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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: High-Waisted Pull-On Pixie Pants

high waisted black pull-on pants with wide slightly cropped legs; model wears white sneakers with black stripes and black soles and a beigeish fitted top

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

You really can’t beat Old Navy when it comes to well-priced work pants. If you’re building a new work wardrobe on a budget for any reason (new job, change in sizes, change in style), this is always a great place to start. These pull-on wide leg pants would be a perfect business casual piece, especially styled with a slim-fitting turtleneck or sweater blazer. 

The pants are $49.99-$54.99 and come in regular sizes XS-3X, petite sizes XS-L, and tall sizes S-XXL. They also come in espresso, navy, khaki, and gray pinstripe. 

Hunting for other great pull-on pants? These are some of our favorites:

Some of our favorite super-comfortable pull-on pants for the office include these in 2023: one* / two / three / four* / five* (also!) (* come in plus sizes)

Sales of note for 12.5

175 Comments

  1. A self-indulgent musing here: I’ve realized I’m spending too much of my time being passive and managing my free time poorly. I’m so often staring at a TV screen, eyes glazed over, or doomscrolling on my phone (or worse, both at once) or doing the same old chores as my after-work routine. I can’t remember the last time I laughed until the tears were running down my face or the last time I attended a party with a lit dance floor. I recently watched a video of a wonderful Scottish band playing traditional fiddle music and was struck by how ALIVE they all looked – so engaged in their highly skilled instrumentation, laughing while playing, dancing, tapping their own feet uncontrollably, developing the passion over decades. My brother went scuba diving after work this week and looked so damn happy. I miss doing non-screen things for leisure and feeling so engaged and alive! I have “alive” hobbies that I love, but these thoughts made me realize that the balance is way off – instead of doing those activities a few times a week and then doing dumb screen stuff the rest of the time (my current pattern), I should be doing the great activities most of the time and dumb screen stuff a few times a week. I know in my bones it’s what I need: more live music, more whitewater rafting, more mountain biking, more sunrises from peaks, more skiing in snowstorms, more moments of full engagement in life, more time with the most fun people I know (and it makes me sad to think of it, but a bit less time with certain friends I love dearly but who affect my happiness sometimes). Wish me luck making this happen. I know others here have dealt with the same challenge and I feel so glad to have pinpointed that for me, it’s about the balance and the balance was/is way off.

    1. I feel this to my core. But also, my evenings disappear REALLY quickly and I’m pretty darn tired after work (and still have kids and kid things to take care of). So I don’t know what the answer is, but I can tell you that I hate hate hate how much time I feel like I’m wasting. My kids are old enough that I’m not doing all the things for them anymore (other than driving them), but they still need an adult who is present and available. So I feel like I’m constantly “on call” and frittering away my time on chores and scrolling and sometimes reading. I go on walks, too, but that doesn’t exactly make me feel alive in the way you’re describing.

      All this to say, I think this is REALLY common in middle adulthood.

      1. I fully agree with you and I’m trying hard to work more ‘fun’ into my weekends. Frankly the way that happens is that a lot of my weeknights are logistical/chores. I feel like the 6-9pm hours FLY by with cooking/chores/checking homework/walking the dog/getting bags/clothes ready for the next day. WFH has been wonderful in that we can actually eat by 6pm most nights vs. getting in the door then!

      2. +1 to it being really common in middle adulthood. I think a lot of the “don’ts” you hear a lot in middle adulthood are don’ts because they reset chemicals in your brain for dopamine and actually push your resting happiness down lower than it would be if you restrained from the “don’ts.” mostly thinking of screentime and excessive drinking.

      3. I found that my son needed me to be home when he was in high school as his base no matter where he went or when he came home. Especially when my husband was working out of town. The teen years don’t last forwever and his friends gave me that alive feelings. That said, I read about the driving everywhere thing but it was not our experience. Our son took the bus to school or rode his bike for activities afterschool. By 11th grade, we got him a car. I hated the idea of scheduling so many afterschool activities that all we did was drive. Nope. There is a better way!!!

      1. I’m still trying to work on healthy screen time (which I need a lot of for my job), so that’s a work in progress, but the activities I listed above are some of my top priorities. To help make them happen more, I’m really committing to scheduling the fun in advance. I’ve found that for me, I really struggle with coming up with spontaneous plans and will default to passive entertainment too often, but if I put “mountain bike with Dad” on the calendar for two weeks from now, it will happen. I’ve slacked on this a bit lately and I’m trying to re-energize the effort. I’ve already put a camping weekend on the calendar, I’m going to visit said brother (the scuba diver) and ask him to take me surfing, and I’m booking a whitewater rafting day trip I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

        When it comes to the screentime side, I’ve already turned off notifications, don’t have apps on my phone, etc, but I still really struggle with high usage, especially for texting my best friends and watching reruns. Open to ideas, but I keep coming back to knowing that I need to fill my schedule with more active things so there’s no room for screentime. I can’t be doomscrolling while I’m mountain biking, for example.

      2. Not the OP, but I’m actively looking for outing options and committing to them. A couple local places have live music every weekend with food trucks parking and serving. I decided to make this the Year of New Things, with at least one new to me activity per month. I’ve mostly been able to do that, including things like painting/glazing pottery, seeing a band outside my usual music genres and trying a few new recipes and cooking techniques.

        I still spend more time online than I probably should, but I’m also doing more than I was.

        1. That sounds like a great way of framing it: Year of new things -> One new activity each month. Much easier than Laure Vanderkamps one small and one big adventure a week (both because of the volume, and because – what is an adventure?).
          I feel very inspired:-)

        2. That sounds like a great way of framing it: Year of new things -> One new activity each month. Much easier than Laura Vanderkamps one small and one big adventure a week (both because of the volume, and because – what is an adventure?).
          I feel very inspired:-)

      3. In my case, inertia takes over. Once I stop making the effort to get out and do things, it becomes easier to not do things than it does to make plans to do them. It takes an active effort to change a pattern or habit, and also, change is hard. But I have been working on it for the last year and instead of scrolling/browsing in the evenings, I go for a walk, or do a home workout, or go chat with a neighbor. Instead of staying home and watching TV every Saturday night, my husband and I are trying to go see a live band play or go to the local board game library and play games. During the days on the weekends, rather than spending all day running errands, or cleaning the house, I try to go for a hike or bike ride in the morning and then we go to the pool, or go to an art museum or something. It’s so easy to let life slip into the routine of work – do chores – scroll on phone – repeat ad nauseum and I totally get where the OP is coming from.

    3. I used to plan parties and outings and dinners and things. People stopped RSVPing. Then, the severe ghosting and no-showing. I just gave up to the point where I always accept invitations and go but limit my invites to a core group who responds. So there may well be fewer great parties and gatherings or you may need to find a crowd who will show up if you plan.

      1. Yes– we host a yearly pool party and each year less and less people come. Some people didn’t even RSVP no until the day-of. It makes me sad.

          1. Honestly, if they’re anything like people I know, they stayed home to doomscroll instead.

      2. I just plan things last minute and it works better. Means I end up hanging out with people who are also more last minute types. But much easier for me to text someone Friday morning and see about them coming over for an impromptu dinner Friday night than to plan something weeks in advance. Often if they can’t do it that Friday, we end up doing something else over the weekend. I find it works well for my stage of life.

        1. Yes same. With elementary age kids, I start asking around about who’s free to do something, or who would like to join us for ___, towards the end of the week. Especially since I and several friends are dealing with eldercare issues on top of kids, it’s often hard to commit to something weeks in advance. I’m not as adventurous as OP, but having friends who live nearby and whose kids are friends with my kids is a lifesaver — we often just meet to have pizza on someone’s stoop on summer evenings after camp when no one feels like cooking.

      3. We also just quit planning gatherings because of the number of people who would never RSVP, or they would no-show, and we would have done a lot of planning and prep for nothing, and we’d end up with a ton of leftover food, etc. A lot of people I know have said the same thing, so I guess few people are having parties any more? It makes it hard to keep a social circle together for very long.

    4. When I find myself in a similar state I schedule things to do over the weekend. Plan an outing: go on a hike, stop for lunch at that lobster shack you’ve been meaning to go to all summer and then get ice cream. Spend an hour (only a hour!) cleaning out that corner of the garage. Make a new recipe for dinner. The point is to do something different than what you do everyday and make is a real weekend!

      1. I completely agree with making the stops for food or whatever else catches your eye. Sometimes I have a stupid tendency to just rush back home to sit on the couch instead of making the extra stop, but whenever I do make the effort, I’m really grateful for it.

    5. I’m single and don’t have kids and live in a city walking distance to all of my friends but I’ve had decent success with this. I have a lot of energy naturally (though I do care a lot about nutrition, sleep, and staying active which helps with energy) and I also work a strict 9-5, which is how I have time for all of this.

      I basically designate one night as a chill night but try to otherwise have plans. On Mondays a friend and I go for a trail run and grab a beer. On Tuesdays I watch the bachelor at a friends house and we do a potluck dinner (yes it airs on Monday but none of us have cable so we have to watch on Hulu next day). On Wednesdays I play in a soccer league or go to bar trivia. Thursdays are normally my chill night. I workout before work 2-3x a week. I want to take an art class and get more into biking but sadly don’t have the time.

      I find having standing plans really helps. I don’t have to figure out what I’m doing and with whom, I just know it’s Monday so Sarah and I are running.

      I try to make sure I spend time in my weekend doing something active and outside, seeing friends and family, and meal prepping and cleaning so my weeknights are free for fun. I literally do no chores on weeknights (I’m also single and live in a 600 sq Ft apartment so I don’t have that many chores).

      I feel so much more alive when I’m doing something physically challenging outdoors. It’s my best version of myself. Living downtown makes it a little challenging, but I need to be better about using my weekends better.

      I’ve never been a huge TV person; aside from the bachelor and the NFL I don’t watch much. I read in the mornings before I go to the gym, but when I’m home at night I do way too much phone scrolling. Like that’s often my only entertainment if I’m home. I would like to cut back on it, but I don’t know how to replace it.

      1. Yes to standing plans!! Taking out the mental labor of forming a new plan can be so key.

        1. This is pretty much the only thing that has ever worked for me, esp. with an exhausting job where I have to bill time (i.e., there is always more work to do!!! yay productivity!!! blah). It takes away the mental work AND makes it easier to preserve the time if I’ve already committed/paid for it.

      2. Yes to all this! I have standing plans for different hobbies/friend groups on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. I usually have one or two shows going, so on Wednesday and one weekend night, I’ll watch 1-2 episodes. The key for me is to stop after that. I also have a couple of very chill YouTubers I like. I will watch an episode very intentionally (no phone in hand!!) once a week to wind down.

        1. Notably, none of this can really happen with kids or elder care responsibilities.

    6. I really struggle with this – the nighttime inertia is real. I’ve had the most luck with two tactics. First – scheduling a weekly reason to get out of the house. For a while I was in a running group, then I did a climbing class. That ended, but now I try to meet a friend for a walk-and-talk on the regular. Second – when I sit down to look at my phone in the evening, I try to give myself permission to indulge but also set a timer for 15 or 20 minutes to stop. That’s usually enough to remind myself that no, I do not actually want to while away the hours.

    7. This is a perpetual work in process for me. I dont have a big circle of friends, dont actually enjoy drinking more than once a month, find bars and similar higher energy or lively enviroments like bars over stimulating very quickly…so a lot of going out after work type activities that a lot of people would default to arnt appealing to me most of the time.

      To try to limit screen time:
      I took off all sm or fun apps from my phone, removed all connections on insta and fb except immediate family, bff and a couple of artists whos work I keep up with.
      Flipped all settings that I can to discourage the infinite scroll and all short or reel style content on the social media I am active on.
      I take public transit and once I put my headphones on, my phone goes into my bag and stays there unless I need to check the transit schedule.
      I make my commute longer with as much walking outside as is possible.
      My phone stays home when I go for walks.
      I check news headlines once a day on my work computer for wsj, bloomberg and my cities paper, and thats it. No news checking if its not a work day, no newletters or feeds or alerts etc.
      On weekends I have a general rule that 8 until 1030 can be lazy, do whatever I want time on the couch. But by 11 I need to either be doing chores, errands, taking a long walk, doing a hobby, or just doing anything else engaging in some shape or another.
      Making myself conciously acknowledge the choice to have screentime over other activities.
      Signing up for drawing classes that meet x1 week, (when the class schedule works for my work, travel, and vacay schedule)

    8. I relate to this so deeply! Good luck, and thanks for reminding me to do the same!

    9. I’ve been working on a similar plan. One thing I realized is that sometimes I have to go on my own (which is very uncomfortable for me, but I’m gradually getting better at it). For example, I do a lot of solo hiking.
      Scheduling in advance is also helpful. If I wake up on a Saturday morning with no plans, I’m much more likely to veg on the couch all day.

      1. I totally agree. Sometimes I fall into the trap of thinking an unscheduled Saturday is just what I need to relax but that is almost never restorative.

    10. Some people recomended here the “Design life” book and from the first chapters it have helped me to rebalance my life. For example I schedule a “play/fun” thing a day/ week/month, alone or in group.
      Maybe you could give it a try.

      https://designingyour.life/women/

  2. I’m looking for the book version of some tv shows I’ve really liked which are Downton Abbey and 1893. Really I’d like some fiction from the 1880s-1920s and I’m quite open to various locations or settings. I sort of want something that’s not too heavy either? More showing you daily life (which I guess was quite heavy for a lot of people sadly).

    1. Written during that time or set during that time but written from a modern perspective? Those are very different things and if you like those shows, I think you want the latter?

    2. So…Edith Wharton and George Elliot? Or contemporary writers writing about (and often glossing over/ignoring the realities of life in those time periods)? If it’s the latter there are a TON of romances/historical romances about that time, the romances are generally a lot lighter than the ‘literary fiction’.

      1. I was thinking George Eliot as well but that’s actually far too early, a half century before the time period OP meant. It shows I really need to read Middlemarch!

    4. Lark Rise to Candleford is based on a series of autobiographies set in that era. The books have been collected into one volume, and it is lovely.

    5. It sounds like you are looking for The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy.

      And, while not quite what you are asking for, have you tried reading any Miss Marple? It’s set in the right time period, is lightweight, and the focus is small village life. The Father Brown books would also fit this description, keeping in mind that they were written in the 1910s and 1920s as opposed to the 1950 setting of the BBC show.

    6. I recently read the series “The Agency” by Y.S. Lee. It takes place in the same time period and has the upstairs/downstairs vibes that DA has, including some intersections with royalty, and shows daily life. It’s a mystery series.

      Similar are the Wrexford & Sloane mysteries by Andrea Penrose – the hero of the series is an earl, and the heroine a lady, in the same time period. There’s less of the perspective on “downstairs” in this series.

    7. The Anne of Green Gables series! I believe that’s set around this time and not overly heavy, until you get to the last book or two when it gets into World War I (but still fairly light overall).

    8. If you liked 1883, maybe Lonesome Dove or My Antonia- I think the timing might not be exactly right in those, but in the general range?

    9. Elizabeth Gaskell! North and South or Wives and Daughters, which are both excellent miniseries. Or Cranford.

    10. They start as children’s books but the ‘Betsy Tacy’ series (especially the end) cover this time period and are very light hearted, Daddy Long Legs might also be a good option.

    11. they’re romances, but recommend The Fifth Avenue rebels series by Joanna Shupe!

    12. A Room With A View is Edwardian – Travling Italy! Romance! The ridicioulousness of class structure and the clergy during the period! Small english village drama! Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, and Helen Bonhem Carter all in the movie!

      The Charles Finch mystery series is cozy english armchair detective stories.

      1. A room with a view was my favorite! When I finally got to Florence, I fell to my knees in the Santa Croce

    13. Brideshead Revisited (or other books by Evelyn Waugh), A Room With a View (Forster), Atonement (McEwan) and The Remains of the Day (Ishiguru) scratched that itch.

      1. Can confirm – I read Brideshead Revisited and Remains of the Day in the last year and they’re both deeply satisfying.

    14. For a contemporary writer, I agree that you might like Anthony Trollope (TV adaptations or novels, really! there are some wonderful TV adaptations too).

      For a well researched modern novel, consider the Golem and the Jinni despite the genre; the representation of daily life is rich and memorable.

    15. Also, if you like frontier-type stuff, highly recommend “Angle of Repose” by Wallace Stegner. It’s a beautiful book.

      You can subscribe to Acorn or Britbox or PBS Masterpiece and have endless TV variations of these show available too. So many good older Masterpiece shows cover the periods mentioned.

    17. Here are some suggestions to get you going: “Time and Again,” by Jack Finney, a book written in the 1970’s (you can find it second-hand or maybe at the library), which is an interesting novel that takes place in the Dakota and thereabouts in NYC in 1882, if memory serves. Maybe also “The Alienist” by Caleb Carr, about an investigator in the 1890’s (if memory serves). Plus novels authored by Henry James, E.M. Forster, Noel Coward. “Ragtime” takes place in the 1920’s but is a good, sweeping novel of the times. Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald, who are also 1920’s setting novelists, for example, “A Movable Feast” or “The Great Gatsby.” Have fun!

      1. Follow-up — “In a German Pension,” which is a collection of short stories by Katherine Mansfield that take place in a pension at a spa town in the 1910’s. A lot of social and cross-cultural commentary, if memory serves.

  3. Good morning, can anyone recommend a great restaurant or two on Hawaii (the Big Island)? We’ll be there this Fall and it’s a group that really appreciates an excellent and interesting meal. No budgetary constraints. Thank you!

      1. I do not think that is true of the other islands. Hawaii’s economy depends on tourism.

        1. Tell yourself that. When all the natives are gone, there will be no Hawaii to go to. THere is zero reason to plan a trip there.

          1. I heard this on NPR yesterday, it not something I invented myself. Official guidance from the Hawaii government is not even to avoid travel to Hawaii.

      2. Maybe in west Maui but they need $ to help rebuild and just to keep their exonomy going. Go to Oahu, etc.

      3. This is what I was thinking. Not to be a debbie downer but I would think that a lot of the resources from all the other islands will be sent to Maui to help, not to mention displaced people staying on other islands and tourists re-routing from Maui to the other islands. I would reschedule, personally.

        1. I wouldn’t. There was an NPR segment on just this yesterday. This crow’s tourist hotels aren’t going to house the displaced from west Maui. Go to another Island and it will be OK. They need you and your spending.

          1. This, exactly- HI is dependent on tourism and it would be a tragedy to kill the other islands along with Maui.

          2. Yes, I’ve been seeing this on social media as well. People should reconsider going to Maui and should not go to West Maui (where the fire was) at all. But the other islands are fine and need tourism, especially going into this “bridge season.”

            This time of year is when we usually go to the Big Island. Between summer and the holidays there’s a lull, and the smaller number of tourists that come in in the fall really help keep everything going – we have heard this from business owners on the Big Island. So if people have plans on other islands, they should keep them. It’s a hard thing – the islands are overtouristed but if tourism were to stop, the economy of the islands would collapse. We have known about this for years and continue to go to the Big Island and be the most respectful tourists we can be.

      4. Hm, we were previously going to Maui for part of the trip and have cancelled that and are going to the Big Island instead. We obviously don’t want to make things harder for Maui as they recover, but I hadn’t heard that Hawaii was discouraging travel to any of the other islands.

        1. That person doesn’t know what they’re talking about:

          Official guidance from the Hawaiian government has shifted in past week, first discouraging travelers from visiting the entire island of Maui, and now, from West Maui for the rest of the month. Travel to the other islands, including tourist-draws Kauai, Oahu and the Big Island, remains unaffected.

          https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/17/travel/maui-wildfires-travel-tourism.html?unlocked_article_code=_uGv0OW0yob0wDiVBZvFBb3QEBNxpu0czha-UfYAS2uH9kVCy-ZRXvS9z9Tg5j78ynML28tpoMd-fOmrorP6-qwkWh0TK1jIUldOsFVtqFRAbi92q2tDF0VESWqlXzSdVCBEIz0cAM5-XdFDq2TGoOm_cFaCFm1KqlygNiN2POTbtEOP4E02wblLvhymq8AMOKUBps8MEk4_7yZpLvilKmmCz3hLPSSVn7aahEtFwx7EcOiZ2WtQjk5ML43dsAIz0WIHPt-KMCU-IMdNbrqQva1IwkqBrbR2bur_YNpaarFmMFQsEfSxT2RxAlxy9O8ycwFUUaTjl6iN6iDZCCQFafBQ7rI7vQ&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

      5. On Maui, right now. But tourism is Hawaii’s main economy. Of course it’s ok and even good to travel to other areas to support the state.

    2. Merriman’s in Waimea. My husband and I had an excellent anniversary dinner there last year. Nothing fancy, but we also really enjoyed Ken’s House of Pancakes in Hilo (just a diner, but really delicious). Another beautiful breakfast/lunch spot is The Coffee Shack – food was great and the views from the open-air restaurant were incredible.

    3. We love Manta at the Mauna Kea. ULU Ocean Grill at the Four Seasons Hualalai is also really good. Merriman’s is a Big Island classic. Canoe House is also excellent.

    4. The big island is our favorite place to vacation! Have tons of fun!

      Highly recommend Lava Lava Beach Club during sunset, and a breakfast açaí bowl at Basik Açaí.

    5. Try the restaurant at the Volcano House Hotel. It’s been years since I was there so I can’t vouch for the food, but the views of the volcano are breathtaking.

    7. Thank you all for the restaurant recs, and for the constructive travel feedback.

        1. Not sure if you’ll see this, but thanks for confirming! We’re keeping our plans to go to Kauai and the Big Island.

  4. How often do you journal? Do you do it one spot or in several different places?

    I journaled for the first time in a while this morning and realized I have a paper journal (which I hadn’t written in since 2019), a GoodNotes journal on my iPad, and then a Word doc on my desktop. Feels inefficient but I guess it’s not like I’m going back and rereading old diaries. I maybe journal every 3-6 months.

    1. I journal every couple of weeks. More when life is hard. I have a running Word doc in case I need to journal while at work and a paper journal at home. I rarely go back to re-read so having more than one spot doesn’t bug me.

    3. I’m a lifelong journaler. It’s how I process life. How often I journal ebbs and flows. For instance, I hadn’t written in a month until yesterday, and now I’m compelled to write again today. I actually do find value in reading back in past journals every so often. I don’t always remember how I felt at a certain time in my life, and it’s interesting to revisit those feelings. (For example, I’ll think I haven’t made much progress in therapy, but then I read my diary from a year ago and realize I feel WAY better than I did then).

      I write in a notebook–Rollbahn Large, for the stationery nerds out there– and occasionally in my notes app.

    4. I mostly journal when I need to work through something. If all is good, I tend to not to it. I do use it as a capture for good book quotes or things from podcasts I want to remember too. Always hand written in a paper journal for me!

    5. You would laugh if you saw my journal collection. I have dozens that are complete (full), a few in progress at a time (serving different purposes) and then a good bench of blank journals ready to be used when the existing ones are full. I have been writing since I was in 3rd grade, pretty consistently! The times when I write most frequently (usually daily) it’s the most helpful.

      I have one main all-purpose journal, one for notes on books I have read, and one for a specific project I am working on. Increasingly my favorite notebooks are Leuchturmm because they have numbered pages and 2 different bookmarks.

      Side question for the serious journalers: how do you feel about people possibly reading your stuff after your death? Do you have instructions or a locking system? I have not decided what I think about this.

  5. I’m on a medication that’s causing hair thinning. I’ve done a little research but am overwhelmed with the options. Is Rogaine the move? Supplements? (Stopping the medication is not an option)

    1. A good friend’s sister used a supplement from Amazon when she lost her hair during breast cancer treatment:
      The Mane Choice MANETABOLISM Plus Healthy Hair Growth Vitamins.

    2. Rogaine is worth a try, but doesn’t work for everyone, so keep your expectations low (but you’re not out much $ if it doesn’t). If you color your hair, let your hairdresser know if you’re using any topicals like Rogaine. They can cause odd reactions (ie unexpected results) with hair color.

    3. Nizoral is an anti-dandruff shampoo that can possibly help with hair thinning if you didn’t want to go the route of Rogaine. I know many women take prenatal vitamins or other supplements to help with hair and nail growth only.

    4. No personal experience, but rogaine is proven to work. I’d consider the oral pill (minoxidil) as it sounds more convenient…

    5. Can you discuss with a good pharmacist? (It may be known how and why the medication causes hair thinning and that may affect the recommendation, if the mechanism is inflammatory, endocrine, nutritional, or whatever it is.)

      1. +1

        Agree with this.

        I have hair loss for multiple reasons (yikes!). Iron deficiency, hormonal/genetic (balding on one side of the family and some females inherit a mild form as well) and frontal fibrosing alopecia.

        Be gentle to your hair. Wash it less (2-3x per week), gentle shampoos, don’t brush/pull it back severely or tightly.

        Make sure your vitamins are ok – especially that you aren’t anemic like most of us women. That needs to be corrected if you are. B12, vitamin D, folate are good to check. And then take a supplement.

        Considering taking one of the numerous multivitamins targeting hair loss. I’d recommend the Hair/Skin/Nails from Costco, but if you want to splurge – Nutrafol or Viviscal. My hair dermatologist thought the cheaper Costco one was fine.

        Yes, you could try the topical minoxidil. I thought the foam was easier to apply initially, although the liquid may be less messy once you practice. I hated how it left my hair greasy, especially because I was washing it less. In the end I changed to pill version. But I wouldn’t jump to that unless you are followed by a hair dermatologist and you are certain that it is helping. You have to be careful, as oral minoxidil is actually a very strong anti-hypertensive, so my blood pressure is very low on it. I have to hydrate very well, be careful when I am bending over/squatting/lying down and stand up quickly or I get lightheaded.

        And if it appears that you may have a hormonal contributory to your hair loss, talk to your dermatologist to see if finasteride might be right for you.

        The combination of minoxidil + finasteride (+ topical retinoid) = the strongest anti-aging prescription regimen most middle aged women can be on. This was told to me by my expert academic hair dermatologist. He is outstanding. He’s at Stanford – Dr. Oro.

        Check out the Reddit group for hair loss. You may find someone with hairloss similar to yours.

  6. Do you bring a host gift when you fly across the country to visit/stay with your parents? If so, what kinds of things? Debating whether to get something for our trip next week.

    2. Nah, seeing me is the present! :) I do usually buy something while I am there – takeout or food to grill. (My dad doesn’t like dining out so we always do takeout.) I always do some shopping while I am there at stores not in my area and might pick something up to give them as well, though usually small. For example, my dad is a “use it til its literally in shreds” type of person so last time I was there I grabbed a few new packs of dishtowels to replace the ones you could read a newspaper thru.

      1. This is the way!

        I also try to help with things when I am there. Little projects that they put off, or things that get harder for them when they get older.

        And I still strip my bed and wash the sheets the morning I leave.

    3. I’ve never thought about a host gift for close family.

      I would probably just cook dinner or take them out to dinner one night.

      I live near my parents so we trade off hosting pretty often but they own a vacation house 2 hours from where we all live. I pretty much have unfettered access to it. I don’t do host gifts but just general helping out: cooking, cleaning, picking up groceries, etc.

    4. I live ten minutes away from mine so I’m of little help. However, in my circles often folks bring a local food that isn’t widely available where they’re visiting. I like to bring NY a bagels and a family friend always brought us the “good” Pennsylvania bacon, ect. It doesn’t have to be what your region is known for just a little something they enjoyed from your local coffee shop or bakery.

    5. I probably wouldn’t do it for my parents but I like to send flowers the week before I visit someone. With a note saying “I’m looking forward to our visit”.

    6. No, and I think my parents might be sort of offended if I did, like I felt like I was no longer part of the family and I no longer felt welcome at their house. I do most of the cooking when I’m there, though.

    7. My family’s love language is gifts, so I always bring treats – t-shirts from our town, baked goods/food, activities for the niblings.

  7. Chapter 13 here. My 12th payment will be auto drafted on Monday (because my payment day falls on a weekend). I’m officially one year in! Thank you to all of you who have been so thoughtful and encouraging. I still have 4 years to go, unless I pay extra each month, as I’m in a 100% plan. I’m seriously considering that, but not ready to do it yet as I’m not where I want to be financially with my savings. But cheers to one year down!

    5. Excellent! And think about how much better every other part of your life is, too–you have a better job with higher pay, and you’re in a city, I think? You’ve just made SO much progress, not just on the chapter 13 stuff. Big congrats.

    6. Congratulations! What you’ve accomplished in the past year is inspiring. Thank you for continuing to update us.

    8. Congratulations!

      FWIW, I think that getting your savings into a good place is your best bet. You don’t want a few emergencies to pile up and leave you paying very high interest rates on borrowed money.

  8. I have killed my seagrass dining room rug — too many loose fibers from scrubbing after our COVID puppy’s accidents there and the last one (it has been a year! Must have eaten something he shouldn’t have) has left some stains that look nasty in a dining room.

    The room can handle a 9×12 rug but there is a sideboard along one room so it may look off balance (light is centered in the room and table is under it). Do I want the largest possible rug or one with clearance from the wall opposite the sideboard or the sideboard side? Current rug is 8” wide but was cut for a different room that was narrower.

    Also, if the pooping may continue (dog is 3 now), I guess I need a ruggable and a pattern? Seagrass was bumpy and annoying and not comfy underfoot.

    This decision minutia makes house stuff hard for me. I just want to do this once and not realize that the rug isn’t quite right the hard way. Traditional mahogany table for 6 (expandable to 8). Is used a lot as a homework space and also for dining.

    1. 9×12 ruggable is going to cost you just as much as a cheap rug from RugsUSA. And trust me, it’s a pain to wash. I’d buy a synthetic fiber rug (not wool) from ikea, wayfair, etc and accept pup might take it out in a year or two.

      1. This. We’ve done all the iterations (Ruggable, Flor, RugsUSA, Restoration Hardware, Crate and Barrel, etc.) and have liked the midrange or cheap options best. For us that’s been Annie Selke, Crate and Barrel/West Elm on clearance paired with a good thick rug pad so that accidents don’t soak through to the wood. I’ve accepted that until our cats/dog pass away we can’t get a truly heirloom quality rug.

    2. You want the rug big enough to have space around the table. Ruggable works. You could also try FLOR tiles, which has the benefit of easily adding more “size” if you decide you want it bigger.

    3. You generally want the largest possible rug for any space. You’re aiming to have all he furniture completely on it but at least the front legs. Ruggable usually only goes to 9x 12. Obviously with a dining table you want to be able to pull out chairs and have them remain fully on the rug. Ruggable was, ime, a pain in the neck to get back on the Velcro after washing- I’d be annoyed to move a mahogany dining table and chairs to do that. Flor is also an option-the tiles are scrubbable and replaceable. Antique Turkish rugs on Etsy are reasonably affordable and surprisingly difficult to destroy but it’s got to be your vibe.

    4. Can you paint your current rug with color safe fabric paint, just until your pup gets out of this stage (maybe until 5?) Then you don’t need to worry about sizing until later ;-)

    5. A washable rug, especially at that size, is a huge PITA. You have to move furniture, separate it from the backing, and then after the hassle of washing and drying you have to get it aligned back on the velcro which is challenging.

      If I were you, I’d got to a carpet store and get a carpet bound with waterproof backing. Many stores will have nice, high end patterned options and can make any size you want. My living room carpet is carpet that came bound with a waterproof backing so I just shampoo it in place with my little carpet cleaner. So much easier.

    6. Wool cleans much, much better than a man made fiber if you get a real rug and not a ruggable. Any chance you would want to lean into that dining set and get a traditional Persian rug? It would clean very well and to whatever extent there could be a minor stain left it is just sort of subsumed into the pattern. I have a ruggable in my kitchen and am pretty meh on the surface finish on it, although it serves its function well in the kitchen. It absolutely looks more like a mat than a rug up close.

        1. In my area, lesser to mid-range antique malls will usually have some. They may be “vintage” instead of antique, but unless you are a connoisseur of rugs, it shouldn’t make much difference that it’s 50 years old instead of 150 years old.

          With that said, yes, hand-tied, large, genuine, and antique is going to be majorly $$$$$. If you can pay the price, it’s still good bang for the buck since it will last for generations. As for vintage, that can pay off in the long run as well – I’m third generation in my family to use my big living room rug that was just old not antique when my grandmother bought it in the 1940s.

    7. I have found my knotted wool rugs are the easiest to clean w/pets. Make sure to use enzyme cleansers!

    8. Poor puppy! I bought a bissell green machine with the pet cleaner – it is really great for cleanups (my dog vomited with some regularity when he was younger).

    9. If you opt for the second-hand Persian rug, try to avoid a center medallion design if your dining room table and overhead light will be off-center due to your sideboard.

  9. Does anyone know where the heck to find out if Ally CDs are callable? They have a 5% 18-month one right now and everything higher than that at Vanguard and elsewhere is callable.

    1. The 18 month 5.0% CDs at Ally do have an early withdrawal penalty. But they have 4.55% ones with no early withdrawal. I am assuming that’s what callable means.

    2. 3-month T-bill rates are higher than most CDs right now. If you have a Schwab (or Fidelity) account, you can buy these, and roll them every three months, and not tie up your money for 18 mos. That’s what I’m doing!

  10. What are your favorite small pick-me-ups? I feel like I’m dragging myself through the motions every day lately. What little things can I do to try to snap out of this?

    1. Make plans after work, whether it’s with friends or family or just with yourself. Days are long so that even if you work longer hours, there should still be some daylight left. I’d do something outside, like a walk to a bakery to buy a loaf of bread for breakfast tomorrow.

    2. I’m getting a much needed manicure at a salon that has drinks tomorrow. I’ve been working 12 hour days so I need a little pampering.

      1. Oooh, that sounds really nice. I should find one that does that.
        I’m starting to treat myself to breakfast and/or a fancy latte Friday mornings. I drive by a cute place every day so I might as well help keep them in business!

    3. Pedicures
      Massages – If I’m trying to keep the cost low, just a 20-30 minute one
      Browsing the local bookstore, buying a new book, then sitting at the bar reading and having a drink/small meal solo

    5. -Go for a walk in nature. Something about trees, birdsong, and a trickling spring are really calming.
      -Paint your nails.
      -Buy and eat some comfort food. Bread products, french fries from your favorite fast food place, mac and cheese, chocolate, whatever. There’s a reason it’s called comfort food. Alternatively, buy and eat some fresh, in-season produce. Corn on the cob, plums, peaches, etc. are all in season right now.
      -Buy (or borrow from the library) a new book. If you like reading, you probably also like browsing the book aisles!
      -FaceTime or call a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in awhile.
      -Do a Thing that’s been on your list (maybe make it a small one). Clean that sticky shelf in the fridge, pull a few things out of your overstuffed closet to donate, sort through a stack of mail, etc. You’ll get a nice sense of accomplishment and keep your brain focused on a discrete task for a few minutes instead of ruminating.
      -Kitchen/living room/bedroom dance party. Pull up some good 80s or 90s tunes and rock out for a few songs!
      -Plan something. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ve read that planning a vacation is as soothing as taking one. So plan a dinner with friends, a hiking trip, a weekend away, whatever fits your schedule and budget.
      -Window shop at some stores you would never buy anything in (like teen focused stores or maybe higher end than what you typically buy) and laugh at the styles (are teens really wearing the 90s again?!) or the prices.

    6. I have just read this article about “glimmers”https://www.stylist.co.uk/health/mental-health/glimmers-how-to-spot/814102

  11. Who are your favorite influencers or bloggers that don’t have kids? I’m trying to change my social media feed to include more of them. Thanks!

    1. So not a traditional ‘influencer’ but I’m obsessed with Daniel Kanter restoring all his old properties.

        1. You will never want to escape. Daniel and his partner both have amazing skills and design style and their houses are so good.

  12. Do you prefer Banana Republic Factory or J Crew Factory and why? JCF has long been my go-to for work staples, but lately I feel the quality has declined. I’m also getting a bit old for their aesthetic I think. I bought some shirts from BRF on a whim and they’re real wfh workhorses. We’ll see how they hold up.

    2. BRF because I don’t care for JCF styles. I got a few great tops (some for the office , done for weekends) from BRF earlier this summer and I’m loving them.

    3. I bought one dress at BRF (recommended here I think) and it was so cheap feeling and ill fitting that I immediately donated it. Maybe they have better options but after that experience I have no desire to try them.

      I like JCF for basics and more casual work stuff. I haven’t noticed an issue with quality lately beyond the fact that I haven’t liked their sweaters in years and their adult tshirts always get holes quickly so I stopped buying both.

      1. BRF fabrics are hit or miss. I’m lucky to have a brick and mortar store nearby. Some of the items are great but a lot of it is scratchy, wrinkle-prone synthetics. Ordering online would be a gamble.

    4. Neither. ATF is my go-to for years. I have donated many impulse buys from BRF and JCF factory because they don’t fit right or are cheaply made.

  13. I have a job interview coming up for a role that would be completely in office. I’ve been WFH for three years now, and the thought of being in office full time again is a little daunting. But the job would be great. Obviously don’t want to get ahead of myself here as it’s only an interview, but does anyone who has transitioned from WFH to full time in office have words of wisdom or encouragement about making the switch? I guess I mostly hear about people who hate returning to the office and I’m looking for a different perspective.

    1. I like being back in the office! I’m only required to be here 3 days a week, but I’m happily in five days a week. Some big caveats about this – one, my entire commute, from walking out my front door to my butt being in my desk chair, is 15 minutes. Two, I work in real estate, so a good portion of what I do is looking at surveys/pictures of properties. If there’s something “weird” about the way a property is drawn and I want another opinion, it’s so much easier to walk down the hall and look at the survey/document together, rather than trying to describe it over the phone. I also work with a lot of old recorded documents/deeds that are of poor quality and are hard read on the computer, so I print a lot of stuff. I also still deal with a lot of original documents/signatures. It’s so much easier to print at the office and d get large surveys/site plans printed. Three, 90% of the people I work with are also in the office, so it’s not a situation where I come into an office and then am just in an empty space and in video calls with people who work remotely. Four, I have a ton of flexibility about working remotely. I have been having some back pain this week and worked from home yesterday, it was no big deal.

    2. I’m in a hybrid role rn because I have young kids. I actually don’t love it because on days I wfh I feel like I didn’t fully work or fully take care of personal matters. Being in the office full time would really focus my energy, I think. Here are some things I love about in-office days:
      1) I’m up early, fully dressed and put together within 30 minutes of waking.
      2) My commute is “me time” (often the only me time I get because I prioritize sleep). I listen to whatever I want, call friends, or enjoy some silence.
      3) DH has to figure out dinner on days I’m in the office. I think it’s good for him. Plus he’s a good cook so everybody benefits.
      4) It’s easier for me to get to the gym if I go to the one by my office during lunch. I realize you may not have this option.
      5) if I’m being brutally honest, on days I’m in the office I’m not around my kids for as long, so I enjoy them more.
      6) I enjoy trying different restaurants around my office. It’s a bit of a treat as we don’t eat out with our three small kids.
      7) I enjoy talking to other adults in the office.
      Those a the pros I can think of offhand. Congrats on the interview!

    3. I did WFH for several years when I had a dedicated home office, and it was OK (I could close the door when I was done with work), but for my mental and emotional health, it truly is better for me to get up, get dressed in an actual outfit, and get out of the house. Plus, all those small side interactions happen when I’m in the same place with people that wouldn’t happen otherwise.
      I rarely talk about enjoying working in an office because people are so vocal about disliking it. But I truly prefer it. I work so much better and am more focused when I’m in my office at work versus my desk at home. And i love not having my work and home blur together as much.

    4. It was hard for me at first. I couldn’t remember how I got out the door on time everyday lol.But like anything else, I figured out a routine and settled in. I prefer working in the office most of the time now. It makes it much easier for me to have some separation from work and home life and I like my co-workers and like being around them.

      1. Same. When I work from home now I feel less productive because I’m no longer “in work mode” when I’m at home and I think this is good thing — I think being “in work mode” while at home when you have a job where the work is infinite is a stressor in itself.

    5. I went back to the office for the first time since COVID in June and I was not particularly looking forward to it, but I LOVE it. I am only required to be in 2 days a week, but I go in 3 days a week, sometimes 4. I really enjoy being around my colleagues, it’s much easier to connect with people. It’s also easier to help mentor and train my new staff. I get more done at the office- it’s easier to be in “work” mode when I’m there than when I’m at home. I also have a more normal schedule at the office and have a more set separation between work and life. I don’t currently have a home office, just a desk in the corner of the living room (that will be changing soon- I’m in a temporary apartment, I’ve gone back and forth over COVID between having and not having an office) and it’s REALLY hard to feel like work is “done” when my desk is RIGHT there in my living room.

  14. PSA: I have the pants featured above and I love them. I bought them in dark gray a while ago and just ordered them in navy and black today. 40% off today on everything.

      1. They’re heavy, stretchy double knit. So not flowy but not crispy and hard, either.

        1. They’re heavy, stretchy double knit. So not flowy but not crispy and hard, either.

    2. This is a good sale.

      I am going to get one of the black jean jackets – all jean jackets on sale for $18.

  15. Any air fryer cookbooks to recommend?

    And do they work well if they offer roasting and broiling options? I don’t want to melt anything by accident if it heats up on the outside of the air fryer also.

    1. Honestly? I find that I just have to experiment with every recipe, with every setting.

      My Oven has tons of options including air fryer.
      I have a countertop microwave that is also an oven/roaster/air fryer.

      Every single thing I cook in either is an experiment and requires adjustment for that sized/type of food, the best way to cook it etc…

      I listen to the food podcast Milk Street Radio. They have a part of the podcast where people call in and ask for advice with various cooking problems. The host mentioned as an aside…. “never trust cooking times/temperatures”…. which is a lesson I seemed to still have not learned, and which makes me crazy. Never trust a recipe.

    2. Every air fryer I had was a little bit different as far as temp and heating options, so I’d just experiment with cooking things. Also, most of them do get warm on the outside even on their normal functioning, so I keep them away from everything.

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