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Updated: Dec 21, 2020 193 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: ‘Chelsea’ Seersucker Silk Blouse

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150 |

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5/24/24 Update: The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale has started — see our big sale roundup! Also, sign up for our newsletter to stay on top of all the great sales!

Elie Tahari 'Chelsea' Seersucker Silk Blouse

The below content is about the 2013 Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale.

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Nordstrom's Half-Yearly Sale for women and kids has started, with savings of up to 40% on lots of good things, including denim, spring coats, Theory, Cole Haan, Stuart Weitzman, and more.

I'll do a deal round-up a bit later this morning, but for today's TPS I'm liking this lovely white silk blouse from Elie Tahari — the neon placket and black details make it interesting but still classic.

It was $248, but is now marked to $148.80 in sizes XS-XL. Elie Tahari ‘Chelsea' Seersucker Silk Blouse

Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Anonymous

    I like that a lot. I have a couple of questions for you ladies. I have tried Googling these but to no avail.

    Is there any way to do affiliate links on a W ord pre ss site? It doesn’t look like Ski mlin ks, which is what Kat uses, works with WP. Is there another service?

    Also, generally, are there any bl ogg ers out there who can recommend between W o rd p r ess and B l og ger? I’m just getting started, and it’s hard to tell which one is going to be better and in which ways.

    • TCFKAG

      I believe there IS a skim links plug-in for wrod press (spelling intentionally wrong, like you, in case of moderation). http://wordpress.org/plugins/skimlinks/

      I believe there is also a program used Reward style that many fashion bloggers use – but its apply only and you have to get approved by it and the bar is somewhat higher than skim links (you also have to apply for skim links – which means you need to be running your blog for a bit before you can start using the affiliate links – they need to know you’re the “type” of blog that should have them – i think to prevent people from just using affiliate links to get discounts for themselves and friends and family.)

      • Anonymous

        Thanks, TCFKAG. I’ll have to look into that site. I wonder why it is a .org site. Does that work for a fashion blog?

        Anyway, which blog service are you using? Have you found it easy to use?

        • TCFKAG

          I think as you can see from my url, I use weebly. There were definitely some ups and downs at first (you have to do some fancy footwork to get the “blog” part to be your homepage and I think in general you have to be more comfortable with html than you need to be on other blog formats.) But the process of actually constructing each post is beautifully simple and intuitive so I really like that.

        • darby

          my understanding is that with WP there is a difference b/n their .org and .com offerings — I’m not sure exactly which is which, but I think .com tends to be used by personal bloggers and .org by companies, but I can’t recall the reasons. I think the plug-in solutions vary depending on which version you’re using.

    • eeyore

      I blog on WordPress. I feel it is much cleaner (and less orange) than Blogger, and I’ve found there are plenty of plug-ins that allow me to do/add whatever I want. The blog linked here is my latest adventure; I blogged previously on a more personal blog that I’ve since deleted, but it was also with WordPress. I’m fairly certain Kat uses WordPress to host this site.

    • Cb

      I use WordPress for an academic blog and find it quite clean / intuitive. It seems pretty standard for professional blogs.

  2. Formal Wedding Guest

    Hey ladies,

    Early threadjack, I was invited to a formal wedding, had my outfit picked out and everything. Now I am being told that you can’t wear pastel colors during a formal wedding. What do I know, all I know about American weddings I know from the Gogol Bordello song, I have never attended one.
    Is that really true? It didn’t say any such thing on the invitation, my MIL just told me.
    GAH, hate it already :-/
    Help me out?

    • Miss Behaved

      What? Sure, you can wear pastel colors to a formal wedding. I’ve never heard of such a thing.

      • Ellen

        I think the Mother in law is saying no pastel’s b/c she does NOT want you to show up the BRIDE. Most likeley, the bride needs as much attention as she can get, and the LAST thing they need at the wedding is for the BRIDE to be upstaged by other women who have nicer dresse’s then the Bride.

        When Rosa got married, Mom did NOT put out any restriction’s and as you might SUSPECT, alot of her freind’s dressed with very colorful dresse’s. Fourtuneately, b/c Rosa has model look’s, it did NOT matter that she had a simpel white dress –VERA WANG– b/c she was clearely the prettiest one there by far! YAY Rosa. Alot of her freind’s looked good, I dont want to misleed you, but they were realy NOTHIING special next to ROSA. If ONLEY I could have gotten some of ROSA’s gene’s, I would be MARRIED by now with Children of my own! FOOEY! Right now, I am NOT thrilled about haveing to impress littel Philip just b/c he has a job, and money in the bank. The thought of him makeing babies with me is NOT something I am lookeing forward to, especialy b/c I want 2 children and a house in the subburb’s. DOUBEL FOOEY! Mom went out and bought a whole chicken which we will COOK on FRIDAY night together. YAY!!!!! I am takeing off early from work b/c the manageing partner said I could. I signed up for the CLE, and will get 1.5 ETHIC’s credit’s for it. YAY!

    • Anonymous

      I can’t imagine why pastel to a wedding would be a no-no, unless you are trying to wear a pastel strapless sundress & flip flops to a black tie event…

      • AIMS

        Or it’s a pastel color that is so light it could be mistaken for white.
        I think your MIL is wrong, and if she is not technically wrong (g*d knows there are enough crazy archaic rules out there) no one will care if you wear your chosen dress. It sounds like you’re going to a spring/summer wedding. Pastel was invented for just this time! Enjoy yourself.

    • Coffee Addict

      I have NEVER heard of that rule, especially for a summer wedding (I’m guessing). I would ask around and see what other people are wearing. If everyone else is in wine, plum, and black colored dresses, I wouldn’t want to be the sore thumb, but if you’ve already bought a pastel, floor-length, formal dress you love, work it!

    • MissK

      I’ve never heard of this; I think pastels are OK for a wedding – especially a summer one.

    • Cb

      Is it because of concern that you’ll match the bridesmaids? This is a weird rule. I’d say check Wedding Bee but that is a crazy, crazy world.

      • AIMS

        From what I could figure out via google, I think the “concern” is that a pastel dress could look white in pictures because of the flash. But even for people who consider this a serious issue, the concensus seems to be that you’re okay to wear pastels as long as you’re not in the family wedding pictures.

    • TCFKAG

      So, if I can posit where your MIL might be getting this rule, she’s probably thinking of black-tie evening weddings where dark colors will be in abundance and pastels would be quite rare. In addition, people I think generally shy away from very pale pastels because of the fear of it reading as white (especially if you’re wearing floor length gowns to the wedding and the risk of looking like you’re wearing a wedding dress is higher.)

      All that said, I think that for a summer wedding, pastels are completely acceptable in the modern day. Accessorize it with some brighter jewelry and as long as it isn’t soooo light, you’ll be totally fine (IMHO – I’m obviously not the final arbiter on all things Ms. Manners.)

    • Snarkster

      I think pastels are fine. The fact that your MIL doesn’t like it means that you should go all out on the pastel :)

      • Formal Wedding Guest

        I like the way you think. But my MIL is actually nice… it’s just that the whole family is crazy.

    • Formal Wedding Guest

      Well, for starters I am glad that I am not the odd one out.
      My dress is teal, but not crazy bright.
      I understand the sticking out, but the wedding is in June, so I would say it’s Spring/Summer. and I also understand that you probably don’t want a whole church full of people who look like Easter Eggs, but mentioning stuff like that on the invitation would have been nice.
      I don’t know anything about the colors of the bridesmaids. Their wedding homepage doesn’t give any insight, either… maybe I should just get sick, or something, I am feeling a migraine coming ;).

      • Formal Wedding Guest

        Oh, Invitation: Formal Attire
        Wedding homepage: Semi Formal

        Yea, that’s not confusing at all.

        • Neveah

          The couple is lucky to have you joining them at their wedding (and probably bringing a gift). Wear the teal dress, and I am sure you will look lovely!

          Then again, I hate weddings.

      • TCFKAG

        Teal isn’t a pastel in my book anyway. I mean, it depends on the shade I guess, but most teals are pretty bright.

        • CKB

          I agree. I would think the pastel version of teal would be aqua. Anyway, I wouldn’t consider teal a pastel, so wear your teal dress & rock it!

    • S in Chicago

      I’ve never heard of such a thing. And if you look at formal options right now, some of the most popular colors are seafoam green, pale blue, pale coral, etc. I’m rocking a blush dress in another month or so for a friend’s wedding. As long as the fabric, cut, etc. read formal and it’s not going to be a white or ivory that could be confused with the bride, that is all that should matter.

      • lawsuited

        Have you checked with your friend or someone in the bridal party that blush is okay? I reckon bluch falls into the category of colours that are close enough to white or ivory to read bridal, not to mention that blush bridal gowns have become very popular in their own right.

  3. Anonymous

    Pretty, except for the neon trim. Makes NKOTB start playing in my head…

    • AIMS

      I can’t decide if I like it because I hate how it is styled so much. I think it would probably be okay on its own, but then again I am not sure I would pay this much money for something that I feel just “meh, not bad” about.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Nope, nope, I take that back! Just saw the whole thing with neon stripes at the bottom.

          • Anonymous

            Oh my god, I didn’t even see that. The stripe up the backside + the neon band at the waist + the “leopard stripes” at the bottom??? Just wow.

          • AIMS

            Haha, what about the bright back seam and the neon band around the stomach (which wouldn’t be so bad alone, but with the crazy leopard rings at the bottom….)??? That skirt is a whole lotta look!

    • V

      It is just me, or are the sleeves really long (on a model who’s likely much taller than me)?

    • Bonnie

      I like the pop of neon but not the seersucker material. Non-striped seersucker just looks wrinkled to me.

    • CKB

      LOL! I can’t bring myself to buy white shirts with black collars & cuffs because it’s way to 90’s for me.

  4. LilyB

    Ladies, for what sort of occasion would you wear this dress? Couldn’t resist it, and I love how it looks on, but I’m not sure how much use I’ll get out of it… I’d be fine just wearing it 2-3 times this summer but I need ideas! Date night (with cropped jean jacket on top?), or is it too much?

    link to follow

        • LilyB

          I’m 5’4 so the dress is definitely not as short on me as it is on the model, maybe 3 inches above the knee.

          I can recommend it if anyone’s considering this style

          • Ginjury

            What body type do you have? I’m usually a size 4, but pretty curvy. While I love the dress, I don’t know how it would look on me.

          • LilyB

            I’m a size 4 (occasionally a 2), pretty hourglass-y/”8″ figure (35″,26″,37″). I got a size small in this dress and it fits great.

          • momentsofabsurdity

            LilyB, I think you and I might be twins. I’m going to try this dress!

      • AIMS

        Pretty! I would wear it on any number of occasions, including date night or just out and about. Because it is short, I would probably wear it with flat sandals during the day and maybe a denim jacket or something else kind of casual to dress it down.

      • Ginjury

        Oh, I love that dress! The lace details are beautiful.

        I think the outfit you described, with some casual, natural colored sandals would be cute. I”m not sure about the fabric, but you could probably even wear it with a nicer pair of sandals during the day.

        • LilyB

          yeah that’s how I pictured it; unsure about daytime wear mostly because of the mesh neckline, I feel like it puts the dress firmly in nighttime territory.

    • Equity's Darling

      I have a dress similar to this, and I wear it out for patio drinks with friends on Saturday afternoons, to hang out with a book at the coffee shop, etc. It actually gets a surprising amount of wear- in fact, I’ve worn it on casual fridays with a colorful blazer, but I’m short and the dress is probably just above my knee, any shorter than that and I wouldn’t. You could definitely wear it for date night. I also wear mine with cowboy boots, but umm..that may be my city, so I don’t necessarily recommend you try it (though I admit, the look has grown on me).

      • LilyB

        Haha LOVE the lace and cowboy boots look but I’m afraid I couldn’t pull it off; I’d feel self-conscious the whole time.

    • Niktaw

      Date night, wedding/baby shower…
      I’d even wear this with comfortable flats to a museum or a winery hop.

      • rosie

        I probably would not wear a white dress to someone else’s wedding shower (kind of extending the not wearing white as a wedding guest policy).

  5. NOLA

    Okay, I see the texture on the blouse, but seersucker? I don’t think that’s what this is.

    • Bonnie

      I actually just looked that up. Seersucker is apparently any thin, puckered, material, and does not have to be striped. Although it’s usually cotton because it became popular in colonized India to keep the Brits cool.

    • anon for this

      I kind of wish I needed this. Because then, it would make my long months of singleness (hopefully) more bearable.

      • LilyB

        seems like the loss of libido has to do with being in a long-term monogamous relationship though; so unlikely you’d suffer from it if you’re single! plus, getting into a new relationship is so awesome precisely because of the crazy attraction and lust!

      • a different anon

        I do need it, and wished it were otherwise so that I’d be more active in dating rather than making little effort for the past 3 years because I do not want to live where I am for the rest of my life, and there are few transplants. Moving for a job has many costs.

    • Anonymous

      What is it … testosterone? Testosterone has been shown to help libido quite a bit in women. I know people who have taken it successfully.

  7. Boston hairdresser?

    Any Boston folks have a hairdresser they can recommend? I’m only looking for a haircut (no color or anything), but I want it to be a good one! Prefer Back Bay or along the Red Line. Thanks!

    • Miss Behaved

      Sorry. I love my hairdresser, but she’s in JP. I followed her from her Newbury Street salon.

    • Boston

      James, at the Townhouse Beauty Bar on Charles St. (ok, not quite Back Bay, but close enough). He’s really great, a very loyal following with a bunch of clients who followed him to this new place when he moved there from Newbury Street. Plus they give you a free hand massage while he’s cutting your hair, which was heavenly.

    • Boston Recs

      Ive been happy with Salon Tamo, which is in the “leather district” (the 4 blocks between south station and Chinatown). It’s a block from my office which makes my life so much easier.

      I only do cuts/blow dries. Runs about $60-65.

  8. Anon

    TJ: I was extended an offer for a new job. I also interviewed with other employers and I am in the “waiting for an offer” period at those companies. I have not been in touch with HR, just the partners throughout my entire interview experience. How would you go about alerting the companies you are waiting to hear from about your current situation? I have had lunch with these potential employers several times, so I am a little less formal than just a panel interview meeting. Phone call or e-mail? How do you phrase that you have an offer but that you would still love to hear what they have to say? The companies are Biglaw firms FYI. Thank you in advance.

    • Ginjury

      I’m not in law, but I’ve been in this position. I would recommend calling your contact there (whoever you’ve been in touch with most frequently) and let them know that you’ve received an offer, but are still interested in their company and give them a timeline for when you need to make a decision. From there, they should give you an idea of their timeline, if not, just ask.

    • KLG

      When this happened to me, I sent a short email to most senior person I had interviewed with at the other places saying I wanted to follow up because I received a job offer elsewhere, but was still very interested in working for them and was wondering when they might be making a decision regarding the position. I heard crickets from one place, but got a quick response from the other that they were still interested in me and hoped to have a decision by the end of the week.

  9. Anonymous

    How do you deal with coworkers who dislike you for no apparent reason? Theres this woman that I work with that always ignores me and smirks at me in passing. I’ve never worked with her or even spoken to her aside from me saying hi/goodmorning, which she usually just ignores. She was on a different team and used to work with another woman (same level as me) who was switched over from my team to theirs. I’m guessing the person who was switched over started saying negative things about me or how it’s my fault she had to switch teams (one of us had to be moved due to staffing/budget issues and the ultimate decison was made by the higher ups). Now, the two have come back over to my current team and have formed a little clique. I see these two every day and have always been professional but it’s just annoying how they get passive aggressive.

    • Neveah

      I’d address head on- by being really nice. “Hey ladies, how’s it going?” “Is this seat taken?” (In the lunchroom). “Wow, your idea for the project sounds great. Can’t wait to get started.”

      I don’t think you need to be weirdly nice, but show them they don’t scare you. If, if, if it gets really bad say “I can’t help but feel there is some animosity towards me. Have I done something to offend you? I love working with you, and I want our working relationship to be productive and enjoyable.”

    • Anon for this

      Oh man. I dealt with one such senior woman as a new associate. She was awful to me in particular. I ended up discussing it informally with a higher up who was acting as a mentor. He told me, in an embarrassed awkward way, that this mid level had a history of problems with associates like me – those that were friendly, smart, and attractive. I was shocked but kind of relieved that it wasn’t my work and there was nothing I could do to change her issue. Sure enough, an attractive and professional paralegal was hired and that senior woman was equally evil to her. Some people just hate on people for crazy reasons and the best you can do is limit your interactions with them as much as possible.

    • Lynnet

      I’ve had the same problem- one of my co-workers was obviously ignoring me and the entire fact of my existance, despite the fact that I’d never talked to her so there was no reason for her to dislike me. I just basically did the same to her. I just didn’t care enough to want to put effort into making her like me. Then a couple of weeks ago she suddenly started talking to me. So now I’m just approaching her very carefully. I get the feeling that she acts this way with all new people, so I try not to take it personally…

    • Terry

      Is it possible you’re reading too much into this? It sounds like you haven’t had any bad interactions with her. Per Lynnet’s experience, she may just not be a warm person.

    • TCFKAG

      So – I guess the first question you’d have to answer is whether this is how she behaves with everybody or if it is, in fact, exclusive to you. I have definitely known people who were like this in the hallways of schools or work – they just don’t interact well on a social basis in quick or passing conversation. And the smirk you’re seeing may actually BE her way of being polite – she may think she’s smiling at you nicely. So I don’t know if you know anyone else who would interact with her as well and would be able to be discreet if you asked them about it, but I would.

      Then – if it as me – I might actually try burying the hatchet first with the woman from your department who got transferred. Maybe e-mail her saying “I miss working with you, want to get coffee on Thursday” or “Hey, long time no talk – want to do lunch.” Tell her that you regret that she’s been transferred out and that the group seems lonelier without her. (Lay it on as thick as you can while still maintaining some modicum of truthfulness). Then in the course of conversation you can ask her if she’s liking the people in her new group. Who knows – she may be having the same problems with this woman you are. Or maybe not, and if you mend the relationship with your former group member than maybe the group of you will become more than just tense acquaintances.

      But…there’s always the final option, which is that not everyone has to like you. You could elect to simply ignore it if it doesn’t impact your work or your job. Being smirked at, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t the end of the world.

  10. Anonymous

    I think we’ve had threads similar to this before but I am always interested to see the varied responses of the Hive – what is your attitude toward casual s*x?

    Would you or do you have it? Do you follow any “rules” (a la Patti Stanger) of what you need before you are ready to have s*x with a new partner (exclusivity, relationship definition, # of dates, “I-love-yous” exchanged, whatever)? Do you keep track of your “number”? How has your attitude toward casual s*x changed or evolved over time?

    Not asking with any judgment in mind, honestly. Just kind of curious, brought on by the Viagra thread above (hey, we’re women, we have needs, we can talk about it).

    I can start – I sometimes feel like a prude among my friends that I really don’t have casual s*x but I did have a couple of casual partners in high school that I now regret (for many reasons, but mostly my age at the time). I do not go there (or anywhere in that region, honestly) until I’m confident my partner and I are exclusive. I sometimes feel like a huge prude among my friends or feel like I’m “doing” (pun intended) my 20s wrong because of it.

    • anonforthis

      I shared your attitude til recently (and in some ways still do). But I also feel like it makes things doubly awkward and causes a lot of anxiety. The guy I’m seeing now is someone I met through a friend, hung out with a couple times in a group, and then drunkenly LGP’d with. I figured it’d just turn into a sporadic hook-up situation but then he started asking me on dates. So sex early in a relationship, I assume (though I have no idea where my current situation is heading), can turn into a relationship or at least a dating relationship.

      If by casual sex you mean sex with someone you just met and will likely never see again, then I agree with you completely- it’s just not for me. Mostly because part of what makes me attracted to someone is their personality and at least some potential for a relationship.

    • Anon

      If I want to, I have s ex. If I don’t feel like it, I don’t. I don’t really see a point in having a list of arbitrary rules to follow or having regrets (unless something catastrophic happened as a result of it, which hasn’t been the case for me).

      • quzie

        +1. I think people should have sex with whoever they want to whenever they want to with no judgment as long as you know yourself and are considerate of your own feelings. If you are someone that gets attached to ppl you have sex with, then don’t have sex. If you can do it casually, then go for it. This is usually on a case by case basis for me.

    • Anonymous

      This is my attitude exactly. Sometimes I wish it wasn’t, but I know it saves me a lot of confusion and heartache that I’m just not good about handling. It’s just my temprament. That said, it’s always comforting to here there are others out there. Sometimes I think I’m the only one. Early 30s, FWIW.

    • Spikette

      Interesting…

      Would you or do you have it? Yes and yes. I am not sure what you mean by casual sex but in any event I don’t object to it, but at the same time I appreciate it isn’t for everyone. If you mean one-night-stands, then I’ve had several (in fact probably around the same number if not more of those than regular lady gardeners).

      Do you follow any “rules” (a la Patti Stanger) of what you need before you are ready to have s*x with a new partner (exclusivity, relationship definition, # of dates, “I-love-yous” exchanged, whatever)? No – I do it when I feel like it, sometimes it’s sooner than other times.

      Do you keep track of your “number”? I don’t know the exact number off the top of my head, but if I sat down and made a list, I could. I know the ballpark and it’s around the same as my age.

      How has your attitude toward casual s*x changed or evolved over time?

      I have less of it now than I did when I was younger, but this has been a consequence of (1) fewer offers (2) becoming more picky and (3) recognising that garden parties with randoms are rarely that great. For example, on Saturday I had an opportunity for a random gardenparty, which the 25-year-old me would likely have jumped on, whereas now (despite the dry spell) I decided I didn’t really want to and was much more discerning and said no. Also, the type of guy I would seriously date is not usually the same guy I would have a ONS with (though I have had relationships with people who I thought would be a ONS).

    • Anon Today

      I had an interesting convo with a friend about this. She said she and her now-fiancé had LPG on their second date because she said she doesn’t know whether she wants to date a guy exclusively until she’s seen his LPG skills. I take the extreme opposite approach: I don’t have LPGs until well after I’m in an exclusive relationship (the guy I’ve been dating exclusively for seven months and I have not had a LPG and, while it’s not easy, we think it’s best for our relationship).

      I had drunken casual s*x with one guy with whom I’d been friends for a long time. It completely ruined the relationship. Otherwise I have not had casual s*x, which I define as s*x with someone I’m not in an exclusive relationship with, and my attitude about it has not changed as I have gotten older. As a result, I have not had many partners and that is something I’m happy about.

    • Anonymous

      I also go with no LGPs until exclusive, but before then I’m okay with everything up to and including oral. I think my friends judge me for being a prude, but whatever. I’m also extremely picky about partners, in that I don’t date anyone unless I see long term potential, so I spend a lot of time single. It gets lonely, but I have electronic helpers.

      I think my attitude towards others being involved in casual hookups has become more lenient. I used to be pretty judgemental, but the older I get, the more I realize, different strokes for different folks, and that I’m really not okay with sl*t shaming in any way, shape or form. I do wish that there was less prude shaming within my group of friends, particularly as I have never judged them for being less than discriminating (my opinions changed before I met this group of friends), and so it kind of sucks sometimes.

      • Anonymous

        Also, I’ve never had a ONS, and I can count the number of partners on one hand, with room to spare. I intend to keep it that way – as I’ve never regretted not sleeping with someone, but I have regretted sleeping with someone.

      • Anonymous

        Can I ask why oral is ok? Oral is actually more scary to me than LGP without being exclusive, because I think there is more acceptance for protection with LGP than oral

    • Yeah def anon for this

      I had a GREAT time in my early twenties. In between semi-serious monogamous relationships, I enjoyed the freedom of collegial LGPs with pretty much anyone and everyone willing and unattached. Ladies, fellas, both at the same time, whatever! And some of those were fantastic! After the wine wore off, though, I had to look back and realize that most were pretty dull, and now that I’m exploring a new style of LGP with my SO, I honestly don’t WANT to have tea with most other people.

      Once I realized I was interested in holding these particular types of LGPs, about two years before I met my SO, I also realized that I had to screen my suitors for their interests in the same kinds of LGPs, and it became even more important to party in my tea party suit early on in the relationship.

      I don’t judge anyone who doesn’t want to share tea early on, though. Like anon at 10:53, I figure different strokes for different folks.

      • Anonymous

        I’m so curious what “type” of party you’re referring to, given that we’re all anon, you might as well say.

        • Yeah def anon for this

          Light bondage, domination, medium masochism and knife play, but walking a fine line of k*nk and tenderness. The balance is difficult to explain, and was even more difficult to reach, but my SO and I have found our balance, and we’re loving it.

          In my casual LGP days, I once asked a partner to hold my arms above my head, and he was very weirded out.

    • B-1

      I had a few casual sex partners in my 20s, but nothing too crazy. Honestly, now that I’m married and in my 30s my only regret is that I didn’t have more casual sex while I still could.

    • January

      Yeah, I feel about the same way as you do (though I agree with the poster immediately below you that it can create *more* anxiety… probably because I feel out of step with what’s perceived as normal). I tried a “casual” thing with a guy in my friend group once, but it didn’t last too long, as it quickly became clear that I was only interested in continuing if we were going to start dating and he had no interest in that. We’re no longer friends (and since then, it’s become clear for other reasons that he’s not someone I want in my life, romantically or otherwise). So, at least I know that casual intimacy is not for me. I don’t care too much about what other people do, really, and if you can have casual fun-times without worrying about it, that’s great for you… but it’s definitely not for me. I have not figured out how I would approach this with any other prospective partner.

      • AIMS

        I think that when it comes to s*x, there is any such thing as “normal.” Everyone should just stop worrying about it and enjoy themselves, whatever that means for them.

    • Anonymous

      Interesting thread. I tend to change how I feel about it – some years I feel that I only want to have LGPs if I’m exclusive with someone, and some years I feel a bit more like “what the heck, if I feel like it I’ll have it”. Basically I go with my gut, and I’m better at doing that now in my 30s than in my 20s, when I would sometimes have s-x because I guy insisted even if I didn’t feel like it, because I felt it was rude to say no. Yeah, the people pleasing mentality of my 20s has gone away….thank heaven.

      Right now I’m single and not very interested in casual s-x at all, but I’ve had a couple of LGPs with a good guy friend. I love him, but I’m not in love with him (and I think he’s on the same page) and his crazy schedule makes him not boyfriend material right now, so it’s nice to have an understanding that it’s not leading to anything, but we’re kind, respectful, open and communicative with each other. And it’s fun. I actually didn’t think such a thing could exist without drama and hurt feelings, but I was wrong.

    • Anonymous

      For the most part, I’m a fairly reticent gardener- waited until 25, one partner, broke up with him a couple years ago and haven’t found a new LGP worthy relationship.

      But a couple weeks ago I got drunk at a wedding and hooked up with the guy who had been hitting on me all night and it was awesome. Turns out he has a gf, but that’s really his issue not mine. I had a ton of fun and no regrets at all. So maybe more partying in my future.

    • TO Lawyer

      This is interesting to me – in certain circles, some people believe I have a “reputation”. I’m flirty and date casually a lot but don’t end up sleeping with men until we’re more serious.

      Now that I’m newly single, I’ve been looking for a distraction (I’ve been told that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else) but in all honesty, the idea of being intimate with someone right now is giving me crazy anxiety. So maybe I’m more conservative in that sense – I want to be ok with more casual s3x but apparently I’m not…

    • Anonymous

      I’m waiting until I get married, both for religious and personal reasons. It doesn’t seem to be a popular answer here, but I’m really happy with my choice, so that doesn’t bother me. I’m in my 20’s. Many of my friends share the same religious beliefs, so they have the same reasoning, but my non-religious friends don’t seem particularly interested in anything casual either.

    • Anon for this

      I’ve been there, done that – one night stands, FWBS, the gamut. I lost interest tbh and these days it pretty much would take Jeremy Renner for me to make an exception. Maybe it’s me being older and more mature, or just me being hella picky these days.

      I also have this weird not quite dilemma where I am absolutely not in a relationship with someone, but we’ve also had the occasional night together every now and then for… almost 7 years now. Definitely not a FWB situation but with the fact that it’s been happening for nearly a decade puts it firmly outside “casual” too, and I hate not having a good word for it.

    • Diana Barry

      I had plenty of casual s*x in college and law school when I was between relationships – it was GREAT at the time. Then I met my husband and stopped all that.

  11. AnonInfinity

    Has anyone ever been to Canyon Ranch or a similar place? It’s a resort with a spa, exercise classes, and general relaxation activities. My husband and I are going on vacation in August, and we want something that’s relaxing but with options for activities. Doesn’t have to be in the U.S. I found CR because a blogger I follow is currently posting from Canyon Ranch, and it looks very relaxing. Part of me wonders if it gets boring, though.

    • rosie

      My parents have been to the CR in Mass and really liked it. They got a lot of good fitness info (stretching, etc.). I think it’s pretty pricey, although I think it sounds pretty relaxing and nice. I don’t think they allow alcohol, though, if that’s a factor for you.

    • V

      Have you looked at the Greenbrier?

      It has a lot of pro-husband activities (I could bring my friends to Canyon Ranch, but probably couldn’t talk my husband into going there).

      • SunnyD

        I have only been to the Greenbrier in the winter, but can say it is wonderful and I cannot wait to go back. The other people I went with—men and women—also really enjoyed themselves. I understand there is more stuff to do in the summer than the winter too.

    • LH

      It’s insanely expensive (probably even more expensive than CR and its not all inclusive) but I’ve heard amazing things about the Amangiri resort in Utah (right near the Arizona border). It has a similar focus on relaxation with yoga classes and a huge spa, but there’s a lot to do right nearby, including several national parks (Grand Canyon, Zion, Bryce) within a couple of hours drive. I think they also offer hikes and boat trips near the property. I’ll probably never go there because of the cost but to me it seems like the ultimate blend of relaxation and (outdoorsy) activity.

      • AnonInfinity

        Wow. That is beautiful! A little out of the budget for now, unfortunately. Maybe one day…

  12. New Graduate

    Hi everyone,

    First of all, I love this site! I just graduated with my first college degree, and plan on working a few years full time before going back to school for my next degree. The full time job I get now will be the first full time job that I have ever had. I have a question that I hope some of you would be willing to answer and provide me with some guidance.

    I have been planning a trip for this fall to go to Florida for between 5-7 days. Part of the trip will be to check out future colleges, and part of it will be to have fun. I am not 100% sure exactly what date I am going to go, but I have it narrowed down to a few potential weeks (possibly in October or early November).

    My question is, how do I let my employer know of this vacation that I will be taking? Let’s say I get a job offer in the next month or two. Do I let them know as soon as I get the job offer that I have a week planned away and that I will need that week off? Do I tell them why I need the week off, or should I keep it as vague as possible? Obviously I would not tell them that I eventually plan on moving there. If I land a job in July or August, and I plan on taking the trip in October or November, does that matter? Is that too soon to be gone for 5-7 days?

    I am not really sure how to go about this, so I would love some advice! Thanks!

    • New Graduate

      I graduated with my associate degree, so I will probably be looking at administrative assistant or office manager jobs (or something similar) if that matters at all.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      This may be a ‘know your market’ thing, but here (London) if you had a holiday booked before starting a new job, they would usually ask you and if they didn’t, you would just let HR know before you started that you have XYZ days booked. So yes, I would let them know once I have the offer, rather than waiting to start.

    • Anonymous

      I would let them know as soon as you get a job offer, that you have prebooked travel planned for X dates, as part of your compensation negotiation. I wouldn’t tell them what it was for though, it’s not their business.

      It’s definitely worth bringing up since by October, even if you started today, you may not have ordinarily built up enough vacation days to be able to take a weeklong trip, depending on their vacation policy.

      Unfortunately, because office manager/admin assistant positions are often not highly in demand and in this economy, there are plenty of candidates for those job, you may find they do not have much room to budge on their policy or may force you to take the time unpaid. Still, it’s enough notice that I doubt a company would outright say “no” to the request, though.

      • New Graduate

        Thanks for replying! I am not completely sure yet what type of job I will end up with. My degree is in Business Administration so I have been looking at everything from payroll coordinator jobs to human resources positions to being an administrative assistant. It would not be a big deal if I take the vacation unpaid, as I am taking the job mainly to buy my first car and to save some money towards going back to school. Do you think even if I’m willing to take the vacation unpaid, they will still be okay with it? Would they retract the job offer over something like that? That is my main concern…

        • mascot

          I do’t think it will jeopardize your job offer, especially if you are taking it unpaid.

      • TCFKAG

        I agree with all the above responses of bringing it up in negotiating terms of employment once an offers been made – but you should be prepared for some push back – for example, possibly being asked to take the leave unpaid. In most jobs, you accrue vacation time gradually (say 4 hours a week) so at that point in your employment you will be unlikely to have 5-7 days of vacation stored up. Some nice employers *might* let you take it before hand and then “take” the vacation retroactively, but many won’t (more likely to happen with sick leave than vacation time in my experience.)

        And you also have to consider what you’ll do if the job says straight up no. As in “no, we need staff on board now and we really can’t have you taking that week off so soon after you start.” Just consider whether the trip is something, in the worst case scenario, that can be pushed back and whether or not it would be a deal breaker on a job (I’d suggest not – but every person has to decide their own negotiating limits on jobs.)

    • rosie

      Congratulations! I would wait until you have a job offer and then mention something about your trip. Expect that you may have to take the time unpaid (or partly unpaid) if you have not accumulated the vacation time yet. I would just say that you have previously scheduled personal travel planned for X week.

      Also, this blog is great, but I would also recommend askamanager [dot] org for lots of useful information about joining, staying, and existing in the workforce.

    • V

      I’d say to mention it at the offer stage, as in “I’d love to accept your offer to start in September. I have a 1-week vacation scheduled in [Month]; will that be a problem?” It probably won’t be, but at this point, they’ll be on record.

    • mascot

      Congrats on graduating. Wait until you have the offer to mention any vacation plans. Employers generally don’t have an issue with vacations that you planned pre-hire, but you need to ideally figure out 1) what your vacation policy is in the new job and 2) making sure it doesn’t interfere with major work projects. You won’t have those answers until you have a job offer so don’t stress too much yet. It may be that you can adjust when you are going.

  13. London Travel

    Good morning, Ladies! I need advice on travel to London. We are planning a visit for my daughter’s high school graduation trip. We will be going in July.
    I am having trouble navigating the where-to-stay situation – we need at least one room (it will be me, my husband and our daughter). Are hotels the way to go? Or has anyone had luck renting flats/ apartments?
    Also, anything/anywhere we must go/do/see? (we are staying for a week, so we are not opposed to traveling out of town and off the beaten path).
    As far as interests go, we enjoy museums, art, theater, great food and the outdoors (and while we might want to visit one pub,that is not our typical “scene.”) TIA!

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Yay! Welcome!

      Hotel rooms are pretty small on average, around NYC size, so for three people you may be getting under each others’ feet pretty quickly. There is a local site called owners direct which may have some places to rent out apartment-wise. My parents stayed from out of town last year and I couldn’t at the time have them stay at mine, so we rented a place in Camden, it wasn’t super nice, but did the job. We literally just googled apartment rentals.

      I will stick to the non-obvious sightseeing suggestions, because it’s pretty easy to do the main sites (British Museum, Big Ben etc etc). All the museums are free, by the way, except e.g the Tower, including the art galleries. My favourite is the National Portrait Gallery, it has a good restaurant on the roof as well. If you like modern art, then Tate Modern is a good bet and they often have excellent special exhibitions.

      For travelling out of town – Hampton Court or Windsor Castle are good bets as they are under an hour on the train from London. Also, Oxford is great for a day trip, again about an hour by train, and you can go and do tours of the different colleges and there are lots of cute streets to walk around. Bath is also great, but a lot further away (more like 2 hours on the train) or you can go to the coast (Brighton, which is less historic and more eccentric).

      I also really like the guided walks (just search for London Walks), the Jack the Ripper one is the most famous but they have absolutely loads. The parks are great, Hampstead Heath has the best views, but they are everywhere.

      If you are foodies, have an afternoon tea. They come in all varieties and price ranges and if you go on the site last minute,they will always have offers like two for one etc. I love the Dorchester, which is more expensive, but cheaper options can be found eg at the Montague Hotel, Charlotte Street Hotel, Cocoon etc. Fun restaurants include Bubbledogs (hot dogs and champagne, kinda gimmicky, but worth the wait, tiny and they don’t take bookings), Sushi Samba (opened recently, so maybe not super easy to get to, but has great views as it’s on top of a skyscraper), and a curry on Brick Lane is is also a London institution, if not just for the atmosphere which is very different from everywhere else. There are soooo many good restaurants so depends on what kind of food you like.

      If you want more customised tips, feel free to drop me a line on ellecommawoods (the mail starting with g).

    • Anon

      Hampton Court is lovely! It’s about an hour outside of the city, beautifully preserved, with meticulous gardens, a great hedge maze, and small enough that it’s not usually thronged with gaping tourists. If it’s at all chilly, I’d recommend getting a jelly doughnut or scones and a hot chocolate at the Tiltyard and sitting in the garden.

    • Anonymous

      Stay at the London School of Economics dorms near Trafalgar Square. Very cheap and centrally located. Very minimal accommodations, but you’re not going to London for the accommodations.

      • Anonymous

        Also, check out the Churchill War Rooms. Not free, but worth your time. Located near Parliament.

    • Gus

      When you first get there, be sure to do the hop-on/hop-off double decker bus. Yes, it’s touristy, but it’s actually a really great way to orient yourself to the city if you’ve never been there. You can also combine the ticket for that with a ticket for a boat ride to Greenwich, which is a fun half day trip. I agree with everything Woods-comma-Elle said, and here are more things that my kids have enjoyed in London (a bit younger than your daughter, but I think an older teen would still like these too). The London Eye. Lunch at the foodstalls at Borough Market (convenient to the Tate Modern, if you plan to go there, though personally it’s not my cup of tea). The Churchill War Rooms (absolutely fascinating, and a interesting emphasis on the important role that women played in the war rooms). Fat Tire Bike tours are fun, and not overly athletically demanding. The food hall at Harrods, including getting a really fancy ice cream at Morelli’s.

      • Anonymous

        +1 on all of this. Greenwich is one of my favorite places. Don’t know if the tram over the Thames is still up from the Olympics? Worth checking. And don’t forget to see a show.

    • Jules

      We (me, my husband and our then 12-year-old son) spent a week in London six years ago and had a very good experience renting a flat through NY habitat dot com. The guy we worked with was in NY but the company has rentals in NY and Paris, also; he was very helpful in finding the best neighborhood for us.

      I would certainly recommend a flat; three people in a room for a week is a bit much and it’s nice to have a kitchen and maybe even some limited laundry capability. (In my limited experience, small flats in the UK have combined washer/dryer units in the kitchen, like dishwashers. They’re small and not super efficient but nice to have.)

      I wish I’d had Elle’s suggestions when were in London. Here’s a small recommendation: If you’re going to Westminster Abbey and that area, go to the Methodist Central Hall, across a park from the Abbey. There’s a great view of Big Ben from the upper floors, the tour is interesting (my son and I wandered in and just happened to meet a wonderful docent who gave us a private tour) and we had a very good (and insanely inexpensive, given the neighborhood) lunch in the basement cafeteria.

    • anon99

      Be sure to bring a light rain jacket, even in July, it rains frequently.

      Also I second the hop on-off bus on your first or second day there, it will give you a chance to get a good overview of the city and then decide where you want to go.

    • Anon

      Traveled two years ago with our two sons and we had a wonderful time. The London Eye is fabulous and I was very skeptical – bought tickets that allowed us preferential “boarding” and an additional video. I thought they’d be a rip-off but were totally worth it!

      We also did two nights in Paris via the Eurostar (pay the extra few bucks and go first class – again, totally worth it). Kids loved all of it.

      From London we did Stonehenge and Salisbury Cathedral as one day trip by train/bus and also Hampton Court as another. Tower of London was great before we had kids and more wonderful after. The Beefeaters are amazing with kids and the stories are so much fun! Do a boat tour of the Thames if you can – completely fabulous way to see any city is from the water. We had tea at the Orangery at Kensington Palace and my sporty Canadian boys loved it. They drew the line at the Princess exhibit, however. Second the hop-on/hop-off bus tours. Take the tube everywhere you can – the kids love it. British Museum is a must-do I think, the Natural History Museum maybe not so much. Also the boys loved the Imperial War Museum (go figure – boys!), and the Transport (?) Museum in Covent Garden, and, of all things, Fortnum and Mason!

      We stayed on Starwood Points at Le Meridien in Piccadilly Circus but honestly I think anywhere accessible by tube would be totally fine – it’s so easy to get around.

      Can you tell I’d go back in a heartbeat? Enjoy!

      • Double Hoo

        I agree with all of these suggestions, but want to plug riding the buses over the Tube depending on where you’re going. They are cheaper, fun, and more scenic for short journeys.

        Also, look into getting Oyster cards to travel around with, as you get much better rates on public transport than you do by buying tickets. You can load them up with daily or weekly passes for whichever transport zones you will be travelling within, and they work very well.

        You should also check out options for visiting or seeing a performance at the Globe Theatre.

  14. Wedding guest dress question

    Is this too much white/cream to be a viable option as a wedding guest?

    http://www.belk.com/AST/Main/Belk_Primary/Women/Shop/Dresses/FormalGowns/PRD~1501207503181624L96/Lauren+Ralph+Lauren+Cap+Sleeved+Sequined+Gown+br+.jsp?off=49&rCode=0400670094550&ZZ%3C%3EcS=28%2B3%2B4294967294%2B2%2B109%2B111%2B25%2B1%2B127%2B148%2B144%2B128%2B110%2B100%2B19%2B147%2B34%2B100&ZZ%3C%3EtP=4294916076&ZZ_PO=40&fO=Category_Path%3A%2FBelk_Primary%2FWomen%2FDresses&ZZ_OPT=Y&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524442178084&FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374302220231&bmUID=1369236996970

    • AnonInfinity

      I think that’s a good choice. You just want to avoid wearing something that looks like a wedding dress, IMO.

    • AIMS

      I’m usually pretty liberal about these things, but I probably wouldn’t wear it.

    • rosie

      I could actually see this dress being a wedding dress for a more casual wedding/bride. I would be careful wearing a long white dress to someone else’s wedding–I think you would want a lot of print or color, and the only other color in this dress is gold, which could easily be incorporated into a wedding dress. I do really like the dress, though.

    • Wedding guest dress question

      Thanks for the responses so far. I may buy it anyway for formal non-wedding occasions.

    • LH

      I would definitely not wear it. It looks pretty bride-y and could definitely be worn as a wedding dress at a more casual wedding or for an older bride. I probably would not even wear a short white-ish dress (unless it had another very dominant color on it) but I think a long white-ish dress is especially inappropriate.

  15. NOLA

    Is anybody else browsing shoes in the half-yearly sale? Haven’t seen anything I’m dying for… yet.

  16. Yes, I'm going here.

    Baby name question. I have a long name (ex. Katherine) but have always gone by a nickname (ex. Kate), ren professionally. We are considerIg naming our baby Margaret, and calling her Molly. At the risk of offending anyone with this name- is “Molly” “professional” enough to use as an adult working woman? I’ve felt “Kate” is adult, but am wavering on Molly and thinking about a first name with a more adult feel (if we use a nickname).

    Thoughts? Am I way over thinking this? I suppose she could always
    Switch over to Margaret but that’s a big change from Molly to Margaret (vs say, Meg or Maggie
    to Margaret)

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I think Molly is absolutely a professional name (I know lots of professional Molly’s where it isn’t short for anything) – but I also think there would be zero issue if she wanted to switch to Margaret once she starts her adult life. I have plenty of friends who made major changes to their names when they started working (or even in school) because what they went by was more of a family name – think switching from Lee-lee to Elizabeth or Lo to Lauren or Em to Meredith. I think that would be no big deal – and I think Molly’s a cute name!

      • January

        I think Molly is an adorable name, for what it’s worth. Just be aware that people who try to nickname little Margaret will probably call her “Maggie” or whatever until/unless she corrects them. I have a long first name and prefer to use my full name, but even though I will only answer to one of the common nicknames, people who don’t know me well do still occasionally try to use the other.

    • Anon

      I think it’s fine. IMO the only truly not-super-professional names aren’t originally names (real life example – Sparkle).

      • heh heh

        Sparkle could be professional name — for someone in the world’s oldest profession :)

    • Anonymous

      Is Molly a nickname for Margaret? I thought it was its own name. Honestly I think that is what you should be thinking of- you mention its a big change from Molly to Margaret, and that’s why I wouldn’t name her one name planning on calling her something else. I would pick the name you like because teachers, doctors, anyone who sees her name written will call her Margaret and she will always be saying “I go by Molly”

      Also Molly is a pretty big drug name right now. Something else to consider.

        • Anon

          Eh, I wouldn’t let this dissuade you. I grew up with plenty of girls named Mary Jane and none of them seem scarred for life. Unless you’re planning on naming your child Crystal Meth, I think it’s all good.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah but now no one is named Mary Jane. Just like the people who are adults now named Molly obviously weren’t named after the drug, but if they are named it when its popular, its a little weird

          • Nom de Plume Withheld for Now

            Please don’t try to speak for all Mary Janes. I am one, and I actually happen to be under age 80.

            I have been scarred for life.

          • NOLA

            Yep, there’s at least one regular poster whose real name is Mary Jane. I laughed when I read this.

        • quzie

          I don’t think it matters either. And my best friend is a “Molly” by nickname and so I learned from her that originally, “Molly” was always supposed to be a nickname.

      • TBK

        I don’t see the nickname thing being a big deal. How many guys do you know whose names are William, Matthew, Daniel, Robert, but who go by Will, Matt, Dan, or Rob? Or how many Catherines who are Kate, Katy, or Cathy? I love the idea of having a more formal first name and then a nickname for family and close friends.

      • OP

        I’m not worrie about teachers etc- I grew up being called “Kathryn” and saying, “I go by Kate” (“no, not Katie…”). It wasn’t any stranger than William “I go by Bill/Will” or Robert “I go by Bob/Rob/Robbie/bobo the clown”

        We are thinking of Molly-short-for-Margaret sO she has options as she ages- vs just Molly as the full name (fewer options).

        We also like Elizabeth, b

          • Meg Murry

            I think Molly was actually originally a nickname for Mary. I’ve never heard of Molly as a nickname for Margaret, but I think it could work. Just don’t go for Margaret if you would be upset if she decides later she’d rather be called Margaret, or one of the more traditional nicknames like Meg, Maggie, Margie, Greta, Peggy, etc.

            If you like Elizabeth, I know an Elizabeth that goes by Betsy, which I think is cute but not too cutesy for an adult, and not a very common nickname.

            And women at my company choose to go by Katie, Maggie, Cathy, Debbie, Vicky, Krissy and other -y/-ie nicknames off their longer formal name and I don’t think anyone thinks them less professional because of it – and some of them are actually pretty high up the corporate hierarchy.

        • January

          I guess I was thinking of a Catherine of my acquaintance who goes by Casey. She never had any problems telling people that she goes by Casey, as far as I know, but it’s not the first nickname that comes to most people’s minds.

          Still think Molly is really cute. Molly Elizabeth also sounds nice. (I like Margaret Elizabeth, too, but it’s a mouthful).

    • Neveah

      I have a similar name. My full name is “Margaret”, and I usually sign my name “Margaret”, but everyone calls me “Molly”.

      I use both, and I use whatever the situation seems to call for. At my previous job I always, always went by “Margaret”.

      Go for it. Your daughter can use what suits her and personality best. Just don’t name her Muhkayla, Neveah, Addison, Everleigh or Chesney.

    • Nonny

      I love the name Molly. My grandmother’s name was Mary but she went by Mollie her entire life. I think Molly can definitely be professional and is also a bit quirky these days, which I think is a good thing.

    • Godzilla

      With a name like Margaret, people will shorten it to whatever they feel like – Meg, Maggie, Marge, etc. My family calls me by my middle name at home and professionally, I go by my first name. It’s nbd.

    • TBK

      Go for it! The great thing about these older names is that they have so many nicknames. Even if she didn’t want Molly but also didn’t want Margaret, she could be Meg or Margo, or bring back Peggy, even Daisy is a nickname for Margarget. (Word is that Judi Dench calls BFF Maggie Smith “Mogs” — not sure everyone can pull it off, but if anyone can, it’s definitely the Dowager Countess!)

    • Anonymous

      I named my daughter Molly. She’s 6 months now. I like the name. I don’t think she will have a problem using it professionally … it’s her name. Every name is going to have some association with it, and those associations will change over time. For example, I know the name was out of favor for a while because it was associated with prostitution … but frankly I never knew that before I was researching the name, and I don’t think most people do either. Who knows? In 20 years Margaret could be slang for something too. Also, I have a longer first name, that kind of sounds like a first/middle but is actually one word, and while I write out my full name I always introduce myself with a shorter nickname that ends in an -y sound. It’s my name and what I’ve always been called. I think it’s ridiculous to say it’s not professional. It’s my NAME. Unless you name your kid Sunshine Rainbow or Cutie Pie Smith or something I don’t think you should worry about whether the name is “professional” enough.

        • Senior Attorney

          I actually think it would suit you, Godzilla!

          Penn Jillette named his daughter Moxie CrimeFighter, which I kind of love.

      • Anon

        I honstly went to law school with a woman named Sunshine, and when rocking a suit and killing it during our school’s oral argument contest, she appeared nothing but professional.

    • AIMS

      Everyone has opinions on baby names so take this with a big grain of salt.
      I think Molly is a great name. I don’t think most people know it is a nickname for Margaret, which makes sense since it really doesn’t have anything common with Margaret other than the M. And yes, it is associated with the drug. For my two cents, if you like Molly, just name her Molly. It’s perfectly professional and lovely. I wouldn’t name my child something I don’t plan on calling her and I wouldn’t want to go through life filling out one name on forms and answering to another. It’s one thing when it’s Liz and Elizabeth, or Kate and Katie, but Molly to Margaret just seems annoying. But, again, just my two cents.

      • Molly

        I’m a Molly. No one has ever treated me as unprofessional because of my name. It’s far enough down the list of baby names every year (hovers around 100 or so?) that there aren’t many of us at any given time. The only annoying things about being a Molly are (1) how many people say, “is that short for something?” (2) how many people upon learning my name say “I know someone with a dog named Molly!” (instead of, I have such and such friend named Molly), and (3) all those personalized trinkets and tourist traps? They appear to be made by two or three different companies, and only one of them consistently puts Molly on mugs/key chains/etc. All that to say, Margaret is a lovely name, Molly is definitely a legitimate, though less common nickname for Margaret, and Molly on its own is great too :)

  17. Men's wallet recs?

    Any recommendations for men’s wallets <$100 and can fit into a front pocket? I couldn't find any recent recommendations here.

  18. Yellow

    Has anyone been successful getting price adjustments from Nordstrom outside of the 2 week window? I never remember them having the 2 week window, and mainly shop there because of how helpful/convenient it is.

    I got a pair of shoes for full price about a month and a half ago and now it’s on the half yearly sale for 40% off (like $150!). The shoes have never been worn, were shipped to my house while I was traveling for two weeks and then I went into finals (and wasn’t going anywhere in fancy shoes). The person I spoke to on live-chat was remarkably unhelpful. She kept saying that since my size was sold out online that they wouldn’t adjust for my size. That seems strict? If I were home and able to take the shoes to a physical store I feel like I’d be allowed to return them and then rebuy them on sale- is that not true?

    This made me grumpy over lunch. Should I get over it or keep asking?

    • Bonnie

      I can see them not adjusting the price under these circumstances. A price adjustment is intended for when you buy an item and then it goes down in price, allowing you to buy it cheaper. Since the shoes are no longer available in your size, you would not be able to buy them now at a lower price.

    • MaggieLizer

      They’ll only price adjust online if the color and size are available online. You could go to a store and return them and buy a different pair of the same shoes, same size at the lower price, but I’m not sure they would hand you back the exact same pair of shoes that you just returned. Another option – the store and online stock are different, so you might want to call your local store and see if they can ship you the shoes, then you can return your current pair later.

  19. TBK

    Ugh, just got my mentee assignment for my law school’s summer mentorship program (pairing alumni with current students who are working in the alum’s city for the summer). Based on his credentials, he’s a complete superstar. I don’t feel like I have anything to offer him and, frankly, it would probably be more appropriate for him to be my mentor. On top of it all, he seems to be a super do-gooder, laid back type. Our coffee meet-and-greet is going go something like “well, after I performed open-heart surgery on the puppy and gave him back to the quadrapeligic war orphan I’m now adopting, I went back to the president’s palace where I continued advising him on the development of a comprehensive securities regulatory regime, based on my earlier research completed during my Fullbright fellowship.” And I’ll be like “oh, that’s nice. I planted a garden at a homeless shelter during ‘service day’ I was in biglaw. What did you want me to help you with?”

    • mascot

      lol. Well, you’ve practiced law longer than he has, so you probably have a thing or two to say about that. Plus, he volunteered to be mentored so he thinks he can learn something.

      • L

        +1

        Even the most brilliant superstars need guidance. You’re a lawyer, he’s in law school. He may be amazing, but you can teach him about real life actually as a lawyer.

        • TCFKAG

          Amen. Plus, sometimes the do-gooders of the world have their heads a little bit in the clouds. He may need a good perspective on the real, harsh world of practicing law from someone who won’t pull punches – and who won’t act overawed by his amazing credentials. Perhaps you can be that for you.

  21. Münich shopping?

    Shopping question:
    I am going to Münich next week, and would like some shopping recommendations, since I never seems to be able to find something on my own.
    Anyone has any suggestions?

    I’ve looked at Hebbedinger and Oska online, and would like to try them on in person (I’m small-ish, so I know it is probably not going to happen, but it would be nice to know)

  22. option binaire

    With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright infringement?
    My site has a lot of completely unique content
    I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my agreement. Do you know any solutions to help prevent content from being ripped off? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

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