ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 173 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Leopard Suit Blazer

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. There are so many leopard print blazers out there right now that it seems to be the look of the moment — lots of leopard print everywhere, really. This cute blazer at Eloquii (which, FYI, was just bought by Walmart) looks like a great option if you're on the hunt for something in sizes 14–28, and it's getting good reviews. It's $129.90 full price but you can get 50% off with code NEWONSALE, and free shipping, too. Leopard Suit Blazer For options in straight sizes, this leopard Topshop blazer is $125, and this black blazer with leopard details is $328 — both at Nordstrom. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

173 Comments

  1. I have a bunch of clothes (again) that I would like to sell or donate. Where is the best place? The consignment stores near me only accept appointments like 3 months out. Should I do poshmark? Or just donate and not sink time into it?

    OR, any r e t t e s interested in size 6-8 work stuff? :) There are a bunch of dresses, blazers, and a few pants.

    1. I started using Poshmark in the last several months, and now I seriously regret all of the clothes that I got rid of or sent to Thred Up. I’ve found it really satisfying to send my things onto a new home where somebody will hopefully love them again, and get some cash in exchange. Posting to Poshmark is a bit of a chore, but I’ve enjoyed the selling experience there overall.

    2. If you do decide to donate, I would advocate for Dress for Success if there is a chapter in your area.

      2. I personally donate everything to Goodwill, and sometimes stuff to NY Cares b/c I want all people, not those with money to be able to dress well. I think that what goes around comes around, and that people who are looking for a bargan, but can afford to buy better, can get stuff elsewhere, but the poor people should be able to get stuff at Goodwill and NY Cares. I do not know Dress for Sucess, but will ask Margie and the Manageing Partner, b/c Margie does alot of charity work.

        Dad bought me a new Fitbit over the weekend b/c the old one stop sinking to my iphone and his computer, so he could NOT look up all of my statistics. FOOEY b/c he now is abel to see if I don’t do 12,000 steps — he increased my quota since my weight has leveled off, and not dropped. I told him it was b/c muscles weigh more then fat, but he just looked at me and my tuchus and said NISHT! DOUBEL FOOEY! He is to smart! That is a liability, sometimes, like now, but the extra 2000 steps are not tough b/c I walk now to L&T daily now that they are closeing at the end of the year. It is good that Nordstroms will open up on 56th street, but that is to far to walk every day at lunch. Instead, Margie suggests I go right after work, then walk home and get alot of extra steps goeing cross town. I hope she is right b/c Dad says he will be on my tuchus every night if he does NOT see 12000 steps! TRIPEL FOOEY!

    3. Would any of the dresses work for a size 8 pear with some “junk in the trunk”? If so, I’d be interested!

    4. I’ve sold some stuff through ThredUp.
      Here in Atlanta there is also Josie’s Friends.

      Donate what you want. I’ve also heard that Facebook Marketplace helps to sell stuff, if you decide to go that route.

    5. Oooh might be interested in some of the dresses and pants! Can you post an email so we can connect?

    6. I post mine on my local Facebook free group, I break stuff up into lots of like things and it’s usually gone the same day (I have people come pick up). I’ve found it’s the best way to quickly get rid of things, which is my primary goal when I clean out.

    7. Don’t sell on thredup. Here in the south, tons of thredup clothes (marked with thredup tags) end up at big warehouse bargain stores, which is fun for me to shop, but I always feel bad that people are expecting their things that don’t sell to go to good causes. I suggest Poshmark, Ebay, or good local donation places.

  2. Hive, need some advice – how do you handle the employee feedback survey that asks you to score level of satisfaction or agree/disagree with organizational and cultural factors, including how your direct supervisor leads? After a reorg earlier this year, I was reassigned to a leader that is not very strong and simply doesn’t meet expectations. Sometimes I think about not responding – “if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all”……on the other hand, my feedback could be critical for improvement. Responses are confidential so that is not an issue…..thanks in advance!

      1. ditto. I’ve had far too many sketchy bosses to actually believe anything is confidential.

      2. Sadly, this is the way it is in my company too. In fact, I was told by our admin who manages the responses that the responses are not anonymous, but are confidential, whatever that means. I think responses really depend on your company culture. In my company, you can really only say good things in these responses – it’s a way of fishing for compliments. If you actually use it for constructive feedback, people will get bent out of shape.

    2. I’m always honest but in the most diplomatic/constructive way I can muster.

    3. I think it helps to flesh out what “anonymous” means and what kind of feedback you are providing. If you’re providing any written narrative that’s going to be shared with the target, the likelihood of them knowing who provided that feedback is much higher. If it’s just a numerical rating system that’s going to be aggregated, that’s entirely different (although I question how useful that feedback really is).

      As a general matter I feel like you should never drop bombs of negative feedback in an anonymous forum if you haven’t raised concerns in person in a respectful matter — but that’s a lot more reasonable when we’re talking peers or other people in the organization rather than a direct supervisor. So, takeaway? For me, it’s be careful with written feedback, especially if you’re going to express something negative you haven’t said previously, and judicious in ratings but there’s no particular need to lie.

      1. Outstanding advice and thanks for the reminder on anonymous/confidential and to consider what that really means….I will stick with the rating system, no written responses from me…..and I will be judicious rating responses since I have been on team for only 6 months and can only represent my observations over this brief period.

    4. Yeah, I’m very careful about providing written feedback because I don’t believe for a second those surveys are truly anonymous. I think if you can frame your concerns in a constructive way, and make sure you’re able to point out a few things that are going well, the feedback will be taken more seriously. And if it’s not anonymous, you haven’t gone all scorched-earth on your boss.

    5. It also depends on how many people there are in your group and if you can be “outed” because there are so few females, for example, or few people in your classification with X years tenure: These are very common questions and may allow a reader to determine who made what response. Also, some people can recognize anonymous responses by their writing style, as many professors seem to be able to do.

      At a huge employer once, I was on a team of three – two females and one gay male. We all put our orientation as “bise xual” because our coworker didn’t want to put that he was gay and thus have his identity compromised. Whether our bosses figured out whose response was whose I don’t know but it made him happy and didn’t bother me.

  3. Anyone suffer from productivity problems that are directly related to being on the computer? Give me any task that doesn’t involve a computer and I can get it done on time and not procrastinate. Put me in front of a computer and my mind goes to soup. How do I rewire my brain/become part of this generation? For context I am 30 so its not like I haven’t grown up around computers, I am just finding it harder and harder to make myself do anything on them productively.

    1. I think you need to figure out how to treat your computer like a blank piece of paper. Use blocking tools, turn off your wifi etc. If I’m writing, I use pomodoro method and don’t allow myself to look up a reference or article, I just make a note to go and find it to avoid falling down the rabbit hole.

      1. This is good advise. I am on the computer all day, and I have learned that while I am at work, I limit my websurfing to 2 hours a day. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. FOOEY! But after I get home, I do my billing, so I can spend all the time I want on the web, but still bill from the time I turn on until the time I turn off. YAY!!

    2. The self control app is a lifesaver for me. You can set it to blacklist or whitelist websites for a certain period of time and you CAN’T access anything you aren’t supposed to until the timer runs out. Works great in conjunction with pomodoro- you just set the timer for 25 minutes and then when it runs out, it’ll pop up on your screen.
      I also like a routine when I sit down at the computer. I got used to certain routines with work on paper (get out a good pen, make a cup of tea, open to a fresh page, etc.) and I realized that without a similar routine it was hard to get started on the computer. So my settling in to detailed work on the computer routine is make a cup of tea, turn on a concentration Spotify playlist, start my Forest app so I don’t touch my phone, set the Self Control app timer, and open my work document. It gets me in the right frame of mind to concentrate and stops me from doing anything else.

      1. Is this an app that runs on your computer? (sorry for my lack of savvy) I’m not the OP but I have the same problem – mindlessly opening a browser window when I switch between tasks etc. My phone isn’t the problem for me, it’s the computer and mindless browsing (FB, this s i t e, news, horse ads, etc.)

      2. Self Control- been using it since I downloaded it to study for the bar. You can use it as an extension on Chrome or download it as an app on apple.

        I also have it to auto-block starting at 9am so it takes out the decision factor and forces me to be productive.

    3. I hear you. I can crank through physical tasks like nobody’s business. I’m also prone to brain-melt from screens. Which is a real problem, because writing is a big part of my job.

      What helps me is planning my day a bit and setting aside time to do certain tasks. Otherwise, it’s too easy to procrastinate or go down the rabbit hole of websites and other distractions. I also try to close my email completely for an hour each day. Not having notifications pinging me while I’m trying to work helps a lot.

      I’ve recently been reading a lot about time block scheduling. It’s early days, but the concept is working for me so far.

      Also, make sure you’re getting up and moving for a few minutes every hour. I think the stasis of sitting all the time does as much damage as being in front of a screen.

    4. Ask your eye doctor about whether your computer is causing you eye strain (your “brain soup” comment makes me think this). I got a prescription for computer glasses and it has helped. Also, check your lighting and physical set up to make sure that it is optimal for you.

    5. If there are tasks that can be done without the computer, perhaps making the shift will help. For example, I use a paper agenda, I’ll write drafts of articles by hand (I know someone who actually uses a typewriter for the first drafts), if I’m editing I’ll print it out (studies show more errors are caught on paper than the screen) and such.

      I also use the pomodoro method during which time I absolutely cannot stray from the task at hand.

      Perhaps the light from the screen is an issue as well. You can get a prescription from your optician or sometimes a thing to put in front of the screen or yellow glasses.

      I also think some thinking about your procrastination could be useful. Once the root is identified you can then address it.

    6. My job involves being at the computer almost exclusively (research and writing–I am an appellate attorney.) But if I am having a hard time focusing I will sit down away from the computer with a pad of paper and a pencil and will hand write my thoughts or I will get the actual books (or print outs from westlaw) and will read that way. I also sort of bribe myself and make myself write up two issues or whatever and then I can take a break and scroll online.

  4. Any tales of writing a letter to submit with an offer to buy a house? What worked, what didn’t?

    This isn’t a case of a competitive market, but rather the opposite, where we’re trying to get unrealistic sellers to agree to our low-ish offer. (The house has had a 2 offers in the 2 years it’s been on the market, but they were “ridiculous, for half price” according to their agent. Well, the house is a disaster and has to be gutted, so we’re hoping if we sound like a nice family and not developers, they’ll sell to us.)

    1. What works and what doesn’t is entirely seller-dependent. If I were selling a home, a letter would not matter to me. On the other hand, a letter made the difference for a family member purchasing a home. You’re trying to connect with someone you don’t know whose motivations are closely held, so just “be you” in the letter and hope it works? Best of luck.

    2. This worked on my parents as sellers. They were selling the house where my brothers and I grew up, and a young family wrote a letter about how they knew their offer was low but they really wanted to raise their children in a home that they could tell had seen a lot of love. It helped my parents let go of the house, too, so it was a win-win.

      1. This. Do not tell them you want to gut the house. Tell them the house is amazing and you look forward to raising your family there but with a young family, this is the best offer you can afford and you hope it’s enough.

        1. This seems morally questionable…maybe it’s not legally unethical to tell them you plan to raise your family there when you plan to gut it, but it doesn’t sit right with me. Find a different house or convince the sellers to sell it to you knowing what you want to do with it. I don’t like lying to get a deal done.

          1. But they are planning to raise their family there. It’s going to be the same location in mostly the same looking on the outside, why does it matter that the bathroom is configured in a different way or you knocked down a wall? No one is obligated to live with the same décor as the previous owner. I’d only say it was disingenuous if you planned on knocking the structure down to create a mini-mansion nuisance or were use it for retail space.

          2. Not lying: “We love the thought of raising our family here and the light coming through the trees this time of year is spectacular. I can see the love you put into your garden and the neighborhood is so warm and embracing of newcomers with small kids. We look forward to walking them to Peachdale Elementary when they are older.”

            Vs this: “We love the location of the lot and will love the house once we rip out the carpet that smells like dog and the rag painting that is a before picture if ever there were one.”

            You can be sincere but maybe not with full-on candor that would insult the seller.

          3. I was under the impression that she was tearing down the house and building new on the lot. I agree it’s not disingenuous to say you love the house, even if you plan to renovate a bit on the inside.

          4. +1000 to the two above. If you can find out through the realtors that the sellers have made any concessions or acknowledgements to any work that needs to be done (an HVAC update, or new siding/roof, or anything really), I’d mention it gently as a part of an affordability statement, talking about caring for the home properly and planning to raise your family there for many years.

          5. I mean, I love my house, in that it houses my family and is close to work and in a good school district and I can walk to the movies and shops and restaurants from it. I love the yard. I love the lot. I would be happy if a tree fell on the actual house.

          6. Agreed with the anons. It’s not much different than the decor and people understand that – point out the details you love and will keep (window seat, original doorbell, crown molding, proximity to school/park, old trees that line the street, etc.) or what you picture you/your family doing (maybe you plan to put a swing set in back or plant your favorite flowers in the front). I think people like the sentimentality of being able to drive by the old house and it still being there and are more upset when it’s completely torn down.

            To add context: we wrote a letter to get our house talking about all that stuff mentioned above and asked our agent if it was a good idea. We didn’t even get the chance to send the letter before they accepted our offer (among multiple offers, on day 5 of listing, and our offer was a little below list) because our agent really sold them on us — not only that our financials were in place for a quick close but she said what sealed the deal was when she told them that I had “always dreamed of a house with window seats and she is writing you a letter to tell you how much they love it and how much they love this neighborhood.” We got the house and we *do* love, love, love the house even though the paint colors are not our taste and we plan to switch out nearly every light fixture and window dressing.

            On the flip side, when we were selling our condo, we got multiple bids that were all competitive and ultimately while it was a business decision there was maybe .5% of me that liked that it was going to an older man who was moving to be closer to his adult children after his wife had died. (I lived with my grandparents, too, as a child and it was nice to know the story behind it.)

    3. Interesting approach.
      Sounds as if there is a disconnect between what the seller believes their home is worth and the true market price given all the updates required.
      It all depends upon how motivated the sellers really are – in this case it sounds like not much.
      Their real estate agent should be guiding them in pricing expectations and since the house has sat for 2 years it leads me to believe the agent knows they are not motivated and so isn’t having the needed conversation.
      My recommendation is to have the agents work through this – sending a letter may not move them, given they have unrealistic expectations to begin with.

      1. Yes, we have been trying to buy this gorgeous vacation place forever and ran into the same problem – the place is beautiful but not that large and it is wayyyy overpriced and has been in the market for 3 (!) years. We made a lowball offer, then upped it slightly, but the owner really believes it will eventually go for her ridiculously high price, and we don’t want to spend that kind of money for a place that would inevitably resell at a loss. It’s still for sale and her agent was so visibly frustrated when she turned down our offer – we were offering market value and he knew it. Sometimes people are deeply set in their unrealistic expectations and they just won’t budge.

    4. Lie your face off in the letter, talk about how much you love the house. Then buy it and gut it.

      1. +1

        This is what’s going to work. And I don’t think it’s unethical. When you sell a house you don’t get to have control over it anymore. That’s the seller’s own weird hangup to deal with.

    5. It’s standard in the Bay Area, if you can’t make an all-cash offer. That said, it sounds like these sellers just don’t want to sell at a realistic price and I’m not sure that a letter would help. A letter is usually to give you a slight edge over other, slightly more attractive officers. It’s not to convince nutty sellers to drop their ask by half.

      1. As a seller in the Bay Area (San Jose), the letters were sweet but just made me feel guilty for not having an extra house to sell. I didn’t get any all cash offers but anyone with less than a 20% down payment and/or an inspection clause was not serious. I had a seller inspection done before listing with an offer deadline before which I was open to buyers getting their own inspection; the house was vacant so buyer agents had 24/7 access. I ultimately went with the cleanest (only a financing contingency but 30% down) any highest offer. I didn’t engage in a bidding war, just highest and best. My agent knew this because I didn’t enjoy the bidding war when I bought the place and was against doing that to someone else.

        1. Can I ask a naive question? (I live in San Jose and am hoping to buy soon. However, I am first-gen and my parents could never afford to buy a home, so I don’t know all the ins/outs.) How does a buyer putting down less than 20% affect the seller? Thanks!

          1. It makes it more likely that the buyer will close on the purchase on time. Financing is less likely to hold up the sale.

    6. We wrote a letter and got the house in a multi-bid situation in a competitive market. We also had an escalation clause always making our bid 5K above the other one up to a certain point, and we hadn’t reached that point. Our realtor told us to cancel the clause, increase our offer by several thousand over the current bid, and we would secure the house, so we did because we were tired of being out bid, and it worked.

      Did we get the house because of the letter or because our offer was the highest, well over the other bidders? Hard to know, we heard other offers came in while they were signing the paperwork with us, but they signed anyway. We have no way of knowing how high those were. We also heard their realtor pressured them to take our deal, perhaps because she met us and liked us. But her demeanor is all business, so that is kind of hard to believe as well.

      Personally I would never let a letter get in the way unless the offers were about the same, then why not choose the one with the nice family?

      1. Because of unconscious bias. People tend to view people most like them as nicest. These letters help pretty presentable white families. They are a tool of racism, unconsciously.

        1. I mean…I think that’s going a little far. It definitely creates a bias against single, DINKS, and same-sex couples, but I fail to understand how a letter is a tool of racism, unless you state your race in the letter which is weird. I’ve never been in a buy-sale situation where I ever came face to face with the sellers or even knew what they looked like until after contracts were signed, everything is done via intermediary – I can only see this being a tool of racism if you’re easily googled and the sellers are in fact racist, which you can’t help.

          2. You didn’t google your buyers?

            That was the first thing I’ve done for every house — google the other party, what they paid for the house, what the recorded mortgage is (like if they are underwater on the house and maybe really can’t budge on price or they HAVE to sell to buy a new house). I try to find out if they are moving locally (this is a great house? why would the cute family in the pictures be wanting to sell it? is something wrong? “no, they are buying a bigger fancier house two neighborhoods over”).

          3. If you’re googlable and the seller has bias against you you can’t help that, they’ll know your name whether you write a letter or not.

            Anon @10:46 if you’re saying the Seller will pick up on race based on the way the buyer writes (especially since buyers in the same home price range will often have similar economic situations) then you’re the racist one here (lol thinking that you think someone would write in ebonics or Spanglish). Go away.

        2. Not always.

          Where I am, a neighborhood of 1%ers, everyone is already rich (by standards of our city, but there is a big difference b/w a top 10% earner and a 1%er with family $ to fling around) and white. So how do you stand out? With a letter.

        3. +1. These letters were expected in my area, but I felt so uncomfortable writing them. Our agent said that they were basically just to demonstrate that we weren’t developers looking to tear down or flip a house and that most sellers didn’t read them, but I felt like it was a Fair Housing Act violation waiting to happen.

        4. What. Mixed race family here and this is super odd. Unless you include a picture? But even then the issue is with the seller not the buyer.

          Writing a letter is the only way to win a multiple bid situation in my rapidly growing HCOL Southern city. Particularly as people buy large lots to split into several lots and tear down the existing homes (and build tall-skinnies instead).

          Letters work on sellers who value sentimentality and who want to make sure their homes are going to continue to be loved. While unconscious bias is very real and it affects people of color in all ways, this has nothing to do with the letters.

          1. +1

            That nice Italian grandma who is selling her house to move into a retirement villa may have black or brown or other grandchildren (if not children or children-in-law). This is 2018.

          2. Agreed on this in SEUS hot-market city.

            Usually, it’s people competing against the developers / people paying cash. So it’s not like you’re the poor white person trying to sell a lower / lesser offer against POC. You are competing against people with better offers and the only point you can really make is that “we won’t tear down your house b/c we luuuuuuv it” or something more persuasive than $. But usually $ is the most persuasive thing.

        5. I hate to say it, but I think anon at 10:16 is right, uncomfortable as it is. The white family will have an edge if there’s a letter with photos. that makes me sad.

    7. I wrote a letter to buy my house. I’m a single woman in my 30s. The seller was a single elderly lady who needed to move into a retirement home. She was on the fence about letting go of her house as quickly as I made the offer (5 days after it hit the market). She told me at closing that my letter had given her some comfort and she was happy that “someone like me” (whatever that means) was getting her house. I also specifically mentioned one nice feature of the house, which as it turns out is one of her favorites too.

  5. I just got Invisalign and I’m looking for any tips about cleaning the trays. I’m following my dentist’s instructions, but I am now in week 2 and they just don’t seem to be getting completely clean. Thanks!

    1. The biggest thing is to make sure you don’t use hot water! I thought they meant like, don’t boil them, but I used hot water and they warped. So use warm water only!

      Also, I use these ‘retainer brite’ tablets that I got on Amazon and think they really help get a nice clean feeling.

      1. +1 retainer brite from Amazon. Brushing does not seem to cut it with those aligner trays. In the meantime, you can brush them with mouthwash instead of toothpaste, which seems to be slightly more effective.

    2. When I was going through the same thing last year, someone on here recommended an ultrasonic denture cleaner. I bought one from the-place-everyone-orders-stuff for maybe $35? And it works really well. I still rinse them out, but the little machine works better to get them sparkling and odor free.

    3. Ultrasonic denture cleaner + retainer brite tablets. Trust me, other cleansing tablets do not work as well. I had invisalign for about a year and I just took my trays out to eat, drank all beverages through a straw, and cleaned my trays am and pm in my ultrosonic cleaner using retainer brite. No brushing in the bathroom between meals or any of that nonsense.

    4. Retainer Brite didn’t quite cut it for me, left a white film on my braces. I like using just a generic denture cleaner (the dissolving drops) and let it soak in there. Much cheaper too.

  6. My organization is extremely concerned with digital security on our IT network, and I’m getting frustrated with how it impedes my work. Asides from the time-consuming restrictions on my workflow, it is becoming difficult to plan multi-year projects, because they value an up-to-date system more than a stable one.

    I don’t know anyone else who works in this kind of system (besides my coworkers, obvs). Do any ‘rettes? How do you deal with it?

      1. Irritating but workable problems: a download that would run overnight most places will take me at least 100 hrs of active work here.
        Bigger problems: The twice-weekly Microsoft security patches have crashed software, from my specialized research software (may never be fixed, not a priority because I’m the only user) to powerpoint (the week before my biggest presentation of the year).

          1. If by “IT issue” you mean problems with the inability of software giants to keep ahead of hackers, and the inability of niche software to keep compatible with ever-shifting operating systems, then yes.

            If you are blaming the IT department, they are fighting a medusa of user issues created by a trying to follow a very clear leadership directive. And I do support that. We house huge amounts of information that form the basis of very, very, contentious long-term political lawsuits.

            I’m posting here because I thought other people might have worked on similarly secure systems, and have some constructive ideas about how to work within a system. Believe me, it isn’t the techs’ fault.

          2. I actually do work on secure systems, to me it just seems that your IT department has issues. MS security patches are not random, unpredictable things, they’re tested by the issuer and they should be tested by your org as well with plans to roll back if there are issues. Unpredictable behavior happens but it is not the norm. If your version of PowerPoint has stopped working and can’t be fixed, that is a your org issue rather than a Microsoft issue.

            If there are genuine issues with compatibility of a patch they should be able to take that into account and implement some type of exception/waiver. So if you need insecure software, maybe they can help you deploy it on an isolated system, for example. Or maybe they allow it while they wait a month for the vendor to update their software to be compatible. There are ways to balance secures and usability.

        2. I know this may not be popular and depends on your company policies, but can you assess what should and shouldn’t be on the system in some way? For example, the PowerPoint contained no sensitive info presumably because it was being shown in public. I do about 95 percent of my work on a secured server. But whenever I present, I always keep a copy on my google drive in case the network is down. I know the info there doesn’t contain any PII.

          I would mention the length of time updates are taking to IT. That seems excessive and perhaps they can double check that it is set up properly or at least give you ability to anticipate when it will occur or ideally there’s a way to do a nightly sync when you’re shutting your computer down…or???.

          I’d ask with the research software what they would recommend or if any sort of accommodation can be made. Perhaps a computer with nothing else of your system on it but that software or….? That sounds just horribly awful and frustrating.

          1. Those are interesting points. The whole process is very predictable, and I have relatively open communication, if not productive communication, so I can definitely emphasize how much I appreciate those when I’m dealing with IT.

    2. They should value an up-to-date system over a stable one! The vast, vast majority of breaches happen because KNOWN vulnerabilities were not patched/updated. It’s crazy. It sounds like your company has the right priorities. Security and ease of use are always tradeoffs and a tricky balance. Could you or another stakeholder talk to the IT team about workflow?

      1. Well, my concerns isn’t ease of use–I’m much more concerned about being told that the system can’t support my research–especially several years into a grant cycle. I don’t really mind doing something the cumbersome way, as long as the org knows exactly why it costs so much time.

        Could you say a little more about what kind of conversation with IT might be productive? There are on-going conversations, but IT is also so defensive about the need for security, and the fact that the directive comes from highest leadership, that trying to address the pragmatic downstream effects hasn’t gotten anywhere.

        1. Ah, that is definitely a problem then. It’s hard to give you specific advice without knowing what your issues are and what security tools they’re using, but in your position I’d probably start by making a list of functions/programs that you absolutely need to do your work and what you’re running into from a security standpoint. Then try to set a meeting with them to learn more about what they’re doing and why, and collaborate on solutions. There are pretty much infinite ways a security team can set up programs, policies and restrictions, and they’re used to people complaining and stubbornly not ‘getting it’. Even just a little bit of interest and research ahead of time will serve you well and probably lower their defenses. Even if your problem isn’t solved right away, you’ll at least have a better understanding of what the problem actually IS, which will allow you to make a case for yourself with leadership.

          Is this somewhat helpful?

          1. Hmm…that sounds similar to what my direct supervisor is trying to do, but she’s only willing to got to bat for limited amount of resources, and my project never seems to make the cut. (Even though it brings in a disproportionate amount of the funding…grrr).

            So maybe my issue is with my supervisor, despite my general respect and fondness for her. Discussions on this forum are often so clarifying…

        2. So if I read you right, you are trying to extract bulk data from a system for research purposes, and security policies have been put into place that limit the amount of data that can be extracted at once so you are going in and downloading a few records at a time? And you are trying to do research using administrative data collected by your own organization for business purposes?

          It doesn’t sound like IT is the problem here–they are just executing on the directive. It sounds like the leadership issuing the directive to limit data access is the problem. You have IRB approval for this research, right? If so, that might help persuade the leadership to allow the access you need.

          1. Also, what research software are you using? Open-source or not? Does your license include tech support? I’d try troubleshooting the software conflict with the MS patches yourself, with the help of the software vendor and/or the interwebs. Having been on both sides of the equation (IT and then research), I can tell you that your IT staff knows absolutely nothing about your statistical package or other research software.

          2. I’m using some open-source, and one large-name specialty suite that just transitioned its whole platform, with some associate growing pains. Most large universities and gov science entities are using the same software.
            And yes, I do run my own tech support on everything I can. For the open source stuff, I communicate directly with the people who wrote the programs, usually. But it’s tough when something just stops working, and nothing seems to have changed.

    3. Does the software system that you use for your research need to be connected to the internet? If not, could you propose that you use a secondary computer for just that program that is never connected. That would allow you to do your research on it without having to worry about consistently having new security patches downloaded.

      1. That’s definitely something we’ve been considering to resolve some of the problems. I would be up against other policies about back-ups and siloing data, but I think I might be able to better leverage personal trust for a case-by-case exception.

  7. Looking to follow a fashion blog(s) where the blogger shares my body type – busty, narrow shoulders, thick thighs and a bit of a tummy. The blogs I currently follow features lovely women and great outfits, but their outfits fit their body type, so it’s not as much inspiration for me as it is body envy. Any suggestions?

    3. I know what you mean. It seems like the two options for style blogs are stick thin or plus-size, with not a lot of body type diversity in between.

      That said, I’ve found some decent ones on Instagram. @the12ishstyle, @wardrobeoxygen @the_pastry_shoppe_and_more and @msheartcookie are good. And there are good hashtags to scroll through – #realfashionforrealpeople and #supersizethelook to get inspiration or find people who have a similar body type.

    4. there’s one in Austin — “writes like a girl” I think? although her style is kinda cutesy. I love thetwelvishstyle, but she might be more plus sized than you’re looking for. maybe check out her follows? ooh, also maybe hitha on the go.

  8. From the post yesterday about vacation in Montreal, it seems like we have a couple of people here familiar with the city. What would your recommendations be for a place to live? We are thinking of moving there in the next decade or so, so we have plenty of time to explore neighborhoods. We are basically looking for big, new-build condo buildings with gyms/underground parking/doormen. Easy access to grocery stores and restaurants would be a plus. No kids, so space/schools is not a issue. We’ve been looking at the area just east of Old Montreal and maybe Griffintown?

    1. Why new build? Half the charm of Montreal is the beautiful heritage buildings. Plus you’re getting much better quality with 100 year old hardwood than brand new laminate. You sound like you’re moving from NYC and are imparting American expectations on a Canadian city.

      1. “gyms/underground parking/doormen” plus easy access to grocery stores- to me this makes it pretty clear why they are looking at new builds – hard to find all those amenities in heritage buildings.

        No specific advice on neighbourhoods though as I’ve only visited as a tourist.

      2. Pretty much what the first reply said…we want all the amenities in easy reach. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the heritage buildings, and my favorite area I’ve visited so far is the Plateau, but with the super cold winters and preparing for getting older, I want the easy access. I also don’t want to deal with a lot of maintenance.
        That being said, it could be new gut-renovation of an old factory/hotel/etc. building, so not a total new build. There seem to be a few of those near the river.

    2. Griffintown is in the midst of a construction boom so tons of new builds, often with gyms/pools/doormen. The quality is highly variable so make sure to visit the places. It used to be kind of an industrial wasteland but there are more and more shops/ restaurants, and it’s becoming quite nice. The area east of Old Montreal walks a fine line between trendy and seedy, so be cautious about location.
      My favorite areas would be Saint-Henri or the Plateau/Little Italy. There are some new builds in those areas but they tend to be lower-rise and may not have all the amenities you want. There are also some nice new builds in downtown proper if that’s your thing (and budget).
      I would look into transportation/being close to work – a someone who currently has a long driving commute in Montreal, it is basically hell due to endless construction and I miss my 20 minutes in the metro to go to my old job.

      1. +1 to being on the metro. Montreal basically has an relatively large underground city. It’s so nice in the freezing winter to be able to access the metro and shops without leaving your building.

    3. So with the caveat that my housing preferences are the opposite of yours (heritage building! Old radiators! No exposed concrete!) I think you’ll have an extremely easy time buying a new condo – there are SO many new developments going on right now. Assuming you have the budget of two professional DINKs, you’ll easily find what you want close to grocery stores and restaurants. Part of the charm of Montreal is that most neighbourhoods have their own personality, with at least a few blocks of restaurants/bars/shops. I personally like Little Burgugndy/Atwater Market area lot more than Griffintown, as I find it has a bit more enduring charm versus mostly new on-trend cocktail bars that I see in Griffintown. There are many condos built along the Canal that I think look really lovely, and give you reasonably nice views plus a good bike path. With that said, I know some people who absolutely want a 10 minute walking commute to work, and if that’s you, you may prioritize a different neighbourhood. All that said, housing prices may change dramatically in the next 10 years as foreign investment in real estate is expected to increase, so take all of this with a giant grain of salt!

      1. I don’t think so… maybe too early to actually spend money, but it never hurts to make a plan in advance, especially for retirement/getting older. Don’t most people at least have an idea of where they’d want to be in 10 years? Ten years goes by faster than you’d think!

    5. Thanks for the recs! They’ve given me some good options to go explore while we visit over the next few years. We’ve been a few times, but mostly stayed around the Downtown area or up to the Plateau.

  9. I love animal print. Hopeful that the stupid ruffles-added-to-everything trend will finally die.

  10. I have a purple Lo & Sons O.M.G bag that I would like to sell. It has rarely been used. I am selling because I need the slightly larger O.G. I am asking $100 or best offer. Where is the best place to sell this? If anyone here is interested, please let me know.

    1. I would sell it on ebay or Poshmark. Poshmark has similar bags being sold for about $125-$150, so you can probably sell it easily.

    2. I’d be interested – do you have a burner email that you can share for me to contact you?

  11. I am looking for a replacement for a quilted puffer jacket that I got from J Crew Factory a few years ago. Looking for something to wear with casual clothes on weekends. What I liked about this jacket though was that it was practical enough to wear for something outside but also dressy enough that I could wear it out to dinner or a bar. What is the current equivalent of this?

      1. That’s beautiful! I have the Patagonia Quilted Los Gatos Jacket that I got a couple years ago and I’m very pleased with it.

  12. I’m looking for a website that seems like it should exist, but I can’t seem to find it. I know there are plenty of flight trackers like Hopper to let you know when a preset flight (locations and dates) are at a price where you should buy, but does this exist if you know some parts about your flight (like preferred airports or times) but are indifferent on others (dates)?

    I live at hub, my family lives at at hub, tickets can be, but are not always quite cheap and the distance is such that it could be a weekend trip. I’m indifferent on when I travel, but I would just like to see my folks more, particularly as they are getting older. Other then setting up trackers on Hopper/Google Flights for every conceivable weekend, are there ways to monitor for when the prices are good?

    2. All of the search engines do this, you just need to click on the option that lets you see the whole month.

    3. Suggestion is also to use the main airline or decide on your favorite airline, so that you can accumulate points/miles and get cheaper/free flights. Have you signed up for emails or the apps to watch for deals?

    5. Travelocity will let you put in a price and send you an alert whenever the fare goes below that price. It’s not perfect (sometimes the fare is for a date next week, sometimes 6 months out) but it’s a decent barometer of price moves overall.

  13. Posted this too late yesterday

    Does anyone know of a tailor that does women’s custom suits in Bangkok? DH and I will be visiting next month and i’m looking to get a couple for each of us.

    Any recommendations on things to do, places to eat etc also welcomed

  14. Are there any brands or style bloggers that take inspiration from an Edwardian aesthetic, without being costume-y? Anyone else here love those silhouettes and detailing and try to incorporate them into your day-to-day?

    1. There is no way to where Edwardian era style without looking like you’re in a costume, unless you’re going to a formal event. From my general knowledge and a little research, it looks like it’s just a lot of lace with ankle length a line dresses. That’s….not going to look modern at all. Just embrace it and be the person that “dresses old” like the vintage fanatics. But you’ll look weird trying to modernize it, that silhouette just isn’t really done outside of formal events.

      1. I actually think current trends (high neck blouses, long tiered skirts, lace up ankle boots) actually incorporate many elements of Edwardian fashion. I have a friend who started an Anne of Green Gables Pinterest board and there is a surprising amount of, say, Madewell and Anthropologie on there. I think the key is to balance the more vintage elements with more modern elements so it doesn’t look too costumey.

    3. What part of the aesthetic appeals to you? If it’s the silhouette, that’s going to be tough as the other poster mentioned. Other common Edwardian design elements (I’m thinking lace trim, over-dresses right off the top of my head) could be incorporated into outfits that aren’t quite as formal but would still read ultra-feminine. That’s a look that would be costumey on me no matter what, but if your general look is already very, very feminine, you might be able to make it work, but the trick is going to be working in one aspect of the era, not going full out Rose-on-the-Titanic.

      1. Nipped waist, feminine details like pintucks and gathers (especially when it adds a little bit of volume to the sleeves/chest), tailoring and structure, art nouveau prettiness in patterns and jewelry, soft and voluminous hair, etc.

    6. I’ve been looking for the exact same thing! Thanks for asking this question :)

  15. In an ideal world, I’d only wear Athleta (if only I could afford that…) Does anyone know how their clothing fits curvier sizes? I’m an athletic 2/4/6 depending on the store but have a booty and some solid thighs and was wondering how their actual pants (as opposed to leggings) fit for curvier women.

    1. I’m a pear (formerly athletic, now squishier).

      I love their pants / skorts / shorts but feel like I have to try on. I have found some gems and some that were a hot mess (none from the current season). The comments on the reviews are usually helpful on this.

      I find that I need pants that fit my hips and have been OK with elastic in the waist to help cinch them in there. Sometimes the whole waist area and fabric has some give. Have been meaning to try their jeans.

    2. Also athletic 2/4/6 with a booty and big quads. Athleta pants fit me well usually. I’m very straight waisted and sometimes find the high-waisted styles don’t fit my shape well, but that’s true of basically every brand (sigh). For me the fit issue with them is usually only at the waist, not the butt or thighs.

  16. What are your favorite strength training programs? I lifted for the first time in a looong time last night and I forgot how much I love lifting. I’m a long-since retired college athlete so I’m not used to coming up with workouts on my own. Would prefer things I can do alone that don’t require spotters, etc.

    1. I liked Strong Curves. It focuses more on the lower body and relies on a lot of compound movements. While having a partner as an extra set of hands would have been helpful for some of the lifts to get into position faster (think barbell hip thrusts), you can safely do the moves on your own if you are smart about the weight. You may want to add some single area accessory work for upper body, depending on what your goals are. (The book gives some suggestions for that).

    2. Look at the FAQs page on r/fitness! They’ve got recommendations for quite a few programs there.

    3. I like PWR. You can also use the app which I really like when I’m at the gym.

    4. I like strong lifts 5×5 when I’m starting out, easy to use in the gym and keeps track for you

  17. I’m dealing with my first insurance situation where I’m trying to get coverage for an expensive medical procedure. My insurance plan does technically cover it, but it’s a “medical necessity” situation. I’ve been told previously that my situation would count, but my HMO doctor has been resistant to giving me a referral (which is needed to even begin the process). Does anyone have advice or experiences to share that might give me hope? I know insurance companies have an interest in NOT covering expensive procedures, so I’m hoping they’re just giving me the runaround.

  18. Any cool ideas for a gift for a female friend making partner besides a bottle of champagne? Ideally something I can find today. :)

    1. Don’t they get to re-do their offices? Get her something for her office! A frame or something like that?

    2. Get her flowers to display in her associate office! That’s what I get for all of my friends who made partners / what I hope someone will get me!!

  19. How often does your credit/debit card number get stolen? I just had to call the bank to cancel my card for the fourth time in 3 years. The bank doesn’t bat an eye, just refunds the fraudulent charges and sends me a new card, but I feel like this happens to me a lot. I do use my card for everything. I stick to well-known vendors online, like Amazon or Nordstrom, but around town I’ll use it at food trucks or gas stations or grocery stores.

    1. Other than when I dropped the physical cards out of my wallet, none of mine have ever been stolen. I have multiple credit cards and debit cards. I do a lot of online shopping but exclusively use credit. I only use debit at the ATM. I assume I have been very, very lucky.

      1. This has been our experience as well. I also limit my use of my debit to my bank’s ATMs or rarely, my grocery store for cash back.

        1. +1

          I have two bank of america CCs, one Chase Visa, and a Costco Visa and I have never had to get a new card for fraud in the last 10 years.

          my spouse on the other hand, like the OP has to get a new card at least once a year.

    2. I think gas stations are the worst offender, actually. I’ve noticed mine getting stolen more in recent years.

      1. Every time mine or DH’s has been stolen, it’s been skimmed at a gas station. We signed up for Samsung Pay, and specifically only go to gas stations that will accept it. Hopefully this will work better for the time being.

    3. Gas station skimmers are a huge problem in my area. Best way to avoid is to go inside and pay.

    4. Living in San Diego and travelling often, almost never (literally 1 time in the past 5 years) so I would take a look at where you are using it (and stick to your credit card rather than debit card for food trucks and gas stations – especially gas stations). I would also suggest taking a hard look at your internet security. Even a reputable online vendor won’t help you if your network is compromised.

    5. Mine got stolen last week. I’m trying to now only use it in stores and such, but it’s hard.

    6. Where are the fraudulent charges occurring? If it’s geographically close to you, it’s likely to be getting physically skimmed at a vendor, if it’s across the country, it’s more likely that your info is being skimmed online and sold on the dark web.

      There are two ways of using a stolen card number – by encoding it onto a physical card, or using the number online to make a purchase. Both may or may not necessitate using a fake ID or having more of your identifying information than just the card number.

      If this is a repeated problem, you could start filing police reports every time this happens (in my state, the county where the victim lives AND where the card # was used has jurisdiction). This may lead to the person using the card, who may or may not be the person skimming/buying/creating these things.

      The reason this kind of crime is so incredibly prevalent is that that 1. many of the users of the forged cards/stolen numbers bought them from someone they are afraid of and will not talk about that even if arrested and 2. most of the time they don’t get caught because no police report is filed. Increasing credit card security is a huge factor in solving this problem, but so is catching the perpetrators. While the banks refund the charges to you, they have to eat the cost or take it from the vendor who accepted the card, and all of those costs get passed back onto consumers eventually.

      And that concludes my soapbox speech.

      1. One time the number was used after I paid for lunch (at Outback, I think) and a TSA Pre-Check. I would be surprised that someone would be bold enough to steal my number while I was paying for a federal background check, but the TSA office took the card to another room to swipe it, while the Outback bartender did it in front of me. Another time I’m pretty sure it was a food truck, but my family visited multiple that day, so I can’t say which one. No clue when the other two offenses happened.

        All of the fraudulent charges are across the country, none are local to my city. Of course the criminal could be local, as I buy stuff online from all over the country, too. I’ve only filed a police report once, when the bank requested I do so. The card was used to purchase plane tickets, one-way from Costa Rica to the US. It was a large dollar amount, and suggested that there might be other crimes occurring.

    7. There was a period where I had about 6 issues in the span of less than a year and was constantly ordering new cards, changing card #s, etc. It was a mess. Outside of that, I think I have had one other issue in 15+ years.

    8. I’ve been hacked at least once a year for the last 5 years, personally. I also manage my company’s Corporate Card account, which is compromised at least 5 times a year! The biggest culprits are gas stations , NYC MetroCard stations and iTunes. This is just the world we live in. My advice is to use cash or a credit card at all times. It’s too risky out there for a debit card these days.

      1. How do you know where the card number is being stolen? It’s easy to tell where the first fraudulent usage is, of course, but I’ve never been able to determine how the card number was stolen.

        1. On the corporate card, it was easy to tell because several card holders were hacked in 1 month. They all had transactions from the same MetroCard station within the same week.

          Personally, last time it happened, I was trying to buy something on itunes. It wouldn’t take my password, so I reset it, and completed the transaction. (I was on a spending freeze so I wasn’t using my card for anything else). The next week, fraud.

    9. I’ve had my card stolen twice in the last 10 years (I mean the number was stolen. I’ve never lost or had my physical card stolen). One time I have no idea what the cause was, but another time my card was skimmed at a McDonalds in my area – someone was arrested shortly after my card was stolen and charged with skimming hundreds of cards.

    10. At least once a year for me. I’ve been part of the IRS hack, though, so all my info is all over the place. (At least five others, too.) They could have cross-referenced the CC from other data.

  20. If there are tasks that can be done without the computer, perhaps making the shift will help. For example, I use a paper agenda, I’ll write drafts of articles by hand (I know someone who actually uses a typewriter for the first drafts), if I’m editing I’ll print it out (studies show more errors are caught on paper than the screen) and such.

    I also use the pomodoro method during which time I absolutely cannot stray from the task at hand.

    Perhaps the light from the screen is an issue as well. You can get a prescription from your optician or sometimes a thing to put in front of the screen or yellow glasses.

    I also think some thinking about your procrastination could be useful. Once the root is identified you can then address it.

  21. I’m meeting a friend this weekend, she’s visiting my city. Good friend in college, good person, we not actually that far from each other but … life. She’s married, multiple kids, I’m single no kids. Whenever we meet she tries to convince me to find someone, asks about kids etc. We’re late 30s. I’m so tired of this line and I’m looking for some tips or ways to deal with her, shut down these topics in a light, friendly way. Thanks!!

    1. whut? You are too nice for her! Who does this to their single friends??!! Try something like “I’m not with anyone and no kids but I’m loving – new interest/old hobby/new movie you saw /whatever”. She brings it up again be more direct ‘I’m not interested in talking about my dating life or childbearing status. Let’s talk about other things like xyz.”

      I can’t understand people like this. The best part of single no kids friends is that they don’t make you feel guilty if you want to talk about everything except your kids. I need to be me with friends – not me as wife or me as mom. With mom friends I always feel like there’s pressure to catch up about our kids.

      Signed, mom of three under 7 who dearly loves kid-free chats with single friends.

      1. Actually, a lot of people do this to their single friends.

        I wish I had more married, parent friends like you!

    2. Sorry but it’s just a stock thing, like asking when newlyweds are going to have kids. Fluff vs getting real.

      FWIW, if your 40s you will have more in common — eyes fading, feet being tired, health of you / parents to chat about. Age is, oddly, the great equalizer.

    3. Can you start influencing the conversation via text this week? Is there a show/book/movie/podcast you can mention that she could potentially watch/read/listen to this week or while in transit? Maybe share some blog posts/news articles/something else that will drive some conversation later in the week? If you both like to cook, want to experiment with a capsule wardrobe or something else, if you start the conversation now, maybe it’ll help carry it through the weekend. Easy topics to change the conversation when she inquires about your relationship status.

    4. Sometimes, light and friendly isn’t the right way to go about it.

      Just tell people you’re in your late 30s, unmarried, and childless. Therefore, any question about marriage or kids must be answered in a way that is some combination of not entirely honest, not socially acceptable, or hurtful to you.

      I am about your age and about to get married, and I want to clobber the people who found the love of their life early on, got a family going, and never really struggled in that area. They all think that we need just a little push!! to get our lives “on track.”

      Honestly, I now just shut it down. “Why are we having this conversation?” “Do you think I wouldn’t have wanted to meet Fred 15 years ago?” “You know that if I am too old to have kids, this only adds to my pain, and if I’m not, these comments don’t make me any happier, right?”

    5. “How ‘bout them Yankees?” For serious, I am married with 3 kids. When I meet my single and/or coupled but childless friends, the LAST thing I would ever ask is their marriage & procreation plans. We discuss my kids to the extent they politely ask, but mainly I jealously soak in their single/childless lives :-).

  22. Has anyone in law here made the move from lawyer to legal operations? I am a senior level attorney, and a lot of what I do is project management and process-oriented. I thought legal operations would be a natural fit. Our general counsel recently approached me about a promotion to a senior transactional legal role. When I mentioned my interest in legal operations he said he always thought that legal operations was more junior level, equivalent to me asking to be a paralegal or something like that. Thoughts?

    1. IME, Legal Ops is often handled by non-lawyers. Most legal ops people are experienced–they either banged around a good law firm or in-house for a long time, so they get how things should run, how billing works, which software to purchase, how to hire the right folks for the right roles, etc. I would not think that this would be a good move to move to a non-attorney role, unless you were handling legal ops in addition to an attorney role.

      This really depends on the company and the size of the law department though. There definitely are “managing counsel” who have very operational/managerial roles but still practice a bit, but I would still differentiate this from legal ops, which is much more “how should the law department run” rather than how do a I quarterback projects and processes _around deals_ as I work on the deal. That’s the distinction to me.

      I’ve worked on the transaction side in biglaw and in-house.

      The ACC has some good resources on LegalOps that are free–take a look there and see if say, selecting contract management software sounds like fun to you…or not.

Comments are closed.