Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Soft Tailored Blazer

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Hot pink is very in right now for blazers. This New Look blazer at ASOS is only $38 and comes in sizes 2-14 (with lucky sizes left). It’s also machine washable. Here’s a similar but slightly more expensive blazer. Pictured: New Look Soft Tailored Blazer

Here’s a plus-size blazer in “pink grapefruit.”

Psst: Nordstrom Rack has a “clear the rack” event going on, with an extra 25% off lots of pieces. I’m seeing Halogen blazers marked from $169 to $48,  Hugo Boss marked up to 62% off, Theory up to 75% off, Vince Camuto up to 83% off… big deals to be had, but lots of lucky sizes.

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  1. Patricia Gardiner :

    Good morning! What are your favorite sources for travel clothes for hot weather? I have the opportunity to take a course in Venice this summer for 3 weeks (squee!) and would like to find wrinkle-free, lightweight clothes that still look semiprofessional.

    • I did a course in the north of Italy (so similarly warm weather) and found people really dressed for the summer weather rather than focusing on super professional attire. I wore dresses with short sleeves (quite unstructured) and a few uniqlo striped ponte dresses with tissue weight cardigans. I meant to wear ballet flats but ended up in Toms instead as the ballet flats rubbed at my feet in the heat. Cavaet: academia so we’re never that formal.

    • I love Athleta dresses. Lots of good stuff that you can dress up for a business casual environment with a soft blazer or cardigan.

      • I totally second Athleta. Their skorts are great, as well as the dresses, for looking put together while being comfortable, especially in the heat.

    • I love silk shirts for this because they’re so breathable and light but also professional/nice looking. Grana, Everlane, and Cuyana have beautiful cuts and colors (ascending in terms of price, although I own three of Cuyana’s Silk Tees and wear them ALL the time; they’re so worth the $$). Not wrinkle-free, but I pack silk when I travel all the time and never have any issues when I roll them up and stick them in a packing cube. You can also do the shower trick if you end up with a few wrinkles.

  2. Has anybody survived or lived through a company proxy fight with an activist PE shareholder? I need some guidance on what to expect if they win. Good bad and ugly.

    • Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I LOVE Fruegel Fridays and this Fruegel hot pink blazer! For $38, it is a bargan, and even if I don’t wear it, if I get the size 2, I can give to Rosa to wear!!!!!!

      As for the OP, I know nothing, but I once dated a guy for a few weeks when I first started serveing subpeenies who worked for a HEDGE FUND. He was always mumbling about 13B’s and 13D’s which are document’s he had to file with the goverment, and he made it sound alot like the guy in Working Girl (one of my favorite movies). I did NOT keep seeing him b/c he thought I was just a dumb female, and that HE was Mr. Big Shot workeing for some hedge fund. I followed him for a while on Facebook, until I saw him post UNTRUE statements about me on his FB page. So I recomend you read up about 13B’s and 13D’s and you will probably find out information about this guy I dated (but did NOT sleep with). FOOEY on him for saying I did!

    • Hmmm…this is actually what I am doing right now, except we represent the activist. I think it really dependson the activists. Some really want to shake up the actual operations of the company, whereas others truly believe that they need to take control of the board and oust current management, and restore rationality to a badly-run operation. It’s really hard to say which type of activist you are facing without more specifics.

      If you work at a public company, you can follow all of the news/filings by the activists, in which they have to declare their intentions, by going to SEC.GOV, company filings, choose your company and look for forms PREC14A or 13D or 13D/A. That will be helpful. The Company’s responses will be on their website under press releases or in the investor relations section. Not sure if this helps, but it will help you understand the nature of the proxy fight.

      You can also google the activists and see what they have done with other companies, if they are serial activists.

    • Peter Hancock, is that you?

  3. I have had feelings for someone for six months and I’m certain they were reciprocated. I never got to be too upfront about these feelings because this person is someone I work with, but it was obvious from their behaviour that they felt the same way (sending me messages all the time, discussing very personal topics, flirting, proposing activities for us to do together). Last week the tone totally changed and they let me know that they’ve met someone else. I’m crushed. I know I did the right thing by acting cautiously given this was a colleague, but I’m kicking myself too. And now I need to literally sit beside them all day everyday (Yeah…This was the complicating factor). Support appreciated.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m sorry. This sounds so hard. It’s cliche, but it just takes time to get over. Be extra kind to yourself in the interim. Hugs.

    • Ugh. Brutal.

      I’m impressed you were able to keep things professional this long, and think it was totally the right thing to do.

      Do something really nice for yourself this weekend.

      He wasn’t the guy for you. Promise.

      • Yes, I’m reminding myself how much worse this would’ve been if I’d been more open with my feelings. Thanks for your response.

    • Ahem. Allow my Scottish grandmother: Fit’s fur ye’ll nae gan by ye. (“What’s [meant] for you won’t go past you”)

  4. Take your kid to work :

    How many of you work in places where Take York Kid to Work Day is a thing? Do you bring your kids, if you have them? At what age would you start? I work for a v. large but family friendly agency. There’s an organized TYKTW day program but most kids are four and up and quite a few are much older. People have also brought kids in on other occasions but, again, older kids, five and up. I have my own office with a door that closes and not much planned for the day when this is supposed to take place this year. I have a toddler. Assuming nothing changes and I have a relatively empty day, would it be weird to bring my toddler?

    • Anonymous :

      I think it’s a little weird. At my workplace people only bring in school age kids who are old enough to understand at least a little bit about what’s going on. With a toddler, it’s kind of like you’re just baby-sitting in your office and that seems weird.

    • The company where I work does TYKTWD. They have programs and activities all day for the kids, so they aren’t hanging out in the cube farm with folks who are trying to get work done. We have a large engineering presence on the campus where I work, so most of the activities are fun science stuff. They bring in lunch and give out company tchotchkes.

      The majority of the kids that I have seen participate are school age. I don’t recall seeing toddlers last year.

    • Weird to bring your toddler. It’s not “introduce your kid to your coworkers day” – it’s for the kids to learn about mom’s/dad’s career. Most companies that have an organized TYKTWD have a schedule of things to do, designed for elementary school and MAYBE middle school kids.

    • Anonymous :

      Totally weird. The point of the day is for your kid to shadow you and learn about what you and your company do. A four year old can do that, even if they can’t understand all the details. A two year old can’t.

    • Meg Murry :

      I wouldn’t bring a toddler for a full day. If you really want to bring your kid though, I would either plan to take it as a full or part PTO day and just stop in with the toddler for an hour or less, or have your partner, nanny, babysitter or grandparent bring them to visit and then be ready to leave when the kid is done.

      I think it also depends on if you happen to have a perfect model angel of a toddler that would be willing to sit and color in mommy’s office for a while, or if you have an average toddler that is full of energy and prone to meltdowns, tantrums, being overly honest or rather loud. Basically, if you have a POOPCUP child (read the article, link to follow, it’s funny) you might be able to get away with this, but I know my kids couldn’t handle it, and I’d prefer my colleagues not see me in the parenting trenches of dealing with a tantrum or negotiating with a terrorist toddler. Think about the reality of what is likely to happen, not the ideal of what it could be if everything went perfectly.

      One of my past companies we weren’t otherwise allowed to have our kids (or any visitors at all that hadn’t be prearranged and vetted by corporate due to safety and security reasons) in our office space at all. TYKTWD was an organized event, with a half day of stuff for kids ages 4-5, and a full (9-3ish) day of stuff for school aged kids, and permission for everyone to come in late and leave early that day.

      • Here is the article, I know Kat has referenced it more than once over at C-Moms. FYI, I don’t intend this as an insult at you, but rather as an amusing look at people we all have met (or possibly even been before we knew any better).

    • PrettyPrimadonna :

      We have this at my job, but it is only for kids 8-18 years old. It would be very strange to bring a toddler…

    • Ditto above – unless the work actually has activities that would be totally appropriate for a toddler, it’s a bit weird. I think school age & up and able to sit still/not be a distraction is a requirement.

    • Are your coworkers really going to be THAT thrilled with your toddler being there? I know you say you’ll just sit in your office -but lets be real – that’s not what mommies are like. You’re going to want to take him around to meet people or have people stop by to dote on him and baby talk with him — some of your coworkers will do it out of politeness but lets be real – no one finds your kid as interesting as you.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      At my dad’s work it was take your daughter to work day and it was all about getting women into STEM fields. I’m sure that has changed over time but it was mostly middle school and high school kids and you did a mix of listening to speeches, shadowing actual employees, touring the facilities and getting an idea of what it would be like to actually work there. It was like a career day. Not something for a toddler or even elementary school kids. There was some minimum math and science background needed to understand what was discussed anyway and elementary school kids wouldn’t have that yet.

      • The day started as ‘Take Your Daughter to Work Day’ and morphed into ‘Take Your Child to Work’. I have mixed feelings about it because I’m concerned that it would put the parents’ status on the kids. I mean, custodians definitely contribute to our work place, but when we talk about our products and all the cool things going on we never talk about them.1

        • Yes and no. I get what you’re saying. But I think the purpose of this kind of exercise is to expose kids to the big world that’s out there and let them dream a bit about what they could do. So a janitor’s kid gets to participate in the event as equally as a middle management child or a CEO child. That let’s the janitor’s kid get a glimpse into engineering or marketing or whatever and see that there’s lots of options out there and maybe if he stays in school and gets the right degree, he could get there too.

      • PrettyPrimadonna :

        As an aside, I remember being so upset every year when Take Your Daughter to Work Day came around because my mother worked at a credit union and I could never go to work with her for security reasons. Nor could I go with my dad, who worked a civillian job on a military base.

    • A toddler is too young. I actually think 5 is way too young as well. The people running the program at your office aren’t used to dealing with small children and don’t have the skills of your average kindergarten teacher. Later elementary to middle school age is more appropriate – the kid should be fairly self-sufficient and be able to take themselves to the bathroom, listen to someone talk for an hour, etc.

    • Am I the only person who is sad that Take Your Daughter to Work Day has become gender neutral? I understand that parents of little boys want to show off their kids too and I know it’s probably become less important than it was in my generation, since ~half of entering law, med, consulting, etc. classes are women now, but it’s still so hard for women in the workplace and I just really like the idea of having a day that’s just for girls and work.

      • I am 100% with you. I remember when it started as a grassroots movement, and now it’s all corporatized, standardized programs that don’t recognize that girls and women face more and different hurdles in the workplace than males.

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        *Raises hand.*

      • I’m in favor of it, to be honest, for two reasons. First, I’m not sure that we make girl’s lives easier by underlining, years before they begin their professional careers, that they will face special challenges. There is a lot of research showing that you can hurt a girl’s performance on math test by reminding them before hand of the existence of ‘girls are bad at math’ stereotypes and a girls only day seems an unnecessary reminder. Second, I’m not a fan of the boys-only day at school side effect. As a teacher, what do you chose to cover that day?

        • Wildkitten :

          bell hooks, I’d think.

        • I agree, banana.

          Also, one of the most inspiring stories (I know personally) of TYCTWD was a father who happened to have a son. The message the father wanted to send his child was gender neutral, and it would have been a shame to have the moment/lesson lost just because he happened to have a boy instead of a girl.

          • Wildkitten :

            What was the lesson? Did the son also have a mom? I am confused by this story.

    • Wildkitten :

      It’s weird to bring your kid for the whole day but it’s not weird to bring your kid for a few hours to meet folks at the office. That’s how my offices have done it with toddlers in the past.

    • Yeah I think it’s weird. It’s designed to expose kids to the workforce as an educational thing. Your toddler isn’t learning. Honestly I think it kinda takes away the point of the day, which really isn’t just hanging out with cute kids.

    • Anonymous :

      Don’t bring a toddler for TYCTWD. But do bring them by for a visit if it’s a good day for you to introduce your coworkers to your kids.

      Honestly, I think the corporate sponsored TYCTWD events are silly anyway. Most places that I have worked basically set up a room to house all the kids, teach them a bit about the industry, and then just play, snack, and watch movies. It completely missed the point and really got under my skin. For the event to be meaningful, the kid needs to be older (10+) and really observe people at work. My office is extremely family friendly but does no official TYCTWD. School age kids are common on inservice days, and younger kids come in to visit randomly or for a handful of family events, but anyone doing TYCTWD brings a high schooler for a job shadow. I appreciate that approach.

      • Wildkitten :

        This – the lesson is different if you bring in a little kid. And that lesson is yes, look at this cute kid, but also “hello co-workers this is the small human I love so much, we have lives outside of these cubicles, here is part of mine”

        • Agree! I work in tech with several parents of toddlers, and they bring them in occasionally. Makes my team feel much more friendly to parents.

  5. Anonymous :

    How do y’all deal with communicating weekly schedules “early” in a relationship (several months in)? I am not looking for a daily breakdown of what my bf is doing, just a general, I’ve got plans on T/W and am heading back to [home city] for the weekend, type of thing.

    I ask because my bf didn’t tell me until yesterday that he would be gone for the weekend. To be fair to him, he thought he had told me about his plans. He was very apologetic when I said I was disappointed I wouldn’t get to spend time with him over the weekend and I could tell he really felt bad about it. He also invited me to go with him tonight to hang with his friend (I passed, it’s boys’ night). I have no issue whatsoever with him going to his home city to see friends and family of course, it was more that I ended up super disappointed because I (wrongly) assumed that we would see each other this weekend because last we talked he was only going home on Sunday.

    Anywho, I have done a weekly check-in of sorts on Sundays in past relationships, but I don’t want this to become some chore, you know? I want us to communicate about our schedules better, but not in a super rigid annoying way. Thoughts? Am I being crazy about this? Should I go with the flow more and manage my own feelings better?

    • It sounds to me like you guys handled it well and you are being too hard on yourself. This sort of thing is a pretty normal stumbling block in relationships, especially new-ish ones as you learn about each other, but even in established ones. Your feelings are totally understandable: you were thinking one thing, he was thinking another, there was some miscommunication, you both learned something about each other, he invited you along on boys’ night to create some time together, you understandably passed….this will be easier next time – good job! It doesn’t sound like there was any malice on anyone’s part, which would be a much bigger concern.

      FWIW, I am almost 5 years married and spouse and I *still* mess this one up, albeit in smaller ways since we live together now.

      • Thank you! Definitely no malice on either of our parts.

        Everything is going really well, so of course my anxiety is kicking in and I am overthinking and over-analyzing trying not to screw anything up. He’s a peach and is always super understanding when I talk to him about how I am feeling.

    • What’s wrong with a “so, what does your upcoming week look like? Do you want to do something this weekend?” question. That’s a pretty normal question. It sounds like he forgot to tell you something, but that happens.

      • Nothing wrong with this at all! I am clearly overthinking it and getting in my own head. I will say that sometimes he doesn’t know what he is doing the following weekend (see, not a planner), but he has been really good about agreeing to a night for date night in advance if I suggest it. Thanks for the sanity check :)

      • Agree. I would not make it an official “weekly check in”- I would find that weird and it would make me uncomfortable from a relatively new SO. But I don’t think there is any harm is asking in the course of a normal casual conversation “what are you up to this week?” “Any plans for the weekend?” etc. You might have to just take the lead on asking this if it matters more to you.

    • Baconpancakes :

      You handled it fine. He’s apologetic, you’re getting over it. You seem like you’re doing pretty good on the communication front! Don’t overthink it!

      Now here’s what you shouldn’t do: steal his phone while he’s in the shower and secretly sync his calendar to yours, then after you break up “happen” to show up at all the same events, even the private parties you’re not invited to.

      My SO’s ex was a nightmare, but she did make for some great stories.

      • OMG!!! He did jokingly suggest we make a joint Google calendar, which I declined. lol

        • I was actually going to suggest sharing a google calendar… but I’m weird and share one with a few good friends in addition to my significant other.

          • I think it’s a great idea, just seemed a little intense so early on. If we ever live together or once we are a little more established, I would absolutely do this! I have done it in past relationships and it works really well.

          • Baconpancakes :

            Not weird! My best friend lives three hours away and travels a lot for her hobby, so we share our calendars to try to plan times when we can get together. Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I’m ok with sharing all those details with a select group of people.

        • Baconpancakes :

          My SO and I have (agreed-upon!) permissions to view each other’s Google calendars, but that happened a solid year after we got serious.

          He’s not a planner, either, but I am a super planner, so it’s really helpful for me to know when I can schedule brunch or when he’s at networking events, and we’ve compromised. I leave some weekends and most nights completely empty so we can be more spontaneous, and he pays attention to the planned events I invite him to on his calendar.

  6. another anon :

    Dear people who voted for Trump, who is now tweet-taunting North Korea into nuclear war:

    I hate you.

    That is all.

    • Anonymous :

      Seriously. That “Trump gets a taste of pulling the trigger!” headline on CNN was not a pleasant thing to wake up to.

    • Whats it going to take for someone to take his twitter account away? I swear we’re living in an SNL skit these days but there are real lives at stake.

      I know the tweeting and stuff are a distraction from other crazy sh*t he’s doing but its starting to worry me. It hasnt even been three full months yet =(

    • nasty woman :

      Similarly, people who refused to vote for HRC and blasted her for being a “neoliberal war hawk” and threw themselves on the altar of St. Bernie:

      I hate you.

      How do you like this war hawk?

      • Anonymous :

        Or the Jill Stein-loving hippies who thought HRC would be “bad for the environment.” GTFO.

      • Can we give that a rest already? The majority of Bernie supporters ended up backing HRC on election day. Those that ‘threw themselves on the altar of St. Bernie’ were a vocal minority. Only 5-10% of Bernie supporters (in pre-election polls) voted third party. Besides, Bernie was campaigning for her hardcore after he conceded.

        We can accept that how they treated Clinton was unfair/she would have been a hell of a better president than Drumpf but lets not pretend she was a perfect candidate/her campaign was without flaws. Those two ideas are not GD mutually exclusive.

        • No one is pretending she would be perfect. But the margin of her loss is very much the same margin as voted third party.

        • Anonymous :

          I agree with most of what you said (including that HRC was a flawed candidate) but that 5-10% of Bernie supporters is pretty significant. She lost in Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania by less than 1% and she would have won the election with those three states.

          • I totally get why that is a significant margin that made a huge difference at the end of the day. I just dont like that all Bernie supporters are being lumped into this group of people that voted third party when MOST people, including myself, voted for Clinton at the end of the day despite the every poll under the sun saying she had a 85-92% chance of winning (I think that played a large role in people voting third party actually). Plus what wouldve made an even bigger difference was if 50% of the people that didnt even vote actually voted – I dont get why more attention isnt being paid towards those people.

          • nasty woman :

            I do not understand how you can read my comment which very specifically refers to a certain subset of voters and pretend that I am talking about “all Bernie supporters.”

            You are misrepresenting me to make a point. Stop it.

            My comment does not bash Bernie or his supporters in general. The purpose of the comment is to point out the stupidity of not voting for HRC/against Trump (however you want to look at it) because you think HRC is too much of a “war hawk,” when the alternative was the Mango Mussolini. It’s like whining that you can’t get a reservation at Pre Se and choosing to starve instead of eat somewhere else. It’s not logical.

        • Seriously, I’m tired of this Bernie bashing. HRC’s campaign shouldn’t have treated him like sh*t and then expected to win his diehard fans over. It’s like human behavior 101 – don’t piss off the people that may need help from. Don’t blame Bernie for it either since he campaigned hard for HRC. This non-stop argument is just a distraction from the misogyny of Trump voters.

          • I do blame those supporters, though, for basically caring more about their ride or die BFF Bernie (who is problematic in his own right) not getting the nomination than preventing a Trump presidency. I do not blame most Bernie supporters. I do not blame Bernie (who I like a lot). I do blame the Bernie Bro male and female supporters I keep seeing in my newsfeed, in my friend circle, etc. I blame them for telling me repeatedly that Hillary was “just as bad” and having the audacity to be shocked that Trump won, or the audacity to complain about it now.

            Also: In case you hadn’t noticed, there is and was a lot of misogyny among the Bernie Bros of both genders (note: not all supporters of Bernie are Bernie Bros).

            Come at me. I don’t care.

          • Anonattorney :

            I agree with ELS. +1 million.

          • Amen, 9.57. The abdication of responsibility on the part of the DNC was disgusting and dismissive: always pushing the Orange Dictator line in order to try to morally pressure progressives into voting Hillary instead of, ooooh, I don’t know, listening to what those people were saying? They didn’t learn in 2000 to pay attention to the left of the party, and they haven’t learned from 2016 either. A (very) few fringe voters decided to let the country burn quickly rather than slowly, and suddenly the DNC loss is the fault of the (largely made-up) “Bernie Bro”. Great- now they never have to adjust their bland, status quo program to suit their actual voters.

        • Yeah, not getting off that easy. My understanding is that she lost in FL by the margin of people who *wrote in* Mr. Sanders. There is responsibility here and we’re not going to forget what third party candidates caused us to be where we are now.

          • What is this alternative a** fact? She lost FL by the margin of people that did write ins in general – not who just wrote ‘Mr. Sanders’. People were also writing in Harambe, Selena Gomez, Jeb Bush etc. 65k left it blank and 82k put in write ins.

        • More Bernie voters turned out for HRC (almost all of us) than Hillary supporters who voted for Obama. HRC lost literally millions of votes compared to Obama in both of his elections. This was a problem with her campaign strategy and with the DNC not with the progressive branch of democratic voters.

          • Anonattorney :

            And misogyny – but whatever. Let’s gloss over that whole sexism thing.

          • MargaretO :

            And misogyny, and hatred for her husband, and racism, and xenophobia, and many many other factors. But she and her campaign staff only had control over how they ran their campaign, and they majorly flubbed it. I voted for her and was devastated when she lost, but I also think its crucial that we take a self critical look at why the democrats lost this election so that we can avoid it in the future. Messing up the ground game in the midwest/rust belt was a major mistake and we must not make it again if we hope to unseat the republicans in 4 years.

          • Anonymous :

            +1. The DNC really screwed up this election. She was a very flawed candidate.

          • MargaretO :

            I highly recommend this article which goes into specifics about how this all played out:

        • nasty woman :

          Anondc, you completely misrepresented what I said and built yourself a nice straw man. I very intentionally referred to a specific subset of Bernie voters. I never ever said “all Bernie supporters.”
          Also, I never ever said anything about her being a perfect candidate. (And further don’t see how that fact takes away from what I wrote.) I was making a very narrowly tailored comment about a very specific criticism lobbed at HRC by a very specific subset of Bernie voters, who, as you admit, were vocal.

      • Marshmallow :

        I’m with Nasty. She’s not bashing all Bernie supporters, just the ones who refused to vote HRC. I know a few of them them (two Stein voters, too) and they are nearly as difficult for me to process as Trump voters.

        • Third party voters are more difficult for me to process than Trump voters. At least Trump voters have views that are very different than me. They are pro-life, pro-gun, pro-invading other countries in the name of ‘national security’, etc. I may not agree with those views but I can understand that people have them and they voted for a candidate that shares them (or at least professes to). The Bernie and Stein voters who refused to come around voted for a candidate who had no statistical chance of winning and therefore helped a man who has views who are diametrically opposed to their own win the presidency. That just does not compute for me. I think Trump voters are way more logical.

          • +1.

          • Don’t you understand that these people are trapped? They are represented by neither candidate, and as long as they keep voting for the lesser of two evils, they will only ever be offered the lesser of two evils. Basically if the left keeps voting for the DNC, the DNC has no incentive to change or incorporate the left because they will fall in line anyway. They can even claim they have these people’s support. How long do you want them to keep perpetuating a system that is moving their choices further and further away from their beliefs and values? Until the DNC is the modern GOP and the modern GOP are bona fide fascists?

          • lost academic :

            Why aren’t you also mad, though, at the MUCH larger percentage of people who did NOT vote? How are they different from 3rd party voters?

      • +1 to this and the OP’s comment.

    • On a related note…

      Any comments from Trump voters about his current aggressive, international threats/bombings? Are you concerned, or is this what you want and think it is worth it?

    • I saw a meme the other day that on the top had a long caravan of what I assume was some sort of terrorist group, guns in the air, looking festive with the overlay “ISIS under Obama” and then on the bottom of a picture of a crater with the overlay “ISIS under Trump and Mattis.” Except the crater in the bottom picture is was a crater IN ARIZONA.


    • Baconpancakes :

      BUT HER EMAILS!!!1111

    • Right there with all of you including YES BERNIE SUPPORTERS YOU HAD A ROLE IN THIS.

      • NOT ALL BERNIE SUPPORTERS voted third party- stop lumping us all together please!! Christ.

        • my god, it’s #NotAllMen, Bernie style.

        • No one in this thread lumped you all together.

          A Bernie supporter who backed HRC once she got the nomination bc, like it or not, either she or Trump was going to get elected and i wanted no part of Trump

  7. Baconpancakes :

    I posted this morning on yesterday’s coffee break on accident – oops.

    Repost: Anyone have microblading done or know anyone who has?

    I’m so fair-haired my eyebrows are basically transparent. I just started getting my eyebrows dyed, but they still seem a little weak, so I still end up using pencil to fill them out and sharpen the edges. I think the aesthetician was a little more enthusiastic with the wax than I’d like, so I’ll try dying them again after they grow back out and see if that’s better, but not having to do my eyebrows for a year sounds amazing. BUT it’s expensive and I am not really great with pain, and I’m worried that my white blonde eyebrows on top of the drawn eyebrows will look weird.

    Anyone know of any super fair blondes who have had microblading done and are happy with the results?

    • I’m in the same boat as you… really light blonde, eyebrows included. Waxing isn’t an option for me because I am so reactive. My current routine is tweezing and then filling in brows with a powder or pencil.

      I decided against microblading for a couple of reasons:

      1) More than I’m willing to spend. My quote was $850.
      2) Was advised to continue to dye eyebrows so to avoid blonde vs. darker hairs contrast (as you also mention)
      3) Can last up to 1-3 years. Not sure I want to commit to an eyebrow shape that long.

      During my consult, she told me not to expect pain… she said the experience is similar to threading.

      I also sensed that she was hesitant to work with someone with such fair skin/light hair. I’ve run into this before (makeup consultations, electrolysis) and it always gives me pause. I don’t want to be a guinea pig!

      • Baconpancakes :

        Well, I guess that saves me a chunk of change. I’m considering dying it myself at home with a Godefroy’s kit to save the salon costs, since the only place that tints is the place with the overenthusiastic waxer.

        • If you have an Ulta nearby, check out the Benefit brow bar there

        • I use Godefroy’s at home. It works very well for me. You may want to leave the dye on for half the recommend time your first time doing it.

        • Ooh, I didn’t know this product existed. I’ve been trying to mix up small amounts of dye to paint on my random gray strands around my face and temples, the capsules look like they would make it a lot easier.

        • I use regular old home hair dye on my brows, every 2-3 weeks. I just mix a dab of color and toner in a little cup, and a single $9 box lasts a year.

  8. Professional Flats :

    Sale alert

    Recent posts asking about comfortable professional flats led me to look at the Rockport line, that was recommended highly by a regular poster on this site. I have bought Total Motion Rockport heels before, recommended here, and they are great and comfortable. I just ordered FOUR (yikes!) pairs of their flats for less than $150 total. Each pair costs more than $100 on Nordstrom’s website.

    Rockport Total Motion Adelyn ballet[keyword_text]&utm_campaign=[campaign]&gclid=Cj0KEQjw5sHHBRDg5IK6k938j_IBEiQARZBJWqxeK1IiZa7VSPXqHb1xjOovMBM1_tce3JcT31ToKFkaArwo8P8HAQ

    There is also another group of the same flats, with different colors/embossed styles, that you can also find on the website.

    I bought black leather embossed croc, grey suede, wine suede, and python flats. Several styles are on sale, and then you get additional 30-40% off for buying more pairs. You should also get free shipping automatically, or look for a code. And Ebates gives you an additional 4% off.

    The shape is flattering for me. Kind of a cross between almond toe and pointy toe. NOT your traditional ballet shaped flat, which I don’t care for.

    This is a great price.

    • Ooooh I love these! Does anyone know how their sizing typically runs?

    • That was me! Yay! Glad you like them!

      I’ve always joked that I’m a 9 3/4 size shoe (which of course doesn’t exist), so sometimes I size up or down. I consistently wear a 9 1/2 in Rockport.

  9. Hi all, I’m considering making massages a regular thing but thinking about whether the expense is justified. For those of you who get a professional massage monthly or even more often, what benefits do you notice? Is it worth it?

    • I did monthly massages for a while, and while they were relaxing, they didn’t help my upper back (traps/rhomboid muscles) as much as actively stretching a few times everyday for a few seconds did. Ultimately I cancelled my monthly massages and do them once a quarter now because monthly wasn’t worth it for me. Maybe you can try monthly massages for three months and see how you like it?

    • I’ve done one every 4-6 weeks for the past couple of years (can’t remember how long). The regular massage addressed a lot of the tight, lock-up muscles in my back, so that my own stretching is actually useful. I’ll probably be moving to less often as maintenance, since I’m not have issues develop in between appointments. Before, it was nice to have something scheduled regularly, so I wouldn’t have to wait to get in after something had already flared up.

    • Marshmallow :

      I go monthly at Massage Envy so it’s pretty affordable. I find it worthwhile because I have a lingering hip injury and it really helps loosen up my tight muscles I can’t get myself through stretching. Frankly the massage itself is not always relaxing or fun but I have a lot less pain since I started going.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I think it really depends on the practitioner. I have had a lot of massages that felt good but didn’t make a big change in my life, but I’ve known one masseuse who was just… incredibly gifted. I don’t know how else to put it. She *got* things about my body that I myself didn’t know. It wasn’t just that my muscles felt better after a massage with her, it’s like *I* was improved. Not to be hippie-dippy, but she had this wonderful understanding of the way physical and emotional/mental things intwined and so she’d say something like “the work I did today might leave you feeling a bit [whatever] but then [whatever]” and she was always right. Damn I miss her.

    • Anonymous :

      I did this for a few years with no regrets. It did help prevent knots from building up. Toward the end of that period, one therapist took what she called an “orthopedic” approach (think extra deep issue/intense), which led me subsequently to complete a series of ten “rolfing” sessions, sometimes called “structural integration.” Each rolfing session was even more expensive than a regular message, but for me it had much longer lasting effects. I’m now a couple of years past the rolfing and haven’t felt need for a massage since then. It can seem a bit hippie-dippy, but it worked for me.

  10. This is a difficult one… I burn easily in the sun. My poor chest (anything above my shirt) has suffered the worst and now I’m using a retinoid there to reverse the damage.

    Suggestions for light, cool (no polyester) summer tops and dresses (with at least a bit of sleeve) that cover the chest area? If there are sleeves, it’s a v-neck. If the neckline is high, there are no sleeves. Not necessarily office wear, just casual everyday wear, and maybe something for going out for drinks with friends. It’s possible to get a sunburn late in the evening here because of the midnight sun.

    I just can’t find high necklines for summer! Help! (Yes, I’m using La Roche-Posay 30 or 50 spf… I still manage to burn every summer)

    • Something in a boatneck?

    • I go with high neckline, sleeveless dresses and throw on a lightweight cardigan when i’m outdoors.

    • Veronica Mars :

      Hats. Get some cute, floppy straw or summery hats and wear those when you’re in direct sunlight. You can take them off indoors, but it will save your chest/shoulders.

    • Maybe try a t-shirt dress? I also like j crew’s perfect tees, which they make with crew necks.

      • Yes, I have one I use at home. It’s wonderfully comfortable. I’m too old to look cool in one in public :/

    • I am hoping someone has a suggestion for linen (or silk) :D or another material that doesn’t feel and smell sweaty

      • If you’re willing to pay up, there’s a beautiful catalog called Poetry that does all natural fibers (tons of linen in their summer line). LLBean, Talbots, Sundance and Boden usually have some linen too. LL Bean also has a ton of seersucker, which I love in the summer!

        I second the suggestion to wear a scarf to cover whatever you want to wear with a pretty normal neckline. And frankly, if you burn that easily, accept that you really, really should not be in the sun and wear a hat and cover yourself. I used to tan, but after I stopped being an athlete in college, and became an office jock, I am a very special-glowy shade of white that absolutely cannot be in the sun, period. I cover myself. I have survived seeking shade, wearing proper clothing and saying no to things that will not go well (full days at a beach with no shelter, for instance). Good luck!

        • I stopped trying to tan 15 years ago, sigh. I live so far up north that we have midnight sun. The last few times I burned was when I was out eating and having drinks with friends late in the evening and it was unexpectedly sunny. Moving indoors wasn’t an option because sun is so rare!

      • Yes! I just commented something similar upthread, but I’ve been wearing exclusively silk shirts lately and don’t get nearly as sweaty as I used to. Depending on your price range, Grana, Everlane, and Cuyana all have beautiful silk in a number of cuts. I’m wearing Cuyana’s silk tee right now and it hits right at my collarbone–a little more than I normally spend on clothes but the fabric, drape and fit are so beautiful that I bought two more within a week of getting my first one.

      • Three dots has some crew neck and boat neck long sleeved tops. Mostly tencel/viscose, I think.

    • Marshmallow :

      Maybe check out Athleta, EMS, or REI for clothes with UPF? I also have a great top from Lululemon called the “Runbeam hoodie” that is super lightweight but has UPF and keeps me cool and non-sunburned. I wear it nearly everywhere outside all summer. Looks like it’s currently discontinued but there are lots of second-hand ones on Poshmark and similar sites.

      I’m super fair and freckly so I feel you on this concern. Solidarity!

      • pugsnbourbon :

        There’s a new line out from Lulu that has SPF – take a look at the Mind Over Miles long sleeve and the Swiftly Tech hoodie.

    • Lands End has swim coverups made of swimsuit material that are spf 50. Also, consider wearing scarves to cover up your chest?

    • I had laser treatments to repair sun damage to my chest / décolletage area so I know what you mean. After the laser treatments I had bruising and couldn’t find tops that covered that area completely, so I started wearing my tops backward. The back neck on most tops is much higher than any boat neck or ballet neck front neckline.

      You might have to carefully remove the tag if it shows through or bugs you, but it totally works. Try it.

      • Also for linen clothing with modest necklines check out Flax and Eileen Fisher. If you’re comfortable with eBay and know your measurements, that’s a good way to get EF pieces for less. Flax isn’t as expensive to begin with.

      • That’s a great idea! Would you recommend the laser?

        • I am mixed on the laser. It really worked but I didn’t get to perfect, and I was definitely idealizing perfect. It hurt and I had red blotches afterward that lasted 2+ weeks (hence the backwards shirts)

          But looking at photos of me before, my chest is definitely less red than it used to be. I’m sure I continue damaging it (some sun exposure is inevitable) and some of the redness is just old stuff coming to the surface.

          If you are going to do it, you have to read a lot about which lasers will work and how. I went to a laser center here in the Bay Area run by a nurse. It was not a spa-like experience, and I don’t think those “lunchtime” spa like laser treatments would have made a difference.

          Chest redness is little tiny capillaries that come to the surface of the skin in order to repair years of sun damage. The only way to get rid of them is to burst them with a laser, hence the red splotches (they call it bruising). I think if I had stuck with it I would have gotten to pretty ideal, but I just didn’t like living with the bruising. I am a bit of a bleeder generally so I might have had more brusing than someone with heartier blood.

    • Viscose… do you find it sweaty? It’s difficult to tell from online pics, but I found some dresses on Asos that coukd work.

    • You can also look for websites catered to Muslim women, like East Essence or the like. Turkish clothing, even. Western style clothing with high necks, full sleeves.

    • Coolibar! I also burn easily (very fair with freckles) and I’ve been wearing a lot of their stuff lately. It’s designed to be worn in the heat so most of it breathes very well. The style tends to lean modest and some items are a bit frumpy, but I’ve been pleased. I’m 30, fwiw.

  11. Cat food variety :

    Do you mix up your cat’s food or give them the same thing every day? My cat is picky and we’ve been giving her the food she likes every day for months now, but I wonder if that’s a bad idea and if she needs more variety. The brand is pretty high-quality, but she likes just ONE flavor…

    • We rotate between kibble and wet food – so one day kibble, next day wet (tin split into two servings). The wet food helps his digestion and the kibble helps keep his teeth clean. It’s the same flavour though as the cat won’t eat fish (I know…I know…he’ll beg for salmon after dinner but won’t eat whatever is in cat food)

    • I wouldn’t make changes if it’s wet food, high quality, she likes it, and is picky. Our cat used to eat anything but has IBD now and now any foods we tried in the past can be triggers for his IBD/inflammation. Limiting to just a couple types in the past would have made it much easier to fix his diet (IBD is becoming really prevalent in cats).

      I’d avoid dry food. It’s the equivalent of junk food. You’re better off with a real dental routine if that’s why you feed your cat dry food.

    • Routinely changing what your cat eats can actually be harmful to the cat (not a rotation like Cb says, but actually changing it). Cats have very sensitive tummies, and any switch in food is suggested (by my vet) to be gradual, by mixing old food and new and changing the proportions to avoid upset and yarking.

      As long as your cat food is of high quality and contains all the nutrients she needs, whether she’s getting more than one type of protein (i.e. she likes the chicken kind but not the salmon) isn’t really a big deal, in my experience and according to my vet.

      (Can you tell my kitties are picky princesses?)

    • I have one really picky cat (who is an insulin-dependent diabetic) and two that will eat almost anything. We buy variety packs of the Fancy Feast Classic (seafood and poultry/beef) and Fancy Feast Primavera and just grab different cans from the boxes. This generally keeps the picky diabetic cat interested enough that he will eat most of his food. I had a difficult time finding food that was low carb and that the diabetic cat would eat, so I’m not changing the routine. If you are feeding your cat wet food and she likes it, I wouldn’t switch it up unless she decides she is sick of that flavor.

      • What is the benefit of wet food? Our kitty is not that picky (eats pretty much any kind of kibble) but she suddently went from LOVING wet food to not wanting to go anywhere near it (same brand and flavor). It started to smell gross, so we stopped giving it to her. Vet said wet food is essentially candy, so not a big deal. I’m still not sure what caused this but kitty is otherwise healthy. Has anyone else had this experience?

        • I haven’t had this experience, but a high-quality wet food is actually really good for cats for a number of reasons.

          We rotate between wet and dry (cost being the reason — we have inherited more cats, and feeding them exclusively wet food is cost prohibitive for us). Our vet likes wet food because it gets them more water (we also have a fountain to encourage drinking). It also more closely mirrors the way that they would get their food naturally, and is less processed (depending on the type you buy) than kibble. Especially if you have a cat with urinary crystal/inflammation issues, wet food tends to have fewer empty carbs.

          I’m not team anti-kibble entirely. But both types of food that we give our cats are grain-free, high-quality food. I wouldn’t mine (personally) Purina or the like, based on my conversations with my vet.

        • Wildkitten :

          Dry food is good for their teeth, wet food is good if they don’t drink enough water otherwise.

        • My understanding is that dry food is loaded with carbs like rice and corn – something that cat’s don’t need and that they wouldn’t consume in the wild. Cats are more likely to become dehydrated, become overweight (dry food is more caloric and cats often have all-day access to it). It can also lead to them getting diabetes as they age. When one of my cats was diagnosed with diabetes, my vet practice strongly recommended that I switch all three cats to wet food because it is nutritionally better for all of them. If your vet says otherwise, then I’d just listen to her/him. Feeding them exclusively wet food is expensive and a huge pain – my cats wake me up at 6:30 every morning to feed them, and we have to pay a pet sitter to visit twice a day when we are out of town.

    • We give ours the same dry food every morning and the same wet food every night. Dry food is good for their teeth. Wet food has more protein and fewer carbs for our lazy kitties.

    • lost academic :

      Vets consistently say you are not supposed to vary your cat’s food much. Cats are not typically like people in that regard. The better/worse for wet/dry/other ingredients is going to be dependent on your cat’s specific health needs – I don’t hold much for people who swear ONE particular way is ALWAYS best for ALL cats. Find what works for your cat or cats, consult with your vet, go from there, adjust based on health markers as they change over time/age. Don’t worry about what others are doing.

  12. Or a Breton top?

  13. So I’m on the hunt for a non-wedding gown wedding gown. I’d really like to stay under $750 for my “wedding dress” because any more than that and I’d want to wear it more than once and I plan to keep my future husband ;)

    I actually bought a beautiful Adrianna Papell dress that I thought was PERFECT online but unfortunately was way too dark in person for my skin tone (link to follow)

    Does anyone have any brilliant ideas on how to pull this off besides to stalk Nordstrom? Any other places I should be looking?

    Thanks Hive!

    • What kind of gown are you looking for? Any particular style or color?

    • Do you specifically want a gown that doesn’t look bridal or is just the price point you’re concerned about? Because my wedding gown from a bridal store (and not a chain store like David’s either) was around $700. I think you might also be surprised at the diversity of dresses in bridal shops. They’re not all fluffy princess gowns. It’s probably worth checking out one or two.
      Also check out BHLDN. The price is probably higher than what you want, but they do have some dresses under $750.

    • less expensive wedding gown :

      A white bridesmaid dress might fit the bill. Previously, I would have recommended J. Crew, though they’re no longer doing bridal. That said, I’m sure there are a lot of pre-owned options from them on eBay or online consignment sites. BHLDN could also be a good choice (either from them, or, if they’re outside of your price range, brands they sell but via eBay or consignment).

    • Rent the Runway, if you’re ok with it. I have my eye on the Theia Heaven on Earth gown and it rents for $75. Now I just need my bf to propose before they take it out of circulation ;)

    • Diane Von Furstenburg. That’s what I did.

    • Baconpancakes :

      If you’re not adverse, look into a secondhand wedding gown. Preowneddresses, oncewed, stillwhite, even tradesy. I’m planning on trying on dresses in stores to figure out what I like, and if the dress I want is too expensive, looking for it secondhand. (If it’s a $300 dress I’d probably get it new.)

    • Check out Christy Dawn – she’s an LA designer that uses deadstock fabrics & her wedding line is in your price range. I think her stuff is beautiful if you’re going for a bo-ho-ish look.

      • Looks like the one I’m thinking of is currently sold out, but I’d contact her if you like it – I did that on another dress and they were responsive:

    • Wildkitten :

      BHLDN. Nordstrom and sort by color.

    • BCBG–even though I believe they just declared bankruptcy–are still around for now and they make some evening gowns in white/ivory that would make beautiful wedding gowns. Congratulations!

    • Anonymous :

      I’m also confused as to what you actually want. Do you want a wedding gown for less than $750 or do you want a dress to wear to your wedding that does not look like a wedding dress? (ie, short and colorful?)

      Bridesmaid dresses (most come in white or ivory, if you want)

      I know someone who shortened and dyed their wedding dress after the wedding, so that it was wearable after. You’d have to make sure the fabric content would accept dye, though. Polyester won’t.

    • Topshop just released a wedding dress collection. Modcloth has a lot of long white/cream/pale pastel dresses. Most bridesmaid dresses can be ordered in white or cream.

    • In addition to the Nordstrom website, try Nordstrom Rack, Saks, Off Fifth, Neiman Marcus, Last Call, Yoox, and The Outnet. Once you find a dress, make sure you check Amazon and the 6pm website to see if they’re selling it for less. I found my wedding dress (a non-white evening gown) at Neiman Marcus and then found it for half-price on 6pm.

  14. Fun Friday question – what item of clothing or beauty product do you wear/use regardless of whether it’s in style at the moment? I was reading the thread about nude-for-you flats, and while I don’t wear that color, I live in round-toe ballet flats and don’t have any plans on giving them up even if pointy toes are in style. Also, under those flats, I wear bright brightly colored polish on my toes year round because it makes me happy :) What are your never-give-up items?

    • Ooh, fun! I could literally just list all my clothes here because I’ve unintentionally fallen into quite a uniform. I completely ignore color trends; while I love window shopping when it seems like everything is in shades of peach or kelly green or whatever, I unintentionally never wear anything but black or white. Even when I’ve bought a shirt I like in a fun color, I put it on in the morning and immediately take it off because it just doesn’t feel right on me. And of course white after labor day.

      I also wear tank tops/tee shirts in light fabrics year round. People have called me out on it (rude!), but my apartment and work are both overheated in the winter so I often find myself wearing a tank top under a winter coat because I’d be sweating all day in a long sleeved shirt.

    • Black eyeliner on the top lid, forever and ever, no matter what.

    • Straight-leg jeans. No skinnies, no flares, I don’t care what’s “in” at the moment. Skinnies make my size 11 feet look like boats and I just can’t with flares.

    • Baconpancakes :

      Pearl stud earrings, moccasin loafers, my two-toned gold and silver watch (and yellow gold in general), a medium-weight scarf from India wrapped once around my neck in cold weather.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      Round toe shoes/flats- NOTHING with a super pointy toe. Maybe a little point, but otherwise I forever and ever think it looks like I’m going for the Wicked Witch of the West look. YMMV…

      Skinny pants. My legs/butt are both pretty small and I’ve found very few pairs of bootcut pants that don’t look like I’m playing dress up in my mom’s closet. Suit pants included.

      Fit and flare dresses forever.

    • FANNY PACK! Just kidding, I just like saying fanny pack. They can pry my round-toe ballet flats, capri pants and statement necklaces out of my cold dead hands. (Not the bubble statement necklaces, I just have always liked substantial neckwear for whatever reason.)

    • Lipstick. I skipped the gloss trend entirely.

    • MargaretO :

      I have a huge collection of Yemenite/Moroccan/Iran/some other MENA jewelry and kind of similarly “ethnic” (ugh that word) scarves. As far as I’m concerned they never go out of style and I drape myself in them almost every day. I have been told I look like a kooky art teacher and I don’t care!

    • Anonymous :

      Round toe shoes for me, too. My toes just don’t do pointy and I stopped trying in my late 20’s.

      Gold jewelry.

      Earthy colors.

      Flared leg capris. They are just so flattering on me, and I hate wearing shorts (so they are practical in the summer).

    • Not That Anne, The Other Anne :

      Flats or very low heels, usually in a rounded toe. I have dancer’s feet, and if my choices are wear trendy shoes or keep dancing en pointe for a few more years, I’m going for the non-trendy shoes.

  15. Education on bottom of resumes? :

    I was reading yesterdays post and I saw the post about when to put your work experience on top of your education. I didn’t know this was done!

    I’m one year out of undergrad, I have related internships, but I’m also going to grad school (in a slightly different field) in the fall. When do you put your education at the bottom of your resume?

    • that’s what the entire thread yesterday was about…. short answer, you are just out of/still in school, you have years before you should even consider moving your education below your work experience.

    • For recent grads, you should still keep your education at the top of your resume. You switch it a number of years after graduation when you feel your work experience has more to say about you as a professional than your degrees.

    • Wildkitten :

      When your work experience instead of your education is what will get you the thing you are applying for.

    • I mean . . . Did you read all the follow up answers to this exact question yesterday?

    • Anonymous :

      Leaving education at the top of a resume can be a really law-school specific thing. Go read the Ask A Manager blog post that was recommend.

  16. NoVA residents, what are your favorite restaurants in the area?

    I’ve lived all over the country, but I’m a little frustrated with restaurants here. I genuinely love mom & pop/hole in the wall/neighborhood places where you can get great food without a lot of fuss. I suppose because of the price of cost of living here, that’s not as common as I wish it were.

    I’m pretty over the $35, farm-to-table, Edison bulb, “handcrafted”-everything trend. (Read: if I see one more menu proclaiming “handcrafted cocktails,” I will lose it haha. Unless we’re talking about frozen margaritas, all mixed drinks are crafted by human hands.) I’m dreaming of my favorite neighborhood haunts from previous locales – the neighborhood Italian joint in New York, the soul food spot in Alabama, etc.

    What are your go-tos? Thank you!

    • Pupatella fits your bill perfectly if you’re into pizza! Lots of good Asian in the ‘burbs. $20 Diner at WaPo has good suggestions, too.

    • I love Southside 815 in Alexandria. It’s just south of Old Town. It has really good but still fairly basic southern food…think fried green tomatoes, po boys, etc. It’s a no frills kind of place that still has great food. Their brunch is excellent. Best Irish Coffee I’ve ever had, and a delicious dill pickle bloody mary (I realize this comes a little close to the hand-crafted line, but they don’t make any proclamations about it). I’ll try to think of others, but I’m drawing a blank!

    • My response seems to have gotten lost. Try Southside 815 in Alexandria for delicious southern food.

    • Hard Times Cafe. A local chain of chili parlors. The Old Town Alexandria location is the original one, founded in 1981 and will scratch your hole-in-the-wall itch. Four kinds of good chili, great big burgers, great wings. Family friendly. Not expensive – I think the most expensive thing on the menu is a $16 steak. Not all froo-froo, hand crafted, local, organic, blah blah blah. Just nice food in a casual atmosphere. Award-winning chili.

    • I’m kind of in-between go-tos right now because I have been cutting wayyy back on eating out, but most of my ideas come from the Washingtonian cheap eats list.

    • Get the Washingtonian Cheap Eats list. In NoVA, my very favorites are: Amoo’s (McLean-ish, Persian, run by the cutest, nicest family), all of the Vietnamese places in the Eden Center shopping center, but especially Huong Viet (Fairfax-ish), Ravi Kebab (Arlington), and Queen Amnasia in Crystal City. For Italian, Olazzo in Silver Spring is the jam.

    • Faccia Luna in Alexandria is one of my go-tos.

    • If you like seafood, Captain Pell’s or Chasin’ Tails.

    • Ravi Kabob is fairly run down (dirty? – though I hope not) looking — is that appealing to you??

    • pugsnbourbon :

      Since we’ve moved away, I’ve had actual dreams about Lemongrass, near Van Dorn. Incredible Thai food.

      We also spent a lot of time at the “second happy hour” at the Mark Center Clyde’s. 100% not a mom-and-pop place, but we’d come home on Friday, take a 2-hour nap, and then head over at 10:00 pm.

    • Anonymous :

      Seconding Queen Amnasia, and also try Kohinoor Dhaba (also in Crystal City) for excellent Indian.

    • Love to Eat in DC :

      Google Tyler Cowan’s Ethnic Food Guide or something along those lines. He conglomerated tons of hole-in-the-walls in NOVA and DC generally and categorized them by ethnicity. NOVA is amazing hub of international cuisines, like Korean food in Anandale, Vietnamese in Falls Church, etc. That document alone could keep you busy for months and months! I live in DC and my husband and I try to check one out semi-weekly.

  17. d’oh, rookie mistake! I posted this today but in the wrong place!

    Eye doctor question:

    I have been wearing glasses/contacts for ~20 years. Last year I went to a new eye doctor and they told me – for the first time ever – that I have an astigmatism. I have always been nearsighted but have stabilized at -5.75 for the last ~10 years or so. I totally forgot about this until I called yesterday to make my annual eye exam again and when I asked about pricing was quoted a higher price “because of the astigmatism.” Could they be misdiagnosing this so that they can charge more? Is there anything I can do other than go to another doctor? Does it really matter so long as they prescribe lenses that help me see?

    • I don’t understand why they would charge more for the examination. The lenses may cost more. You could just call another place and ask. I’ve had a prescription with slight astigmatism and other doctors have said it was so slight that it wasn’t worth correcting. Shrug.

    • I’ve never been charged extra for that. I’d go somewhere else.

    • I’ve never heard of being charged extra for an exam because of having an astigmatism (I have one, but have not always had it).

      My eye doctor (who I have seen for years, and trust implicitly) told me that astigmatisms can come and go, get better and worse, so it’s not implausible that you actually developed one. What makes me pause is that they charge you more for your exam because of it.

      I *do* get charged more for glasses/contacts because of the astigmatism, but that makes sense because they are adding an extra correction.

    • Baconpancakes :

      Maybe? I’ve had astigmatism for a long time, and it’s pretty bad, and some doctors perform a special exam to measure your astigmatism. I know that fitting contact lenses for astigmatism is much more complicated than normal fittings.

      • Wildkitten :

        And the special astigmatism lenses cost extra too.

      • I have pretty severe astigmatism, and ultimately have paid more for certain tests/fittings because of it, but was billed for those extra items after the fact. It would still give me pause that they are charging you extra up front, and by what margin? Any extra cost should be based on the eventual work they end up having to perform on you.

        +1 to astigmatism lenses being pricier.

  18. shopping by color :

    Any luck hunting for something in a particular shade? I am wearing a top today in a color I love but I don’t really love the top. I bought it for the color – it’s hard to find – but it’s one of those polyester shirts from Loft that shows every spot super easily and gets staticky. I’d be glad to pay a price for an all natural material shirt in the same color, but all your Eileen Fishers and Everlanes seem to be neutrals. I’m not really a neutral wearer. This particular color I’d describe as “dusty rose”. Any suggestions for shopping for a particular shade? Or for natural material clothes in actual colors?

    I know that places like Nordstrom have shop by color but selecting pink gives me a lot of shades that are nowhere near what I’m looking for.

    • Try the app ShopStyle. You can filter by color.

    • Also so funny you mention dusty rose because I spent some time looking for the same. I ended up buying two Eileen Fisher tops on eBay new with tags in colors “mauve” and “crocus” which are both dusty pinkish and both were 100% silk.

    • I share your struggle– I usually like wearing non- neutral shades, and replacing my favorite colours in natural fibres is tough. I am not sure if this is helpful, but could you find a similar coloured fabric, and ask a seamstress to make a copy of the top you like?

      Even a good copy does not always fit or drape the same, but it may be worth a try. I have sewn and copied some tops I like with various degrees of success. Hoping to make a simple silk top soon, once I locate the right material! Good luck with your search.

    • Try Grana! Similar to Everlane in quality/price (a little more inexpensive) but they have a wider color range.

  19. What are your go-to weeknight sides? I feel like I struggle to find healthy sides to get on the table quickly on a work night. We end up defaulting often to steam-in-bag frozen veggies seasoned with salt and pepper.

    • Broccoli roasted on high heat with olive oil, salt, pepper, and crushed red pepper.

    • Anonymous :

      frozen peas, with blue cheese mixed in for the adults
      carrot sticks
      baked sweet potatoes (do them the night before and just rewarm; apparently you can also do them in the slow cooker)
      steamed broccoli (we just chop, cover in mico-safe container with plate on top, and microwave for ~1.5 min)

      roasted anything, but more on weekends when I want easy but have a bit more time

    • I like roasting any/all veggies. Salt, pepper, olive oil, 375-400 oven for 15 mins.

      My grandmother used to make quick pickles – slice a cucumber, mix with a little sugar and vinegar, add dill and maybe some thin slices of red onion. Let it hang out for 15 mins or so while you cook the rest of dinner, and done!

      My husband really likes the Uncle Ben’s wild rice (too salty for me), instead I like Green Giant’s packages of cauliflower crumbles that I’ll make as a “rice side” side or sometimes make into a cauli pizza crust

      Coleslaw mix – can make it traditional coleslaw style or with rice wine vinegar / mirin / sesame seeds for something different

      Miso soup packets (again, the salt…) but, low calorie and can help round out a meal that feels a little light


      Salad (I get burned out on salad as a side pretty quickly)

      Lentils (sadly, require advance planning – I find they cook best if soaked an hour before baking, but the leftovers are awesome with olive oil/vinegar the next day for lunch)

      • Cherry tomatoes cut in half with salt/pepper/olive oil – can add in basil, mozzarella, etc if you have it on hand. Cherry tomatoes are usually good year round.

        Grits, polenta, instant mashed potatoes — all pretty easy and fast

    • Even if I have time to roast or sauté a veg side, which is not always , I always have a salad made with “spicy greens” or “hearty greens” (includes spinach, baby kale, etc)

      My basic salad combinations other than the dark green greens are:

      Carrots, raisins, sunflower seeds & ranch
      Sliced apple, pecans & shallot vinaigrette
      Cucumber, cherry tomato &ranch
      Avocado, pine nuts & vinaigrette
      Leftover roasted veg in any of these

      When I have time I roast everything. My favorite roasted veg are asparagus and carrots. For the carrots, I buy the smaller really carrots (not “baby carrots” if I can avoid it) and peel them. Asparagus I just snap off the tough ends. Put them on a sheet pan, pour on olive oil, add kosher salt and kind of shake them around on the pan. Put in a 400 degree oven till they’re done.

      If you have a 14 year old son, or anyone with a sweet tooth, you can drizzle maple syrup on the carrots halfway through roasting and those sweet tooth people will be your friends for life.

      If I really don’t have time I make a Caesar salad by cutting up a couple of romaine hearts, adding bottled Marie’s brand Caesar dressing, pre-shredded Parmesan cheese and packaged croutons. My kids will gobble this up, and won’t really eat other salads.

    • Anonymous :

      roasted veggies are one of my favorites–usually asparagus because that’s what my kids like, but will also do a mix of zucchini, purple onion, carrot, red potato, or broccoli.

      We also do brown rice or baked potato (either white or sweet, but that takes planning since they take forever.) or sometimes French bread toasted in the oven with garlic and butter.

      We also do salad regularly or sometimes just raw veggies with ranch. Also sliced fruit.

      We do a lot of microwaved veggie bags too though, haha.

    • Street harassment :

      Not only can you use broccoli slaw as a salad, you can sauté it for a veggie side. I make it with ginger plus a little soy sauce and sesame oil if the other food has Asian flavors or with olive oil and garlic if the other food is more Mediterranean. You can do the same with hearty greens like kale. Trader Joe’s has pre-cut and washed organic kale that is great for this.

      I also like to sauté kale with olive oil and garlic and some combination of onions, mushrooms, chopped artichoke hearts and tomatoes. And I sauté or roast cauliflower with olive oil, garlic, capers and green or Kalamata olives, maybe topping it with a little parmesan.

      I live on pre-chopped veggies from Trader Joe’s and also love the cubed butternut squash. You can roast it or even cook it in a microwave. I took to a potluck dinner not long ago a bunch of precut squash and sweet potatoes that I had only nuked because I didn’t have time to roast them, but I drizzled it all with lime-infused olive oil and added pink Himalayan salt to dress it up. Everyone raved; it gave me cooking imposter syndrome.)

      And a chunky salad of tomatoes and cucumbers is super-fast.

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