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Try #2 for Coffee Break, as I posted an entire thing about this stylish bag, only to remember we just posted about it two months ago. (The downside to having traveled far more than usual over the past month is that I have no idea if I'm coming or going. That's done now, and I am so excited to be back at my desk and not trying to squish multiple workdays into a few hours!) This cute belt is part of the pretty great sale going on at Brooks Brothers — it was $198, then marked to $98, and then it comes down an additional 25% off in today's sale. It's available in cognac (pictured) and navy, sizes S-XL — it seems like a great belt to wear with dresses and jumpsuits. Leather Pin-Closure Belt This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!Sales of note for 7.19.24
- Nordstrom – The Nordstrom Anniversary Sale is now open to everybody! Here are all of our picks, and here are reader favorites.
- Ann Taylor – Semi-annual sale, extra 50% off markdowns + 20% off everything!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, take an extra 20% off your purchase
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles
- Everlane – Up to 70% off
- J.Crew – End of Season Sale, extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Madewell – End of season sale, up to 70% off with code.
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide. (Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this is the biggest sitewide discount I've ever seen…)
- Rothy's – Lots of great finds in the “final few” section
- Talbots – Semi-annual red door sale, extra 40% off markdowns
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- Is there a mantra or slogan that will help me combat imposter syndrome?
- AITA for not moving to the middle seat to be closer to my husband on a recent flight?
- What are your latest favorite nonfiction books for fans of Mary Beard?
- I'm so annoyed by people who look at their smart watches instead of paying attention to our conversation…
- Let's have a secrets thread…
- I need tips on managing employees in BigLaw who have to leave for daycare pickup…
- I'm thinking of leaning out to spend more time with my family – how can I find the perfect job for that?
New name who dis
I’m WAY overthinking this. I need a script that I can email to close colleagues to let them know that I’ve assumed my spouse’s name after marriage. IT made the changes to our networks sooner than expected – so my email is ALREADY changed to NewLastName.
Many thanks!
azcpa
I would check with your IT folks – your old email should forward to the new one. Then you can simply including a note in your email signature for people to update their contacts to the new email.
Anonymous
People do this? I’ve never received an email like this and I am friends with several colleagues who have changed their names. I don’t think it’s necessary.
Pink
+1 I don’t think a note is necessary: people will assume you got married. A friend of mine got divorced but kept it so low key that when IT changed her email (at her request), several people in our 20 person office congratulated her on her marriage. She handled it gracefully but I thought it was weird of them to assume.
Ellen
I think it is helpful, particularly if your new name is different from your unmarried name. In my case, we had a lot of discussion over whether I would become Ellen Sheketovits or keep Ellen Barshevsky. We talked about hypeninating it, but that would be to many letters for the kids to have on their exams and other things. Fortunately we never got there b/c my dad told me to dump him b/c he preferred the bottle to me. That was hard to do but I did it, and now do not regret it. So I say to the OP, do what I was almost going to do, and if you don’t go through with it, like me, you will have kept your old name. Good luck to you as you move forward with your life! YAY!!
Anon
For a few months after your name is changed, sign it “Jane (Smith) Doe” so that 1) if people look for your emails in their search box by your last name it will still come up and 2) it is super obvious that your name changed. It’s no one’s business why your name changed, just that they know it has.
Anonymous
The only time I’ve gotten this email was from a very young (early 20s) colleague who was SUPER excited about her wedding. (We had been hearing the plans for weeks.) I think you’re fine to just tell colleagues at your next team meeting.
When I emailed clients, I’d start my emails, “Hi Jane, This is First OldLastName – I’m First NewLastName now. [Work blah blah.]”
Anno
Don’t do this.
Cat
No need to send an email (but agreed with the (old name) insert mentioned above), unless perhaps it has been several years since your marriage and you’ve now decided to change it? In that case, I’d just drop by (since you mention just close colleague) and in the course of conversation mention “FYI, I’ve decided to adopt Husband’s last name, so when you see that pop up in your email, that’s why!”
cbackson
If people type in your old email, will it still get to you? If not, then you do actually need to let people know.
Aggie
IT can set this up. They can also point both of your last names to the same address as a contact in Outlook.
Anon
Please don’t do this. I would roll my eyes at you so hard – just being honest – and I’m sure I wouldn’t be the only one.
Anon
Someone I work with occasionally (not internal) recently sent an email to me from her new name. I didn’t recognize who it was immediately but her signature block reads (for example): Mary Smith Jones, where Smith was her previous last name. She also added this text to her signature block, I assume temporarily: “Please note change in last name and email address below.” I honestly didn’t see the note the first time I read the email but did see her former last name in the signature block, which was plenty for me to get the picture. Her name changed, that’s all I need to know. Cool.
Anon
Sorry, in case it wasn’t clear, she didn’t send an email specifically announcing the name change–the email was about something else entirely.
cbackson
This is the most common way I’ve seen this handled.
Anonymous
It didn’t even occur to me to do this. I just put my original last name in parentheses in my email signature either between my first name and new last name, or after my new last name (forget which one I did). Removed it several months later.
Small Firm IP Litigator
I agree you don’t need to do this.
Also, fun anecdote – My former firm changed my email address/name in the system etc. when I got married without telling me. BUT I DDIN’T CHANGE MY NAME. So I had to get it changed back, but they somehow lost my whole former inbox in the process. Whee.
bundle of questions (& nerves)
Hi, I’m a longtime lurker (who tends to read several days after the posts are up to maximize comment enjoyment). I just read the thread suggesting that people are still wearing tights, and I freaked out slightly. I am a young big law attorney that is arguing a pro bono criminal case in front of a circuit court tomorrow – do I have to wear tights? I don’t want to screw this up but also that seems extreme (never wore them for OCI, etc).
Signed, a person who has never done this before and is contemplating a Macy’s run.
Anonymous
Are you talking about tights or hose? Tights, sure, but only if you’re cold. I wear sheer nude hose for most formal, which would include a circuit court argument.
Anonymous
Federal circuit court?
If so, and the weather cooperates, I think you can skip the hose.
I have done a number of Second Circuit arguments and think you would be safe bare-legged.
Anonymous
Do you mean the post where Canadian were commenting that we’re still wearing black tights? We’re just cold here right now as it’s a miserable spring in many places.
That said, I usually wear nude hose to court even though I don’t normally wear them to the office. No particular reason, just feels more formal.
AnonInfinity
This probably depends on where you are. It’s in the 80s where I live, and someone showing up in tights in court would get major side eye. Most women do wear nude hose in court, though, unfortunately.
Anon
88 here and same. I occasionally wear hose to court and probably would for federal court. I don’t think I’d wear tights to court ever, but that’s just me–I feel like they’re slightly less formal than hose and since it just doesn’t get that cold here very often, wearing a pants suit would be a fine alternative.
Never too many shoes...
I wore black tights today because Toronto is rainy and miserable. But I am black tights or nothing, even for court – I loathe hose. Loathe.
trefoil
+1 – I wear black tights to superior court and bare legs to everything else once it’s warm enough.
Jeffiner
I’m curious, what is the difference in black tights and nude hose that makes you wear one but loathe the other? I generally wear colored tights in winter, but if an outfit would look better with nude hose, I don’t mind them.
Never too many shoes...
Opaque tights don’t run is probably the #1 reason for me. I also like the way that black tights into black shoes lengthens my short legs. Nude hose, to my eye, always looks either shimmery or orange and does not really add anything to an outfit. Lastly, I wear opaque tights in winter only for warmth – the idea of pulling anything over my legs in summer is an absolute pass.
Anon
There’s also the British English vs American English thing where “tights” means all hose, including sheer, in the UK. Not sure where Canadians fall on this but I feel like every time we have a tights post there’s also a language issue.
bundle of questions (& nerves)
Thanks so much everyone! It sounds like, unfortunately, I will be wearing some.
For me, the words are interchangeable, so I apologize for any confusion in that arena. And I recognize that the original post regarding tights wasn’t exactly on topic, it simply jogged my memory that people do, in fact, wear tights/hose in more formal situations, and that I should consider it for this argument. And now I definitely will!
Anonymous
I always wear nude hose when I have an oral argument in state or federal court. But not every woman in my office does. To me, it is just part of my most formal court wear.
Anonymous
I wear nude hose to federal court. Appellate court is really formal, even more than trial court.
Irish Midori
I’m headed to small claims court this morning with bare legs and a nose stud. I would probably take out the jewelry for state circuit court, and maybe add nude hose (or more likely just wear a pantsuit) to federal circuit court or state appellate court.
Anonymous
I need shoe help. Narrow heels, bunions (i.e., duck feet) — prefer flats to heels. What are cute but comfortable shoes for summer dresses?
azcpa
How dressy – is this for work? I tend to wear Tom’s with summer skirts and dresses, and have exactly the same feet. But they are very casual.
Anonymous
No, more weekend stuff. Birks just aren’t cutting it anymore!
Anon
I was just about to recommend all things Birk. Rats :-(
Absent that, Merrell.
Anon
I have similar feet. Recently have had luck with Rothy’s (sizing up) and Naturalizer D’Orsay flats (sizing down in wide) for work and Nisolo huaraches and serena sandals for casual wear.
Anonome
Seconding Rothy’s. I usually wear a size 9 wide and have the same duck feet as the OP, but the Rothy’s size 10 pointed flats fit me perfectly. I also like how the material snaps back; I’ve found that my triangle feet and supination tend to make leather or fabric flats stretch outwards and “roll” until they’re misshapen.
$20 off code: https://share.rothys.com/x/NveXgE
;aslkdjf
I have the munro pisces sandal (in wide) and love it. I got a metallic which works well with dresses and I can walk for miles in them (#festivalshoes).
Anon
Madewell! I also suffer from bunions and have found their sandals to generally be very good for me. This season, I picked up a pair of their Kate sandals (with 2 inch heels) perfect for me, with no break-in required. The sandals are also on Nordstrom if sold out at Madewell.
Tween Pear
My friend’s tween daughter is built like me — solid pear. No pants fit her well. I shared my favorites (Levis curvy cut, sized way up; Loft Julie fit; Ann Taylor curvy cut). But I am (ahem) not a tween by decades and decades. Any other more youthful things to suggest? My own daughters will be in this age bracket soon and if they are shaped like me will be handy to know for future reference.
Monday
Madewell, though it’s pricey for kids. Their regular jeans accommodate curves well, and they also have a curvy jeans line. I have not been happy with J. Crew curvy pants even though they’re Madewell’s parent company.
Anonymous
OP here — I guess she is officially a teen now (but I’ve known her family for 5 years — eek). Madewell is in our mall, so easy to check out. Thanks!
AnonMom
Old Navy has the hidden inner elastic in most of their kids-sized pants and shorts, and a lot of styles are available online up to girls size 18. My (low percentile height/proportionally weighted) 14 YO loves them.
Anonymous
Thanks!
My kids are really tall, but right now the one that is 5-3 can still wear a girls 12 (for girth) but most things are too short (dresses, pants). Once puberty fully hits though, all bets are off.
Anonymous
OK speaking of Liberty prints this morning, I really like this shirt/dress on the model, but I don’t see it at BB. Am I missing it?
Anonymous
The Acura ads on mobile for this thread and the morning thread are absolutely intolerable. The ad presents a border around the entire viewing window and shrinks the viewing plane every 30 seconds or so. I exited out o the add and it simply came back (same page) a minute later. You can’t thoughtfully read anything if the viewing window keeps expanding and contracting with the ad.
Cycle One
Hi ladies, I’m probably going to start IVF soon. Any practical advice or words of wisdom? Thanks in advance!
Anonymous
Run your own race. Pick a doctor you think is good and trust them. The internet is full of women sharing tips and tricks that are false. There are so many variables in treatment you need to do what works for you. The shots are really not that bad, but if you struggle or have questions about anything call the on-call nurse.
KW
Some rambling thoughts: Write everything down, even things you think you will remember, because it’s just so much info at the beginning. I remember being totally overwhelmed with the different meds and needle sizes and ultimately getting to the trigger shot and not remembering whether it went into my stomach or bum. Not to mention the different appointment dates and times. At the beginning I iced and warmed the injection sites, but at the end, I just went for it and never had any bruising or lumps. Stick the needle in quick; it hurts less that way. Stay away from g00gle and message boards. Try not to stress about every little thing along the way – MUCH easier said than done, I know – but so much of it is out of your (and the dr’s) control. I’ve been there, and it’s hard. Good luck!
Jeffiner
Keep a calendar or list or something to mark off when you take your shots. They become part of your routine, and sometimes after brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed, I couldn’t remember if I’d actually done the injections or not. Keep a band-aid handy because sometimes you’ll hit a bleedy spot.
Anon Lawyer
My clinic provided me with a checklist calendar, which I really appreciated. And yet I still had a dream last night that I was doing a new round of IVF and forgot some of the shots.
yogi
I’ll be doing the same – no advice – but I wanted you to know you’re not alone.
Cycle One
Good luck to you as well in this process. You’re not alone either and I wish you all the best.
Cycle One
Thanks ladies. All very helpful, especially writing things down. I already went to an initial appointment and my doctor is very good at explaining things but I already forgot half the things he said.
Anon Lawyer
My experience was that it was okay physically – I didn’t have many side effects (and I gather that’s not uncommon) and the shots were doable, albeit you do feel like a pin cushion at the end. But I would be prepared for it to be VERY emotionally grueling. Even minor stuff feels so overwhelming – like I had to delay a month because my hormones were out of whack the first time, and I just felt so devastated, like it would never, ever succeed. (It did, so there’s hope!)
I actually did find online support very helpful. But I would not pay too much attention to other peoples’ egg retrieval/blastocyst numbers. That’s a rabbit hole it’s very hard to go down and in the end, everyone is very individual this way.
Patricia Gardiner
As Anon Lawyer above said, the emotional aspect was so much harder for me than I expected, so be kind to yourself and know that it’s normal to feel out of whack!
Make sure you know the after-hours number for questions.
Know that the retrieval date can be predicted but could shift a few days either way- you need some flexibility at work during those few weeks.
Know that even if the first cycle is a complete bust, it’s not necessarily the end of the line- there are lots of protocol tweaks that can help.
Mostly, good luck to you and yogi above. IVF can be grueling and isolating but it’s so much more common than you might think.
Where can i buy this this top?
I LOVE the top/dress (can’t tell from the picture) shown in this picture, but can’t find it on Brooks Brothers’ website. Has anyone seen it?
Anonymous
How do you balance doing things you know are bad for you vs. you know — living life? Could be anything – drinking, smoking, not working out etc.
In my case — it’s sweetened drinks. Specifically I’m an iced tea drinker (the bottled kind – ugh – which have less sugar than soda but maybe only 25% less); I drink the kinds with real sugar not HFCS. It’s a once a day thing. And with all of the recent news on how sugared drinks are bad for you (we all knew about sodas but now they’re saying even natural sugar from orange juice is bad), I really feel like I’m doing something terrible. And yet the thing is this REALLY is my only bad thing. I don’t drink (at all – ever – religious reasons); don’t smoke. Walk about 2 miles/day — which in suburban life is a lot. I’ve cut it back to about 4 days a week, rather than 7, but then I’m like — can I really not do ANYTHING that I look forward to? I know people will suggest alternatives — I drink water and yet I find it boring; I have no interest in flavored/sparkling waters; and I realize there are organic/low sugar teas out there but I’d rather just not have them if I can’t have what I usually drink.
So what are your bad things – how do you balance? Like for example – if your thing is wine drinking etc. have you cut back given recent studies re effects on womens health?
Senior Attorney
Honestly if it’s four a week I wouldn’t worry about it. Good grief it’s not like any of us is going to live forever.
Anon
Given family history and my own health habits, I will probably live until 90. I DGAF if I keel over at 91 instead of 95 because I eat ice cream four times a week.
Anon
Same. I’d rather die in my 80s than my 90s anyway, much less chance of dementia.
Anonymous
You may change your mind when you are 89!
Anonymous
You’re fine. One sugary tea a day is not going to be your downfall. If you want to stretch it a bit to minimize the sugar, top it up with club soda or sparkling water.
I just try to avoid processed meats/foods, eat reasonable portion sizes. don’t smoke and drink moderately (as in a glass of wine with dinner a few times a week and the rare cocktail night with girlfriends), and exercise semi-regularly.
Anonymous
Moderation. All of us are going to die of something.
I told this story last week when someone else was freaking out about junk food. My grandparents, who’ve so far both lived healthfully into their 90s, have subsisted almost entirely on canned or processed food since it became widely available in the 1950s. Canned soup, canned meats, canned veggies, storebought cakes and pies, ice cream, cereal, crackers, cookies. The only thing fresh to ever enter their home was iceberg lettuce and ground beef for hamburgers. (Grandma is in assisted living now because her eyesight has failed.) Meanwhile, one of the healthiest people I know has cancer and another healthy person had both hips replaced in her 50s!
Do what’s good for you because you want to do it, not because you read a report that scared you into it.
Anon
Raises hand! I was raised on scratch meals made at home, few sodas (only at friends’ houses), few treats except on birthdays, played soccer year-round, and ran cross country. In short, I was a very healthy adolescent. (A bit of alcohol but NO cigarettes or drugs.) I got breast cancer at 24, which is unheard of. Sometimes you just lose the gene lottery. (Unfortunately my diet is nowhere near as good as it was and I no longer work out strenuously six times a week… but, hey, I like my job so that’s good! And wine makes me happy!)
anon
My bad thing is that I really like sweet treats and don’t intend to give them up, unless a medical diagnosis forces me to. I moderate by setting clear parameters about when I can indulge — during the workday, probably not; at home after the kids go to bed — he!! yes. Grocery-store cookies? Nope, I’ll pass; they’re usually not worth it. Homemade cookies? I’ll have seconds, thanks. Other than this indulgence, my diet is pretty darn good. I am positive that I’d lose 5+ vanity pounds if I quit sweets immediately, but I don’t want to? Dessert brings me a great deal of pleasure, more so than wine or (gasp) even coffee.
Vicky Austin
OK, sure, so the natural sugar from OJ is bad. Does that mean you should throw the Vitamin C baby out with the sugary bathwater? Everything – everything! – is a tradeoff. Your favorite tea might have sugar. It also has hydration, and joy. Put those things on a scale. Which side outweighs the other?
I am team enjoy your vices – maybe only one at a time except on special occasions – but enjoy them.
Housecounsel
My vice is Diet Coke. Yes, I know what everyone says . . . but this is my ONE vice. It doesn’t hurt anyone else, like overdrinking or smoking, etc. I will join Vicky’s Enjoy Your Vices team.
Cookbooks
+1 Diet Coke is my weakness. Even though I’ve cut down slowly, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to quit altogether.
Anonymous
I mean actually yes. Most people should not be regularly drinking fruit juice.
Anon
+1
Anon
+1 if the only way to live to 100 is to give up all the things that make you want to live to 100, what’s the point?
Anonymous
I am one of the healthiest people I know (low BP, ideal weight, good diet, could exercise a bit more but who couldn’t, regular blood donor, etc.). Hasn’t kept me from having 4 surgeries of various sorts in the past 4 years though :(
Sometimes, bad luck/bad genes > healthy habits
Anonymous
…Does giving blood make you healthier…?
Anonymous
It does if your iron count is too high. I’m not aware of other health benefits, but it is an indicator that certain markers of potential illness are not present, since they’d prevent her from giving (as would certain lifestyle factors that may have no actual negative health effects).
Anonymous
Thanks! Appreciate the response
Anonymous
I don’t think 4 Snapples a week (that’s the only one I can think of that’s made of sugar rather than HCFS) is THAT bad. It’s a balance — you have to do SOMETHING because it’s the rare person that subsists on kale and water and nothing else. 0 would be better, 7 would be worse so you’re right in the middle. Plus IDK if this is the point but I always think those studies are aimed at people who drink soda/Snapple etc. ALL DAY LONG. I come from a place where people grow up on soda — as in, they’re thirsty, they grab a soda instead of water; so it isn’t rare for people to be drinking 6+ soda/teas per day. So I totally wouldn’t worry that much about FOUR. If you want to make yourself feel better — cut it down to 2 or 3 per week and then just go with it; or some weeks do 4 and some weeks do 2.
I think there are much worse habits out there. Plus I don’t think these things are THAT bad if you’re eating normally — some vegetables — and getting some activity in there. It’s must worse when people live on a diet of hot dogs or burgers and then drink 5 sodas/day.
Vicky Austin
+1 to the intended audience of these recommendations.
Anon
Once a day and never any alcohol? I’d say you’re doing way better than the vast majority of the population! (I think? Right?) I am kind of happy that it’s finally becoming (more) mainstream knowledge that beverages with sugar (even juice!) are nearly empty calories. But you know that, so, meh, you’re fine! :)
anon
Tea has antioxidants! You’re fine! It’s not like you’re drinking 20 bottles per day.
If it makes you feel any better, my dad lived almost entirely on whiskey and rx pills for literally years and he’s still alive and kicking in his 70s.
If reading an article about the evils of sugar throws you into a tizzy, just don’t read the articles. Remember all the articles from the 90s about how fat was the antichrist, and then the ’00s it was carbs? Now it’s sugar. In 10 years it’ll be something else. If you’re generally eating fruits, veggies, protein, and whole grains, it is fine to have fun, yummy treats. It’s fine even if you’re not doing that. If you see any articles about the evils of sugar, just close the browser window immediately! :)
Anon
For real though. I am 54. I cannot tell you the number of things that were terrible to eat and are now fine, and vice versa, that I have been warned about over my lifetime.
And for those of you who just think we were wrong before but have it correct now, haha just wait. It will all change again in 10 years time.
Anonymous
I grew up in the 80s-90s, eggs were THE WORST. SO high in cholesterol, so bad for you. It was recommended that you have like 1 egg a week. And then in the last decade, OMG eggs are the BEST, BEST protein source ever, snack on them 4-5 times/week. Though I feel like I saw something in the last year with the pendulum swinging the other way on eggs again though I don’t even remember what. I go with a moderation policy. Well not really — I’m one of those people that’ll buy a dozen eggs and then have about 6 servings of eggs (2 each time) for the next 2-3 weeks. Then I’m done and then next time I buy eggs will be 2-3 months later. So it’s eggs about once a quarter for me.
Inspired by Hermione
I don’t keep soda at home so if I want it I have to stop and get it or go out and get it. Sometimes that’s enough to make me stop and consider. But it cut down a lot on the “I’m bored, let me grab a Coke” that I used to do. I’m sure if I cut out soda I could lose some weight, but I haven’t found anything I like to replace it with…
Anonymous
That’s the same way I cut back. I no longer buy any for home. So I get them about 3-4 days a week at lunch at work. But if I’m home and I want it, now that I live in an apartment in suburbia, I have to go down to the garage, get my car out of the garage and drive to the store; I find I never want it THAT much. When I lived in Manhattan it was more of a — walk to a bodega at night if you want one; but I “justified” that in my mind a bit more because I was walking there and back and often even walking around as I enjoyed my beverage, so I was at least burning off some of the sugar being consumed.
Anonymous
There are places where people are drinking 4 sugary teas (often sweeter than the bottled ones)/sodas PER DAY AND they aren’t walking 2 miles or anywhere close to that as they park in their driveway and then as close as possible to wherever they’re going. I honestly wouldn’t worry about it. If you want to cut it back, sure; but if it really is your one vice (sounds like it is) — just go with it. I mean some people eat a bowl of ice cream every night and that’s about the same amount of sugar as 1 bottled tea and you’re not hearing about that? Because the Harvard study that came out in March specifically was commissioned to look at sodas and sports drinks.
Anon
I transitioned to unsweetened iced tea from Diet Coke because I wanted to stop ingesting artificial sweeteners. I find that some “unsweetened” iced teas are sweeter than others. Like those made with dried fruit. But the actual sugar level is negligible. Would you consider transitioning to those?
Or maybe “water down”your sweetened iced teas with half unsweetened until your taste buds adjust.
Anon
To me it makes a difference if I truly know that it’s bad specifically for me. My blood sugar (and then my insulin) would spike if I had sweet tea or juice, which I know from medical testing and from symptoms I experience. I don’t want to experience symptoms, gain weight, or burn out my beta cells, so I don’t drink sweet drinks. Last I heard, 1/3 of adult Americans were at least prediabetic, so there are plenty of people like me out there. I assume we’re represented in the studies that conclude juice and sweet tea are bad news.
But I’m not hearing that you experience any negative symptoms from this habit of yours. I’m going to guess that your A1C is fine too. So why should you follow my dietary restrictions? Now if you were drinking sweet tea all day long, I’d wonder how long you could keep that up. But I know there people from previous generations who maintained a habit like yours into old age without any issues. Maybe you have their genes?
Anonymous
The Harvard study found increased risk in those consuming 2 sodas PER DAY and then even worse at 4 sodas PER DAY. The study was done over 20 years, so I’m guess they used a standard can size for that time – 12 oz. So they’re looking at people who drank 24oz/per day or 168 oz/week and people who drank 48 oz/day or 336 oz/week.
Bottled teas are what 16 oz servings now? 4 per week puts you at 64 oz. That’s at 38% of the lower end of the range they looked at plus bottled teas have about 75-80% of the sugar of soda. Point is – you’re a good deal below the ranges that doctors find concerning, and given that you’re thinking about this – chances are you’ll cut out another 1-2 servings here or there per month and be even further below. Enjoy and don’t worry about it.
Mom hoarding
I have to pack up and move and it’s my first parental move. How much baby stuff do you save for posterity? I have a rubbermaid tub of “precious items” and I’ve given away a lot of books. But there are a few precious ones (like less than one small moving box) along with some picture books. I also have maybe a small box of miscellaneous simple toys (blocks, staking toy, a couple of wood toys, etc.).
I’m done having kids; grandkids are maybe 20+ years away.
What do you all do?
Anon
This seems like a very small number of things to keep. Why are you giving yourself a hard time about it?
Anon
Agree.
anon
I moved last year. My son was 3. I kept anything I wanted for sentimental value and gave away or threw out everything that I thought might be useful “for a second child” (I know I’m done having kids) or “for the grandkids” (who may never exist, and whose parents will want their own new stuff). The sentimental items were also less than a moving box and include a collection of baby blankets–my mom’s, my husband’s, mine, and 2 handmade for my son, and some small miscellaneous items.
For what it’s worth, I appreciate that my mom saved some sentimental items from my baby and childhood. She passed them on at my baby shower, which was really sweet. They were pretty limited though–the blankets, a couple of books, and the little silver spoons and cups that people inexplicably give babies. Of course, YMMV.
And of course keep the photos/ photo books!
Watcher
I need a new fun comedy/dramady show to watch. We recently watched Dead Like Me on Amazon (which if you haven’t seen, you really should, it’s great), and then inhaled Santa Clarita Diet (which I was really dismayed to learn has been cancelled – darn you, Netflix!).
Basically, I want something fun and quirky and sort of light and sweet. It can be about dark subject matter (like those 2 examples), but shouldn’t really feel dark to watch. I like black comedy and the sort of “nothing matters” comedy (say, South Park), but that’s not what I’m looking for here – I like when it’s absurd but I also sort of care about the characters. (A few other examples I can think of are Psych, Burn Notice, Monk, or early Buffy the Vampire Slayer.) I have Netflix, Prime, or premium cable. TIA!
Monday
Check out Imposters on Netflix. It’s noir but also kind of ridiculous.
Anon
+1. YES.
Anon
Since you liked Psych, you may also like the first few seasons of iZombie (i would not recommend the last couple, but Seasons 1-3 are great) – its a crime procedural with fun characters
PolyD
If you like Monk and Psych you may enjoy old school crime-solving shows – like Columbo! The stories are pretty good, and it’s fun to watch for the awesome 1970s fashion and interior design.
Kind of out of left field, but I’ve been enjoying Bob’s Burgers. It’s rather weird and took me a few episodes to get into it, but I like it now. Strange, but sweet in a way.
Mpls
And if you end up liking iZombie, then go back and watch Veronica Mars (streaming on Hulu). iZombie is basically VM with zombies.
VM will have new episodes this summer (July)
Ribena
I love The Bold Type on Amazon.
Stars
+1
Anoner
Schitts Creek!
Cookbooks
+1 Schitts Creek is hilarious!
5:00 whistle
Fleabag, but you need to watch Season 1 before Season 2 (the last).
Senior Attorney
I don’t know if this is exactly what you’re looking for, but my husband and I inhaled Sex Education on Netflix. Also Maniac, also on Netflix. Oh, and Russian Doll!!
anon a mouse
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend checks those boxes.
Anonymous
Fleabag on Prime!
Anon
Try the Good Place.
Never too many shoes...
Grace and Frankie.
Morningstar
+1. Love Grace and Frankie. The lead actresses are absolute treasures.
Tz
Try Catastrophe on Prime and After Life on Netflix
Morningstar
Lucifer on Netflix. I don’t think it’s billed as a comedy and looks like a procedural crime drama on the surface, but I enjoyed it as a dark comedy. Satan heads to LA for a much needed vacation and opens a nightclub … he cannot tell a lie, but no one believes he is the actual devil so no worries!!
He gets involved in solving crimes with a good cop since he can also get others to tell him the truth. He’s so self-centered that every investigation takes the sidelines to his own inner turmoil/immaturity/party-lifestyle/immortal concerns but somehow becomes a learning experience for him … whether he learns the right lesson or runs off half-cocked in pursuit of the wrong one …
Anon
I’m also really enjoying Lucifer and I normally don’t like procedurals.
You may also like one Mississippi (amazon prime) and rammy (Hulu)…I’ll post more in a few :)
Anon
Hulu- shrill, deadbeat (the original version), ap bio
Netflix- umbrella academy, atypical, working moms
eertmeert
Party Down – 2 seasons, both absolute gems.
Anon for this
I’m in outer borough NYC. I want to break the lease on my apartment, and plan to email the management company. I will be giving them about a months notice. Any advice on how to approach that email? There are serious issues with the apartment but I did not address them with management because there is nothing they could do more than they are doing (bugs that are not solved with monthly exterminator, elevator regularly breaking) and when I initially rented the place I spoke with the management of the building about personal reasons why this is not a long term place for me. I’ve been there a bit over a year. Should I just say I want to leave, or give reasons, and if reasons then the issues with the apartment or the personal ones? They are all true and are all factors. I’m hoping to get my deposit back but I realize that’s probably not happening.
Ribena
Just say you want to leave. They will probably do some sort of check-out form with you when you actually hand the keys back.
Inspired by Hermione
I’d just say that you’re leaving. It’s doubtful anything you say will make a huge impact and you want to maintain the relationship for moveout, deposit, etc. “Hi, Manager- I’m writing to give my 30 days notice. I plan to move out on X date. Please let me know if there is anything I need to do to ensure a smooth move out.” It’s a business. They’ll find someone to replace you. It’s not personal to them, it shouldn’t feel like it to you.
Ducky36
It sounds like you should consult a housing attorney. The answer to your question depends on a lot of factors, including the actual terms of your lease and local ordinances. You might be able to negotiate with the landlord and an attorney can help you figure out what kind of leverage you have.
Anon9
How many more months do you have on your apt? You could be on the hook for the remainder of the lease. Landlord should try to find a replacement tenant, but that may or may not happen in a timely manner. On the plus side, this is a good time of year for the landlord to find another tenant and rents are supposedly rising in NYC at the present time.
Anonymous
Dating question. And I know it’s late in the day, I might post again in the morning if no one sees this (ahem, possibly due to mod). How important is it that your partner moves through life at the same “pace” that you do? I ran across this for the first time this weekend and hands down it was a dealbreaker, at least with this guy, but it’s something I’d never really thought about and I’m curious what others think.
With this guy – idk how to describe it, but he’s just sluggish in everything he does. This was a second date and he picked me up from my house. He drove around forever looking for the perfect parking spot even though there were plenty of open spots. When he parked, he turned off the car (so no AC) but took forever to get out of the car. Same thing when we got back in the car – he shut the door but didn’t turn the air on for SEVEN MINUTES (yes I counted) while he fiddled with things. When we would cross the street on a pedestrian signal, he would wait for all the cars to make their turns across the cross walk before he would cross the street – almost missing our light to cross. He stopped on a yellow light as soon as it turned yellow (oh and btw he’s been rear ended 3 times, he can’t figure out why he’s so unlucky!). I could go on, but you get the idea. I wasn’t in a hurry or anything but it was so freaking irritating. I’ve never encountered anything like it.
Ribena
If he’s irritating you that much on the second date…. cut your losses. You don’t owe him anything.
Anon
This would likely drive me batty. I have a friend who is a bit this way. I’m great when we meet at X place but riding with her or doing things like picking her kid up at school or such tend to annoy me. I would cut bait on this guy. Bad drivers are another pet peeve of mine, though, so he has two big strikes for me. (And, he’s wrong about the pedestrian thing, FWIW. Pedestrians have the right of way and should go first. Key word there is GO. Don’t dawdle (absent physical limitations, of course).
Anonymous
Ha! That sounds like it’s just the tip of the iceberg with him. Would totally be a deal breaker for me! Although the guy I’m currently seeing is super slow at leaving the house (I tease him about it), he’s normally paced about everything else.
Anonymous
“Sluggish cognitive tempo” is an actual diagnosis. (I know because a mental healthcare professional tried to diagnose me with it at a time when I was actually really hypothyroid!) I’ve been curious ever since if people like this may genuinely have a different brain speed (and not just a different upbringing or personality).
Vicky Austin
ARG, the perfect parking spot thing would bug me no end! Barring a physical reason (need to keep the walk a short distance from the door of the establishment or w/e), there is no sense in trying to fine-tune such a mundane aspect of your life.
Anonymous
Lol this is a hard no for me. I’m sure he’s a lovely man who deserves way better than me loathing simply the way he moves through the world, and I deserve better than constantly being enraged by a slow poke.
Anon
Everyone has their pluses and minuses. If the things that you like about the guy aren’t enough to overcome this (seven minutes? I’d be throwing fists) then next! Because you’re not all that invested in him right now anyway.
Never too many shoes...
The dawdling would bother me, but you are supposed to stop on a yellow if you can.
Kira
What do you wear to a casual office?
I’m thinking of taking a job with a casual dress code in the next week, and I’m realizing how different the clothes are from what I wore to my previous business casual-ish consulting job. I wore a patterned pencil skirt, a black top, and black flats to the interview, and was probably slightly overdressed. At the same time I don’t really feel comfortable wearing truly casual clothes, or e en jeans to an office. Should I just get over this? What type of outfits would you wear in a casual outfit? It’s 5-10 years old tech company, still has a little bit of a startup feel. Can I still wear the many pencil skirts I own?
Anonymous
My office transitioned from Business Casual to Casual. I remixed existing my work clothes with casual pieces. I still wear my pencils but with a jeans or leather jacket and casual flats. I won’t be replacing them, though, as they wear out.
eertmeert
I think the place to start would be pairing the pencil skirt with a plain t-shirt, and a jean jacket. I’d either keep the black flats, or switch them out for another color flat. Another option would be pencil skirt and chambray button down or lightweight sweater in fun color. I’d add a pair of sandals or open toe flats.
I work in casual environment and wear dark wash, full length jeans, pullover sweater, booties, scarf combo fall – early spring, or full length jeans with a cute top with a knit blazer. Ankle length jeans or old navy pixie/banana republic sloan ankle pants with patterned/floral/fun solid color top and jean jacket/mid-length cardigan and sandals/flats/open toe low heels from late spring to summer. sometimes – like, twice a year, I wear a dress, but am planning to throw some skirts in the mix this summer. Will wear with my suggestions, above. I wear exclusively skinny jeans, but I see boot cut and flare and they are all cute. I avoid clothes with holes or raw hems.
I think of work casual clothes as outfits I might wear to a laid-back baby shower, shopping downtown, bbq at a friend of a friend’s house, having dinner with family or going out to eat with a friend on a weeknight. Cute, pulled together, but definitely not formal. That separates it from actual casual clothes, which I might throw on for a trip to the local pharmacy, getting the mail, staying in to watch a movie, taking the dog to the park (if I had a dog), or picking up takeout. Like, covering all the necessary bits but not necessary to check myself in the mirror to make I look cohesive because who cares.
Another random design q
Anyone have sources/recommendations for not hideously ugly outdoor (all weather) sconces, that are integrated LED (i.e., not just a fixture that will take an LED bulb)?
New garage and integrated LED is apparently required in California now, but the offerings I’ve found aren’t attractive. Small garage detached from 1920s cottage, if it matters.
Thanks in advance!
JuniorMinion
home depot / lowe’s have a bunch
Anon
Costco has some too
Anonymous
rejuvenation
Anon
Anyone care to give some wedding guest advice?
My step-niece (is that a thing? Not blood related to me) is getting married. She has invited my other niece, her step-sister, to be co-maid of honor. The bride is being super demanding wanting multiple showers and a really expensive bachelorette party including a flight to Vegas and concert tickets, poolside cabanas etc. I think she’s being a total diva but she keeps talking about how it’s her special day and she has done all of this for her friends weddings, and she should get what she wants. She’s being a jerk to her step sister, calling her out on social media and trashing her to family, for not holding up her “obligations” as maid of honor, and praising the other maid of honor, who like the bride, is a young professional with disposable income.
My other niece, the would be maid of honor, is a college student who can’t afford to do all of this, and her parents are not going to pay for any of it. And now she’s gotten to the point where she’s refusing to do anything. So she’s being kind of a jerk too, though she started out with good intentions if a lack of follow-through. I am pretty sure she had no idea what being a maid of honor obligated her to when she accepted.
I am told the bride can’t demote her step sister at this point because the wedding website has her name, there have been pre-wedding pics with the bridal party etc, and just for family appearances she doesn’t want to do that.
How am I involved? The maid of honor niece is very close to me because she is semi-estranged from her parents. I am at the point of not wanting to attend the wedding because the bride is being such an a55, but I am fully aware the maid of honor is not being a perfect person either. I feel worse for her though, honestly, and I don’t think it’s just because I am biased toward her generally. I also think the wedding is going to be a sh1t show of shady comments and disrespect, if not outright fighting.
Any advice? What should I tell my maid of honor niece to do? My bride niece is certainly not going to take any advice from me, though she will be happy to collect my cash wedding gift.
Anonymous
go to the wedding and be polite. The maid of honor isn’t to my mind even doing anything wrong and you don’t need to insert yourself into this drama.
Senior Attorney
And this is the real answer.
Anon
+1
Senior Attorney
Honestly in your shoes I might finance the maid of honor niece’s participation in the wedding party and call it my wedding gift to the bride.
Anon
Here’s your niece’s script: “I understand that your friends do all this for each other, but I am in college and just cannot afford it. I have $X to spend on your wedding – that’s it. If you would like me to step aside, I will do so, with no hard feelings.”
She can’t feed the drama. Once she’s said that, she’s done with discussons.
Attend the wedding – do not add to the drama by reacting to this nonsense. Support your niece by being there.
Stay out of this unless you want a family nightmare.
Anon
+1m to the last sentence. I agree hard with the niece you are closest to. I wish I’d had the maturity and perspective to turn wedding things down when I was younger. Instead, I accepted everything and ended up resenting the entire industry to the point that I’m not sure I want a wedding at all.
Anon
Thanks. It is too late to avoid the family nightmare, unfortunately. I really just want to give my maid of honor niece good advice. I do think giving up and doing nothing was the wrong thing, but it may be too late to do otherwise.
Anon
I don’t have half the drama this situation sounds like, but I recently stepped down from the bridal shower in my brother’s wedding because my requests (just an fyi that my toddler would need a midday nap and not be able to take 8 hrs of pictures) majorly stressed out the bride. Honestly, things have been much smoother since and I’m glad I ripped off the bandaid. Fwiw- I didn’t have my bridesmaids do anything… but a trip for an bachelorette party is pretty standard these days .
Anon
Sorry patty not shower :)
Anon
Your family nightmare can get a lot worse. You do not want to find this out the hard way.
Your niece should have a mature conversation about what she can and cannot afford to do. That’s the advice, always. Drama doesn’t change that.
After this mess, she can walk away. Trust me, the people who acted properly at the wedding and then walk away end up with a lot of peace.
Small Firm IP Litigator
If the wedding is local, I would go but not bring a date/boyfriend/husband. If not local, I wouldn’t want to travel somewhere to be subjected to drama and annoyance, unless you are actually close with either the bride or groom or if by not going you’d be creating more family drama that would last longer than the day itself.
Alok meena
Thank you for sharing useful information
I really like this shirt/dress on the model, but I don’t see it at BB. Am I missing it?