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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Inside-Out Jersey Blazer

A woman with short black hair wearing a dark pink blazer with exposed seams, black pants, and a black top

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This blazer from Giorgio Armani is a work of art. If you are the sort of person who spends four figures on a single article of clothing, run, don’t walk for this one! I love the length, the contrasting seams, and the gorgeous color.

I would wear this with a basic black-and-white outfit so the blazer could really be the star of the show.

The jacket is $2,195 at Bergdorf Goodman and comes in IT sizes 38–48.

This piece is a tough act to follow; however, here are a few more affordable blazers in rich shades of pink: this Ann Taylor blazer (regular, petite, and tall up to 18; $198), this blazer from Amy Lynn (S–XL; $119); and this Vince Camuto blazer (14W–24W; $154).

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

314 Comments

  1. This looks like a cheap shiny unlined polyester thing I would find at 5 Below. The way it fits the model so poorly being too large across the shoulders, pulling at the button, and stretched out of shape across the hips, I can only imagine how awful it would look on a normal person.

      1. The cut makes it looks like she’s straining to button it with the odd angle. I can only imagine how it looks on someone like me, who is short and not built like a model.

        1. It also looks like it has some kind of weird bulgy shoulder pads. Definitely not $2000 tailoring. And the hot pink with lighter pink seams is very Barbie.

    3. I can’t imagine spending any amount of money on a blazer with serged seams out for the world to see. It looks unfinished.

  2. In the spirit of being prepared, does anyone have any thoughts on evaporative portable air conditioners? We don’t have AC and can’t do an in-window or venting option because the condo board is asinine. PNW so really only want it for about 3 weeks a year. Are there any other options besides just sleeping at a hotel?

    1. No insight on those units, but what about a heat pump/mini split? It is expensive if you just use it for AC but ours does a great job supplementing our oil heat in the shoulder seasons.

    2. I believe these only work if you have super low humidity. Our friends in Joshua Tree have one, and there are days when it’s too humid there to run it. As a Houstonian, this blows my mind a little. I would still go talk to someone at Home Depot or wherever you could buy one. Hope that is helpful.

    3. How on earth does the condo board expect to attract buyers if no A/C is permitted? I would never, ever buy a home that I couldn’t air condition in some way, no matter where it was.

      1. Depends on where you are, in San Francisco I don’t know of a place with AC and you never need it.

        1. You need it during a heat wave, especially if there are wildfires and you have to keep the windows closed and run an air filter. You might not need central A/C, but you at least need to be able to use a window unit temporarily in an emergency.

          1. Do you live here? That has never been a thing you need, even in a wildfire in SF proper. The wildfires are not raging through the city. I’ll admit there may be a night or two when it’s nice to have, but it’s hardly a necessity. That’s why they aren’t here.

          2. It’s a new thing to need these. San Francisco and the PNW have existed for centuries as population centers without air conditioning in homes. I’m in Berkeley in a century old house with only central heating and no A/C, and that is extremely typical here.

            After the heat wave at the same time as poor air quality in 2020 we bought a portable A/C, but then didn’t need it in 2021 so it’s still in the box. I therefore can’t give you a personal review.

            However we bought this particular one because a friend has it and says it’s very effective for the few days per year he uses it.

            Honeywell MO08CESWK6 9,100 BTU (ASHRAE)/6,100 BTU (SACC) Portable Air Conditioner – White/Black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08X9J8QV8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_AKZA9J1374CK8ZPMJ0FV?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

            Obviously we are not trying to cool our entire house with this. The plan was to mainly use it in our bedroom, and possibly use it in our office area on the worst days.

          4. I don’t know what your point is but Berkeley is inner bay and doesn’t get as hot as the east east bay over the hills (Concord, Pleasanton, Livermore area). I lived in The City for years and then moved over here because I wanted slightly sunnier weather, and got it, but it doesn’t get hot hot except for a couple of days per year. Everyone complains when it hits the 80s, just like in the city.

            And my friend on Nob Hill was the one who recommended the A/C unit.

        2. It depends on where you are in SF. If you’re in the banana belt, it can get into the 90s. And if you’re on a third or fourth floor in a small apartment that gets a lot of sun in the daytime, that can be very uncomfortable. I’m glad you live somewhere in SF that you absolutely don’t need it, but there certainly are places that are not comfortable without it during hotter periods in SF. Summer 2020 had a few very hot weeks and I was glad to have a leftover window AC from my time in Boston.

    4. Living in seattle, after last year that’s bananas. I made it through 15 years here and last year bought a venting portable A/C. Even if you’re not allowed a window unit I would consider if you can make a medical case to the board for a vent-out-the-window—easily moved and taken out of the window on normal days (unlike a window unit, so they might be happier aesthetic wise) but surely if there is someone with asthma or any other condition affected by heat and smoke they can’t not let you have one? Is this an issue of old building and poor electric and they can’t let everyone have one or they’d blow fuses?? Seriously bananas. I love mostly not needing one here with cool nights even on hot days but when it’s 108 degrees?

    5. I’m in bc Canada, and I have one that has been a lifesaver during heatwaves. Our condo is concrete, so by day three of a heat wave, it is unbearable. We mostly run it to cool one room at a time and move it around as needed. We also have two hepa filters due to wildfire smoke, and the hepa filter has a fan that cools too. I am glad we went for it. I suffer from migraines, and being able to rest in a cool room is so worth it. We don’t have it running all the time. We turn it on in one hour or two hour intervals, and combine it with a fan for when it’s off. I would say we use it two to three weeks a year intermittently. It sits in our second bedroom and is a bit of a pain to store as it is big, but for us, it is worth it.

      1. I want to add that our strata allows this as the hose vents out of the window. Permanent ac units are not allowed as they would have to be mounted outside the windows. I think since we are a smaller building, we could make the case for units buying the same units and having them installed en masses, but no one has brought this up and most units have the portable units.

  3. I am liking the shirt dresses I see everywhere this spring and want to get one for summer, but in all the pictures the models are wearing them with espadrilles or espadrille like sandals which are too casual for me. What other flat shoes would work? Is there a style of flat sandal that is “nice” enough for the business side of business casual? I usually just wear pointy or ballet flats, but those seem wrong for this.

    2. Loafers? Maybe even a driving moccasin? I think leaning preppy might help. May also depend on where you live – in my SEUS city, an espadrille wedge would count as business casual.

    3. Agree a loafer would be a natural fit.

      Where are you seeing all these shirt dresses? I would love if they came back into fashion!

      1. I got one from Lands End that is blue and white striped, with a blue dip-dye look at the hem. I think I’ve seen shirt dresses at Talbots, too.

    5. I love my Karen Kane shirt dress! It looks put together, but feels so comfortable. I decided that oversized shirt dresses will be my summer office look this year.

      Do strappy flat sandals work for you? They look more elevated than the Birkenstocks I wear with my shirtdress. Actually, now that I think about it, I think any shoe would work with a shirtdress, including pointy or ballet flats.

    7. I lean into classic 1970s ish styles with my shirt dress. I can’t find my exact shoes but something like this.

      https://www.zappos.com/p/asin/B08PSS72XW

      Or maybe
      https://www.zappos.com/p/asin/B01N90APFF

      I don’t exactly know what this style of shoe is clef so I’m having a hard time searching for them, but basically a low heeled closed toe almost-sandal.

      I think I was influenced by my mom wearing shoes like this with her shirt dresses when they had a big moment in the 1970s and it has always seemed like the right look to me.

  4. I am in the midst of annual associate-appraisals (I’m a 7th year on track for shareholder in the next 1-3 years). I got my review back from my mentor shareholder last week, and it is different than my previous annual reviews from him. It is much more critical than previous reviews, and he scored me lower than the past two previous years in quite a few categories. One of the main comments on the review that is causing me some confusion is that he stated my “managing down” needs attention. My main practice area is heavily staff-driven (attorney lead, several paralegals and several assistants). I work closely, and well (I thought) with the staff in this practice area and others, and I recently “took” this practice area after the primary shareholder went senior status (in part with the buy-in from my mentor shareholder). I don’t have any specific examples of what this shareholder is referring to with “managing down,” but I want to ask for some in my formal review. Has anyone had similar comments on reviews? And, what did you do to improve?

    1. I can see two different motivations for that comment. Is the concern a client relations one that you are billing for work that should be done by support staff/ a more junior attorney with a lower billing rate, or is the concern actually about the workflow? If it is the former, it may be easier to adjust your time-entry practices. If the concern is really that you are doing work that should be delegated or that you are not delegating effectively, that will be a tougher fix.

    2. Also, in law, I find that we let people slide a bit in the earlier years and the reviews become much more critical the longer you are out of school. Like one person has a great pedigree and is a great co-worker and can take direction well but then was counseled out b/c she just could not be the primary person on a deal or first-chair something. And because there will always be another 5th year associate who is adequate, it is hard to keep a more expensive person with the same skill set. So may be that? I see a lot of people who are OK through year 4 and then the harsh reviews start. It’s sort of like after the NFL combine happens and even good people get cut b/c there isn’t room for everyone on the team.

    3. Do the staff members work for other attorneys too? They might be annoyed that their staff are always too busy with “your” work.

      Law firms also tend to be hypercritical of women attorneys’ relationship with women staff members. If you’re too friendly then you’re accused of being “friends with the staff” aka an ineffective leader. If you’re not friendly enough then you’re catty.

    4. If your firm is up or out, you’re in the class range where reviews turn negative for a paper trail to push you out and it’s a big signal you’re not going to make it there. I’d start looking and make an exit plan.

      2. +1, unfortunately. You could ask for a six-month follow up review or something, but it looks like they’re starting to paper the exit for you to me. Obviously I don’t know how your firm is set up, but that’s how I would read it.

      3. Although this is true, I’m not sure it applies to OP’s situation based on what she’s written here. Generally when they push you out, the negative reviews are about your performance. You’re not good on your feet, your writing sucks, you can’t multitask – substantive stuff. Not, you need to manage non-attorney staff better. If anything I would think that reviewing her on staff management skills shows that they value her and they’re just trying to find something kind of negative she can work on to prove she really wants to make partner.

        1. My experience is they take anything they can say with a straight face. The content of the review is irrelevant, it’s the fact that it’s negative. She’s just been told she isn’t making shareholder or partner or whatever her firm does.

        2. I think that it is more negative AND out of the blue is the issue. If you’re hearing things for the first time like that, it’s usually a sign they are nit-picking to make a paper trail.

        3. I agree. She is near to being voted thums up or thums down on partnership, and they are always trying to get more out of you so that you are grateful if you make it. In her case, I recall similarities, b/c when I was up for it, even the manageing partner, who had been most solicitious of me, found fault in some little things and made a big thing of it — like I wasn’t calling back the cleints as quickly as I had in the past (hello? it was because I was juggling 4x the number of cleints?! while he was just watching me juggle while he polished his head! –But then, when I did make partner, and was so happy, he took all the credit for it, because he controlled the deliberations in the meeting, which I was NOT a party to yet. So in the OP’s case, I would think she would heed the advise now and mabye it will pay off. If not, she can get another job if they don’t elevate her, but that is negative, so I will only think positive. Good luck to you and if the partner is still down on you next year, FOOEY on him!

      4. So yeah, this. The comment above about how what partneres are looking for changes as you’re more senior is the “glass half full” interpretation and “glass half empty” is the very real possibility that partners are being stingy with praise/more criticial because they don’t want to have to promote you when the time comes.
        YMMV whether this is a valid concern that can be overcome (or even an invalid concern that you can still “turn around”) or whether it’s the paper trail to push you out.

      6. Not in law but in almost any organization, a review taking a sharp downward turn from previous reviews is not a good sign. When I read OP’s comment I thought to myself, this sounds like the kind of non-issue issue that gets brought up in performance reviews when someone wants to be promoted and isn’t going to be (for whatever reason). OP, if your mentor shareholder isn’t willing to provide concrete examples and mentoring to help you with the issue, and instead vaguely exhorts you to improve without telling you how to do that – take that as a firm signal things are on a downward trajectory.

      7. Unfortunately also my thought. Unless there are people who trump this person and will go to bat for you, this kind of vague and suddenly negative review does not bode well.

  5. I am in a style rut. Clothes, hair, makeup (little to none) – should I go back and read the old post about getting ones groove back, or is that so outdated??

    1. I know this blog features clothing items, but I’m not sure it’s the best one for gaining or recreating a sense of personal style. The first question I’d ask is, How much time/effort are you wanting to put in? Are you looking for an updated outfit or two, or are you looking for a more general make-over effect?

    2. Try the book The Curated Closet. It is designed to help you discern your personal style.

  6. The check I mailed 9 weeks ago to pay a medical bill is still not cashed, and they’ve sent two reprints of the bil. What do you think the chances are of them refunding my money if I pay online and then the check shows up later? It’s over 800 bucks, so not something I can let go if they double-dip. Customer care was not a bit helpful.

    1. Can you have your bank cancel the check? (Not free but perhaps worth it to avoid paying $800 twice…)

      1. OP here: I was appalled to find out that paying $40 for a “stop check” actually only applies for three months. There is no such thing as permanently cancelling a check at this credit union. Is that a common thing?

        1. It is, unfortunately. That being said, most banks will not pay a stale check so you can renew the stop until the stale check date and then the odds your bank will pay it are low.

          1. You’d be astonished at what banks let slip through –they may claim they practice all the diligence in the world, but the things I’ve seen get paid… Don’t trust them.

    2. Can I ask why you decided to pay with a check? This is a fear of mine so I always pay online where I can mitigate human error.

      1. OP here: They do not accept Discover, which is the only credit card I have, and I was (am) not thrilled about giving them web access to my bank account, because their webs1te does not use https. It’s some random out-of-state company that processes surgery bills.

        1. How do you get by in life with only a Discover card? Too many places don’t take it.

          1. OP here: I’ve never had a major problem before this. A few local family-owned places don’t take Discover, but I’ve always paid cash at those types of businesses anyway, to save them CC fees. Large national corps have always been willing to take the big 4 CC brands. I had a Citi Mastercard back in the late aughts, but I never used it, so they closed the account.

        2. I’ve started using Papaya for anything that’s remotely onerous to pay. Unless I can click a link and pay (and that really only works with the Children’s Hospital and sometimes the large university hospital system), I just take a pic of it on the Papaya app and they sort it out using my preferred methods of payment. It’s been reliable so far.

      2. Yeah, there are just too many potential ways for a check to get mishandled, between what can happen in the mail and then what can happen with physical processing of the check once it gets to the payee. All the medical establishments I’ve paid online recently send an email receipt and I also screenshot the “you have successfully paid” screen so I have backup.

    3. I’ve been fighting a hospital system about a significant overpayment for 1.5 years and they’re not motivated to do more than move in circles.

      I would ask escalate to a manager over the inability to put a permanent stop on that check.

    4. No suggestions but commiseration. I’ve had this happen with 2 different medical bills in the last few months. Before that, I had it happen repeatedly with an insurance premium. Billing departments need to get their people back into the office. If you are going to accept checks, which you should unless you have a solid alternative, you need people in the office to process them in a timely and accurate manner. These are all checks paid directly through my bank’s BillPay, and I can provide proof that I’ve paid that way, but they claim not to have ever received the checks.
      Before the last year, I don’t remember ever having anything lost in the mail.
      And don’t get me stared on medical providers who think it is okay to send a bill only via text. TEXT?

      1. Another pet peeve is only posting to their portal. That’s great for people who want to do business that way. I don’t—and I resent medical providers putting the onus on me to track down my bill so that I can pay them.

      2. This is why I don’t give medical practices my e-mail address or cell phone number. I want all my medical bills in hard copy, thank you very much.

    5. I am old, I have written many checks over the years, and I still write checks. I have never had an issue with a lost check being cashed – and I have never put a stop payment on for a check lost in the mail. Nor have I ever had an issue with getting a refund when I have overpaid in other circumstances, although it might take some phone calls to straighten out. The chances of both those things happening (lost check getting deposited by the intended recipient, along with refusal to issue a refund) is quite small, so maybe that will set your mind at ease. Right now customer service is not helping you because from their end, all they know is you have not paid an $800 bill.

      1. You are very lucky that you’ve never had a nightmare of a time with a medical billing department. I’m not sure that good experiences are universal, and there’s no way I’d trust that a refund would be easy or a check wouldn’t get cashed in this circumstance. Plus the poster might not have an extra $800 that can get tied up for some undetermined time period while waiting for a refund.

        1. Then at this point, if customer service won’t agree to avoid double cashing, the poster’s only recourse is to stop the check (for 3 month periods until 180 days is reached) and avoid paying by check in future? I mean, it’s not my fault I have been able to procure refunds in the past?

    6. They will eventually pay you back but I’m sure before that happens they will cash both.

      I’d call the billing office. They might be able to do something in the system.

      1. This is a Catch 22. I do not pay my bills myself so do not have this issue, but my Dad complains all the time about incompetents in the billing departments of medical practises as well as other things. He renewed his subscription to some newsletter, but they kept billing him even tho he had a cancelled check. He was very annoyed at them and told me never to get that newsletter. That’s fine b/c I don’t even remember what it was!

    7. I would expect that, yes, they will refund, BUT, it might take a year! I’m in a similar situation with an insurance payment. The stop payment fee is only 25$ at my bank, but I don’t have great faith in the company to refund in timely manner.

    8. Call the bank and see if they’ll waive the stop payment fee. The mail has been so awful lately, I’m sure they’re getting a lot of these requests.

      And then switch banks and get a real credit card.

    9. High odds of a refund if you pay online. My advice after reading this is get a real bank and a real CC and start paying for things like it’s 2022. It will save you headaches like this.

      2. Her bank seems fine. What problem do you see from them? But yeah, I would get a second credit card to avoid this problem in the future. It’s also helpful when traveling if your card gets lost or stolen — you don’t want to be stuck somewhere with no way to access your credit.

          1. I have accounts at two major banks, and both have stop checks fees. I think they might be 30 or 35, but 40 is ridiculous

        1. This is some financial version of living off the grid. I don’t think anyone who chooses this should be surprised when everyday things turn out to me more difficult this way.

        2. I don’t think it’s odd to only use one card, particularly if it’s a cashback card. It makes sense to concentrate all your purchasing to maximize rewards.

          1. But having that one card be a Discover card is going to create problems. I think just having one card would work if it were a Visa or Mastercard.

          2. One card that’s a visa or MasterCard, sure, but discover isn’t widely accepted so that’s what doesn’t make sense here. It’s the same as only having AmEx.

          3. It may not be odd to only _use_ one card, but to only _have_ one card is also odd. What if your card were frozen due to a fraud alert but you needed to book airline tickets or something? I cannot even imagine. There’s ways to use credit responsibly and not live in the dark ages. Having more than one card or a debit/credit card is a thing.

          4. Yes, you need to have more than one credit card in case one is disabled because of an erroneous fraud alert or actual fraud. One of them needs to be Visa or MasterCard because some merchants accept nothing else. If you prefer to keep all your expenses on one card, you need to use the backup card once in a while to keep the issuer from lowering your credit line or closing the card for inactivity.

          5. Yes most of my purchases are on the card that give me more cash back but my two cards are visa and Mastercard and I don’t know if any business I use that doesn’t accept one of those two. Discover or AMEX are not are widely used.

  7. Yes most of my purchases are on the card that give me more cash back but my two cards are visa and Mastercard and I don’t know if any business I use that doesn’t accept one of those two. Discover or AMEX are not are widely used.

    1. I like oddball stuff so I check Atlas Obscura.
      For daily planning I make a spreadsheet with entries for each day. LifeHacker just did a piece and included some templates.

    2. Thanks for asking, I have the same question. I haven’t taken an international trip in years and it seems like I forgot how to do it!

    3. Google Maps! I save places from recommendations and web browsing. Then I can easily navigate the foreign city. It allows us to wander but also have options. It also gives me a good sense for how places relate to each other geographically (since I don’t have a great sense of direction).

      For cities, I also schedule only one planned activity per day (and maybe one special meal). Then we just wander around the area, referring to my saved Map if needed.

    4. Interesting! If it’s any consolation, I feel the same way — our family of five is headed to Arches and Canyonlands (Utah) at the beginning of April, and this is the first trip we’ve taken in a long time (since Disney circa 2019) that needs actual planning. I did a lot of internet sleuthing and also checked out three (current) guidebooks from the library. I often use TripIt in order to have all of our info in one place — car rental, plane schedule/confirmations, hotel info — but haven’t figured out if I can also use it for excursion confirmations…guessing I can but have not gotten that far yet.

    5. I like to start with searching for “two days in City” (or three or four days, etc) to see what type of sample itineraries come up. This helps me narrow down the must-sees for a particular location.

    6. For me, eater and Instagram. And I do double check any hotel I don’t know on trip advisor.

    7. I start by getting flights and hotels. I use TA and Yelp to narrow down hotels. Tbh I don’t plan activities very closely because I have a kid and we like to keep things flexible, but I will get tickets to anything that has to be booked in advance. I use the Internet more than guidebooks.

    8. I start by googling sample itineraries for the main attractions. I’ll also scroll through top attractions on Trip Advisor or check Instagram.

      I create a Google Maps list for a particular location and save main attractions on that list. That way, I can quickly see where things are in relation to each other and organize my itinerary geographically. I also save restaurants I’m interested in on the Google Maps list. It’s fun to walk out of a museum, see 4 flagged restaurants within half a mile, and choose the ramen bar based on our mood. You can share the list with others in your group too.

      I recommend the website Planapple to organize a complicated itinerary. You can add your flight, hotel, train, rental car information, etc. You can also add restaurants and attractions, and there’s a notes section where you can add your booking/confirmation numbers, cancellation policies, etc.

    9. I love private guides from Tours By Locals dot com so that’s one of my go-to sites. Also I’ve had great tips from the posters here!

    10. My number one tip is research restaurants and star good ones on google maps, especially if you’re in a city. That way you have vetted restaurants and when you’re hungry, you can just go to the closest one you’ve vetted and starred instead of wandering around when hungry trying to find a place everyone can agree on. This strategy has saved me so many bad meals and hangry travel companions.

    11. Trip advisor forums (can be a lot to sort through, but invaluable for certain locations) and guide books (lonely planet is my favorite), assuming you know roughly where you want to go. I’ll also google “X days in [location]” and use those as a rough starting point.

    12. I start with flights, finding what suits me best. Then I look for hotels by combining tripadvisor/preferred chain/booking/hotels dotcom etc. and cross reference with google maps and general searches for neighbourhood.

      I read reviews on tripadvisor etc. looking for things I care about. If the 5 worst review all say “no elevator” I don’t care, but “recent roadworks” or “hard bed”, I do.

      If it’s a city, I check out the public transport, and look at guides like TimeOut for interesting neighbourhoods before I choose area for the hotel.

      For food, I check access to a supermarket in walking distance, and restaurants both nearby and special trips. Searching for the “10 best cocktail bars in Copenhagen” or similar will give a guiding point. Or I guess, “10 inexpensive things to do for children in Copenhagen”.

      I’ll see what guides like lonely planet or rough guide says are the “Do this if you have 3 days, this if you have 7” and do maximum one thing per day of the things I like the most. I don’t need to tick off a list, I want time to sit at a cafe with a book and do a hike.

      I just keep a small notebook in my bag with a list, but may get some tickets in advance for museums with time slots, and one or two restaurant bookings.

  8. I have an older washer (2004?). It was in the basement (on concrete) and then on the first floor on hardwoods with no issues. Then it got moved upstairs, still on hardwoods, and the movers put it in a plastic pan with 2″ sides (sort of like a large more rigid paint train). Concurrently with that, the washing machine runs very rough and started rattling violently and trying to “walk” across the laundry room. Putting it on Delicate Cycle seems to have fixed that, but what is really wrong? Is the tray making it walk? Is it unbalanced internally (e.g., not from the load in it, but its innards maybe shifted around)? IDK who to call about this. The machine seems to work fine otherwise, but it is annoying. Replacing it with a speed queen when it eventually dies, but with supply chain issues, I’d rather figure out and fix the problem and not shorten its life any.

    1. 1. Who puts hardwood floors in a laundry room?
      2. Did the movers secure the tub properly when they moved in upstairs? Our washer has a styrofoam insert that you are supposed to put in the tub to secure it whenever it is moved.

      1. 1. Older houses. They have wood floors, sometimes with linoleum over. Our house has a room (former sleeping porch; house was built before A/C) that was later subdivided into a bathroom and closet for the w/d. Originally, there was no upstairs bathroom.

        2. This is intriguing. I wonder what would happen if they didn’t do the block. Perhaps I already know :/

      3. Um, old homes? Hardwood floors throughout my place, dear. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that.

        1. You should never have hardwood floors in a laundry room in case of a leak. You replace them with something waterproof like tile.

          1. I had a washer on hardwoods and had a leak and it was fine. If you just leave the wood alone and keep it dry, it calms back down and goes back to being flat once it dries over time. Plus, it was under a washing machine, so it wasn’t like it kept us off of the Tour of Homes (we did that all on our own).

            Ditto the dishwasher in our kitchen. And the fridge with the water line to the ice maker.

          2. I would never rip out original hardwood floor in an old house to replace it with tile, yikes.

          3. Or you wait to have a leak and see if you need to replace them. Not exactly high priority. Also, FYI, there are plastic leak trays that you can sit a washer/dryer on top of. No floor replacement needed.

          4. Your comment is awaiting moderation.

            Or you wait to have a leak and see if you need to replace them. Not exactly high priority. Also, FYI, there are plastic leak trays that you can sit a washer -dryer on top of. No floor replacement needed.

          5. Thank goodness the floor police has arrived! Brb, planning a remodel to conform to these specifications.

          6. Tile floors aren’t waterproof either, unless they had waterproofing done beforehand like you would do in a shower (and nobody does this when installing tile in a laundry room!).

          8. Oh let me just tear the perfectly good century old hardwood floors out of my house because Anonymous on the internet doesn’t like them. BRB

          9. Not all of us can afford to just rip out perfectly functional flooring and replace it with (can be expensive, messy to install) tile, Ms. Moneybags. They make leak protection pans for appliances specifically for this reason.

      1. OP here — yes — the floor is level (prior downstairs floor was likely only mostly level, where its new home is legit level). And re lower comment, the machine itself seems level, but I own a level and will check for that later when I get home. It doesn’t wobble when you put things on the washer lit from the dryer, but I see what you’re saying.

        1. Commenter below- ours didn’t obviously feel like it was off balance either, but it doesn’t take much when something is spinning fast. If it’s shaking when spinning, something is off balance and if there’s no obvious internal problem, then it’s definitely worth trying to balance externally.

    3. Is the washing machine itself level, relative to your floors? Our movers did a bad job of installing ours, but we were able to level it out on our own and make it stop shaking.

      1. Yes, this. The feet should twist out and back to adjust. It’s possible that they were adjusted slightly for your concrete floors which may not have been perfectly level. When you get your level out, put it along the bottom edge of the washer on at least two sides to see if it’s actually level.
        Also, check your manual – ours has a couple different things to try for a walking washer. One of them involved putting a thin rug pad under the drain tub – there wasn’t enough friction to stop things from sliding on the wood floors.

        1. This is the first place to start before scheduling a service call. It’s a very easy DIY project. The two front feet (and sometimes the back feet) usually just screw up or down to level the machine so it doesn’t “walk” during the spin cycle. Delicate cycles spin slower, which is probably why that helps.

          Use a level to check whether the machine is out of kilter front-to-back, side-to-side, and on both diagonals. Have a second person help you tilt the machine enough that you can reach the feet and rotate them up or down as needed, repeat until the machine is level in all four directions.

    4. You need to get it leveled, which is hard to do in a pan. You may have to cut the front lip off and reattach it.

  9. Summer travel recs for my extended family? This is harder than it should be, but my parents “want to travel” but don’t actually like traveling. They are mid-70s and of very average health and fitness, others involved are 5 adults ages late 30s-early 50s, and one 10 year old. Mid-range budget. Pretty COVID-cautious thus far (so no cruises). Lots of limitations for various reasons: must be in US, nothing super hot, not Outer Banks or Atlantic beach-focused (just because my parents have a house there), not coastal Maine (just went there but liked it), not a big city. Must go in July-Labor Day window. I think we have waited too late to book some of the more popular national parks at reasonable rates (e.g. Glacier), but parks are ostensibly an interest. We’ve spent a lot of time on the eastern seaboard, and my parents are originally from Ohio. So generally “out west” is of interest, although I’m worried about fires ruining things. I was all set to take us to Nova Scotia but my Dad is worried about getting COVID abroad. So far the PNW is our only other idea.

      1. I was coming to say this! I think I’m planning this trip for myself (and extending on to Yellowstone) for late September. It looks gorgeous.

      2. I thought Badlands, too – it’s been on our list for a while. Average July high temps are in the upper 80s.
        The Oregon coast might be a good option.
        My (large) immediate family just planned a trip and settled on a cabin in the NC mountains. Might not be different enough for your crew.

      3. Probably a bit hotter than we’d like but I do remember the Badlands being amazing ( I made a very quick visit years ago), so maybe I should explore this more. Thanks!

        1. The Badlands are amazing, but they are hot, so you might want to go earlier in July if you can. Also try to avoid the time around Sturgis, unless you’re really into motorcycles. I happened to drive through SD once at that time, and it was certainly memorable!

      4. If you do the Dakotas, make sure that you are not going during Sturgis. Every tourist attraction and highway is a deafening smoky nightmare, you’ll be lucky to get a roach motel for under 500 a night, and every restaurant has nothing but kegs and eggs. Zero stars, would not recommend.

        1. Ha, I just said that he same thing. The important point about this is that Sturgis traffic actually lasts for several weeks, as people tour the area before and after, so you can’t just narrowly avoid the dates and expect traffic to go back down. But as a native midwesterner, I think the Dakotas are really beautiful.

          1. This is such good info y’all; thanks for the heads up!! I’m the poster looking at a mid-to-late Sept. trip to the Badlands — any info on whether the Sturgis visitors will have cleared out (or mostly cleared out) by then?

          2. I think it’s the first week of August, with the bulk of traffic a week before or after, but I’d look it up to be sure. September should be fine- at that point you actually need to start worrying about snow closing mountain passes if you’re going to Yellowstone at the end of the month, though things should probably be open most of the time.

        2. Didn’t Sturgis have one of the largest COVID breakouts too? As you can imagine, the visiting crowd leans anti-vax.

    2. If the PNW is already an idea, maybe the San Juan Islands? Whidbey Island? May be a little out of budget but sonoma coast/napa?

    3. If you like coastal Maine and you’re in Ohio, I’d suggest Door County, WI and Mackinac Island, MI. Both are gorgeous and easy to do COVID-safely with a huge variety of activities for kids and adults.

    4. Can you do an Alaska cruise? I feel like cruises are specifically targeted at the “want to travel but don’t actually like it” people.

      Alternatively, if they liked Maine but would like something different, what about renting a house in Cape Cod or Martha’s Vineyard? (or does “Atlantic beach-focused” mean nothing on the Atlantic ocean?)

    5. I went on a last-minute cross-country road trip last July covering 8,000 miles. We had a camper van so were looking for cooler places in general. I’m in NY so not very heat tolerant.

      A couple ideas:
      – If you don’t want too hot, you should look for higher elevation. I found Santa Fe pretty manageable because it was cool in the mornings and evenings, even though it got pretty hot in the middle of the day.
      – Agree with the person who suggested South Dakota, Badlands are great and there’s lots of touristy things to see around Mount Rushmore.
      – One of my favs was Bridgeport, CA/Mono Lake, CA. This may be difficult to get to flying, but you have access to the much quieter Eastern entrance to Yosemite, nearby is the very cool ghost town Bodie, and it was extremely reasonable temperatures– down to 40F at night in July! Only note is that the driving through mountain passes can be harrowing, though that might just be a me problem. I stayed at Paradise Shores which is a campground but also has some rental units, would highly, highly recommend them. A total hidden gem.

    6. Agree with most of the comments here but I’d lean into your concern about fires and not book anything on the west coast August or after. I didn’t love the badlands but you can check the box and I did love the black hills and devils tower, which aren’t far.

    7. Jackson/Grand Tetons/Yellowstone? I went in August a few years ago and the weather was good, easy to move around and see the sights without having to go off the beaten path (but easy to do more strenuous hiking for those interested). Sonoma/Flagstaff/Grand Canyon could also work, though it would be hotter. Boulder also has a lot to do and easy access to the Rockies.

      1. I did a Grand Teton/Yellowstone trip last summer and while it was amazing, Yellowstone is SO CROWDED. I really disliked pretty much my entire time in Yellowstone, except for when we went deep into the Lamar Valley which is not as touristy. That being said – the car-centric nature of Yellowstone might be more your speed with the older crowd. We also checked out the hot springs in Gardnier, MT which was fun!

        On the other hand, I LOVED Grand Teton – it was my favorite national park (thus far). We mostly did strenuous hikes, but I think there are enough more mild hikes to fill your time. Jackson was very crowded, but we stayed in Victor, Idaho which was much more manageable.

        Based off of how much I loved Grand Teton, my aunt and uncle went in September. They’re early/mid 70s but very fit/mobile and they had a great time.

        All in all, the trip was AMAZING but too crowded for my liking.

      2. You are probably too late to book anything for Glacier or Yellowstone if you want to stay in the park. You might find something if someone cancels, but they book basically a year in advance at this point.

        1. Yeah, I’m the OP and we rejected Glacier partly because while lodging is pretty booked up (completely in the park, maybe possible outside the park), rental cars are also going for over $2700/week in Kalispell. I am so tempted by Grand Teton + Yellowstone but think that ultimately my parents should just go there in September or something; they aren’t limited by school vacation schedules the way we are. And there is going to be some roadwork in Yellowstone this summer that will make the traffic issues worse. Anyway, maybe we should consider Grand Teton alone.

    8. I live with in coastal California for a reason- it’s not warm winters, but because it’s one of the few places where summers are cool. If you really want somewhere cool I’d suggest the west coast. There’s always some chance of wildfire smoke, but that’s true everywhere in the west for half the year now, so if you come in July and stay somewhere right on the ocean, odds are are good it will be okay. Point Reyes, Bodega Bay, San Francisco, Santa Cruz, Monterey, Big Sur, Morro Bay, Cambria, Santa Barbara, LA, San Diego- take your pick depending on how much driving you want to do and if you want to be in a city or outside. With that many people, it sounds like a lot of driving might be hard and you want to go somewhere you can fly directly to?

      1. Having grown up and attended college in LA and San Diego, I can attest that both are HOT in the summer. But it’s a dry heat so it’s not quite so bad.

        1. Our summer is generally August through October, though, so if you go in early July you might be okay. “June Gloom” is definitely still a thing.

        2. Yeah, I should have put more emphasis on the coastal part. I know it’s a lot warmer in LA and SD, but my experience there in the summer has been right on the ocean, and as long as you’re right on the coast, it’s general still fairly cool, especially in the morning and evening, though it heats up pretty fast when you move inland just a little bit. And it’s still nothing like east coast humidity.

    9. Don’t forget about PR or the USVI – they help with the “getting stuck” fear but it’s a totally different vibe than continental beaches!

    10. I’ll make a pitch for the the upper mid-west, specifically Minnesota/Wisconsin/Michigan Upper Peninsula. Granted I live here, but the summer is the best time to visit because it’s actually pretty here then.

      Ideas (pick one! you can’t do all of these :)):
      -Big Airbnb in Northern Minnesota (Mille Lacs Lake or Leach Lake, or one of the many others) right on a lake. Rent jet skis and/or kayaks/paddleboards.
      Big Airbnb in Northern Wisconsin (Minoqua area is nice) right on a lake. Rent jet skis and/or kayaks/paddleboards.
      -Voyagers National Park in Minnesota
      -Apostle Island National Lakeshore in Minnesota
      -Upper Peninsula of Michigan Waterfalls tour/hiking – one day visit Isle Royale National Park
      -Door County, Wisconsin
      -Devils Lake State Park, Wisconsin is beautiful and right by Wisconsin Dells, which is a well-done tourist trap filled with waterparks and roller coasters and restaurants.

      1. I realize a one word response isn’t super helpful. Basically, I was keying off the ten year old. My family went to ski resorts in the summer a couple of times when I was around that age, and it was great. A little town and gondolas/lifts to views for the non adventurous, rafting and hiking for the more-fit.

    12. A few places I would consider:
      Whidbey Island, WA
      Santa Barbara, CA (could also consider other places along Central coast – Pebble Beach, Monterrey, Carmel, Pismo Beach, etc.)
      Balboa Island or Laguna Beach, CA
      Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard

      1. In California, with a 10-year-old, I’d consider San Diego (again, the earlier in the summer the better). I took my son there when he was that age and we had a blast. Also there is a lot of cultural stuff for the oldsters — definitely check out a play at the Old Globe Theater if they are into that kind of thing.

    13. Yellowstone has cute cabins, as does Yosemite. It might be too late to book them but I’d definitely check, especially if your dates are flexible.

      1. My dad is irrationally worried about having to test negative to fly back to the US. I’m trying to point out that no matter where you go on a plane, if you get COVID while you are there, you are going to have to stay put until you are no longer contagious unless you want to be a real jerk and get on a plane with COVID (which he would not). So the only difference in leaving the US is having to take a test and be SURE you don’t have COVID before returning. There are also difficulties with health care – Medicare doesn’t cover people outside the US generally – so they would need travel insurance with medical coverage. Nothing insurmountable but off-putting for the anxious non-traveler.

        1. In the continental US if you were positive for COVID but not super sick you could rent a car and drive home.

          1. That’s what we did when it happened to us, but I have to tell you it was a miserable 22 hour drive home.

    15. I did a Northern California trip in July several years ago and it remains one of my favorite trips ever. We did Napa, Yosemite, and San Francisco. You didn’t say how long you want to be traveling for, but you could just do one or two destinations if you only have a week. Caveat is that this did involve quite a lot of driving, but it was worth it. Yosemite is definitely a top 3 place I’ve ever been.

    16. Off season ski resort? Usually nice little towns with lots of walkable things? I.e. park city utah, sun valley idaho?

  10. Looking for recommendations for a tinted lip balm with SPF and the ability to layer on color. My current go to is Fresh Sugar Lip Balm which I have in a few colors. My primary gripe with Fresh is that it gets soft and mushy with the slightest amount heat. For example, this weekend it was in my purse and the purse was on my lap, and it was getting mushy from that little bit of heat. It’s nearly impossible to carry around in the summer. What’s your go-to for tinted SPF lip balm?

    1. Kiehls buttercream tinted was the only one I could find when I was looking for the same last summer. I have one in each bag now so apparently I love it!

    4. I love Burts Bees. They have a whole scale from ‘pure lip balm’ through ‘tinted lip balm’, ‘lip balm coloured crayons’ to ‘moisturising lipstick’

  11. Please talk to me about wills. My husband and I both did them with LegalZoom around the time we got married (I don’t recall whether before or after). Should we update or do a new one, particularly now that I’m on the deed to the house? I don’t want to rock the boat, it just seems like a prudent thing to do – is there any way for me to do one alone? He adores his sort-of freeloading brother, is there any way to ensure that my part doesn’t go to him? Thank you!

    1. the answers to your questions aren’t something you can get for free from internet strangers. Go to an estate planning attorney, update your docs together, and be glad you crossed a life chore off your list!

    2. Yes, there are ways to ensure that your property does not pass to his brother. But as Cat correctly pointed out, you should go to an estate planning attorney in your area for proper assistance.

    3. See an estate planning attorney but ideally you and your husband should be on the same page regarding beneficiaries for joint property.

    4. LegalZoom is not sufficient. Find a good trust and estates attorney in your area. A good attorney can walk you through what happens with your current plan, and help you identify your wishes.

  12. Where do I buy some luxe towels? Need to upgrade badly and we just wrapped our master bath reno so now is the time.

    Also, if I get white I can bleach them, but I’ve never used bleach. I have this (unsubstantiated?) fear that bleach will linger in the machine and mess up subsequent loads of clothes. Is that a thing?

    1. I have always used bleach on my whites and in my experience, that is not a thing. Also I add washing soda to the bleach load and that really makes them sparkle.

    5. I got towels from Brooklinen for Christmas and I loooooooove them. They’re super fluffy and huge and soft…I have my old towels as “period towels” and they feel so scratchy and thin now compared to the Brooklinen ones. I am officially a convert!

    7. I like the 600g+ ones from Zara Home. I have mix of colors, they all wash well (no stains), didn’t have a reason to bleach the white ones.

    9. I love the towels I recently bought at the Company Store–the Legends Hotel Regal Egyptian Cotton Bath Towels. Also very happy with towels from Garnet Hill. I’ve never heard of bleach lingering in the washer after a load is done.

  13. Any recs for a carpet cleaner/steamer? The other day I looked down and realized we haven’t cleaned our carpets….since we moved into this house 3.5 years ago (please don’t judge me) other than vacuuming. Bonus points if you know of a good steamer that could also be used on shower tile/grout…

    1. I actually much prefer dry cleaning carpets (Kobasan Snow is a miracle), but I’m in a humid climate.

    3. I prefer professional carpet cleaning because the suction is stronger and the carpets dry faster.

  14. Thoughts on Spa*x Perfect Pant, Straight Leg? I’m an apple/oval with a smaller frame.

    1. I’m interested in thoughts on those pants too! I’m narrow hips, petite with short legs, longer torso.

    2. I am sort of straight build (not true apple, but not a very defined waist; aka my waist measurement is larger than expected for my hip and bust size), and I found them very unflattering. Waist runs small IMO – I think better for hourglass or pear shape.

    3. I have the flare version and just ordered the chino. They run very small so I’d size up a couple of sizes if you want to wear with a shirt tucked in. I quite like them, they’re nicely made and flattering on.

  15. Tips for working in an open concept office? Changed jobs during the pandemic and previously had an office. New workplace has long tables/desks that everyone works at. I’m a lawyer FWIW. I’m not feeling prepared to go back to an office at all after fully working from home for two years, but I really don’t know how to handle this open concept environment.

    2. Adversely possess a conference room? All kidding aside, depending on your practice you need a plan for where to take confidential calls.

    3. Honestly, it’s the worst. Pre-COVID, my office was like this. Luckily we were hybrid even then, and I worked from home twice a week. Do you have any say over where you sit? I had an end seat, and my back was to windows. That was hugely helpful in cutting down on visual distractions. Noise cancelling headphones are a must. Do you have lots of access to conference rooms? Before COVID/Zoom, I was one of the few people that used video conference. The good part was that it meant that I could hog a conference room since I did not have a camera at my desk. Check to see if there are etiquette rules for the floor as well.

    4. If you are a lawyer, you need to speak with HR. Your desk/table space needs to not face a high traffic area (e.g. it needs to be in a corner or at the end of a row that people don’t walk past a lot). You need a privacy screen (which is murder on your eyes, even the good ones.) You need a locking cabinet for confidential documents. And you need a conference room to use for confidential conversations and calls. These are non-negotiable ethical responsibilities, even if you work at a hip tech company.

      Noise cancelling headphones or foam earplugs too, for when you do deep work.

      1. Omg no. The advice here sometimes kills me. Do this is plan to get fired for being a prima-donna. Even at “hip tech companies” you can go take private calls in conference rooms. Not every breath you take is privileged. You also can go paperless and avoid all your filing cabinet issues. Good grief.

  16. DH and I are brainstorming small concrete ways to help each other feel appreciated. Stuff for each other than for household or child. like making coffee, foot rub, etc. Almost a daily checklist of small things. Any ideas? Thanks!

    1. My sweet husband backs my car down our long narrow driveway every morning and it’s SO NICE. And before I leave for the day I always say “thank you for moving my car.”

      1. Related – my mom still works part-time and my dad always cleans off her car if it’s icy or snowy.
        He would also do that for other folks at the park-n-ride when he worked, if it had snowed during the day. He’s a good dude.
        My wife and I save silly things on Instagram and share them with each other after dinner.

    2. Say “thank you” whenever your partner does something for you or for the household. Cooking dinner, doing the dishes, taking out the garbage, etc.

      2. This is what we do too. This includes the everyday chores per our standard division, and the random things (taxes, calling repair service) that one of us takes on. It goes a long way.

    3. It’s important to understand each other’s love languages. My husband shows his love for me in acts of service so he often brings me a cup of tea when I’m working, or makes me a cocktail on Friday night.

      I know he appreciates the physical over everything so I make an effort to do things all the way from just brushing my hand across his back when I walk by to hugging to fully grabbing him.

    4. Something I read on Cup of Jo, but it stuck for us as an idea – we do “bodega Santa” and bring the other a little treat when we grocery shop or go to the corner bodega. Just something small we know the other person likes.

    5. We do a rose, a thorn, and a thing we are grateful to the other person for at the end of every day. Sometimes it’s the only chance we get to connect. He also always, always gets me water if I ask, and I bring him tea if I can when he seems stressed.

    6. I set out a coffee cup for my SO a few mornings a week, with a little note. He makes and delivers my lunch a fair amnt as I have a lot of afternoon meetings. Today I got to make his! :)

    7. It will depend on your and DH’s individual likes and preferences, but in my house: Whoever goes to bed last fills the coffee maker and gets it all ready so in the morning if you wake up first, you just have to push the button (or just set it to brew at a set time in the a.m.). We have a little post-it that says “Press Me” and we call this “magic coffee.” My husband gets me flowers every week, which I love because I love flowers (it began as a Valentine’s Day present one year and never stopped). He will make sure a bottle of my favorite wine is chilled in the fridge when he thinks I might want it after a busy week. He fixes me beverages without my asking and makes meals for me when I’m busy working. Writing this up makes me think it’s all about anticipating the other person’s needs or wants, whatever they may be, and acting before they have a chance to. Even things like restocking the TP in the bathroom. Doing a chore that is usually my husband’s is a favorite thing I like to do (like bringing in the trash cans before he has a chance to). I think it’s sweet your husband and you are talking about this together.

  17. I’d appreciate the hive’s suggestions on how to sensitively tell a friend something that may upset her.
    I moved away from my hometown about five years ago. My adult best friend and I have stayed in touch daily with texts and snaps; sometimes calls but rarely. In the last few years, we’ve both gotten divorced and remarried. Both of our new husbands came to the marriage with no previous children and both she and I have two kids from previous marriages. My husband and I had a baby together last year. My girlfriend and her husband started trying for a baby together about the time that my baby was born. Shes been doing all the things- tracking ovulation, temperatures, seeing a fertility specialist. It’s been about 7-8 months and I know she’s bummed each month that she’s not pregnant, although she understands that we’re 40+ and it’s not as easy as the first time we had kids. Well, as you are probably guessing, I just found out I’m pregnant again. Not planned but of course welcomed. With my last baby, she was the first to know within minutes of me finding out. I haven’t told her yet about this one because I realize it’s much more sensitive this time. I know that she will be gracious (because she always is) but I want to make sure I tell her in a way that gives her space to feel all the things she’ll likely feel. I will likely tell her over snap video, which is how we leave each other messages daily, or text. Any suggestions on wording, timing, etc?

    1. This isn’t something I’d snap video, personally. I’m of the mindset that you say exactly what you did here, friends have some news, here it is, know it’s prob hard to hear given that you’re trying too. I get that and if you need space, I’ll give it to you. Tell me if I go overboard on the baby stuff, okay? Have a real conversation.

      1. I like all this and would add that when I was going through these difficulties, I appreciated receiving the news via text or email so I could process it alone for a moment before having to respond.

        1. +2

          highly recommend this – kind to set her up to be able to process conflicting emotions for a minute.

        2. Genuine question, I like this idea in theory but how do you avoid it getting read at a bad time. I’ve personally gotten terrible news over text and email at awful times (like in the middle of a meeting where I glance at my phone) and trying to control my emotions then seems worse than saying something live when you at least know there isn’t something else going on? Yes, no?

          2. I was the poster above who prefers text or email for this. Others might have a better solution, but I’d just say to send it at a time when you’re reasonably expecting she won’t have something going on. Having said that, I’ve received bad news at a bad time (right before a big meeting), and it wasn’t fun, but I still preferred the electronic delivery to a phone call because I found it doable to tamp the sad feelings down and be professional for an hour. It’s more difficult for me personally to pretend to be happy verbally or in person in that situation.

          4. no, worse, bc it’s easier to control your emotions in a meeting than mustering the strength to react with only the positive emotions on the spot to the person sharing the news.

          5. I would send it not-during-the-workday and probably during a text conversation when I’ve already established that the friend is okay that day

        3. Yes, I’m grateful that when my cousin and one of my close female friends got pregnant without trying while I was smack in the middle of two years of fertility treatments, I found out via text or email and not live in person or on a video call. I was happy for them both but it took some mental processing time to be able to express that.

        4. +1 suggest sending a text first so she can prepare herself for a subsequent conversation. Signed, someone who went through 3 years of infertility and 3 rounds of IVF.

  18. My office has moved to jeans and I’m struggling to find nice blouses that don’t have to be tucked in. I’m a busty 12, so anything with buttons likely won’t work. Also, how do you all store your jeans for easy perusal? I currently have them folded up on a shelf, but now that I’m reaching for them everyday I’m struggling to easily find the pair of jeans I’m looking for. Do you all hang your jeans up or just have a better system for organization?

    2. Loft has a lot of flowy blouses without buttons that don’t need to be tucked. I believe they are having a 50% off 3 items sale, which brings their stuff into the price range I’d pay for it. I have to say that most of the tops I get from them are decent quality.

      I’m a 32DD and find that a Small works for the flowy blouses, but I size up to a Medium for t- shirts to have them be a little loose.

      Banana Republic Factory was another place I used to get nice tops from, although I haven’t shopped there as much recently.

    3. I have a three drawer dresser and the bottom drawer is all jeans folded in fourths. It’s not hard to sort them out because they’re basically all the same style of jeans, and the ones I like to wear tend to be on top unless we are getting close to laundry day.

  19. Anyone in DC feeling…a little worried? DH and I were talking about where to go and when if things get a little to scary out here. We dont have family or friends outside of DC and would need to drive for days to get to family in the midwest. Thoughts? What are you planning?

      1. I feel like there is nothing that the Beltway can’t defeat. It is the sort of road where I’m glad there isn’t a blood pressure cuff on my arm whenever I need to drive on it.

        1. Haha true! Also is it just me or are the lanes unusually narrow on 395 between Alexandria and Pentagon City?

    2. About a Russian invasion? I’m much more worried about that living in Alaska.

      I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Although, that said, this is a very good essay about Ukraine right before the actual invasion when nobody thought anything would happen. But there were literally troops and tanks at the border, so quite different from DC. https://www.nybooks.com/articles/2022/03/24/ukraine-on-the-brink/

    3. You should have an emergency plan in place, but that’s just good sense no matter where you live. We don’t ever let the car get below a half-tank of gas now, and we have decent-ish food stores in the basement. But I lived here during anthrax/the sniper shootings and the culture of fear was way more intense than it is now.

      1. Oh wow, the sniper! That was a time. And it was just a year after 9-11, wasn’t it?

        I feel like if it comes to nukes, sure, DC could be a target. On the other hand it would make a lot more sense to take out our missiles first, which War Games and The Day After tell me are mostly located in Colorado and the Dakotas, so I don’t know where you could be that would be “safe.”

        Re: Beltway – I was having some blood pressure issues in 2019. In February 2020 I went off the Pill and then in March, stopped driving to work. No BP issues, and I’m not sure which variable to credit.

          1. I’m sure it does, but I doubt they’d be any good against today’s nukes

    5. I am genuinely confused and perhaps negligent in keeping up with domestic news. What is going on in DC right now?

    6. You can chill. I live right next to Ukraine and the only thing I am worried about is the economic impact of Putin’s madness on Europe (especially Eastern Europe) and my 140+ colleagues trapped in Ukraine.
      Russia’s gold reserves are dwindling, the country’s economy is a mess and Russia showed us they don’t have enough manpower to defeat Ukraine, let alone start war with NATO.

      1. I hope they don’t have enough manpower to defeat Ukraine but it looks like they are slowly destroying the entire country, or at least all the cities. I think Russia definitely isn’t defeating Ukraine as quickly as they expected but it seems like they slowly defeating Ukraine. I’m also slightly worried about a full on war with Russia and definitely concerned economy taking a massive hit. I’m already expecting the price of everything to increase due to shipping costs.

        1. Encircling is what you do when you can’t win but just want to menace. Berlin Airlift 2.0 but further east? I’d sign up.

    7. DC here. I’m taking a fatalistic approach – unusual for me. If the worst happens, we all just die. There isn’t much planning that can be done for that.

      1. I’m not in DC but I think all of us feel some existential dread right now. I’m the same – there is absolutely nothing I can do about this.

  20. My neighbor who is all about the signs has a new one: “Privileged? Work for Justice!” She is the sort of SAHM that always has some sign up and yet has drivers to drive her kids to their events, delivery of all sorts for meals, housekeepers, someone to hose out her trash bins, someone to pick up dog poop in the yard, etc. [So I have to hunt for parking often when I get home from work.] Only drives huge SUVs (* 4 drivers in the house; 2 kids don’t drive yet).

    What does she want us to do now? I am assuming that she’s paying people on the books, withholding taxes so workers can get SSI when they are old and medicare, and generously tipping the 1099 workers and buying carbon offsets. If not, would it be wrong of me to spin the sign so that she sees it?

    1. Haha! Vent on this site and then ignore her. She’s not worth it and has too much time on her hands clearly, but her heart in the right place?

      1. I’m not one to lecture neighbors or through traffic on what they ought to be doing better in their lives.

        Some areas have so many signs that it’s like warning lables on bottles and they all just cancel each other out. But if it’s a lone sign where people don’t otherwise have signs in their yards, I do see that as a bit of finger wagging at people, which doesn’t seem very neighborly.

        It’s not the same as having a sign for free hugs or “I can help your teens with math” or promoting a 5K or whatever.

        1. I see lots of social justice type signs on small street where a major Fox network poobah lives. I like the poking the bear aspect.

    2. How about inviting her for coffee and sincerely asking her about the meaning of the sign? Either she’ll be as awful as you assume she is and you’ll be vindicated and can spin her signs with impunity, or you’ll get to know her as an actual person and maybe find some common ground.

    3. Just ignore her. Doing anything snarky is not going to have the impact you think it will.

    4. She puts out the signs to make her feel better about her own life. They have nothing to do with you and you should ignore them because they’re worth exactly the paper they’re printed on.

    5. You’re still driving a car and killing the planet. Don’t think this doesn’t apply to you. Clearly it does. Work for Justice!, whatever that means.

      I feel like some people vague-book via their yard signs.

    7. Honestly I wonder if your neighbor is my cousin she’s an insufferable SAHM who doesn’t do anything but virtue signal. I just ignore.

    8. I have one of those neighbors and I just vent to a friend and roll my eyes. Also in my neighborhood, the people with the “in this house we believe…” signs are the same ones that flip out over any potential zoning change, no matter how small or positive.

      1. If it’s change, it’s not historically appropriate to the neighborhood. Just call those ADUs “staff quarters” and then it would be reassuringly familiar to that crowd.

      2. A-MEN! The limousine liberal NIMBYs in my town drive me up the effing wall. Biggest bunch of hypocrites I’ve ever met.

        1. Some things that really need to get done in my town are being completely stymied by the more-liberal-than-thou crowd and it’s very irritating.

          Several multifamily development projects have been halted or delayed for endless fights over the number of affordable units, various dubious environmental concerns, etc. Basically, the approval process is almost impossible for anything other than a spec house built after a teardown. There’s no rule permitting AirBnB, but there isn’t any penalty for doing it, so we lose out on the revenue while people wring their hands over losing housing to short-term rentals.

    9. Maybe she is working/volunteering for justice and sees hiring so many people as a way to contribute to the local economy? You could certainly argue that giving someone a steady long-term job does more good than making donations to non-profits with a lot of overhead. Who knows. I personally don’t really comprehend that level of wealth, but the sign doesn’t really bother me.

      1. Nonprofit overhead is a myth. Overhead means things like keeping the lights on and rent paid, plus having a bookkeeper or HR, functioning things any organization or company needs.

        1. Hear hear! And the work of different non-profits requires different levels of “overhead.” So those comparison charts are garbage because they don’t take the “nuance” of mission and execution of mission into account.

        3. I worked at a non-profit and many of my friends do. There is a lot of money that goes to employing a lot of white-collar workers, providing benefits to them, marketing of the organization, conferences, professional development, etc. I personally found the amount of money that went just to the bureaucracy of the organization to be really eye-opening (especially in the gov’t grant funded international development arena). This is a real and valid critique of a pretty massive industry.

          1. overhead minimization in non-profits is a perverse incentive akin to maximizing shareholder revenue in publicly traded companies. It’s the excuse to exploit workers.

        4. +100

          As a former non profit employee, I”m very suspicious of non profits with low overhead; it probably means their employees are not being treated right or paid well…

      2. It sounds like this woman is running her own personal build-back-better program, but is channeling her own Kim Kardashian b/c you’re not doing your share.

        The devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder.

        2. hahaha! Good one….Kris Jenner does work harder! If only we all had a momager like Kris Jenner!

  21. Does the service exist where you pay someone to walk through your house and give you ideas how to update it superficially? Fingers crossed, I’ve got an offer accepted on a house, but it was updated last in 2003, so I want to make changes to bring it to 2022 but without ripping out serviceable kitchen cabinets, granite countertops etc. I’m moving to NYC suburbs from the city.

    2. Can you talk to a realtor / home stager? I feel like this is just what they do for homes they are listing for sale. Maybe ask for referrals now that the offer is in and you should be able to take a person through the space (or your realtor can)? Offer to pay maybe the most-recommended person for their time and to make a proposal for fixes for whatever budget you have for this.

        1. This is what I was going to suggest. The entire purpose of home stagers is to work with the existing “bones” to make the house look as updated & fresh as possible!

    3. I think the right interior designer should be able to help with this – let them know what you’re willing to do and your budget, and they can help come up with a plan. There’s a lot you can do with paint, hardware, etc.

  22. Quick follow up for anyone interested in my COVID drama. I’d posted last week about my 9 year old getting sick the day we found out her best friend/classmate [school just unmasked] had just tested positive for COVID, and my MIL was flying in.

    Kiddo had a 24 hour stomach bug, not COVID. Fully recovered by Saturday AM after puking all Friday morning, was COVID tested daily including today. Gets PCR tested again at school tomorrow. Fingers still crossed but nobody else in the house has gotten the stomach bug, either.

  23. My inlaws decided they are moving to our town. They are extremely overbearing and my MIL is extremely manipulative, lies, and lashes out at people who confront her about her behavior. Several close relationships (sister, cousin, other friends, etc) have ended extremely poorly. We used to live in the same city as them when my daughter was born. We had several issues including them both lying, lashing out when confronted about lying, saying very hurtful things about me, my parents, and my husband. When my daughter was 1 one we moved to my hometown and typically only see them twice a year or so. Those visits go reasonably well but we are very happy for them to be over.

    I’m freaking out about this move. They know no one in our city except us. They don’t like our city and regularly complain about it. They haven’t been here for more than a week at a time. My husband told them he thought it was not a good idea to buy a place here and suggested getting a short term rental for a bit to see if they even like it. but they are now under contract for a condo.

    My daughters are now 4 and 6 years old. They love inlaws and are excited for them to be here. I’m just very fearful about them being in our space all the time, wanting to see the girls or be over too much for what we can handle, and that there will be a huge blow up fight if we try to set any boundaries. What can I do? My husband feels the same way but doesn’t care if the boundaries we set upset his parents.

    3. I would be freaking out too, but your husband has the right idea (and it’s great that this his outlook). Look into DBT workshops if you can; I’m forever grateful for the one I attended. Boundaries, gray rock method, etc. do work, but it’s helpful to sort of “get permission” from an expert as well as to have exact phrasing to draw on.

      1. I was going to say gray rock. oP you can look that up but it’s basically giving them minimal information to criticize you about and not letting them get to you. Easier said than done, I know.

      2. I had never heard of DBT or the gray rock method. Thank you for suggesting/mentioning these.

    4. I think your husband is more or less correct. You can only control your own actions/boundaries. Set your boundaries and communicate them as calmly/politely as possible and stick to them. Their reactions are out of your control.

    5. Brace for the fight, set the boundaries and set some more boundaries. You know you don’t want these people in your house and your life very much. And frankly, they should NOT be at your house very much. They have their own house. You are not obligated to entertain them or be their best friends no matter what they say.
      Set the boundaries now, blame your busy schedule on the minimal times you can host them at your house and minimal times you can hang out at their house and minimal times you can meet them at a fun location. I’d try to prioritize meeting them for meals at a restaurant over letting them visit honestly. Better behavior and more difficult for them to overstay their welcome in public place, plus they get to see more of the city (if you need a selling point for this idea).

    7. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page about your boundaries (it sounds like you are, or close) and then enforce them. Don’t give them keys, put them on an information diet. If they blow up, that’s on them. Let them be nasty and miserable and don’t give them your headspace (easier said than done, I know)

      1. They are going to want keys. They are going to lure you with free childcare. They are going to want to know when and where the kids do extracurricular activities. They are going to want your recs for doctors, restaurants, grocery stores and run into you all the time.
        You really need to be prepared for this. And practice deflection too. Good luck!

        1. As a regular reader of AITA, do not, under any circumstances, give them their own key to your house.

    8. Man, this sucks. I agree with the others – come up with your boundaries with your husband now, and then enforce them. Still sucks, but there’s nothing else you can do.

      You’ve listed a lot of their bad behavior towards adults. How do you feel about them with your kids without you there? If they are good grandparents but crappy otherwise, dropping the kids off at their condo for a visit once a week while you and your husband go out could work.

    9. This sounds really hard. In the plus column, they’re your husband’s parents and he doesn’t care if they get upset, so it sounds like he is happy to lay down the law and do the hard work of enforcing it.

      The only thing I can think of is that if they are better behaved in public and trustworthy they take the kids to the park for an hour or so. They won’t be in your space, the kids can spend time with them, and you don’t have to.

    10. This sounds awful but I think it’s great that you and your husband have the same point of view and can be a united front. Otherwise this would get very messy.

    11. Maybe it’s too bold but in this situation I think you might save yourself (and them, in a way) a lot of grief to just tell them, point blank, that y’all have been happy with the status quo and don’t desire the level of closeness of living in the same city. Sounds like they don’t have a tie to the city except for you/your immediate family

      1. Yeah I agree with this. Husband can have a convo NOW saying before you make this big change and investment I want to be very clear about what everyone is expecting if you make this move … if he does that, maybe it creates a huge blowup and they don’t move or maybe they move anyway and he just keeps enforcing that boundary but at least they can’t say he didn’t warn them. Good luck. This sounds hard.

  24. Hello! I’ve completed an initial consultation with MacLynn Matchmaking in the US, which is partnered with Vida Matchmaking for ex-US matchmaking. Does anyone here have any experience with either of these services? Or, maybe experience with a matchmaker that you’d recommend, either for or against? This is a sizeable financial investment; I’d like more to go on that their sales pitch.

    1. I have nothing to offer but I would love to hear about your experience as you go along if you pull the trigger.

    2. I don’t know those services, but I wouldn’t waste your money. When my husband was online (how we met), he said most of the women who contacted him were matchmakers. He agreed to go on a date once (so not a ton of anecdata) and said there was almost no thought put into the match. He figured perhaps they would lead him to someone great and was open to the idea. Long story short, the matchmaker pool appears to be the same one you can access for free (or for the site fee), and you probably know best what you’re looking for.

    3. I don’t know those services, but I wouldn’t waste your money. When my husband was online, which is how we met, he said most of the women who contacted him were matchmakers. He agreed to go on a date once and said there was almost no thought put into the match. He figured perhaps they would lead him to someone great and was open to the idea. Long story short, the matchmaker pool appears to be the same one you can access for free or for the site fee, and you probably know best what you’re looking for.

    4. I considered using a matchmaker, but ultimately decided not to after reading online reviews that were not great. Assuming you’ve already done that, definitely ask them to connect you with former clients (more than one – the place that I was considering apparently trotted out the same woman as a reference to everyone). This is a service you’re considering hiring, so you should check their references.

  25. Recs for a slip on high-ish top sneaker under $100? I think this is what I need to transition from boots in the wet, still cold spring where I live. I have a wider toe box. Thanks!

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