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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 220 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Neck Pleat Sheath Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. LIMITED Neck Pleat Sheath DressI've been thinking of suggesting this dress for a while now — it's such a happy, bright blue, with a classic shape and a flattering neckline — but $98 (full price) seemed a bit steep. Fortunately, the dress is now on sale, along with all other original ticket prices — use code HUGE40 to bring it down to $58.80. Happy Friday! Neck Pleat Sheath Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)  

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Wow!

    I wasn’t sure I needed another dress, but “machine wash, tumble dry” has won me over.

  2. J Crew Suiting Sale Q

    Right now things are 25% off. Does it get any better than this? I know they have final sales, but you generally can’t return things (deal breaker for things they don’t carry in their stores so you can try on for size). Do they do end-of-season sales that are better than this (perhaps on some seasonal items — sleeveless dresses, things other than the 1035 jacket, etc)? I need a new suit and would like to pull the trigger on pants – jacket – skirt, but not if it will be better to wait until Black Friday, after Christmas, etc. Thanks!

    • DC Darling

      FWIW I’ve bought things online that were final sale and also not available in stores and been able to return them. I’ve generally had really good experiences with Jcrew customer service and am inclined to think they’d be willing to work with you if something doesn’t fit, especially if it’s not available in their stores to try on.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      You might get 30% off the whole site, but likely not better than that, until individual items get into sales. But for the basic suiting, in basic colours (black, navy, grey), I wouldn’t personally wait. Some items do make it to sale – the dresses more than anything, and if they have a special style this season, or special colours (normal suiting in bright blue, for example). But if you’re looking for pants and skirt, black…just get it with 25%.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I bought a suit last winter (between thanksgiving and Christmas I think) and got 30% off. I’m willing to buy at 25% off since it rarely goes above that.

    • Cat

      I’d go for it, because with a return period of 30 days (and it sounds like the need isn’t urgent), you can keep all of the tags on and see if there’s a better deal on one (or all) of the pieces for Black Friday or Cyber Monday.

      IME, it gets harder to put together all of the pieces of a suit as the season drags on, and the lack of “final sale” is priceless. Maybe they’d get to 30% off before going to dreaded final sale.

      • WCEC

        Agree with both these comments. The ones that usually go on sale are the pinstripe or novelty items (cut and/or fabric). I have a final sale suit I couldn’t return that has a 19″ skirt! It’s petite and I should have read the description more closely, but still… Sad.

      • KC

        Agreed. Grab it now while your size/color are available. The suiting pieces that go on sale on rarely the classic cuts in neutral colors. If you can wait, keep the tags on and see if there’s a better deal (and availability) after Thanksgiving.

        I’ve had luck returning an online-only final sale item in store. I’ve also heard you can “chat” a SA and they can mark your online order non-final if you’re worried about fit, but I’ve never actually done that.

    • marketingchic

      Related to that – thoughts on the Super 120’s fabric vs. Stretch Wool? I’m looking at the 1035 pant in both.

      • WCEC

        I have both, and I prefer the 120s as I think it drapes more nicely and is less itchy. Then again, I know a lot of people who feel that a little stretch makes clothes fit more flatteringly (is that a word?) and I don’t find that to be true for me.

      • Anonymous

        I prefer the super 120s. Its an all season wool and it has a nice drape to it.

    • Anon

      I’ve also purchased something final sale and then returned the item as a gift. You only get a gift certificate back which is fine with me since I am a fairly regular Jcrew shopper. I figure this isn’t terrible to JCrew since they still get my money and probably actually more of it since it makes me less hesitant to buy final sale items.

  3. DC Darling

    Rant Hijack.

    I work on a team of four people one senior, one junior, one brand new, and myself in the middle. The senior person is, hands down, the most passive aggressive, sly, manipulative person I’ve ever met. Her and the junior person get along great, hang out after work hours, exclude me from projects, in general nastily team up against me. Found out early this week that Senior is leaving on rotation while junior is being moved to a new team.

    So yesterday when they tried to exclude me again I chimed in with “Considering I’ll be taking over as the new senior on the account, I think it’d be best I take lead on this project”. Small victories but I am SO thankful today is last day I have to deal with this nonsense!

    Oh and brand new person seems like a delight to work with :)

    • Ellen

      Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love fruegel friday’s and this sheath dress. Since it is wash and wear, I will NOT have to have it dry cleaned, but I do have to make sure the cleaneing lady does NOT wash it with hot water and bleech, like she did my bra’s. FOOEY! (But I love the new bra’s–YAY!)

      As to the OP, I think most all of us have worked with dooshes before, and it is not easy. Hug’s to you for haveing to deal with a doosh like that. When I was in college, I took a job to earn extra money my senior year. I met a guy on line for the movie’s in Georgetown, and he told me I could work at his bar/restrunt as the hostess. He said all I had to do is take peeople to their table’s and give them menu’s. So I took the job, and it was true, but b/c he gave me the job, he wanted me to sleep with him! I told him I did not find him sexueally attractive, and besides that, I was NOT that kind of girl. He said that all hostesse’s were all expected to sleep with their manager’s and that this is so well known that it virtueally come’s with the terretory, but if I did not want to sleep with him, I could do other thing’s. So I said FOOEY and that I would NOT be exploreing any part of his terretory any time soon, so I gave him my hostess hat back and left. He never even paid me for the 2 day’s that I worked. I also found out that he is still there (as of last Spring) and has lost all of his hair! Who would ever sleep with a bald bar/restrunt manager with a BA from GW? Not me, no way HOZE! I am so glad I never slept with that guy. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      I am leaveing early to get a train to Chapaqua to see Rosa and the Kid’s. Ed is goeing to bring over Fred tomorrow nite, even tho he work’s in Weschester anyway. I hope he has more hair then the doosh that wanted to sleep with me so many year’s ago in Georgetown. YAY!!!!

      • Hel-lo

        In addition to JSFAMO, I have now picked up a new tagline from you, E.

        I love “Not me, no way HOZE!” and want to paste it in emails now.

        • Macatty

          I’m glad I read this because I usually skim the Ellen posts… but this slays me….

      • DC Association

        Dear ELLEN, can you please tell us DC r e t t e s the name of this establishment so we do not frequent it? We surely do NOT want to financially support a business that continues to employ such a DOOSH.

    • Aargh.

      Rant hijack to your rant hijack.

      When leaving a message for someone, please don’t rush/slur/generally sound unintelligible when leaving your callback number. That’s often the most important piece of information in the message! In fact, it doesn’t hurt to spell out the number twice. (And no, this isn’t a situation where I should already have the person’s callback number, or have an easy way of otherwise figuring it out.) UGH.

      • Anonymous

        I always say my number twice because I hate when people rush through the number and I have to replay the whole message. And I always leave my number even if I’ve left it a hundred times before. Because if I want someone to call me back, I make it as easy as possible for them to do so.

      • zora

        omg, seriously!!!!! When I leave messages I leave my number. So. Slow. Ly. and then i leave it twice. It feels ridiculous when I’m saying it, but I spend so much time playing a message 4 times trying to get the whole number!

      • NOLA

        And say your name at the end of the message as well! I always end up calling people back and hoping it’s obvious what their name is. Listening to a whole long message again just for the name at the beginning is so annoying. And don’t even get me started on students. Mumble mumble mumble…

      • Anon

        I’m in a position where I get a lot of customer phone calls. Since I’m the only person who can handle these specific calls, they often go to voicemail while I’m busy and I call them back later that day. As a result I experience this phenomenon at least once per day so you are not alone in your frustration!

        To those who speak slowly and repeat their number, THANK YOU and please continue to do so! You’re my favorites.

        • zora

          Ha, you’re welcome ;o)
          See, I’m the opposite, I have to do lots of calling out, and leaving LOTS of messages in a day, and when you’re leaving the same message dozens of times, there is a tendency to say it faster and faster. So, I carefully overcompensate by putting lots of pauses, and saying my number super slowly, twice. But I hear other people in my office leave their number way too fast, so I take satisfaction in knowing i’m doing it better. ;o)

          • Anon

            You rock. The worst is when I’m trying to catch up on calls while at the airport. Between loudspeaker announcements and mumbling messages I have to give up.

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        Related rant – please include your telephone number in your e-mail signature! If you say ‘please call me’ I don’t want to spend four hours going through all the e-mails on the file to find the one e-mail you included your signature in!

        You know what, I get that you are a curmudgeon and you don’t want people ringing you all over the place, but if you *ask* me to ring you, you need to give me your phone number seeing as I don’t know All The Numbers.

        • Cb

          I love when people say, ‘I don’t know your number’ when my UK number, my Belgian number, and my skype id are all in my signature. Should I start including coordinates for a carrier pigeon?

          • Pink

            If you’re asking for people to call, I’d definitely include a number to call (in case the signature gets lots or removed or what not), and it makes it clear that number is your preferred number.

        • anon

          And for firm lawyers– put your mailing address! When I– the client– am sending you stuff, I want to grab it from your email and give it to my secretary, not go futzing around on your website or searching my files for one of your letters.

      • Traditionalist

        Totally agree. Kevin James has a great bit on “phone number rhythm” that cracks me up. “Bum-Bum-Bum —- Bum-Bum-Bum —- Bum-Bum —- Bum-Bum.” That’s how it’s supposed to go!

      • a

        I used to work in a legal-aid job. I had a lot of clients with the same first name (think Jose) and no caller ID. Many many people would leave a message that just said “Hi, this is “Jose,” call me back.” End of message.

        • Godzilla

          Guilty. But I also feel silly saying my entire name and company since there’s only one young female Godzilla in my industry. I haven’t had problems with callbacks. I definitely go through the whole proper script with repeating the name and phone number for people I don’t talk to frequently.

    • zora

      And DC Darling: Good For You!!! that sounds awesome, that is not a small victory at all! Revel in it! ;o)

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      I believe the appropriate response to this is ‘ooooh, snap!’

      Well done, enjoy it!!!

  4. Quack

    I’m thinking of running home from work. It’s about 3.5 miles. I’m currently in decent shape, but definitely not a runner. Any tips?

    • Anonymous

      Get good running sneakers.

      Get a running watch (Target has Timex ones for ~$20.)

      Wear less gear then you think you’ll need. If you’re warm at the beginning of the run, you’ll be boiling in 10 minutes time.

      You should start with a run/walk program. Run as long as you can and then walk for a few minutes to recover. Run again for as long as you can. The next day try to go a minute or two longer. If you’re in decent shape, you’ll probably be able to go about 20 minutes or so.

      Run slower than you think you should be running. Even slower than that. Starting slow will allow you to go longer.

      • Cornellian

        Second all of this. Even if you’re in good cardio shape you may get cramps when you start. I would have a plan for the run/walk split, though, otherwise you may be inclined to be lazy/push yourself too hard. Maybe start 4 running, 1 walking and see how that goes.

      • Anonymous

        The rule of thumb I’ve heard and used is “dress as though it’s 10 degrees warmer” than it is.

      • CKB

        And instead of a running watch, if you have a smart phone you may want to look into an app instead. Runkeeper is a great free app that allows you to set your run/walk intervals so you don’t have to think about it.

        3.5 miles is pretty far to just start off at. You may want to try running around your neighbourhood first & build up to it. Also make sure there is a safe running route to take between your office & your house.

        • Anonymous

          Make sure your smart phone has a sweat proof case if you’re using it in your hand. And any GPS based apps (that track distance) are going to be a huge battery drain.

          I’m an old school runner, though. I like Nike Pegasus running shoes and my basic Timex watch. And I never listen to music.

          Logistically, I assume you’ve figured out how you’re going to cart your stuff home from work (wallet, keys, phone, etc.). I have no idea how I’d do it. I just run from home and bring very little stuff with me. (see above).

    • Maru

      If you’re not a regular runner, start slow and don’t be afraid of walk breaks! What seems easy during the first mile is going to seem much harder during the third.

      This is a great tool to help you figure out what to wear in different conditions. I sweat, it’s saved me combined hours of staring at my piles of running gear in the winter while I try to factor in temperature and wind conditions:

      http://www.runnersworld.com/what-to-wear

      Good luck and have fun!

    • Anon

      In terms of running home from work, get an arm band that will hold your phone so you don’t have to carry it in your hand. You might also be able to wedge your driver’s license, credit card, subway pass,$20 bill, and building security pass into the arm band, too, so you don’t have to carry anything else home. Tie your house key to your shoe and you’re good to go!

        • Holly

          The spibelt is awesome. I think I heard it about it on this site. I get so many compliments and questions on it when I wear it out.

        • CKB

          I’ve thought about trying a Spibelt, but I’m worried that it will drive me nuts (I get annoyed by clothing fit when I run so I’m pretty picky). I’d want it to stay on my hips, but with my pear shape and defined waist I’d be worried that it would slide around and not stay in place. For example, water belts absolutely do not work for me at all. Anyone use a Spibelt and have opinions?

          • Anon

            I don’t usually have to adjust it very often and it stays on my hips without bouncing. I like to spin the spibelt around to my back so the phone is basically sitting just above my tailbone, which also seems to help.

        • Equity's Darling

          I got a flipbelt recently, and I love it – it stays put, awesome. And CKB, no extra duties to Canada, just regular shipping, it took about 3 weeks to arrive.

          http://flipbelt.com/

        • EB0220

          I love my spibelt and have no problems with it. I do have to adjust it a little sometimes but overall it’s great.

    • Senior Attorney

      Heh. I’m not a runner so when I read this post my first thought was “OMG yes! Yesterday I had one of those days and I TOTALLY wanted to run home from work! At 10 a.m.!”

      • LizNYC

        If you’re looking for a run/walk program, there are several that I’ve read (but have yet to try). Jeff Galloway’s might be the best known.

    • OCAssociate

      If it’s going to be dark, please get something reflective or one of those flashing light pins. My husband runs to/from work in the dark and was hit by a car once.

  5. WCEC

    TJ: skirts or pants in a northeastern major metro city, for an urban commuter?
    Specifically, I’m a new associate in a business casual, large for the region law firm. I’m looking to buy one or two more suits, but can’t decide if I should get skirts or pants as winter is approaching. I can’t afford to get both. I walk to the subway, so the pants will get salty & wet, but do people really wear skirts with warm tights and boots all winter? (I know a lot of you ladies said you do, but I wasn’t sure if you walk outside in your commutes in colder cities). I’d change into heels at the office, and I do prefer skirts. Thanks!

    • Windy City

      I’m a huge fan of wearing skirts to work in the winter, and I walk from the train to work. It’s so much easier to wear snow boots with a skirt and tights. I think if you prefer skirts you should definitely go for it. You brave the cold for the walk, but between your winter jacket and snow boots, you should be ok on the walk. Pants really don’t offer that much warmth when it’s super cold out anyways.

        • Terry

          I feel like an evangelist for these, but fleece-lined tights are fantastic! I had to try two brands to get a good fit (I think they’re less stretchy than regular tights) and ended up with DKNY which matched by high hip:waist ratio. They’re on their third year of ~3x a month winter wear.

    • Echo

      I find it much easier to wear skirts and stockings/tights in the winter for commuting, personally. You avoid the salt stains, soggy hems, and having to stuff your pants into boots. I say skirt suit, especially since you already prefer wearing them!

      • Cornellian

        agreed. There are some great boots that are formal enough fo rwork but will also not make you fall over in the snow. If you can ever find any on sale, Quebec-based Le Canadienne has amazing boots for this purpose.

        • Sue

          There is also another Canadian brand called Blondo. They have both shearling lined and leather boots for winter, worth comparing to La Canadienne.

    • Anonymous

      I always feel snugglier and warmer in good, thick tights and boots with a skirt or a dress than I do in pants. Pants get so wet and slushy.

      • CKB

        On really cold days I layer 2 pairs of tights, and I’m sure they are at least as warm, if not warmer, than a pair of dry pants would be!

    • preg 3L

      As others have said, skirts give you much more flexibility in your commuting shoe choice, which is key for me (NYC, subway commute). If it’s raining, I want to wear rain boots. If it’s snowing, I want snow boots. If it snowed but is no longer snowing, I may want different boots. If it’s just cold, I want warm tights & commuting sneakers. I’m also tall so I rarely wear business pants anyway, but I have found skirts are very versitile. Also, the subways are heated so it’s not quite the same as standing outside for the entire duration of my commute.

    • TO Lawyer

      I’ve lived in cold climates all my life and I wear skirts and tights + boots to work all winter. I honestly don’t see how pants are warmer than opaque tights and boots. Plus whenever I wear pants, the bottom of your pants can get slushy. I walk to work and have found with boots and a good jacket, i can get away with a skirt no problem

      • Anon

        This. I actually find a skirt+really think tights+tall boots to be warmer than one layer of pant fabric. I find that wool suiting pants, even when lined, just let the wind rip right through you.

        Women don’t have many professional dress advantages but I think being able to layer according to the season is a huge plus!

      • Pink

        Agreed. Leather up to my knees, then skirt + coat above that so it’s not as cold as one might think. Plus the slush, rain, snow problems.

    • anne-on

      I’d get skirts. Tights are much easier to clean/take care of if its slushy/rainy/gross outside. And if its really, really frigid, I’d just layer on some heattech leggings underneath your skirt (like hot chilis or the uniqlo house brand).

    • TBK

      I’ve always worn skirts, and often just with pantyhose and flats (not necessarily tights and boots).

    • Hel-lo

      I’m a pants fan. I tuck them into boots or wear ones that are hemmed shorter so they don’t get soggy.

      If you wear silk long underwear, it’s keeps the chill out and doesn’t add bulk.

  6. R

    TJ: Christmas exchange with siblings. My siblings-in-law are trying to rethink Christmas. In the past, we bought individual gifts for each sibling/spouse but that is getting more expensive each year (8 adults and counting…), plus the next generation is starting to arrive. However, we can’t agree on an alternative, mostly because a few of the “original kids” still hang to this idea that Christmas should be a big extravagant surprise. So I’m looking for ideas.

    What do you all do for gifts to your adult siblings/spouses, esp when incomes and geography vary widely? (I’d love to do a joint family experience like a fancier dinner, but the odds of everyone being there at the same time are pretty slim.)

    • EC MD

      We do a secret Santa, where one sibling is in charge of pulling names. There are five siblings and five spouses; you can’t have your spouse. We set a limit (25 or 30, I can’t remember) and usually ask the spouse of whoever we have for ideas.

      If I spent 25/person, that would be 350 bucks, which is a lot. For my two brother’s who are teachers, it’s a ridiculous amount. People buy all the kids gifts too, but I wish we could go to a gift exchange for that too. It’s difficult to control how much comes into my house between hannukah and two boys with December birthdays.

      • Brant

        Elfster (website) does the name pull for you if you want to keep it totally annoymous- you get an email with your giftee and you can even put suggestions for gifts for yourself on your page :)

    • Anne Shirley

      Would setting a price limit work? It would let you still give everyone a gift and a surprise without as much financial pressure. Be sensitive to the fact that gifts are some people’s love language- I so enjoy thinking of good individual gifts and would really be heartbroken by a secret Santa plan. I want to get everyone in my family gifts! But I’d be happy to get creative about what those gifts are.

      • Anon

        This is what we do, and we set a low ($20) limit per gift. It works out great — the gifts are far more creative and personal because it’s tough to stay under $20. Everyone seems to blow out the limit for the little kids, but that’s ok – they have more fun getting gifts than the adults do anyway.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I have 5 siblings and a sister-in-law and we draw names. We’ve done years where we literally drew names out of a hat and kept it a secret until giving the gift, but now we have someone draw for everyone and let us all know who got who. That works for us so we can get gift ideas from the person we are buying for. It works especially well since I’m across the country from everyone else so they typically draw on thanksgiving and let me know my person.

      You can set the dollar limit wherever you want. We used to do $25 but have been doing $50 lately since we are all out of college now.

      I’ve been able to make it home for Christmas every year so we always exchange in person. If I couldn’t make it one year I’d just ship my gift to my parents’ house to be opened with everyone else and my sibling would ship my gift to me.

    • S in Chicago

      We do the draw the name thing for each adult, so we’re all only shopping for one person. We also get each “child” college age and below an individual gift (which adds up quite a bit as the family has been growing).

      Another option is to have a bit of fun with it. I’ve heard some folks will do a “white elephant” exchange, where you draw names and (for under a certain dollar limit) purchase the most creative gag gift you can think of for the particular person–ugly christmas sweaters, dog yoga calendar, etc. I think that would actually be a lot more entertaining than just getting someone another $30 gift certificate or gloves or what have you.

    • Anon

      When not all of us had kids yet, we drew names, so each person only had to shop for one other person. Now that we all have kids, we just get the kids presents and not the adults. Although we all still get our parents presents.

    • prof on a bike

      We’ve been completely unable to agree on a general policy on this in my family, and it’s ended up evolving into case-by-case understandings that work pretty well. For example, my brother thinks that we don’t need to be exchanging gifts anymore and should just do dinner, so I just get a small gift for his kids. My younger sister LOVES gift giving and was horrified when my brother suggested we give it up, and so I still exchange gifts with her (I usually get her and her kids a gift, and she gets me a larger gift).

      • anon

        I just don’t get families that do full on presents for all five siblings, their bazillion kids, all the cousins, aunts and uncles. Especially for adults. Doesn’t it just end up being stuff no one wants or needs, like the bad, cheap kind of sweaters and robes the department stores bring out at Christmas?

        • prof on a bike

          Yeah, I was more than happy to give up the annual Best Buy gift card for scented candle swap with my brother. My younger sister is an amazing gift giver, though — some of my nicest cookware, jewelry, etc, comes from her. The stuff I get her is probably not nearly as amazing, but she gets a total childlike thrill out of opening presents!

    • Maddie Ross

      If you cannot agree to drawing names or cutting down on total gifts, can you suggest something like an ornament exchange? On my side of the family, all the adults exchange ornaments every year – either as a gift to a couple or an individual gift. It’s a fun tradition that allows people to go as personal/funny/elaborate as they want. For those of us who are busy, we buy. For the creative or cost-conscious, they make. Everyone has stuff to open, but it’s not overwhelming.

    • Hel-lo

      In my big family, we buy gifts for the kids. My brother has made it abundantly clear that he is getting gifts for each individual sibling and sib-in-law so that he and his wife get individual presents. But for others in the family, my husband and I might give them a joint present (from us as a joint couple, to them as a joint couple).

      We also do a lot of the same calendar for everyone, or the same ornament for everyone, or mix CDs, or baked goods. You don’t need to do individual gifts.

    • Bonnie

      If you draw names, you can actually get nicer gifts. Instead of spending $20 for 8 people, you could spend $50 or even $100 on 1 person. The gifts will be nicer and everyone will spend less.

    • Dee

      Not to get sanctimonious here, but if y’all contributed to a charity in honor of your family or your parents instead? It could be something that means a lot (your family church, summer camp, or city zoo or international charity) and the charity would get the total $ instead of the piecemeal, and you’d all get that stereotypical Spirit of the Season of Giving feeling. Just an idea.

    • ExcelNinja

      OMG – are you me?? There’s currently a huge email thread circulating between my siblings, parents, and I about this very thing.

      My sister wants everyone to get everyone else gifts.
      My parents want to do a secret santa with a low limit ($25) .
      My husband and I want to do either a group donation to charity or a nice dinner out with everyone (No gifts!).
      My brother wants to do a secret santa with a high limit ($200).

      We can’t seem to agree and I’m feeling super scrooge-y right now because of it.

  7. Anon

    I’ve had a very “thissite” week and just wanted to say thank you to you ladies for your tips, advice, and stellar collected wisdom! I start my new job (following 4 months unemployment, moving, stress) on Monday and have been happily readying myself, mostly based on tips from you ladies.

    First, I hit Payless and was thrilled with the look and fit of the Karmen pump. I have special snowflake feet (wide, super high arches, plantar fasciitis) and they are more comfortable than even my Naturalizers and Soffts! So of course I bought every color they had in my size (what? They had a buy-one-get-one half off sale!) and left with red, nude-for-me, navy, and magenta patent, and black smooth leather. They are just perfect and I feel such a boost knowing that I have comfortable, affordable shoes ready to go with every outfit!

    Then I stopped at Ross and found the most flattering, professional Anne Klein sheath dress (gray tweed and black) that I’ve ever tried on! It was $40 down from $140 and I just adore it. I feel like I finally found a brand that is made for me.

    Yesterday, I scoured Yelp and booked a haircut. Big deal for me, as my last trim was in December, and my hair has been past my shoulders since I was a child. Best salon experience I have ever had! She took me from hair well past my bra band to a short inverted bob and I feel so beautiful. My hair finally flatters my face — my eyes and cheekbones are popping, and my neck looks slim!

    Then, I found a well-reviewed cobbler and dropped off 3 pair of leather riding boots that are just a smudge too right in the calves. I kept thinking that once I lost just a little more weight, they’d fit… but they didn’t. Can’t wait for them to fit!

    I have a product recommendation for any short haired ladies out there – or anyone else who wants more volume. Big Sexy Hair Powder Play — it comes in a little shaker bottle, and a tiny bit goes a long way. Just a sprinkle gives me volume and texture and zaps any grease or moisture. It’s like everything I ever wanted from dry shampoo but better — and it blends in instantly, no worries about white residue on my dark hair.

    It’s incredible how different new hair, new shoes, and a well-fitting dress make me feel. I’m so excited to make the most of this up-swing and so grateful to the community here for the advice that gives me so much confidence. Thanks, Hive!

    • zora

      I’m sure Fernando Lamas would say: “You look mahvelous, dahling!”
      Now you can get to that job and kick some serious butt!! Hive Five!

    • Sparrow

      That’s great! Glad you had a good week. Thanks for mentioning the Big Sexy Hair Powder Play. It seems like something I would use. And glad to hear it works with dark hair!

      • prof on a bike

        Ditto — I just cut my hair short, so I think I might give this a try!

      • Anon

        I hope you love it as much as I do! I put a piece of tape over all but two of the little dispenser holes to get more control over how much I use. The price is off-putting for the tiny bottle, but now that I’ve used it I think it will actually probably last quite a while. If you have an Ulta nearby, they’re on major sale there!

    • Legally Brunette

      This post put a big smile on my face. You go girl!!! Glad that you are feeling and looking fierce.

    • Divaliscious11

      Don’t care what you bought, how much you paid for it or where it was from – but THRILLED at how it made you feel!!!!!

    • New Atty

      Congratulations!!! I’m in the exact same boat as you — starting a new job (the dream job!) on Monday and have been following tips from this site for months. Everything from what to wear to the interview to my recent question about using two phones or merging business onto my personal phone — once I finally got the job offer.

      I want to thank you ladies for your advice and sincerity.

      And good luck on your first day, ANON!!!!! (don’t forget it’s daylight savings this weekend — don’t want to show up off-schedule on your first day!)

  8. Splurge shopping

    I know it’s Frugal Friday, but I’ve been kind of stumped on suit shopping. I’m looking to get at least 2-3 matching suits and 2-3 more blazers. I don’t know if it’s just this season, but all my regular brands have been pretty blah on suits. Any suggestions for other brands to look at?

    I’m looking for suits that normally retail in the $800-$1500 range (so like $600-1000 on sale). They also need to look good on my broad-shouldered size 12 frame. Armani, for example, seems to always be cut a little too tight/severe for me. The brands I’ve been looking at so far are: St. John (although I’d prefer non-knit), Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brothers, Escada, Piazza Sempione.

    Thanks!

    • anonlaw

      Are you me? I’ve been having this exact feeling. All my go-tos are failing me. Can’t wait to hear others’ advice..

    • DC Darling

      I have always had good luck with basic flattering suiting from Theory. Honestly can’t go wrong.

      • TBK

        Theory only fits if your figure is pretty straight up and down. If you’ve got curves (especially a big hip/waist difference and/or booty) they just do not fit.

        • anon

          My measurements are 32-25-34 and I wear Theory suits. Might be the flat butt that allows it.

        • Hel-lo

          Nordstrom has free tailoring. So buy one to fit your rear, and then have the waist taken in.

          (Although when you consign it some day, make sure to note that to the consignment shop. I tried on one the other day where the waist had been taken in. It still had a size 10 label, and was hung with the 10s, but the waist was more of a 6. It would have been perfect for someone who needs waist taken in, but that isnt’ me.)

          Also, check Banana Republic.

    • ADL

      I think you are channeling me as well.

      Perhaps a personal shopper at one of the department stores? My gut would say Nordstrom’s but of course, that only works if you have a Nordstrom in your city.

    • Anonymous

      I just got a great Hugo Boss suit. It’s cut a little bit more generously than Theory. For example, I usually wear an 8-10 in Theory, and am solidly a 6 in Hugo Boss. It’s good quality, lined, well cut. I think jackets are about $500-600, skirts about 250.

    • Miz Swizz

      You might also be me. I have to follow this post to see where I can get broad-shouldered suits.

      • Splurge shopping

        If I ever win the lottery or get a massive promotion, I am going to buy myself an Akris suit. I’ve tried them on before and they look really great on broad shoulders. It’s refreshing to find a fashion brand that makes clothing for non-waif, size 10+ women too (although I think they only go up to 14, but at least their sizes 12-14 are designed for that size, not just a bigger version of the smaller sizes).

  9. b

    pregnancy post alert.
    I am not through my first trimester yet and not wanting to announce my pregnancy widely for another three weeks or so (a few good friends, family know). I am exhausted and have to turn down any invitation to do any evening activity ever, and most every other social/religious/charitable event too — really just need to rest basically all the time I’m not working. Ideas for excuses that don’t involve saying I’m pregnant? Ideas for not going crazy just being at home alone all the time? I’ve already been turning people down for six weeks and feel like a rude, anti-social hermit.

    • Anonymous

      Tell them that you’ve been really busy lately and you’re exhausted? Or that you’ve come down with a bug and need to rest?

      • Pink

        Ditto the “bug”. A family friend had been sick and tired of having the flu, only to find out later that it was her long awaited daughter!

        • ezt

          I have already said this so often that my husband and I now refer to our baby as “Bug.”

    • anne-on

      Try to invite people on your terms? Brunch or other sort of earlier get together? Movies or dinner instead of more active night time activities?
      Honestly, why not just take it easy for another few weeks and blame it on work/a bug/spending more time with your SO?

    • Brant

      “Not feeling well.” People are much more oblivious to your potential pregnancy than you thing. I gained 20 pounds before I told my team at work (at 20 weeks). They were all shocked. Then a team member was re-shocked when at 30 weeks someone mentioned my pregnancy and he had just up and forgot- swears to this day I didn’t tell him the first time (but I did, and he told me all about his wife’s pregnancy!). :)

    • KLG

      I’m currently telling people at work that I’m coming down with the bug that’s been going around my daughter’s school and I tell people at home that a bug has been going around work. :) One person did mention that it seems like I’m never sick and I’ve been sick a lot lately and I just said “yes, I haven’t had the flu or anything since like 2005 so I guess I was due for a rough bout sooner or later.”

  10. Snappy Comeback Needed

    I’m a director and occasionally get phone-calls from a fairly new male sales rep (who does not report to me) requesting information. He’ll end his phone calls with “Thanks, Lady!” This comes off to me as vaguely flirty and disrespectful. What is something I could say to let him know this is inappropriate? I don’t want to be heavy-handed at first.

      • preg 3L

        I think, “no problem, mister” would be better. “man” doesn’t sound as patronizing as “lady” does to me.

        • Monday

          I think, “no problem, mister” would be better. “man” doesn’t sound as patronizing as “lady” does to me.

    • Anonymous

      I got the same thing from a client last year. It skeezed me out, but I chose to ignore it and remain very formal in any communications. Maybe with a sales rep you’ll have better luck than I did.

    • Anonymous

      In my office the women say this to each other a lot. I think it’s weird coming from a guy, but maybe this is something he has been conditioned to be used to in a prior office (since you mention he’s new). I don’t think it’s rude per se, but you have you consider the context.

      • Wildkitten

        Is he super young with lots of friends who are women? My girlfriends and I say this to each other all the time.

        • Suburban lady

          Mine too! Hence the name. Now I’m cringing wondering if I’ve called anyone at work lady.

          • Orangerie

            There’s a woman in my office who addresses everyone as lady. She probably thinks it’s cute and/or funny. Drives me batty.

      • Wannabe Runner

        I say this to my girlfriends all the time, and I have a few male friends (who themselves are friends with lots of women) who use “lady”, “chica”, “girlie”, etc.

        I wouldn’t use it at work, though, unless we were close friends.

        You could say, “Hey, I should have mentioned this before. I know some women like being called ‘lady,’ but for me, it just makes me feel old. Would it be ok if you didn’t say it any more?”

    • Snappy Comeback Needed

      Thanks for all of the feedback. Sales guy is late 20’s/early 30’s, and I didn’t even know “lady” was a thing! I think it was his semi-flirty tone, which works wonders with his older female clients, that bugged me as much as the term itself.

      Nonetheless, feeling old. Now, get off my lawn!

  11. Anon

    What’s the best way to accept a job offer: by phone or email? I’m surely overthinking this, but I probably wouldn’t want to call, have it go to voicemail, and then leave a message of acceptance, right?

    Thank you all!

    • espresso bean

      Ideally, you’d want to accept over the phone. If the person doesn’t answer, leave a message telling them to call you back. Don’t accept over voicemail! You want to have that moment of sharing your enthusiasm with the HR person and giving them a chance to answer any of your questions.

      • TBK

        Agree. I’d leave a message just saying you’d like to talk and could they get back to you at their convenience.

  12. Blu

    I need some ideas for cold weather shoes with a low heel that are good for the weekends and comfy for running errands. Right now I wear ballet flats but it is getting a little too cold for those. I have a pair of oxford but those seem to dressy. Thanks!

        • BB

          I would check out Ecco (in addition to the brands mentioned below). I’ve had very good experience with their boots, both tall and short. They often have gore tex lining and rubber soles and look really cute and not too Croc-y. I like La Canadienne too, but at the $400 range, I feel bad trampling through snow in them! Ecco is more like 1-200 and usually last me at least 2-3 winters.

    • Sue

      I think flat or low heeled ankle boots are the way to go. That way you can wear socks, if it rains it also means your feet are less likely to get wet.

    • tesyaa

      A Merrell-style moc. I don’t think they are the rage anymore, but I don’t see how they could actually be out of style.

      • MH

        +1 to Clarks. I had plantar fasciitis for a while and switched to Clarks, and they are very comfortable.

  13. anon

    I consider myself a fairly intelligent, well-informed person, but I am so incredibly confused about the healthcare law and the resulting issues that I feel like my head might explode. The more I read, the less I feel like I know. I want to be an informed citizen and be able to contribute to the conversation. I don’t know where to start. And everyone feels so passionately about it that it’s hard to have a calm dialogue. Anyone feel similarly? Know of any good resources?

      • emeralds

        Thanks for that link. My current health insurance doesn’t meet ACA requirements, so I need a new plan, and I don’t have any clue where to start since the marketplace website isn’t working. One friend in a similar situation was quoted $650 by Anthem when she called earlier this week, which has me terrified–there is no way on God’s green earth that I can pay that much.

        • A Nonny Moose

          Do you have insurance from your job right now? Or are you buying from ehealth insurance or something similar? If through your job, will they be offering new plans that are compatible with ACA?

          The exchange should get fixed and running in time for your coverage gap. I was able to get through the marketplace in my state and options were very affordable (many plans under $200/month). If you make up to 400% of the poverty line ($45,900 for one person), you will get tax subsidies to help with premiums. Kaiser has a calculator, and Families USA has different poverty line levels depending on how many people are in your family. http://www.familiesusa.org/resources/tools-for-advocates/guides/federal-poverty-guidelines.html

          • emeralds

            Not sure if you’ll see this, but thank you for your response! I’m a student, so I’m buying an ehealth insurance equivalent. I am welllll under 400% of the poverty line, so that’s reassuring.

          • preg 3L

            @emeralds, I only mention this since you mention you’re a student (though that’s not a requirement),you can get on your parents health insurance plan until you turn 26. This is a change the ACA required of all insurance companies (effective in 2010 I believe).

          • A Nonny Moose

            +1 on preg 3L’s advise. If you’re over that age, you may also qualify for Medicaid in your state in 2014. If you’re under 30, you can be even lower priced “Catastrophic” plans on the marketplace as well.

        • Divaliscious11

          First check to see if your state exchange is up. The national exchange if flooded because quite a few states purposefully did not start and exchange. The state ones seem to be managing their loads quite fine.

          I had a link for a really good explanation. If I can find it, I’ll repost in the weekend thread…..

    • ADL

      As someone in health care policy, even I get dizzy. My suggestion would be to focus on those areas where you want to know more about, i.e. Medicaid, Medicare, the uninsured, physician items, hospital items, individuals, employers, insurance, etc. The ACA is a large complicated piece of law that touches on a lot of items.

      Right now, what you are hearing about in the news is the marketplace (aka the exchanges). This is where individuals can shop for coverage. The exchanges are just one (albeit very important) piece of the law.

      As A Nonny Mouse said, Kaiser Family Foundation is a great third party, non partisan resource.

      Hope that helps!

    • Anon

      The Blue Cross Blue Shield Friends and Family line is helpful for answering questions. 855-257-0331. They’ll transfer you to a sales rep if you want, but this number is specifically for education.

    • New Atty

      By any chance are you an attorney? I just watched a CLE video (for free!) on the ACA and it was very informative. If you are a lawyer, look to see if your state is offering any.

  14. Merabella

    I have been eating Halloween candy like some sugar addicted 6 year old. I’m telling myself it is OK because I basically had a salad for breakfast (2 eggs on a bed of spinach with tomatoes and feta cheese). But man are butterfingers, kit kats, and tootsie rolls delicious. I’m glad that I never have trick or treaters, because I’d be like this all week, I guess it isn’t so bad since it is only one day. How do y’all deal when you have bowls of candy around the house all month?

    • anne-on

      Pawn them off on my husband’s coworkers or bring them to my office. My office is dominated by lots of young 20-somethings who seem to have a sixth sense when there is free food/candy about. I swear any food left in the commons area disappears like magic, its great for getting rid of stuff like Halloween Nady.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, except I avoided any Halloween candy yesterday and even went to yoga to avoid having to buy candy and hand it out (and eat while I was doing so) and now there’s TONS in my office. I’ve consumed two mini packs of M&Ms, two butterfingers, two Reeses pumpkins and a three musketeers bar. I’m ill and I hate my co-workers! ;)

        • TBK

          Send it to my office! Not one person brought in leftover candy. I would love a fun size milky way right now.

          • NOLA

            None of us wanted to eat it, so we put it out for our students. Gone! Although the whoppers were the last to go.

    • anon

      I was doing really well yesterday all day. Until the party last night– after a couple glasses of wine, I started raiding my kids’ stash like some kind of addict. It wasn’t pretty.

      • another Kat

        Thinking back to how I inventoried and tallied up my candy on paper. My poor parents couldn’t even steal any because I would have noticed. :-(

    • Hel-lo

      I had a “one for you, one for me” trick-or-treat policy last night. It was not a good idea, and gave me a stomache ache at the end of the night.

      :(

  15. Kate Spade Couponz???

    Does anyone have a code for 15% off + free shipping from Kate Spade? I want to buy a bag and I tried to sign up a new email account, but it didn’t send me a coupon code.

    • ADL

      Sign in, put the item in your shopping cart, and then leave it there. You’ll get a code in a few days.

    • RED

      It does take a few days for the code to arrive in your email inbox. If you can’t wait but can make it to the store, the SA should be able to give you the same discount. (Actually, the SA at the store I go to will give a 15% every time I buy something at full price).

  16. Suburban lady

    Tj! Has anyone had any experience consulting with an architect? We are planning on some major upgrades to our 10o year old home sometime in the next 5-10 years. Specifically, we want to add a bathroom but we don’t have great ideas about where it should go. However, the down the road possibilities could impact some more minor upgrades I’m considering now. Does it make sense to meet with someone now? Or would they just blow me off because we’re not ready to do something yet?

    • tesyaa

      Advice from a contractor might be more on target and quite possibly free. Yes, down the road you’ll need an architect, but a good contractor should be able to give good advice.

      • DealCube

        I would start talking to architects now. You don’t want to sink money into projects that will limit your options down the line or make them more expensive.

        Ask for recommendations. Many architects work with clients just like you on a regular basis.

        • Suburban lady

          Thank you! I am terrified of accidentally making things harder down the road.

    • preg 3L

      Honestly, I would start with asking around at Home Depot or Lowes. They should be able to recommend contractors (DEFINITELY get a second opinion!!) and might be able to tell you if you need an architect instead / in addition.

    • Anon

      I would consider using a kitchen/bathroom designer – I did this for my own remodel & she was great. I got a lot of ideas I wouldn’t have come up with and she was able to do the construction drawings that I gave the contractor so I didn’t need an architect.

    • Anon

      I would meet with the architecht because of your situation. A home that old will have special considerations that a new home might not. Even better if you can find someone with experience working with historical homes.

    • MH

      Check around for a firm that does the whole thing. In my city there is at least one really good company that does everything: they have architects and designers who can design the entire project, and they have their own contractors who will do the actual work. They specialize in historical homes. There is probably something like that in your city.

      I had them come in a look at an attic space that I wanted to turn into a master suite and give me a ballpark estimate, and I let them know that I was just trying to get an idea about how much I’d need to save to do the project. They were really nice about it and looked at everything for free, and then gave me the number. It made me feel a bit sick to my stomach, but now I know how much I’ll need if I ever want to do the work.

      Also, start looking at different magazines or online resources to find people. I also have a 100-year old home and subscribe to Arts and Crafts Home and This Old House magazines. They always have great resources for different cities. You can probably also find some renovation blogs in your area. Finally, check and see if there is an architectural heritage association/historical society in your city. They might be able to give you some good suggestions.

      • Suburban lady

        This is really helpful. Thank you. We are looking to convert our attic into a master suite as well. I will probably be sick as well when I learn the price but the possibility is really exciting.

        • MH

          No problem! I love old house stuff. They can be such a pain sometimes, but I love the weird quirks of owning an old home. If you haven’t already, check out Houzz dot com for ideas on renovating.

    • DC Association

      Go to some open houses in your area with similar homes…if any have been renovated and you like the style, they probably had an architect…you can ask the realtor for the architect’s name.

  17. Commuting to Boston?

    I will be driving to one of the commuter stations to go into Boston early next week. I rarely go into the city but have taken this approach one or twice a couple years ago. I need to be in the city by noon. Is it better to drive into Braintree and park in the subway station there, does parking run out early? I don’t want to take any chances. I am also considering parking at the commuter station in Providence or Attleboro, MA.Is one of these options better than the other?

    • Francie Nolan

      I always use the lot at exit 22 off of 95, the Riverside T Stop, there always seems to be tons of parking.

    • Brant

      You don’t mention where you’re coming from but while Braintree is the cheapest option ($6 for parking plus subway fare), traffic to and around that station is hell from about 6am until 10am. And sometimes Parkig gets filled up. On the way home, your traffic will build as early as 4pm.

      I’d do providence or Attleboro by train if you’re coming from RI- as long as the commuter rail schedule works for you. The more of 128/95/93 you can avoid, the better IMHO.

  18. Cb

    I’m a bit under the weather today. Any good hulu recs to take my mind off the fact that even my finger tips hurt? I’ve caught up on Scandal.

    • LizNYC

      Not sure if it’s on Hulu, but have you ever seen Wonderfalls? Only 13 episodes (since Fox cancelled it early), but it’s a guilty pleasure. Or Pushing Daisies.

    • Senior Attorney

      This may sound nuts, but I got totally hooked on “Ink Master” and watched both seasons on Hulu in, like, a week. Dave Navarro… yummmm!!

        • Senior Attorney

          OMG, it’s ridiculous. I’ve started paraphrasing that show in real life: “Law Partner, you do NOT have what it takes to be an Ink Master, because an Ink Master must be flexible!” “BFF, you do NOT have what it takes to be an Ink Master, because an Ink Master must be dependable!”

          I’m pretty sure I do not have what it takes to be an Ink Master, because an Ink Master should not be super annoying…

    • OCAssociate

      I have to push this since my friend is the director (and it’s a fabulous show): Behind the Mask – it’s a docu series about four sports team mascots – from high school to NBA. It’s a Hulu original series.

      • Senior Attorney

        Okay, I’ve been curious about this and you have pushed me over the edge. Gonna check it out tonight!

        How fun that your friend is the director!!

        • OCAssociate

          I know – It’s wonderful when friends’ shows/movies not only get picked up but are actually great!

    • New Atty

      I’ve recently started watching the Goldbergs (available on hulu) and it is hilarious! @ midnight is also on hulu and a new show.

    • zora

      OMG, have you watched The Thick Of It yet?? It’s a british Scandal. Amazing. Whole series is free on Hulu.

      IT Crowd if you want funny, all eps on Hulu.

      Leverage is MY FAVORITE. First season is free, the rest of the seasons are Hulu Plus, but it’s a really fun heist show with awesome female characters, and hot boys.

      Two other great britcoms i love are Whites and Rev. Both I think only have 1 season so far.

      Also, season 2 of Arrested Devlopment is free on hulu right now, the rest of the series with Hulu Plus. When I was sick I got the free trial of Hulu Plus and then canceled it when I got better. So. Worth. It.

      Feel better!!!

  19. Lady Tetra

    I just found out I passed the bar, yay!! I live in DC and took a different state’s bar. I’m wondering whether you all think it’s worth it to travel to the swearing-in ceremony. It’s not mandatory, but it would be nice to go. But it’s looking pretty expensive, and it’s three weeks away. Thoughts?

    • mascot

      At least in my state, you have to get sworn in at the trial level and then the appellate levels to be able to practice. So if you don’t go to the mass swearing in, will you be able to make alternate arrangements?

      • Woods-comma-Elle

        Probably. In California, for example, all you have to do is sign a piece of paper with the attorney’s oath on before someone qualified – it’s totally anti-climactic. Unless you need to be admitted before a specific court, the swearing in ceremony is voluntary.

        I have the piece of paper tucked away waiting for 1 December when I can be admitted without paying pro rata annual fees for 2013…

    • Anon

      It’s mandatory in my state, but it was still a lovely ceremony. My family came and one of my lawyer family members moved in my admission. The advice from the Justices was nice to hear at the start of my career. So I thought it was worthwhile to attend, but if it is going to be too hard financially, then I wouldn’t worry about it.

    • Anonymous

      I only went because I had to and would have been happy to skip it. To me, it just wasn’t a special event. You will have to go to a swearing in ceremony when you waive into the DC bar and, in my experience, the two events were pretty similar

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Yay! Well done! Very exciting! Also agree generally with above posters that it’s probably nice but probably not worth the cost if that’s excessive.

    • Susie

      I went because it was mostly people from my law class, so nice to reconnect with people I haven’t seen in a few months. But of course my mom wanted to come too because she thought it was a big deal.
      The ceremony itself was very short – I’d say not worth it if expensive to travel to if there is another method of getting sworn in, unless you want an excuse to spend a few days in that city.
      Congratulations!

    • DealCube

      DC does a decently nice swearing in ceremony, and it is mandatory I believe. I would skip this one.

      Of course I only went to my law school graduation because my family wanted to see me graduate, so YMMV. (In retrospect, I wish I had stuck to my guns and skipped it — I’m just not a pomp and circumstance type)

    • CapHillAnon

      Congratulations to you!
      I’m also barred in DC and another state. My state’s swearing in wasn’t mandatory, but I went and I’m glad I did. It was a lovely ceremony, and I liked that it marked the boundary between being a student and being a real attorney. I traveled alone, and still remember that trip (it was about 100 years ago, sheesh) so positively, as a time to reflect about the profession, what I wanted to do as a lawyer, etc. It was a touchstone for me. Also, it was much nicer than DC’s. There’s just no dressing up Moultrie.

      You probably already know whether you’re the kind of person who will get something out of it, or whether it will be just perfunctory.

  20. Anonymous

    Ditto. My swearing in ceremony was in a room with about 2000 other people and was completely impersonal. I wouldn’t have gone if it wasn’t mandatory.

  21. Suburban lady

    I loved mine. It was a much nicer moment than any graduation ceremony. Short, sweet and the judges said some very nice things. Beautiful courthouse three blocks from my apt at the time. It was awesome. That said, I’m only admitted here in New York. Perhaps if you’re already an attorney it’s less fun.

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