Coffee Break: Mae Cross Body Bag

shopbop big event saleHave you guys checked out the ShopBop sale yet? There are so many bags on great discount, including this gorgeous, architectural, cool bag from Karen Walker — it was originally $400, but is now down to $246 with code EVENT17. The big sale has two days left, with 20% off orders under $500, and 25% off orders of $500 or more — ShopBop is a great place to stock up on pieces from classic accessories brands, including Ferragamo, LK Bennett, Rebecca MinkoffTory BurchClaire V, and Hunter. (I particularly love their jewelry collection — it’s always hip and interesting.) And, of course, the workwear — look for big discounts on brands like TheoryDiane von Furstenberg, Black Halo, Equipment, and Smythe. If you haven’t been by to check out the sale we highly recommend.   Karen Walker Mae Cross Body Bag

Update: Whoops, the bag sold out because of the major sale — note that still has a ton of bags in a wide variety of colors.

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  1. I grew up where most people were olive-skinned and generally had darker hair. I had some fuzz on my upper lip but wasn’t self-conscious about it b/c many people looked like me. I did get it lasered off as I got older (and I think it got darker and by spending so much time inside and using sunscreen, my skin never tanned even a little).

    Now, my daughter is starting to get a bit of fuzz. She is 9. We live where everyone seems to be fair (so no other girls with fuzz among her friends) and I use a lot of sunscreen on her.

    What does one do these days with younger girls and this issue? I haven’t let out a peep about it but want to have a plan for when she brings it up.

    [We have early puberty in my family.]

    • If she says something I would first talk to her about accepting her body and how it’s important to love herself, no matter what she looks like. But if she wants to do something about it I would discuss options like threading or waxing. Only if she wants to, though. I remember my mother not allowing me to shave when I was 13 and it was really upsetting in gym class. I did it anyways. So, if you think she might do something about it herself it’s better if you become involved and are supportive.

      • Does threading hurt? There is place near us that does it.

        Laser / electolysis hurts. I got good at waxing myself (never did it on anyone else) but the regrowth period was awful (I am part wookie).

        I get self-acceptance, and have accepted a lot of things about myself, but fur is not one of them. Wrinkles, gray hairs, overall shape, etc. I’m all OK with. Nothing like mixed messages from mommy . . .

        • I’ve only had my eyebrows done and it was less painful than plucking, imo. Definitely less painful than waxing.

        • FWIW, I thread my eyebrows and wax my upper lip so that may be a good option for your daughter. I agree with lane – I think you need to follow your daughter’s lead on this one. Don’t make her self-conscious but let her deal with it if she wants to. I also remember feeling terrible in gym class when I wasn’t allowed to do anything with my leg hair in junior high.

          I also raided my mom’s supply and tried to do my own thing which did not work out super well so definitely support her if she’s wanting to get rid of the hair.

        • I think of waxing like primate grooming ritual. Both men and women remove hair to fit into the tribe. Men aren’t ashamed of having beards, women shouldn’t be ashamed of having leg hair and mustaches (although both may chose to remove it for social reasons). Even if you don’t really believe this it’s a more body positive way to discuss it with your daughter. (Though I agree that you don’t want to bring up the topic unless she introduces it.)

          • I agree, but as a hairy gal myself, it is embarrassing when you are dealing with signs of puberty earlier than your friends and boys are not shaving their faces at age 9. As an adult I’m not ashamed to tell friends about a wax or laser appointment, but at a young age puberty signs can be tough. I really freaked out at the whole ‘now you are a woman’ aspect of puberty because I felt too young to be s3xualized (i.e. ‘your body is ready for a baby’) and it really scared me. Thinking of it more as teenagers and other girls have hair (and get periods and wear bras) was much more comfortable for me because they were also ‘other girls’ just like me and not yet full-fledged women. If your daughter has an older cousin or sibling, that would be helpful, but if not, this is something you can help with. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it, just let her come to you and talk about options. I wouldn’t focus too much on her being so much darker than her peers, she likely has already picked up on that, but you can point out that people are beautiful and that different features are not better or worse just different and that certain practices are just another part of grooming, like flossing.

        • Anonymous :

          I have high pain tolerance, but upper lip threading is very painful for me – a lot worse than eyebrow threading. I have to ask the threader to stop, so I can wipe the tears and take a breath.

      • Anonymous :

        I feel like the whole “love yourself” thing is just another way to shame women. It’s telling women and girls, if you care about body hair/weight/wrinkles then you’re failing to live up to yet another ideal that society is holding you to. If you have any insecurities at all then you must be ugly on the inside too.

        • I agree, although I think at that age it’s also important to encourage confidence and inner beauty. There is a healthy balance and it’s about choice, as well. I’m all about makeup and looking my best, but if I accept myself the way I am then maybe I will better accept others.

        • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

          I agree with this completely. There is nothing wrong with correcting things you don’t like about yourself/conforming to societal norms if that is what you want to do. So wax and pluck on!

    • I guess I’d see if it started to bother her, and if/when it does, I’d go through the options with her, starting with self-acceptance but also leaving room for cosmetic improvement.

    • Anonymous :

      My mom waxed my unibrow starting in 5th grade. I think that was a fine age – it wasn’t really on my radar, but shaving my legs was. If she hadn’t done it then, I think the start of middle school would also be prime time to start that kind of thing. Yeah she should love herself, but I think not wanting a giant unibrow is not mutually exclusive with that. My unibrow eventually disappeared from repeated waxing.

      • Anonymous :

        We also bleached our mustaches. That worked ok until I started wearing foundation. It is a good option if she cares about her ‘stache but is anti wax.

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      So, when I was in middle school when guys made fun of me for having a moustache. I hated it and it made me sad, but I didn’t do anything about it (and my mother wouldn’t let me). I think it was good for me as a character-building thing, and helped give me a DTGAF attitude.

      But it was still good that I started having my eyebrows threaded in high school. I still have a (light) moustache now.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      I would suggest talking to her about it, and waxing. I am central Asian, so I am hairy in certain places that are unpleasant, including my eyebrows and upper lip. I pluck my eyebrows, but plucking the upper lip brings tears to my eyes after about 5-6 hairs. Waxing hurts, but it is something you just do all at once-rip off the band-aid so to speak. I wax at home, and with some practice, you could help your daughter do this. Fwiw, my two bio sons have legit unibrows and I taught them to pluck. My 9 y/o is already shaving.

    • Don’t talk to her about it unless she brings it up first. Please.

      • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

        I have to disagree with this. She may not even realize what is happening. As a parent, you can help out with these sorts of things. If she wants to leave it, fine, but not telling her about it and waiting for her to find out the hard way seems unnecessary.

    • Please, wait for daughter to ask.

      Then…. do not do anything painful and expensive that she will have to continue her whole life every 2 weeks.

      Tinkle razors. Dirt cheap. Takes 5 seconds. Works wonderfully. Show her a video online on how to use (downward strokes at an angle, on dry skin).

      If when she older, she wants to laser it off and you want to help her pay for it, that is very nice of you.

  2. A few years ago there were several posts/threads about paying down student loans, and tactics to reduce interest accrual. Like making extra payments immediately after a payment was made, so that it went to the principal before interest had a chance to accrue, etc.

    Does anyone do this, or have other tips and tricks? I’m making my loans a priority this year, but so far seem to be spinning my interest-accruing wheels. (I’m specifically dealing with MyFedLoan or FedLoanServicing or whatever it’s called, fwiw.)

    • Anonymous :

      I used to just round up my loans (so if I owed 425, I’d send in 500 or 1000 if I was feeling flush). I found that the extra always went to principal (but you should verify). I do this with my mortgage, too. I find it easier to budget mentally if I set all recurring payments to the next even hundred or thousand.

  3. Does anyone own the Cole Haan Pinch Weekender? I love the look but it’s gotten some bad reviews on Zappos.

    • I have the canvas ones and I live in them during the summer. They do rub the top of my foot the first few days, but once they are broken in, they are really comfortable.

  4. Can anyone comment on the idea of wearing this dress to a June wedding in North Carolina? The bride’s family (my side) is Northern, the groom’s is Southern but not super traditional or old fashioned, from what I can tell. I just bought it on deep discount, and it probably is more of a winter dress but I loved the fit.

    • It’s beautiful. It does seem a little more winter-y than summer-y. But who cares, you’re not the one getting married so what you wear doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

    • Anonymous :

      I’d be concerned that the fabric is heavy and I’d get overheated, and the colors are not very seasonal, but it’s not inappropriate.

    • I don’t think it looks especially winter-y. If the fabric is too heavy that may be an issue, but it’s a lovely dress and would not have been out of place at any of the Southern weddings I have attended.

    • Important Fashion Q :

      Are there any South Carolina grads at the wedding? If so, they may love it.

      I think that the colors read Christmas / winter. The other prints that are linked to for similar dresses read more spring/summer.

      ALSO: NC is a very long state! Some parts of the state are closer to Philly than they are to the Outer Banks or Murphy. If you are in Asheville / Boone / Blowing Rock in June, the weather may be cooler, esp. at night. If you are in Pinehurst / OBX / somewhere in the east, it will be hotter, more humid, and more buggy. Are you inside or outside? My day NC summer wedding attire is fancier Lilly Pulitzer (but maybe this in another pattern if more formal / evening).

      It is a lovely dress and not inappropriate.

  5. Important Fashion Q :

    Is a black leather pencil skirt a seasonal item?

    I like it for fall and winter. I could see it at some summer events. For some reason, it seems too philosophically heavy for spring.

    Ladies, what say you on this?

    • Definitely a winter item in my book. Maybe in warmer weather if worn as an evening item / all black ensemble.

    • Brunette Elle Woods :

      I have one green and one black leather pencil skirt. I will wear them year round and I tend to wear them more often when I don’t need tights.

    • I cannot wear a leather skirt or slacks except in the winter b/c its too tight and HOT in the other month’s. Besides, if I wear them with my pumps, the men’s eyes move from my head down to my Tuchus, which is NOT where I want them to focus on. Dad wants men to respect me for my MIND, not for my body which is now very tight. Leather makes me look even more available, which is not good for a lasting relationship, Dad says. He is right b/c men just want me to take my clothes off to “see more of me”. FOOEY on that! As a partner, I do not take my clotheing off on the first night any more. FOOEY!

  6. ChicagoAnon :

    Has anyone in the Hive tried microblading their eyebrows? I’m intrigued. Aging = sparse, sad eyebrows and I’m interested in a fix that doesn’t involve shading them in every day.

    • I’m also interested in this.

      I have dark relatively thick eyebrows, but they are a bit uneven.

    • Baconpancakes :

      I was just about to ask about this! My mother just got hers done, but I haven’t seen them yet (beyond the blurry photos on her phone). I’m so fair-haired my eyebrows are basically transparent, so I’ve colored them in with pencil or powder pretty much every day since my 14th birthday. I just started getting my eyebrows dyed, but they still seem a little weak, so I still end up using pencil to fill them out and sharpen the edges. I think the aesthetician was a little more enthusiastic with the wax than I’d like, so I’ll try dying them again after they grow back out and see if that’s better, but not having to do my eyebrows for a year sounds amazing.

      Anyone know of any super fair blondes who have had this done and are happy with the results?

  7. Eye doctor question:

    I have been wearing glasses/contacts for ~20 years. Last year I went to a new eye doctor and they told me – for the first time ever – that I have an astigmatism. I have always been nearsighted but have stabilized at -5.75 for the last ~10 years or so. I totally forgot about this until I called yesterday to make my annual eye exam again and when I asked about pricing was quoted a higher price “because of the astigmatism.” Could they be misdiagnosing this so that they can charge more? Is there anything I can do other than go to another doctor? Does it really matter so long as they prescribe lenses that help me see?

    • The last few years I’ve gone in and out of astigmatism in my right eye–I have a super slight one, and sometimes the correction is better with astigmatism lenses, and sometimes not. I’d been wearing glasses/contacts for nearly 15 years before my first diagnosis. However, I’ve never heard of the eye exam itself being more expensive because of astigmatism–only the lenses. So that would strike me as a little weird.

    • FinanceJenie :

      I have severe astigmatism and my eye doctor performs additional eye pressure tests during my yearly visits. Apparently mid to severe level astigmatism can skew the regular eye pressure tests so the additional testing confirms that there are no issues.

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