearing around 2000.

        1. The sleeve length — what is with that? It would bunch a ton if layered underneath anything.

      2. Ah I had a use case of these blouses in the early 2000s. My office was in San Francisco but I had to go to Sacramento on a somewhat regular basis, which usually involved a meeting somewhere near the Capitol and then we’d walk a few blocks to lunch. Sacramento is easily 100 degrees or more in the middle of the day, so a blouse like this was the kind of thing I wore to have a professional level of arm coverage so I didn’t have to wear a jacket. I had 3-4 of them in rotation at all times and called them my Sacramento tops.

    6. My very trendy coworker wore jeans like this recently and it was really jarring to see. I do not like patch pockets in general, and definitely not in my lower belly.

    7. I’m not even sure that’s a real human wearing the jeans and shirt. It looks like the 2 pieces were photoshopped.

  3. Any recommendations for pro bono work that can be done from home? I am in southeastern VA and have not been able to find any organizations to volunteer for yet. I would be open to doing non-lawyer volunteer work as well, but something that involves thinking/using my skill set would be preferred to physical labor as I have a chronic health issue. I am open to most things except anything involving children.

    1. Contact the local legal aid. I don’t know about VA, but in NC, our legal aid has several programs you could do from home.

    2. +1 my former MA legal aid office had our pro bono volunteers doing 99% of the work from home.

    3. Also, reach out to the Election Protection Hotline. It’s a non-partisan organization that assists voters. Look into it. They require that the hotline be run by lawyers. You do it remotely. I’ve loved volunteering for them in the past and need to get back into it. They’ll be VERY busy next year.

    4. If you’re looking for a particular nonprofit, I’m affiliated with one in the chronic illness space (Well Spouse Association) and we are always looking for volunteers.

    6. If you have the kind of skills that a small business could use (employment, general corporate, real estate, etc), nonprofits would love pro bono help. Do you have a network of colleagues/former colleagues/friends in states where you’re a member of the bar? If so, put out the word that you’re open to pro bono work.

      I was on the board of a medium-size nonprofit and would have loved to bring in high quality pro bono lawyers to help as needed, but hesitated to reach out to former colleagues because I didn’t want to be a bother. From home is totally fine.

  4. Oh wow, definitely click on that revenge dressing link! It’s like if cocaine were a designer.

      1. 20s? I’m expecting to see Kyle Richards wearing every one of those on this season of RHOBH

        1. Kyle can wear whatever she wants. I have not been able to confidently wear something like see-through chiffon pants with a teeny crop top since my 20s. And I did wear stuff that wild to go to raves. But not since then.

  5. I’m not usually a JCF fan, but I picked up a few pieces this weekend from there. A few thoughts:
    – Holy cow the vanity sizing is absolutely insane. I’m a size 6 and bought pants in a size S and they’re honestly too big around the waist (figured it out too late though) and bought one sweater in an XS and one in a S. The XS fits great and the S is too big and I will be returning it.
    – I bought the pintuck sweatpants, and sweatpants is really a misnomer. I was so excited for sweatpants I could wear to the office, but they’re really just cotton pants with no lining. I have a few pairs of ponte pants I wear to work that are more comfortable than these. I kept them because they’re a fine basic office pant, but sweatpants they are not!

    Overall I still find things to be not my style and not my price range, so despite picking up a few basics for work, I will still probably only be an occasional at best shopper there.

    – Overall, I’m still not into most of the styles (either very basic or too preppy) and would only buy things there on sale (I think the full price is overpriced).

    2. By “on sale” for JCF my requirement is that it’s one of those “extra 70% off the (pretend) sale price” because their whole “compare at” thing is garbage. It’s not the same sweater that was listed at JCrew for $80, it’s made-for-JCF cheaper materials that should be $15 at Target in the first place.

      1. Yes the sweater I got that I’m keeping was $15. It’s very soft (which means it will fall apart in no time) in a style I’ve been eyeing for a while so it’s filled a hole in my wardrobe perfectly. Wouldn’t have spent $30 on it and certainly wouldn’t have spent $60 or whatever it says the “price” was on it either.

    3. JCF seems a bit stuck in time right now – it feels just a bit off in a way I can’t put my finger on. I like them for basics, sweater jackets and the occasional random swim coverups, as well as kids stuff. The men’s items are good, too. But I much prefer regular JCrew lately.

      1. I have a JCF near my house and it makes a world of difference to be able to go in and try on pants. I, 30″ waist and 40″ hips and a stomach, am a reliable 8 except in the Kelsey flares (10) and only BR/BRF will fit me reliably enough to order online. I’m in the SEUS, so skewing preppy is fine for a business-casual office. Once I sized up during COVID, it has been my go-to for pants and I’ve found some nice lined dresses that flowed over my new self’s waist/hip trouble zone with some magical shift-sheath hybrid pattern (so yes I own in all colors now).

      2. Concur. They’re normally my go-to for casual clothes, but I haven’t bought anything in quite a while. But their men’s is on point and I’ve bought a fair amount there for the men in my life.

        Also, OP, concur on the pintuck “sweatpants” – honestly, that fabric is so awful it shouldn’t be on the market.

  6. Because I know people like updates:

    I recently posted for advice after my cousin (Cousin #1 – we have mutual grandparents) called me in a fury because my daughter had told her daughter (Cousin #2) that their great-grandmother had left Cousin #1 and me money intended (but not mandated) for our daughters’ education. Many of you offered excellent advice and I had my script down. What I failed to consider is that my daughter is (1) an adult,(2) likely to take the side of her similar-age cousin, and (3) much less conflict-adverse than I am. She was also pretty angry that Cousin #1 was nasty to me. So she texted Cousin #2 and suggested that since her mother seemed to think my daughter had “misunderstood” their great-grandmother’s intentions, Cousin #2 should ask her grandfather (my uncle).

    Thanksgiving was without incident, although Cousin #1 was quite frosty. But my Dad and I had brunch on Sunday and he told me that my uncle is FURIOUS with his daughter and her husband, although predictably putting the blame mostly on the latter. He apparently put the money he inherited from his mother into an account he had not touched and was planning on leaving it to her but now has an appointment next week with an attorney to put it in a trust for Cousin #2’s education with the residue paid to her when she graduates with a bachelor’s degree or turns 30, whichever occurs first. If she goes to an out-of-state or private school, there probably won’t be much left but it is enough for her to go to college wherever she wants. And I have been firmly directed to call and apologize to my uncle for treating him like a toddler whose feelings need to be managed (to quote my father).

    So I have been duly chastened for treating both my uncle and my daughter like children and will go forth and sin no more. (Just kidding – neither is really mad at me but they do think I went overboard in my attempts to spare my uncle’s feelings.)

    1. I am completely missing something here as to why you would be viewed as treating Uncle like toddler??

      2. Right I missed that part too and am hoping for an update from OP. Was she supposed to call her Uncle and narc on her cousin preemptively?

    2. Wow, what an update, thank you! Good for your uncle for putting the funds in a trust with clear directions.
      After living through/hearing about many family feuds due to bequests/inheritances being misused I am a HUGE proponent of trusts to ensure that money is used in exactly the way the person setting aside the money wants it to be used. My other main takeaway is that parents should be having conversations with their teenagers about what they can afford for college VERY early on.

    3. So, do I understand this right: Your grandmother left money to your uncle and one of your parents, with the intent (or not) that this money will be passed on to your uncle’s grandchild via your cousin, and to your child via you. Your cousin’s daughter did not know about this money supposedly dedicated to her education, while your daughter knew about hers and the info got out. Then your cousin got mad and called you, and in an attempt to rectify the situation, you pointed her to her father who sort of hid this money and now set up a trust.

      I don’t understand why you should apologize to anyone? Or is it a big deal that the secret of the education inheritance is now out of the bag?

      Both your daughter and her same-age cousin will have money for education, no?

      1. No. Grandma left money to OP and Cousin with the hope but not directive that the money would be used to educate the children of OP and Cousin. OP used the money for her daughter’s education. Cousin used most of the money for herself and left her daughter without sufficient funds for school. OP’s daughter told Cousin’s daughter about Grandma’s gift and how it was supposed to be used and Cousin is now angry. OP was doing gymnastics to try not to upset Cousin more and to help keep the info from Cousin’s father (Uncle to OP) because Cousin’s father would be upset at Cousin. Cousin’s father has now rectified the situation, directing money that would have gone to Cousin to a trust for Cousin’s daughter’s education.

      2. I am not OP. If I recall correctly, OP and her cousin inherited directly from their grandmother with the instructions that the money be used for college education of their children. OP saved that money and now her daughter doesn’t need financial aid for college. Cousin’s kid has no money for college because her parents spent the money. Cousin wanted OP to lie to the kids about it. OP asked for advice since they were going to see each other at Thanksgiving.

        Now everyone knows and Cousin’s dad, OP’s uncle, is stepping in and providing new funding for college that would otherwise have gone to Cousin in his will, and Cousin is BIG MAD, as well as Uncle.

    4. Sorry to cause confusion! (I can see how anyone who did not see or remember my original post would not understand a word of what I just said.)

      Long story short: My grandmother (who was not wealthy but bought a house in a VHCOL area in the 50s) split her assets between her two living children (my father and uncle) and her two grandchildren (Cousin #1 and me). The gift to Cousin #1 and me was intended per her clear and unambiguous statements to everyone to be used for the education of her two great-grandchildren, namely my daughter and Cousin #2. However, there was nothing legally binding in the will. I used it for its intended purpose and my daughter recently graduated. Cousin #2 is a high school senior. I was not party to the discussion but my daughter apparently told Cousin #2 about the bequest.

      Cousin #1 called me in a fury before Thanksgiving saying we needed to tell Cousin #2 that my daughter had misunderstood or misspoke. In my prior post, I was looking for a script for a response because (and this is why my father and uncle are mildly annoyed with me) I did not want to upset my uncle, who has been in poor health and is likely having his last holiday season.

      My apology (and again they are not really mad at me) is for acting as if having cancer has deprived my uncle of his ability to hear family news and make decisions accordingly. As my father pointed out, my uncle has dealt with many hard facts in his life, including the death of his wife and his own diagnosis, with competence, faith, and a sense of humor. They think I should have brought this issue to my uncle right away rather than trying to keep the peace. And in retrospect, they were completely correct, although in my defense I had no idea that my uncle had not spent any of the money and was keeping it set aside for his daughter. (My own wonderful father hastened to let me know he has done nothing of the sort and is instead traveling the world – to which I said good for you!)

      1. Just chiming in to say your family sounds wonderful and (mostly) functional! I’m envious of that.

        1. My family is indeed (mostly) wonderful and I am very, very lucky. It was a revelation to me when I started college how horrible families could be (and I am frequently aghast at the stories I hear here.)

          I am mostly just happy my grandmother’s wishes are being honored in the end. She was not able to go to college and it was really important to her that her granddaughters and great-granddaughters have the opportunity for an education that she did not have.

    5. I am with your daughter on this one. There are open families and closed secret families and I have zero patience for the secrets. You owe no one any apology as it all worked out!

  7. Thank you to whoever recommended the 100% merino wool J Crew sweater last week. They are PERFECT! It’s the Halle crewneck. I’m between sizes and sized up.

  8. How long does American Airlines hold your seat when you started to book a flight but didn’t finish? I booked a round trip international flight on AA for DH, DS and I this morning. I went back to book a one-way flight for my mom (she will fly back later) and chose the seat next to us. I entered the wrong email and there was no way to change it so I had to close the window and start all over again. But now it says that seat is unavailable. I’m fairly certain the website is just holding the seat for the reservation that I never finished. It’s been about 45 mins. Should I give it an hour? Or should I just book different seats for all of us?

    1. just book the flight with her in any seat in the same class you paid for – you can switch them after booking.

      1. I mean, let’s say it takes a few hours for the system to refresh and release the seat, just book your mom’s flight now with any available seat and fix it later or tomorrow.

  9. if i am hosting a party on saturday, can i bake cookies on Thursday without freezing them and defrosting for the party? when is the earliest i can bake for a saturday afternoon gathering?

    1. It depends on the cookie. Some go stale faster than others and there are a few that start to taste off faster than others, but cookies generally last pretty well and I can’t imagine that there’re any that wouldn’t be okay for two days. If you’re baking for a special occasion, I wouldn’t go longer than that without testing in advance, though most cookies would probably still be fine.

      1. i’m baking sugar cookies (no icing) and chocolate chip cookies. It is a party for a bunch of families with kids/adults, so not a fancy event, but also don’t want to serve people bad tasting food!

        1. Make the dough Thursday but bake Saturday morning. Don’t bake Thursday. They won’t be very good by Saturday.

        2. This is ridiculous. Day old cookies don’t taste bad. Of all the things I bake, cookies hold up the best and most of them taste fine a week on. If you’re baking them for a big event, it makes sense to try to have them at their best, but it’s nonsense to think that there will really be anything wrong with baking them a day or two in advance if you’re in a rush and can’t do it day of.

          2. Yeah no cookies I want to eat go bad this quickly. But it’s also possible to throw them in the freezer and defrost them same day.

          3. They don’t go bad. They go stale. Why wouldn’t you want the scent of fresh baked cookies to greet people anyway?

    2. Definitely. What type of cookies? For sugar cookies, I usually have at least a three day process anyway (bake day one, ice day two and wait to dry, deliver/serve day three)

      1. I’d make the dough but wait to bake them off until the day before/morning of unless you’ll be icing the sugar cookies. I scoop out my chocolate chip cookies and freeze them on trays and then just pop them off so it’s a pretty easy process to bake day of without much fuss. I freeze sugar cookies in a log for homemade slice and bake dough.

    3. I think you can bake Thursday if you need to but of course Friday or Saturday would be better. If you bake Thursday or Friday, store the two varieties separately and put white bread in the storage container to keep the cookies soft.

    5. Cookie dough usually freezes perfectly- if you prep your dough, put balls of dough on a sheet and freeze, you can pull out, & bake 2 min longer than usual.

      And then your house smells like baked cookies.

      1. This is true, but I generally find the baking part of cookie making to take much longer than the making of the dough, at least if you’re making a lot of cookies, so if the problem is that you want to save time on the day of the party, this doesn’t help all that much. Cookie dough is also fine in the fridge overnight, though, and most chocolate chip cookies actually benefit from an overnight rest if you have time.

  10. So there was a comment yesterday afternoon from someone who said their family eventually just stopped filling out the FAFSA for their college-aged child, as there was no point, given that their kid was never eligible for aid.

    Our son is enrolling in college in fall 2024. Our HHI is $260k; we have $650k in retirement, $75k in his 529s (in our names) and about another $100k in other accounts (emergency fund, house repair fund, misc. savings). $200k in equity on our house (which does still have a mortgage on it); we have no other debt other than one car payment. No other children. We are wondering if it’s even worth our time to fill out the FAFSA, given that our son is going to our local State U with a merit scholarship that will pay part of his tuition, and we know he won’t qualify for any other aid (which is fine; we saved money in his 529s for a reason). We’re just going to pay his expenses out of his 529s and should have plenty. I know stuff happens and there’s a possibility he could need loans. But I have a level of discomfort giving all our financial info to the government when we know they’re going to say our expected family contribution is $80k+ and all he’s eligible for is a small amount of unsubsidized Stafford loans, which he doesn’t need unless something catastrophic happens and the money runs out.

    Have any other high-income families with college kids skipped the FAFSA? State U says it’s up to us whether or not we fill it out but it’s “strongly encouraged.” The merit scholarship he got is based on his high school GPA and is basically automatic for all in-state residents with a high enough GPA; he’ll get it whether or not we fill out the FAFSA. They just need his final transcripts to verify before he starts in the fall.

    1. Will the college consider him for additional merit scholarships? Is the FAFSA required in that case?

      1. No, and we’ve looked into it pretty thoroughly. He has a high GPA (weighted and unweighted), but is otherwise is not what you’d call an “exceptional student.” His SAT score was 1350. His extracurriculars aren’t anything out of the ordinary, and he doesn’t play a specialized sport or have a specialized interest that would make him eligible for any specialty scholarships. He plays a sport, but not at any level that would generate any interest in bringing him in on an athletic scholarship.

        1. There are so many posters who chime in regularly about college stuff who don’t have college aged kids. They seem to be basing their opinions on things they’ve read or how things were when they went to college.

          FINANCIAL AID IS DEAD. Everyone needs to face the reality. It’s all loans now, and they aren’t even competitive interest rates.

          I have two kids in college and stopped filling out FAFSA after the first attempt. Useless.

          1. From what I have heard: ten years ago, a lot of upper middle class kids started going to good but not elite schools that offered them substantial merit aid. Example, going to Rensselaer instead of trying for the admissions lottery at CalTech or MIT. Problem is, that only works if most UMC kids are still trying for the top flight schools. As tuition kept climbing and climbing and climbing, more and more kids chose this route… and there just isn’t enough merit aid to go around. Those scholarships may as well not exist any more.

            State schools have now gotten crazy competitive, because parents who earn $200k a year aren’t willing to spend $80k+ per year on college, no matter how good it is. Those kids, who normally would be heading to private, are at UCs, in state flagships, other state flagships, wherever is affordable.

            Colleges are completely unwilling to rein in costs, even though they are slowly killing themselves. They just don’t ever believe that the gravy train will stop running. So the aid gets stingier and stingier, the top price goes up and up, and everyone but the very rich gets squeezed.

          2. in the book Who Gets in and Why (2021 i believe) he talks about how some colleges essentially offer coupons – 4 years for the price of 3 if you sign up by X date, etc…

            but yeah in general I’d agree that financial aid is dead unless your family income is really low. every time i go back to my college for alumni stuff they tell us how “80% of the kids here don’t pay that price!” and i think it’s because they’ve put a huge emphasis on first generation college students and maybe they’re including $1k scholarship and the like in that 80% number.

          3. There is actually a lot more aid for middle/upper middle class families available today at the top tier private schools than there was 20-30 years ago.

          4. Agree with everything, 12:42. The public universities also have out of control costs! So now they cost what a private education cost not too very long ago. And even less incentive to provide scholarships. Most external scholarships are need based or race based now, from what we could see. Grade inflation in high school means my A students were completely average applicants.

      2. My information may be out of date, since my kids graduated in 2020 and 2018, but they both attended a flagship state school and both received merit aid triggered by the FAFSA. My firstborn was a very high GPA, accepted at multiple colleges, walked on to the D1 team at the college, but did not receive athletic money. Instead they got a President’s Award Scholarship that was about 75% of tuition. My youngest was average in GPA, going into a competitive field and got a scholarship offer from XXX Company (2nd largest employer in our state) thru the financial aid department of the college that was about $5000 a semester — so not stellar but not chump change either. The scholarship renewed each semester as long as his GPA remained above a 3. XXX Company awards 10 scholarships a year to names put forth by the FA office of kids who meet a certain profile.

    2. My parents refused to fill out the CSS profile and that made me ineligible for merit aid at my school (then they spent the next four years b*tching about how expensive it was, even though their contribution didn’t change or cover most of it). It depends on the school what the requirements are.

      1. Believe me, if skipping the FAFSA or CSS would make him ineligible for his awarded merit aid, we’d definitely do it. I’m sorry that happened to you.

    3. I am in the same boat as you financially, with 2 kids going to college next Fall, and I have opted out of doing the FAFSA. For what it’s worth from all my research and from what my financial planner told me, if you make more than $200K a year you will get nothing so it’s not worth doing.

      1. We have to do it for scholarship disbursements. Why assume your child is not eligible for that?

    4. I think you’re fine to skip the FAFSA, but be real, the government already knows all your financial info.

      1. I know you’re right. It’s still just weird to me to plug everything about our finances into a tool just to have it tell me what I already know (and am completely fine with, BTW): we make/have too much money for our kid to qualify for aid. I grew up in a “we don’t talk about money ever” family and I still have hangover mental habits from that, I guess.

        1. How is it different than plugging information into a form to qualify for a mortgage or obtain a credit card?

          1. Because she’s filling out mortgage forms and credit card apps to get something? And she will get nothing by filling out FAFSA. Why is this difficult to understand?

    6. Yes I skipped it. There was no point.

      I’ve had rampant identity theft (as in someone went to jail for it) so I’m really cautious about putting my finances out there, especially when there’s no benefit to it.

      1. PS you can always fill it out later if he ends up needing loans, which would likely become clearer in his last year of college if you feel like the 529s are enough or almost enough for it in total. There’s no penalty for not having filled it out in prior years.

      2. OP here. That’s definitely part of my concern. I know there are pieces of information out there in different agencies/databases, and really, none of us have any real privacy any more. But there’s just something uncomfortable to me about putting all this into one record if there’s no benefit to us in doing it. If there was a benefit to us, I would just get over it. But if we’re not going to benefit, it seems like we’re doing something that makes me uncomfortable (for what I will grant are somewhat nebulous and possibly specious reasons) for no good purpose.

    7. I would at least do it for the first year on the off chance you qualify for additional merit aid. I don’t understand the issue of the government knowing this information. All of it has already been disclosed to the government when you file taxes each year: income, retirement contributions, interest and capital gains on all your accounts. They already know you make a lot of money!

      1. It’s not just the government. It’s the college and staff at the college, many of whom are students, it’s also state government and more staff. Basically the more times your information is “touched” the more chances there are for identity theft.

          1. You don’t have any idea. I actually called the financial aid office at my son’s school and spoke to a student worker, who then pulled up our FAFSA (the one and only year I submitted one) to verify my identity. The identity question? Gross income from last year’s tax return. He had it all, baby. Don’t lie.

          3. He told me he was a student worker when I asked a question that was above his pay grade.

    8. I’ve seriously considered skipping it because we don’t qualify for anything. However, we are having our kids take out the available federal loans every year as a means of ensuring they have some financial investment in their education and it’s necessary for those, so I grit my teeth and fill it out.

    9. I would fill it out – there is really no downside except the time it takes, and the upsides could be huge.
      Fwiw we got up to $20k/year of need-based aid from some private schools on a similar income, although I expect we would have gotten nothing at a public college. But I still would have filled out the FAFSA.

    10. Don’t you need a FAFSA for work study? I never qualified for need based aid in the form of tuition/books/room and board, but I really enjoyed earning some spending money by working at the library or, later, TA’ing for professors.

      I don’t really understand the resistance to telling the government about your financial situation. You file taxes, right?

      1. Work study is usually tied to financial aid, so if they’re not getting aid from the school then the son can’t do work study. He can get a non-work study job (and some TA jobs are non-work study), which could be on campus or off, but not a work study job.

        1. Yeah that’s my point, you need a FAFSA because work study is considered financial aid, but my understanding is there’s a much different cutoff. Just because you don’t qualify for help with tuition doesn’t mean you don’t qualify for work study.

        2. Work study eligibility is usually much greater than people who qualify for grants. I only qualified for loans that I didn’t end up accepting, but I still qualified for work study and that made me eligible for jobs I couldn’t have gotten otherwise because it’s an extra pot of money. Some jobs are only funded by work study money so they only hire work study eligible students, while others have different funding sources.

        3. Just chiming in to agree – my son tried to get a campus job, any campus job whether work study or not, and did not qualify due to having no “need.”

      2. Doesn’t sound like this kid is the type to study and have a job at the same time anyway.

        1. OP here. He actually is in dual enrollment (taking high school and college classes simultaneously), has a part-time job as a health-club lifeguard working about 18 hours a week, is co-captain of the debate team, and plays soccer for a (not-that-competitive, admittedly) club team. And he is a volunteer assistant teacher at his karate school, for the little kids (5-6 year-olds) on Saturday mornings. But hey, feel free to throw shade at kids you don’t know online, anonymously, if it makes you feel better. As a grown adult, I bet it makes you feel really powerful and important to say mean things about someone else’s kid online, and that’s what matters, isn’t it? Whatever’s going to make you feel better about your life. At least for thirty or sixty seconds, or so.
          Keep chasing those dopamine hits!

          I’m really sorry for whatever’s happened to you to make you the way you are, BTW. I hope things get better for you. Somehow.

      1. But why? It’s pointless. People should really think about filling out stuff like this.

        1. I just check the box in my tax software that has it spit out the FAFSA form for me. It has far less info than my tax forms themselves, nothing that I feel needs encrypting before emailing the form.

        2. “People should really think about filling out stuff like this”

          What does this even mean?

          1. It means people should consider NOT filling it out if there’s no benefit to doing so.

        1. I didn’t read it as snarky. Unless you have a complicated income situation it’s really not very time-consuming to fill out, and I don’t really see any downside to doing it even if you don’t expect much or any aid.

      3. IDK –not the OP, but I am a very small % part-owner in a business and get paid via a K-1, so I am sure that the FAFSA would be a nightmare for me. And all of my pay is contingent, so even if last year was good, this year might be a disaster and I don’t prior year’s K-1s until April / May from the accountants.

    12. We filled it out initially, but once we realized that we were not going to get any aid we did not fill it out the next 3 years. My daughter still got her merit scholarships at our big State university, so at least there the scholarship was not tied to filling it out.

    13. I have graduated two, and my third kid is a sophomore, and I’ve never filled out FAFSA because our family contribution will be far higher than their college costs. The lore is that some colleges require it for merit aid, but if your son’s doesn’t (none of my kids’ schools have required it for merit or athletic aid), there is no point.

    14. You have to look at the college’s requirements for merit aid. The colleges where my daughter is applying require both the FAFSA and the CSS. The CSS is much more intrusive and annoying.

    15. This reminds me of school lunch forms when my kids were in elementary through high school. The school district pressured everyone to fill them out – they were used for determining whether students were eligible for free lunch. Most people reflexively filled them out, even through they knew they wouldn’t qualify. I was a holdout.

      Sure enough, I went to a PTA meeting and before the official meeting the moms who were PTA officers were gossiping about how much everyone made, and targeting the higher earners for big contributions to fundraising.

      Do not kid yourself that universities aren’t doing the same damn thing.

      My kids are in college now. I filled out the FAFSA one and only one time. It was useless. Even though my annual income is lower now (I’m about half retired), we have significant retirement savings outside of 401K accounts, as well as 529 accounts, and the response was just laughable.

      My son qualified for unsubsidized parent loans if needed. That was it. I may as well have taken out a revolving line of credit at my bank, and would have had a better interest rate too.

      1. I used to write our name, “exceeds limits” under income, and nothing else on the free lunch forms when we were required to turn them in.

        1. I wrote “not applying for free lunch” across the entire form with only our names and address at the top!

      2. The gossiping is gross, but I do think there’s value in having everyone fill out the form. It reduces stigma and also catches people who wouldn’t realize they’re eligible.
        We are relatively high earners (~$200k combined total salaries in a LCOL area) and I learned a month before our only child finished daycare that we had been eligible for heavily subsidized tuition the entire time. The published income cutoff was $150k, so I just assumed we didn’t qualify but apparently they use W-2 income and our W-2 income was (barely) under that threshold. So I wish someone had made me fill out a financial aid form!

      3. How weird – my public school district only required people to fill it out in order to be considered for assistance. It certainly wasn’t required for everyone. Now, the district has universal free breakfast and lunch, no forms required. I don’t think the PTA had anything to do with it. They shouldn’t – it’s a federal program.

        1. Yeah, our PTA has no access to that kind of information. There are definitely some busybodies but our school offices are pretty tight-lipped (especially since we have a new principal who is much more professional than the last few).

          I’m sorry that happened to you. We’re fairly high earners for our district and I filled out the lunch form without thinking twice because I love that we have free school lunch for everyone (CA) and I love our lunch ladies (who know all the kids especially in the early grades).

        2. Same. We’re in MA. I’m the treasurer of the PTA and we have absolutely nothing to do with free lunch programs (which no longer exist since all lunch is free! but they forms still exist and everyone does them). All we do is advertise that there are funds for families for opt-in activities– and if a family wants to access them they go through the guidance counselor who just requests PTA dollars.

        3. Same, I’m also on the PTA and baffled about how and why the PTA would have any access to this info. We do get a list of the kids kids who need scholarships for PTA-planned events (and on the flip side, a list of the families who donated to cover scholarships), but we have nothing to do with the school lunch and I would think giving us that info might be a violation of some federal privacy regulation.

          1. The PTA moms (and they were all moms) were self appointed to make sure everyone turned them in. Your kid brings the form to school in their backpack. You have no control over who collects them – classroom volunteer PTA members in my case.

          2. That is very weird that that kind of form would be collected by volunteers. Our school would definitely have that information submitted directly by parents online or possibly collected by the teachers, but there’s no way any parent volunteer would have their hands on a form that contained parents’ income info.

      4. I promise you the schools are not using the FAFSA for fundraising purposes. That is absolutely not allowed, similar to your doctor releasing your health information.

    16. Doesn’t anyone try for the hundreds of scholarships still floating around? Like, write an essay and get $1,000 from the Junior Classical League, promising to take a year of Latin in college (and take care of the foreign language requirement without language lab!). Or write an essay and get a scholarship for being Scottish. Or get a scholarship through Scouting. Or by playing an instrument, get a scholarship from the local Rotary or whatever. Do you need to do a FAFSA form for them? I used to see thick books listing all the scholarships available in the public library’s reference section. These organizations didn’t just disappear, did they?

      1. I’m on the board of a local community scholarship fund. We require the CSS Profile for consideration. Many of the scholarships we give out aren’t need based. Some are really random like a student who wants to study biology, or being a baseball player, or attending X university.

      2. – A lot of those scholarships now have race-based or socioeconomic criteria. Go look some of them up, if you don’t believe me. So Future Quilters of America (totally made that up) requires applicants to be minority, or first-gen college students, of have a verified household income at 400% of the poverty level or less, to qualify for their $1000 scholarship.

        – Apparently the conversations about college costs that have been had here just in the past few days have been skipped over by some people. If tuition is $30k per year, a $1000 scholarship doesn’t really and much of a dent. Most kids don’t consider it to be worth it, to spend time researching scholarships, writing essays, and doing legwork, to get a $1000 nonrenewable scholarship from Future Quilters of America, or whatever. Kids can make $18/hr now in a part-time job. And if you’re old enough to remember those big books o’scholarships, that’s your most recent experience with college aid, understanding college costs, etc.? You’re probably not equipped with recent enough information to participate intelligently in this conversation.

        1. lol of course a $1000 scholarship is barely helpful at all whether you’re talking about a $15,000 school or a $92,000 school. no one is disputing that.

        2. Yes, my older kid was really diligent about looking for outside scholarships. We are partly native american but not enrolled in the tribe – I am either 1/4 or 1/8 blood quantum depending on which Indian Census you believe, but my mom didn’t enroll so I can’t. It’s a whole thing.

          Anyway, my daughter didn’t qualify for anything because it was all need and race/first gen based. Which I actually don’t object to. We saved enough money for an in-state public school education and that’s what she got, and she is thriving. I’m just pointing out reality because I know a lot of fellow commenters are in the planning for college stage and I think it’s important to be realistic.

      3. I’m on the board of a community group that gives out scholarships as well, and the applications can get pretty complex for a relatively small amount of money. Not that anyone listens to me about the equity issues in having long and difficult forms…

      4. What does this have to do with the OP’s questions?

        Also yes of course people still apply for scholarships.

        1. I just never hear of it any more. It’s all loans-loans-loans. If you get two or three thousand dollar scholarships (spending god forbid two hours on each) that’s two or three thousand less you might have to borrow. I have read comments elsewhere that people discourage applying for scholarships because it reduces the amount you can borrow. Isn’t the point?

          I myself never applied for any kind of financial aid because we could afford college. So yeah, I am not familiar with the process. I’m trying to learn, however, so thanks so much.

  11. Help me plan a weekend trip to NYC in December. DH has never been and I haven’t been since before Covid. He is a midwestern boy and dislikes cities but he wants to see NYC at least once. The lights are so pretty I feel like if he saw it at this time of year maybe he’d be more open to going back. I remember the Christmas markets being lovely. We’ll have to go ice skating or at least watch people ice skating. Walk through Central Park (are there lights at night?). I think the rockettes Christmas show is a cute experience but I’m not sure if he’d be that into it. Any thoughts or suggestions for where to stay, where to eat, things to do?

    1. We went last year in early December. Central Park was very underwhelming. We took a horse drawn carriage ride and felt really bad for the horses, who seemed miserable. Also…it’s just a park. It looked no different than any other park.

      We did a harbor cruise that passed by, but didn’t disembark, at the Statue of Liberty. It was really fun but cold, even inside the boat, so dress warmly in layers.

      We enjoyed dining at some great restaurants. We also went to see the Rockefeller Center tree. Neither of us went iceskating though. Be prepared for chaos in that area. There were police barriers up to funnel people and cops directing traffic.

      There were some small Christmas market type vendor stalls that were cute to look at. Also, our hotel was beautifully decorated.

        1. Civilian Hotel in Times Square, which my husband loved to experience (he also had never been to NYC).

    2. My inlaws are in NYC and this is my favorite time of year there!!

      The Rockettes is super fun if you haven’t done it before.
      I’m a former competitive figure skater, so obviously quite biased, but I think ice skating is a must – there are several good spots: Rockefeller Center, Bryant Park and the rink in Central Park. Bryant Park is my favorite, although I would recommend at least visiting Rockefeller Center too as a first time visitor.
      There’s a Christmas market in Union Square that’s fun.
      The decorated department store windows are worth a visit, but a little overrated IMO
      One of my favorite light displays is in the Columbus Circle Mall (which I know is kind of dumb, who goes to NYC just to visit a mall?) but they have these huge stars that light up in time to music and it’s really stunning.
      Not Christmas related but NYC has several outposts of my favorite French macaron store, La Maison du Chocolat – don’t miss that if you’re a chocolate lover.

    3. Central Park isn’t lit with holiday lights, and IMHO the really interesting thing about it is people watching, which isn’t at its best when it is cold. If he doesn’t like cities, he might also not like the insane crowds around overtly Christmas-y stuff like skating at Rockerfeller Center, so you might try to do some SLIGHTLY less touristy things. The Met has a big Christmas tree inside every year and is a truly fantastic museum at any time of year. I like walking through Grand Central, which is beautiful at any time of year, and typically has a holiday market within, plus good stores that are open year round. The Transit Museum annex in there has a nice and free model train display every Christmas. The holiday train show at the New York Botanical Garden is cool, but it is in the Bronx so would be a bit of a shlep. You can take Metro North from Grand Central up there I think though. I would try to find a performance or concert that would appeal to him – there is a ton of great stuff happening all the time beyond the Rockettes, and that is part of what makes NYC so amazing. What does he like?

    4. The Natural History Museum is awesome if either of you has even the slightest interest in dinosaurs or whales or even gemstones. (Watch “A Night at the Museum” before you go!)

      If he is at all interested in history, the Lower East Side Tenement Museum is really great. It’s right around the corner from Katz’s Deli (“I’ll have what she’s having”) so you can stop there for lunch.

      I feel like it’s a shame to go to NYC and not see a Broadway show, but YMMV. Some of the classics like Wicked are still playing, or you can pick something new.

      I am a lover of small walking tours — food tours, Central Park tours (it’s a lot more fun/interesting with a guide to tell you about the history and point out the sights you’d otherwise miss), you name it. Go over to Viator dot com and browse until you see something that strikes your fancy. I’ve never had a bad time on a NYC walking tour.

      I think everybody should go to Top of the Rock and/or the Empire State Building at least once. I prefer the former because you’re looking the Empire State Building in the eye, as it were.

      Have a great trip!

    5. My husband is country at heart, but he does like nice food/drink, so maybe head in that direction? Doesn’t have to be upscale, but restaurants/experiences that you can’t do at home. I remember having some really fun, cozy meals there one winter, but it’s been so long I can’t give names, sorry!

    6. Depending on where you’re currently coming from, I’d take a quick detour down to Manhattan Chinatown. I know the newer delicious Chinese regional food is mostly over in Flushing these days, but there’s something about Manhattan Chinatown that’s hard to experience elsewhere (that’s not SF or Chicago for example). Speaking of food, Koreatown on 32 street is a great place to stop in between for affordable food near the big tourist stops like the Empire State building.
      And finally, I do recommend going up one of the skyscrapers at least once in your life – it’s pricey, it’s a tourist trap, but it’s something worth doing once to say you’ve seen and done it!

      Like others have said, Central Park isn’t lighted, but you know what is and has the best seasonal window displays this time of year? FIFTH AVENUE!

    7. Can I pose an alternative idea, what about NYC in early spring? If he hates cities, he may detest NYC at Christmas. I love cities but hate the Christmas/New Years crowds in the city. Yet I’m always antsy to go somewhere at the end of winter. The juxtaposition of those doldrums and NYC is magical. Find time for outdoor activities such as a ferry to the Stature of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, Central Park or the High Line so he can see more than city.

  12. I might be in the market for a new clothes washer soon. Do you have a model that you love?

      1. Yes, this. Simple, effective, mechanical, fewer bells and whistles mean fewer things to break. Ours is at least 15 years old and has never had a problem. (Knock wood!)

    2. I don’t have any recs for good washers, but try to get a top loader. Front loaders tend to have mold issues for some reason. We have to keep the door open on ours when we’re not using it, and our laundry room is small so it’s always in the way. So annoying.

    3. I’ve bought two sets in the last 6 months – one for us and one for my mom – and did tons of research and LG is where it’s at right now. (Speed Queen excepted – their models didn’t meet our needs, but they’re always reliable in their niche.)

      We’ve had this model for 6 months and been very pleased. We were especially pleased when the dryer alerted us that the exterior vent needed cleaning. https://www.costco.com/lg-4.5-cu.-ft.-front-load-washer-with-turbowash-360-and-7.4-cu.-ft.-electric-dryer-with-turbosteam-and-built-in-intelligence.product.4000103945.html

      My mom’s had this unit for 2 months and is over the moon. If you intend to stack, the centralized controls on this makes it so much easier. https://www.costco.com/lg-washtower-single-unit-electric-with-center-control-4.5-cu.-ft.-front-load-washer-and-7.4-cu.-ft.-dryer-with-turbosteam.product.100683465.html

      1. Bought an LG about two years ago based on consumer reports. I’ve been very happy with it so far. The repairman (who examined the old washer told me I’d need a new one) recommended I get one with an access panel in the front, which the LG has. Having the access panel made some repairs feasible down the road that wouldn’t be possible in other models. (Two years on, however, I’ve forgotten which repairs.)

      2. We have a top-loading HE Samsung that is now about 8 or 9 years old – we’ve been really happy with it.

    4. Anything top loading. Everyone I asked when we were replacing ours said they went with front-loading wished they could go back to top loading.

  13. Can anyone recommend a small, compact wallet to toss into a belt bag? I need to hold cash and cards plus a few business cards. I’d prefer something non-leather and maybe patterned. Thanks!

  14. Just a quick note to those her that recently recommended hydroxy apatite toothpaste to get rid of stains and build enamel.
    I bought the Moon brand toothpaste and have noticed a substantial improvement within a few weeks. Also, my teeth feel very smooth.

    1. I got the Biorepair that was recommended on that thread and my teeth are whiter. Not blindingly white but a noticeable improvement.

  15. ISO a nice looking refillable plastic hand soap pump for my kids’ bathroom that is also the one guests use. Ideally without soap already in it, unless it’s gentle enough for my kid’s eczema. Currently are using an old softsoap pump bottle with the label torn off – anything would be an upgrade but I’m curious if anyone has anything they’ve found. Thanks!

    1. Sadly, I’ve never found a refillable bottle where the pump doesn’t gunk up and break within months. Unless you try one of those olive oil spouts on a glass bottle? My MIL does that for her dish soap.

      1. I think you have to wash them, like you do with most things that aren’t disposable.

    2. I have some plastic refillable soap containers from Amazon, going strong after several years.

    3. I hate that patients are always punished for having a health condition with ugly and utilitarian things. Vanicream is the hand soap I tolerate best, but the bottle is purely utilitarian!

      If you’re willing to use up soap, wash the bottle, and keep it, or experiment with hand soaps that might be gentle enough, there are a lot of options depending on your aesthetics. Watkins, Deruta, Marseille, etc.

    6. I got one at Marshall’s or Home Goods. It’s glass, we fill it up with Mrs Meyers and it works fine. You can get them from Amazon too, and they do sell plastic ones.

    8. I bought some glass ones off Etsy and they have been working fine for the last 6 months. Or you can buy a fancy soap like Aesop and transfer the nice soap into something else for your use and replace with a gentle soap.

    11. If you are willing to spend a little extra, the SimpleHuman touchless dispenser is really good. It is stainless, but I assume you specified plastic because you don’t want something fragile.

    12. We bought the touchless Simple Human one, but it’s annoying to recharge pretty frequently IMO.

      We use Method soap and replace their plastic refillable foam dispensers about 1-2 times a year.

    2. Saldo. Tastes more expensive than it is. Available at grocery stores and Costco near me.

    3. Local wine store, ask the salespeople – wine store salespeople tend to be wonderful and not at all snobbish about what you want to spend.

      1. +1

        But if you just have to swing by the grocery store (assuming you live in a state with grocery store wine sales), Decoy Pinot Noir is always my go-to. Decoy has a light colored label with a duck on it.

  17. not trying to start a riot, real question– is the issue with ‘fast fashion” that it is so uber trendy that it only lasts a season or that it’s so poorly made that it doesn’t last more than a season? because honestly i don’t think the quality at j crew or aqua or similar is any better than old navy or kohls….

    1. All of the above, plus the working conditions must be sweatshops for the pricing models to work.

    2. I think for most people it’s the overconsumption plus horrific working conditions of people making the clothes. Not that J Crew is necessarily better from a workers rights standpoint, but if you’re keeping the item for multiple seasons it’s somewhat less harmful than buying dozens of new shein pieces every few weeks.

    4. It’s also the breadth of the collections. Places like Zara cycle through items every 6 weeks, and whatever isn’t sold goes in the landfill. More sustainable/higher end places have a single collection per season which allows for less overproduction.

    5. Too trendy, really poor quality, the exploitation of low paid workers in poor conditions, the environmental impact of constant manufacturing and overconsumption.

    6. It’s the environmental impact and the terrible working conditions of people who make pennies to make your crap clothes.

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