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Coffee Break: Katarina Block Heel Pump

Coffee Break | ·

Sole Society used to have some reader-favorite heels that were really affordable — under $70, if memory serves. Sadly, those are no longer available, but this block heel pump made me take notice, partly because of its many positive reviews at Nordstrom. It has a great modern look if you want a block heel but also an ankle strap. We’re featuring it in the light camel, but the mustard is kind of hard to resist, too. (I feel like mustard is going to be big for fall.) It also comes in black suede, but that has a wooden heel, which makes it a bit more casual. The shoe comes in sizes 6.5–12 and is $79.95–$84.95 at Nordstrom. Sole Society has some additional options on its website, including a blue and a nice floral. Katarina Block Heel Pump

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Comments

  1. Anonymous

    FDH and I are planning a very small intimate wedding that basically involves a trip to the courthouse followed by a small but extravagant dinner with our families (or, alternatively, doing the wedding part at the dinner. I’m a lawyer and have a thing for courthouses though). I will be wearing a wedding dress, haven’t started shopping yet but will soon. My question is, how long do typical wedding dress alterations take? I’m not even sure what to tell the restaurant we’re interested in what date we’re thinking of getting married on.

    • anon

      It depends on the dress and what needs to be done to it. Mine was a lace mermaid, pretty streamlined. I needed only the bust taken in and it took two weeks – I went for an appointment to drop off the dress and get it pinned, went back for a fitting to confirm it fit a week later, and then the next week the lace overlay was sewn up and I took it home.

      • Ellen

        Yes, my friend Laurie had a very tough time getting her wedding gown fitted. She has a pear shaped body, but insisted on wearing Vera Wang, which was a big mistake in my opinion. They had to let the tuchus out 3 times, and brought the top in 2 times b/c she was not busty at all. She nearly had to postpone the wedding b/c they were still making alterations the day before the wedding! I am going to be very simple if I ever find a guy to get married. I will find a dress that fits and just ask the tailor to duplicate the dress in white. Then I will be MARRIED! YAY!!!!!!

    • Marshmallow

      It depends on the kind of dress and what you need done. I wore a fairly complex, mermaid-style, corset-back gown and it took three appointments with about three weeks between each appointment. It also needed to come in quite a lot and had complicated lace that needed to be picked out and resewn. I think they could have done rush alterations in a total of two weeks, though, if I really needed to. For a more simple gown or if you need fewer alterations, it might only take a few weeks beginning to end without a rush charge.

    • Anonymous

      If you go to a bridal boutique and you’re not buying off the rack, getting the dress in can take 6 months with another month or so of alterations.

    • Anon

      What type of dress are you looking for? A simple courthouse wedding usually calls for a simple dress – basically a cocktail or formal dress style that happens to be white or cream. That can take two to four weeks, depending on if you need one or two sessions to get it right.

      A typical wedding dress, especially one very fitted, multiple layers, complicated or delicate materials, internal corset, or something similarly complicated can take a few months over 3 to 5 fittings.

      • Anonymous

        OP can where whatever the h3ll type of dress she wants to her own wedding. Regardless of venue.

    • Anonymous

      I bought a sample off the rack and needed 3 alterations appointments, each 10-14 days apart.

    • BigLaw Sr Assoc

      I think this varies wildly. I got married at a courthouse as well. I wore a tea length dress with a simple top that I ordered only from a department store with 2 day shipping. The only alteration I needed done was a bit of hemming, which was done in 2-3 days. So my whole process took less than a week.

  2. Anonymous

    In DC and in the mood to just pick up and fly away for a few days – like 3-4 day weekend. It would be a month from now at the earliest. I prefer cities, small cities that are cute/walkable are my favorite. Don’t want to go north (I know NYC/Phl well) or south – tends to be too warm even in Sept. 2-3 hr flight max. What comes to mind? All I can think of is Nashville. Is there anything fun to do in Minneapolis? Never been to the Midwest/upper Midwest – will fall be starting there in a month?

        • Ellen

          Yay Simone! I went to interview students in Pittsuburg, and it was a very clean city. I did NOT have time to do anything but suspect there are things to see and do. I know the movie Flashdance was filmed there years ago (when I was a baby), but I really LOVE that movie, so mabye you can find some remnants from that filming, so many years later! But I LOVE that movie! Watch it and then you will want to go, even if only to see Jennifer Beals dance! DOUBEL YAY!!!!!!

    • Anonymous

      Much of the midwest cities and towns are not walkable, you’ll need a car. But Minneapolis is a great city; it’ll be getting chillier and will be solidly fall. Other options: Ann Arbor is a picture-perfect, walkable, vibrant midwest college town. Chicago, not small but cheap plane tickets, walkable downtown and a perfect time of year to visit. Detroit. Milwaukee. Madison. Grant Rapids. If you’ve never been to the midwest, then I’d take this opportunity to come visit us!

      • Mpls

        Eh – I wouldn’t guarentee Sept as solidly fall. October sure – but you should still have highs from anywhere in the 50s to the 70s, But September can still be pretty warm. Leaves are definitely changing colors in October.

        The MSP area has lots of great outdoor spaces (lakes with parks/restaurants, St Anthony on Main area of the Mississippi River), craft beer is a big thing. You’ll need to get familiar with your Uber/Lyft app if you don’t have a car – and pay attention to where in the Metro area something is located. College football (Gophers) will be in full swing, so avoid the Minneapolis Campus of the U of M on Saturday’s if that’s not your thing.

        I honestly thing Fall is one of the best times to visit Mpls/St. Paul – not too hot and not so cold as to scare everyone away.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Cincinnati might fit your bill. Weather is hard to predict – could be 90 and muggy or 65 and breezy. The downtown area has undergone incredible revitalization in the last 8-10 years and there are great neighborhoods to explore. The Kentucky cities just across the river (Covington, Newport) have lots to offer, too.

    • K

      Try Detroit! Downtown Detroit has a lot going on and is quite safe. Visit our amazing art museum, the DIA. Spend a day at the Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village in Dearborn. Drive 45 minutes west to Ann Arbor to walk around the cute college town. It’ll still be nice and warm in September.

    • Austin TX

      I just had a great time in Austin, TX if that’s not too far to travel. Really enjoyed staying at Lake Austin Spa as a special treat but also enjoyed the downtown area and its shops.

    • Anon

      Just planned a trip to Nashville and flights are cheap but hotels are $$$! I’d try to go during the week if possible. We are also doing Louisville, but I feel like we could have done a full week between Louisville and Lexington alone.

      • Anonymous

        Yup. Nashvillian here. Nashville hotels are super expensive. There’s a shortage, so the rates are crazy.

        If I were you, I’d do Louisville (which I think is adorable) or Chicago. I just love walking around Chicago and the weather is relatively pleasant. Nashville isn’t super walkable if that matters to you, too. Individual areas are, but you have to uber between.

    • Pale Girl Snorkeling

      Milwaukee is a lovely city for a long weekend type visit. No need to rent a car, just get to the downtown/3rd Ward area (recently revitalized) and you’ll be able to walk to anything you’d like to see. There is an amazing art museum on the lake front, go to mam.org to see a list of their displays. Tons of good food and interesting shops including the public market which is a smaller version of the Reading Terminal. And the airport is very easy to get in and out. Never long lines and (my favorite) a Discombulation area after security with benches. I liked living there and its one of the easiest places I’ve lived to have weekend company without a car. Minneapolis is a close second and fall is lovely although a bit on the chilly side.

    • Anon

      I hear Cleveland rocks, but I’d personally miss on the small city and hit Chicago. Stay downtown, go to the art institute, second city comedy club, great dinners, shop the miracle mile. Yes, I’m talking myself into it too.

    • Anon

      If you happen to still be reading I would pitch St. Paul over Minneapolis. There are some nice cultural spots in Minneapolis (museums, music) but you could get those by train from St. Paul. I think St. Paul is more charming and there are some great restaurants. Some restaurants if you’re interested: Meritage, Octo, great pizza, a brewery where you can order food in from nearby spots, at least one rooftop bar, Salty Tart, Saint Dinette, and a fantastic farmers market. I don’t think you’d need to rent a car unless you wanted to get to one of the lakes, but there is the Mississippi River in St. Paul to walk/bike.

    • anon

      Grand Rapids will be in full Artprize swing come late September. Very walkable if you are lucky enough to find a downtown hotel this late (otherwise Uber to downtown), lots to see, good food & beverage scene.

    • Getaways

      What about Providence? I have never been there but seems very charming and there are often good flights from DC. Also recommend Chicago and love Minneapolis but it’s not super walkable (however it’s very bikeable).

  3. C

    Trying not to lose my cool, but slightly freaked out. One candidate for an entry level position in my department has been reaching out to me 1-2 times a week asking for updates about the process. This job has gotten backed up for some bureaucratic reasons, so I’ve had to say “Sorry, I can’t tell you anything at this point. Please direct future inquiries to HR.” (this is our standard policy). This week I learned that he came to our front desk and asked where my office was, then when he was denied that information, tried to explain to the secretary that he really needed to see me to explain that he was a good candidate for the job. He left without incident when asked, but called again a few days later. My office is relatively difficult to find even for people who know where it is and I have a keycard lock on the door, but I’m a little spooked. This is just one of those misguided attempts to show gumption or whatever in a job search, right?

    • Annie

      Trust you gut. I’d tell HR, tell them you think it is inappropriate, and if they agree he can be removed from consideration and put on a security list to be denied entry, all without him knowing of course.

      • Anonymous

        +1

        this is not zealous job searching gumption. this is weird and over the top.

    • Anon in NYC

      I would be freaked out too. Personally, I would escalate this internally.

    • SC

      I believe this is a misguided attempt to show gumption, although I can understand being freaked out. On the bright side, I think you can probably tell HR to give him an update about his candidacy.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Yeeesh. His actions demonstrate a lack of judgment and self awareness, both things that you probably want in a candidate. It warrants him being removed from consideration.

    • Anonymous

      I’m guessing that someone’s gotten a little too much “employers love gumption” advice. The next time this dude calls I would be super blunt and tell him that his failure to follow directions is not a strong recommendation for him as an employee. Tell him again to contact HR and that if he contacts you again, you’ll remove his name from consideration permanently.

    • Horse Crazy

      This is a VERY misguided attempt to show gumption, but I would still escalate it to HR. I don’t blame you at all for being spooked.

    • lawsuited

      He is showing poor judgment during the interview process (calling you weekly, showing up to the office without an appointment), which you could certainly communicate to HR/the hiring committee. But I don’t think you’re in danger. He stopped at reception to ask to see you and left when asked. He didn’t evade the receptionist, roam around the office trying to find you or make a fuss when he was asked to leave, and it doesn’t sound like he’s using harassing language on the phone.

      • Anonymous

        Sure, but giving strangers, who are not entitled to it in any way, shape or form, the benefit of the doubt is how you get killed by violent psychopaths. So OP should trust her instincts. There’s literally nothing to lose for her to keep her guard up.

    • Anon

      Gumption and professionalism are not mutually exclusive. The hiring process happens in a certain way. Any candidate needs to respect your time enough to not drop in.

      If you would like to remove him from consideration, do so. You can find other good candidates, right?

    • Anon

      I would personally give building security his photo and order them to not let him into the building, and then remove him from consideration. You’re feeling uneasy for good reason. He was way way way over the top and you do not need someone like that working for you.

    • MagicUnicorn

      Please tell HR and ask that they reach out to let him know his actions are so wildly inappropriate that he has been removed from consideration. If he is truly just a naive entry level job seeker, this is a harsh enough wake up call that he should realize whatever gumption-showing advice he is following is very wrong. If he has any creepier motives, then HR gets to be the bad guy and you do not have to deal with him.

    • Anonymous

      This is one step away from waiting for you outside the door/in the parking lot/at the nearest train station. I would be scared. Tell HR for sure. Ask them to tell him, at a minimum, he is not to contact you again. Hopefully they will also tell him he has been removed from consideration due to his outrageously inappropriate behavior. If he contacts you again after that, I would file a police report.

  4. Anonymous

    How much money do you keep as “background” in your checking account? Is it a specific number or a certain percentage or multiple of monthly expenses? Is this influenced for you by where the rest of your savings is (i.e. how long it would take to transfer it)? I’m sure the actual numbers will be different for everyone, but I’m just curious what criteria you ladies use to manage this. TIA!

    • Anon

      We keep a $1,000 backstop, mostly to prevent any kind of overdrafts. Our emergency fund can be instantly transferred if we needed it. We decided on $1,000 because it’s a nice round number for accounting purposes and is sufficiently high for any unmanaged, unforeseen expense. (Unforeseen expenses hopefully could be managed by transferring from our savings or putting them temporarily on a credit card.)

    • Anonymous

      I am aggressively paying down loans, so I keep just $500 in my checking and $1000 in my savings. The rest goes toward those awful loans. (I have $50k in investments if there were ever dire circumstances, and I’m very fortunate to have a spouse with a comfortable income.)

    • Anonymous

      Now sure what you mean by background here? Are you wondering how much money people keep in their checking accounts generally, or when they move move out to savings?

    • Anonymous

      I’m so interested in this as well. I have a big problem not spending my checking account down to five dollars the day before payday. While I’m sure I could, like, figure that out in therapy or whatever, I prefer to build in a series of controls. My paycheck goes to five separate accounts: retirement, a joint household checking shared with my husband, a savings account I can’t access without going to the bank, a savings account I can transfer from online, and my checking account. I keep two grand in the accessible savings account for emergencies. I concede that “only for emergencies” occasionally extends to mean “urgent shoe sale,” but I always re-fill that the next pay period if I’ve spent it down. I also have a credit card in my wallet that is truly only for emergencies. Writing this out, I realize how nuts it is. But it works for me.

      • fellowshoelover

        Lol at Urgent shoe sale

        How do you get a savings account you can’t access without going to a bank?

    • Anonymous

      I keep very little other than month-to-month cash flow in my checking account. However, we have overdraft protection with our savings account, and I try to keep several thousand in an “emergency” fund for major expenses (car repairs, large health expenses, etc.). Any overdraft would just withdraw from that account. I have a separate “real” emergency fund with 6 months of living expenses in an unrelated account (different bank).

    • Anonymous

      We keep roughly one months’ expenses (roughly $5k) in the checking account, but that’s partially a function of a spouse who gets paid on an irregular time schedule.

    • Torin

      $5k, but my checking account does earn interest so I don’t mind an extra soft cushion. Sometimes we have a big expense one month (e.g. home insurance, which we pay directly) and it’s nice to have the cushion in case I forget to transfer the money from another place.

        • MagicUnicorn

          Our credit union pays more interest (a decent rate, even) on my checking account balance than it does on the linked savings account so we keep the bulk of our money in the checking account.

    • Walnut

      $1-$2k I try to keep a little more cushion if I sense a particularly spendy month ahead (lots of shopping, vacations, etc.) so I have enough to pay off an abnormally large credit card bill.

    • Anonymous

      Probably more than most (2x our NYC rent). I view it as a short term emergency fund and a savings vehicle for short term expenses. I also hate worrying about timing expenses. It often dips below for shorter term expenses (vacations, holiday gifts, Doctor bill, etc) but it replenishes quickly. I have a fixed number in mind and once a month transfer the excess out.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      I do YNAB so all of my money is budgeted for *something*, and I usually keep under $500 in checking unless I’m waiting for a rent check to go through or something like that. It’s pretty easy to transfer money from my associated savings account, which is where most of my money is, and I’m paranoid about my debit card getting lost/stolen and someone cleaning out my checking account.

    • givemyregards

      Very little. I only have enough of my paycheck go to my checking account to cover rent and my monthly credit card bill. Everything else goes straight into savings to take advantage of the higher interest rate. If my credit card is unusually low/high I just transfer the extra to/from savings. I pay for everything with credit card except my utility bill and the occasional cash-only bar/restaurant tab, so my typical backstop is only around $200-300. My savings/checking accounts are with the same bank though, and I can transfer immediately between them, so if necessary I also have access to the around $5k I keep in there.

      • CountC

        +1 The only thing that will hit my checking account af a time I can’t predict exactly is the farrier check. $200 covers that. Everything else but SL payments goes on the credit card and paid off each pay period. I divert everything I won’t need for the normal budget to savings automatically. I can transfer instantly from savings and am in my accounts every day, CC included, so I know what’s going on. Plus, I track everything on a spreadsheet.

    • Anon

      I have a high yield checking account that pays 2.25% on the first $10k, so I keep $10k in it.

    • Anonymous

      Depending on where we are in the month, between half a month to a month’s income. So, in other words, the paychecks I’ve already gotten in August are to pay September’s expenses. By the end of August, I will have all of the money I will spend in September and the first paycheck in September is for October’s expenses. It averages out to about $3k-6k extra in the account. Part of this is because I use the YNAB approach of this month’s spending being for next month’s expenses and part is because I have an online savings account and it would take a few days to transfer in to my checking account.

    • Anonymous

      About a month’s worth of expenses that are paid out of the checking account, just in case something wacky happens and payroll doesn’t get deposited, so I don’t overdraw on automatic recurring payments.

    • Anonymous

      We are a family of 5 and I like to keep about $30k in our checking account. This is also our savings account and our only other savings account is my brokerage account, my 40k and my college savings account.

  5. YSL Sac De Jour

    I am obsessed with YSL Sac De Jour but don’t think I can afford to buy myself one for (at least) a few more years. Does anyone know of a dupe that is a similar shape?

    If you have a Sac De Jour and didn’t find it to be so great, i’d love to hear about why as well.

    • Anon

      It’s what you really want and any dupe is not going to satisfy you. You’d be throwing money away.

      I’d save up and buy the real thing. I googled and saw lots of used bags. I’d do that.

      • Anon

        That said, I personally love Cuyana and their work satchel is a similar style. I love the quality of their leather.

        • YSL

          That’s the first bag I’ve seen which looks similar in shape and structure! Thanks

    • Anon

      I have it. Rarely carry it because it is SO heavy. You’re better off without it.

    • Anonymous

      I lusted after a YSL Mombasa when they came out, and there was no way I could afford one, especially with my salary back then.

      I got one last year on eBay in great condition and I love it.

      So… there’s always that option :)

  6. Bummed lawyer

    I really don’t like my corporate law job (mid to senior level associate). In 17 months I will have paid off all (or almost all) of my undergrad and law school loans (started at 240k) and will have an adequate cash cushion to feel financially ok which is very important to me. Any tips for getting through this last stretch? Very anxious often which I am trying to manage through meditation but probably would help to get some therapy too. Any wise words from those who have done this before would be great.

    • January

      Are you planning to leave your job as soon as you’ve achieved this cushion? I’m not sure what your question is, or what’s troubling you, other than not currently liking your job (lots of us can relate). Are you going to start looking for a new job at the end of the 17 months? If so, I might go ahead and start taking steps towards starting that process — updating your resume, for example. It will give you something to do and help you think about the future.

      • Mpls

        +1 – Do what you can to figure out what you want to move TO, instead of just knowing what you are moving away FROM. Is it the work? the hours? the colleagues? the clients? How can you fix and avoid that in the future? Use this time to figure out how to position yourself for the next thing, or at the steps to get to the next thing.

      • Bummed Lawyer

        Yes, I am planning on leaving. I have a feeling of sadness/depression most days. I have disliked jobs before and this goes beyond that, particularly during stretches of long hours. I am partly looking for consolation and encouragement that it’s worth sticking it out. Taking steps towards the future is a good idea, thank you!

    • Nerfmobile

      Start working on your exit plan. What do you want to be doing two years from now? Change firms? Change practice areas? Go in-house? Go government? Exit law altogether? Use that energy to explore options and build a future vision beyond 17 months.

    • Walnut

      If you’re planning to switch jobs after paying off the loans, then I would plan for 24 months in your current role. What experiences do you want to achieve in those two years to make your resume awesome? Start thinking about what is important to you and what type of jobs will allow you to live out those values. Once you pay of your loans, start job searching and saving up for the awesome vacation you’re going to take during the old job/new job gap.

    • Bette

      To keep yourself motivated, i’d suggest a couple things

      1) Book a series of mini-trips (budget but not totally miserly) away for long weekends. If I were you, I’d try to do three long weekends out of town from not until then. I find anticipating travel really enjoyable so YMMV if traveling is not your things. Maybe set up some cheap flight alerts out of your city or play around with kayak explore?

      2) Set up a countdown clock on an app until the date when you will have your last loan paid off. If you are not into an app, a countdown calendar where you cross off payments as they happen.

      3) start fantasizing about what big reward you are going to allow yourself to do/get once you have paid them off. Maybe sign up for a pottery class? Or book a night out at a restaurant in town that you’ve really wanted to visit?

      4) care less about work and make your life outside of work more enjoyable and interesting. I am not saying phone it in at work (although everyone has their off days). I am saying that you should try hard to leave work at work and just not care about it as much. I find that the more full and happy my life is outside of work, the less work stress gets to me.

      And Congrats!! This is a huge accomplishment.

  7. Citizenship Gift

    I know this question has been asked before, but I can’t find the thread. A friend has her U.S. citizenship ceremony next week, and I’d like to get her a small gift. Any thoughts?

    • Clementine

      I got a friend a card and a nice passport cover (because new citizenship for her meant new passport). It was a hit.

      You can find nice passport covers on Etsy or I think Kate Spade has some cute ones.

      • Love this!

        As a naturalized citizen, I would have LOVED this gift! The first thing I did after the ceremony was go get my new passport. :)

    • Anonymous

      Possibly off the mark, but when my dad became a citizen, we got him some funny American-themed accessories, like a giant American flag tie, which he wore to the little celebration we had for him.

  8. Knope2020

    I could use some positive vibes. My partner of 6 years just officially moved out of our apartment today to go get his MBA at a school a few hours away. We’ll be doing the long-distance thing and already have several visits on the calendar, but I’m still feeling really blue. It’s going to be rough to not have ‘my person’ around on a daily basis.
    We’ve done long distance before for a year, but I’ve heard from my friends that have MBAs that this whole process is a completely different beast than just having regular jobs in different cities.
    Anyone here been through the MBA with a remote long term partner thing? Or tips/ideas for how to make long distance work better? TIA!

    • anon

      I think you’ve posted before? Many, many, many of us have, and it’s really not a big deal! My husband did one of the top 3 programs (HWS) and had plenty of time to visit. The second year he scheduled his classes T-Thursday so he could spend long weekends with me. And he got a great job, has been very successful, etc.

      My biggest advice is for both of you to stop stressing about this!

    • Anonymous

      Yup, I’ve been there and I so feel you. My SO is one year through his MBA, and we’ve been long distance for a year. I remember very well how you’re feeling. I’ll tell you up front the first few months of adjusting to your person being gone were the roughest.

      My best advice is to come up with a couple of ways to treat yourself, and set personal or work goals for yourself while your SO is working on his goals. I committed to a couple of goals (working out a set number of times a week, and cooking healthy food at home a set number of times a week). Both of these were things I cared about, but had compromised a little bit because of my SO. I also set up weekly social things with my friends. All of this kept me busy–which was important, because the MBA will keep your SO very busy too. So much of the MBA is social or “fun” that I frequently would feel like I’m missing out by not being there. Keeping myself busy made this better.

      We set the maximum amount of time we were willing to spend apart, and committed to scheduling trips accordingly. So, at least every 6 weeks I see him. One thing that is good about the MBA is that there are LOTS of long breaks. Like, three weeks now (woohoo!!) and two weeks for spring break, plus a month for Christmas. That time matters SO MUCH. We also came up with a regular time that worked for us to talk on the phone, which has been really helpful.

      You’ll get through it. And our relationship (which was already strong) has gotten much stronger through this. You can do it! (I’m down to 8 months left, not that I’m counting).

    • Anonymous

      OMG why do you keep asking about MBA programs? You make it sound like Navy SEAL training or something. It’s just business school, your husband’s not that special, you will survive, everything will be okay.

      • Z

        I don’t know; the staff from my husband’s school made it sound like a big deal (EMBA, in this case). They even gave out a little spiral-bound book with tips (some were supposed to be funny, but many were serious) about handling being the spouse of a student. There was this whole tone of “It’s going to be really hard for you!” I think it matters more for families with kids — your partner is going to be unavailable for about 20 hours a week, on top of their classes and regular job, so that’s 20 hours they won’t be around to help with driving kids around, caring for kids, doing bedtime, making dinner, etc.

        • Knope2020

          Thanks Z –yeah, that’s part of why I’m anxious. There was a “partners” meeting at the admitted students weekend. They tried hard to manage expectations and ended up just freaking us all out (saying students could come visit people in other cities only one weekend per semester, etc).
          Fortunately we don’t have kids or anything yet. I’ll just have to get used to doing laundry/dishes/etc every time instead of alternating with him!

          • Walnut

            But you’re only creating your own laundry/dishes/etc.

            Also, I’d probably subsist on cereal and thai takeout for the duration of the program because I loathe cooking for one.

      • Knope2020

        I don’t think I “keep posting,” but apologies if my comment posted twice or duplicated something someone else asked recently. But either way I think your comment here is pretty harsh and not called for. I never said that I thought this was some huge “navy seal” level deal, just looking for tips on how to make a hard period a little easier since a lot of the wonderful people on this board have been through it before.

        • Z

          I think Anon is referring to me — I posted a week or two ago (don’t know what name I used) with a similar question to yours, although my husband is doing his degree in our city. I don’t know why someone would think that this situation couldn’t be an issue for more than one commenter, especially at this time of year. Good luck!

    • anon

      Former LDR girlfriend here. You need a project of your own. This way you have something to keep your mind off of it, somewhere to focus your new energy (that you can’t direct to him because he’s gone or you don’t want to overburden each other with negativity/neediness) and your time. This also allows you to convert the time into something productive or valuable for you. Not at all trying to be glib and suggest that you just “look on the bright side!” but perhaps it could be helpful to look at it as an opportunity to do something new and interesting instead of just a hole of missing him.

      • Knope2020

        That’s a great perspective. Good opportunity to get back on the workout wagon!

    • Anonymous

      When I was in law school, I spent my social time with the B-school students, who seemed to have endless free time and flexibility. Sometimes they worked on group projects in the early evening but that then seemed to often turn into a party/happy hour later.

      • Anonymous

        Right? B school is a joke! It’s basically an expensive drinking program! If he cares about your relationship he can easily make time for it.

    • Alpha

      I did an EMBA at Wharton (39 – hello!) and they had a lot of those “partners” meetings which i found incredibly gendered.

      While they were always careful to refer to them as “partners”, the events were so clearly geared towards women (usually without as significant careers since there were many events in the day/early evening) and about supporting their MBA aka man.

      My husband went to family weekend and all of the tips were like be sure to have dinner waiting for your wemba because they are so busy, don’t bother them with pesky things like laundry or cleaning, and cut them a ton of slack because they are busy becoming masters of the universe!

      They even gave partners honorary diplomas.

      So yeah, it will be FINE. I would’t coddle your spouse. Yes help, but don’t get sucked into the bullshit.

  9. Anon

    Ugh, I have an unexpected work dinner and I’m not dressed for it. I didn’t really do my hair today either and my clothing is too warm-weather leaning for the microclimate I’m headed to (downtown SF, my office is in the burbs)

    Pep talk/ ideas please!!

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