Coffee Break: “Nevertheless, She Persisted” Print

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1. Repost from morning thread- for those of you in business casual skewing business offices, would you say that this color could pass as a neutral? I have dark-ish skin and I think it would work well, but I don’t have any more room in my wardrobe for bold colors and patterns.

   https://mmlafleur.com/shop/tory-3-0-true-olive

   1. Since it’s a stand-alone dress that doesn’t have to work with anything else, why not get it if you like it? I definitely think it’s office appropriate for warmer weather.

   2. Yes, neutral and beautiful!

   3. I’m generally not a fan of olive but that dress is gorgeous!

2. Pears, can you point me toward some of your favorite clothing items for work? I love the look of sheath dresses and pencil skirts, and they very much fit my tailored business style, but I’m tired of the morning closet battle where what I wear in the morning is directly determined by what I ate the day before. (Is anyone else like this, where if you eat carbs, you’ll gain 3 lbs overnight on your thighs and not be able to fit into anything? Not exaggerating!) So I’m on the hunt for more naturally flattering items that I can wear whether I ate carrots or pizza the day before. Thanks!

   1. I am “not pencil shaped” and I find that Talbots and Lands End cut their sheath dresses in a way that accommodates my hips, rear and belly. Granted, I don’t buy/tailor them to be skin tight, but I never feel that I am showing off any “flaws” that I don’t want to.

   2. I think you might like pointe pencil skirts. Wear them with a longer topper if you’re feeling self conscious about your thighs. Or, you know, don’t buy skirts only for your thinnest weight.

   3. I hear you, sister.

      I have decided that pencil skirts and carefully tailored sheath dresses are not for us. Yes, I can fluctuate enough in one week to give me problems. Tailored pencil skirts and sheaths also make me a bit uncomfortable at work, as they accentuate my rear too much.

      A-line or shift dresses are better. Stretch in all materials. I wear a lot of looser cut pants that are more flattering with my shape + heels.

      1. +1 to a-line and shift dresses. A-line dresses are flattering and draw attention away from those problem areas and are my go-to for those days where a sheath dress is just not going to work. Shift dresses can sometimes look boxy on me, but there are definitely shapely ones out there.

      2. I fluctuate enough in a day sometimes that a pencil skirt that’s perfectly comfortable in the morning is terrible by lunch.

         shifts, well-cut sheaths, and a-line are where it’s at.

   4. I like a pencil skirt (not too tight) and top. Dresses, unless knit, rarely fit properly on top and bottom and A line just makes me look squat.

      My uniform: “the skirt” from Nordstrom, shell/work-appropriate T/blouse, jacket. In winter, shell or blouse is replaced by a sweater most days. In spring, I might trade the skirt for pants. I have like 6 pairs, all black, all tailored.

      Dresses tend to be knit. Boden seems to fit my pear shape very well.

   5. I hear you. I wear a lot of Calvin Klein dresses.

      1. Preach, I have had so much luck with CK dresses as a pear. Sometimes they have fit and flare styles that are great for work.

   6. LOL at 3lbs overnight and pants don’t fit. I relate!

      Lands End fits me perfectly. I have a pair of Vince Camuto pants that work well; their skirts may also. Loft/AT was my go-to – and may still fit well – but I haven’t bought from them in ~10 yrs because of dissatisfaction with their quality. I sew my own pencil skirts.

      1. Oh, also: I own clothing in 3 sizes. Unapologetically. It’s do-able because I’m not a clothes collector by nature, so I only have ~3 work bottoms in each size.

   7. Not budget, but I like Elie Tahari and Lafayette 148 dresses. They have a bit more shape than some other brands. I also like the pleated M.M. LaFleur skirts and pants. I also just bought a pair of pleated Vince Camuto pants that worked.

   8. This is the story of my life

3. How do professional women get their male superiors to stop staring at their breasts. Nothing more than staring, but it is very annoying.

   1. I have a not insignificant chest size (32DD) and I don’t experience this very often. Are you showing cleavage at work? I would find that to be a bit distracting, and I’m a straight woman. If you aren’t showing cleavage, and aren’t wearing tight or otherwise inappropriate clothing, I think you work with a-holes. I would probably cross my arms over my chest in a very pointed way until they stopped.

      1. +1 to all of this.

   2. Blazers. You shouldn’t have to take such measures. But I’ve been there and it helped.

   3. Looser fit on the tops (no tight knits), wearing silicone niiple covers or padded bras, and minimizing the cleavage.

      1. Or, here’s an idea – call them out on inappropriate behavior and go to HR if necessary. It’s not the woman’s job to change her behavior to stop lecherous men from sexually harassing her in the workplace. Assuming you’re not going to work topless, there is no excuse for their behavior.

         1. I kind of disagree. If you’re showing a lot of cleavage, sometimes it’s hard to look away (as a straight woman, I can say this). Same as if a man is wearing too-tight pants, or his shirt is not buttoned to the top and there is chest hair peaking out. It’s human nature. We all have an obligation to dress professionally. Of course, glancing at someone’s cleavage a few times during a conversation is different than staring intently at it while talking to someone.

         2. I’ve definitely called out peers (not managers) for this behavior in a “hahaha DO NOT DO IT AGAIN haha” way, and it seems to be effective. I don’t know how I’d address it with a manager.

            I also get asked regularly if I’m pregnant, and no response I give seems to have an impact on peers. Short of telling them: NO, a$$hat, but thanks for asking because I’ve been in fertility treatments for 17 months. But that’s another topic.

            1. I have done this before re my breasts and legs and trust me – it works.

         3. +100000000000000000000

         4. One of my work friends once said to a man who was asking her a question while staring at her chest, “they’re not going to answer you.”

            1. +1000000000

   4. Scarves.

      1. I had the same issue. I told my boss that I was flattered by his attention, but that my brea$ts were really only for my SO’s enjoyment. The jerk asked if he could be my next SO!

         1. LOL. I can’t decide if I am horrified or impressed that he doubled down.

         2. Your BOSS? I hope you mean your former boss after you reported that ish to HR.

            1. Pretty sure this is one of the new trolls.

            2. Ugh. I wish Kat had a better system. Time waster.

         3. FOOEY!

4. I came across this article the other day and it resonated with me

   http://www.feministcurrent.com/2015/09/28/youve-heard-of-rape-culture-but-have-you-heard-of-pedophile-culture/

   Not only for myself and my experiences, but because I have a 16 year old daughter and I see how men look at her.

   1. +1000. I read this article when it came out (I love Feminist Current) and it’s shocking and sad how little attention this issue gets.

   2. Whoa… right on.

      I have a friend who is a successful plastic surgeon, and I recently looked at his website. The female image on the screen is a girl you literally looks like she is about 12 years old. I’m not kidding.

      This is a male plastic surgeon. Advertising to women. About the ideal they should be pursuing.

      I am even disturbed a bit on this site when some grooming habits are discussed… how quickly society continues to push towards these male dictated “ideals” ….. and the smart, talented, independent women on this website don’t even realize what guides their own behavior….

      Thanks for posting this.

      I’m a feminist and this brings out one of the strongest reasons I have a problem with the porn industry.

      1. Hive five. The whole Brazilian thing was at its apex when my daughter was a 4 year old. And the way her hairless “front butt” (her term) was the way mine was now supposed to look in order to be considered secksy? It grossed me out then and it still does.

         Yes I know a lot of women even around here say this is their choice and they do it for themselves but do they really? Why was there no such thing 50 years ago?

         1. If you go out to the beach with hairy legs and a mustache and natural hair everywhere else, you’ll be shamed instantly. Such a free choice, right? Can’t stand when women ignore that.

         2. Even less than 50 years ago…. Shoot, my female friends weren’t doing brazilians 20 years ago! And many…. Never do it.

            Rise of the Internet…. Increased access to porn at younger ages…. I truly feel it correlates with that.

5. I have never seen anyone double-down on idiotic, dangerous, untrue assertions as much as that man. Holy cow.

   1. He somehow made it worse! Like his “clarification” makes it seem like he was saying “but these were innocent civilians” as opposed to???

      Like what are you trying to say? At least hitler had the decency to rip people from their homes and round them up before gassing them to death?

      1. +1

      2. This comment is mine btw for some reason it auto populated as anon. Maybe I was too outraged to write it.

   2. I have no words.

   3. OMG

   4. United: we just did the stupidest thing ever

      Spicer: hold my beer

      1. Pepsi is so relieved right now.

         “Holocaust Centers”? Really? I have no words. Despicable.

      2. I saw a funny tweet in this vein that was United: something or other Spicer: Hold my Pepsi.

      3. I saw one
         “Sean Spicer: Hitler never used chemical weapons.
         United PR: Oh, thank F**KING GOD.”

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