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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Long-Sleeved Striped Midi Shirtdress

A woman with long black hair wearing a striped shirtdress and white high-heel sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I can’t get enough of shirtdresses for summer. This striped dress from Court & Rowe looks crisp but feminine. I particularly like the fact that it has an elastic back to add some shape with or without a belt.

I would add some bright jewelry or a fun shoe to add some color, but the white-and-black look is still classic on its own.

The dress is $129 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 0–14.

For a plus-size option, Ashley Stewart has this short-sleeved striped shirtdress on clearance for only $15.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.5

274 Comments

  1. Please help me avoid a shopping rabbit hole. We’re leaving the country in two weeks to visit relatives we haven’t seen in 3 years to the pandemic. They have a bunch of stuff to give us and I need a duffel to pack on the way there in my suitcase and then use filled on eve way home – so any packable duffel recommends? Doesn’t need to be checked!

    1. The sporting goods store that starts with a name for a male appendage. I have one and used it for my US to UK smuggling of Primary clothing and TJ’s snacks.

      1. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out what this was referring to…for some reason I could only think of REI hahahaha

      1. I bought a packable tote bag from amazon during a trip to the uk and I would suggest making sure the straps are long enough to carry the bag over your shoulder if you think you might want to do that… the one I bought is pretty inconvenient. This one linked by the poster above looks a lot better. Just something to keep in mind.

      1. I have an older Muji bag (that they no longer sell) that looks just like this one and it’s perfect for pretty much everything, including what you need, OP. I use it for all trips under a week long.

    6. I know its a love-it-or-hate-it brand, but I love my large Vera Bradley duffle for this. It’s sturdy, very lightweight and folds flat, so easy to stuff into your suitcase while empty. In fact I used it for exactly the same purpose on a trip a week ago! I also just generally think it’s a great bag for travel, especially when wheeled suitcases arent going to work well.

    7. Ikea’s blue bags, with zipper. They can be hard to find but they’re cheap and very collapsible. When we moved our kid to college last year, all the smartest families had packed their kids’ stuff in them.

    9. I am cheap and lazy and use reusable shopping bags for things like this. I have a few that zip, if that’s a requirement.

    10. I have one from Eagle Creek that packs into a sleeve. It is very Saturday so could be used as an overnight bag, sports bag, or checked luggage in the future (I have done so). I also have a Tumi tote that packs into nothing but is quite stuff at for an extra bag, has a strap to slide it into a rollerboard, and fits a ton. I never travel without the Tumi.

    11. Could you ship a low-cost one to them and then fill it on the way back? Since you’re buying a new one anyway?

  2. an offer

    it’s been over a week since I have read regularly, feels longer. love to those who had a tough father’s day.

    I’ve seen posts about weight gain and struggle and clothes for awhile,I hope the following will help those struggling.

    for Reasons, I’m cleaning out many many items from.workwear closet mostly in the 16 and XL sizes but some smaller including L and M. lots of pants!

    I’ve posted the name brand and NWT on poshmark. if you are struggling with finances and need new work clothes please leave a note that just says rette in the listing you like. I’ll help you.

    my posh account is gss5.

      1. thanks for the note.

        I have gained a great deal for the posts here, official and readers. this is a small way to give back.

  3. Low stakes question – help me find a serving tray! I want something pretty but functional. Goal would be able to be able to bring snacks/drinks for the couch/coffee table for happy hour.

    1. I have the several years ago version of this: https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/sicily-melamine-serving-tray/?catalogId=79&sku=8578321&cm_ven=PLA&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Tabletop%20%26%20Bar%20%3E%20Serving%20Trays%2C%20Platters%20%26%20Baskets&region_id=477610&cm_ite=8578321_14571686598&gclid=CjwKCAjw-8qVBhANEiwAfjXLrp-HwulYbkCcl1GfmuvRsQw72UFDLzRvHdklhyddhJQAVnjc-Ftc9hoCjrAQAvD_BwE so a different pattern, it’s held up well, I use it indoors and out. Light weight and dishwater proof.

      1. +1 to TJ Maxx/Home Goods – perfect for this sort of thing.

        I have a large square mother of pearl serving tray that I got at an antique store for around $20 – it looks good propped up in the corner of my kitchen. I didn’t realize what a deal this was until just now when I was searching for something similar. It’s not this, but this is the closest thing I can find – who pays $2000 for a tray?!?!?
        https://www.1stdibs.com/furniture/dining-entertaining/more-dining-entertaining/xl-moorish-abalone-shell-black-resin-tray/id-f_25755252/?utm_content=condensed&allowUniversalLink=no&gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=CjwKCAjw-8qVBhANEiwAfjXLrub0K63ySng5IMfXKuCD5NVYoV-xqlvOmv27zrUCIn215pZYt-biuRoCaK4QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

        1. Sometimes if I’m grumpy, I’ll just go wander Home Goods and then go read my book in a cafe. I don’t even need to buy much/anything, but the idea that I could find something random cheers me up.

          3. “I wasn’t born to work. I was born to browse Home Goods at 10 am on a Thursday.”

          5. Yes pugsnbourbon! Browsing at 10am on Thursdays is a completely different experience than weekend shopping.

    3. Search lucite trays on Etsy – tons of them, many you can customize, solids, stripes, etc.

      1. Or society 6. Just be sure to check the sizes. I got a small lucite one that I use all the time, and a huge wooden one that is awkward to get through our doors.

    4. I think Zara Home, Crate & Barrel, CB2, and Anthropologie all have good and easy access options. My favorite tray is from the company Hay. It’s a light metal material in a blue and white marble finish.

      If you want something local/unique, Fish’s Eddy in NYC delivers nationwide

    5. This might be a good Goodwill or thrift store purchase – they often have inexpensive glass/plastic ware, and can be easily sanitized.

  4. Anyone get married and NOT register? We’re in our late 30s and have all the stuff we need, and more. I could think of like 3 things that would be “nice to have” but that’s about it. I would honestly be very happy to not get any gifts (or cash) but I recognize that most people will want to give us something and I want to be considerate of that.

    1. I’ll say my dad got remarried, both were in their 50s at the time, both very wealthy with absolutely nothing they needed, and specifically asked for no gifts, but people still insisted on giving gifts. I think they suggested 2-3 of their favorite charities for donations in lieu of gifts but they still ended up with unsolicited crystal bowls, etc. In your position, I’d just do a small registry of nice-to-haves or is there anything in your home you’re ok with but would like an upgrade on?

    2. Definitely you don’t have to! I would skip a shower, those are for boxed gifts, and just tell people who ask “we have everything we need and are just so excited to be getting married.” Most people will give cash, some will give weird wooden bowls, some will give nothing.

    3. We had a tiny registry that we didn’t tell anyone about that was exclusively for the people of a certain generation (my parents’ friends) who badgered my parents because they wanted to gift a “thing”. To get to it you has to get through the invite that said no gifts, us saying no gifts, my father saying “just give them cash” and then finally my mother would send the link. It was utterly ridiculous, but it worked. And we got some upgraded pots / glassware / sheets, so that was nice even if it’s not entirely needed. People our age seemed to understand thst we all already had a mortgage and cutlery and didn’t need more.

      The one thing I did learn with that wedding though is that apparently some people want to gift “things” and that is very important to them, which I don’t get. If you don’t give them space for that, they will just pick something for you and then you’re left with whatever odd assortment of things other people pick. I now just give cash.

    4. We eloped 25 years ago and so did not register. It just felt really inappropriate given nobody was invited to the wedding. People still gave us gifts though, and it was a lot of stuff we didn’t want or need (we were super young and just starting out l, so definitely we needed stuff… just not necessarily the stuff we got). If registering for traditional gifts isn’t your thing, maybe look for other ways to point people in a direction? If you’re happy not to get gifts at all, maybe there is a charity you can ‘register’ for?

    5. People gonna gift. You’ll end up with a bunch of stuff you can’t return easily if you don’t register for anything at all.

      -Skip any and all showers
      -Think about more unusual stuff than the typical registry. Do you need new beach chairs? Hobby stuff? Holiday items – think Simon Pearce’s beautiful glass trees?
      -Upgrades to existing items? Add holiday plates to your china or dinnerware?
      -Activities? I don’t know how this actually works but many couples in their late 30’s use registry widgets that let people purchase “Phillies tickets” or “dinner at X restaurant.” Maybe the couple just gets the cash to use as they please – idk how the behind the scenes actually works there.

        1. Yes, they are just cash registries, and some take out a fee. At least with just cash the couple gets the full amount!

          1. thanks for confirming my instinct!

            FWIW, I don’t think giving cash is “crass” but I do think it can be awkward when you’re talking about your peer group. I am perfectly content writing a $200 check for my younger cousin, but giving a similarly-positioned friend money feels ridiculous, so I’m always happy when a “settled” couple finds some creative physical items to ask for.

          2. BUT then you won’t lose the largest check you received. Ask me how I know. Cash registries are GREAT.

      2. We actually registered for gift cards to favorite places/bowling/movies/etc., which was a great option instead of cash registries!

        1. This is very clever. I’ve gravitated towards giving restaurant gift cards for weddings, but love the idea of the couple curating a list of their favorite places / activities!

    6. My cousin got married last year (late 20s/early 30s) and only requested donations to the local Humane Society and Planned Parenthood, which for my family was a pretty bold choice. They got a few gifts but most people donated.

    7. On our wedding info website, we suggested donations to two charities that are meaningful to us in lieu of gifts. Preceding it with “no gifts needed, but if you would like to…” language of some kind. About half of people chose to donate; we still received some checks.

    8. I eloped and didn’t register but still got tons of gifts. That said, almost everyone gave us champagne, restaurant gift cards, and some other thoughtful consumables. There wasn’t a single thing we got that I didn’t like or use. That said, I think this approach doesn’t work if you’re actually having a wedding. As a guest, I want to get you something you’ll like and cash just feels crass.

        2. What? This is cultural and regional. I got a few cash gifts but mostly stuff. The cash gifts were from very close family members. We didn’t register so some of the gifts were random, but that was fine.

          A lot of people can’t afford to give a lot of cash but are adept at finding a gift that seems much more expensive than it was. A lot of people live in communities where it’s unusual to give cash. Your perspective is not the only one. You should get over yourself.

          1. But a lot of people are in communities where giving cash is perfectly normal, plus it’s the most practical option. I mean ultimately don’t give cash if you are uncomfortable, but don’t tell people who have no issue with it to get over themselves. And maybe try not judging other people’s wedding for a cultural hangup on your part.

          2. I was responding specifically to the previous commenter’s comment that said, “Get over yourself.” If the previous poster had said, “It’s fine to give cash!” That’s one thing, but acting like people who don’t want to give cash need to “get over themselves” is rude because that’s just not the case everywhere.

            I don’t care if people give cash or not. I was just presenting an example of a situation where people don’t give it.

        3. Holy F the vitriolic responses here! Perhaps you need to just add on “to me” so it’s not something I’m going to give. You do you.

      2. cash isn’t crass.
        Also, we had an actual wedding, and it worked. While we did get things we didn’t need, there was nothing we got that we didn’t like or use.

      3. No, it’s not. I am from the Northeast and cash is what everyone gives. I got cash from every guest at my wedding except one.

        1. I did not grow up in the northeast but come from northeast stock – very wealthy stock but not my generation – and receiving cash from peers is the tackiest thing I can think of. I would be very uncomfortable/nauseous, desperately want to give it back, and probably hide it in a drawer like I never got it and probably only pull it out if I went out with the gifter and treat us all to a meal with it I’d prefer a gift card to Target. Hell, to Red Lobster or Olive Garden. Cash from.older family or “like family” is the only exception.

          2. We got cash from a college friend who grew up in Lebanon. We’re WASP-y American types but it was so touching because he was like, “I can’t buy you mixing bowls, my mother would never forgive me.” And it came in handy because we didn’t manage to go to the ATM before we left for our honeymoon!

        2. I am a southerner with a midwestern extended family married to someone from the NYC metro area. ALL of our NJ/NY guests gave generous cash gifts; ALL of our southern/midwestern guests gave us modest physical gifts. All gifts, cash or physical, were appreciated, but it underscored the cultural / geographic divide on this issue.

          2. Yeah. I remember sitting in my office in SEUS years ago and overhearing my assistant from NJ calling the mother of the bride to ask how much “the plate” was before she left for a NJ wedding. I was appalled.

        3. Me too. NJ. 100% of wedding gifts at my 200 guest wedding were money. Not crass at all. Why all the pearl clutching?

          1. Because cash gifts are like wearing shoes inside. There isn’t a “right” answer. It’s cultural.

            For my (southern) family, cash is incredibly tacky. I don’t impose those values on others and would appreciate the same courtesy.

      4. I don’t hate that some people give cash gifts but I do hate that couples specifically ask for cash. I am super not comfortable with that. West coaster here.

        3. Agreed. My best friend is from a culture where the norm is to give cash, but I was still fairly appalled when she wrote “no boxed gifts” on her wedding invitations. I was happy to give her cash because I knew that’s what she wanted, but something about actually making that request in writing on the invite felt very tacky to me. Midwesterner with lots of (Jewish) New York family for cultural context.

    9. got married 18 years ago and didn’t have a gift registry. (i’m guessing that is what you mean by ‘register’) it wasn’t something we felt comfortable with, for a variety of reasons. we gave general ideas to anyone who specifically asked, and left it at that. most people gave us money, and while we did get a few things we didn’t need, we liked that people took the time to look around and pick something they thought we would like instead of just checking a box on a list.

        1. no idea. things change, I got married 18 years ago, who knows what new things are around involving registering, lol.

    10. I’ve been invited to several weddings over the last few years where guests were told, either on the invitations or wedding website, that their presence was the gift, and if they wanted to do something more, the couple would be honored by donations to X and Y. I was not offended by this, and it didn’t occur to me that anyone would be. I was happy to make a donation.

    11. Agree with a lot of the comments saying you will get gifts either way – when my husband and I got married we were both really averse to a registry (I am a person who gets oddly stressed out by receiving gifts), but because we knew people would want to buy us stuff we ultimately ended up making one with only things we would replace. So when someone bought us something we tossed/donated the old version and our net amount of incoming stuff was almost zero. So even though you have all the stuff you need, maybe take a look around and see whether or not you have some towels that could stand to be replaced, pots and pans (or cookie sheets!) that have seen better days, etc.

    12. Yep. I got married in 2013 and had no registry. On the invitation it said “the couple requests no gifts.” We received a handful of small things anyway, but that’s it. It can be done!

    13. I would not be comfortable with a registry or any suggestion of wanting houseware type gifts when I’m established already.

      I got married as a 22 year old from the country and had no registry, which was very common in my community at that time. People would ask “your colors” and then mostly base gifts off of that. Sure I got some weird stuff, but I appreciated the thought anyway.

      Now that I’m 40 (divorced) and make a good living and buy myself whatever I want and need, I don’t think I’d choose to do a registry again. I would say no gifts please on the invitation and suggest some non-controversial charities. If people insists on finding a gift for me despite those requests, then finding an appropriate one is their issue. I find most people in my circles give something like champagne in this situation. If I get a crystal bowl that’s not to my taste, I’ll regift it or donate it or something else. Not everything has to be optimized.

    14. Question – when people say you give cash, do you mean dollar bills? Gift cards? A check?

      1. I usually give a check made out to Person One First Last and/or Person Two First Last or actual dollar bills or cash in the currency of their honeymoon destination.

        1. It’s much easier for the recipient to cash the check if you make it out to “or” rather than “and.”

        2. I am very against cash but cash in the currency of the honeymoon destination is actually thoughtful and I would react differently to it . . . because it means someone personalized the gift instead of it being purely transactional. I would use it to upgrade a meal or take an extra excursion or buy a souvenir rather than paying my gas bill the following month.

      2. Giving cash means dollar bills or a check. Not gift cards; that would be considered a gift.

    16. We did not register. We asked for no gifts or a donation to our favorite charity. Almost everyone donated to the charity but we did get a couple of incredible personal and amazing gifts that were not things that would appear on any registry.

    17. i did register and i dont think there is anything wrong with not registering, but you might end up with a lot of random stuff you dont want and feel strange giving away – like the tray with the wording from your invitation, or personalized glasses or other random nonsense that you have no use for and no one else will either. I think Zola or one of those sites, when someone buys you the gift, you can choose when to have it sent to you. I’m not entirely sure what happens if you choose never – like if you can get the $, but you might look into that. Or register somewhere you buy stuff otherwise and return it all and get a big store credit. same thing if you ever have kids, bc while yes it is very nice everyone is so thoughtful, no my kids do not each need 5 personalized towels, and 3 personalized benches, and 4 personalized blankets, etc. (and that was with a registry). so i’d at least list some charities people can donate to

    18. When I got married a friend who’d recently married said “if you don’t register, people will give you a lot of [stuff] you really don’t want.” So we registered at Amazon, mostly for wine. (We had a huge wedding and we ended up with quite a few nice gifts, which we are still enjoying almost six years later.)

    19. We didn’t but we also had a very small, close family wedding, and everyone just gave us cash/gift cards, basically. If we’d had a larger group probably would have put “no gifts, please” on the invite, but since everyone was very close,, everyone was going to be giving anyway.

    20. My husband and I are each other’s second spouses. 22+ years ago we had a tiny wedding (30ish people) and said “no gifts, please” right on the invitation (which I know is not Done but we Did it). We had just combined households and had gotten rid of so much stuff, we couldn’t imagine asking for more stuff.

      We did receive some gifts from people who just couldn’t help themselves. The only gift I can think of that’s still in use was from someone who didn’t even attend our wedding – my sister’s mother in law – and it’s a silver bell that we now use as a dinner bell to call everyone to dinner. I recall we received some wine glasses, which are long since broken and discarded. Anyone who asked what we would like first got a “no gifts please” and then if they insisted, we asked them to make a donation to our local Children’s hospital. I think many people did that, and we received thank you cards from the hospital for months, which was really nice.

      If you don’t want gifts, let people know! But have a plan for those who insist.

      1. I love the idea of a beautiful silver bell calling everyone to dinner.

        I remember my summers fondly where we would play outside all day with dozens of kids living on the block, and around 5pm, each family’s mother/father/etc… would come out on the porch and start yelling…. “Charlie!! Time for dinner”. Ah, the dinner yells….. good times.

        1. I polished the bell a couple of years ago and my kids were astonished. They had always thought it was a gray bell. Hahaha

          I hope they someday have fond memories of being called to dinner, as you do. Thank you for sharing that. It put a smile on my face!

    21. We said no gifts, and mostly didn’t get gifts. A few siblings joined together to pay for part of our honeymoon, planned out with us ahead of time. An artist friend gave a piece of her art. A few people gave bottles of wine or nice liquor. Some gave cash. Most people didn’t give anything or just brought a card. One of my mom’s friends gave us a quilt.

  5. Does anyone have the Beis mini weekender? Thinking of getting it as a work bag: on any given day I’m commuting with a combination of work stuff (laptop has to come back and forth most days, grad school readings, my lunch, and workout clothes

    1. I do and you do not want that – it weighs 10,000 pounds on its own. If it weren’t so heavy, I’d haul it to the post and send it to you.

    3. I love mine for actual weekend getaways or to keep under the seat in front of me on a plane but not for everyday use.

  6. I grew up poor and didn’t get much financial advice from my parents. I’ve got a steady paycheck now and set up a with a 401K and put back money from each paycheck into savings. I benefits through my company, but just recently got an offer for term life insurance through my credit union. The monthly rate varies based on the amount of coverage ($25K up to $100K). I’m married and make more than my husband. In my age range (30-34) the rate for $25K is $10/month. It seems like this would be a good thing to set up, but I’m just not sure if there are any gotchas I should be looking out for.

    1. Are you planning to have kids? Can your husband support himself if something were to happen to you? If you don’t have dependents, I’m not sure why you need term life insurance.

      1. Not planning on having kids. My husband could support himself on his own, but would probably need to sell the house. I don’t think he would be able to afford the mortgage on just his salary.

        1. So given this update, I’d make sure the coverage each of you has, whether through job or otherwise, is enough to mean you wouldn’t have to deal with the logistics of selling a house and moving when you’re already an emotional wreck! Each of us has sufficient coverage that the surviving spouse could pay off the mortgage. (DINKs.)

    2. do you get any life insurance through your employer? Check that. Many offer at least 1 or 2 times your annual salary as a no-cost benefit.

      If you don’t have kids, and your husband could support himself on his own salary, I don’t see the value of getting $25K of insurance unless maybe for funeral costs if you couldn’t pay those with savings?

      1. Thanks for the feedback! I do get life insurance through my employer. I don’t remember the coverage offhand so I’ll see if that is a better option.

      2. Yeah, this particular offer doesn’t seem especially good. My employer offered insurance is a tenth of the cost.
        What would $25k enable your DH to do if you pass? He probably would still have to sell the house.
        It also depends on what emergency savings you have that could keep a grieving spouse afloat. Maybe a small life insurance payment could bridge a gap there and take out some financial stress from those tough months. That might mean you get life insurance for a few years until you build up a decent savings cushion. Although I wonder how long it takes them to pay out and what the bureaucratic hoops are (it’s an insurance after all).

      3. The problem with employer offered life insurance is that it’s generally not portable. It may be at a lower rate now, while your an employee, but if/when you change jobs, it ends. In some cases they will offer to give you your own policy, but they will re-underwrite the coverage at current rates for your age and health condition, and it’s usually not competitive at all.

        Buy whatever term insurance you need now while you’re young and healthy. A 20 year term is what most people get. Over that period you hopefully build up your assets so that by the time your term ends, you no longer really “need” the insurance. Shop around, use a broker. Term insurance is very competitive, so don’t take the first quote.

    3. When we bought a house we got life ins policies that would cover the amount of the mortgage. Especially if your spouse makes less than you. It’s not like it’s a ‘never work again’ amount of money if you die, but it would certainly relieve the burden of having to figure out how to cover the mortgage or sell the house quickly. That said, definitely shop around to make sure you’re getting a competitive price.

    4. We are DINKs with no plans for kids, and both have life insurance. It’s just peace of mind for us (mostly me) – we wouldn’t have to sell the house or make any major life changes if something terrible happens, and will have the space to figure out the next move. Especially once we had a larger mortgage, it was important for us to have it in place. Mine is $100k and his is $1M – he set his up after we had the bigger mortgage and decided he wanted a larger policy. This just reminded me that I need to revisit mine to up the amount so it will cover the mortgage.

      1. I think it’s wise. I try to imagine the most common ways one of us may die young, and to me it would be worth a lot not to have to worry as much about money in a tragedy.

        1. This. The emotional shock of losing a spouse gets a lot of airtime but practically speaking death is a logistically complicated and expensive event, often in ways not entirely foreseeable (out of state death, for example). Money is the difference between the logistics being a hassle and being impossible. Also, on the list the times you want to have the option to make logistics go away with money, major family death is right up there.

      2. This is basically what we did too. Get enough insurance to cover the mortgage so the surviving spouse doesn’t have to worry about finding housing on top of everything else. (Also DINKs)

      3. Yep – this is similar to what we do – also DINKs. We *can* afford the house on one salary, but it’d be tight, and the life insurance would give some breathing room for selling or even taking unpaid time off of work to deal with things for a little while.

    5. We have a lot of life insurance with the idea being we would not want the remaining spouse to have to dramatically change their lifestyle.

  7. Hoping some of you can help me! I’m ashamed to admit that I have gotten really behind on mail. Like, physical mail. I held my mail for a few months last year while I was caring for a sick relative. I came back and the pile was so big that I never really went through it. Now, almost a year later, I’m realizing that I have some medical bills in collection and a couple speeding ticket camera tickets that are super old. I know I’ve paid my taxes and my utility bills, but I honestly am not sure the best way to dig myself out of this hole AND create a system for figuring it out. To make matters worse, I can’t find all the original bills to verify any charges. Is there a way I can figure out if any creditors or collection agencies claim I owe a debt? Also, can I somehow cancel catalog and charity mailings? I’m really drowning in mail and also don’t want this to impact my credit.

    1. Throw all that mail out today. You don’t need it. Just pay the bills that you know about don’t waste more time trying to find an old bill to verify. Give yourself a clean slate.

      I’ve been there. It was rough and just throwing it all out was the best move I could have done. Now my ritual for mail is very aggressive. I pick up my mail on Saturdays and Wednesdays. I immediately sort it- in my coat and shoes by the door. There is a trash can right there were 98% of it goes. If it is a bill I need to pay it goes into my purse, which I am still holding, and I bring it to work and pay it the next day. I opt for paperless every where I can.

      1. This is terrible advice given that the OP has said she knows there are traffic tickets and medical bills in the pile. What on earth?
        Your weekly system seems great. But not reviewing the OP’s pile is a very bad strategy.

      2. Agree with the other response – this is bad advice. The Marie Kondo aesthetic is lovely and all, but not when it actually interferes with life responsibilities. I’ve seen people trying to follow it in my apartment building throw out the deed to their new condo, parole violation notices, and tuition bills for their kids’ schools. And if I only picked up my mail twice a week, the post office would (and did) start leaving notes that it was holding my mail and I could come pick it up at the post office during business hours.

        OP – you can hire a professional organizer to go through the mail with you. They love doing this and will sort it, recycle what isn’t important, and give you a plan for dealing with anything else that slipped through that you haven’t identified yet. I highly recommend this approach!

        1. Ummm Marie Kondo doesn’t advocate just throwing away piles of bills or deeds or anything else like that.

          I do like the professional organizer suggestion, though!

    2. I got behind on mail like this (maybe a year’s worth) and finally caught up this past February. If you’re looking to get back on top of it, here’s the process that worked for me. I collected all the mail from around the house into one huge pile. I did an initial pass of that pile, opened everything, threw away the junk, and sorted the rest into general piles–stuff to shred, stuff to scan/file, stuff to deal with (pay/call).

      Then I dealt with each pile, from easiest to hardest. Shred. File what needs to be saved (not much). Deal with old medical bills and traffic tickets, etc. Make sure you sort the medical bills by provider, date of service, and actual service so you don’t end up paying twice.

      For staying on top of things, I do the weed-out and general sort daily, then to go through the “stuff to deal with” piles once a month.

      You should be able to run a free credit report to see if there’s anything out there affecting your credit. If it hasn’t been reported to the credit agencies, there’s no way to see if someone thinks they owe you money. But you can log into the electronic medical records systems at your healthcare providers and view your account for current charges (it probably won’t reflect anything turned over to collections). And you can call smaller healthcare providers’ offices and ask for a current statement.

      1. I want to add, my whole process in catching up on a year’s worth of mail took about 3.5 hours. Less than half a day. I did actually find some important things. And I had important documents, like birth certificates and titles and insurance policies that I’d pulled out of our file drawer for other reasons, mixed in with my mail piles. So I had to excavate those.

        I needed some emotional support from a non-judgmental friend while I did it. I had some guilt and general dread about the whole process. We poured some wine, and she sat with me and watched Netflix while I sorted mail.

        1. Yes second the support person idea. I got into a similar rut and shame was an obstacle to digging out. Let that go — this happens to a lot of people

        2. I’m glad you posted this. I was going to say that I’d be so ready to help a friend with this kind of project. A few hours of chatting and sorting over a glass of wine? Sign me up!

    3. Traffic tickets – go online. Your state likely has a web portal for this.

      Bills – do you know which utility it is? Call them.

    4. Yes you can unsubscribe from calendar and charity mailings, although it takes some effort to email every sender, but it works eventually.

      1. Not OP but please tell me how to unsubscribe from charity mailings! I donate online and don’t need them sending me mailing labels every month…

        1. There are do not mail lists for catalogs, but the charities and anyone else you do business with usually require individual notifications. Just go to their website and look for the link to unsubscribe or contact them. I ask them to remove me from their mailing list, including my name and address. It only takes a few minutes and works almost all the time, though sometimes you get re-added, especially if you move.

          1. yep, this is what I did; not for me but for the mountains of mail I was receiving for a previous tenant, even though he had the forwarding set up with the post office. I won’t lie, it was some effort. For months, I would send 3-4 emails to various places each week. It would have been easier to throw all that in the recycling. I justified the time investment as environmental action, ie., preventing wasted resources. Some nonprofits might have you on multiple lists (like national and local chapter), so it will take a while, but it can be done!

    5. Amazon Basics 24 page shredder. Best purchase for the mail situation because you can put all the shreddable junk (e.g., credit card offers) in it whole without having to open them. That will get rid of so much of the bulk.

      1. I really wish those credit card offers were illegal to send. They’re definitely the bulk of my mail!

        1. You can definitely unsubscribe from those. I don’t have a link because I haven’t gotten any in years, but just google it.

    6. Pile the catalogs up and spend a morning asking each to be removed from their catalog mailing list. Most have email, which is quick to send, some you may need to call.

    7. I know this isn’t helpful to you, but there’s an anecdote of someone famous who would just take all of his inbox and put it in his outbox and when asked about it said, “You would be surprised how little of it comes back.”

    8. Do you have a large table you can clear off to tackle this? Like a dining room table. Grab the pile, or as much of the pile as you can grab and plop it down. Go through the pieces one by one. Have general piles for bills, documents you need to keep, junk mail, catalogs. Don’t get too specific because you will refine these piles later. I’d probably use a cardboard box on the ground for catalogs and junk mail. Have a letter opener or butter knife nearby so you don’t wear out your thumb opening envelopes when you need to figure out whether something is junk or a bill (junk mail can be so deceptive!)

      Once you have the broad piles, you can further sort them into whatever grouping works for you. Medical bills vs traffic tickets for Instance. This is the point at which you need to open it all, which is a pain but at least there will be the outer envelope and filler stuff you can recycle.

      Important notice about your privacy is something that can immediately be recycled, by the way. Everyone has been sending those lately due to law changes in several states that have to do with data collection.

      Hope this helps. As others have said, set aside a day to do this. Be nice to yourself and treat yourself to the fanciest coffee or whatever appeals to you so you can power through. You will feel so much better once you do, and it’s probably not as bad as you think.

    9. new mail: adopt a one touch policy where you review it, trash or recycle what you can, and put the bills and other things for your attention by your desk.

      old mail: find a system – invite a friend over, do 15 minutes a day, put on a movie to watch with the recycle and trash bins nearby. once you go through you’ll know what you have to tend to, and some of it can probably be done in one fell swoop, like paying the traffic tickets via one website that lists everything due. (hopefully. drives me nuts when our medical bills have to be paid one at a time.)

    10. I have a few years of mail squirreled away. It has become that “thing” as in “do the thing.” I just went through all of 2022’s mail this morning – like someone above said, dumped it all out on the dining table, threw out junk, opened everything else, filed the bills (all paid except one), made a to-do/to-call pile and feel like 1000 pounds is off my shoulder.

  8. I drew the short straw and am an outdoor sleep away camp chaperone. It is hot. Showers and toilets are rustic. There has been girl drama and a first period. What sort of treat do I get myself when I get home? I’m already getting a massage but that is because I’m old and creaky, so what else?

      1. meh, I love time in nature but it is so much more enjoyable without kid drama. don’t force yourself to have a renewed sense of joy of nature when you’re battling pre-teen drama. That’s asking too much.

        1. Most of my friends camp with friends and at least beer. My guess is that OP could use (but can’t have) a cold one at the end of the day.

    2. A trip to Dairy Queen for some ice cream, and a day off to relax in the air conditioning. Thank you for doing this.

    4. A long hot shower for the cheap option, but if you’re getting a massage I might go the whole way and go for a spa day with a hot soaking pool.

    5. Low budget – shower steamers, a nice bath bomb, a nice foot lotion, fresh sheets
      Mid budget – a facial, a mani and/or pedi, “glam” lunch with a friend aka wear a casual dress but not sweats
      High budget – a car detail, a mani and pedi, dinner somewhere fancy that does not serve rustic food or even pretend to be rustic, a night in a hotel, a full spa treatment with your massage

    6. Omg, bless you. Extend the massage to include more treatments. One your way home, pick up a good iced tea drink, flowers and takeout so you don’t have to cook. And internet shop and order a reward for yourself today that ideally will be delivered in the next week.

    7. I always enjoy a cocktail and a horror movie the night I come home. Also I get my car washed at the place where they vacuum the inside and wipe it off at the end.

    8. If you are in So Cal, go to Islands Restaurant and order a frose and some delicious fries to go with it.

    9. Gift yourself $40 to buy whatever book catches your eye at the local book store and take a few hours along, in an air conditioned place to leisurely read, sans kids.

    11. A shower and hair wash followed by a good long soak, a tick check from someone you’re comfortable with, lotion from head to toe when you get out, a face mask, a glass of wine, and trash TV. Everyone leaves you alone for the rest of the day.

  9. I worked a ton during the pandemic. I have now had three weekends in a row where I only worked half days on weekends and I slept in my own bed every night and I feel like a new human. I am rested? I am clean/freshly showered every day? I am mostly drinking water and eating two or more meals a day? This is incredible. For everyone else in a similar boat … know there may be some light ahead for you, too.

    2. Yeah, I’m kind of amazed by this. What line of work has meant that you haven’t frequently slept in your own bed, taken 1/2 day off, showered daily or eaten more than one meal per day for the last 2+ years. I want to know who to thank and what to avoid. I thought even military serving in war zones only kept that kind of routine up for a few weeks/months at a time.

      1. Certain medical professionals and public health employees have been working like this for the past 2 years.

        1. Yup. I just left public health emergency response work because I was living like this for 2 years and it wasn’t sustainable.

    3. Yes, I am totally with you! This time last year I was hitting rock bottom mentally. I had a workweek where I couldn’t find time to shower and was living on Trader Joes baked cheetos and Gatorade. For whatever reason, that was all I could manage to put in my mouth. It was horrible. I was on video calls for work around the clock bc I had an international scope. One super long call I started my period and I couldn’t step away from the camera so I bled all over myself.

      Now I am rested and mostly healthy and I walk outside every day and I shower regularly! I’ve been purging stuff and knocking off my to do list. I just made the decision to hire a property management company to manage a rental I own. Signed papers yesterday.

      What a difference a year makes. There is still of hard stuff, but now I feel equipped to deal.

      1. Wow, I never want to have a job where you can’t just say, I need to step away for 5 minutes. That’s ridiculous.

        Humor me, I really don’t understand – would someone have died if you had stepped away for the 3-5 minutes it would have taken? Would democracies have fallen? Would nuclear bombs have accidentally been launched?

        1. I work for a large corporation with a few super-sized egos. They want you on camera. In 4 years, and 2 during the pandemic, nobody has ever said “I need to step away for 3min.” It is just not done, it would be taken as disrespectful and possibly earn a live critical comment or two. Nobody would complain to my boss per se, but a generalized comment around my taking my job seriously and/or understanding the culture would show in my annual feedback…which would matter.

          1. You can have boundaries. If you choose to be a person who doesn’t that’s on you.

          2. I have worked at my company almost a decade. At my level, the people who have boundaries get managed out. I know this for a fact. This means they have to move to a different state since I live in a “company town.” My parents are old and ill, they need daily support from me. I can’t move to San Fran if I lose my job. So I do what I have to do.

          3. Yeah this work sounds awful and just silly. Unless someone will die, there’s no reason for this

          5. I get it. Same culture at my company and you do get managed out. I slowed at my last job (didn’t know it at the time but was severely anemic due to cancer) and my position was restructured to get me out despite outstanding reviews, no warning and a fresh raise (as in 3 weeks prior). My field (media) is very competitive. It’s just how it is.

      2. I hear you. I was once fighting off that is it or isn’t it UTI feeling and had to stay on a super long call and hold my bladder, and then it became a raging UTI, which I didn’t have time to go to the doctor and get tested/treated. I’m not going to question your workplace culture like other people are (victim blaming much?) because I have worked in such a culture. They are out there.

        I managed to find another job, but I will be honest and say it wasn’t as good of a job, because old job, as abusive as it was, paid well and offered me more upward chances than anything I’ve done since.

        2. Thanks for the validation. Yup, one day I will take a different job – likely at a 50% pay cut. But it will be worth it.

    4. I remember the contrast well.

      Bizarrely, you may go through a period of low mood in the near future – particularly if you had a good relationship with your similarly overworked co-workers. Surviving such periods can be an incredibly bonding experience, and even more bizarrely, can sometimes be missed in retrospect. What you have achieved and sustained for so long is truly amazing.

      So try to get outside in the sun a little day, a little bit of exercise everyday (just walking is fine!), sleep as much as you can and eat decently if you can… as all of these can help stave off the mood drop. And start planning what you want to do with your life that you can now enjoy.

      Well done. Thank you for your service.

  10. has anyone every ordered mixtiles? or framed photos from framebridge or prints from mpix? trying to decide whether to order pics from mpix and frame them myself or if doing something like mixtiles of framebridge is easier. thoughts?

    1. Haven’t heard of mixtiles, but I do Framebridge for bigger items I plan to hang on a wall. For photos, I just buy frames, much cheaper.

    2. I really like Framebridge, but one caveat: unlike a frame you bought yourself, you can’t (easily) switch the photo out for one you bought yourself.

      1. +1. I stopped doing this for this reason. But I love mpix! The print quality is great.

    4. I really love the local frame shop experience — it’s pricey but I enjoy bringing pictures in, looking over options, paying an artisan to frame them, and picking them up. YMMV but if that sounds fun to you I vote for that — I’d hate to lose this as a generally available local option.

      1. well i want all the frames to match, which is why i was thinking of something more consistent

        1. The local frame shop is going to do custom framing, obviously they can make them all match.

      3. I sometimes go local frame shop (which runs roughly $200 per piece, for a price point) and sometimes go with the more-inexpensive Framebridge option depending on the quality of the thing to be framed and whether I want a more detailed look (which Framebridge doesn’t really offer).

        Like, for simple black frames for a set of photos, spending $1000 on 5 pieces seems excessive vs. the Framebridge option. But if you want more unique frames, etc, the local frame shop is worth it.

    5. I’ve ordered from Framebridge. I am quite happy with it, but I think I got it on sale and I wouldn’t pay full price for most of what they offer.

    7. I have 4 mixtiles and I like them! But not anything formal, just some pics of the kids. Once in a while one falls down and one time a corner got banged up, so I wouldn’t use them for something formal.

    8. I love mixtiles! I ordered 12 to make a small gallery wall of travel pictures. I did the frameless ones and I remember thinking the quality wasn’t great when they arrived. However, once I put them up (which was insanely quick and easy) I loved the look. Wait to order them for a sale.

  11. Any recs for a news podcast that focuses on national politics? Not the gossip-y, what T rump was up to this week stuff, but what Congress is working on? I’m looking for something I can listen to while getting ready (no more emails! 😵‍💫).

    1. I listen to NPR’s Up First while I get ready. It’s all news but definitely always has at least one national news story. It’s 13ish minutes which is about exactly how long it takes me from getting out of the shower to out the door so it’s perfect for me

    2. No suggestions but following. I like BBC’s Global New Podcast for a bigger-picture view of the world. Would like a similar US-centric one to add to the mix. I do check NPR and Reuters to skim general headlines without too much drama.

      1. Americast! It’s produced by the BBC but covers US politics. Perhaps has some extra explainers for its global/British audience but I like it the times I’ve listened.

    3. I hope you aren’t implying that the Jan 6 hearings are “gossip-y”. Sheesh. Any national politics media worth its salt is covering those hearings in great detail this month.

      1. I am going to give OP the benefit of the doubt and assume she’s not calling Jan 6 hearings “gossipy.” There is a lot of day to day news about Trump I’d just personally rather not give any oxygen to. Horrible things he says at a rally. People you didn’t know were horrible who come to Mar A Lago for a party. How fat he looks golfing. Etc.

      2. She specifically said what T is up to _this week_. He’s no longer in office, so a lot of that is gossip. Some of what he does (endorsements) might be newsworthy, but even the will he run again-thinkpieces are not much more than idle gossip and not actionable for me. Don’t get me wrong, these pieces do have an effect on me – outrage-serotonin like junk snacks, but food for thought they are not, so best to stay away.

    4. I like The Daily (NYT) and What A Day (Crooked Media/Pod Save America). Also KCRW’s Left, Right, and Center, but that’s more of a once-a-week talking heads show where they are (mostly) civil to each other.

    5. NPR Politics is 15-20 minutes every day on exactly this. It comes out each afternoon (CA time)/evening (East Coast time)

  12. Have any of you gotten a 2nd booster without qualifying for the recommended eligibility criteria (so under 50 with no medical issues)? I feel like everyone I know is getting COVID these days and having to take a week off, and I selfishly don’t want to get sick before the July 4 holiday.

    1. I have. I have asthma, so I don’t really qualify, but I’d rather be safer – and I’m fully back to living my life. I just said I was immunocompromised on the form at CVS, they asked no questions.

    2. I would put your worry on ice because it’s basically too late for you to be protected for July 4th (because of the 14 days ramp up time) even if you got it tomorrow.

      1. Yes. Not doing something because it is not absolutely optimal is always the best option.

        1. Right? It’s not like the booster offers some sort of shelf immunity where it’s zero through day 13 and then 100% on day 14.

          Get the booster if you can, whenever you can get it. Some immunity is better than none.

        2. I’m Anon11:45 and of course she should/could get a 2nd booster whenever she can! I would too. But her post is about not being at any risk over July 4, and the math for that particular goal doesn’t work.

    3. I’m under 50 but with medical issues so I qualify and got my second booster a while ago. There are no supply issues at this point so my guess is a doctor will give it to you no problem if you ask.

    4. I did. Just scheduled thru CVS website and clicked the box about being immune compromised (I’m medically obese so maybe that counts) and no questions asked.

      1. +1 did this.

        Was traveling out of country and I’m tired of waiting when we have so many boosties but no one using them and our Govt has given up encouraging people to get them….

        Click through the CVS menu, simply said I was immunocompromised and went the same day. Don’t ask don’t tell.

    5. getting a booster tomorrow won’t help you with the 4th bc there is ramp time before it’s fully effective – but yes, and tbh they’ve all gotten Covid in the last 2 months anyway. Mild Covid, though, as in only a day or two of feeling foggy and then able to WFH like normal; if that’s thanks to the most-recent “juice” then no regrets for getting #4.

    6. Having a sedentary lifestyle/not getting regular exercise technically qualifies you for a 2nd booster dose according to the official criteria. Do you qualify under that?

    7. I did. I just lied and said I qualified. They don’t check. I did it for similar reasons – had a trip I didn’t want to miss and didn’t catch it to get some more natural immunity. I’d do it in your shoes. Sure is it not 100% there by the 4th, no, but it’s close.

    8. My insurance provider sent a newsletter last week ‘Checklist to prepare for summer travel’ and getting a booster was on the list, without prerequisites.

    9. I got it but my doctor endorsed it so I don’t feel like it was cheating. I have an autoimmune disease but am not immunocompromised.

    10. I wish I had. I got COVID a month ago instead and am still recovering, fearful of my whole summer being impacted.

      My plan now is to say whatever it takes to get my second booster, probably this september? Maybe august.
      Once again our public health system is an abject failure.

    11. The criteria are confusing. If you have any conditions, it’s worth asking your doc if you qualify.

  13. Y’all, what is it about turning 40 where you now seemingly injure yourself while sleeping?? What the heck! I object!

    I’ve developed tendonitis along the outside of my right foot from…walking too much? (What? How is that a thing?) Anyways, it’s throbbing and killing me, and the only thing I’ve found online is RICE. Is there anything else I can do? I kinda need my foot…

    1. Or late 30’s, for that matter. I did something to my neck while sleeping where it hurt to the point of distraction for 2 days. Come on, body.

      1. Early 30s for me and the neck injuries from sleeping. A body pillow was a great investment for me.

    2. I am almost 50 and none of this has happened to me. Also, lifting weights cured all my foot issues (I am not talking about bunions/corns/hammer toes – I didn’t have those).

      2. That’s kind of a weird response. If you were in person and a friend said ow I hurt my foot, would you say “I’ve had no such problems because I work out.” I mean, congratulations?

        1. The reference to lifting weights was advice, not an explanation for why I’ve never been injured in bed. I was quite shocked that one of the results of lifting was to swimmingly resolve life-long foot issues for which I was told the single solution is serious surgery.

          2. Yoga did this for me, back when I could do yoga. I’ll be there again someday. But definitely wake up sore and lumpy.

      3. I hope you are kinder in real life. Guess what? Sometimes bad things happen to “good” people.

      4. Agreed, you’re lucky and don’t realize it.
        I’ve done everything “right” and yet . . . I’m a 2 time cancer survivor and I have crap bones (as in fractured my pelvis running, and then two years later a bone in my foot just broke while running).

        I swear after the second cancer dx, I decided if I get a third, I’m collecting all the damn ribbons and putting them across the back of my car, right next to my 13.1 sticker.

    3. Some of us have been like this our entire lives, despite regular exercise, healthy diet, and everything else you can do to improve your health. Along the lines of the post below, don’t take good health for granted!

    4. Is your mattress too soft? You can get “stuck” and pull a muscle trying to get unstuck. Not sure how else you are injuring yourself.

    5. Mid-60s and after reading all these posts, I feel better about my sleep-induced injuries.

    6. Ibuprofen can help with tendonitis, if that’s a drug you can use. It might not work if you’re straining the area, though. I’ve taken an ibuprofen “cure” for shoulder tendonitis, but it’s very hard on the stomach.

      Have you been walking with new sneakers on a hard surface? If the pronation or walk you get work against your natural gait, that could be it.

  14. I just found out today that another coworker at my former company died, having not lived to enjoy the retirement she worked her entire adult life for. To the poster last week who was wondering about retiring at 60 with substantial assets, take this as a sign.
    While I know quite a few people who are enjoying long, healthy, adventurous retirements, I have been to way too many funerals for those who didn’t, and I’m not even that old. There will be many more. If you have the ability to retire youngish and healthy, GO!

    1. This is an area where I really struggle. I’m focused on saving for retirement and being financially set especially with inflation being so high and the likelihood of a recession. On the other hand, my bf is way more of a YOLO type and wants to travel and have fun. I find these two mentalities so difficult to balance!

      1. I am a diligent saver – no high paying job, family or partner to fall back on. I don’t envision a retirement of travel and expensive adventure, but the very second I’m able to, I will retire. I look at it as buying back my time so I can do the things I want to do, when I want to do them – volunteer, get up and work out when I feel like it, community theatre, head to the library because I’m not at work when they’re open. I will probably be busier than when I work, but I’ll be doing what I want to do.

      2. One thing cancer changed for me is that I am more willing to tolerate a small chance of penury in retirement. It’s equal to the chance I won’t live to get there! So maybe something to think about?

    2. I’m not sure this is right for everyone. I think if your work really feeds your soul–not your ego, but your sense of life purpose and values–then being without it is really hard. My mom is technically retiring this month, in decent health at age 68, and she’s really struggling with it. I think she’ll be back to work, and quite a lot, on the sooner side, and I don’t judge because I can imagine feeling the same way at her age. We both work in health care as providers and are absolutely there for the patients and not management.

      2. I think I would feel this way, too. I get a lot of emotional and intellectual fulfillment out of work and some of the times I’ve been unhappiest have been when I have been super bored at my job. I’m only 34 so honestly I half think the world will end before I reach retirement age, but I don’t think I’m going to be one of the people counting down the number of work weeks until I can retire.

        1. I have a vague plan to work at the library when I’m retired. No, I don’t expect it to be easy all the time. Feel free to join me! I’ll be the old lady with tattoos making faces at all the kids.

          1. My husband and I are reconceiving our retirement to be less about just not working at all, and more about shifting to working in jobs that won’t be particularly lucrative, but will keep us busy and give us a small amount of income to supplement our retirement savings. I want to work in a plant nursery and sell the jewelry that I make at farmer’s markets, and he wants to fix people’s bicycles and maybe do coding or IT consultation on contract for nonprofits that can’t pay much for that kind of help. Right now, we couldn’t do those jobs and make enough to live the lifestyle we want and put our kid through college. But once our kid is out of college, and we downsize to a smaller house and a different lifestyle, we could totally do those things, make enough to pay some bills, and not have to rely entirely on retirement savings or do what we’ve seen our parents and other older relatives do in retirement, which is get really, really bored and start obsessing about their health. My husband’s uncle retired from his banking job, got bored, and went and got a job at a locally-owned neighborhood hardware store/plant nursery/landscaping supply. He works about 15-20 hours a week and always has great stories to tell and is happy as a clam. My parents, on the other hand, are making a career out of going to the doctor about every little minor symptom and then getting on the phone and complaining to me about how the third dermatologist they talked to still doesn’t think that mole on their arm is a problem, and what’s wrong with the medical establishment today, etc. No thanks. If I’m physically capable of doing something to stay busy, I’m going to stay busy; if that supplements my retirement income a little – all the better.

          2. I always thought I’d get a job as a barista when I retired. I like talking to people. I like coffee and know quite a bit about it. And the major coffee chains offer benefits to even part time workers. (If we can thank sBux for anything, it’s that). But then the pandemic and now RA which means I can’t stand on my feet for that long. Don’t count on anything!

          3. I think an important part about retirement to consider if not being able to physically or mentally work in the way we do now. As stated above, working as a barista is great until you physically can’t be on your feet all day or there’s a round of lay offs.

          4. I’ve been in the outdoor industry for over a decade, and have never seen a professional bicycle mechanic over the age of 65. It requires a lot of fine handwork, good eyesight, standing all day, and rigorous testing (hard riding) of bicycles. I think it’s a great hobby idea, but maybe worth reconsidering as a source of (even a small amount of) regular income. Most people with that job are in their 20s/early 30s, and move on to something more sustainable for the long-term.

      3. Yes, if you are in good health and get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction in your job, many want to continue working in retirement. And that’s great for them, if that is what they want. It will actually probably extend your life, by keeping you active (mentally and physically) with purpose. It may cause tension in your marriage though if the spouse wants to retire. I have seen this multiple times.

        Yet, many people are not fortunate enough to have jobs they love and have worked hard their whole life, hoping to finally rest some day.

        My mother was one of those people who saved everything, lived frugally, and died just at retirement. Cancer, or other serious disabling diseases or injuries, can hit any one of us at any time and change your life…. or end it.

        Honestly, I am as cautious as they come about saving for retirement, but I have learned the hard way that you can’t wait too late. Live for today, within reason. Most of us here are reasonable.

        2. Right, and I was saying “live for today” *for me* would mean continuing to work, probably. I wasn’t trying to say everybody should do that.

    3. I’ve been thinking along these lines too. I had a coworker who was 47 die from a random stroke recently. Yesterday I saw their job posting on our company job search board. Logical, but surreal. As they say “carpe diem”.

      1. They really will post your job before your obituary. Keeps things in perspective

  15. Recommendations for something between a bikini top and a tankini? I am 42 and ready to show some midriff for some reason but I know I won’t feel comfortable in a straight up bikini top. Is there something out there with a bit more coverage and security for chasing after kids?

    1. High waisted bikini bottoms are pretty popular right now and cover quite a bit of skin. If you pick top that is more full coverage (e.g., scoop neck vs. triangle tope), you don’t end up showing THAT much skin.

      2. That’s such a cute suit!
        OP search for “long line” suit tops. Might help you get the results you’re looking for.

      3. Athleta and places like Title Nine also seem to have a lot of crop tops that are shorter than tankinis. Look for stores that cater to active water sports types and they should have a fair number of options.

    3. Posted a link in mod, but check out Athleta or similar brands! They have some really cute options that are a bit higher coverage.

    4. This is admittedly a straight-up bikini top, but the twist front bikini top from Land’s End is amazing. I wear it with high-waisted bottoms and don’t feel too exposed. I’m 41, 36I bra, size 14 with three young children and it holds me in place amazingly better than any other two piece I own, including tankinis.

    5. You can search for crop top bikini or sports bikini, and get stuff like this:

      https://www.bravissimo.com/products/motion-crop-top-sw757/#cobalt-sw757clt

      https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-plus-size-chlorine-resistant-adjustable-cap-sleeve-bikini-top-swimsuit/id_352999?attributes=8063,43325,44256

      https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-chlorine-resistant-scoopneck-x-back-sports-bra-bikini-top-swimsuit/id_354256?attributes=9410,43307,43325,43393,44093,44256,44405

      https://www.landsend.com/products/womens-chlorine-resistant-adjustable-cap-sleeve-bikini-top-swimsuit/id_353000?attributes=43307,43325,43393,44093,44256,44405,49849

  16. you guys. I’m just so exhausted. Life feels like a constant assault on me right now and it’s just relentless.

    1. Hugs! I’m really sorry and have been there. I often feel like my decision making is depleted at that time. If so, some instructions from an internet stranger.

      Find your preferred nature sound music. Go somewhere where you can do 2 min of jumping jacks followed by 3 min of alternating downward dogs and planks. Then lay on your back and listen to the sounds for 10 min. Try and meditate. If that’s not in the cards, zone out. If that’s not in the cards, make mental lists of people you love/places you love/foods you love (etc, just positive things.

      Then text something nice to a friend or two who needs it. (Being nice to you give us you an emotional boost).

      Take out for dinner!

    4. Just take it one step at a time. Make a to do list and cross off things you’ve already done today. That always gives me a sense of accomplishment. Hugs!

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