ByKat Hours Updated
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Coffee Break: Alexis Barrel Satchel

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Ivanka Trump Alexis Barrel SatchelIn general, I never, ever wear this color of bag — but I know some women who wear this approximately 400% more than they wear a black bag, so I thought I'd pick it for today's Coffee Break. (It also comes in a lovely navy, though, as well as a white.) I like the cognac leather mixed with the beige, almost tweed-y fabric, and I like the ring accents. It's on a pretty good sale, too: it was $150, but is now marked to $89 at 6pm. Ivanka Trump Alexis Barrel Satchel (L-2)

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

151 Comments

  1. I have finally admitted to myself that I am not fitting into all of my pre-baby suits, even though I am back to my pre-baby weight (which is a subject for a whole other thread). I’m selling one on ebay if anyone is looking for a nice j.crew summer suit (wool crepe, size 8).

    http://www.ebay.com/itm/300908855189

    1. Just curious — now that you are back to pre-baby weight, do you find that other bottoms (i.e., regular pants, jeans, shorts, skirts, etc.) still mostly fit, just not suit pants? That seems to be my dilemma. I am trying to figure out what about the suit pants is different from my regular pants. Because like you, I am back to pre-baby weight but cannot comfortably fit into my suits anymore. I can wear lot of pre-baby clothes, but not suits. And now I can’t seem to find suits that fit me properly.

      1. I’m having the same issue – almost back to pre-baby weight (5lbs anyway) but almost none of my pre-baby pants fit. Sigh. Suits though are especially a problem – well even jackets, it’s like my whole torso just widened. I don’t seem to have the same problem with other skirts and dresses, but I just took a deep breath and bought a couple more jackets and pairs of pants. But I don’t see, either, why my suits seemed to take the brunt of my body change woes.

      2. Yes, this exactly. Most of my suit pants don’t fit anymore. My hips/thighs are just a smidge too wide. But my jeans and cords still fit. I don’t understand it but there must be something about the fabric and tailoring. Most of my skirt suits fit, except for my very skinniest size 8 ones (like the one I’m selling). I might just give up on pants entirely. They were hard enough before having a baby, and it seems almost impossible now. I think what I’d have to do is go a full size up (which definitely looks too big) and have them taken in.

        1. Yeah I’m having the same problem in that sizing up doesn’t always fix the weird fit issues. It’s like my body is a different shape. I feel like I am going to have to find new brands of clothes that will work for me nw – and I definitely don’t have the time or energy for that with a seven month old, lol.

  2. Help me! My daily wardrobe has devolved into yoga pants and 4 year old shirts/shorts. I work from home, have one kid (age 1), occasionally travel to client sites. I sometimes have casual social outings, or play-date type functions. Weekends usually involve outdoor activities and hanging out with the husband and kidlet. I feel like I need a new wardrobe and a lot of pieces that will do double duty. What kinds of things would you buy and what quantity? I want to look cute but appropriate for various situations!

    1. What sort of industry do you work in? Depending on the answer to that, it may be hard to find pieces that do double duty in the client visit and work from home/social outings department, aside from some pretty blouses.

    2. I’ve recently been working on updating my wardrobe – I had a lot of stuff from my first internship 10 years ago that I keep because, well, it fits. A few pieces I would suggest you add are: a blazer (2 if you can, one a navy or other neutral and a more colorful fun one), nice dark wash jeans, colorful ankle pants that are currently in vogue, a tweed skirt, and a sheath dress. Also new shoes and accessories to add versatility.

    4. Start by making yourself a simple rule: yoga pants are only for exercising or wearing to bed at night. Any time you were tempted to wear yoga pants, put on a pair of jeans instead (as long as they are not mom jeans). Now, put on any cute top — by which I mean anything other than a plain t-shirt. You’ve just upgraded your look significantly, but are still appropriately dressed for a casual social event, a play-date, or outdoor activity with husband and kids. That’s not to say you can’t do even better than this, but these are easy swaps to make to at least get a start on feeling more put together.

      1. I actually live in and feel put together in plain, solid V neck tees and racer back tank tops. As someone with a short waist, broad shoulders and a large chest, I find them to be the most flattering. I wear jeans a lot, but also colored or printed bottoms. I dress up my outfits with belts, scarves and costume jewelry. And in cooler weather with cardigans/blazers/jackets.

      2. At home and running casual errands, I live in Old Navy cotton henleys and v-necks. They’re the most flattering on me but they’re so cheap that when I inevitably stain them either with food or something kid-related, I don’t feel bad about it. Just add jeans, an interesting necklace or earrings, and comfy sandals/Toms/Sperrys, and that’s my weekend uniform.

    5. Dresses made of some kind of jersey or ponte-knit. Printed so you can hide the inevitable stains and machine washable because who has time for dry-cleaning? Maybe 3-4 dresses?

          3. If you have a Talbots outlet near you, they’re doing 50% off of everything this weekend.

    6. Is Justice League of America or Captain America PJs not an acceptable alternative?

      If it were me – the items that do the most double duty in my wardrobe are: skirts that air on the casual side of business casual (polka dotted a-line skirts for example, or a knit skirt), blousy button down shirts (in a silk blend or a poly blend), blazers (in a funky color or a navy – something comfy), jeans with a lot of stretch (Jag jeans are great), ponte knit dresses – especially if they have long sleeves, knee high boots (I have oxblood ones) and casual flats (I just got a great pair with a slight wedge from DSW that are Hush Puppies).

      I think the key is to pick a general color schema (I stick with mostly berry tones and navy) and then buy items that will all sort of go together, with a few bursts of color (coral and turquoise for me.) Also – jewelry is a great way to take an okay outfit and dress it up to a nice outfit.

      If you’d like me to help you out with shopping for some fun new workhorse items for your casual/work from home/going out with friends wardrobe, feel free to submit a question to the bloggy blog. :-P

    7. Ponte knit pants are comfy and in style right now. Ankle length colored pants. Dark wash straight leg jeans with flats and a nice fitting top will work well. As will washable dresses from Boden. Don’t wear yoga pants unless you are lounging or on the weekend. Perking up your wardrobe will help put you in a better mindset for work.

    8. I work in the software industry (casual) but often with retail clients (more fashionable). I have a few things that I like: 2-3 prs of dark wash jeans, 1 gray work dress, a black suit and neutral blazers.

      Here is what I am thinking: 4-5 cute shirts that aren’t plain, 1-2 dressy casual skirts, 1 boden-style dress, nice sandals, nice flats, 1 pr of colored pants, maybe a colorful blazer and a really nice medium-sized handbag. Preferably coordinating colors so I can mix and match.

      1. I have two of these. They’re super comfy and I love them, BUT how do you deal with the overlap of fabric? I feel like with the fabric from foldover and from my top I look kind of like I’m wearing a flotation device under my clothes. I already have big hips, I don’t need them enhanced.

        Also, if you’re bigger on bottom than on top, it’s hard to find jersey dresses that fit, although jersey skirts work great.

        1. You can roll the waist less so the band is not as big or wear the band higher on your waist

      2. I was also going to recommend skirts like these – cheap, as comfy as yoga pants, but look like you’re at least making a little bit more of an effort. I live in knee length loose skirts on the weekends in the summer/fall since I hate shorts. They are also available in maxi length if you prefer that look – but its not one that suits me.

    11. I love split skirts & skirts for that reason, and casual tops with some sort of jacket over them.

  3. I love this color with all my heart, and I love this bag in particular. I think this is the most versatile color of purse out there. I wear mine with black, brown, and everything else too.

    1. I love this sachel bag too, but my Dad bought me a big LIT bag that I carry EVERYTHING in, especialy my clotheing that I must wear in court and an extra set of pump’s, in addition to all of the court breif’s and other book’s and my makeup kit. So while I love KAT’s choice, I will not purchase one. Beside’s, the manageing partner will NOT reimburse for satchel’s, b/c he say’s they are NOT clotheing. I will NOT argue, b/c he DOES reimburse for shoe’s and belt’s. YAY!!!!! Fooey on dad, b/c sometimes he calls me sachel ass. FOOEY!

      Philip sent a text message sayeing that he is interested in meeting again and that he would like to try my chicken. Ed must have told him about the chicken. I hope he did NOT say that it was good (or bad) b/c I do NOT like the taste yet. For now, I have to try again with Mom and see if she make’s it any better. If it is GOOD tasteing, I then will take it, put it in my FREEZER, then thaw it out the day that Philip come’s OVER! YAY!!!!

      I am NOT a cook, but MUST make Philip think I am a good cook and home maker. I will have to inveite him over on the day that my cleaneing lady come’s so the place look’s good. I will also have my cleaneing lady wash the window’s on the apartement b/c I face the avenue, and there is alot of schumutz on the window even tho I am on the 29rd floor. If onley dad had bought me a place on the 35th floor, I do NOT think I would have this probelem. FOOEY! But at least I have a good view of the EAST River and the Airport plane’s takeing off. YAY!!!!!!

        1. Doesn’t seem like the greatest way to impress a date with your homemaking skills, does it? Might as well feed him Stouffer’s.

    2. This bag is beautiful – it would be great for summer and would actually go with more of my clothes than my black bag. I have a hobo bag in this same color and I adore it. And the stripes are fun additions. Darn spending siesta.

  4. Someone asked this late in an earlier thread, and I’m very interested in the responses (just graduated, have some time to kill before bar studying begins). What are your favorite TED talks?

    Mine (currently) is this fantastic talk by Elaine Lui (of LaineyGossip) on the intellectual value of celebrity gossip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFDWOXV6iEM

    1. Brene Browns talks (listen to the Ted Houston one first, then the more recent one)
      Matt Killingsworth – Want to be happier? Stay in the moment.
      James Stavridis: A Navy Admiral’s thoughts on global security
      Colin Powell: Kids need structure
      Danny Hillis: The internet could crash. We need a plan B.
      Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship.
      Ron Finley: A guerilla gardener in South Central LA
      Hyeonseo Lee: My escape from North Korea

      1. Amy Cuddy’s power body language. It is so moving and she is absolutely amazing.

        1. +1 for Amy Cuddy’s power body language. I wanted to send it to every one of my friends right after I watched it.

  5. So I came back from my (Absolutely amazing!) holiday to find out that my entire team is being put through the wringer with disciplinary hearings and mandatory performance management plans because the Upper Management has gone through everything with a fine/tooth comb and needs a scapegoat. So that’s us.

    I need a new vacation. ~sigh~

    1. Ugh! That sucks. Have some of your vacation photos printed so you can mentally bring yourself back to the happy place?

      1. tempting… I don’t know where I’d put them, though, since they have made us hot-desk :(

        1. Can you save them to your phone so you can scroll through when you need a quick break?

      2. I don’t work for the IRS but know someone who does. The most infuriating part of that whole debacle is it is a very small department involved with the alleged misconduct. Unfortunatly, it is painting the whole agency with a broad brush and really having a negative impact on morale – particularly with the furloughs starting this week. It might come as a surprise to many, but lots of IRS employees are republicans and equally enraged at the allegations.

  6. FWIW, I have checked out another Ivanka Trump Barrel Satchel in Tj Maxx/Marshalls, and the long strap is not long enough to carry it cross-body. It’s long enough to wear under one arm, but not across your torso.

  7. TJ related to negotiating a new job while pregnant

    Ladies, I just received an offer for a new job..and I also, a couple of weeks ago received news that I’m pregnant!! I’m trying to figure out what to pay attention to in my offer and pointers would be appreciated.

    Salary and signing bonus are higher than the range I gave to start, so no need to negotiate there.

    The benefits pkg doesn’t mention maternity leave but does include discussion of short term disability. Does anyone know if this is the same thing? I also can’t find any info on when I become eligible for it…is there a standard period most companies have (this is a huge multinational corporation if that matters)?

    They have a dependent care account.

    Anything else I need to look out for?

    My recruiter knows since I had to ask abt benefits, but she suggested that I don’t need to disclose right now. since I have to give notice and relocate, I likely will be entering my second trimester just as I start…not sure when it makes sense to disclose but I have a history of m/c so I don’t want to jump the gun (I’m barely allowing myself to accept the pregnancy). DH and I are LD, so I pretty much have to move so that we can bring baby (fingers crossed) into a home together…and my salary would be tough to live on and he’s had zero luck where I am.

    Any advice would be appreciated!!

    1. All I know is that my company does a separate maternity leave on top of short term disability. So you take short term disability for like 8 weeks or something, and then you have maternity leave on top of that (which is paid more than Short term disability). The length of the maternity leave is 4-8 weeks and it depends on how long you’ve been at the company. So yes I think the maternity leave is different from short term disability.

    2. Congrats! You’re not going to be eligible for FMLA leave, so see what type of unpaid leave might be applicable. I know my law firm provides 8 weeks of paid leave if you have not been at the firm for a calendar year (and 12 weeks if you have), so maybe check and see if there is paid leave in addition to STD. Some states also have mini-FMLA laws, so I would check to see if that applies to you.

      1. Legally the company isn’t required to give you FMLA (1 year minimum unless your state has requires it sooner) but many companies are willing to grant time off for maternity (although it may not be paid). If you’re happy with salary, what about PTO? I kick myself that I didn’t try to negotiate for more PTO, at least close to what I had worked my way up to at my last job. Don’t forget you’ll need time for dr appts, etc.

        Regarding benefits – you may want to ask the cost of insurance and the deductible, as the employee cost can vary pretty widely from company to company, or from single to 2 person to family – it doesn’t matter if the salary is higher than you are earning if the increase is eaten up by higher insurance costs.

        What about relocation? Will they pay moving costs? Can’t hurt to ask.

        Congrats on the new job and new baby!

        1. Absolutely remember that you’ll need time for doc appts–a couple for yourself & a ton for your baby, even if it’s just well-baby checkups.
          Fantastic that you’ll have a parenting partner.

    3. I’d still ask if there was room to move for salary. The worst they can say is no.

    4. I started a new job at a large Fortune 500 company when I was 7 months pregnant. They had a short term disability policy that provided 6 weeks for standard delivery and 8 weeks for a c section. Anything else was either PTO or unpaid leave. It wasn’t the best but at leat the job was more flexible than the law firm I left. I told at 5 months when I was interviewing because it was obvious by that point but everyone was really great about it. They should able to tell you the insurance cost and deductible information as part of your benefits package.

  8. Random Q – I got a linked in request from an alum of my school who graduated around when I did, but I don’t recall ever meeting, including a note saying it would be nice to connect. I accepted. Immediately after, he sent me a LI message saying it would be nice to connect and hear what I’m up to. I’m at work so I didn’t respond. He just emailed me at my personal address saying it would be nice to connect, get coffee/drinks this week and hear what I’m up to.

    Am I crazy to be creeped out? Is this overkill? For some reason this is setting my spidey sense tingling but I have no idea why. He might be just overeager and trying to network, but does this seem kind of aggressive to you guys too? How would you respond? I went to a small school and am eager to help out grads but am a bit put off.

    1. Yup, way too agressive. I would either not respond, or say “hello x. this is a very busy time for me in my area, but I’d be happy to answer any questions about my field by email.” this puts him on notice if what he really wants is a date.

    2. That would send off weird vibes for me too. It all seems innocuous enough; and maybe he is an uber networker/social media user (which I am not).

      You have no obligation to respond right away. I might wait a bit, check with classmates, and set up a meet only if you have time/desire to do so.

    3. Some people are using LinkedIn to find dates. Maybe he thinks you are cute and wants to grab coffee for prospective dating purposes, not networking purposes. It sounds like he is trying to make a date and trying to make clear through his over eagerness it is not to just network.

    4. do you happen to have your personal email connected to your LI account? this happened to me once and it turned out it was just 1 message the guy sent, but LI sent it in basically every format.

  9. I just received the purse/gargantuan bag I purchased via the Kate Spade sale last week. While I knew the measurements when I ordered, it is just so much bigger than I was expecting. I’m having a little buyer’s remorse. Of course, it is final sale so I can’t return it. The bag that Kat featured is pretty big, too, and I was wondering, collective mind, at what point does a lady look ridiculous carrying a big purse/bag? Mine will fit a legal sized redwell file, though I had no intention of using it as a work bag! Or alternatively, does anyone know if Kate Spade is strict about the no returns on final sale policy?

    1. I’ve sweet talked someone into making an exception for me. It’s worth a try!

    2. Are you using it as a purse or a work bag? I have a Brahmin weekend bag I use as my trial bag. It is the same size as the men’s trial bags. I wouldn’t use it as a purse but I feel perfectly fine using it for litigation matters.

      1. If you like everything but the size, I would still petition for keeping it. A large bag can be invaluable at times– I have a huge Marc Jacobs bag (Francesca) that seems much too big for day to day, but it has been fantastic when traveling in addition to my carry-on. I use it during every vacation, weekend at the parents, day trip, going to be somewhere for a day and have a lot of crap to bring with me day. Yes, it’s not in as heavy a rotation as others and I wouldn’t go everywhere around town with it most days. But wow is it fantastic when I do hit those weird must.have.everything.with.me times. In some ways, it’s better than most of my other “alternate” purses because it fills this special need.

        1. Back in the day, I used one of those woven straw bags. I’d toss in swimsuit, mini sundress, tank top & a couple cosmetics and be good to go for a weekend out of town.

  10. I’m new and apparently at my law firm it’s normal to request vacation days and if you get no response just assume you’ve been approved and go. Is this common practice? I’m so paranoid I imagine laying on the beach somewhere fretting the whole time that I didn’t really have permission.

    1. I’m in-house now, but this is what I do (and what I did when I was at a firm):

      Send email to supervisor (GC or practice group leader/supervising partner) letting them know about dates (generally several weeks in advance). Copy assistant and self.

      Send second email a few days before I go out of town as a reminder (I reply-all to my original email so that they can see when I originally informed them).

      I’ve never gotten a reply, and I’ve never had a problem taking the time off.

    2. Totally normal. At my law firm you don’t even “request” the days, you just tell everyone you’re going to be out and that’s the end of it (though you also must tell them if you will be reachable and expect to maybe get some emails etc.) Coming from a more traditional job it took some getting used to, but its actually totally great.

      1. This is how it was at my firm when I was in private practice.

        I currently work in government and we have to fill out leave requests but if you don’t hear anything back, then your request was granted. I drive our admin person nuts asking if my leave was approved.

      1. Mine is definitely a request not inform kind of place. Ask around the office on that one.

    4. When I am booking my vacation, assuming there are no deadlines during the proposed vacation time, I usually send something like this to the entire team on each of my cases:

      Team CASENAME:
      I plan to be out of the office from __ to ___. I will be on vacation in Europe and will have limited access to email, but [ASSISTANT] will know how to reach me if there is an emergency. Please let me know if you foresee any problems with the dates above. I intend to book my ticket on Friday.
      Sincerely,
      YOU

      Then I send a reminded the week before.

    5. I suggest that you also send a calendar invitation to everyone you work with directly (partner, assistant, and any associates with whom you share responsibility on a matter). The email asking permission is a good place to start, but once you have no objection, it makes a big difference to have your planned absences on their calendars. It gives them no excuse to “forget” and expect you to cancel last minute for some emergency that could have been avoided and keeps them from aimlessly looking for you while you’re gone. I suggest putting a reminder on the event for a week beforehand, too. I always do this as an associate, and I really wish partners would do this for me.

      1. I think that is overkill. There is no way I would accept an invitation to keep someone else’s days off on my calendar, which is chock-full of my own actual obligations already. What you should do is set up an out-of-office; that way, when people type your email address in the To field, the out-of-office will hover and remind them not to bother you.

        1. Do you use Outlook? I’ve never noticed it showing someone is out of office before I hit send but that sounds like a great feature.

      2. Yikes dude- do not do this. It’s waaaaay over kill and pretentious. Just set an out of office for when you are gone

      3. I think this is a know your office/boss situation. Totally acceptable at my office. In Outlook you set it as “Free” so that it doesn’t interfere with the appointments of others. It will still provide the “invitees” a reminder and documentation that you requested it and that it was approved.

  11. My second grader has been studying Brazil in school and I need to bring a snack in to school later this week for a little celebration they’re having. Any suggestions? It needs to be something (a) easy to make, (b) that 8 year olds might actually be willing to eat, and (c) appropriate for 8:00 in the morning. Their teacher sent us a list of some Brazilian recipes, but they involve things like frying polenta (which is not happening at 7 in the morning in my house) or “pepper-scented rice”. Anyone have any more practical solutions? Or a beverage suggestion instead? (the only Brazilian drink I know is the caipirinha, which seems a wee bit inappropriate)

    1. Google recipes for pao de queijo.

      Delicious, relatively easy to make, finger-food–basically cheese balls made from tapioca flour (so gluten free, if anyone is allergic).

      2. oh my god those things are wheat free? I’m so hitting up the Brazilian buffet.

      3. They make a mix for these, the brand is called CHEBE and they are super, super good and gluten free. My not-comprehensive health-food store carries it. You can make them without the mix, of course, but the mix has worked for me every time, and I am usually all thumbs when it comes to baking.

      4. Love pao de queijo. My grocery store sells them frozen, so all you have to do is pop them in the oven.

        Another option that is pretty easy is brigadeiro (Google it). Very sweet, very kid friendly. You could make them the night before.

        Coconut water is trendy now, that could be another option.

    2. Not 100% sure if it’s Brazilian (Wiki says it’s eaten in Brazil but certainly not indigenous) but churros? Back in the day I had a similar project and got frozen ones and made them before school (FWIW we put marshmallows on one end and hershey kisses on the other and made ‘pencils’ :) ). Anyway, even though it’s dessert, it’s basically a cinnamon donut, so kids will eat it and it is appropriate for 8 am.

    3. I love the idea of pao de queijo, it’s really typical and like Alice said, also gluten-free. Antoher option is a candy, we call it “brigadeiro”, I found this recipe that is pretty acuratte
      http://allrecipes.com/recipe/brigadeiro/

      If he has any doubts about Brazil, I will be delighted to answer.

    4. The Brazilian boy in my son’s class came back from a visit with sugar cane for everyone. They all loved it. Yes, it’s pure sugar, but minus whatever flavors or dyes and is unrefined. Plus it has a teeny educational benefit of “look where sugar comes from”. I’ve noticed it for sale a couple of places since then.

  12. Sorry for the off-topic, but I have a legal question that I’m wondering if I can crowdsource for a gut feel: I have worked for the past several years as a consultant. Recently, some folks at my current client approached me about a start-up they were founding and asked me to join the company. I would really like to take this position. My non-compete with my consulting firm states that I cannot perform services for any “client or prospective client whom the employee called upon, solicited, consulted or had contact with during the one year period preceding said termination of employment”. I think I’m in the clear because the start-up will be a separate corporate entity from my current customer, but the wrinkle is that this start-up will likely be providing some services to my current customer. There is no competition between consulting firm and start-up (they are focused on different areas) but I’m just wondering if this should be concerning. Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

    1. What’s your company’s record on enforcing the agreement? Oftentimes there are things in agreements that the company never thinks is actually worth their while to pursue legally. But some companies take a position of pursuing everything all the time, or always enforcing certain provisions while letting others slide. Contracts are often a matter of interpretation, especially in an area like this where it’s not explicit. What you want is to avoid even engaging in any kind of legal wrangling because it’s expensive, distracting, and time-consuming. Is there anyone you know who’s left the company who might have some insight on how the company treats its contract? That’s going to be much more valuable to you than finding out the “right” answer.

      1. Ah, excellent advice, thank you! Interestingly, my current on-site manager was previously a consultant for my same firm and took an FTE position at the client site. I assume there was some level of behind-the-scenes wrangling there; I’ll check in with her to see just how much wrangling / groveling it took for that to be OK. My gut feeling is that my company will be disinclined to pursue any sort of legal action and will settle for being somewhat disgruntled about it for a while, but I don’t want to rely on that gut feeling too heavily and find myself in a mess.

    2. Non-competes can be really state-specific as far as what will be enforced and what won’t, and the litigation can be devastating if they decide to enforce it (i.e., immediate TRO preventing you from working for start up, leaving you with tons of attorney fees and no job if start up isn’t willing or able to back you.) I frequently win TROs/preliminary injunctions/settlements that keep people from working for the new company at all, for the term of the non-compete, from working at any competing company, etc.

      So, that said, I’d strongly recommend you call a lawyer.

  13. I will be visiting Seattle in July for 3 full days and would love any travel/sight/foodie tips and recommendations.

    I will be visiting a friend and her new baby but would also love to have some things “to do” either with them, or on my own with bf for when she needs to rest/not have us in her hair.

    Thanks in advance!

    1. Seattle in July is amazing. An obvious answer for something to do is Pike Place Market. Check out Tilth (restaurant) – it was really good.

    2. If you have any interest at all in the development of popular music, you must go to the Experience Music Project. It’s fantastic but you do need to set aside an entire afternoon.

      The Seattle Asian Art Museum is also good.

      For a good sense of the history of Seattle, check out the Seattle Underground Tour. It’s been going for years and is tons of fun.

      Takashimaya is a fun Japanese store that has grown over the years. There are always interesting things there to look at and a good Asian food fair.

      In general, Seattle has a very strong foodie culture and restaurants to show for it. I would suggest taking a look at Urbanspoon Seattle and seeing what appeals to you there.

      Have fun, and take an umbrella!

        1. The Museum of Flight is also a cool place to visit (with more than just Boeing aircraft). Also, the vegan food in Seattle is great.

    3. I was just in Seattle and really enjoyed the EMP and Space Needle (I took the monorail from Westlake plaza), Pike’s Place, the Ballard locks (cool canal-ways), went to see the Fremont troll (really quick stop, but it’s a neat sculpture underneath a bridge and is clutching a real vw beetle covered in concrete!) and wandered through the Fremont area after (lots of shopping, coffee shops, a great chocolate factory’s factory store is there). I also really enjoyed wandering through the Capitol Hill area and drinking lots and lots and LOTS of coffee (try Bauhaus Books & Coffee).

    5. I was just there in April & had a great trip! I’d highly recommend the Smith Tower observation deck (particularly on a clear day) and the Chihuly Gardens & Glass exhibit. Also, Pike Place Market is amazing (I was obsessed with all of the fresh flowers). We did a 3 hour chocolate tour where we toured a chocolate factory and made our own chocolate bars and it was really fun as well (I think it was through a store called The Chocolate Box).

      In terms of restaurants, check out Purple Cafe & Wine Bar and Steelhead Diner near Pike’s Place Market. We also had a lovely, casual lunch at Fonte Cafe downtown.

  14. [Fertility rant; skip if you’re not interested.] Just had the second appointment with the fertility doctor to go over the test results and see where we are. Pretty much everything looks fine so we’re in “unexplained” territory. After the doctor left, Mr. TBK asked why I looked so upset. Um, because it sounds like I’m about to be in an alien’s science experiment? (I mean, the doctor is going to stick a WHAT in my WHERE?!) So Mr. says “oh, yeah. Huh. I just have to do something a little awkward with a cup.” Um, yeah dude. Yeah. Mostly I’m just a little incredulous that we actually have to go through with this (I kind of believed there’d be a miracle this past month and, oh hey! just kidding, we’re all set with the baby thing now, thanks, we can take it from here) and also increasingly annoyed that we’ll be spending a whole lot of money for something that most people can get for free. Including lots of people who don’t even want one. Anyway, also feeling lucky that the technology exists to give us a 30% shot at being poked and prodded into one very expensive pregnancy. Because one thing we’ve figured out this year is that we really, really, really want a baby.

    1. I’m so, so, so sorry. Your feelings are totally justified and understandable. I really hope it works out for you.

    2. Probably too late for this now but could either of you switch jobs to a job that covers the treatment? I frequently review health plans at work and recently came upon a fairly major employer that covered infertility treatments. I’m sure there are others too.

      1. And this completely sucks and your feelings are totally justified. It always makes me so upset that the people who want babies have so much trouble and the people who don’t want them seem to have no problem accidentally having them. Seems so unfair.

    3. Gosh TBK I am so sorry to hear this. I think it might be worthwhile to have a chat with your Mr about “this is actually terrifying for me” because as much as you want a baby, there are a lot of terrifying things about making one, not to mention all of the fertility treatments. It’s really good that everything looks fine – even though it would be great to know a doc found a problem that could be fixed. Everything looks fine! That’s wonderful! Good luck, hugs, and for now, wine?

      1. Oh, he’s usually pretty great. I think it was just a brain-glitch on his part. He looked guilty after I pointed out why this is kind of terrifying, as in “oh, wow, yeah I was a total @sshat for not seeing why you’d be feeling upset.” He’s a good guy.

        1. Glad to hear it. My DH would probably do a similar slip-up, automatically assuming my discomfort would be equal to his (from providing something in a cup) and would need to be called out. But glad to hear Mr TBK is awesome :)

    5. Sorry TBK. We’re about 25K into our fertility voyage and I’m completely there with you on everything you’ve said. Don’t give up. The poking and prodding really isn’t that bad.

    6. It sucks. No doubt about it and you’re completely justified and you should get to eat cookies tonight for dinner.

      I hope this doesn’t upset you, but seriously parents come in all shapes, sizes and forms (bio, adoptive, mentors, etc). I will just say as the kid of someone who was in the ‘didn’t want’ category (and got stuck with the lifelong attitude that came with it), when/if/however you end up being a parent, that kid will be lucky to have someone who wants them.

      Hugs

    7. I’m currently on my second IVF/ICSI pregnancy. It doesn’t get less frustrating. Let yourself feel however you feel. It IS grossly unfair and completely crazy, and you will find yourself in a random parking lot giving yourself a shot in the stomach at some point (or maybe that was just me). It sucks. A lot. But, being somewhat on the other side, I have a two children (twins from the first IVF) who are beautiful and perfect, and a third on the way. And both of my pregnancies were easy as could be, so the difficulty getting pregnant doesn’t always equate to difficult pregnancies (for example, I had no morning sickness at all, so I won that lottery, even if I have been an alien science experience). All the luck in the world to you that it works out great the first time and you have a fabulous pregnancy. And the science is pretty awesome. The chance of my husband and I conceiving without IVF (and even with IVF without ICSI) is roughly on a level with immaculate conception.

    8. Oh TBK, I’m sorry. I’ve been there too. It SUCKS>SUCKS>SUCKS. And then it sucks more.

      The way you feel is totally normal. I remember going to the IF doctor and lecturing the coffee stand guy who was set up right across the way that he had to be *GENTLE! BE VERY VERY GENTLE! AND KIND! DON’T FORGET KIND! * to the women who came from that office.

      I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you. (hugs)

    9. That sucks TBK. I’m glad your hubby is supportive and I wish you a quick, easy path to IVF and a baby.

    10. No advice, just sympathy. I have been where you are and would not go back for love nor money. It stinks and then it stinks again and then it stinks some more. On the plus side, I am sitting on the couch with my six-year-old right now watching cartoons. So it was worth it in the end. But I know that does not make the “now” any better. Big hugs and hang in there.

  15. I am not very memorable…. in my face. Are any of you like this?

    I dress neatly and am polite and professional. When I meet someone new, I look them in the eye and am pleasant and socially appropriate. But it is not unusual for me to have people look at me as if we have never met before…. or they can’t quite place me…. when we have crossed paths in the past. These are usually more casual or intermittent work/social acquaintances. But some see me frequently. I always recognize them. They SHOULD recognize me, as all have been properly introduced.

    It painfully reminds me of high school, where I was never a popular girl. I was the smart, reliable one in a lot of activities, but never invited to the dance.

    I admit…. I am not the most attractive woman. But I do try had to use make-up, style my hair, dress pleasantly. I honestly cannot “make-up” myself more, as I already feel that I am a little more nicely put together then my peers.

    Does anyone else have this situation? I am often trying to figure out the proper way to respond when people don’t recognize me. It is sometimes embarrassing for us both. Sometimes I pre-empt it by “re-introducing” myself, but sometimes that backfires …. one senior co-worker said back…. “I KNOW who you are….” and was irritated. Some still stare at me blankly…

    Sometimes it just makes me feel bad. I am finally getting over my complex about being on the fringes of attractiveness….. but as I am now approaching middle age and getting wrinkles and grey hair, I am becoming more and more …. invisible.

    1. I feel like this all the time. I’ve been at my job for almost 2 years and people still ask me if I’m an intern or if I just started here. I know part of it is because I dress a little nicer than some of my colleagues (like the interns, who are trying to impress people!) and that I’m on the younger side, but it makes me feel like I’m so plain or “average” that no one ever remembers me. It’s a bad feeling. I’m with you!

      1. Thanks for the support! It is actually embarrassing of me to admit this, and my close friends/peers would be surprised if I told them this…. but it has always been true.

        It is almost completely men who don’t recognize me, and sometimes very senior women. I am in a very hierarchical career track, male dominated, so it happens frequently.

    2. I understand where you are coming from, but this is one of those things that you can’t really stress over. I am really good with faces (although not with names) which means I always recognize people who don’t recognize me. And like you, often they really should. Those situations are generally awkward but I usually try to say something like “Hi, I’m [myname]. Gosh, it’s been forever but I think we met at Sarah’s party last month/the quarterly budget meeting/etc.” If they say they know who I am, I just tell them “Sorry, I am terrible with names so I make a habit of reintroducing myself.”

      That being said, sometimes people just aren’t going to recognize you out of context. My dad’s oldest business partner (someone he has worked with MY ENTIRE LIFE and who I absolutely know on sight) was getting on the elevator at *my* office one day as I was getting off. I gave him a head nod and a “good afternoon” as I would any stranger and only after the doors closed and he was gone, was I like “oh crap, that was dad’s business partner, I can’t believe I didn’t recognize him.”

      1. Thanks for your thoughts, and yours is a very good attitude to have. I do try to say exactly what you recommend. But sometimes it is hard to “pull it off” casually in a formal work environment, especially when they should remember me because I see them often. I am also trying to stop “apologizing” when there is nothing for me to be apologizing for. This is something a mentor once told me to stop doing, and is a big problem among some women in my career track.

    3. I’ve had this happen a few times. I wonder if this isn’t a situation where picking a signature item — silk scarves, an edgier hairstyle, chunky jewelry, a bright color — might help. Obviously you don’t want to wear something that makes you self-concious, but maybe a friend could help you identify some part of your exisiting look that you could play up a little more to help you stand out and stick in people’s brains.

      1. This. Somewhat related, there is something to be said for having an interesting hobby that you can talk about. My colleagues do things like bake bread, brew beer, participate in triathlons, ski, play club soccer, go to Disneyworld/land/etc., scuba dive, fly airplanes, have a chicken coop, and so forth. It’s usually what people and clients remember about them (even if they don’t remember names).

        1. You guys do have good ideas, but they work less well in a formal work environment. We don’t talk about social things – just work. I could try something style wise, although I find most guys are oblivious to this. I work in medicine, and find my wardrobe has to be very functional …no hanging jewelry/scarves etc… very simple… no purple glasses etc… I am trying to wear more color though. I will think about other options.

          Other women do remember my shoes though!

          1. Most of my life it’s been the other way round for me–I draw attention even when I don’t mean to, which is especially embarrassing when I see that people recognize me & I don’t have a clue who they are. It helps if they give me a clue without sounding too in tentional about it. Not “we were at the same reception” but “so, what time did you get out if the reception?” Or “I think I’ve almost worked off all the cream puffs I ate at the reception” or something like that.

            But I wonder if the touchy guy is giving you a hint; he looked to you like he didn’t remember you, but he did. Could it be that others do too and just aren’t chatty?

    4. I am sorry you feel this way and I am sorry that the people you work and interact with seem to add to that feeling. As far as re-introductions go, one thing I do when I have a feeling that someone I am meeting might not remember me is I try to head off the situation by saying something like, “Judge So and So, AIMS, we met at that Bar Event last June. How are you?”

      As for the not being memorable part, is there a friend you trust you could talk to about this to get some feedback on why this may be happening? Some people just have faces that make them both look like other people we have met and make them hard to place as a result. Or is it possible that you are so well groomed and put together that your look may be veering toward the generic and therefore isn’t memorable? I have a friend at work that always complains that a lot of people do not remember her, and I think part of it is that she dresses very conservatively veering on plain and styles her hair and makeup in a very polished but nondescript way. She looks impeccable but she also looks very similar to hundreds of people. Me, on the other hand, I am probably far from perfectly dressed every day but I think my style is a little quirkier and t/f a bit more memorable to the random security guy or coffee person I interact with on a daily basis. Perhaps you could add a signature accessory like a bold necklace or colorful glasses for a more standout personal style?

      The other thought I am having is that maybe this is a self-perpetuating problem: if you feel like people won’t remember you, you may draw back which then results in less interaction which results in less people remembering you? Not trying to blame the victim, so to speak, at all – but this is something I notice personally for myself. If I have to attend some event and I feel like no one will want to talk to me, I inevitably try to avoid talking to too many people which leads me to feeling like I was right…

        1. Thanks guys. These are very good thoughts.

          I do have to admit it is a little humiliating for me when people don’t recognize me, and it definitely can make me back away and lose confidence. I am working on that, but it just get discouraging. The attending can forget my name and who I work with, but he wont forget the beautiful 23 year old medical student with the “perfect face” who hasn’t said a word (because she’s also confused and lost most of the time).

    5. Hah! I have a similar (but in some ways opposite problem). I am an medium-height white woman with brown hair. I’m hitting average in so many categories that everyone is sure they’ve met me somewhere…

        1. That’s funny you guys.

          I am a medium-height white woman with brown hair.

    6. Sorry to hear! I feel your sadness through your post and am really impressed that you’re trying to tackle this issue. I think a few things help: (1) Work on your presence. Your presence should immediately be felt when you enter a room. Use Amy Cuddy’s TED talk as a launching point. Then sign up for one-on-one classes with a modeling or poise coach; (2) Make sure to ask questions about the people you’re meeting (not “what do you do?”). Be truly interested in them. Then offer at least one interesting tidbit about yourself. Find a way to work it into the conversation naturally; (3) Speak confidently and clearly and use a firm handshake. If you’re already doing all of this, then I don’t have anything else to offer. I’ve been doing this since high school (when I was dorky, didn’t know how to dress or use makeup or do my hair, and didn’t smile), and all kinds of people still remember me (and things about me) even when I don’t remember them. I think (1) is key.

      I do occasionally run into people who never seem to remember me, but that’s because I never had a real conversation with them. And honestly, we just didn’t click. I’ve decided that’s OK with me if I have to pretend and make small talk with them until I can break away to talk to someone else.

      1. Thank you for your helpful recommendations. I do think they are very good, and you are also very kind and encouraging. You are definitely right about working on your presence. This is so so true. I try to always stand tall, and purposefully wear heels so that I am more at eye level with my male peers.

        What has been challenging in my work environment is the hierarchy. I need to be confident, but not more confident then my place “allows”, if that makes sense. Even the socializing has to be somewhat rank appropriate. Gosh, I hate work-place politics….

    7. I think it’s a mistake to assume there’s something about you that’s not very memorable. Don’t take this personally. This happens to all of us. And instead of turning inward and blaming yourself, why not recognize that these people may not have been paying attention and that’s why they don’t remember you? It could be that simple. Stop worrying about how attractive you are or how assertive you are. You are fine. Let it go.

    8. I wonder if this is more of a personality issue than a wardrobe issue. I am not great with faces but I tend to remember people who go beyond small talk and share something interesting or unique about themselves or have a more “assertive” personality. I also think TBK’s suggestion of developing a signature style or an accessory that becomes part of your look could help – that could be your unique identifier. Also, it’s possible that if someone does actually know you and remember your name (like the senior co-worker who responded that he knows who you are) but they may not know what to say beyond a nod or hi, especially if these are not people you see regularly… just a thought that maybe it’s them, not you

      1. So so true. There is a woman who comes to events, recognizes me, and always engages me in “conversation.” Her “conversation” consists entirely of her asking me questions and turning my questions back on me. She’s the perfect “get people talking about themselves so I don’t have to talk” networker. I have no idea who the h3ll she is. And, yes, she is very generic-looking.

        It bugs me but I figure she asks questions to avoid talking about herself (or her work) and I’ll respect that she wants her privacy.

      1. I know. I adore my dog and just seeing that dog’s face peeking out made me think of how I’d feel if it was my own little guy under there. Also, it seems that this lady lives alone and I know how much pets often mean to older people, especially older widowed people.

  17. FYI, for those of you who like Out of Print Clothing, there’s a promo going – 20% off with the code GRADUATION.

  18. Hi fellow Corporette readers,

    I am conducting some research on the market for bridesmaid dresses using the following online survey: http://kellogg.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_5arqBBcSMSaCO2x

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    Thanks for your help!
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  19. Someone suggested a chicken drop as part of a fundraiser I am involved in – Now… is this kind of excitement okay for the chicken? Also I find the idea of a chicken drop disgusting. Thoughts?

    1. I had to look that up, I’ve never heard of a “chicken drop”. It does sound gross to me and I personally wouldn’t do this in an event I was involved in planning, but I guess if you are excepting a pretty lively/bawdy crowd…?

    2. What will people be wearing at this event?

      If you tell us what kind of excitement you’re trying to stir up, maybe we can suggest other ways of doing it.

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