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Suit of the Week: Laundry by Shelli Segal

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navy skirt suit 1For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Some people don't like three-quarter sleeve jackets, but I've never had a problem with them — particularly as someone whose arms are apparently just a *touch* too short for most off-the-rack blazers, if they're an evil, they're a necessary evil for me. With that in mind, I really like this pique suit from Laundry by Shelli Segal — the price is right, stretch pique is a great fabric for summer, and I'd probably wear the pieces as separates as much as I'd wear them as a suit. (If you have a summer internship coming up that requires a suit, this would be a great one to expand your collection or even to be the suit you keep in your office.) Due to a big Memorial Day Sale happening, you can take 40% off the entire site, including clearance, so this suit is crazy affordable: The jacket (Laundry by Shelli Segal Notch-Collar Pique Jacket) was $225, but is now marked to $99; with the sale it comes down to $59 (!!!); the skirt (Laundry by Shelli Segal Textured Pique Pencil Skirt) was $145, but is now marked to $69, but with the sale comes down to $41. Happy shopping, ladies… :)
navy skirt suit 2 navy skirt suit 3
(L-5)

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

150 Comments

    1. Agreed. 20″ is too short for most people (or me, at least) to wear in an office.

  2. *grrr, argh* Why can’t I ever remember that when I buy things from Amazon.com, not books or DVDs, they will usually get shipped through UPS or DHL…and not regular mail, and I have to be at home to sign for it?

    And when they call, I’m never at home. And then, when we reschedule and I come home early for that… they never arrive until late in the evening, if at all.

    1. Getting packages delivered is the bane of my existence. I feel your pain.

    2. You should do what I do. Have them delivered to the OFFICE, or you can have your DOORMAN sign for them in your apartement. I usueally have them delivered to the OFFICE, b/c that way, I can show the manageing partner right away, and make sure he will have FRANK give me my reimbeursement right away so I am NOT cash out of pocket for the 30% as DAD say’s. Dad has lightened up on me since I lost 3 lbs useing the FITBIT, but I still have 5 to go. I am NOT buying CRUMBS by the box, just indeividueall cupcake’s. He did NOT want me to eat at all, but I told him I would NOT go cold turkey on Crumb’s.

      I am leaveing work early today to meet Myrna b/c we are goieing to see a movie togther. It’s the latest Leornardo DeCaprio movie with Carey Mulligan and it is suposed to be so good. I am a BIG fan of Leornardo ever since the Titanic movie. He was a child star, but I think we are about the same age. To bad he would NOT marry me b/c then I would NOT have to work at all and would NOT have to worry about takeing this CLE course on the ETHICS of Partnership. My dad warned me that I am NOW goieng to be joiently responsibile for all of my billieng’s as well as everybody else’s billings. I am NOT sure that I can continue to bill 6 hour’s for mabye a 1/2 hour of work any more. If that is what a PARTNER now has to do, FOOEY, b/c how can I get my 3200 hours each year? I am NOT goieing to work 3200 hours to do it. I have to ask this question at the CLE, but do NOT want to be liable for other partner’s billeing’s either. The manageing partner bills more hours then me and most of the time he is NOT working at all. Sometimes he bills when he is at home, and he billed 10 hour’s on the day that he and Marjie went to the Javit’s Center to look at Boat’s! I hope that is not goeing to be a problem. FOOEY!

      How to other’s in the HIVE handel billieings? Is there a right way to do it where I can get alot of hour’s in while still beeing ETHEICAL? I hope so.

    3. Yeah, I don’t mind UPS or Canada Post, because both of those places will hold packages for me, and their pickup location is within a block of my home, but FedEx is out near the airport. If I had an hour to waste driving back and forth to the airport to pick up a tank top from lululemon, I would have just GONE TO THE STORE. I ended up spending 40 min on the phone, to have it delivered to work, which was slightly less irritating, though still a waste of my time.

      1. The UPS Store has a service where they will accept packages for you. It is like 7 bucks a package, but worth it for big heavy things that I can’t get delivered to work.

      2. A partner at my firm once had his winter tires shipped to the firm. They arrived the first day of his 3 week vacation, and sat in his office the whole 3 weeks. The entire floor smelled like rubber, it was awful.

    5. And when I try to call their customer service in Norway, to confirm/check if my package is out for delivery still, I get an automatic message “We’re open from 8-17. For other information, look at our website.” … and the UPS website for Norway doesn’t allow me to change my delivery time or place…

      1. And when I’d completely given up on them for today, the package arrived. 10:44 PM, when they generally stop delivery after 9PM.

        I’m definitely considering that “ship to work” advice. We’re generally not meant to do it, as the work mail room is one place they’re trying to cut corners financially, though, and everything that comes in goes through that.

    6. I use amazon locker for that exact reason. I live in Manhattan, so they’re all over the place, and then it’s just delivered to the locker, and I pick it up whenever is convenient for me. Definitely look into seeing if you have amazon locker where you are.

    7. You need to sign up for UPS My Choice. They send you an email when a package is scheduled to be delivered AND for a fee (yearly may be cheaper if you get a lot of packages) you can switch the day of the delivery.

      It is amazing and is the best. thing. EVER.

      (I am NOT paid by UPS, although I do like my UPS guy.)

      http://www.ups.com/mychoice/

  3. After a fairly significant breakup a couple months ago, I haven’t been able to stop myself from shopping. I’ve spent a LOT of money in the last 3 months and I know I need to stop but for some reason I can’t. Any advice?

    1. Here’s how I got my shopping under control: 1. I made a huge Goodwill donation and got rid of a whole bunch of clothes that I never wore. It was depressing to see how many things I was getting rid of that I had never worn or only worn once. My shopping addiction was to clothes, but I know people who have an overwhelming amount of kitchen supplies etc and you could do the same there. 2. Once I had significantly pared things down, I made a “one thing in, one equivalent thing out” rule. (“Equivalent” had to be added in when I found myself rationalizing a shirt by getting rid of an old pair of panties.) The last step: watch ‘Hoarders’. Watch it as much as you can. I’m only half joking – I was going crazy with the shopping and having that in my brain allowed me to say “Stop. Stop. You are doing this for no reason. You are hoarding. Stop it.”

    2. Set all your bills to autopay, and set your savings to automatically transfer out of your checking account or paycheck. Then put $XX (whatever is reasonable on your budget) on a prepaid debit card or take it out in cash and give yourself ONLY that amount to spend for the week. It worked for me to kick a shopping habit (and made me save more too!)

    3. Start a new hobby, plan more dates with friends/family, workout. It sounds like you’re an emotional shopper (it takes one to know one). Personally, I start spending more when I’m feeling lonely or not so great about myself. Doing things that make me feel better (socializing, working out) reduce my need to fill my closet.

      1. Yes – exactly what Statutesq said. I used to have an inbox filled with sale notifications and I would idly click through them when I was bored with no real intention of buying anything. But I bought PLENTY of stuff that I would never have purchased otherwise. I wound up unsubscribing from everything – Ideeli was the toughest one to give up – but it helped tremendously.

        When I’m feeling a bit compulsive about in-person shopping (not online), I force myself to go places where I probably won’t find much or the damage will be limited. Target is great for this, actually. Most of Target’s clothes are too young/cheap for me, but even if I really get rolling, it’s hard to spend TOO much there. Much better than going to Nordstroms or Bloomingdales and doing some real damage.

    5. I don’t know what to tell you other than to sympathize. I tend to buy shoes and jewelry when I’m stressed.

  4. Am trying to concieve. Very happily married to the man I’ve been with since I was 21 years old. Awesome sex life. Awesome partnership. No complaints, like, at all.

    And now that I’m trying to concieve? Despite the awesome sex life? And probably correlated to the fact that I’ve been with the same guy since college?

    I have never wanted to have an affair more in my life. Like, with anyone. Not even a specific guy. Just… s*x, s*x, s*x with someone different is all I can think about.

    Obviously , I have no intention of ACTUALLY having an affair . I’ve seen infidelity wreak havok on otherwise-solid relationships. My husband is a man among men and I don’t want to have a relationship with anyone but him, nor do I want to hurt or betray him in any way.

    It’s just my libido, planting terrible thoughts in my head.

    HELP, PLEASE.

    1. How do you feel when you have these thoughts? Do you feel guilty or otherwise unhappy? I am in a very happy long term relationship and think about these sorts of things from time to time, sometimes more frequently than others. But I tend to indulge myself in terms of thinking about it and letting my imagination run wild, and the thoughts tend to quickly dissipate. If you’re trying NOT to think about this, maybe that has something to do with you thinking about it more frequently? I know that for me, trying not to think about something = thinking about it all the time.

      Or maybe this is just a panicked reaction to really “losing your freedom” to husband & baby. Either way, it doesn’t sound like you actually want to or will end having any affair. I would just try not to overthink it, enjoy a little fantasy and go home to hubby.

      1. Guilty as hell! DH, wonderful man that he is, has jealous tendancies. Not controlling or abusive, just a little oversensitive. I’m conventionally attractive and get a fair amount of male attention on the street. DH gets sad and quiet when he notices it happening. He says he sometimes worries about me having an affair, because I was so young when we got together… and now… I guess he’s kind of right? A little?

        So my I can’t suspend my disbelief that extracurricular s*x would be okay even for a minute. No guilt-free fantasizing for me. Le sigh.

        But you’re absolutely right: I’m trying really hard not to think about it, which is totally making it worse.

        1. My mom, who has been happily (and faithfully) married to my dad for over 40 years, likes to say that she is “married, not dead” as far as finding other men attractive is concerned. She doesn’t flirt, and she’s never cheated, but she readily admits that she finds other men attractive (and I’m sure this extends to f*ntasizing about them, too). Unless you are acting on these feelings, I’d say you’re pretty normal.

          1. This. It’s perfectly normal to be attracted to other guys, and even to fantasize about them, there’s nothing wrong with it, and you’re not cheating on your husband. Doing something is cheating. Noticing that hot guy’s abs and having a few dirty thoughts is not.

    2. Sometimes, you just have to tell your libido to STFU. It sounds like your relationship is going fantastically, so there is a nonsense part of you that wants to destroy it. (See Don Draper on Mad Men.)

      I say do something faux-reckless, instead of the real recklessness that your libido wants. Do you generally avoid thrill seeking? Maybe this is a good time to try sky diving or bungee jumping. (Or a rollercoaster that goes upside down, if that is scary for you.) Or maybe you and the husband can try something weird in the bedroom that you otherwise wouldn’t do to shake things up.

      But I’ve been married for only a few months, so maybe other people can give better advice about the Itch.

      2. Doing something dangerous together (skydiving, not bringing home a hooker for a 3-way) is sexy. Try to get DH to go with you, or at least work out together (similar effect)

    3. Is this happening all the time or occasionally (like, a couple of days a month)? I find that I have a couple of days like this during my fertile period, so I obviously never noticed it until I went off the pill for TTC.

      1. The thoughts have been present since our second month of TTC, but yeah… definitely more intense around ovulation.

        Hm. Perhaps I shall use my imagination for good instead of evil. The more s*x I want with random men on street, the more LGP invites the DH shall recieve…?

        1. I’d chalk it up to biology. You are TTC, it’s bound to set off some primal “must mate now” urges.

        2. Biologically there is a theory that once upon a time women would find a man to support her (read bring food and beat predators) and then mate with other men (read not homemakers but good hunters). Sounds like a biological throwback to me. Enjoy the LGPs with DH

    4. i think that’s ‘displacement’ behaviour. You just have stress that can’t get out (trying to conceive) along with the thought that if you have a kid with said awesome guy, you’ll never sleep with anyone else.ever.again. Not too many suggestions except perhaps taking up a new activity with your guy – sports, hobby, take a class together, something new.

    5. I’ve been with my SO for 8 years. Super happy with him. Frequently fantasize about s* x with other men. Two things:
      1) let yourself fantasize. Do it while you m@ ****bate. Have fun. Yeeee.
      2) If you feel tempted to *act* on your fantasies, play them all the way out to the end. i.e. so you do it – then what? how do you leave? will you feel guilty? what will it be like having to keep that secret? what happens if your husband finds out? etc. After going all the way through that thought exercise, I magically have no desire to bring that upon myself.

      1. A friend and I are both guilty of reading Craigs List casual encounters ads and viewing the gardening tools on display. (Not together at the same time, we just admitted one night that we do this.) Personally, I do this for number 1. It is fun and exciting to read about people that just post online and then hookup. I would never actually do that but it fits well with crazy fantasies for number 1.

    6. Thinking about and/or wanting to have sex with other people does not make you a bad person. If your thoughts are consumed by having a baby, it’s natural that your body will respond by telling you “try to have babies!” – even if the target isn’t your husband. As long as you’re not actually unhappy in your marriage, just allow yourself to have these thoughts for now and manage them by incorporating them into your fantasies. You only need to worry if you start feeling like they are starting to become more than just thoughts.

    7. So there’s a few possibilities here – first, you have most likely gone off hormonal BC for the first time in your adult life. This can make your hormones get a bit hinky and raise your desire for LGPs to all time highs. Not a bad thing for the whole making a baby thing, but a bit inconvenient for everyday life. Also, when women ovulate they tend to get super super interested in LGPs – if you were on a BC type that suppressed ovulation, that might be part of it too.

      Finally, I know some people don’t agree with me, but I really, really don’t believe that the occasional (or even not so occasional) fantasy or little crush on another man or woman is bad for a relationship. In fact it can even be good, if it stimulates your interest in LGPs and makes you want to try new things and generally improves your mental s*x life. I would wager to say that all people (if they’re entirely honest) or at least most people have at least a passing s*xual interest in people who aren’t their SOs. I mean, there’s a whole entertainment industry based on this theory. If you’re not going out and acting on these feelings, I don’t think there’s any harm.

      Now if the issue is that you’re getting *bored* with s*x now that you two are doing it for a transactional purpose rather than just for fun – why not come up with some ideas to, you know, spice things up (ideas that do NOT come from Cosmo). Look at a toy website or read Savage Love or fan fiction or watch some of the female friendly versions of that entertainment I mentioned above. Try something new. But, I would definitely NOT recommend spicing things up by saying “hey DH – I’ve been thinking about other guys – want to role play someone else.”

      OH! One more note – if I was you I’d lay down the hammer on this whole “I’m sensitive and it makes me sad when other men look at you on the street” thing. He is giving you grief over something you have literally no control over. That sort of jealousy can be insidious if it isn’t dealt with openly and quickly in a relationship. I mean – all or most women experience street harassment and ogling – he needs to understand that the dynamics of that sort of exchange have little to do with s&xual attraction and are much more about asserting power on the part of the ogler. And that he needs to slow his jelly roll on the whole jealous of random men thing.

      Okay – sorry for the book. I’m done now.

      1. I agree. I’ve been married almost 19 years. Love my dh. Have never been tempted to cheat. However, I have had the occasional crush or fantasy about someone else. I’m sure dh has too. It’s part of the ‘married not dead’ thing. I’ve never considered acting on it, and eventually it went away because it was a crush.

        And also, I’m sure your hormones are all out of whack. Good luck TTC!

      2. I read it that he is jealous when she gives attention back- ie more than getting catcalled on the street, she is smiling back or whatever. Surely no guy actually gets jealous over street harrassment?

      3. +1000. Your DH shouldn’t be making you feel guilty. Have your fantasies and ENJOY them, then have hot s*x with DH. :)

      4. Your books are the best books, TCFKAG! Thank you especially for the second and third paragraph.

        I have assured DH that I haven’t cheated on him in the entire decade we’ve been together, and I have no intention on starting now. And he knows that, intellectually. Maybe next time he brings it up I’ll try being be less reassuring and more exasperated.

        P.S. I promise I will never, ever take LGP advice from Cosmo. On my honor. *g*

    8. Wow. You ladies are amazing. Thank you all so very, very much for the reassurance that I’m not a) a bad person or b) doomed to eventually knuckle under and have an affair.

      Really, thank you. Very much appreciated. I’ll work on this guilt-free fantasizing business, seeing as the LGP-open-invition thoughts don’t seem to be going away on their own…

    9. Are you age 28-31 by chance? My drive was OFF THE HOOK during that age. Now I’m a little older and married, and my DH is a little disappointed we are no longer in that phase.

    10. Surprised this hasn’t been suggested more strongly – try role playing. Rent a hotel room and have a drink at the bar. Have him come up and introduce himself to you, like a sexy stranger that is going to rock your world then disappear. Use fake names (his can be Clive Henderson, a la Modern Family). Be a bit naughty and invite him up into your room. Scorch the sheets. Don’t break character and this can be SO HOT and totally fill the “I want to try someone new” urge.

    11. Did you just go off a hormonal contraceptive? Because those things did a number on my libido — it dropped through the floor when I started those. I had an incident a few years ago, where I ended up going off it for a couple weeks (insurance doctor change meets vacation) and it was like being 15 again. I’m fully expecting my libido to be a mess when I decide to try and get pregnant.

      If that’s the case, don’t do anything stupid for at least six months, while your body readjusts to your “normal” hormone levels.

  5. Anyone have recommendations for places that would take a donation of a used mattress in Chicago? My sister is turning their guest room into a nursery and needs to get rid of the bed, so it’s been slept on very infrequently and in good shape; they just have no place for it. Salvation Army won’t take it, and apparently a place associated with her church was very rude to her when she called to ask them.

      1. Most shelters can’t take used mattresses for health reasons. They might be able to connect her to a client just getting set up in a place who could use it though (same with area churches or community centers.)

    4. This may be hard in Chicago, as there has been a bedbugs problem this year and any donation site will not want it. I agree with Craig’s list, and if that fails.. the trash.

  6. J Crew is having a sliding scale, dollar-off promo. The top is $75 off $250. I just put through 2 orders of over $250 (suit) and it worked on both. :) Now I am not tempted to buy a new Theory suit, which would be more expensive even on sale. Yay!

  7. So, BarBri starts tomorrow. I know I’m in for a sort of hellish couple months, and those of you who have been through this and bested the exam…I’d really appreciate tips on how to study, how to make sure you take care of yourself, that sort of thing. I plan on taking exercise breaks and I’ve been pep talking myself for months that I can and will pass this thing, but any extra tips from you all would be appreciated. :)

    1. There are more than a few old threads on this, so look those up for lots of info.

      My advice is always the same: Go to class, take notes, focus mainly on the MBE subjects (esp. at first) so you don’t feel overwhelmed, don’t worry about doing ALL the assignments, for the essays, I found it more helpful to outline the model answers than anything else so I could just get a feel for how the answers should be written, do as many multiple choice questions as you can, and don’t overthink things too much until July. For that last bit, my experience is you don’t need to really go crazy studying till after Independance Day. Until then treat it as a regular job: I did the morning class, hour for walk/lunch, outlined my notes, done at 5. After the 4th, I treated it more like a lawyer job: class/library by 9 and at the desk pretty much till 9/10, with maybe a short break for lunch. Speaking of which, towards the end, I just picked something sort of healthy I liked eating and got it for lunch every day (one less thing to think about). And bring lunch with you on the big day. Not having to deal with a few thousand others trying to all get food at once is essential.
      And remember that you will be fine. Most people pass. You don’t need to get an A. It will all be okay. Congrats on finishing law school!

      1. Yes I forgot about that! Bring lunch, and bring lunch you look forward to / want to eat. I was lucky, I took the bar near my hometown, and my husband and MIL brought me lunch right at the beginning of our lunch 1/2 hour from my favorite place nearby. They would go to lunch early and get mine to go, and were waiting for me when the exam let out. Talking to people not taking the bar and eating food I really liked for 30 minutes in the middle of each day was a huge advantage for me.

    2. They give you a calendar with a schedule of basically every day between now and the exam. If you follow the schedule, or at least about 75% of it, you’ll be fine. If you don’t have time to do all of the essays, read them, plot them in your head, and then read the ideal answer provided. There was at least 1 question on my exam that was really similar to something I had just read over in the materials.

      Eat…have fun on the weekends…don’t deprive yourself.

    3. I rode my bike to and from class (~15 miles each way) and it was the best thing I ever did. I looked forward to the “break,” I made sure I got regular exercise and I enjoyed the summer weather.

    4. Get enough sleep and don’t burn out early. Do extra practice essays if you have time. Take PMBR for the multistate portion; I found it more helpful than BarBri and the materials more useful.

    5. I think the most valuable advice I can impart is: make the time you spend studying count. Close chat windows. Turn off your phone. When you’re not using your computer–maybe you’re reviewing flashcards or study sheets–close it. Take breaks, of course, but when you’re working, really work. After July 4, you will spend an inordinate amount of time in the library and you want to make as much of that time count as possible. When you’re resting or not studying, make that time count too. Get outside. Move around. Don’t get sucked into gchat and realize you just spent your entire break in the same chair you’ve been sitting in for three hours. I spent the same amount of time in the library as my friends, but observed I was capable of achieving much more during the time we were there, and was less panicked when I wasn’t.

      1. Along those lines, don’t make the studying environment too sterile. There will be 1000 nervous people making noise in one room. Get used to blocking out noise and distractions if those bother you.

        1. Haha yes. Find a loud typer to sit and study next to you while tapping their foot nervously and chewing gum, for maximum realistic environs.

        2. Ohh, yes, agree completely. I had backup beeps going during the vast majority of my bar exam — there was construction outside that they didn’t bother to stop. I *hate* backup beeps and I passed.

    6. The status bar on barbri’s front page monitoring your progress is evil. You will be behind after like 2 weeks, everyone else will lie about it and you will feel like cr*p every time you login. I wish I had known that so I could have had just 1 less thing to freak out about.

    7. I found the most helpful thing for me was making a schedule, and sticking to it. Similar to AIMS, during actual BarBri, I would go to the class form 9-1, take an hour for lunch, then work again until 5. I deactivated Fbook, stayed logged out of gchat, and turned off email notifications so that during those hours, I actually studied. I got through as much of the material as I could, then called it a day. I NEVER made it through all the required assignments for each day. Probably closer to 75% depending on the subject. Take the first week and see how it goes, how much you get done. Like the first part of law school, it will take a bit to figure out what works best for you. One of my friends just made her own outlines based on the convisor, another made flashcards, and another just read things over and over. I usually outlined practice essays and then compared against the model answer to make sure I hit all of the major points. I would recommend trying to do several timed practice essays without notes, but I found it was more helpful to do those once the class had ended and I had internalized the black letter law better (but that is just me).

      Don’t compare yourself to what others are doing. I can’t tell you how many people I saw in the library till all hours of night, even at the beginning, burning themselves out. For me, most of bar studying felt like regular law school: class, then reading/hw. The last two-three weeks felt more like finals of intense studying so it was pretty familiar feeling.

      Take breaks, take care of yourself, schedule in a few days where you don’t do anything bar related at all. When it comes to the actual exam, don’t panic, and do your best. You won’t know everything, and thats ok. Good luck!

    8. Bar summer was one of my easiest summers–telling everybody you’re “studying” gets you off the hook for obligatory things you dont’ want to do, but honestly, you’ll have time to do other stuff (cook good food, workout, watch tv, hang out)

      I tried to go to class b/c even if it’s the same video as online, I was outside of my apartment, and forced to do it in 3 hours instead of the 5 hours i can take if you’re at home and pausing for breaks.

      I tried to stay on top of the practice questions/essays but did not sweat the “review and preview” bits other than to do the outlines.

      Best bit was spending time condensing the material down to the essentials…

      I managed to get in the best shape and totally get hooked on and finish two seasons of Dexter.

      Since the summer often got to 103+ degrees, I loved staying indoors and not feeling like I was missing out since it was too hot to do anything anyway.

      Enjoy yourself, keep on top of things, and know that you don’t need an A+, just do better than 30% of the testtakers.

    9. Its’ not really that miserable if you are not working (trying to work, especially law firm hours, and study at the same time seems impossible/horrible to me). I’ve said this on other threads but I basically treated it as a full-time job and found it to be a fairly pleasant one. In May and June I studied about 35-40 hours a week, taking evenings and weekends off and occasionally ending studying around 4 pm to go for a swim or a walk with my then-bf, now husband. In July, I ramped it up a bit, occasionally studying on evenings or weekends but never working more than 50 hours a week. I work much, much more now as a lawyer. I had a lot of time then to do things that I don’t have time to do now, such as take evening walks, cook reasonably healthy dinners every night, bake, and watch TV. If you do everything BarBri tells you to do, you will do just fine.

      A few tips:
      –Keep a regular schedule. Not to say you can never ditch studying one afternoon to go out with friends or relax, but trying to basically devote M-F 9-5 to diligent studying helped me keep pace with BarBri which helped my sanity. I’m sure you don’t need to do 100% of what is assigned to pass but it probably makes you feel better to not get too behind.
      –Avoid late nights & hangovers. I’m not much of a drinker, so this was easy for me, but acting like you’re employed and not a student and going to bed at a reasonable time every night and getting up at roughly the same time in the morning (even on weekends) will make it easier to get up and study the next morning.
      –Take care of yourself. Get plenty of sleep, drink lots of water, make time to cook at home so you’re not living on takeout, exercise regularly. These may seem like time-consuming activities that you can cut out to get more studying time, but they’re important to making you feel human.
      –Don’t feel like you have to go to the classes in person. I hated the in person classes. I enrolled for BarBri at a top 5 law school (that I didn’t attend) and the students were terrible. They were either all 1) super competitive and trying to psych each other out, which made me nervous or 2) so confident they were going to pass that they were chatting during the lectures, which interfered with my ability to hear the lecturer and learn. So after about 3 days, I did the rest at home on video. It worked out fine and it was much better for my sanity (and saved me time commuting). If you do them at home though, I’d recommend having a home office or at least a desk that is a designated “study area” so you can work diligently when you’re at your desk then decompress when you step away to eat, watch TV, whatever.
      –Don’t study between test days. No matter how well prepared you are, the bar is mentally exhuasting and you will just want to come home and veg out after the first and second test days. I know a lot of people who tried to study then but my view was I knew what I was going to know by 9 AM on the first test day and the best thing I could do for myself during the non-test parts of the exam was just relax.

      Good luck! I’m sure you’ll do great.

      1. If you watch the videos online, you can speed them up by 10% or 20% with certain players to get through them faster while still getting all of the substance. Don’t do it so fast that you can’t keep up or aren’t absorbing, but this is a really easy way to shave off 30 minutes a day every day from your workload.

      2. This is all great advice. I would add that you should do what worked for you in law school. If you had a good system, adapt it to this new information. Lots of the advice from test prep companies is very one-size-fits-all and not necessarily targeted at people who have good study skills already.

        In my experience, most people do too much, not too little, so don’t freak out when you hear people whining about putting in 14 hour days in June. That’s crazy.

  8. Hi hive!
    Quick TJ: what was that hair tool that was discussed in the comments a few weeks ago that was like a rotating hair dryer + hair brush? For the life of me, I cannot remember the name and my google searches are coming up with other products.

    Or, if someone can recommend one to me that is similar, that would be awesome!

    For the sake of my hair that is dealing with the beginnings of a humid summer, thank you! I really appreciate it!

        1. Bought it at BBB w/a 20% coupon because of the comments last time around. Wish I hadn’t. I have fine thin hair. Maybe it gave me the teensiest bit of body but not enough oomph to make it worth the price tag. If anything, I think it may have caused my hair some damage.

        2. Thank you for the replies! I was going batty trying to remember the name!

          L,
          What kind of hair do you have? I have super thick wavy hair- I must use my flat iron on the hottest setting to get it to submit. :) TYIA!

  9. Hi ladies – I am looking for a Kate Spade New York shoe for my wedding next February. It is the Latrice style in lime green and purple satin (pointy toe stiletto with a bow) in 8.5. I have tried googling, ebay, and live chatting with Nordstrom and Kate Spade to find a pair. Does anyone have ideas for other avenues to find these shoes?

    1. I’m thinking they were out about a year ago because I remember seeing them (and coveting them) in a Kate Spade store in February or March. Probably too late to buy them from a regular retailer? What size?

      1. Never mind about the size – I see you said 8.5. Too bad I didn’t buy them since that’s my size.

      1. A user with the screen name yahiva01 has a pair and appears to be asking for potential buyers to name their price. Unfortunately, they are a size 8. Not sure if that would be close enough. I’ve certainly been known to squeeze my feet into shoes that don’t quite fit that I’ve completely fallen in love with.

  10. What are your favourite “omg, I’m ravenous because of my lady cycle” snacks?

    Right now these Reese’s Cups are really hitting the spot.

  11. Any advice for finding a roommate in a new city?

    I am moving to Kansas City in August for a job after finishing law school. I am happy to live alone, but I could live in a much swankier place if I was splitting the costs with someone. This is the first time I don’t have some sort of schooling to rely on.

    1. I’ve heard horror stories about Craigslist roommates, but I found my roommate on Craigslist nine months ago, and so far it’s working out great.

    2. Can you reach out to your (personal, not professional) network to find one? E.g. your friend’s cousin lives in the area and is looking for someone to live with. It would only work if you have connections to the area, but probably people you find that way would be no more likely to be awful than a stranger via Craigslist, and they may be much better, since your connections can somewhat pre-screen for crazy people.

  12. Any ideas on how to spend a birthday when nobody has planned anything for you? My usual Wednesday evening is yoga and Netflix, but I should do *something* to acknowledge yet another year of being no one special, right? Maybe sit at a bar and see how many sympathy drinks I can score?

    2. Maybe something indulgent, like a mani/pedi or, if it’s in the budget, a late afternoon/evening at the spa getting a massage or a facial? Those can be enjoyed solo but are definitely a treat.

      Or do you have a hobby you particularly enjoy but don’t get to do very often? I love taking dance class, but rarely find the time to go.

      Also, where do you live? There are lots of awesome ‘rettes out there who would be willing to meet for a birthday drink!

    3. Buy an expensive bottle of champagne and drink it while watching a guilty pleasure movie. For me, Twilight. When half way through bottle, tipsily order more sushi than you know what to do with

    4. Go shopping for a treat for yourself! Expensive purse, something tasty you wouldn’t normally indulge in, a spa treatment. Be nice to you. And, happy birthday!

    5. I had just moved to a new country, and was living in the middle of nowhere with 3 other expats, who weren’t the most friendly, so I bought myself some cake and a bottle of wine and celebrated getting internet /my birthday by eating cake over chat with my bf.

      You can also say, “hey, it’s my birthday, let’s get dinner/drinks/spa/netflix+takeout” Most people would love to celebrate with, but given the need to be “busy” and nobody remembering things like birthdays w/o facebook reminders, I think it’s harder now. That and friends have changed and people go to college/prof school in different places.

      Can I just rant for bit–I have held/organized birthday gatherings for multiple friends and NONE have ever reciprocated. I’m so done with doing anything for them.

    7. What do you WANT to do for your birthday? Go do it. Theatre? Buy a ticket. Favorite meal? Go out or cook, indulgently, for yourself. Favorite bar? Saddle up on the stool and talk to everyone. I know it would be more fun if someone else had planned something, but use this as an opportunity to take care of yourself and celebrate your own self worth — all by yourself. If you can’t bring yourself to do one of these things, spend the evening contemplating how you can take care of you this year. Goal set or make a “bucket list” or just make a list of nagging TO DO items and a schedule for completion that would free you up to enjoy life (or make your life easier to share with others). I’m a very single girl and I, humbly, think I do “single” better than other people because I’ve always treated myself the way I would want to treat someone else. (NOTE: Not how I want to be treated by others; that is a different mindset.) Plan your own birthday party like you are planning it for your best friend. And enjoy your new year.

      1. I plan my own birthdays. Usually it’s a group of girlfriends and we go out for dinner and drinks. But I’ve also done dinner parties at my house (I love to cook). Don’t count on anyone else to plan it if it’s important to you.

      2. Making a bucket list (I call it my “life list”) was seriously so much fun to do. Don’t limit yourself (commercial space flight has to become a reality for me to check everything off my list) and try to come up with everything you’ve ever thought sounded like something fun to do.

    8. Completely agree with everyone saying do whatever you want. My parents stopped having birthday celebrations for me when I was around 10, so don’t feel too bad! By the way – since no one said it yet – Happy Birthday!!

    9. Dude, if you are over 16 really, just make your own party! Dont mean to sound harsh but I have a friend like you who gets SO eyeore when no one plans anything for her birthday. ALL my friends just organize their own dinner. Send out an email to some of your girlfriends seeing if anyone is around to get birthday drinks on friday if you want to go out for it. Please don’t go out to get sympathy drinks, and cut back on the “i’m no one special because no one organized me a super special princess birthday outing.” Figure out what would make you happiest on your birthday, and invite your friends, or if you’d rather something solitary, just pick it and go do it!

      1. That does sound harsh!

        OP, I totally agree with the others in doing something by yourself or with friends to celebrate your day. (I especially love the botanical garden suggestion) I often have a spring in my step just cause it’s my day. Other people notice /I mention it & I get a lot of smiles and “happy birthdays” from random strangers. It is not the same thing as having someone plan out something for me, but it makes me feel like the whole world is celebrating me.

    10. Please don’t say “yet another year of being no one special.” We never made a big deal about birthdays in my family and now I am grateful because I see how disappointed lots of folks get when there is no acknowledgement from the rest of the world. That’s just what happens after about age 21. Try to spend the day doing something you enjoy — go to botanical gardens, search for the perfect summer sandals, be a tourist in your own city. I always take the day off and go thrifting and to the movies. Lots of times, the only person who acknowledges my birthday is my dad, who always calls in the evening to sing to me. Don’t let it get you down.

  13. I love this suit and am very tempted at the sale price, but as I mentioned I have spent a whole lot on clothes recently, and I know I don’t really need another navy suit (even though I would wear it). Need to limit myself now just on filling the gaps!

    1. Hmmm, I actually like the reasons she gave for dumping maiden/birth name. Those are legitimate reasons. But you don’t need to get married to change your name although I suppose it would be diva to change your last name without getting married.

    2. It’s such a touchy topic for people! I fully intend to keep my name because it is who I am and how I identify myself. My newly engaged sister posted a list of places that someone needs to deal with to change their name and I felt awkward mentioning to her that she didn’t need to do it at all. She responded by saying that she was considering keeping her name, so that made it less awkward.

      I suppose it is less of an issue for me since I will not be having children so ill never have to deal with a child who might have a different last name than me.

      People, my sister included, can ultimately do whatever they want to do and I’d never judge them for it. On the macro level though, I think it’s a little disappointing that it is still the norm for it to only be a decision that women have to make. In my mind, its kind of similar to women being more likely to leave the workforce than men to raise children. Everyone should make their own choices without judgment from others, I just wish that our culture was more equal when it comes to which person in a heterosexual couple is the one who makes the major changes.

      1. This is how the mantra of “choice” is problematic. Yes, we have choices and are entitled to choices. But the consistent incentives in one direction, and penalties in the other, make it unfair. I think it’s a mistake both to judge women for their decisions AND to deny that those decisions matter in aggregate/on a societal level. I’m impressed with The Careerist for taking a stand that draws attacks (though the opposite stand does too, as we saw).

        1. I know what you mean. I plan to keep my last name, but for me to do it is labeled as a choice while it won’t be thought of as a choice for my husband. It seems to only be a “choice” when it is out of the ordinary, or at the very least it is typically only a “choice” for the woman.

          1. Also, why does the Ny Times wedding section always point it out when a woman is keeping her own name?

    3. Hmm, I actually think an unusual last name is more useful than a common one like Jones or Baker, especially in a large company where there might be multiple people named “Jane Baker.” Also, sensible people will make an effort to learn how to spell and pronounce it properly (or as well as they can), and you can write off the people who don’t as jerks. I knew a former boss was going to be obnoxious when she introduced me as “Jill…I’mnotevengoingtotrytoprouncethatname”. And I always know when it’s a telemarketer because they mangle it.

      1. I also have an uncommon last name. It means that every google result for my name is actually me. (This is both good and bad.)

        I just wish the cashiers at Safeway would stop trying to pronounce it when they give me my receipt. “Have a good day, Miss… uh, …” Just stop trying. It’s ok. I don’t like being called by name by strangers anyway.

      2. The coworker who won’t learn your name is unbelievably obnoxious. I certainly expect people I work with & my students to know how to spell my name. It’s not long at all. The people who don’t get it right are the receptionist at the doctor’s office, the person working the counter at the dry cleaners, others I interact with in similar ways. It’s a pain bc most of their computer systems only bring up exact matches, so we have to guess which misspelling was used. If the customer DB isn’t that big they can sometimes find it just by looking, but it’s sometimes under the wrong first letter.

        A cousin rejoiced when she changed her name to her husband’s, which is a word most kindergarteners learn to spell.

    4. Having been given a hyphenate name at birth, I have been introduced to how touchy people are about this since a VERY young age. You have no idea how many full-grown adults aske me when I was a teenager or even a child “but what will you do when you get married” or “bu what will you name your children.” And to be honest, I’ve had as many answers as I’ve had askers.

      Currently I’m two years into my marriage and haven’t done anything to my name yet, though that may change when kids come along – but some element of my birth name will stay. But what I really don’t understand is why SO many people in my life (some of them perfect strangers) have cared. Apparently even minor deviations from the patriarchy are dangerous, lol.

      1. Yeah, I never understood the hubbub about hyphenated names as some sort of doom to be visited later on when kids grow up and have their own kids. What will they do?!?!? They’ll figure it out, just like everyone else will figure it out.

      2. Oh my gosh, I get this too. Also, the people who think they are so funny when they say, “are your kids going to have a hyphenated last name with three parts?” Hardi-har-har. And the people who want to know, “is it your mom’s last name plus your dad’s?” Actually, it’s just my dad’s, thank you very much, and why does it matter?

        Having said that, because of my complicated last name I used to think that when I got married I would take my husband’s last name, just to simplify things. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to appreciate my name more, and now I don’t think I’d give it up. It’s part of my identity.

      3. This is where you should deadpan and come up with the most ridiculous name, maybe Princess Sparklepants, and say but sparklepants won’t be hyphenated so don’t worry.

    5. I liked her article and really loved this comment:
      “I’m always surprised when people ask why I have a different last name than my spouse. My standard answer is that he and I have different parents.”

    6. I changed my name when I got married. I was never particularly close to my Dad’s family and I have a common last name and my married name was within the same origins as my last name. I changed it back and have vowed that, if I get married again, no matter how much I love the man or he tries to guilt me into it, I will never change my name again. It’s just not worth it to me. I’ve published in my name and have one article (that’s harder to find) in my married name. That said, I don’t really feel like I have to justify it. I don’t want to and I won’t.

      1. This is all so interesting! I still haven’t decided what I will do. Though SO has a really nice cajun name that I’m tempted to take just for the uniqueness of it.

    8. Those are all decent reasons to want to change your name. You’d think that many men might have reason to do the same, but no, no matter how badly they hate their dads/are unpronounceable/whatever, they just don’t.

        1. So did Jay-Z!

          I totally want Mr. TCFKAG to hyphenate his name with me, but its totally a no-go so far. I think its mostly because he hates change more than anything and he can be a stubborn git when he gets something in his craw (though he also has no real attachment to me changing my name.) I feel like this debate won’t really come to a head until we bequeath names to children, lol.

  16. Random aside: I just saw a headline talking about Kate Middleton (Duchess Catherine) attending the Queen’s garden party, and I couldn’t stop laughing. A hearty thanks to whomever started using the phrase LGP on this website!

  17. Any tips on joint decision-making? My new husband and I don’t decide things the same way. Sometimes I’m really decisive, and he wants to consider all the possibilities. And on some issuese, he’s more decisive and I’m more deliberative.

    We were looking at a house the other day. We talked about it after we came home, and I said I didn’t like it for XYZ reasons, but I wasn’t 100% sure. He thought I had made up my mind, and started spending the money we had for a down payment on other things. (Not stupid stuff – things we had also talked about spending it on.)

    I guess – Do we just need time to figure out each other? Is this going to get easier? We’ve only been married a few months.

    1. No advice, but I’d be interested to see any responses. I have the same issue–except it’s always that I am decisive (I consider all the possibilities QUICKLY, weigh pros and cons, do a gut check, and that’s that), and my SO is not. He just shies away from decisions. And it’s been a bit of an issue!

    2. Hold up, he actually spent the down payment or part of it? That would be a problem for us if we had earmarked funds like that. Sit down and talk about your decision making. Come up with parameters for how long it should take, when you think unilateral decisions are ok, what your sticking points are, etc. Also, you might want to consider how much you can spend from joint funds without talking to each other first. And yes, you will learn how to communicate better and work together. It will still be hard sometimes to make decisions because you both will have strong opinions about things.

    3. My parents are VERY different people. So they created a whole bunch of rules and checks and balances to get along with each other. For example, when it came to naming us kids my mom created a list of boys names and my dad had veto power; my dad created a list of girls names and my mom had veto power. They broke the process of decision making into multiple pieces and made sure that each had some say. On vacations, everyone gets to pick one thing for all of us to do as a group and no one will complain while doing those things. When making large purchases, one person creates a budget, the other does the research. My mom picks the colors, my dad picks the style of furniture.

      Now the end results are sometimes more interesting than one would expect (Pink and turquoise upholstered craftsman/mission furniture? Two girls with boys’ names and a boy whose name was changed the week he came home from the hospital?) But who wants to live a boring life? Figure out how to make the decisions belong to both of you. If that means you require a waiting policy (I will make my decision in five days and you will not bother me about it until then!) then you require a waiting period. If he wants to make snap judgements make it clear what things he can do that for (Dinner on Tuesdays! His clothes! His vehicle! Your four-day, long weekend, vacation where you will not complain!) and things he can’t (Schools for children! Buying pets! Buying real estate!).

      Rules are your friend!

    4. You might be interested in taking the Myers-Briggs and learning more about your respective temperaments. My husband is a “P” (very deliberate, considers all options, researches everything, hates making decisions) and I am a “J” (hate having things hanging my head, feel much better once we’ve made a decision.) I routinely say things like, “Okay, you’re just being a P about this,” and he’ll say, “Stop being such a J!” and the temperament analysis helps give us both a framework to understand why and how we are so, SO different on decision-making.

      I wish I could tell you that it gets easier. In my experience, it does not. It just gets harder, especially as you start getting into harder decisions (buying house, changing jobs, moving cities, having kids, etc.). But you can get through it and make it work. We often assign a “decision captain” to decisions – and that person gets to be in charge of HOW we make the decision (though not WHAT the actual decision is.) And sometimes you just pick your battles. (DH wants to spend three weeks researching cell phone plans? Well, that’s his call, but I am not going to be involved and he can just decide.)

      Good luck.

    5. So there are really two parts to your question. The first part is the differing styles of decision making. My DH is definitely more deliberative about most decisions and he generally needs things to be written down/modeled for him (he loves an excel spreadsheet something fierce.) On the other hand, I can be a bit impulsive, but what I really need is to talk a problem out and consider the various sides of the problem out loud. So generally when there’s a big decision to make, we go to different corners for some period of time so I have time to ruminate and he has time to make his spreadsheets and do his research and then we come back together and I get to ask questions and express my worries based on his model.

      On the other hand, because of his deliberative nature, it can sometimes be very hard for DH to pull the trigger on decisions (like, for example, actually booking a vacation – he can easily talk himself out of the expense no matter how excited we are or how much we need the trip.) So sometimes, after we’ve talked and modeled and generally worked through things, I sort of have to put my foot down and demand action. It works for us.

      The second part of your question is a little more complicated; you clearly need to establish some more ground rules in your relationship regarding what decisions need to be double-checked with each other or just give prior notice. I think spending significant quantities of money should be on that list (I know that DH and I always check with each other on these sorts of things.) In addition, if you are in the house hunting market, you should keep the down payment money on reserve semi-permanently, in absence of an emergency. Because you actually never know when a house you really like comes on the market. The house we bought came on when we had actually decided “not to look anymore.” But DH saw it on Zillow and was like “WE HAVE TO GO” so we scheduled a visit (we had to actually call and hire a real estate agent…that’s how out of the game we were) and we made an offer by the end of the week to beat the open house. That would have been hard if we didn’t have the money for our downpayment readily accessible.

      Anyway – I think if you can find a way to make decisions that allows both of you time to think … and comes with built in thinking time (which actually prevents some of the impulsiveness that can be dangerous), that would be a good thing. But, I think first you need to talk about a few ground rules that should just be non-negotiable – like you can’t spend more than x amount without checking with the other person. That’s pretty vital.

    6. It’s only going to get easier if you talk about it. Talk about it in rational, adult terms — come here for your emotional support if you need any. Your DH will have no clue what to do with: “it really hurt my feelings when you spent the money.” He will be able to discuss: “I noticed you spent the money without talking to me. We need to prevent that from happening again – these things are joint decisions now.” Good luck.

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