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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Mock-Neck Knit Top

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This mock-neck knit top from Halogen looks like a great basic for creating all kinds of outfits this summer. For work, I would wear this tucked into a swingy skirt or a pair of paper-bag-waist pants. For a weekend look, I would wear this with a pair of high-waisted jeans if I were trying to lean into the ʼ90s look, or (more likely) untucked with a pair of bright ankle pants.

Do note that some of the reviews suggest that the fit is a bit snug, so you may want to size up.

The top is $29.40, marked down from $49, at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XXS–XXL.

An option in sizes 1X–4X is from Eileen Fisher (in white); it's $56.75, marked down from $78, at Zappos.

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Sales of note for 12.10

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267 Comments

  1. Travel q! We are just planning a 10-night trip to Greece and debating how to allocate our time. We are eyeing 2 islands and Athens, which seems pretty typical, but making up our mind on the number of days each place (and whether to do Athens first or last) is a struggle. Would you pick-

    -Arrive Athens early (10 am), proceed directly to ferry to island #1, and ultimately return to Athens for 2-3 nights prior to flying out midday; or
    -Arrive Athens late (4 pm), stay in Athens first, then islands, departing island #2 on the last morning (flight home isn’t until 5:45 pm)?

    The latter itinerary would make us a little nervous about missing the flight home, but means flying Emirates instead of our usual AA, which could be a treat…

    Bonus question – if you were picking two islands, which would you pick? Santorini and _______ is the debate. We are definitely not beach club types so — um, probably not Mykonos, but Milos? Naxos? How on earth do people pick?

    1. I always do the city first and then head to the island/countryside. It’s more relaxing that way. We did do a night at an airport hotel in Athens on the way home to not take a chance on missing the flight. The Sofitel was actually really nice.

      We did Santorini and Mykonos on our honeymoon. We adored Santorini but found Mykonos pretty blah after the spectacular views on Santorini. I would definitely recommend a different island than Mykonos, especially if you aren’t into nightlife. I’m not sure there are any Greek Islands that compare to Santorini so if I went to Greece again I’d probably just go there. But I definitely understand the impulse to see two islands on your first trip, we felt the same way. Budget more time in Santorini though – there’s a lot of stuff to see and do there.

    2. I would do Athens last, because it’s SO intensely hot that having been on the islands first will give you a chance to acclimatise while not also trying to sightsee.

    3. I’d do Naxos and combine the option. Spend one night in Athens on arrival and one pre departure.

    4. I think 2-3 days in Athens is a lot…I’ve been twice and would add another island day over staying in Athens that long. I like Mykonos, and I’m not into nightlife. It is still beautiful even if different from Santorini. The area down by the Mykonos Grand is pretty quiet. I would add Paros or Naxos.

      What all do you want to see in Athens? Both trips I did Athens first (took me about a day) and then went to the islands. I also stayed at the Sofitel by the airport the night before leaving and liked it.

      1. OP here – thanks for the replies so far. We are first timers who want to see the highlights (we are not Greek scholars, but do enjoy learning and seeing history) but hate rushing around especially when hot, so figured 3 nights (aka 2 days) in Athens might be appropriate… but maybe 2 nights and 1 full day is enough?

        How would you allocate the remaining 7-8 – 5 Santorini and 3 other island?

        1. I’d do three Santorini five Naxos. Santorini is stunning but it’s also staggeringly expensive and exclusively tourists. Naxos has lots of villages to visit, great beaches, you can take a day trip to Paros, and def do a day sailing trip on a Catamaran. Fantastic food as well.

        2. Assuming you have 9 days I would do 2 days in Athens, 4 days in Santorini, 3 in other island. I don’t think 1 full day is enough in Athens. I don’t get the hate for Athens, I thought it was a really nice city and, yes, it’s hot but not unbearably so. You’ll need one full day for the Parthenon + museum and then it was nice to have a day to just wander around and explore the different neighborhoods. We had a third day there but used it for a day trip to Delphi. If you don’t care about that, two days in Athens should be plenty.

          Four days in Santorini is probably enough but I would not want to have only three days there. There are three distinct villages to explore, plus all the beaches and anything you want to do on the water. I would definitely do a catamaran trip on Santorini for the stunning views. The hotels on Santorini are really beautiful and many of them have amazing pools with incredible views, so even if you’re not normally “lounge around at the hotel” people you’ll want to plan some time there. FYI, Santorini should be a lot less crowded than normal this year, because the cruise ships contribute heavily to the crowds and they aren’t operating at normal capacity now.

      2. I agree that 2-3 days in Athens is a lot. We were there for about 3 days before heading to the islands. Even after accounting for jet lag and my interest in the history, by the end of day 2 we were bored. I think 2 nights probably would’ve been a good fit for us.

        I also agree that Mykonos is great even if you don’t partake in the nightlife. We didn’t and enjoyed the island immensely.

    5. What time of year will you be there? Ferry service is limited in the off-season, and also can be unreliable due to rough water, in which case you’ll either want to allow a lot of cushion or fly to the islands instead.

        1. That may be fine, but definitely check ferry schedules in advance just in case – I’m not sure when the summer season ends. I went in November and it was great in terms of no crowds, but ferries were not a workable option for the islands by that point.

          1. Thanks for the heads up! Based on running some sample routes on the ferry hopper s-te, it looks like we will be in good shape, but we may opt to fly to Santorini depending on how the trip schedule shakes out.

    6. I went to Greece in 2018. No way would I plan on going directly from plane to ferry; our flights on AA were delayed substantially both ways due to Athens air traffic control.

      We spent about a day in Athens (got to the hotel around noon and flew to Santorini the next evening). I would’ve liked an extra day because I love history, but one day was enough to see the basics including the Parthenon.

      Santorini was really crowded and expensive, though beautiful and worth a day or two. My favorite was Crete, so much history, smaller crowds, and great weather.

    7. I can tell you that Santorini is lovely, although very pricey. I recommend visiting the lost city of Akrotiri, doing a catamaran tour – totally worth it, visiting the kitschy-looking but charming and informative Museum of Atlantis, and the wine museum, and doing a couple of winery tours. We have been to Greece several times but I do NOT recommend Mykonos. Very expensive and not very truly “Greek” imho. We LOVED Naxos. There are little villages, a working Olive Oil museum, you can climb Mount Zas, the old castle and temple are spectacular. If you are interested in looking for great recommendations on accommodations and all things Greek there is a website/FB group called “Matt Barrett’s Guides to Greece and the Greek Islands” which I can HIGHLY recommend. If it is in your price range I can recommend the Hotel Ira in Santorini and the Nissaki Beach Hotel in Naxos and the Electra Palace in Athens (although the Hotel Grande Bretagne is phenomenal). Matt’s page has TONS of recommendations in all other price ranges. So exciting for you and I wish we were going again this year!

      1. Also Crete is delightful – but very large and hard to experience in just a short time (I think). If I went again I think I would go for longer than the 4 days I spent there the first visit. Flying between the islands is something you might consider – flights are cheap. Ferries to and from Naxos and Santorini aren’t super long trips but take lots of hand sanitizer for the same reason it is necessary on cruise ships (norovirus – speaking from my own family’s sad experience on one trip).

        1. We did a whole week just in Crete (with a day or two in Athens) and it was great and there was PLENTY to do and see.

    8. I do Greece every couple years because I have family that retired on Crete and I always think Crete is underrated. The beaches aren’t as good as Santorini but I love the history and it’s not as crowded with the island hopping people.

    9. We went to Rhodes, Crete and Santorini. I liked them all — certainly different. I would split your time in Athens so as not to mess up your flights. I would also consider flying between the islands. My experience on one ferry was less than stellar — hours late, people were literally throwing their kids on board to save seats. We spent the night on an uncovered deck in the rain!!

    10. I did this trip – I really enjoyed my time in Athens and didn’t quite understand it’s bad reputation, but I agree you don’t need much time there. I’d do Santorini and Crete.

      1. I think you need to decide your priorities. Scenery? Santorini wins hands down. Archeological interest? for islands, Crete, but personally I’d put in a plug for Mycenae/Argos. Mycenae is just so atmospheric, and the tombs are amazing. It’s not that far from Athens; I think it would be feasible to do as a day trip (if my memory is at all right – I was there many years ago). And just for experiencing island life, I really enjoyed Paros.

    12. Greek ferry schedules are a delightful work of fiction, and have absolutely made me miss flights before. Strong vote for athens last.

    13. I have been to Greece many times (have family there) and would recommend skipping the ferries and just flying between islands. So much faster and more reliable. On our last trip we had a layover in Athens and then flew directly to Crete followed by Rhodes. I like going to Athens at the end of the trip so no worries about catching our flight home.

      My favorite islands have been Santorini (stay in Oia), Rhodes, and Mykonos (stay in a quieter part of the island if you’re not into nightlife). Crete is so big, I feel like you need at least a week there.

    14. OP here – thanks for all the advice! We will not attempt any same-day flight + ferry options, I promise :)

  2. We’ve a very large hilly backyard that’s kinda wild at the moment and a smaller for our area (1600sq ft) SFH. When we bought the house we thought that would be more than enough for a DINK or we can always add to/expand the house. 5 years later, perhaps it’s lifestyle creep, perhaps it’s aging that makes me feel I need a sizeable bathroom… Anyway the house feels small but any addition seems REALLY expensive! We got a few quotes. Not sure what I’m asking… Guess any anecdata, experiences, ideas now that I realize throwing money at it is not as simple as I thought. We’re in the North east so not like we enjoy the yard the whole year. First time home owners. Child free. Not tied to the area but don’t have immediate plans to move.

    1. Take a long, hard look at your stuff. 1600 SF is not a small house. Get rid of crap. Get the stuff that remains organized. Hire a landscape architect to get the most out of your land.

      1. I don’t disagree, but it seems that the bathroom is the main issue. It could be 1600 SF with atypically small bathrooms or something.

        1. But what do you actually *do* in there that requires so much space? I thought I’d HATE my two 5X7 foot bathrooms when I bought my house, but 5 years later, I don’t mind them one bit and expanding their footprint would just be added, wasted space.

          1. What I do in my small bathroom is have difficulty shaving in the tiny shower, run out of storage space, and constantly bump into my husband while trying to get ready in the morning.

    2. Construction costs are particularly high right now due to huge demand. What dollar quotes are you getting for what size addition?

    3. Maybe have a consult with an interior designer? My parents downsized from 4200sq ft to 1200 sq ft and had to get all new furniture because their big house furniture was taking up all the space in their new house. If 1600sq ft is feeling tight for two people, I’d start there.

      And consider how you can make better use of your garden without the addition – outdoor dining room and lounge area? Yes you can’t use it all year round but you can certainly use it for many months of the year. We add cozy throws to our outside lounge area and sit outside with tea and read after dinner many bright early spring evenings.

    4. I’m also a childfree DINK, my house is about 1400 sqft and 3 bed, 1.5 bath. I’m not even sure what we’d do with more space. Do you have rooms dedicated to hobbies or something? Is it really cluttered? I routinely think ‘wow this is a lot of house’ and my house is smaller than yours.

      1. ETA: my house is also well over 100 years old so I’m well aware of the quirks and layout challenges.

      2. Not OP, but my husband is a musician, and takes up the entire basement with his instruments and recording space. Everything you’d normally store in a basement has to go elsewhere, since we can’t be down there slinging storage boxes near delicate equipment. We definitely use more real estate than the average bear.

    5. Anecdata, everyone I know who has done a major remodel has ended up moving within a handful of years of completing the project. They went into the project with the intention of making their house a “forever” type home, instead of moving, and I’ve yet to see that actually pan out.

      1. More anecdata – not sure it counts as major, but back in 1981 my parents opened the kitchen that is at the back of their house and added a large family room with dining area and full bathroom, and also a full basement under it. They’re still in the house.

        Going from one full bath + a kind of creepy one with a decrepit shower stall in the basement to two full proper baths was pretty game-changing for my family of 5 back in the day.

      2. More anecdata – my parents have been in their house since 1994 and have done two major remodels, in 2001 and 2015, and are only just now seriously (ish) looking at moving, because they don’t need that much house anymore.

      3. I added an addition to my forever home and like it just fine. I do plan to be here forever, or at least until I’m too infirm to maintain it anymore.

    6. 1600sf is not that small, but construction costs are like 50% more than normal right now, so I personally would wait a year or two before considering anything major.

      In the meantime, perhaps you just have too much stuff? We are DINKs too and live happily in 1200 sf, actually have one room that’s totally unused and empty…

      1. Yeah, I have a kid in 1100 square feet and it’s totally fine. We have decently smart storage and avoid accumulating too much stuff.

      2. Y’all are right, it is not the size of the house but the layout… like we have a very tiny bathroom and no scope to expand without addition, as it is a >100 year old house. Same about basic area for say even keeping my exercise stuff or clothes/closet. I guess I have been seeing friends in perfectly laid out new builds, amazing bathrooms, walk-in-closets etc that makes me think I’d be much happier/organized in something like that. I was decidedly against cookie-cutter houses and wanted “character” when we were searching… buyers remorse?

        1. So we are also in a 100+ year old house (city rowhouse) and yeah, the bathrooms are tight, but are there smaller things you could do? We recently swapped out pedestal sinks (elegant but zero storage) for real vanities, which has been a big upgrade.

        2. I hear you. I was on the “I want character” bandwagon for a very long time. It was DH who finally talked some sense into me and helped me understand that character comes with a lot of undesirable qualities for someone who prefers neatness, organization, and room to spread out.

          1. Ugh, this is the debate I keep having with my husband. He wants “character,” I want cleanliness and organization.

          2. Hmm in terms of organization, I feel like my old house has way better organization that most of the newer construction houses I’ve visited. I have a full pantry (it’s giant) and a butler’s pantry between the kitchen and the dining room. In the dining room, I have a built in china cabinet. Honestly, I don’t really need kitchen cabinets, though I have them.

            I have a full linen closet upstairs that is also huge, and both a small unfinished basement and a giant semi-finished attic.

            When we look at newer houses, particularly those with an “open” design, my husband and I look at each other and ask “where would we put all our stuff?” There seems to be no built in organization at all, other than huge clothes closets compared to mine.

        3. I have a 1909 house and recognize the envy when I see friends’ new houses with walk in closets and spa bathrooms. But I love my old house (I must, because otherwise the amount of money I’ve put into it seems insane) and there are so many pluses as well that I forget about during my closet envy moments.

          If you don’t like your house, though, and think you made a mistake, by all means move to a house that suits you better! Someone will be psyched to have your large backyard and real estate is still hot so I’m sure you’d do well selling it.

        4. It doesn’t sound like a reno is going to address your issues. The market is insane right now so you won’t end up losing money on your original puchase — what about just sell and buy a new house?

        5. We bought a 1980s modular home. So basically no charm or character but the layout works really well, and we have made it our own with our art, bold rugs, and more wild landscaping. I would never have sought this out but now really recommend it!

    7. Talk to a realtor as part of your due diligence. What percentage of an addition would you get back? It might be worthwhile to wait a year or so if you can as material costs come down a bit.

    8. Hgtv is a lie. Home reno is easily 4-10x what they show on TV. A bathroom guy reno is $40k++ and that’s without an addition.

      We did an addition that ran over $300k (it was big).

      You will honestly be better off moving, but if you do renovate, this year is going to be way $$ than normal (and it’s normally $$).

    9. It is true, if you do construction now it will expensive and will probably take some time for you to gain the value back into the house. It may be worth moving if you don’t otherwise love your house or location – the extra 200k or whatever it costs will buy you that much more house. But I suppose that depends very much on where you live. and fwiw, I think 1600 sq ft can seem small if it’s not arranged well.

    10. As someone with a very hilly yard in my midforties: move. It only gets harder to care for as your body ages. I’ve fallen multiple times on snow and ice and injured my back badly, my husband has tipped the mower several times. Just get out.

    11. Is the addition to add more rooms or to make existing rooms bigger? If you are just adding more small rooms, the house will still feel small and you’ll eventually want to move.

    12. What do you need the bathroom(s) for? Not being weird, but are you looking for something nice for a guest half-bath, a place to be smelly in private with 2 people working at home, a place to relax with a glass of wine? Just an upgraded shower with those nice steam things? More storage? Really consider this part! I am 1.5 incomes + 3too many kids and with 3.5 bathrooms, the kids keep using our primary bathroom for the nice garden tub + toilet closet. I finally took a look at their bathroom and realized …. it looks horrible! We are working on decorating it this summer/fall with goal of getting early-adolescent son to enjoy his *own* shower more, not ours! Paint on the walls, upgraded shower rod, new light fixtures…. hopefully a few small things will make a big difference. Also compare to your neighbors (via Zillow or local realtors) what are the must-have features for houses in your neighborhood? What is Too Much (a family I know had The Best House in their neighborhood , with pool + outdoor kitchen + fabulous deck + studio apartment with separate entrance + hot tub ++++….. and no one buys into the neighborhood for features like that so they lost a ton of $ on resale) and what is needed/wanted? What is a small step (say, a deck) that can be upgraded later (to a screened-in porch) or even again later (to a 4-walled sunroom or similar)? You have a lot of options!

      1. I’m sure your son is a lovely person but the thought of an actual child not thinking his OWN BATHROOM isn’t decorated nice enough for him to use so so wildly hilarious

        1. Right? OMG THE VERY IDEA of a kid using the parents’ bathroom… When I was a kid that would have been completely unthinkable!

    13. If the bathroom is your main issue, consider working with a designer and getting a quote for what it will cost to remodel. Think about what the biggest issues with the bathroom are and what isn’t working for you in the bathroom – not enough plugs (or the plugs aren’t in good locations)? not enough counterspace (which really is you need more storage for your stuff not on the counter), tub not deep enough for a good bath? With a well designed bathroom, the size doesn’t matter as much. Poor design, like the plug being too far away from the mirror makes even a waste-of-square feet bathroom not right.

    14. Is there any space you can steal for your bathroom? We took part of the closet in an adjacent bedroom and remodeled to have enough room for a tub and it was major. The small closet did not impact resale. Also, can you free up floor space in other rooms by adding storage and putting things away? We have a storage bench in the entryway that holds most of the mudroom type stuff like hats, gloves, etc.

    15. Personally, I wouldn’t do an addition. If we want a bigger house I will likely just move.

      Anecdotally, I see a lot of houses on the market that have additions done fairly recently. It seems like eventually people just want the space more efficiently laid out than any addition can do. I have also seen many houses on the market with “city approved plans for addition included, including blueprints from architect”. So, clearly people who have planned it out and though nah, I’ll just move. I have seen some nice additions for sure, where the master is expanded and it adds a master bath, plus an extended kitchen and living area around the back, but many of them are just adding a box to the back of the house, and it doesn’t feel cohesive. We bought a smaller house that is newer construction so that it had the features I wanted (master bath, bigger closets, closet by front door!). I’m adding mouldings to give it character, that was my compromise.

      In the meantime, suggestions to swap out pedestal sinks is a good idea, try to extend the counterspace a bit. I know there are two camps of people- those who are like ‘i spend 5 minutes a day in my bathroom who cares” and people like me who really like it to feel like a sanctuary when you shower, counter space to put your stuff down (and neatly put away in drawers). Don’t feel bad if you’re in the latter category.

      1. It’s worth consulting an architect to see if you can have your existing space work better for you. Yes, it’s still expensive to renovate, but far less expensive than an addition and will feel more cohesive if you do everything inside at once. A friend took her Cape Cod with small rooms and they took down all the walls and then put a few back up, so it still has rooms (not an open plan) but works so much better for her life. One of her driving forces is she wanted a large steam shower and an ensuite master, too.

    16. I wouldn’t necessarily jump to addition here, rather than a partial interior renovation. We are DINKS in a 1400ish sq ft house – both bathrooms are NOT GOOD, but the real issue is that when the house was built in the 1950’s they squeezed 4 bedrooms + 2 large storage rooms + 2 living spaces + dining room + another kitchenette into the 1400 sq ft. As you can imagine, each room is pretty small and there isn’t much closet space in the actual bedrooms. We dream of keeping the same footprint and moving walls to create a space that works more for our lifestyle. While the reno wouldn’t be cheap, the real hit would be to property value, as more rooms = more $$$. If we end up staying put here long enough, we may just do it anyways, as there aren’t a lot of houses in my optimized for a family of 2.

    18. Hi there, since the bathroom space and getting ready in the morning seems to be a rub:

      I paid a plumber to route plumbing to a wall in the master bedroom. Then I installed a nice sink vanity, lit mirror, and shelving all around – this all happened in an alcove so it made visual sense and turned an awkward area into a *great* place for me to get ready in the morning, near my closet/dresser, etc., while partner is taking his time in the bath to shower and shave.

      Could you do something similar?

      1. Along a similar line – I use the half bathroom on the main floor as my main bathroom. It’s where I have my makeup/hair stuff. A well organized vanity means everything tucks away easily and so easy to retouch anything before leaving the house (in before times). I shower, dress and then finish hair/makeup downstairs before going out the door.

  3. We’re a couple moving from Western Europe to Washington, DC this autumn. My spouse is working for an international organisation and I will continue with my current job remotely for at least six months. We don’t have kids or pets. We’ve been living in Western Europe for 10+ years, also as expats. Any advice regading the reallocation process?

    We didn’t qualify for a reallocation package, so we have to arrange the move ourselves. Current plan is to get some space in a container. We will take 2-4 pieces of nice furniture and 20-30 moving boxes with clothes, selected books, important memorabilia, decoratons and collections (a painting made by a friend, quality board games) as well as some household goods. That’s a rough plan, but details are daunting. We have some nice, yet not top of the line cookware and dinnerware, great coffee machine, nice ironing board. It seems silly to bring them, but also silly to get rid of them. What do we do? Would it be easy to buy an upright city bike or should I bring one with me?

    We’ve been in between two continents since the beginning of 2020. Just before the pandemic my husband moved to the US with two large suitcases. He bought a small amount of affordable basics for the house, mainly cheaper stuff from Ikea. They are currently in a storage space. Because of lockdowns and travel restrictions, I’ve never even been to the US. There is also a small chance that we will move back to Europe after a year or two.

    We already have an American bank account and credit cards. I am slowly starting to network and apply for jobs. I’ve been reading this forum for years, so I have at least some idea on issues such as tipping culture or 401k, but I am probably not aware of many, many more.

    I am aware that my question is very broad. Any opinions on moving to the States, as well as starting a life there?

    1. Welcome! If you think you might only stay for a year or two (what is “small?) I might not bring very much stuff (maybe you can store in Europe and deal with it in a year if you want?) There so many people moving in and out of DC, it’s relatively easy to get used household things or furniture. If it were me I would ditch a lot of the household stuff rather than dealing with it, but that costs money of course.

    2. Re: household goods. An ironing board is quite bulky but even a nice ironing board is $100. That gets sold. Coffee makers are relatively compact and the question is whether it’s a $50 coffee maker or a $500 coffee maker; I would probably pack it if it’s more than $200 to replace. Plates would be nice to have but are fragile and a PITA to pack.

      Small, expensive stuff gets shipped. Bigger, less expensive stuff gets given away or sold. Start on each end and move towards the middle as you decide.

      Yes, you can buy an upright city bike in America. You can buy pretty much anything here.

      1. My ironing board was less than $40 at Target. Unless yours is a family heirloom, give to a young person just starting out where you are, and move on, so to speak.

        Good advice on the bulky vs. price 2 x 2 matrix.

    3. Unless you’re emotionally attached to the general homewares stuff, I’d look at selling it (is Facebook marketplace a thing where you are?) or giving it away. Especially anything electrical – the US system has a different voltage. Even if you only sell those things for token amounts, that plus saving the cost of moving should be enough to cover some of the cost of replacement.

      1. Agree. I just did the opposite move from the US to UK last month, and brought very little (4 large and 2 small suitcases, 4 other boxes of stuff). In case you haven’t looked into it in detail, moving things, including getting space in a shipping container, is EXPENSIVE. I had a small shipping allowance from my company and only brought what that would fit. Don’t bring anything electrical, as it won’t work well with transformers–my rule of thumb was if it has a power cord and wasn’t a laptop or cell phone, I wasn’t bringing it. Housewares should be sold and repurchased when you get here, unless it’s something particularly expensive or irreplaceable. I brought my Le Creuset dutch oven because it was too expensive to replace, and a few cooking tools I absolutely loved, but otherwise, everything was easily replaceable. I brought my desk chair which was $$$$ and necessary for my back pain but left all other furniture.

        1. Also as something to look into before you move: how the US health insurance market works. Presumably you will get insurance through your spouse’s employer, but understanding how deductibles, copayments (both for doctors and prescriptions), max out-of-pocket, etc. work will be important. Also look up and try to understand the different types of plans–PPO, EPO, HMO, etc.–as many employers will offer options and there are definite pros and cons to each.

    4. I took a bunch more household items than most people, for what was planned to be a 2 year stay. I shipped 5 moving boxes with the regular mail and they contained board games, but also boring stuff like scissors and a sewing kit. Given the cost of shipping, I could have replaced most of them, but I liked not having to run around for them and I liked having my familiar stuff around me while navigating a new environment. Keep in mind that board games either should be in English or be playable with only the two of you to make sense.

      1. I fall in this camp more than other posters. Moving is SO insanely stressful, even when it’s something you’re looking forward to, that being able to open a box and find the same old scissors can be a comfort and a sanity-saver.

        1. Totally agree with this — if there is something you really love and don’t think it’s easy to replace in the one big run to Target, ship it if you can to reduce stress,

    5. Welcome! Put up a burner email once you’re here and I bet someone will want to meet up. Don’t bring the ironing board, but assuming it will work OK voltage wise bring the coffee maker. Having a friendly, reliable appliance available for those first few bleary mornings will be comforting. Bring the good cookware if it isn’t crazy heavy. One Le Creuset casserole yes, a whole set no. Yes to knives. Get a bike here once you’re sussed out whether it will really be useful. You may wind up living somewhere that it will be more trouble to have than it’s worth (storage, unsafe riding conditions, too far/hilly from work, etc.).

      1. Definitely double check the coffee maker. The label on the back tells you what voltage range it will work at. Coffee makers are tricky even with a transformer since they contain a power hungry heating element.

        1. Agree. US power is less strong (110V vs 220V and alternating current vs direct). I wouldn’t expect something that draws a ton of power to work as well in the US, even with a transformer.

    6. If your spouse works for an international organization, ask around — there may be internal message boards or ways to get some of what you need secondhand from people returning to their home countries. We’ve bought a few pieces of furniture off Craigslist from World Bank staff who just needed it gone, ASAP, before they left for good. For electrics, consider whether you need to worry about converters for your outlets or if you should just get something new when you get here. And welcome!

      1. +1 to asking around for internal message boards. I know that the World Bank has some and IMF staff have access to them as well.

    7. As someone who did an international move (albeit not Europe to US), I think you should either move almost everything you own that isn’t worth literally throwing away, or move only the most important/sentimental things and rebuy everything else. By the time you arrange a container, go through all the hassle, the importation, etc. the marginal cost of adding another 20 boxes of things or 10 pieces of furniture is pretty small in comparison to the cost and effort of reacquiring in America. All or nothing, all or nothing…

    8. DC is a great place for you to move to! It has a large expat community. You should visit Rodman’s DC location on Wisconsin Avenue; it carries a large selection of international food items from Europe, including seasonal/holiday treats that you may miss. Other plusses to DC: the public transportation is very good (wmata.com) and the Smithsonian museums are all free to the public.

      But on a more serious note, consult with a tax attorney about whether you can work remotely for a foreign company while here and which countries you will owe tax to. That arrangement has many pitfalls, and is far more critical to your financial situation than whether or not you ship your household items over.

      1. Aside from my friends, Rodmans is what I miss most about my old DC neighborhood! Thank you for bringing a smile to my face today! We used to have to remember which 1 way streets to take to get to the parking lot….Garrison to groceries, Harrison to home!

    9. Keep the upright city bike! Especially if you love it. (Good) bikes are expensive, and the culture of upright city bikes is still very much catching up here compared to Europe. Although depending on where you live in DC, you may find that the hills are too much for a truly upright bike. If that happens, you can sell it here for a decent amount and use the proceeds towards a new bike.

    10. Welcome to DC! So many topics to cover, and others have addressed the household goods aspect.

      Keep in mind that there are A LOT of expats and foreigners from all countries living in the DC area. I’m not sure your country of origin or your ethnic or religious identity, but know that it exists here and you can certainly get involved in that community if you want to and meet other people. They may also have resources to help with the transition.

      As another poster said, make sure to read up on the healthcare system and all of its acronyms. If there’s anything you don’t understand about your health insurance (or your husband’s, if you’ll be using his), don’t be afraid to ask the benefits person at your company or his org for more info. Just say that you’re new to the US healthcare system and need some more details on how it works. You can also ask here! But generally speaking, you will want to establish yourself with a primary care doctor, probably an OBGYN, a dentist, and any other specialists relevant to you (eye doctor, dermatologist, etc.). Doctor’s offices also usually have people who are knowledgeable about how your insurance and billing will work, so you can ask them any questions too.

      One thing that may be a bit of a culture shock is the food. The Standard American Diet is indeed quite SAD. Our grocery stores are full of convenience foods that are really not good for you, and most restaurants will feed you far more than a normal meal. I know that this exists in European countries too, but America takes it to the next level. The good thing is that DC also has a lot of specialty grocery stores catering to all kinds of worldwide foods, and you really can find pretty much any product here that you might be used to using at home (spices, packaged goods, etc.). Google will be your friend here, as well as any affinity group.

      Also, driving in the district and some suburbs can be a nightmare. If you or your husband will be driving at all, be prepared to take some wrong turns now and then or accidentally wind up on the other side of the river.

    11. Hello! American from DC living in Western Europe here.
      RE moving: I had a great moving experience with the company AGS Froesch (German). 1 studio = 2300 euro, for a price comparison, and they took care of all the duties/fees/paperwork. I recommend insuring your things based on weight, not itemized – it is a lot cheaper with entry duties into the US. As you wrote you might not stay forever, it’s of course also possible to put your things in storage in Europe. It’s possible to furnish an apt inexpensively in the US – look at department stores like Macy’s, IKEA, World Market, Pier 1, Crate & Barrel/CB2/West Elm. Your extra small things (ironing board) likely won’t make a difference in costs to add them in to what you’re already moving.
      I would say, find a good accountant to take care of your annual taxes, that is always a headache in the US, don’t go to H&R Block or the like but pay someone you find (get a recommendation – this board may have some for DC area).
      Be aware that tax is localized, the prices you see in stores depend on state/county/city taxes so they change based on where you are and it’s calculated when you checkout.
      Get a US drivers license if you drive and insurance (or get extra insurance if you rent a car)
      Be aware that you should try to see a doctor ‘in network’, ie, that your insurance company already contracts with
      Give yourself time to adjust, I’ve lived in like 5 countries and it always takes a full year to adjust to living somewhere new, sometimes longer to get used to the unspoken cultural cues or local administrative quirks

    12. DC resident who fully endorsed the “don’t bring furniture” approach. It’s easy and cheap to furnish a place here, particularly if it’s short term.

      Don’t bring a hair dryer, buy one new.

      If you like the downtown Western European city vibe, definitely post here and ask about DC neighborhoods for apartment/house hunting.

    13. All of these recommendations have been great. I would add looking into your DC neighborhood’s Buy Nothing group on Facebook. A few of them are pretty active in DC.

  4. My teenage daughter is going to have a distinguishing feature (a large facial mole) removed at her request. The scar will be noticeable for awhile. When people ask me about it in front of her, what should I say so that she feels okay about the scar and people are supportive? I am sensitive to this because she has had pretty low confidence/self-esteem and I think it’s because of the mole.

    1. Why would people ask you about your daughter’s face in front of her? Anyway, depending on temperament, you could go with either the old “why do you ask?” to point out that someone is being nosy, or a breezy “oh I had a problematic mole removed, the scar should heal up over time” if willing to discuss.

        2. Oh, we thought a unique sport like jousting would make her stand out in the college application process. So competitive these days.

    2. Ask her what she would like you to say! I feel like most adults wouldn’t ask the parent if the teen were in earshot. If she’s okay with it, you could let close family or friends know beforehand that she’s self-conscious about it and doesn’t want to talk about it.

      1. I also would do this stealthily if I could. Poor kid probably doesn’t want any additional attention drawn to the change.

    3. Simple. It’s cosmetic surgery. People do it all the time. Rosa had a mole on the side of her nose; she didn’t like it so she had it removed. She was pretty before, but much prettier afterward. She wound up marrying Ed and has 4 kids, so Ed liked it. She will be happy for doing it, as not all moles are safe. Even Marilyn Monroe had a pretty mole on her face and she wound up dying at age 36 I think. No one wants that.

    4. I’m sorry people are rude to your daughter. I’d go with a “why do you ask” in a flat tone. Hopefully at that point they’ll shut up but dang people are clueless.

      1. YES, this is the right approach! I like that it models that we don’t owe people answers to personal questions just because they ask.

      1. +1. If they’re rude enough to ask about someone’s appearance, they need the rudeness spelled out. A “why do you ask” is only going to prolong the conversation, but “we don’t talk about people’s appearances” shuts it down nicely, ensures they know it’s rude, and also models that asking a question doesn’t entitle you to an answer.

    7. Are you the same mom who was worried about her twin’s reaction to having the mole removed? You seem deeply opposed to your daughter’s decision to have her mole removed for some reason. As the fellow mom of a teenage girl, I strongly advise you to support her choice and not to signal your misgivings to her.

      1. Yeah this is past weird at this point. I hope you aren’t making your kid aware of how obsessive you’re being about a minor skin issue.

    8. Maybe something like “Oh yes, her dermatologist recommended we take care of that mole” or “we finally had time to see a dermatologist and take care of some stuff”.

    10. This does not address your question. But please make sure your daughter knows how important sunscreen and staying out of the sun are to reduce the scar’s appearance. To the extent she is able, I would cover the spot with a band-aid or wear a hat or something (including wait until winter for removal) to reduce sun exposure and improve the results.

    11. When I was growing up, a girl in my class had a large mole (very dark and about the size of a nickel) removed. Her mother was a teacher at school, and they were both very matter of fact about it: “We decided to remove Name’s mole.” The end. Because clearly going through life with a large mole on one’s face is difficult. No further explanation needed.

    12. “The important thing is my country is safe and the mission was at no point compromised.”

    13. I had a mole removed from above my eye as a teenager, and when asked about the healing/scarring (which was extremely minimal), I just casually responded that I had a mole removed and it was healing nicely, then changed the subject. This should not be a big deal or a conversation with any level of excitement that should make anyone feel like they need to follow up, so don’t make it one.

      That being said, I also had one removed from the side of my neck in my early 20s, and that healing process resembled a hickey, so that lent itself to some good natured joking around that you’d expect in college. Again, just laughed and said it was a mole that got removed and it was healing.

      1. PS: since you are mentioning she feels self-conscious and it is probably because of the mole, I will note that the healing/scarring was FAR smaller and less noticeable than the actual mole was once it was removed. It was a little red, but it did not stick out of my face the way the mole did, so it is possible people’s comments will be less than you’d expect.

        1. I agree. I posted separately but when I had my mole removed, I had to wear a small bandaid on my face for a while. People did ask about it but I just explained what it was. And then after it healed a bit, I used makeup to cover up the scar. I am sure that she is already used to people making comments about her mole and she will undoubtedly get comments while she is healing. Just try not to make a big deal about it. She will be fine and so happy to have the mole removed, it will be worth it! If she needs help with makeup afterwards to hide the scar, maybe take her to a make up counter or get a few products to experiment at home with.

    14. I had a large noticeable mole on my face removed around that age. It definitely helped my self esteem and I was so self conscious about it before it was removed. People will make comments – what happened to your mole etc. She will just have to deal with answering them. I think I just said I had it removed. I much preferred answering those questions than having it so I think it is a small price to pay. Before it was removed, I used dermablend cover stick and cover girl powder to try to cover it. Good luck to your daughter!

    15. For some reason the word “mole” wigs me out, so when I was her age I said I “had to have something taken care of.” But as an adult, I wouldn’t answer a question of this kind since it would seem so rude that someone asked it!

          2. I cannot believe I missed this chem humor real time but I am so glad I came back for it!

    16. This is not an answer to your question but one of my 50 something friends has a large-ish scar on her upper lip where there once was a mole. She says her parents took her to have it removed when she was a child, and then as it was healing she obsessively picked at the scab every time one formed.

      Hopefully healing techniques are better now! But just as a word of caution, I guess, make sure your kid isn’t doing that!!

  5. A word of warning: pandemic’s not over yet. I’m on the verge of canceling my vacation in a neighboring state because the area we’re traveling to has turned into a hot spot over the last month, with the Delta variant being the chief concern. We would be traveling with four unvaccinated kids under age 12, and the risk does not seem worth it. I am upset and beyond disappointed that we’re here, again. I’ve been happily living in my vaccinated bubble and going about normal life again, but just be very aware of the conditions wherever you might be traveling. This particular area has low vaccination rates, despite being a tourist destination with lots of outdoor activities, and hospitals are getting overloaded.

    1. Oh I am so sorry! I’m in the UK and we’re expecting 50,000 cases a day by this time next week. People are generally ok and deaths are low (really really high vaccine uptake among age groups which are fully vaccinated) but it feels like the government has largely forgotten the big chunk of 18-39 year olds and children who aren’t fully vaccinated. I was hoping to start getting back to things now that I’m nearly 2 weeks out from my second vaccine, but I’m immunocompromised and have a preschooler so am being cautious for longer.

        1. Rollout by age, everyone should be offered their first shot by next week, but there is an 8 week gap between shots. Uptake is 95%+ in the upper aged groups so it isn’t like the US where people declined vaccination, freeing up spots for younger people.

          1. Actually most older people did get their shots. We just bought a lot more than the UK

          2. Almost 90% of people 65+ in the US got the vaccine. The people in the US who are declining shots are mostly under 50 and especially under 30.

    2. You are smart to cancel with 4 kids. Once they’re vaccinated, fine, but now is not the time to take a chance. They can stay home and play X-Box. Rosa is doing this with her kids, tho she may let me take 2 kids out to my place in the Hamtons for a weekend in August, as there is low infections in NY State, and the kids like to go in the Ocean.

      I recommend you follow the local trends and then advocate to get your kids vaccinated in whatever state you live in. Hopefully you live in a progressive state, not the dumb ones that disavow vaccinations. I recommend Pfizer or Moderna for the kids when they’re 12.

    3. Is there another place you could go with higher vaccination rates? I don’t blame you for not wanting to travel with unvaccinated kids. I have no kids and am fully vaccinated, but I still wouldn’t go to places like Missouri, Florida, or Texas, or basically any place where it looks like the hospitals are starting to get overwhelmed because of the low vaccination rates.

      1. I would love to go somewhere else and will be looking into options, but at this late date, finding accommodations will be an issue. The place we were supposed to travel is one of the states on your list. :/

        1. Come to Boston! Things are lovely here (but not today. It’s pouring). Or Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island. Lots of hiking, beaches, high vax rates and compliance with masks as needed.

        2. Bummer. Well, if you can’t go, I hope you can do something along the lines of a fun staycation – lots of take out and junk food? Visit a local pool or body of water? And then hire a cleaning service to come in and clean the house after your staycation so it’s sort of like being in a rental place.

        3. We’re going to Maine in a couple weeks with our 3 year old. High vax uptake there, plus we’ll only be doing outdoors stuff and staying with (vaccinated) family. I’m nervous about the flight but it is short enough that we will be able to leave our masks on the whole time and I bought us KN95s.

          But I hear you on the “how are we here again?” I feel like by the time they finally have vaccines for my 3 year old, there will be variants that much more significantly evade the vaccines, so the adults will again be at risk, and then they’ll develop an adult vaccine for Sigma or whatever it’s called, but we won’t have a kid vaccine for that one and on and on in a never-ending cycle. I’m very jealous of everyone who at least got a little glimpse of normal life the last few months because those of us with kids never did.

      2. Obviously for a trip that has to be cancelled, OP was probably focusing on some place where there will be some crowding (e.g. Disney). But generally, I do think I think it also depends where – rural areas vs. city. For Harris County, TX is the largest county in the state and has a 50% fully vaccinated population, with 60% at 1 shot.

        https://covid-harriscounty.hub.arcgis.com/pages/vaccine-info

    4. I worry about things heating up just when schools are trying to go back more normally and when a lot of employers have decided that in-office expectations return to normalish in September. To be clear, I trust vaccines and I’m glad that my area (Chicago suburbs) is relatively well vaccinated for 12+ people (and I also trust that my vaccinated friends and family and I will likely have a mild version of COVID if we’re infected), but I have elementary school kids who are not vaccine eligible yet and worry that schools could be closed to protect them. My kids will be poked as soon as the EUA is approved for Pfizer, hopefully Sept./Oct., but we’re seeing about 50% vaccination rate among 12-15 year olds now and I’m not sure that uptake will be any better with the 5-11 year old population.
      My area has generally fared relatively well, but just in the past week or two we’ve seen a rapid increase in statewide case numbers largely from the areas bordering Missouri, which has become a Delta hotspot.

      1. What worries me is that business and leisure travel to hotspots (looking at you, colleagues who are trying to schedule a conference in Missouri) is going to spark an outbreak in our state, which is currently doing well. Or that I’ll get pushback for refusing to travel to that conference in Missouri.

      2. I can’t imagine schools would be closed just to protect kids, who almost never get seriously ill, and especially not once a vaccine is available to kids. I think in blue states at most they’ll require masks for the unvaccinated (which is NBD, in my view) and in red states they’ll ignore Covid in schools, as they have been. My local school district (a blue dot in a very red state) is still requiring masks for unvaxxed students and staff in K-6 since kids in those grades can’t get the vaccine. But masks are optional in 7-12, so they are applying the “precautions can go away once anyone who wants to get vaxxed can get vaxxed” rule to the schools. As far as I know we’re the only school district in the state with any kind of mask requirement at all. I would not worry about your kids not having school.

    5. After all the discussions we have had on this board, do you really think we don’t understand the risks of the pandemic?

      1. Yes, those discussions are what make me think people don’t understand the risk.

        1. Not sure what you read on this board, but I have generally seen a lot of smart people who are armed with a lot of information about covid . Maybe people make different risk calculations, but that doesn’t mean they are ignorant. It’s just exhausting. And yes, I will scroll through but I’m just pointing out that we all pretty much understand what’s going on. This doom and gloom ‘reminder’ is not necessary.

          1. +1

            I have to wonder what psychological benefit people are getting out of virtually scolding strangers over things that no one said. No one said it was over.

          2. I think it was just yesterday that someone over on the moms’ page said it was over.

          3. No. On the mom’s page someone said we aren’t in the middle. Which is correct.

      2. I’ll admit this was partly a vent, but also? Lots of people are making travel plans, and I think it’s worth remembering that we are not out of this yet. A lot of people living in vaccinated bubbles (myself included).

        1. I don’t think we really needed a reminder that “we’re not out of this yet.” If anyone’s unclear about that, all they need to do is read the news. I understand why you’re upset and disappointed about having to change your plans, but this frankly feels like kind of an anxiety purse-dump onto the rest of us. Please bear in mind that while there are lots of people here with kids under 12, like you, there are lots of people who don’t have kids or are like me and have a vaccinated kid. Your problems aren’t everyone else’s problems. If you want empathy, ask for empathy rather than trying to foment anxiety so you don’t feel lonely in your own.

          5. I’m not OP or the eff you poster but I did read your response as “I don’t give a crap about your kid” which I thought was aggressively rude.

            Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, 10:20.

          6. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it, 10:20.”
            LOL. I’m not pressed about the “eff you” comment, but you certainly seem to be over an argument that apparently doesn’t even involve you? What’s that about?

      4. Actually, I’m not sure the risks of the Delta variant on vaccinated adults is that well understood yet. A lot of people are 100% done with precautions now that they’re vaxxed and I personally and unsure if that’s appropriate as the variant rages and Pfizer is developing a booster. Reasonable people may disagree, but if a booster is needed I think some precautions may be warranted.

        1. Actually, you’re wrong. A lot is understood on this, and the news is that Pfizer and Moderns work and Pfizer’s booster is not intended or necessary for fully vaccinated adults without special considerations.

          1. +1 There are a lot of ‘PSAs’ on this topic from people who don’t know what they’re talking about.

        2. My brother, who’s high-risk due to severe asthma and has been fully vaccinated since March, tested positive for Covid this week. He doesn’t know if he got the Delta variant (although the person who called with his results told him it’s likely). He had two days of flu-like symptoms, and then has a little lingering fatigue. That was a good reminder to me that “the virus is still out there” but was also a good reminder that vaccines work, because without being vaccinated my brother would likely have ended up in the hospital. The virus is here now and we likely won’t return to a situation where there’s “no risk” from it for years, if ever. I would love to get to a place where there’s no risk, anywhere, ever but it’s just not going to happen, at least any time soon. Everyone’s going to have to figure out for themselves what level of risk they’re willing to accept, and as we’ve seen here, for some people the risk tolerance is very, very low. Which is fine for them, but it doesn’t mean the rest of us are on that same page.

        3. +1. I know an ICU nurse who says their Covid ward is now only about 60/40 unvaxxed/vaxxed. This is in a relatively high vax area (~70% of adults with one dose), so vaccinated adults are definitely under-represented in the ICU, but it’s not as stark as you would expect and the number of fully vaccinated adults who get hospitalized and die is not going to stay near zero. She said the ratio was more like 90/10 until Delta hit a few weeks ago. This variant is really different than the other ones we’ve seen.

          1. Those stats do not all line up with what is being reported by hospitals and other public health agencies.

          2. Yeah, I’ve recently read figures where from 95% to 99.5% of hospitalized COVID patients are unvaccinated. Let’s please stick to official sources and not anecdotes.

          3. That’s interesting because my sister is an ICU physician and told me that all of the Covid patients in the ICU are unvaccinated at this point. Again, here is misinformation but it skews to overcaution.

          4. Yep, my daughter is an ICU RN at University of Washington hospital and 100% of their covid patients from the last 2-3 months were all unvaccinated.

  6. What is the environmental impact of the two upcoming space travels by Branson and Bazos? My understanding is that just a single trans-Atlantic flight leaves an enormous environmental footprint. How many times of that is a single space trip?

    1. LOL, what even is this question? Do you think that somehow if someone points out the “environmental impact” of their trips to Branson and Bezos, they’re going to forget about the hundreds of millions of dollars they’ve poured into space travel development and be like “OH SO SORRY, we didn’t realize it had an environmental impact! We’ll cancel the trips, sorry.” Since when do egotistical billionaires ever care about how their actions affect the planet? Since when do egotistical billionaires ever listen to public opinion and change their individual actions? Especially the two involved in this ego exercise. Bezos in particular has zero Fs to give about what anyone has to say about what he does.

      1. This. Although I saw an excellent twitter thread from a NASA employee describing how miserable space travel actually is. The thought of Jeff and Elon being constipated in space, eating terrible food and having to actually do work to fix things so they don’t die in space is hugely entertaining to me. If only they could bring Donald along with them…

        1. Vanity Fair had a great article: “Mackenzie Scott Donates Another $2.74 Billion as Ex Jeff Bezos Blasts off in Rocket Phallus.” That’s all it is, a giant phallus-measuring contest. Any advances for humanity that result as a result of their “research” into space travel will likely be accidental. Agree with those who hope some of these folks go to space and stay there. Given that Bezos’ spaceship has never actually carried humans to space and returned, thus far, it’s a non-zero risk for him in particular.

    2. I’m sure the carbon footprint is massive, but if the flights are one-way, it may be a net gain.

    3. IDK, but I kinda wish all these billionaires with space aspirations would just stay there. We’ll carry on just fine without them.

  7. Hi, I have LOVED my Passion Planner this past 2021. However I realize I am being picky but does anyone know of a similar (personal, not nec. work) Planner that is high-quality SPIRAL bound? Just thought I’d ask all your “overachievers” or, if you’re like me, an aspiring overachiever! Thanks

    1. I am a big fan of Inkwell Press. I also want spiral bound, and they offer a planner system that lays completely flat.

    2. I use Plum Planner. Nicely spiral bound and easily customizable. My biggest complaint is that it’s a 12 month planner and I wish I could get it in a 6 month option instead. But otherwise, it feels high quality and I’ve been pleased for the past two years with it.

    3. I adore my Lily Pulitzer 18+ month planner. I am not a Lily person at work and was really pleased at how useful it was in a year of navigating a significant volunteer commitment, kids’ zoom schooling, a new dog and his shots, car and house stuff, etc. It also has fun stickers in it. My BFF said that the new 2021-2022 ones have come in and will be off to get one the next time I am at our mall (which has a LP store; I think they sell online also).

    5. I am a big fan of the Bloom Vision planner. It is spiral bound….their website shows samples of all the pages so you can see if it is what you like.

    6. Not spiral, but with the ability to move pages around, I cannot recommend Circa (Levenger) or the less expensive ARC (Staples) disc bound planners. I used a bound planner this year because someone I idolize on social media recommended it, and I am going back to Circa next year.

    9. Option – You can probably get a binding cut off and rebound as spiral at a good office supply store

  8. Low stakes Q: is there anything inappropriate, misleading, or offensive about sporting rainbow stuff as a cis hetero woman? And does it make a difference what the item is? I’ve always had a thing for rainbows but with pride month ending recently it sort of feels like cultural misappropriation, which I am sensitive about.

    2. My cis hetero 6 and 8 year olds would like you to know they, too, have a firm claim to glitter and rainbows.

    3. Speaking as a queer woman married to a woman: go ahead and wear/display all the rainbows you want. Rainbows aren’t exclusive to queer culture: you’re not taking something that was developed by one culture and claiming it for yourself. (And cishet people flying the Pride flag etc. is a great gesture of solidarity & support).

    4. I think it makes a difference what the rainbow is. If it’s something that’s clearly intended as Pride-related (6 colour rainbow or the new Progress flag), I wouldn’t wear it, but if it’s a more general rainbow then it’s fine.

      1. I don’t agree. If you are an ally, you can wear pride themed things. That is true whether it’s Pride month or a different time of year. It’s fine to have dual intentions – signaling that you thing LGBTQ folks deserve full rights and liking rainbows at the same time.

      2. Why wouldn’t one wear something pride-related? In my mind, it’s at least signaling that you are friendly to that slice of humanity and it’s not negative in July vs OK in June. Or am I missing something? There is also a lot of “generic” rainbow items that I think are sold in June with a wink and a nod, but I’d just keep wearing what you like, winking and nodding (or not, just a rainbow lover).

        Also sort of personally nervous a bit since work is a local pride sponsor and we have crazy amounts of swag left over.

    5. To be honest, if I knew you were a cis hetero woman and saw you sporting rainbow stuff, I might assume it was because you had suffered a pregnancy loss. (This could just be me though because my social media feeds are literally inundated with stuff about “rainbow babies”.)

      1. I loathe rainbow babies. Loath. I mean not the actual babies I’m sure they are cute but the term.

        2. Currently expecting a rainbow baby after three miscarriages and two years of infertility and I love the term!

      2. I don’t think wearing rainbows in memory of “rainbow babies” is a thing, though?

        1. I’ve never seen that. I think at most some mommy websites have people who use that in their signature blocks.

        2. It’s not “in memory of”, it’s about hoping for the rainbow baby (after the rainstorm=miscarriage). Or celebrating the arrival of the rainbow baby.

        3. The rainbow is the baby that was born following miscarriages. I think it is a thing if you’re talking about like wearable keepsakes of your children – the same way they have jewelry with your kids’ birthstones on it.

        4. I really think it might be an anomaly re: a person I know who legit dresses head to toe in rainbow everything and her other children as well because of the term. I guess it’s just brought that front-of-mind for me when I see it.

    7. I’m an ally and happily sport my Pride rainbow handbag all year but especially every single day in June!

    8. My daughter is gay. I wear a rainbow tee shirt to support her. It was not easy for her to come out as a teen.I want to show my support for her and everyone facing negativity and discrimination for just being their true selves. I think (hope) that is different from someone faking a Spanish accent and pretending to be from Spain to get career opportunities for example.

  9. Has anyone used an at-home laser for hair removal that has actually worked? I want laser hair removal but I don’t feel like going to all those appointments.

    1. I just bought Philips Lumea and used it twice, no visible impact yet. I think first reults are visible after 6 months. My friend tried both and said she would put her money to at-office treatment.

    3. Hmm we had a comment/ad for home IPL on yesterday afternoon’s post. Are you planning to reply to your own post with a glowing testimonial?

      1. I saw that she said hers didn’t work well for hair removal, so I was curious if any did. I highly doubt marketers are trying to infiltrate this comments section.

    4. Most at-home products are IPL, not laser. And laser is so much more effective. The only FDA approved laser is Tria, and at that price and numbers of times you have to do it, you come out ahead just going to appointments.

    5. In my experience it only worked for thin sparse hair like my happy trail (97%) and somewhat my underarms (80%). It did very little for my bikini area where hair is coarse and thick (10%). A home session with one of these gadgets would also take too long for larger areas like legs so I had my legs done at the doctor’s office and am very happy with the results (haven’t shaved 5 years running).

    6. I bought the Bella laser from Costco–the one they have on sale every fall/winter. I have very white skin and dark hair, and I used it every other week for six months, November-May. I stopped because I’m now tan enough that my low pain tolerance means I need to take a break until I become ghostlike again in the fall. While I was still lasering, I thought I could see a small difference. During that time, I was shaving every week and thought I saw a decrease. Now that I’ve stopped layering, I am epilating once a week and can definitely see that there’s a difference. Before I started with the laser, I was epilating every week and I was a forest. Now, I’m epilating every week, and there’s just nowhere near as many hairs to catch. It’s definitely not perfect, so we’ll have to see if another six months of lasering over the winter helps more. It definitely worked better on my legs than on my bikini line and armpits. Overall, I’m happy I did it, but it’s definitely a time commitment, as professionals with higher-powered lasers will be able to go much faster.

  10. I’m sorry, short sleeve mock neck tops still remind me of Rachel from Friends. I guess the 90s really are back.

    1. Yep. I was thinking the same thing. But Rachel also wore high waisted jeans, so we’re definitely fully back…

    2. haha I wore so many sleeveless turtlenecks in the early 00s. It’s funny looking at pictures of myself in them now that they are back.

      1. I wore them with suits with shoulder pads and Ally MacBeal skirts and pantyhose to my first law job.

    4. Sleeveless or short sleeved turtlenecks remind me of when fashion tried to make peep toe boots a thing. C’mon. Pick a season!

  11. There was an eye-popping (to me) article in the WSJ today re film school master’s programs (focusing on Columbia). I did not know that these programs were 4-year programs (formerly 5) and as such, could leave you hundreds of thousands of $ in debt (like 300K for one, 200K for another) and maybe likely to make 30K/year after graduating. I do not get this at all — if you want to get into film, don’t you just move to LA (or wherever) and start whereever you get hired and work your way up and network and hustle all you can? And to me, you should be done with any master’s degree in 2 years. Longer seem to me a PhD, but none of that really even seem needed. I took night classes (not in film) at NYU which has a film program and we used to joke how it was all rich trust funders. But it seemed from the article that it was a lot of first-generation kids sold a bill of goods by schools enriching themselves via uncapped graduate loan borrowing. These poor kids — their lives are ruined. [This makes the math of low-ranked law schools almost respectable by comparison.]

    1. I didn’t read the article but had heard about that. I work with some folks in the film business who didn’t go to film school, but as you said, worked their way up through the ranks. They have low opinions of the people who graduate from film school and expect to walk into an associate director or producer job without paying their dues as a production assistant or set decorator, the way my friends did. It looks like film schools have adopted the culinary school model, of charging people hundreds of thousands of dollars for a degree that will net a graduate a $30k (if that) job working in a kitchen.

      I agree it’s predatory but also think that all student debt is caveat emptor; it’s not like we don’t have information about how damaging student debt can be. My son is in high school and is already sick of us talking about how he shouldn’t take on tons of debt to get an education. My all-time favorite story is from (I think) the NYT a few years ago, about a girl from a very middle-income family who took out $140k in loans to get a bachelor’s from NYU with a major in women’s studies and a minor in photography. She was making $40k as a photographer’s assistant, living in NYC and surprise surprise, didn’t have money left after she paid her monthly loan payment and her rent. At some point it does come down to people educating themselves and making informed choices.

      1. I agree, but my impression is that a first-generation kid and a first-generation kid’s parents may not get that until it is too late.

        E.g., a relative of mine is considering going to a Very Bad Law School (too academically generous, dismal bar passage rate, dim employment prospects, very bad reputation). Relative knows my take on this — a Harvard JD’s amount of debt is crushing but repayable if you actually have a Harvard JD; if you have something barely over a diploma mill degree, don’t do it. But kiddo’s mom doesn’t get that there are even bad law schools, much less awful ones, and is very determined to be able to say that her kid is a lawyer. I think kiddo gets it (kiddo works with someone likely a graduate of this law school who has yet to pass the bar), but that’s a lot of headwind against making the right decision. And in the WSJ article, “Columbia” was so dazzling that people thought it would make everything fine (spoiler alert: it didn’t; one kid got an offer to walk the dean’s dogs).

    2. Hot take but I think nearly all masters degrees and a lot of PhD’s are giant scams to make schools a ton of money. No one has been able to sell me on the reason grad school is needed other than for medical professionals and lawyers (and as a lawyer I’m still not sold on the value of law school but understand its a price of admission to the profession). To you specific point re: film, yes, if you want to be a filmmaker you go move to LA and try to get a position as a PA for little pay and it’s a terrible job but you hope you learn and meet people and eventually make your way up.

      1. I think that the program to go from RN to registered nurse anesthetist makes sense as a gatekeeping degree (but one you can actually get a job that pays for the degree pretty quickly).

        And I know a lot of people with a Master’s in Accounting, but IIRC it is generally a 1-year program and often an employer will sponsor it (and maybe pay for it). IDK if it somehow opens gates that a CPA doesn’t already open though (but in mutual funds, I see a lot of people with a Master’s moving up high enough to be in a prospectus / SAI).

        1. At least in NY 150 credit hours is required to sit for the CPA exam now. The easiest way to get the requisite 150 hours is the one year masters program. As a senior audit manager at a public accounting firm and working with new associates it seems that these masters programs are one year of CPA exam prep. Looks like schools did a good job lobbying for this requirement…

      2. As the holder of a master’s degree and a law degree who has a Ph.D. job and works with Ph.D.s and lawyers, I partly agree and partly disagree. Law school is a giant financial scam, and the structure of the legal profession is deeply dysfunctional. Three or four semesters of law school would be plenty, especially if you got rid of the whole unpaid labor scam that is law review. Then instead of paying trainee lawyers $200K while they actually learn how to practice law, we could do what the medical profession does and pay them a reasonable salary during a residency period of on-the-job training.

        In my observation, most Ph.D. dissertations do not contribute much to the development of knowledge and don’t teach the candidate anything other than how to handle massive amounts of stress. The whole TA/RA thing is also a scam to get highly skilled labor at very low salaries. Most master’s degrees provide little more than a “sheepskin effect.” I would replace master’s and Ph.D. programs with a single degree program that was equivalent to Ph.D. coursework, with an option to do a dissertation just for a select few who will go on to pursue an academic career. I’d also require more disclosure of the actual prospects for a tenure-track job for Ph.D. candidates.

        1. I think this does not really apply to PhDs in (most) hard sciences. First, you usually get a tuition waiver and a stipend – small, but you generally can live on it. So most people should not have huge loans. I personally would not enter a PhD program that did not offer these things. And then yes, it’s a while before you are making lots of money, but a PhD is required for many jobs in science, which do exist outside academia.

          I don’t know that most PhD dissertations set the world on fire, but for the sciences, it is a way to learn how to conduct research, how to small exercise data, and how to report it.

          1. In the social sciences it is the same, with the stipend coming from a TA or RA position. The issue is that it is a long, difficult slog to complete the dissertation, which from where I sit is not a terribly useful training tool. Dissertations in my field typically use canned data sets, and 99% of what we actually do in actual research is collecting and wrangling messy data.

          1. PhD programs, I mean. You get a stipend to cover living expenses and your tuition is covered. Funding either comes from grants or the university itself, and sometimes from TAing. I think in the humanities there’s a lot more TAing and a lot less grant money, which is part of why those degrees take a lot longer.

    3. I’m a professor at a state school, not one of the private schools that charges super high tuition, but even here masters programs are cash cows for the university. We’re under a lot of pressure from admin to increase the number of masters students and masters programs, even though it’s not super clear that these programs will actually be useful to students. Ph.D programs are sufficiently resource intensive that this isn’t much of an issue (at least in my STEM field, plus they’re usually funded by TA/RA money so students don’t go into debt, though the oversupply of Ph.Ds is a whole other post…), and undergrads require lots of expensive support, but it’s easy to add a bunch of course only masters programs that are cheap and charge them full tuition with no TA or RA funding. I would be extremely careful about enrolling in a masters program unless you know exactly what you plan to get out of it and the ROI is clear.

    4. I have a master’s degree from an Ivy (not in film) and I think even when I was there (20 years ago) we all knew that it was a cash cow for the university. But of course back then, it wasn’t anywhere near as expensive as it is now. It’s crazy that the schools are able to charge these kinds of tuition rates for those degrees.

    5. I would like to put in a plug for becoming an actuary, which I did and am.

      You graduate with a four year degree in something math related (though not required, and an actuarial science major is also not required), then you study and take exams while you work and earn a salary.

      The exams take 5-10 years to get though, and a lot of people fall out along the way and move into other careers, but when you’re done, you have a fellowship credential and you can demand a fairly high salary without having gone into any debt. And in fact, the people who drop out along the way also tend to land into very nice actuarial-adjacent careers.

      It’s a great way to get a PhD level education that actually pays off.

      1. Not entirely joking: does this work as a second career for someone in their late 30s?

        1. Yes, I’ve seen it work! I’ve also seen it not work for people who don’t like the idea of starting over at square one seniority-wise, so really it’s a personality thing.

    7. I read the article and honestly, I didn’t have a ton of sympathy. These aren’t 17 or 18 year old kids with no experience of higher education – these are graduate students who have all already been through the process of figuring out how to finance their education once (for undergrad). At some point, you have to take responsibility for your financial choices. Nobody is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to go get a master’s degree that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars. It’s not even necessary for many of the jobs they talked about, and where it is necessary (like speech and language pathology), there are cheaper options for getting it. It’s the adult student’s responsibility to consider whether the degree itself is necessary, and then whether the cost of getting it at a fancy school is justified based on expected earnings.

      Signed,
      A person who did not get a master’s in environmental studies because the math didn’t work out

    1. Nextdoor? I found my cleaning person that way. There’s a ton of spam but you can find someone depending on how active your neighborhood is

      1. +1, use nextdoor for this. You don’t even have to post yourself – when I’m looking for someone like a handyman, I just do a search and see what others have posted. This is also how I found my most recent mechanic and he was great.

    3. All of the review websites like Angie’s List seem kind of dead. All the real reviews I’ve seen were on FB. The best thing to do is to join local community FB groups (rather than checking out reviews on their FB page) and search/ask there. Mine is way more active than Nextdoor.

    5. I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I love Thumbtack for finding service providers like that.

  13. Has anyone gotten treatment from an optometrist for dry eyes? I brought it up at my last eye exam, in September, and was told to buy some eye drops and take fish oil. The dryness has gotten progressively worse (like my eyes get so dry at night that it becomes hard to blink). Has anyone here gotten prescription eye drops or other similar treatment, when regular eye drops just aren’t cutting it anymore?

    1. I should add, I scheduled another appointment and am trying to prepare by learning about what options have worked for others and if there’s anything I should specifically ask about/request

    2. I’d go to an opthalmologist. Optometrist training may not be sufficient here.

    3. My optometrist told me to avoid looking at screens, wear sun glasses, ensure I was hydrated, and make sure the humidity in my house/office were acceptable. All those things mostly solved the problem for me. Maybe once or twice a month I’ll need drops but that’s usually my own fault for forgetting my sunglasses or something.

    4. I haven’t but I think it’s worth asking the doctor. You can also try a heated eye mask or a warm washcloth on your eyes to help with dryness. Sometimes the oil glands get clogged and it makes your eyes dry. It helps my eyes.

      1. The heated eye mask helps me tremendously.

        My mom also gave me some supplements that she swears by (omega 3, zeaxanthin, hyaluronic acid). I have no idea if those are evidence based, but they seemed safe enough that I was willing to try them out.

        Be aware of medical conditions (e.g., Sjogren’s) that can have dry eyes as a symptom.

    5. Go to an Opthamologist. I have episcleritis and my optometrist and primary care physician both said is was dry eyes/allergies/nothing. My eye was literally eating itself.

      I’m not saying that’s happening to you, but best to get a true expert’s opinion and get treated for whatever it is, since it’s affecting your daily life.

      I self referred to an Opthamologist since my PCP didn’t give a rat’s ass. I have since changed PCPs.

    6. Thank you all, this is really helpful! I’m going to try all of your suggestions. I hadn’t thought about the difference between an optometrist and ophthalmologist, I’m going to get in to see an ophthalmologist instead. Thanks again!

    7. +100 heated mask for 5-10 min, then wash eyes with baby shampoo gently scrubbing along upper and lower lash lines, and every night use nighttime eye ointment without preservatives is what my ophthalmologist recommended after a diagnosis of Blepharitis, thus, please get an exam SOON by an ophthalmologist to see if you have a specific condition and how to effectively treat it. You don’t want to end up in ER not being able to see, dont ask me how I know.

      1. Thank you! I made an ophthalmologist appointment today thanks to all of this feedback. I really appreciate it!

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