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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
One thing about me is that I’m never going to say no to a kelly green blazer. Another thing about me is that if it’s tweed and/or has gold buttons, I’m going to smash the “add to cart” button so fast that my keyboard may never recover. This cropped jacket from J.Crew is the stuff of my dreams.
Personally, I have a hard time making a cropped blazer work with pants, so I’d probably wear this one with a high-waisted skirt or a sheath dress.
The blazer is $298 at J.Crew and comes in sizes 00–24.
On the more affordable side are this blazer from & Other Stories ($149, lucky sizes) and this Karen Millen blazer ($68 on sale, lucky sizes).
P.S. Happy Valentine's Day!
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Anon
I have been eyeing this in its many iterations for a while. If you have one, do you love it? Where I stumble: what do I wear under it? I default to a white tee, which is so C+/B- of a look. This jacket deserves better. Do you wear over a sleeveless dress? Also, help me understand pants. Something about the rise of the pants shown looks off but I can’t figure out what is better.
Cat
I agree with Elizabeth’s take – works great over a sheath dress (navy or gray would be easy pairing). But it’s so cropped that the proportions are awkward with most average-rise work pants unless you have a super short torso.
Anon
It may work for me — I have a really short torso, so this likely would hit the top of my pants. My guess is that the bolero effect is from this being a tall model vs a person who needs to be in the petites section. But proportion is everything.
Cat
The body length is only 19″ – which on me would hit high on my waist. I need 24″ or so to overlap an average pant waistband; for example the popular Going Out Bl-zer is 24.5″ and is perfect for me with pants. I do go shorter when it’s something to wear with dresses. YMMV – measure a jacket you have and see how it compares!
Vicky Austin
There is a “long” version of this jacket in the similar items if you scroll down! ($100 more, of course.)
Anon
OMG — the long version is lovely!
A
I’d wear it over a black or navy sleeveless sheath.
A
I should add, I’m short waisted so this would work for me. But long torso ladies might not like it.
Anon
It is just so pretty. I have an A-line sheath hybrid from JCF that this would be lovely with.
Anne-on
Maybe it’s me but I think the necklines in the pictures about ‘fight’ a bit – I’d layer this over something with a lower or a statement neckline. A cowl neck silky shell, a slight scoopneck, even a mock or turtleneck would look better than layering a crewneck over a crewneck.
Anonymous
It’s not the rise of the pants, it’s the length of the jacket. A cropped jacket worn with pants should overlap the waistband of the pants a little so there isn’t a stripe of top between the jacket and the pants. This jacket is several inches too short for the model to be wearing with pants unless they are circus or marching band pants.
Anonymous
+1 I think this is right! with wide pants in a rise higher than the end of the jacket this would be flattering on my 5’4’’ slightly overweight self. It’s a no for me because this neckline makes my short neck look shorter.
Anon
I own it in 2 colors in the winter weight (wool and acrylic, if I recall). I am short and it a fabulous work jacket, although I have also worn it with jeans. I also own the slightly longer (maybe an inch) boiled wool version and the same length denim. Honestly, I get compliments every time I wear one and I am contemplating buying a summerweight one. I am in the process of swapping out the gold buttons, though, because gold is just not my jam.
Anon
Sequin tweed? Does this work in your office? That is what is keeping me from pulling the trigger. I felt the same way about metallic threads running through tweed or boucle, which was also a big J. Crew wave.
Cat
I’d need to see it in person to tell if it’s tiny subtle shimmer or… not. Metallic threads are absolutely NBD to me such that this question kind of surprised me on that point – I worry more about the itch factor (as they tend to be pokey at the ends) than the look.
Anon
The sequins on the black colorway, while not full-on Liberace, are not subtle. I think it’s very pretty, but in black at least, I would not wear this to the office.
Anonymous
Yup works for mine. They are blessed I’ve shown up in a jacket.
Anon
I ordered the black version of this from the fall expecting to love it and returned. It was all wool (yay!) but unlined so incredibly itchy on the arms. Given I was primarily planning to wear over sheath dress that was a non starter. It also hit me on exactly the place I still have a bit of post baby stomach, so very unflattering. That said, one of my friends has the same one in black and looks phenomenal in it!
Anon8
How do you break up with your therapist? I know the answer is “use your words,” but when (I’m aware I’m totally overthinking this)? We usually don’t schedule the next session until the very end of the current session, where there’s not much time for a conversation. Email her a heads up? Bring it up in the moment? I also think this therapist will push back and try to get me to keep seeing her, but frankly she charges a fortune and while I’ve found my time working with her helpful, I can’t afford it.
Anne-on
In this case I’d probably send an email. Something like – I appreciate the time we’ve spent together and found it helpful but I’d like to stop further sessions. Perhaps worth asking if she’d be able to offer you a sliding scale fee? Or totally ok to just stop seeing her!
Anon
Bring it up at the start of the session.
Anon
I unilaterally decided to end therapy after 2 years, because I was in a good place and was ready to be done. I told my therapist in person at the beginning of our appointment. She was definitely surprised and questioned it a little (I was in the middle of some big life changes when I stopped), but ultimately was supportive. We decided that was my last session, talked about the progress I made, I got to thank her for all her help etc. I’m thankful we had that last appointment, it’s not often you get closure at the end of a relationship. Also, it reinforced some of what I had gained from therapy- I have people pleasing tendencies and telling someone I really respected that I was making the right choice for me even if it surprised her was great.
That being said, if you don’t have that kind of long term therapeutic relationship, I think it’s completely appropriate to email. I’d be honest about your reasons, who knows, maybe she can suggest someone else!
dear reader
I would email her, and if you have a session scheduled that you can’t cancel, ask that that session be used for off-boarding/strategies you can use outside of therapy.
Also I really hate that you get the feeling she’s going to push you to continue, despite your legit reason to not. If you think she’s going to use the last session to talk you into continuing, I would cancel that. Therapy is an awfully vulnerable place to be hard selling or pressuring people to change their minds.
Anonymous
+1,000 this happened to me. It was very undermining and I almost caved.
Anon
When I quit, I just told mine at the start of the session. I don’t really remember what we talked about for the whole time but it was quite easy, she was lovely and wished me well.
Ellen
Just tell her that you are not sure of your calendar, and that you will call her when you are sure. Then you just don’t call! That is pretty much how I handle men who want to date me a second time when I don’t. I am not interested in making a scene, so I just use this to delay the inevitable, but at least I don’t have to face the schmoe again.
Anon
I would ask her if she can do a sliding scale type thing for you in the same email. She may be able to help in that way. Tell her just what you wrote above at the end.
Anon
Does anyone have any good podcasts, book recommendations, or anything else to recommend for someone who has expressed interest in cognitive behavioral therapy? Therapist recommendations on the Peninsula in the Bay Area would also be appreciated. I have been specifically asked to help (including finding a therapist), but I don’t really know where to start. My friend is having problems with catastrophizing, stress management, black and white thinking, and issues that I vaguely know can be helped by CBT. Would love any ideas.
Anon
Can you localize where she lives a bit more? Can she pay out of pocket and/or does she have good insurance?
Anon
Palo Alto or close would be ideal. Good insurance coverage and enough resources to pay out of pocket if needed.
Anon
Maybe start here…. It sounds great to me.
https://med.stanford.edu/psychiatry/patient_care/digital.html
Chl
The anxiety workbook may be helpful.
Anon
This American Life did an episode on CPT (not exactly the same) several years ago. Google tells me it was called Ten Sessions. I know nothing about therapy, but the podcast was fascinating.
Nesprin
Psychology today is a good starting spot if insurance isn’t relevant, and her insurer’s directory if it is.
Anonymous
Lindsey Hopkins if she can pay out of pocket.
Fallen
+1 to Lindsey Hopkins. I know her from grad school and she is amazing.
Anon
Do you guys check your credit card statements regularly for accuracy? I used to be a lot better at that…
Anom
Used to be a lot better. Now I just glance to see if it looks alright. My parents taught me to save my receipts and then compare against the monthly statement. That was many moons ago… (I’m 46)
dear reader
I pay online and never look at the actual statements. When I go in to pay, I give the transaction list a quick look and if anything pops out as weird or I don’t recognize it, then I dig into it more. I keep refund emails in my inbox until they clear on the transaction list. But that’s about it. I pay whatever the current balance is when I’m in there every month, vs. the statement total, and that makes the math always seem weird comparing statements to the transaction list.
Anon
Same. I tend to only check when it’s surprisingly high. When I do review the expenses, I don’t ever find errors – just that I spent more money than I expected or occasional larger expenses are listed. I get an email whenever I get a refund to my card, so that makes it easier to track returns/credits.
Anon
I check. I’ve found a few things where there are unknown .99 charges, which my cc company tells me are tests to see if the card number can be used for fraud. They quickly reverse those, and sometimes have issued new card numbers and sometimes have not. Since I generally know what I’ve charged, it takes about 45 seconds to run my eye down the list of charges.
Anon
Once a week or so.
Vicky Austin
I used to check our finances daily in Mint; now I’m not as good about it.
Anon
I do, once a month.
Shelle
Ditto once a month. I use a calendar reminder.
Anonymous
I look at every transaction. My card number gets stolen about once a year. The fraudulent charges are usually small enough that I wouldn’t notice them if I were looking only at the bottom-line balance. Things like pizza, tacos, gas, etc.
Curious
+1. YNAB makes it easy. I’ve found fraud with transactions as small as $0.99.
Anon
I never check the actual statements, but I check once a week or so to make sure everything looks okay and once a month or so I download my spending to a spreadsheet to track my expenses.
nuqotw
Yes, each week, and I keep a separate ledger of all our transactions (credit card, checks, mortgage, etc.) so I can see where all the money goes. If I can’t identify a transaction I ask spouse, and if he can’t identify it we call the bank. We’ve caught a fraudulent charge…for ~$12… once.
Anon
I check several days a week, but more so to track my spending than to check for fraud. But, if there was something fraudulent I’d catch it since I’m so on top of it
Anon
Same, I check it all the time but for budgeting purposes.
Cat
each month before I submit payment.
Anon
+1
This is actually the main reason I still request paper bills be sent to me. Even though I have my major credit cards on autopay, I tend to only “remember” to check the statements when they come in the mail. I also don’t let mail stack up – I open or recycle every day – and keep a running stack of the things I need to look at.
Ribena
I never look at the actual statements but I log into the app every few days to see if everything looks right.
Anonymous
Before I pay everymonth I look at the charges. To be honest, I only look at the charges greater than $100. I charge nearly everything and can’t remember every $2 coffee charge. My card has been stolen a few times and the credit card company has always found it before I did. (A $150 charge at hooters was presumably out of character for a suburban mother.)
Anon
I’m in my CC and banking apps at least once a day and it sends me an alert any time a charge is made without my card present and if it’s a large purchase. I never look at the actual statement because I have seen the running list of charges every day before that.
Anon
I only use one credit card regularly, and it’s with my primary bang. I log in and check my account and card statement several times a week, so I keep up with what’s been posted.
Anonymous
My wife and I were both charged monthly for “Netflix”. We each thought it was legit because we did in fact have Netflix. When we realized and she went to close hers, Netflix said they have no product where we bill that amount. Turns out it was fraud via $17.95 per month for several years!! When I did a “Who’s watching” on Netflix it was people in the middle east! My point is to not just check one card in a vacuum. Look globally at your accounts.
Anon
WOW. Thanks for sharing that.
PJ
Yes, categorize every transaction in YNAB almost daily.
Anon
I look every day, but it’s because I use it to manage against my monthly budget and make sure I’m on track.
Anon
I take a quick look at my bank account and credit card account every day just to make sure no hinky charges are in there that I didn’t expect. I don’t “reconcile” the account the way many of us were taught to (nor do I “balance my checkbook” any more, largely because I only write two checks a month).
Anonymous
What is your “daily makeup” look, like if you’re running errands and won’t necessarily see anyone you know? In my 20s I wouldn’t leave the house without mascara, eyeliner, blush, lipstick, and eyeshadow… now I’ve either got my “no makeup” look to complement the “hobo yoga teacher who slept in her car” look I have going on, or I have like 5 shades of eyeshadow blended with contour and so forth if I’m going on a date or something. I need an inbetween!
ELS
My day-to-day makeup is typically concealer for my under eye, brow gel, and mascara. If I’m at work and going to see folks (or I’m doing an external zoom) I add blush and/or bronzer to give my face some additional color, since I am quite fair. Maybe a neutral lip crayon.
Anonymous
I wear sunscreen and lip gloss.
Cora
Under eye concealer, black mascara, bold lipstick. That’s my make up probably 80% of the time.
It’s not that much but I find that not wearing the concealer / mascara makes a big difference – I look much more washed out and also younger.
Anon
Something like this. https://youtu.be/BuCl3jz6Tkc
Anon
Something like this. https://youtu.be/BuCl3jz6Tkc
DC Inhouse Counsel
If I’m running errands and won’t see anyone I know its concealer (under eyes and any blemishes), clear brow wax and mascara. For work I add foundation and blush, sometimes a nude eyeshadow.
Anon8
Bare Minerals tinted moisturized, eyebrow pencil, mascara, NARS cream blush stick blended with fingers. Takes maybe five minutes and makes me feel put together.
Ribena
Moisturiser and mascara.
Anon
Here’s what I usually wear! I’ll add highlighter and maybe some cream eyeshadow if I want to be fancy.
– Ilia True Serum Skin Foundation or Super Serum Skin Tint
– Maybe some concealer; I have the Ilia one and it’s fine
– Ilia Multi-Stick for blush, on my eyelids, and along my hairline
– Ilia mascara
– Whatever grocery store eyebrow gel I have on hand
– Chapstick or gloss – Burts Bee’s pomegranate lip balm, Laneige Lip Glowy Balm, or Dior Addict Lip Glow Balm or Oil
Anon
If I’m running errands, I’m likely not wearing makeup or maybeee just tinted moisturizer and mascara.
My go to look for work and 75% of socializing is tinted moisturizer, brown upper lid eyeliner (a little think), mascara and blush. This takes me about 2 minutes.
For weddings or big nights out I might add lip stain, highlighter, or eye shadow. If I do eyeshadow I’ll do lower lid liner too.
Anonymous
I was surprised to see that no one before you posted about eyeliner. I need that daily, more so than anything else.
pugsnbourbon
Mascara and something tinted on my lips.
Anon
I always have sunscreen, under eye concealer, a little bit of blush (I’m very pale), and a touch of eyeliner (natural looking – I have sparse eyelashes and my eyes look naked and lash less to me without some eyeliner to fill in the gaps). For errands and a no-big-meetings day at work I usually add tinted moisturizer and eyeshadow. I’m in my late 30s and feel like this makes me out together enough without having a full face of makeup (I do full foundation and heavier blush and mascara for court only). In my 20s I did full makeup but I feel like things are more laid back, both because I’m older and have just changed a little re what makes me feel good, and because my BigLaw office is noticeably more casual post Covid.
Anon
“Out together enough” should be “put together enough”!
Cat
moisturizer, concealer, brow gel, cherry chapstick
add for errands that involve lunch or something – BB cream, neutral shadow, mascara, blush, maybe a real lip gloss if I’m feeling fancy
Anon
Foundation powder (Charlotte Tilbury), eyebrows filled in, mascara, lip color.
anon
Undereye concealer, blush, neutral colored eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara. Maybe some sheer lip color if I’m in the mood. It’s a full face of makeup but it doesn’t look heavy. I’m a dark winter with hereditary dark circles so without makeup I look sickly. The whole routine takes ten minutes so why not look my best every day?
Anon
Tinted moisturizer with spf
Eyebrow pencil
Eyeshadow
Mascara
Blush
Lipstick
Anon
Zero makeup or eyebrows at the most.
Anon
Tinted/dewy finish sunscreen, cream blush, and mascara is my daily go to. I rarely do more or less. Takes less than two minutes.
Trish
I am fascinated by how many of you wear concealer and no foundation. That never occurred to me but I do look like I have a black eye without concealer due to a dark spot under my left eye. My go to foundation is Estee Lauder Double wear but I would love a recommendation for a BB or CC cream for WFH/errand days.
Anon
My every day work makeup look is concealer with no foundation. I don’t like looking or feeling like my whole face is covered.
Anonymous
yes, agreed. I am 45 and I wear tinted BB (or maybe CC) cream every day, but no concealer at all. I have never worn concealer, and now I wonder if I am missing out. I have never noticed serious under eye circles before, but will have to check things out more closely.
Vicky Austin
Leaving the house only to run errands means sunscreen and very little else for me!
My actual daily look is tinted moisturizer + brow pencil + mascara, concealer if I have an obvious red patch or super visible under-eye circles, lips only if I’m feeling it.
thanksgiving anxiety
Summer Fridays skin tint; eyebrow pencil, mascara, and maybe blush if I’m feeling fancy.
Hypatia
Mine is under-eye concealer, eyeliner (kohl or liquid, whatever) just right on the lash line (no cat eye, not particularly visible, etc) and mascara, and a little rose stick blush. The under-eye concealer is key. But this isn’t far off from my normal workday makeup – add Ilia skin tint.
Anon
I’m always ready for a zoom call so skincare then tinted moisturizer, brow gel, a Bobbi brown shadow stick, a tiny bit of upper lash line liner pencil, mascara, concealer if I need it, nars o blush, and then I have a few sheer lipsticks (somewhere between lipstick and lip gloss) at my desk. This takes me 5-10 minutes depending on how careful I am being.
Coach Laura
Tinted moisturizers I find make my skin look more wrinkled and dull. Surprisingly, tinted primer (green in my case to get rid of the red) is a must and makes a difference. I use Neutrogena primer over my moisturizer. Then I put on Colorscience brush on sunscreen mineral powder. I like a tinted brow gel but even the clear gel makes a bigger difference than I ever expected before I started using it for everyday – it opens up my eyes even without mascara. Occasionally I’ll put undereye concealer and eye brightener. Then I use the covergirl all-day lipstick. Otherwise I look too colorless.
Anon
Moisturizer with spf, brows, and mascara.
A
Moisturiser plus sunscreen
Lipstick over lip balm
Anon
Dumb question but it’s annoying me: my husband has started covering our sectional couch with sheets. We have kids, he hates that the couch gets messy. He washes the sheets every few weeks. I hate them so much. I think they look awful and are uncomfortable and I wind up tearing the couch apart when looking for lost shoes.
Anyway, is there some magical solution for both our issues? Googling sectional slipcover didn’t really bring much hope.
Liza
What is the couch getting messy with? If it’s food/drink, can you forbid food/drink in the room where the sectional is? If it’s shoe dirt, can you have them take off shoes at the door? If it’s arts and crafts markings, can they do those activities elsewhere?
Doodles
+1 I have a 4 and 2 year old and my family room leather sofas don’t really get dirty. What is it that they’re doing that causes the messes and can you stop those activities on the sectional? Is your sectional white fabric or something else that’s maybe impractical for children in the household?
Anon
Food, drinks, snot, puke, poop, mystery grime and cat hair are the big ones.
The couch is brown microsuede so easy to spot clean.
Really the main issues are that our house is small so the family room is really the everything room and we have different standards of cleanliness. In my mind- we have a toddler and an infant. Things are going to be messy for a little while. In his- he just wants a clean place to relax at the end of the day. I don’t mind the sheets in theory but I hate them reality and wish there was something more comfortable.
anon
I empathize with both of you. Can your DH accept that other places in the house might be messier for awhile, as long as the couch remains a clean zone? I am the one with a higher standard of cleanliness, and once kids came along, it was pretty crucial that even though things were a little messier overall, there were places that could feel clean and normal to me. Mess is anxiety-producing for some of us …
Liza
I’m a little confused, does he put the sheets out during the day and remove them when he wants to sit down and relax? If not, how does having sheets covered with mess make a nicer experience than just sitting on a couch with some mess?
Either way it sounds like your best bet is indeed a cover, but not a slipcover but one that sits on top of the couch – similar to a sheet but actually purpose-made and shaped for a sectional. Like this:
https://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Subrtex-Reversible-Sofa-Corner-Sectional-Protector-L-Shape-Corner-Covers-With-Elastic-Straps/32603924/product.html?opre=1&option=60483082
https://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/Subrtex-Reversible-Armchair-Loveseat-Sofa-Slipcover/32675438/product.html?refccid=U4FEMJ3LMYHK44KKE3CI4W4LPQ&searchidx=7
Anonymous
I got custom white linen slipcovers for my very beat up pottery barn sectional. I just toss them in the wash every time there is a gross spot. The kids aren’t supposed to eat there but i occasionally do a bad job of wiping them down after their messy dinners and snacks. Anyway it looks super beachy and relaxed, I know it’s mostly clean and I’ll wait until we’re out of the toddler years to upgrade our couch. I highly recommend this.
Anonymous
Slipcovers are such a pain to remove, wash, iron or steam, and wrestle back on, and they never really hold their shape in the wash. I would just use a throw.
Vicky Austin
Can DH have a designated armchair the kids know not to touch?
Anon
Why not washable slipcovers? They look neater than sheets and are just as easy to wash.
Curious
+1. We have two from Amazon that mostly cover our long sectional (straight with chaise). I don’t love them, but they’re better than sheets.
Anom
This sounds like something my husband would do. When we bought a car, he covered the seats with towels to protect from the kids. That didn’t last long… Can you work with a no food or art project rule for the sofa?
Cb
Yeah, that’s our policy. No food on the sofa.
Anon 2.0
Reminds me of my sweet grandma. She always places a towel on top of her dryer to “keep it from getting scratched”, would put handtowels on her couch armrests when I was a kid (finally stopped when she upgraded to leather), and has a plastic runner down her hallway. She grew up very poor however and there was no replacing something if it was ruined, so she has that protection versus aesthetic mentality.
Anonymous
I’d hate it too.
Alternatives:
Change family habits so you keep the mess off the couch.
Buy fabric that matches your couch and use that instead of sheets
buy the slipcovers meant to keep pet mess off couches
Hire someone to make a washable slipcover
Wait it out until the kids are older
Get a different couch, that comes with a slipcover
Just let this couch get ruined and then replace it.
Vicky Austin
We regularly vacuum our couch because dog hair; would that be an option to keep it clean instead?
Anon
We have cats, not kids, but we often have cheap fleece throw blankets on parts of our couch to keep them from scratching and to make it easier to clean up fur and bodily fluids. I think they look fairly decent, definitely better than sheets, though we do take them off when we have visitors.
Anon
This is our strategy as well–fleece blankets over 2/3 of the sofa to allow our dog to sit up there with us. When company comes over, we take them off and use a lint brush to catch any hair that has somehow made its way under the blankets (which is kind of a lot, puzzlingly).
Cat
why the heck are shoes anywhere near the couch to begin with? Off at the door, then you don’t have lost shoes or dirty shoe marks to worry about!
otherwise yes, the answer is to confine messy stuff (food, projects) to areas that are easier to clean.
Anonymous
Oh, I dare you to start the shoes or no shoes in the house debate here again.
anon
I am both of you. Don’t let your kids eat on the couch. I am a neat freak, but having sheets strewn all over would drive me batty.
Anon
We have a beige sectional (with slipcovers!) and pets who are allowed all over it. I bought 2 twin blankets (one for each “wing” of the couch) at Tuesday Morning that are the same color beige, and they are folded and tucked neatly into the cushions. Your eye doesn’t really notice it, it protects the couch without worry, and they come off for company.
Anon
Get him a handheld carpet cleaning machine, like a Bissell Little Green. I occasionally clean our sofa with it because my children are disgusting. I think most slipcovers don’t look nice unless you get one custom made.
Anon
Why not an actual slip cover?
Anon
I agree! Slip covers aren’t perfect, but they look neater than sheets and serve the same purpose. I’d also maybe try to keep some of the messier activities and shoes off the couch.
I have to say, I do empathize with your husband here. I’m not even a huge neat freak (moderately so), but I would find it really gross and not relaxing at all to sit where someone puked recently. I get that babies and toddlers do what they do, but I’d want a mitigation measure in place as well! Both for personal sanity and to preserve the piece of furniture we paid a lot for.
Anonymous
Is there room for a Dad Chair? This is a time honored tradition in many houses! (Including mine growing up). A place where the kids cannot sit.
Anon
I have a mom chair. My kids sit in it all the time, but they hop right out of it when I walk into the room. They actually call it the Queen Chair.
Nesprin
+2
With a 2yr old and a 4yr old, stuff’s going to get gross, and it sounds like you live on your couch.
If I were you, I’d buy two copies of the same slip cover, so you can take one off to wash and immediately put the clean one on. Extra credit for a slip cover with ties or velcro or elastic so it stays in place with wiggly kids.
anon
Sheets are not the answer. You can go to homegoods or tj maxx and get a few throw blankets that look intentional but will protect the sofa. Also, I’d stop allowing your kids to eat on the couch. What also might be nice is to buy a comfy arm chair that will fit in the room that the kids aren’t allowed on and can be a clean relaxing sanctuary for adults.
anon
Agree to all of this. A pretty quilt in a stiff fabric is more likely to stay put than loose sheets. With young kids and pets your husband should lower his standards though. Consider ceding the living room to them and put an armchair in front of a tv in your bedroom.
Anonymous
How long has this been happening? I’ve found after many years of marriage to a fussy person that sometimes I just let it play out. In this case, I’d go with the sheets for a few weeks until it just becomes too much work for him (because I certainly won’t mess with it).
Other solutions we’ve used over the years:
– buy a cheap couch secondhand and don’t care what happens to it (this was my brilliant move for the basement- i knew he’d pitch a FIT over the state of the $8k leather sectional he wanted. I told him we’d buy this one for $500 off facebook marketplace and see how the kids treated it first. Newsflash: they jump on it, spill on it, etc. and neither of us really care.)
– slipcover
Trish
When my son was little, we had a giant blue sectional and we all ate and drank on it. I didn’t care. Now we have towels on the nice chairs that match the chairs because the cats get on them. Take the towel off to sit. If guests come, no towel. I would get a throw that you like for the couch for now.
Seafinch
This is why I have a slipcovered Ikea couch in my family room. They wash like rags and I actually haven’t found a design I like better (Stocksund). I hate grimey furniture. We don’t allow eating on the furniture but I have four kids so it’s washed not infrequently!
Elle
We got two sets of slip covers from h.versailtex on the zon. I like that the cushions have their own cover separate from the body of the couch so it doesn’t slide around. I think they look really good too.
thanksgiving anxiety
i can’t get past the shoe thing..it seems wild to me to be precious about a couch but wear shoes on it…I didn’t know people actually do that except for families in sitcoms
when we eat on the couch we put a blanket underneath us in case of spills. I also wash the couch cushion covers every few months on delicate in the washing machine and hang dry. I also have a mini carpet cleaner that I use on the non-removable portions of the sofa once in awhile, whenever I clean the living room rug. we also don’t wear shoes at all inside the house.
So I guess I’m more on your side–I want to enjoy the full use of my sofa, both for comfort and aesthetically, but I do a good job of mitigating the damages.
Anon
She has kids. Kids lose their shoes everywhere. Not hard to understand.
Anon
I am surprisingly with your husband here…why is poop getting on the couch? (I have three kids, they always have clothes and diapers on.) You either need to both compromise on what activities can happen on the couch (maybe eating but no drinks other than water, etc), or live with a cover situation.
DC Inhouse Counsel
I’m obsessed with the dress that matches this jacket, but in blue. I want to wear it to brunch or afternoon tea this spring/summer with a floppy straw hat and white heeled sandals.
Anon
You should get it!
Anon
Get it! And wear it! Even to the office! I’m continually shocked by how conservative people are on this board about clothes and how here’s this narrow category of “work clothes.” I go into my office 3-4 days a week, most of the time it’s not for an event and is just to work. We’re casual, so I wear whatever I want. If I was into today’s look, I’d absolutely wear it to the office, probably with jeans and either heels or sneakers depending on my mood. My personal philosophy is have something conservative for the big meeting but the rest of the time have a little fun. It’s never held me back professionally (I’m a SVP).
Cora
I think you could get a lot of wear out of that dress! Yes its summery but you can wear it to the office as well.
DC Inhouse Counsel
I worry that it’s slightly too short for the office. It’s 35.5″ length and I usually prefer at least 37″ for the office because I have a booty :)
PolyD
If you really like it, you could check if it has a deep enough hem to let out. That’s an easy thing a tailor could do and it probably wouldn’t cost much.
Another wedding q
How much would you give as a wedding gift to a honeymoon fund? Will be attending the out-of-town wedding with DH. Not super close to the couple anymore.
Anonymous
Nothing. I never give to honeymoon funds. I give a check made out to husband or wife for $200.
anon
Maybe I’m petty but I refuse to give directly to a honeymoon fund on principle. I prefer giving a physical gift but if there’s no registry then a check for 150-200.
Liza
It’s the same as cash so however much you’d give as cash. I typically do $100 for a wedding we’re attending as a couple.
Anon
Same here! I’m in the south and am 40 for context. It may be different in different areas.
Anon
Same here, except for close friends and younger family members I’d do $200.
Anon
The same amount I’d give in a check or spend on a gift from the registry. For me this amount is $100-$150 per person attending.
28 in Philly. Friends are just starting to get married. This amount seems average.
Anon
And fwiw, my preference for gifting is
1) something off the registry
2) money to a fund listed in the registry
3) a check
I don’t love giving checks because 1) I have to remember to bring it with me 2) I don’t know who to make it out to and 3) some couples wait a longgg time to deposit them and I don’t want that to mess with my finances
Anonymous
This couple is hoping to recoup their wedding costs. If they weren’t, they would not have set up a honeymoon fund. So the answer is to guess how much your attendance at the wedding costs and add $50. That is if you want the couple to feel that they got the benefit of their bargain for inviting you to their wedding.
Anon
Just because a couple hopes to “recoup” costs does not mean that a guest needs to actually play into that. This is so transactional, and I don’t think I’d want to go to a wedding where the couple doesn’t want me there unless I pay them for my attendance.
Anon
Or, perhaps, just a gander, they already have cookware, plates, are living together and felt pressured to register for something.
Anon
+1
Everyone I know getting married is in their early 30s, each member of the couple makes high 5 figures to low 6 figures anf the couple already lives together and doesn’t need various housewares.
Tbh I’d rather give them money for a nice honeymoon than an expensive platter
Anon
Right – they already have two sets of things and don’t need a third set.
Anonymous
I’m perplexed how anyone thinks this. You know most weddings cost way more than the $100 pp they may or may not average in gifts? Like the approximate cost of your plate is just that – it doesn’t include all of the of other expenses (and time! but of course womens time is worthless right).
Anon
Wedding discussions can go down endless rabbit holes.
I got married shortly before COVID in a LCOL area. We did a brunch wedding at a really nice venue. The actual food cost (before alcohol, taxes, gratuity, venue rental fee, coat check fee, bartender, music, dance floor) was $45 per person. I paid the venue about $110 per person.
Adjust as needed for your own area and venue. Some venues do include the venue fee as part of the plate cost.
None of what I listed includes dress, photographer, morning suit rentals, church fees (church service as held at a nearby church), flowers, or decorations (church or venue). It was simply the check that I cut to our venue.
Anon
I try to cover my plate & give more if it’s a close relative like a nephew or niece, but you know throwing a wedding is voluntary, right? It really should not matter to your guests how much you chose to spend. They’re invited guests, which again was your option.
Anonymous
Sure, which is why it’s ridiculous to think that anyone is trying to recoup the cost of their wedding through gifts. Like it’s not even close.
Horse Crazy
This is such a blanket assumption. I got married in October and we had a registry with items plus a honeymoon fund. I did this because we already own a lot of nice house stuff that one would normally put on a registry – we already have a kitchen aid mixer and All Clad pans, for example. It never occurred to me to recoup the cost of the wedding – I truly thought it would be nice to have some money for our honeymoon.
Anon
$200
Cat
whatever you’d give in cash. Even if the honeymoon fund pretends like you’re buying them a private beachfront dinner, it is literally just cash, not the actual thing.
Anokha
+1
Anon
I never give a physical gift for a wedding. IMO, a bridal shower is for physical gifts and a wedding is for cards with checks in them. I usually give $100-$150 per person attending. I’m in NYC area.
Sasha
+1. I always just bring cash in a card but if I see that they have a honeymoon fund I’ll send the money there prior and note in the card that I did so. Chicago area, ~$100 pp
Personal Stylist
Have you ever worked with a personal stylist? Either just through a store or someone independent? I can’t stand most of my clothes and am just at a loss on how to rebuild my wardrobe after the pandemic. I don’t seem to have the time or energy to go to lots of stores, shop online, or etc. I have a sense of my personal style, but no idea how to execute it. Would love to hear any experiences (or recommendations if virtual – bonus points if they are in Canada!) or advice. Thanks!
Anon
Consider these folks – https://www.charlygoss.com/
Anonymous
Have you actually used them for personal shopping or a style guide? I’ve considered using them a few times but the prices are so high I’ve had a hard time.
Anonymous
Oh look, one of her many employees is posting here again.
Anonymous
I went to a Nordstrom stylist for a few years (and really missed her when she left the state). The stylist I went to was great – she completely understood the vibe of my workplace and the price point I was aiming for. She got me to try things that were right for me that I would never have picked up. I never bought anything on sale with her (although it stopped me from wasting money by buying pieces that didn’t go with anything else I wore). BUT… I’ve had mixed luck with stylists since then. I remember in particular one who tried to sell me 3 or 4 pairs of dress pants – I’m an engineer and wear jeans 95% of days. It helps a lot to provide pictures of co-workers and things from workplace events. I haven’t used a stylist in years but, at this point, am tempted to hire someone independent to look through my clothes and suggest combinations and what items might help bring things together.
Anon
One warning on the Nordstrom stylists – they can be hit or miss.
In my city (maybe everywhere?), I had to fill out a questionnaire ahead of time and they used that to match me to a stylist. My stylist was close to my age (30s) at the time, but from a different department than was appropriate for me. I didn’t realize the significance of this at the time. You know how the women’s section is broken down into a lot of different “departments” that each trend towards a different type of “look”. What they chose was a poor match for me, and all the looks came from the stylists small department. I clearly stated I was looking for work clothes (I worked in a hospital) and she brought me skinny jeans, low rider wide leg pants that required me to wear high heels (I am on my feet walking long distances all day) and crazy huge flowy tops that looked wrong under a white coat. It was like the opposite of what I should be wearing. I felt so pressured and uncomfortable and spent more on one pair of pants than I have every spent in my life on any article of clothing…. that they had me tailor immediately (they called the tailor to come up before I’d even taken them off!!) so then I couldn’t return them. Within 1 year I couldn’t wear the pants anymore…the hugging my butt style was also not forgiving, especially once tailored.
As soon as I got out of the room with that stylist, I walked across the floor to a different Nordstrom department and bought half a dozen tops that were appropriate.
So with Nordstrom, I’d just recommend you know the different departments ahead of time, if possible, and try to indicate in the questionnaire which department seemed to be more your style/desired look. Because if you trust them to choose for you, they may miss. Or it is possible that they assign the new clients (or ones with smaller balances on their Nordstrom credit card) with the new inexperienced stylists.
Anon
No, because I love doing it myself and with a few very fashion minded girlfriends. But I do look to a lot of blogs and pinterest type things for inspiration. For work, So Susie Wright is my favorite- her recommendations are spot on. She’s a former Nordstrom stylist and gets the work vibe.
Gretchen
I have a perfect recommendation for you – Lila Fox. She’s based in New Jersey but will work with you on Zoom. She is a personal friend who is turning her unofficial styling business (which I’ve used many times) into a more formal business. She is nonjudgmental, creative, and will absolutely help you figure out how to pull looks together. Because she’s just ramping up, she can also offer you intro pricing. lilaannefox@gmail.com
Good luck! Tell her Gretchen sent you.
Anon
I’ve done it a handful of times, once at Macy’s and at least three times at Nordstrom. As with everything, some are better than others. I never did meet one who understood what it was like to dress for an office job in a non-creative field, but they did help me find brands I wasn’t familiar with and I tried on things I wouldn’t have chosen. My issue was that once I found one I liked, they inevitably moved on somewhere else and I had to work with someone new the next time.
One of them did build me an excellent business travel capsule, though, and I’ve copied that approach for just about every trip since then.
Stylist anon
I recently used Maria DiLorenzo and she was fantastic. She used to work for Nordstrom and now owns her own company. She’s in Boston but also does virtual consultations. She is great to work with — she has a keen eye for fashion and a lot of high positive energy. She really helped me capture my personal style and helped me find clothes that worked well with clothes I already own. Her website is mfdstyle.com.
What to Wear
Hi ladies- A question on what to wear…
My diary tomorrow:
8:30am- 1:30pm- Board induction meeting with members of a not for profit board of native communities. This is my first sitting in this board since appointment two weeks ago
2pm- 4pm. Taking part in tech forum where I am a VC investor. All in person
7pm. A dinner with UHNWIs for a local caucus.
Where going back home to change is not an option, what would you wear tomorrow? I am considering carrying a change of clothes with me (I drive so can comfortably leave the clothes in the car during the day).
Anon
Long sleeved business professional dress with jewelry & a jacket? Take the jacket out to de-formalize, add jacket for more formal, consider switching out jewelry if needed?
What to Wear
Great idea to switch up on the jewellery to a business formal dress.
I had considered a midi skirt with a short sleeved blouse and chunky heeled shoe for the day, which would be switched up for a stilletto for the night.
What to Wear
Thanks.
I have considered wearing a midi skirt with a cute blouse and a jacket with chunky heeled shoes for the day, which I would switch up for stilettos for the night.
Anon
For the Board meeting, I think dressing for the rest of the day is fine. I’ve sat on Boards where people are coming/going to or from work and arrive in full suits.
I can’t speak to VC, but I work with U/HNWIs and would wear a sheath dress and blazer for a dinner.
Anonymous
Idk why you’d need to change? I’d wear a nice work dress with sleeves to all of those events.
What to Wear
Lol- Valid point! I don’t have to change.
Well the day part I feel I can get away with a business casual dressing. I am not a big fan of sheaths yet I want to keep it all semi formal.
For VCs we tend to dress down quite a bit- Maybe one level above the hoodie and jeans observed in tech bros. dark colored jeans with a blouse and jacket or a dress with closed toe wedges are my day-to-day wear.
Anon
Can you swap out the topper for the sheath dress with a denim jacket for the VCs?
Anon
Same here, those are all the same category. I’d probably top with a blazer because I run cold.
anon
I live in Silicon Valley, and the men I know would absolutely wear whatever they normally wear (jeans, long sleeve t-shirt, fleece/vest) for items #2 and #3 and not give it a second thought. You’re going into these events the person with the money and can also wear whatever you want.
#1 is worth a bit more thought in order to show respect, particularly if you’re not already an active member of the native communities. I think it’d be respectful to match the level of formality of the board. I’d go with slacks, a blouse, and jacket if I didn’t know what the board usually wears to meetings.
A
Dress pants
High end tee or blouse
Blazer
Statement Jewelry in bag
dreaming of vacation
My husband and I are brainstorming for our next big vacation. We typically have more restrictions or opinions, so we are overwhelmed with options. Our 8 year old child will be coming along, so it will either be at Christmas/New Years or spring break 2024. We would be leaving from the East Coast and he adjusts well to a new time zone, so we are willing to try most locations. I worry that Australia/New Zealand may be too far . We prefer traveling to different cities/countries or to see animals/pretty views rather than beaches or amusement parks. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Anokha
Are you thinking 1 week? If so, Australia/New Zealand seems far for that trip.
Anon
I’d go to Ireland and drive around the countryside staying at BNBs. I love a cozy winter trip.
Anon
Having done this, I agree completely, except we just stayed in Dublin. Coming from California, everything in Ireland seems a short drive away to us.
NYCer
Have you been to the Galapagos? I went before I had kids, but definitely want to take my kids back.
An.On.
How about Morocco? I went on a guided tour group that sort of circled the north half of the country, but it’s got beautiful architecture, desert views, roman ruins, mountains, ocean, etc. I think we did 4 -5 cities/stops (Rabat, Fez, Casablanca, Marrakech, Ourzazate, Essouira) on a week-ish trip, and didn’t feel like we spent ages traveling. Plus you can buy a ton of carpets for your house.
Anonymous
Colombia
Anonymous
I would plan around the 8 yr old. They are only 8 for such a short time (enough energy and maturity to actually DO things) and someday soon you won’t be able to do the kid-friendly stuff anymore. Costa Rica hikes to view animals or the like will make for a happier time.
Things like buying carpets or tooling the Irish countryside sound like they’re better suited for a couple’s pace. I think most kids would be miserable. And you have so many more years ahead for that sort of thing.
South American girl
Agreed. My parents took us to South Africa when I was 11, my brother was 7 and my sister was 5, and we had the most amazing time. We went to Kruger Park for Safari (the entrance closest to Nelspruit), Cape Town and spent a day in Johannesburg to visit the apartheid museum. I think December might be too hot, but spring break should be perfect (we went in April, during Easter break, and the weather was great, chilly but sunny.)
Of Counsel
As someone who traveled extensively with my kid from 6 months on (she is now an adult), my suggestions for that age range would not include anything that requires a lot of time in a car (so not Ireland). And Australia/NZ is a long way to go for a week, even for a kid who travels well.
Costa Rica and Belize are both great with kids that age (I know you said no interest in beaches but the snorkeling in Belize is amazing and in the interior is also a lot of fun: Mayan ruins, river rafting, birds and iguanas, etc.). If you end up going in the spring, then European cities are also fun as long as you keep their interests centered. In that case, I suggest picking one city (maybe 2 if you kid likes riding trains). Rome was a surprisingly big hit. For Costa Rica, I suggest a night or two at the Peace Lodge (it is a Disneyfied version of Costa Rica but so much fun with kids. For Belize, the Belize Zoo is amazing, especially if you do a tour. It is all native animals, mostly rescued.
One warning: If your spring break coincides with Holy Week be prepared for everything to be twice as crowded and twice as expensive (and for a lot of things to close early on Thursday and be closed Friday).
Enjoy! I have a lot of great memories of traveling with my kid.
Anan
Japan! Particularly Kyoto.
Anonymous
How about Oaxaca, Mexico? Great food, beautiful adventuring, you can swim at the Petrified Waterfalls, you can learn to cook, and the weather will be beautiful.
OP
Amount of time away is TBD, but both school breaks are longer than usual so hopefully we can do 10 days. Thank you for the reminder about Easter. Looks like the the spring break will coincide with Easter. We keep thinking we should wait on the Galapagos until he is older, but yet I wonder if he will love animals as much as he does now.
A
Ski Trip to Whistler or Europe.
Cb
My 5 year old walked out of ukulele lessons with an offer of a free upright piano “but we can’t take it home on our bicycles…”. And somehow it’s being delivered tomorrow. Is there an app which is particularly good for piano skills? My husband played as a child but is rusty, and would like to regain skills, but lessons would be tricky at the moment.
Anon
Not sure if this is an answer, but my cousin was looking for a piano teacher for her kids and when she found out the teacher’s only qualifications were taking 5 years of lessons as a child, she realized that she could teach (having taken 7 years herself) and eventually quit her job in health care to teach piano professionally. So if your husband played for a significant amount of time, he could definitely get up to speed to work with your kid if he has the temperament.
Anon
Ime, parents teaching kids anything is a recipe for tears and frustration.
Anon
This. My kids like that they can ask me (finance person) math questions probably up to AB Calc. But I hired a math tutor for them and they just do the math, not whine and revisit their list of grievances (which is their stress response).
Cb
I can teach my 5-year-old most things, we’ve made way more progress with at home reading lessons than school reading instruction but I’m not sure my husband has the same talent. I teach uni so there are some transferrable skills.
I think husband wants to brush up, and son wants to learn from scratch.
Anon
+1
Yes, teaching your kids is a recipe for disaster, especially when they are as young as 5!
But if it’s her husband that would like to restart – how wonderful! Sorry, I don’t know the Apps, but I bet there are YouTube channels exactly targeting folks like your husband who are looking to restart.
Kid may want to start playing once they see Dad playing. I’d also start playing more classical piano music in the house…. at certain times of day regularly. Like with dinner, or in the evening etc… And that once the little one seems to want to start playing…. hire a pro, experienced with young children.
Anonymous
I strongly recommend against trying to teach your own child music even if you are already a music teacher. I would drop the ukulele class and have him take piano class instead.
Cb
Ah, our local music school doesn’t do piano at 5, but he’s loving ukulele group lessons. He picked up chords so so quickly. I’m hoping my husband will get back into the piano and son will feel inspired.
Anon
Private lessons is better for piano.
Anonymous
If you are dead set against lessons, buy him a piano primer book (assuming he can read words, not necessarily music) and let him work through it on his own.
anon
musicnotes app. we use i on the ipad.
learning piano can be incredibly frustrating, adding a parent teacher is a recipe for disaster (or just recipe for having a giant new dust collector in your home).
BB
Try the app called Simply. It’s a piano (and guitar, I think) teaching app, and I think it has stuff for kids.
Anon
It appears that I now need a primer to wear makeup. With my rosacea, I’d like to wear makeup. I have t made it to Sephora after a month of hoping to. What is something good I can get at a drug store? Oily skin. And do I put on over sunscreen?
Anon
Monistat Chafing Gel has the exact same texture as the Smashbox Photofinish Primer. Put sunscreen on first then primer.
Anon
I’m a big fan of a powder foundation, much easier to get right. I just put it on over moisturizer and it’s smooths everything out, takes away the red and I’m ready to go in seconds. This is my favorite
https://www.sephora.com/product/airbrush-flawless-finish-setting-powder
Anon
The e.l.f. primers are great and there’s a green tinted one designed especially to counter redness. Over sunscreen, yes.
Squeak
The ELF green primer is excellent for my pink-toned, acne prone skin. I second this recommendation.
Anonymous
The Milk Hydro Grip primer is amazing, which is a Sephora product, but I’ve heard that Elf Power Grip Primer is basically an identical dupe and intend to try that out next time!
Cb
Ah, I’ve got a lupus butterfly rash and the thing that works for me is the Dr Jaart redness balm. I don’t always find foundation necessary after I use it.
Anon
Tatcha Silk Canvas is great. It’s just a primer and doesn’t add any noticeable moisturizer.
I also like the Bobbi Brown Primer Plus, which has SPF 50, if you’re looking to combine the spf and primer steps.
Anon
PS I have rosacea and have used both of these. My preference is the Bobbi Brown because I like fewer steps.
Help - 4 night direct flight getaway from DC?
Seeking advice on where to go! DH and I have two young kids and want to get away for our anniversary in May, for probably 4 nights. Coming from DC. Want something relaxing/probably tropical/easy. Direct flight strongly preferred so as to not waste time traveling. What is the best place, and would also love actual resort or hotel recommendations! (Want someplace nice but don’t have the budget for super top of the line.) TIA!
anon a mouse
Aruba! Direct flight from Dulles, always sunny and warm. Look into the Renaissance, which has a short boat ride to an adults-only island.
If you are costco members, this is the perfect thing to just plug your dates into caribbean vacation and see what comes up, too.
Cat
I’d put your rough dates in google flights but leave the destination blank so you can zoom in on the caribbean and see what routes are available and to get a sense of pricing. Turks & Caicos is one that will def have an easy nonstop from DC.
Anon
I would definitely do an adults only resort. I’ve done this kind of trip a lot with kids and without, and you generally get a lot more for your money at places that don’t allow children. All the family resorts I’ve stayed at under $1k a night were pretty awful. Live Aqua Cancun is my favorite all-inclusive resort that isn’t super expensive. It’s not cheap, but it’s pretty reasonable (depending on season usually $400-$600) and has better food and ambiance than many resorts that cost twice as much. In general Cancun is cheaper than the Caribbean. I love Turks and Caicos, Antigua and St Lucia but they all tend to be pricey. I think from IAD you’ll have a lot of nonstop options on United.
anon
Beaches Turks & Caicos. Chef kiss.
Anon
I love Beaches TCI, we’ve gone as a family twice, but I would not recommend it for a couple with kids looking for a kid free getaway. There are kids everywhere. The resort is designed for families, and that’s the vast majority of who visits. On our last trip we met some honeymooners who were very unhappy there. I felt bad for them , but also it’s kind of travel planning 101 to not honeymoon at a family resort. It also starts around $1k a night and goes up (a lot) from there, so not for someone who is budget conscious.
Cat
Omg so much this. Do not on any planet go to a Beaches for a couples’ getaway!
Anon
Agree with Cancun, but would also vote for Tulum. It’s a 1.5 hour drive away from the Cancun airport so not nothing, but very worth it if you want smaller, walkable and more hippie. Would do a beach front resort like Encatada.
recco
San Juan! Amazing direct flights in and out of DCA, and it’s great to not have to worry about customs for a weekend trip. You can do some beach relaxing, some sightseeing, some nature–it’s the best!
Anon
Since you all give such great travel advice, I thought I would pick your brains for an upcoming spring trip to Portugal. I have never been and we are staying 2 days in Lisbon and 5 in the Algarve region. My husband and I are very outdoorsy and will be planning some hikes, but we are also going with my history buff brother and his shopping-loving wife. Let me know of any restaurants/stores/must-sees!
Anonymous
I’d skip Lisbon and go to Porto instead. If you really want to go to Lisbon, the Rick Steves walking tour was really great.
Anon
Or Seville. Seville is closer to the Algarve than either Lisbon or Porto.
Seafinch
Great Lisbon restaurant was Cantinho do Avillez, it’s maybe Michelin? Came highly recommended and we enjoyed.
The highlight of the trip for me was getting custom fit leather gloves at this famous, tiny little shop called Ulisses. It was a very cool experience. I also bought handmade shoes.
Hypatia
I’d definitely go to Cascais national park – the Pena palace is kinda wild, Monte da Lua is beautiful, the west coast is gorgeous around Cabo da Roca. Casal Santa Maria winery is lovely if you’re into that.
London Associate
Lisbon – Taste of Lisboa tour, free walking tours, Time Out Market. Seconding Porto but it’s not the most accessible.
London Associate
Algarve – I did one of the catamaran boat tours around the cliffs that moors for off-boat sea swimming and paddling etc and it was so much fun.
A
Visit Sintra.
Anon
Does anyone have a referral for a will and estate planning attorney practicing in NH?
MJ
Yes, Grossman Ripps and Albert. Small practice in Norwich, VT (right across the river from Hanover, NH). This is a very wealthy area of the Upper Valley with tons of retirees. My friend did an internship there when we were in law school and very seriously considered joining them. They are well regarded.
Deedee
Just back from a long weekend in Edinburgh (last big trip before baby!) and dreaming about my next vacation. My spouse has very limited windows off, so we’d be looking at 1-3 weeks over the holidays—length will depend on location wrt budget. We will have a seven month old, our first. We’d love to see parts of Europe that we haven’t before. We’ve done the UK twice and Paris but neither of us has been to Spain or Italy, and perhaps some destinations there would be milder in Dec/Jan. Tell me: What would you plan in my situation?
Anon
It’s not clear to me if you’re asking where would be good with a baby, but I’d just go where you and Dh want to go. Babies are surprisingly portable and you’ll be dictated by toddler needs soon enough.
Personally I don’t enjoy southern Europe that time of year. It’s chilly and rainy. I’d either lean into the cold and do the Alps and/or Christmas markets, or I’d go somewhere actually warm (Caribbean, Hawaii, Florida, southern hemisphere).
Deedee
I know I’m writing back late, but where would you go to lean into the Christmas season abroad? I have heard Germany has lots of Christmas markets, but that is the extent of my knowledge!
Anon
I don’t have firsthand experience either. Germany is definitely the classic place and I’ve also heard of markets in Vienna, Prague, Brussels and other cities. A quick search turned up this story: https://www.travelandleisure.com/european-christmas-markets-germany-france-switzerland-austria-belgium-6951231
Anon
Where are you coming from? With a baby that age, I would prioritize a non-stop flight to cut down on the possibility of delays and because a baby can sleep beautifully on a flight but the process of changing planes will wake them up at the worst possible time, which guarantees misery for you and every single person on your flight (ask me how I know! I still have flashbacks.)
That said and assuming eastern US/Canada, I would recommend southern Spain or Italy. I cannot speak to Spain, but my experience was that Italians love babies and will bend over backward to assist as long as you show basic consideration.
Have a great time! Travel with babies is actually fun and easy. It is once they are old enough to be mobile but too young to have self-control that things get dicey.
Deedee
Such helpful advice, thank you! Flying from Newark (or possibly New York if needed) so filtering by direct flights should leave us with good options still!
Cat
ymmv but what DH and I like about Europe trips is actually how much time we spend outside – wandering, biking, cafe-sitting, and in the case of southern Europe getting a little beach or boat time in. for that reason we have never planned a cold-weather trip over. that said, if you’re more interested in indoor stuff, go for it – while baby is still young enough to be worn in a carrier rather than having to schlep a stroller around cobblestones and stairs!
Deedee
We too love lots of walking but won’t have another window for vaca until May 2024, when we’re loosely committed to seeing far-away family. But your point’s well taken! Hoping plenty of museum and art time could help make up for potential poor weather.
Anonymous
I’d think if that’s really the best time of year. You’ll be in height of RSV season.
Deedee
This is true and I guess we’ll have to see how we feel. Baby won’t be in daycare yet but will be when we have our next window off in May 2024 (babe will be 1 year).
Madrilian
Souther Spain will be quite mild in winter to do things outside (think Andalusia or Comunidad Valenciana more than Balearic islands) but it you are really looking for beach weather you could go to Canary Island (Tenerife will be my choice if it is your first time there with plenty of things to do and visit)
From Newark I think you only have direct flights to Madrid or Barcelona. I would flight to Madrid and from there speed train to Valencia/Alicante or Cordoba/Seville.
Anon
United has non stops from Newark to Palma and Malaga but only in summer. But for anyone else travel planning – it’s a really nice flight and easy way to visit parts of Spain that are slightly more off the beaten path.
Anonymous
Italy. I have visited Rome and Florence around New Years. The weather was mild, better than NYC/DC. We spent a ton of time walking. If you like museums, it is one more opportunity before the child starts complaining. I have not been back to Italy since kids but am hoping that will occur soon as Italians have a great reputation of being family friendly.
Anon
Italy is my favorite country to travel to with toddlers and preschoolers. They adore young children and the food is easy for even the pickiest eaters. We’ve had luck with doing short museum visits with kids (gelato bribes are involved) and you can also trade off who is with the kids and who is at the museum. But it is definitely different than child free travel.
A
Go to the alps. Sunny and snowy.