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Updated: May 31, 2022 320 Comments · by

Workwear Hall of Fame: Perfect Blouse

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Workwear Hall of Fame | · · · · · ·

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Update: This reader favorite blouse for work is included in the Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale — select colors are marked as low as $34.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

NYDJ has been making some version of this blouse for years, and it’s become a staple in my closet. It’s machine-washable, has sleeves, and is long enough to be tucked into a pencil skirt during the week or worn over skinny jeans/leggings on the weekends. A total dream! I love this “chili pepper” color for brightening up a navy or black suit.

This top is $89 at Nordstrom, where it's available in sizes 1X–3X in 15 (!) colors and prints. The same blouse is also available in straight and petite sizes, although in fewer colors. Perfect Blouse

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Update: We're adding this blouse to our Workwear Hall of Fame because it's been around for years, keeps coming out in new colors and fabrics, and getting rave reviews from all size ranges. 

Hunting for more of our favorite blouses for work?

Image of 5 plus-size women wearing 1) a crisp popover blouse with collar 2) a crisp button-front blouse with 3/4 sleeves 3) a silky button-front dress with a notched V-neck but no collar, 4) a silky popover blouse with a V-neck, and 5) a crisp popover blouse with a collar
Pictured, some of the best plus-size workwear blouses as of 2022: one / two / three / four / five (you may also want to check out our roundup of dress shirts for women with large breasts)

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.  

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. Ellen

    Elizabeth, I love this blouse! And it’s at Nordstrom’s, so I can go with Rosa on Saturday, but you should also note that women who are pregnant can also wear this blouse in the early month’s w/o any people becoming convinced they are carrying a baby! YAY!!!

  2. Anon

    I love this blouse (I think it used to be called the pleat-back henley blouse?). I often hesitate over buying it because it’s a lot of money for a piece of polyester but it really is a great workhorse.

    • Trixie

      I have 4 of these tops! They are often on 6pm for less $$$.

      They are worth the money–they hold up well over time, wash well, and are very versatile. I love them for travel.

      • Anon

        Thanks for the tip re: 6 pm. Not sure about spending almost $90 for a polyester top, but they are very gorgeous.

    • Anon

      Third-ing these tops. I have 3 colors, they’re a great “I have nothing to wear” piece. Easy to dress up or down. I got mine at Nordstrom Rack for pretty cheap!

    • Anonymous

      I have this shirt in purple, and I got some oily spot on it that I can’t get out :(

      • Anon.

        If it hasn’t been in the dryer with that spot on yet, you might be able to put cornstarch on the grease spot and let it sit for a few days. Then wash as usual. That usually works for me.

      • A

        Dawn dish soap or baby shampoo gets out grease on most things, sometimes takes two attempts

  3. Patricia Gardiner

    Housewarming ideas? I will be visiting a dear childhood friend who bought her first house about a year ago- it’s an old farmhouse on a large property. I would really like to get something to celebrate this stage of life- she has a partner but they will not be getting married, not planning on having children, so has not had traditional milestones marked by gift showers etc. I have often read advice to get a Home Depot gift card, but would like something more personal (perhaps in addition to a gift card). She loves the outdoors, dogs, kayaking, and skiing. Thank you for any suggestions!

    • Anemone

      Depending on how much you want to spend, what about a decorative tree for outside? (You said she has a large property, so I’m assuming there is room to work with.) It’s like an upgraded version of “congrats on the house, here’s a potted plant”. When my parents built their home, I bought my mom a Japanese maple, which she planted right by the front door.

      • Gail the Goldfish

        I, for one, would love a decorative tree if I had room to plant it. Or, if they live in the right climate, a fruit tree of some sort. In the same vein, a nice planter with some sort of plant? Good planters can be expensive.

        • anon

          I would highly recommend a big glazed planter if you know her favorite color/house color. Good for those who love to garden, because they can work it into a bigger scheme; good for those just dabbling because it’s not too much to handle. I think this might be my go-to housewarming gift, now, although I never thought of it before.

      • anonymouse

        This is really lovely! What a great gift from you to your mother.

        OP: depending on your budget and her taste in decor, have you thought about commissioning or buying a hand made throw or quilt for her living area? I have made a few quilts for friends (or their new babies) in the past and while it’s labor intensive for me, they typically appreciate having a one of a kind gift. I’ll write a short message to the recipient on a back corner of the quilt in a fabric marker sometimes as well.

        • BabyAssociate

          Love the tree idea and the quilt idea! Everyone loves quilts for the couch. Everyone.

          • Anonymous

            I don’t. I love quilts and love the handcraft of them. I’ve gone to quilt shows. Sadly, I do not like the look of them as a decoration and WOULD NOT want one on my couch. Love them as art, just not in my home. (Makes knowing what to do with those that have been handed down to me as heirlooms difficult.) You’ll know, I”m guessing, whether your friend’s taste leans quilt-friendly or not.

          • anon

            Also not a quilt fan for the living room. I can only really imagine that I’d like one out regularly in the nursery. And I grew up with a mother who made beautiful quilts.

          • BabyAssociate

            Do you never get cool sitting on the couch and want a blanket?! I don’t mean to permanently display on the couch, but I like to sit under a blanket on the couch while watching TV or whatnot.

          • Anonymous

            Maybe we mean something different by”quilt.” I use that word for a blanket with a pieced top made of different fabrics cut into small shapes, quilted with stitching to an under-layer and bottom later; usually made of cotton or woven fabrics. When I get cold sitting on the couch, I want something to cover up with, I reach for a soft and comfy afghan, fleece, or throw — smaller than a blanket, sometimes handmade, sometimes not. Often soft and luxurious, chosen to look good with the furniture and room colors.

          • LaurenB

            No, not everyone. I don’t like quilts at all. I appreciate the craftsmanship but they look dumpy and farmhouse-like to me.

    • Anonymous

      I’d wait until you’ve seen the property, and then give her a plant for the garden. A rose bush or a lilac or a peony. And even talk to her about it! “I would so love to give you a plant for your beautiful home, would that be okay?”

      • Original Moonstone

        Yes, maybe you could go to a local nursery together to pick one out? I was so broke for the year after I bought my house that I couldn’t spend anything on plants, so I would have loved that.

    • Laura B

      This is so thoughtful! Agree with an outdoor plant being a perfect gift. My mother frequently gives us outdoor plants for anniversaries and we really enjoy them. Blueberry bushes and lilacs (in our region) were favorites of ours. (were, because we sold our house and now will have to start over…:))

      I also always love a good houseplant in a nice planter too! It’s the kind of thing that I have a hard time buying myself but LOVE to have.

    • Patricia Gardiner

      I love the tree or plant idea! Quilt is also an awesome idea, I haven’t planned far enough ahead though. Thank you!!

    • emeralds

      One housewarming gift I saw mentioned on here a while ago, that stuck in my head for some reason (maybe because I’m neck-deep in addressing thank-you cards?)–a tasteful personalized stamp with her address.

      • Anon

        I have one of these and I love it – good idea that it would make a good gift. It is so useful & I get satisfaction from just stamping out my return address on an envelope in a pretty script every time.

  4. Anon

    How do you cope with an extreme busy season? Usually in my industry, they last a week max. Due to some strange circumstances we’ve been in ours since June. We found out yesterday that we should expect to be working 12+ hour days, 6-7 days a week for the next 6+ weeks. We’re a small office and working at this pace is truly unsustainable. The bosses understand but their hands are tied.

    I was already on the fast track to burn out. Finding out that we’re ramping up was a tough pill to swallow. I feel like I’ve already been white knuckling through this summer, I don’t know how I’m gonna get through the fall. I work in the public sector so my budget is already tight so I can’t just outsource.

    I’m trying to balance this insane work schedule, training for a half marathon, GRE studying, family obligations (I had been helping an ill family member for a few hours a week), household chores, and my personal life (I’m a huge extrovert so I’ll get very down if I can’t see friends). I know somethings gotta give…

    • LawyrChk

      That really stinks. You’re right, something has got to give. If it were me, I might postpone the half marathon (may just 30 minutes 3 days a week to keep fitness and sanity, but no long runs), cut back on family obligations to every other week, and do the bare minimum of household chores. Can you plan a few days off for when the busy period ends to rest and catch up on things? You will get through this.

    • CPA Laday

      When I’m working 70-80 hour weeks for an extended period of time the following goes out the window:
      -exercise
      -studying
      -family time
      -friend time
      -cooking
      -cleaning

      What is left is
      -working
      -sleeping
      -eating food that comes out of a package
      -dark humor alternated with crying
      -clothing that is soft and stretchy
      -a countdown clock
      -knowing that this too shall pass, and that all the things in the above list will be waiting for me when it’s over

      • Anonymous

        This is a really good list to have in mind, for everyone in difficult jobs. And if the “what is left” list horrifies you when you think about your life, it’s time to consider switching.

    • anon

      I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there, too — am still there, really. Also a public sector employee.

      I would nix the half-marathon training right now. Not only is it a big time commitment, it may be wearing out your physical reserves at the time you need them most for other things. Maybe shoot for a spring half marathon instead?

      Whatever fills you up right now is what deserves your focus. Definitely spend time with friends. I would keep helping with the family member. But really, you need to prioritize sleep and well-being, not extras like the GRE or marathon training.

    • Anonymous

      Voice of dissent. I’d put the GRE studying on hold and keep going with the half marathon training. If I stop working out, my energy reserves plummet. I hate when people always say to get rid of exercise first. Your health comes first. Now, I get that exercising for health and half marathon training aren’t the same thing, and maybe you’d be okay with a compromise, and that’s cool, too. But don’t just give up exercise.

      • Anon

        I totally get that logically I should not study for the GRE right now. However, if I can’t take the GRE this fall this pushes back going to grad school for an entire year which sucks.

        I also agree that I should keep working out but that training for the half is a bit much. But, I’m already registered and would love to not waste the $150 I paid for it

        • Anon

          If you need to take the GRE this fall, don’t let the studying go. Don’t put grad school on hold because you work at a crappy place now. (I’m sorry, but I strongly believe that if you work in the public sector or any other low paying field, and they expect 70-80 hour weeks for months on end, you work at a crappy place. This is not biglaw, you are not being compensated to give up your life for your employer.)

          • anon

            Agree whole-heartedly. Don’t sacrifice your life on their/its behalf. I would drop the half-marathon training, though. You might contact them with a sob story to see if there is any way to apply your registration fee to a different race.

          • Nope

            Agree completely with this. I also work for the government. There is no way I would sacrifice any of my personal life to work 70-80 hour weeks for the government. They do not pay me enough to do that. If they have this much work, they need to hire more people, and that is not your problem. Do your job in the hours that they pay you for, and then leave. Maybe stay an hour late here and there if you are feeling super generous. But any work you do beyond 40/wk for the gov is just you giving up your time for free. Don’t do it. Your time is a commodity that they must pay you for.

          • The original Scarlett

            100% this, don’t put your life on hold for a crummy job. Prioritize your career, you don’t own the company – let the boss hire more people, this isn’t your issue to solve.

        • Anon

          Would you be able to take the GRE in the winter? Your life will be busy through the end of September. From there, you can continue with your half training and your GRE studying, and a winter GRE should put you in good shape for grad school in the fall.

          Then again, I also vote to put the GRE on hold and continue to run. You don’t need to run a whole lot – just 3-4 days a week, get in the miles, and make one of those a long run. The goal is to get the endorphins going, get some fresh air, and put yourself in a position to finish without being in a huge amount of pain.

        • Anonymous

          Don’t fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy. You’ve already paid the $150 and are not getting it back either way. Your decision about whether to continue with the half-marathon training should be about the cost to you now (time), not what you’ve already invested.

          • Anon

            +1. The sunk cost fallacy is in major play here. I agree with the other posters that you should ditch the half marathon, but keep exercising.

        • Anon

          What about giving up the idea that this is training but try to run even a little bit 2-3 days a week and then enter the half marathon and just go as far as feels good? The endorphins of a race can surprise you. Even if you like 5-6 miles, that’s still a great accomplishment and the minimal exercise along the way may Help with the stress of your current phase.

          • Anonymous

            This is a good point. I injured my knee three weeks before my second half marathon. I ran the first 6 miles, walked most of the rest, and even though my finish time was not what I had hoped for when I first started training, I was proud of myself for finishing. Participating, even if you can’t train the way you would’ve hoped, can still give you something to look forward to and a sense of accomplishment/boost of positivity during this tough time at work.

      • anon

        Nobody is saying get rid of exercise. They’re saying get rid of half-marathon training. Big difference.

        • Senior Attorney

          Or you could, you know, just half-ass the half marathon. Show up and do what you can do without training. I’m not a runner so I don’t know if that’s even possible, but if it is, why not?

          • Biggest Balls in the Room

            This. Either give up training completely or go into low gear with it. I’ve run several half marathons. (You need to train for that). I’ve also run/walked several half marathons. Totally doable without training.

          • Anon

            It really depends on what your base is. If you’re in decent physical shape already, you can get away with running twice a week (for about 3 miles each) and one long run over the weekend, slowly building mileage. Your time won’t be great, and you have to really work to pace yourself (I recommend walking a half mile every two miles), but it’s doable.

    • Anon

      When are you planning to take the GRE? When do you need to take it for your applications? Assuming you have some time, I would put that and the half marathon training on hold. I would also significantly lower your standards for cleaning and cooking. When you are working 70-80 hours a week is the time to get by doing the bare basics in the other areas of your life.

    • Anon

      Can you combine anything to make your obligations more efficient? Listening to audio GRE study material while running, or invite a couple of friends over to a group meal-prep session? Maybe you can ask other relatives to step in and help your ill family member for a while?

      It’s okay to ask for some help when you’re having an especially hard time, especially if you know it’s temporary. Could you confide in a friend or two? If a good friend of mine was like “I’m pretty overwhelmed right now and could really use some friend time. Could you come over for dinner and help me [socially recharge/run through flashcards/talk about anything but work while I do laundry]?” I’d do my best to be there for them.

    • Anon

      Do you have to study for the GRE? If you need a high quantitative score, I think studying can make a big difference. But if you just need an overall high score or a high verbal score, maybe you should begin by taking a practice test and seeing if you’re fine as it is?

      • Anon

        Agreed. Really consider if you can take the GRE cold. Maybe even schedule one in the next couple of weeks just to get a feel for your score. Not just a practice test – the real deal! I took this approach and I ended up applying with my that score (and was accepted to my target program).
        You know your academic strengths and weaknesses, and you know the programs that you’re applying to… this may not be a feasible option! But it’s worth considering. Studying after a grueling work day isn’t just unpleasant, it’s also not very productive.
        You only live once… don’t let this crappy job destroy your happiness. Cut the studying if you can and delay the half marathon for sure (but keep exercising, it’ll keep you sane!). You’ll pull through and come out stronger on the other side!

        • Anonymous

          +1. The GRE, like the SAT, is a test where a little bit of practice can help a lot by familiarizing you with the test format and basic strategy. It takes a LOT of studying to raise your score beyond that initial bump, and most people aren’t going to put in that kind of time whether they are busy at work or not.

      • NOLA

        I know I’m old and took the GRE many years ago, but I didn’t study at all and did fine. The only thing I needed (which I pulled out of my a$$) was geometry and algebra.

    • Anon

      Honestly, I think you can push back a little. Your bosses’ hands are truly not tied, though they’d like you to think they are. I’d ask about overtime pay or expensing working meals. Express your concern about the workload not being sustainable.

    • Irish Midori

      Ultimately, if this is the new normal, I think the thing that needs to give is your job. Look for one where they staff and manage projects responsibly. I know you said this is a weird outlier, but if it starts to look like a pattern, it’s not a healthy place to live.

        • Anonymous

          Concur, and also agree with the advice above about what they’re paying vs. what they’re expecting.
          Early in my career I got into a job that expected insane work hours for low pay. I was told it was temporary, they were going to be hiring more people and workloads would shift, etc. After 10 months of working 60 hour weeks for an insanely tiny salary I finally figured out it wasn’t going to change – and I was right. After asking around I figured out the company’s M.O. was to hire people, tell them the situation was temporary and help was on the way, work them into burnout, watch them quit, and then hire the next sucker who came along. OP, don’t be that sucker. Do what you need to do but rather than run the half-marathon or study for the GRE, I would make sure you are reserving enough energy to look for a new job.
          Also, are your managers going to be putting in these kinds of hours, or just expecting you and your coworkers to do that? My principle in these situations is I will work as much as my managers work. When they leave, I leave. If they’re there extended hours, fine. If they expect me to work extended hours but they leave at 5 – I’m not staying. I learned that lesson the hard way also.

    • Anon

      OP here, trust me. In normal circumstances I’m a huge proponent of not killing yourself for your job since your job won’t kill itself for you. However, this is a very real life and death situation we’re working on and so exceptions have to be made.

      There will eventually be overtime / comp time but there’s a hold up with HR for that. They’re trying to hire additional staff but that’ll be at least a few more weeks. The directive to be staffed 24/7 is coming from leadership above my agency. It’s just one of those sucky but unavoidable situations.

      • hiring?

        Maybe post a throw-away address here and your area or if the work can be done remotely. Some post here looking for work, maybe this could help everyone.

        Also, let the house cleaning go, see if you can do laundry while caring for the relative (to combine how you spend that time), and take the practice GRE right away. That will tell you if you need to study and what to study so you can maximize your time. Listen to GRE prep while running to maximize that time too or, if you need running as a life break, use that time to see if you can run with friends to maximize time.

        Essentially, prioritize what must happen for future and current success. I completely get it that $150 is a lot of money for some of us. Call the marathon people, if you explain that you are caring for an ailing relative and such, they may let you move the fee to a later race. Can’t hurt to ask.

        Right now, eat out of packages or order meal service as needed. If you have friends who recharge you, ask them to help you. Maybe they can share food they prepare or meal prep with you. Maybe they can spend time with you while you do laundry rather than while out, so you can do both at the same time.

        Ask for help and let your friends know what’s going on. No one can help if they don’t know! <3

    • Anonymous

      Good advice about the GRE – try not to delay graduate school by a year.

      Two of us, “mature” students living near each other, got to know one another. Towards the end of our respective Ph.D.s + other commitments also on overload, every week or so one or other of us used to cook/order multiple portions of meals or treats and leave the extra portions at the door of the other. It wasn’t just not having to cook that evening but getting a few extra minutes to start laundry etc., but also it was having a meal one hasn’t planned. Is there anyone you can do this with?

    • Ele

      I’ve been there and it’s so tough (working FT, studying for the GMAT, and training for a marathon during an acquisition). I would keep up the half training, but consider a light mileage training plan with shorter long runs and lighter mileage during the week. You really don’t need to run more than 9 or 10 miles in prep. I would schedule smaller studying sessions when you can, typically at night before bed as a wind down as well. I typically did my long runs Saturday mornings, showered, did personal stuff, then scheduled studying or practice tests afterwards. It’s a season, albeit long, but maybe cut back on other social commitments and put them on the backburner until this cools off.

  5. Irish Midori

    I’m still obsessed with those tortoise shell pumps from the other day. Has anyone seen any tortoise flats lately at a good price? I think the pointy-toe or almond toe ones look best. I’ve seen a few pics, but they seem to be all old and out of stock. Or they are Cole Haan or Prada or something. I’m looking for something a little less brandy (and priced accordingly).

  6. Anon

    Last month, due to an emergency and some bad planning, I could not pay my credit card bill in full. I will be able to do so by the time the bill is due this month, but I can only pay half now. If I pay half now and the rest when the bill is due, will that make a difference in how much interest I pay? If it doesn’t, I’d prefer to keep the extra cash in checking until it’s time to pay the bill. The total amount is large so the interest charges will be non-negligible.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a little confused. Is it A or B?

      A- spent 1k in June, payment was due Aug 1, you didn’t pay that bill, could either pay half now or all Sept 1? If that’s the case, yes, you will pay less interest if you pay half now.

      B- spent 1k in July, bill due sept 1, you can’t afford to pay it all now. You’re fine, wait and pay it all on the due date.

    • Anon

      Yes, pay what you can now. The interest is calculated based on the daily outstanding balance, so you will pay significantly less in interest if you pay half the bill off now.

      • anon

        This is generally true, though subject to the clarification asked by 9:48. Most cards provide a “grace period” on interest from the time the charge was incurred until the next bill due date.

    • Anonymous

      Pay what you can, the interest is based on the balance and paying more principal = lower interest.

    • Anon

      If this is your first time being late, call the company and ask them to waive the interest as a courtesy. They usually do it once.

        • Alanna of Trebond

          Sometimes they waive the interest too! I have done this multiple times.

      • Anonymous

        Not the OP but I think she said she paid the bill on time but couldn’t pay the full balance. So no late fee applies.

  7. Anonymous

    I am trying to cut back on dairy to see if it helps with my acne. I eat a lot of string cheese and yogurt for lunch/snacks because they’re individually portioned and quick and easy. Any suggestions for non-dairy substitutions that are equally quick/convenient but not terrible for you? I already eat a lot of fruit, so trying to find something other than that.

    • editor

      Those little humusses that come packaged with pretzels? Squeezable guacamole packs?

    • anon

      – Individual packets of almonds or other nuts
      – Dried fruit
      – I sometimes buy a bag of sugar snap peas and snack on those right out of the bag. They don’t need to be refrigerated all day.

    • Anonymous

      Veggies with hummus or guac? You can get individual-sized portions of the dips.

    • Z

      Packets of microwave oatmeal.
      Look for low sugar ones though, or buy a big package of plain quick oats and portion it out for the week. Add peanut butter, fruit, and nuts as desired.

      • Anonymous

        There’s lots of plain microwave oatmeal. You don’t need a big package to have no sugar.

    • Non-dairy

      There are non-dairy yogurts made of coconut milk, cashew milk and almond milk. Look for SO, Forager, or Kite Hill brands.

      • AZCPA

        I have tried nearly all of them, and not only do they taste super sugary (gross), the nutritional value is nearly zero, nothing like the foods she’d subbing for.

    • Ms B

      TJ’s seaweed snacks, regular or wasabi. Even if you eat the entire package, it’s only 60 calories. Also packages of freeze-dried veg (available at Target). The peas, corn and edamame are good and keep a long time sealed in an office drawer. I also like carrot chips, pre-portioned into small containers when I bring them home. They last a long time.

    • BabyAssociate

      I really like Epic jerky, if you’re specifically looking for protein.

    • anonymouse

      Ideas: non diary yogurt, peanut butter (or peanut butter and honey!), egg salad and crackers, tuna salad and crackers, hummus of all flavors and crackers or veg, potato salad. Spring rolls with peanut or chili dipping sauce.
      When I tried to negate dairy from my diet I missed ‘creamy’ things (even though I don’t drink milk or eat yogurt, cottage cheese or any of the ‘soft’ cheeses). I never found a non dairy cheese that I enjoyed. I ate a lot of Indian curries, and Thai during that time.

    • Anon Fellow Snacker

      You could try some of the non-dairy yogurts that are on the market now. I know I’ve seen some soy and coconut versions. Nuts or roasted soybeans/chickpeas. Tuna with precut veggies or crackers. (Chicken of the Sea has flavored snack packs that you don’t need to add anything too. They even have a little fork built into the lid. Mary’s Seed Crackers are super tasty and lower carb). Peanut or almond butter with celery sticks and apple slices. You could try some of the healthier (lower salt/sugar) individually wrapped jerky or energy bars like Lara, Epic, etc.

      If you have a little bit of extra time on the weekend you can hard boil some eggs or pop some corn and portion it out into ziplock bags. Use something like coconut oil instead of butter, and you can sprinkle it with spices, nutritional yeast, etc to jazz it up.

    • anonymous

      Hard boiled eggs. Cheap, easy, keep for a while, and if you don’t over cook them actually quite good. Non-dairy yogurts don’t have enough protein to be reasonable substitutes for me.

      • Anonymous

        Yes! HB eggs are delicious; especially if dipped in soy sauce (trick I learned from my Asian friend). All that umami flavor is waaaaay better than simply salt & pepper.

    • anon

      I’m doing an elimination diet (and hating it, but giving it a chance). RxBar makes little packages of almond butter with a half a date and vanilla added for flavor that are awesome with apples. If you’re already eating a lot of fruit, maybe combine one of those with a half an apple as a snack? It gets at the protein and fat you were getting with the dairy (though less fat, probably). A half of a sliced avocado with a sliced tomato (both topped with salt and pepper) are also good, depending on whether you have access to a cutting board.

      • anon

        Oh, also, Marconi almonds, and salami slices. Both require you to portion yourself but I easily overeat and haven’t had an issue with either of those–maybe the almonds are salty enough and the salami is flavorful enough to prevent feeling like I need to eat a whole package?

    • Anon

      I was in your shoes about 1.5 years ago. I discovered that my daily Greek yogurt breakfast was causing my acne. Good news, no more acne (for the most part). Bad news, haven’t found a totally perfect substitute. I do avocado on a piece of bread with salt, pepper, turmeric. Sometimes I get fancy and add fresh arugula. I found it to be just as filling as Greek yogurt and not as hard to plan out as other options.

  8. Abby

    Someone from Direct Energy came to my front door yesterday and I signed up for a “lock in gas price” through the company which they said should lower my bill because the cost per unit of gas will lock me in to the price in the summer vs the winter price which is higher. I asked my neighbors: it doesn’t appear to be a scam so I was willing to try for a few months to see if there was a difference in my bill. Has anyone done this or heard of this? There is no cancellation fee and I can cancel at any time, which made me less wary

    • Worry about yourself

      I don’t have all the information so I urge you to do some research beyond asking your neighbors, because where I live this is widely understood to be a scam.

    • Anon

      That still seems like a scam to me. Why would they have a system where all you had to do was sign up in the summer to save money, without you agreeing to do anything? When I’m trying to figure out whether something is a scam, I consider what benefit the company would get from it? IME, companies don’t generally do stuff just to be a nice guy.

      Is Direct Energy your energy provider? In my area, you can get your energy directly from the main company or from alternative companies that are processed through the main company. There are a lot of scams in my area where the alternative companies will come and try to get you to sign up with them claiming lower costs, when all it does is raise your price.

      • Abby

        That’s what I was thinking through, I called my dad to ask how they would make money, and he said it’s not a scam, and then some other explanation that was too early for me to fully understand. Our gas company is Consumer Energy. I’ll give them a call to ask. Thanks! I feel like a fool haha

        • anon

          I’m reaching here, but I’m thinking their benefit might be an evening out of their revenue stream. If you think your dad has experience with this set-up (because he’s lived in the same area of the country, perhaps?), I’d try asking him again to see if you can make sense of the setup.

          • Anon

            That makes sense if you agree to pay $x amount every month, regardless of what your usage is. That could end up being a good deal or a bad deal, depending on the weather. But that doesn’t sound like what OP signed up for. My understanding was just that she locked in a price of $x per unit.

          • Abby

            So I just called CE, it locks in my price per unit, which COULD be lower than what I’d receive in the winter, but they actually never told me the price, so they could charge me something ridiculous. It’s not a typical “steal your info” scam, but after the year I’m locked in, they can charge me anything they want apparently. Thanks for all the input!

    • anon

      I am not a homeowner but I distinctly remember my parents doing this with our oil supplier when i was growing up (90s and 00s). It was an effort for the company to even out their cash flow and get some liquidity before they had to make a big purchase of oil in the fall and winter. I believe my parents locked in a volume at a given price, so they had to pay market prices if they ran out towards the end of the winter and had already used all their volume. On the flip side, they were also obligated to buy what they had promised. It may be a scam now/in your area, though!

    • Abby

      Don’t be like me! Just called the company directly, and the price per unit is 3.39, which is much higher than my price through the regular provider. I feel kind of silly for not asking what the price would be yesterday, and falling for this, but I am able to cancel for free. Thanks for the advice!!

      • Abby

        I was walking in from my car and watering flowers when he walked up. Pretty dumb of me, I’m judging myself as much as you are!

        • Anon

          Hey, I didn’t mean it to be judgmental but on second read I see how it totally sounds like that. Sorry about that. This kind of thing happens! I do have a don’t-open-the-door policy myself, but what are you going to do when they accost you outside like that…

          • Fishie

            +1 to the don’t open the door policy. Friends and guests know to come to the back door. If I’m not expecting someone I’m not answering.

      • Senior Attorney

        I agree. We had a pest control guy come to the door yesterday and my husband was wanting me to research how much we are currently paying so we could compare with doorbell-ringing guy’s price. I told him “I am cooking dinner right now and also we don’t change vendors on the spot because somebody rings our doorbell.” And he was all, “Oh, right. Good point.”

    • Anon

      I have a personal policy of never buying anything on the spot offered via cold-calling or door-to-door sales. Even if it isn’t an outright scam, they’re banking on catching you off guard and pressuring you to make a decision without thinking it over. They wouldn’t have to do that if it was actually a good deal for you.

      If it’s anything I might actually be interested in, I’ll take some information and look into it when I have time. Not once has it ever panned out the be something that would benefit me over other options.

      • blueberries

        Agree, if someone’s knocks on my door, I only buy Girl Scout cookies and maybe a Boy Scout wreath. Nothing from adults or from children outside of programs I know.

    • Saguaro

      We are offered something like this for propane; we can pay for a full year or a period of time at a lower rate. Obviously the benefit to the company is they get a payment in full in advance versus each month. However, they would NEVER show up at my door and ask about this; it’s communication via mail or email. The fact that the guy showed up at your door makes me think it is a scam.

      • MagicUnicorn

        My propane company also does the same thing. We opt for the lowest price per gallon option and pre-buy (pay all at once each spring for the entire following 12 months). They also offer a locked in price that is slightly more, a budget pay option where they calculate your annual average and spread it out evenly over 11 months, or no plan at all where you just pay market rate on the day they fill the tank.

        They send us the info with our monthly statement, though, not via a door-to-door salesman. The propane guy might leave an info flyer with the tank-fill receipt, but he doesn’t attempt to sign us up.

  9. Worry about yourself

    I’m wondering if I could get some makeup shopping help? I hope this isn’t a stupid inquiry. After years of just wearing eyeliner and mascara, I finally started wearing eyeshadow last summer and I’ve been getting the hang of it, and I’m looking for a small shadow palette of work-appropriate shades. I mostly use shades of brown – light on the lid, medium in the crease, and dark in the outer corners, so I don’t need anything colorful or fancy, just something basic and practical.

    I mostly buy drugstore makeup these days, but I haven’t seen anything at CVS that has struck my fancy, and since I’ll be wearing it 5 times a week I’m open to something I can pick up at Sephora or order from Ulta.

    • Penny Lane

      I think the Urban Decay palettes get ranked highly and are available at Sephora. (I’m impressed that you’ve mastered what you describe – I can only manage one shade, no nuance to it.) FWIW, I have green eyes and love a purplish color for summer. The only color I’ve found that I like, three summers in a row, has been a cream shadow from Bobbi Brown. It’s a different look but it works for me.

      • Worry about yourself

        I really wanted to get into purples around Halloween and go for a subtle “evil queen” look, but I didn’t see a shade or palette that seemed to work for that look. Maybe this year.

      • Rainbow Hair

        Dark purple looks so good with my green eyes. I have a L’Oreal eyeshadow duo thing, it’s called “HIP” (high intensity pigment?) in purple and gold. I use it for ~going out~ mostly, but I can use the purple + a wet brush as an eyeliner. I also use one that’s a pair of light and dark brown for every day. I often compliment it with a very pale (like my skin tone) peachy color as a base, with the light brown as the ‘dark’ shade and the dark brown as the liner/crease thing.

      • Anonymous

        Plus one for any Urban Decay. I have been trying to use off my Naked 2 for well over a year and have hit maybe baby pan on 5 shades out of…a lot.

    • Z

      Urban Decay Naked is probably what you’re looking for. They discontinued the original palette last year, but have versions 2, 3 and a couple mini versions. You can find them at Sephora and Ulta.

    • Anon

      Bobby Brown. Pricier than a drug store but my eyeshadow palette of 4-5 work-appropriate colors/neutrals has lasted me over a year and I wear 1-2 shades (blended) everyday.

    • Anonymous

      Why not go to Sephora or Ulta and have someone there do a trial and then buy it if you like it?

      • Worry about yourself

        I’m sorry, I should have mentioned that I had been considering that as well. Posting here is not the only thing I was planning to do, but I’m sorry if by not acknowledging that plan my comment seemed stupid and annoying.

        • Anonymous

          Huh? I wasn’t saying your comment was stupid or annoying? I was just giving a suggestion re: how to find good makeup that works for you.

          • tesyaa

            For some reason the commenter is expecting snark, maybe because of a rash of snarky comments on other threads. Your comment was fine.

          • Worry about yourself

            I’m sorry, you’re right, I overreacted, and I am usually bracing myself for snarky responses here, or people telling me my questions are a result of me overthinking things and I shouldn’t waste people’s time with such trivial nonsense when some people have bigger problems.

    • Greensleeves

      The Sephora app has a Try On feature available for many products and I found it really helpful for picking out an eyeshadow palette that was flattering. I have used Urban Decay in the past, and am currently switching between a Bare Minerals palette and a Too Faced palette that have great neutrals.

    • all about eevee

      You need Too Faced Natural Eyes. Then, Anastasia Norvina for the purples.

    • Anon

      Smashbox has a few smaller palettes that are good for this. As someone else not super into makeup, I would recommend getting one of the smaller palettes– not the huge Urban Decay one– otherwise you will feel overwhelmed and not use half the shades you buy.

      • Worry about yourself

        Right, I have an Anastasia one my sister got me for Christmas, and some shades have gone untouched while the medium brown is almost gone because it’s my go-to for creases.

    • anon

      Bobbi Brown! I use their “Shimmer Brick Highlighter Compact” for easy evening eyeshadow. I’ve been using it for years an am on my third one–each one lasts at least 5ish years. They also have one called “Essential Multi-Color Eyeshadow Palette” that looks like it might be better for you–it has less glittery shimmer to it. For my daytime, I keep it to two colors because it’s quicker, and smaller to travel with. I use their Shimmer Wash in Champagne all over and Copper Cocoa (dark brown) on the lash line.

    • Aggie

      Anastasia soft glam is the standard by which I judge all eye shadow palettes. It is a good mix of neutrals that all work well together. The formula is powdery, however that makes it extremely easy to blend. It is not a small palette (14 shades) but the range of light to dark shades and unique shimmers give you flexibility. And for purples, their Norvina palette is in a class of its own.
      However, if you are not ready to commit to fourteen shades, you can create your own quad at Sephora.

    • Anon

      This isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, but it’s my go-to as a lazy makeup wearer: Laura Mercier Caviar Sticks. There are something like 25 shades that run the gamut from neutral to bold. I personally wear the “au naturale” shade (light brown) daily and get lots of compliments. I have green eyes and fair skin if that helps!

    • CHL

      I only use Bobbi Brown cream shadow in the pot or the stick. I find that powders don’t have the staying power or leave the pigment that I want. I use the shades Stone and Slate.

      • anon

        It adds a step but it also makes any shadow stick better and doesn’t actually add much time: try Bobbi Brown’s long-wear eye base. I am generally anti-primers (I don’t use a foundation primer except for weddings and the like) but I like that it acts as a base color (lighter than my skin tone) and helps whatever shadow I use stick for the day.

      • Worry about yourself

        You know what, I didn’t see it, but I will absolutely take another look at that section next time I’m at CVS, thanks!

      • Anonymous

        I hate this palette. It takes so much product to get it to show. You’re better off buying the original Urban Decay one which L’Oreal knocked off. The colors are much more intense and smoother.

    • Anonymous

      I really like Estée Lauder shadows. I have a four pack with light camel, khaki, deep brown and deep green.

    • Anon

      I use mostly Urban Decay eye shadows.

      I love the Naked 2 palette. It has 12 fairly cool-toned neutrals. Lots of them are shimmers, though, so think about whether you want that in your purchase. I’m very light, with warm blue eyes and neutral undertones, and the Naked original and 3 are too orange for me.

      I also love Naked basics (original), which has six shades, four are workhorse matte neutrals, and then a light shimmer and a dark shimmer (for highlighting and smokey).

      My absolute favourite UD colour isn’t in a palette, though, it’s SIN, a peachy taupe (sort of) shimmer.
      And if you do go for UD, they have an empty 4-piece palette box that you can buy and put four favourite singles in, if you prefer too keep your shades in one place.

      For fun colours, I usually buy cheaper than UD.

    • Anonymous

      My workday eyeshadow routine is super basic and from Whole Foods: Mineral Fusion eyeshadow trio in “fragile”. The compact/palette has only three shades of brown/neutral. Super easy to apply with fingers as I’m putting on my jacket and running out the door.

  10. Toddler Mail Treats

    A friend of mine’s toddler is obsessed with the mail. I want to send a little card with some fun goodies. I am childless and have no idea what is age appropriate. She loves Sesame Street (I actually already have Sesame Street stamps!). Stickers? TIA!

    • Anonymous

      Stickers all the way. You could also print off some free coloring sheets from the Internet and send a few of those. My daughter also went through a stage where she loved little notepads. Paint or wallpaper samples are also a hit. Truthfully, though, the card itself will be a huge hit. From about 18 mos – 3 years, my daughter played with cards that came in the mail all the time.

    • anonymouse

      – A book her parents can read to her ( I am that person that always gets kids books). If all you send are books, you can ship media mail: cheaper, but slower.
      – A small stuffed animal
      – I have sent my young nephew small toys (and a book) in the mail – think toy trucks. Nothing that would force me into a box bigger than a medium size priority mail box.
      – If you want flat mail: coloring book and stickers
      – I typically include a little letter that parents can read to the recipient.

      • Pompom

        May I suggest that the book be one in The Jolly Postman series? Those are THE BEST.

        My BIL is a mailcarrier and we gifted a few of those to the kids and they love them. Those, and the Melissa and Doug mailbox toy.

    • Lyssa

      Are you looking for something that you can fit into a letter, or something a little bigger? If a letter, I think stickers are good (though beware, some parents hate them), and anything with brightly colored pictures on it. My in-laws travel a ton, and send postcards to my kids, which they love (when you travel would be great, but just postcards from around town would probably delight the kid, too).

      If you want a little bigger, Melissa and Doug have these great travel colorform sets which were great for toddlers (and can’t stick everywhere like stickers), and they have these “water paint” kits that kids love. Both are about the size of a small book. Books, of course, are always good, too.

    • Anon

      Definitely stickers! Sparkly, puffy, and fuzzy stickers are always a hit. Rub-on tattoos, cute little barrettes or bobby pins if she has enough hair for them, colorful shoelaces, age-appropriate puzzles, pages to color, notes on fancy paper with flower seeds in it that she can plant, a $5 gift card to a local ice cream parlor. You could even send her a copy of the book Flat Stanley, and print off your own Stanley and send her occasional pictures and updates of his adventures.

    • Maudie Atkinson

      Also–keep sending her mail! I send postcards regularly to my friends’ kids, especially ones who live far from me, so that I can be a presence in their lives even when I don’t see them much. I pick up postcards all over the place, but I also bought 100-pack of women in science postcards that have illustrations of and snippets of biographical information about the scientists.

    • anon.

      This is so so fun. My kid is also obsessed with the mail! Just popping in to say you are an awesome friend. (And agree with some other commenters that stickers are fun, but postcards are just as fun for my kid.)

    • OP

      Thanks for all of the great ideas!! I LOVE sending and receiving mail, so when I saw the IG post about her running to the mailbox every day, I texted my friend to let her know I would be sending something!

  11. Penny Lane

    Does anyone out there get PERMS? I know they have a bad reputation but I am considering getting one as a means of bringing some definition to my natural waves. I did it for a few years in the early 2000s and it worked well for my hair, but I’m also getting to a point where I may have to start coloring to cover whites, so that’s a consideration – I don’t think I’d want two chemical processes going. Also, I’m not sure if the technology has changed in two decades. Any thoughts are welcome.

    • anon

      Ehhhh … I don’t think anybody is doing this. Case in point: My MIL moved to our mid-sized city, needed a new stylist who could do perms, and was hard-pressed to find a stylist who even knew how to do them anymore. Natural waves are pretty! I would work with those, rather than risking a perm gone wrong … which is pretty much the worst look ever.

    • Anon.

      Check out Curly Girl Method on Reddit. You could tweak your routine and see whether you can enhance your waves/curls. I always thought I had straight frizzy hair – turns out I’m truly a wavy-curly person with the right products!

      • anon

        Second this. But don’t feel like you have to go all-in to get a better outcome. I straddle the line and have decent results.

      • anon.

        Thirded. My sister uses a Denman brush (lots of online tutorials for bringing out your waves with this) and has awesome results.

        • Anon

          Wow I have been using Denman brushes for 20+ years and had no idea they were a thing now. I just like them because they don’t catch and break my hair.

          I cannot STAND you tube tutorials where the person talks for like 20 minutes to explain like one to three basic steps. They drive me nuts. I couldn’t find one shorter so I guess I will be skipping it.

      • Penny Lane

        I have seen them advertised and am unsure exactly what makes them different… and about twice the price. Can you elaborate at all?

        • The original Scarlett

          Caveat, I haven’t done it but friends have – it’s a looser curl that looks modern and not like a perm from the 80s. In my area the salons that do them are in Japantown (I think they originated in japan, but could be wrong) so you’d want to find a salon that specializes in them. I’m not sure if they work on colored hair. Pinterest has a lot of info.

    • cbackson

      I don’t do it but was just talking to my stylist Saturday and she said it’s making a big comeback but under the name “body wave.”

    • Anon

      I know people who have gotten “body waves” (aka perms) and they liked them. I think you have little to lose if you don’t like how it turns out, you can go for a swim and wash it away.

    • anon

      I like the way my mom’s look. She did not do perms when they were “in”, only the last 10 years or so, so it’s not like she’s stuck in the 80s. But her stylist is exceptionally good at them, and uses mostly really oversized rollers, with a bunch of variation in other roller sizes mixed in. FWIW, she has very thick but very fine hair, mostly dark with significant gray that is sometimes colored (the perm and color seemed to work together just fine…).

    • Senior Attorney

      I can’t comment on perms per se, but I wouldn’t worry about color + something else. I’ve been doing color + straightening for years and my hair is fine.

      • The original Scarlett

        Oh that’s good to know! Now I may investigate the digital perm more seriously . . .

  12. Anon

    I have ~$325 in credit at Neiman Marcus for returning a wedding gift. Any ideas on what to spend it on? I don’t have a store near me so I’d be shopping online. TIA!

  13. Anonymous

    If a job’s requirements state “three to six years experience,” do you interpret the six years as a maximum? Would you bother applying if you have double the upper limit? If you apply, would you address this issue in your cover letter? This is for attorney jobs.

    • Worry about yourself

      Double? I don’t know. If I have a bit more experience than what the role is looking for, my concern is the salary budgeted for the role is going to be less than what I’m worth. So for example, I have 7 years of experience, I know what I’d want to make in a new role, but if they’re only looking for someone with 3-5 years of experience, I would imagine it’s because they’re only able to pay for 4ish years of experience. I’d still apply or take the call if they reach out to me as a passive candidate, but I would do so knowing that my target salary might be more than they’re looking to pay.

      The other concern on their end might be that you’ll be bored in this role if you have more experience than they’re asking for, and itching for a promotion or title upgrade, or even just bigger cases, before they’re willing/able to grant it to you, so I would definitely address in your cover letter why this role in particular stood out to you. But in the interview, I would absolutely ask about growth as well.

    • Anon

      In my field that signifies the job level. I wouldn’t apply for a job below my level, usually you want to advance rather than go back to a lesser job that doesn’t pay as well.

    • AFT

      I think it’s OK to apply… another thing is that this may be signalling the level of the person you’re reporting to. If you can do some digging to determine who would be the boss, and see that they have 8 years of experience, they may have in mind hiring someone junior to them. Doesn’t mean you may not be the right person for the job though, so might as well apply.

      • anon

        +1

        The answer is not determined by numbers but by the individuals and their experiences.

    • 780

      It’s equally between the two, so I think it all depends on how you look at that. But I’m turning 35 this weekend, and I feel like that is closer to 40 than 30, so …

    • Anonymous

      What an impossible question to answer. What’s the context? A relationship? Mid-life crisis? Argument with someone that you’re trying to settle? An insurance actuary?

    • Old age is an accomplishment

      Since a 43-year-old will never turn 38, I am gonna say age 43 much, much closer to 48. But hey, better 48 than dead.

    • Anonymous

      I think this is a fun question – not sure why it rubbed the prior posters the wrong way. I’m 43. I think we’re closer to someone who’s 48 because–while it’s grossly overplayed in the media, etc. — I do feel there’s something to the generational stereotypes of gen X vs millennial.

      But even if there were no generational difference, I still think the answer is 48 because 40 is such a big jump for many people.

  15. Spine Issue

    I’ve come to the conclusion that my spine is not straight at all and is actually pretty out of whack. One of my shoulders is 1-2” higher than the other, and my hips are the same. As I’ve gotten more into barre classes and yoga, the more this is hurting me and not helping. I’m concerned this will get worse as I age, since I’m in my early 30s.

    Is this something a chiropractor can fix or should I look into a specialist?

    • anon

      This will sound a bit out of left field, but look up “Functional Patterns” to see if there is a gym or practitioner near you. I really can’t stand the guru (Naudi, I think?) but the actual workouts (and my work with a trainer) have been a godsend for me and they focus a lot on people with spines that aren’t straight. (Really, though, please don’t get discouraged if you find a terrible Y*uTube video or other online chatter about Naudi…he’s just, ugh, not my type of person.)

      • anon

        Editing to add: a chiropractor might be able to help in the immediate term but over the longterm, I would definitely look elsewhere. A good physical therapist or a workout that works better for your body.

      • Been there

        Yes, you should see a PT first of all. In the meantime, if you wear your purse on your higher shoulder, switch it to the other side, or, better yet, get a backpack. Same thing if you tend to carry things in your arms (think, baby/toddler, or moving boxes) on your higher-hip side, try to switch to the other side. Also see if your feet tend to be in parallel or if the foot on your elevated side is doing something weird, and try to realign it with your underused foot. This will feel awkward and weak, but it may also be causing or exacerbating your alignment issues.

    • Lana Del Raygun

      No, chiropractors are woo. Definitely better to see a real doctor (or physical therapist, maybe).

      • Anon

        I agree with you in principle, but physical therapists wasted a lot of my time over months on an issue that a sports chiropractor fixed in just a few weeks. I think it’s possible that if I kept searching I could have found a physical therapist or possibly a DO who used the same approach, but I just went on recommendations from people I knew.

    • Anonymous

      I have scoliosis and what’s helped me is craniosacral therapy and private pilates classes where the instructor knows my issues really well and can help me modify as needed. Pricey but worth it.

    • Is it Friday yet?

      Chiropractors are not evidence based medicine, you should go see an actual doctor and get a referral to a good physical therapist.

    • anne-on

      See a spinal orthopedic surgeon and get a diagnosis from them. They will suggest PT if it is a small curve, surgery or bracing if it is not.
      PSA – Scoliosis is not JUST a spinal curvature, depending on how the spine curves it can also impact heart/lung function, especially as women age and lose bone mass. It can also make pregnancy and childbirth MUCH more complicated. This is absolutely not something I’d just shrug off and treat with pilates/chiro if you are already noticing a curve.

    • Sarabeth

      This is unlikely to be ‘fixable’ in the true sense, if you are already an adult (at least, this is what my doctor says). But physical therapy can help manage symptoms. I actually find yoga extremely helpful, but scoliosis is highly variable in nature, and so I’m not at all surprised that the same postures that help one person might aggravate someone else.

      I would go to a doctor for sure – as another poster said, depending on the specific nature of your curve, there may be other impacts. For me, this is not a major factor. Then I’d seek out a physical therapist with experience in scoliosis. If you want to keep doing yoga/barre, a really good therapist should be able to help you troubleshoot your practice and think about modifications. I’ve worked with one who was also a registered yoga teacher, which was ideal.

      Finally, I’ve found it helpful to use some of Katy Bowman’s principles to improve my posture and movement habits more broadly. It doesn’t target scoliosis, but her method has helped me be more aware of imbalances in my body so that I’m not aggravating them as much.

    • Anonymous

      My left shoulder used to be inches higher. I started doing Pilates about 5 years ago and it just dawned on me that they are no longer different. Maybe it helped. It was not quick though.

    • poiu

      I’d start with an orthopedist, so you can find out what’s really going on. GPs treated my period back symptoms for years before they got bad enough that I was referred to an orthopedist who figured out the root cause. Backs are complicated and I would start with a specialist.

    • Sutemi

      If your hips are out of alignment, are your legs the same length?
      My husband found out that one leg was almost an inch longer than the other, which was leading to hip/knee pain when running. Orthotics in one shoe fixed it.

      • anon

        No shade intended to Sutemi, but be very very wary of this diagnosis. I was sold that exact bill of goods by a chiropractor. She was drastically overblowing things and the orthotics never really helped. Nor did the orthopedic surgeon. PT helped some, but what ultimately become a longterm solution was my new gym (I’m the poster way above who suggested Functional Patterns).

        • Sutemi

          Yes, it is rare but was actually true in his case. His shin bones are measurably quite different lengths! Years of stretching and PT couldn’t match what a heal lift in one shoe could fix.

    • Anonymous

      FSU’s my hips were 1” different and a chiro fixed me in 2 weeks. It was due to childbirth (about a year post partum) so perhaps that’s why it was so fix-able

  16. Laura B

    I’m attending a wedding in a few months and I think it’s finally the opportunity to make my tulle skirt dreams come true, if I can find a formal cropped blouse to go with one. I really like the BHLDN ones like the one linked below, but they’re all in ivory and I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing ivory to a wedding as a guest. Anyone know of something similar that comes in colors other than white or ivory?

    https://www.bhldn.com/products/cleo-top-ivory-new?via=Z2lkOi8vdXJibi9Xb3JrYXJlYTo6Q2F0YWxvZzo6Q2F0ZWdvcnkvREIwRTM5QzY

    • Anonymous

      It’s interesting — they are pairing the crop top with a cami. To me, that misses the whole point of a crop top. Who wants to see a nude-for-you cami?

    • Anonymous

      What color are you looking for? I searched lace crop top on asos and came up with quite a few.

      • Sadie

        Oh gosh, I don’t think I’d wear a full tulle skirt to someone else’s wedding, even in a color, unless it’s a formal evening wedding, which maybe it is.

        • Laura B

          I totally would agree with you normally – but yes, it’s a multi-day formal AF wedding. :) Guests are being encouraged very much to go all out.

          I’m not sure I’m going to be able to pull it off all the way, but thanks for the finds! I love that free people one and kind of just want it for life.

  17. Anonymous

    Have you ever been on the B-list for a destination bachelor e t t e party? I didn’t know this was a thing until recently. Unfortunately, at this point I can’t make the b-party because I just made plans for that weekend that I can’t change. If I’d been asked when everyone else was, I could’ve gone. Also, even if I could go, it would now be much more expensive for me than everyone else because flight and hotel prices have increased. I’m pretty bummed because I really like bride and her friends, but on the other hand, I’m a little annoyed at being an afterthought. Either invite me or don’t, you know? I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this.

    • Anonymous

      It’s really rude and I’d def say no. I’d much rather not be invited than be used as a space filler.

    • anon

      Nope, haven’t heard of this, though it’s not at all surprising. Takes the bride-centric attitude of that life-stage even further. I’d be inclined to distance myself from these people unless you are new to the group and it’s therefore obvious why you were on the B list. Even then… know that you will likely never truly be part of the core group, which gets very old, very fast.

    • Anon

      That’s insanely rude. And I don’t even understand the point – with weddings, I think it’s still rude but at least I understand why it happens (couple is footing the bill and wants to invite more people than they can afford, when some people decline they can invite their “B list”). But the bride does not foot the bill for the bach party! Why not invite everyone she’d like there?

    • Anon

      Lol I’m a curmudgeon, but that sounds like a best-case scenario to me. Late invite giving you an easy out on the expensive destination bachelorette and you don’t have to look like the bad guy? Win win.

      • Anon

        This. I normally feel really guilty declining this stuff and would be relieved I could decline this one guilt-free. I see wh you’re hurt though, OP.

    • Anon

      I’m not saying that my recent wedding was the paragon of politeness, but I found that “trying to be considerate of my guests” went muuuuch further than one may expect.

    • Anon

      That’s.. really odd. My guess is that the bride had decided she wanted no more than a certain number of people at the bach party and thought most people she initially invited would come. Then they all dropped out for various reasons– probably money. From past experience, you probably do not want to go to a bach party that no one else has wanted to go to… it is probably really expensive.

    • Anon

      For what it’s worth, I kept my b-party relatively small (12 of us) because we rented a house abroad, and other housing options in the area were expensive and not that close. I would have loved to invite others but it would have added to the already complicated logistics to manage 12 girls.

  18. Anon

    I’m the IF poster from yesterday…just wanted to update that this morning I skipped my tea and had no nausea at all, so thank you to the person who suggested that might be the cause. When I think about it, I’ve often gotten queasy if I don’t have food with my tea, even before I was doing any conscious fasting, so I’m not sure why it wasn’t obvious to me…but it totally wasn’t.

    • PolyD

      That was me (and maybe some others)! Makes my day that I can be helpful to someone.

      I discovered this when I was visiting a friend, got up before anyone else, and decided to make myself some tea. I didn’t feel comfortable looking for food, so I just had the tea and, oof, so queasy! I’d always had tea with food so I didn’t figure it out right away, but then mentioned it to someone and they were like, yeah, tannins can do that.

  19. Anon

    I’m a defendant in a small claims suit ($5k) over a real estate deal gone south. I emailed my real estate agent asking him to testify and he says he’s chaperoning Scout camp that day and won’t attend. I have no choice but to subpoena him, right? There’s no way to defend this without him…right? I feel really, really bad about doing that – this whole deal has been a nightmare – the plaintiff has been a nut job since he first signed the contract – and I hate to drag the agent back into it all. (And the commission the agent ultimately earned on the deal was a pittance, so it’s not like this was somehow worth it for him.) But, I mean, I have to him there to talk about what happened, right? :(

    • cbackson

      I don’t know where you are, but in some jurisdictions small claims is kinda open season in terms of rules regarding evidence. You might be able to get him to make a sworn declaration and bring that instead. I’d do some googling to see how witness testimony works in your state.

    • Anonymous

      What can he say that you can’t? [Or is calling him to have someone else say from his direct knowledge what you’ve said in case you’re called a liar?]

      At any rate, yes, you have to subpoena him. Subpoena > whatever else you had planned for that day.

        • Daisy

          For sure. He’d probably just blow it off anyone. Can you ask for leave to submit an affidavit of his testimony instead?

    • Anonymous

      Does your county have a small claims clerk? That person won’t be able to give legal advice, but can provide information on local rules. In my state, small claims rules vary from one county to another as far as whether you need in-person witness testimony vs an affidavit.

    • Anonymous

      Call the court and ask for an adjournment because your witness is unavailable

    • Anon

      OP here. Thanks for the replies so far. I’ve googled and haven’t found anything about sworn affidavits for testimony. I called and asked the court clerk and she said she wasn’t sure what to say, so she asked the judge and the judge said he “couldn’t give legal advice.” I guess if I read between the lines on that response, that means they prefer in-person witnesses? Because if discussing local custom/preference on affidavit vs. in-person is significant enough that it’s considered “legal advice,” then it stands that it materially affects the case and I should go with the subpoena? Ugh.

      • anon

        Look into doing a “deposition on written questions.” It is a complete pain in the arse but accomplishes your goal and is likely acceptable by the court. Before going too far down that rabbit hole, I’d call the court back and ask if they accept them. They are considered more acceptable than sworn statements and are a true stand-in for live testimony (when permitted). You might also think about trying to reschedule the hearing/trial/whatever it’s called in small claims court.

        This will out my location and practice area, but the Travis County, Texas Probate Court website has some details about how to get it done. I’ll post a link shorty but you’re looking for the probate section of their website, about 2/3 of the way down, in a document called “The Uncontested Docket: When the Decedent Dies Without a Will.” Page 8 of that document has details about doing a “DOWQ.”

      • Anon

        Can you not see if there is a way to reset the hearing date for a date that is convenient for your real estate agent? This can be done by consent if the parties agree (which it sounds like you have an opposing party who won’t consent.) Even if the plaintiff won’t consent to a continuance, you can file a motion for continuance opposed and let the judge decide if your witness is important enough to move the date.

    • Anonymous

      In my jurisdiction, you could ask for a continuance since a necessary witness is unavailable. Or you could subpoena the witness anyway, and the witness could ask the Court to quash the subpoena and reissue for a different date.

  20. Tween bathing suits

    My daughter is 5-2 and weights about 90 pounds. She has started developing but has no hips yet. Kids 14s and 16s are made for someone shorter and stouter. Women’s suits are for people with hips (and on-line places from Old Navy to Athleta to Lands End to Target have EITHER women’s suits or girls’ suits but not the equivalent of Junior’s suits (we need a lined top if it is a light color, but not really any support, kiddo prefers tankinis vs one-pieces or bikinis).

    Of course, we started camp with more suits than we have now, so I need an emergency replacement STAT.

    Help!

    • anon

      Can you not mix and match tops for sizes? I only think of the hips as mattering when you’re trying to get pants to fit both the waist and the hips. I’d try somewhere like JCrew Factory and go for a very small bottom size and small top.

      • Worry about yourself

        For real, that’s where I got all my swimsuits when I was around that age group.

    • ATL rette

      Aerie? Hollister? Is Justice still a store for her age or is that too babyish?

      Petite bloggers may have some tween-friendly suggestions…I think Jean from Extra Petite is around that size and may have some ideas! Maybe reach out on Instagram?

    • aBr

      Did you try Target? Their bottoms always tend to run small so I assume they are intended for people with no hips.

      • Anonymous

        +1 to Target. My daughter’s friend is exactly this size and buys her swimsuits there.

    • Anon

      Btw- the bathing suit department at Target is mixed Juniors and Womens, though at every Target I’ve been to, it skews younger. I’ve been wearing their bathing suits since I was 13-14.

    • Anonymous

      American Eagle Outfitters, Aeropostale, maybe even Express (a bit pricier)? I would suggest going to the first two if you’re near a suburban mall, they cater to teens.

      • Anon

        Yes to AE. As a very small adult, I’m this kid’s height and weight,and my swim separates are from AE. You can mix and match. The stout problem comes in when you get one-piece and need the right length; two pieces are much easier to buy.

      • Vicky Austin

        I’ve actually heard a lot of great things about Aerie swimsuits (Aerie is a sort of offshoot brand of AE).

    • Anonymous

      Try Revolve. There are a ton of suits you can buy in separates and it sounds like she has a model body! They do relatively cheap one night shipping as well.

  21. Anonymous

    I’m a 5th year transactional associate. I have little to no litigation experience. Litigation department is slammed and I’ve been “asked” to help with a couple cases (defense side, each roughly $$4-20MM damages anticipated). Transactional has agreed to lighten my load for a short period with no negative impact to my partnership track, but I still have a couple projects (segments of deals, I’m not primary on any deals) going. Advice? Commiseration?

    FWIW, one of my biggest struggles is figuring out the right questions to ask the litigation partners. For example, when responding to a third party subpoena, do I get a paralegal to identify the responsive documents for each paragraph, or do we merely dump 5000 pages and say “see attached.” I’m learning the answer depends on the attorney. I took civ pro as a 1L and while I did some doc review as a first and second year, the actual discovery process, depos, etc. are all new.

    • anon

      Ask the paralegal or legal assistant who supports the partner on the case for samples of whatever type of document you are working on that the relevant partner signed off on in the past. And then check your rules and local rules to make sure the requirements haven’t changed since those were filed. If not, use them as a model.

    • Anon

      I do the document dump and say see the documents. I really am not about to identify page by page each and every document responsive to that request. I’m typically dealing with tens or hundreds of thousands of pages, though.

    • Daisy

      Can you lean heavily on the litigation associates that are about your year to give you a sense of what you should know and how you should approach problems?

    • Anon

      Do you know litigation associates who have worked for those partners before? They can be a good resource for models and simple questions. But part of this is likely just you asking the partner a lot of questions. I have to do that even with partners I work a lot with, but the answer often depends on the nature of the case. For example, I wouldn’t normally identify documents in response to each request. But if it is only 3 questions and 10 documents, I might do it.

    • Anon

      I would literally quit before I took on a lit case. I’m a transactional gal through and through. Deals, deals, deals. As a summer we had to do a depo and I was like LOLZ WUT? because I hadn’t even taken Evidence at that point. I did take Evidence P/F. Most 5th year transactional associates are wholly unqualified to be defending cases and if your firm is not giving you mega-guidance, I would say that you do not feel professionally qualified to do this/could be malpractice. Again. I would literally quit before I would do this.

  22. Anonymous

    So I’m seeing the pictures coming out of Mississippi and TBH I don’t get the outrage. If people are here illegally should they just not be eligible for deportation because – KIDS?? Sorry it separates families but committing any kind of crime will usually get you separated from your family. Why don’t people feel so kindly towards drug dealers off in jail? And as for the pics of the kids who had no idea where to go after school if both parents got arrested — why didn’t their parents have a plan in place?? You know you’re illegal and can be picked up for a traffic stop — don’t you have some idea of who your kids would live with??

    • Daisy

      “Sorry it separates families but committing any kind of crime will usually get you separated from your family. Why don’t people feel so kindly towards drug dealers off in jail?”

      So you’re saying that we should be jailing fewer drug offenders due to the devastating impacts on their children and families? I couldn’t agree more.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Yesterday I heard someone say “If you’re gonna stir the sh!t you gotta be willing to lick the spoon,” so carry that with you as you continue to troll your way through life.

    • Anonymous

      My problem is that the people who hired the undocumented workers weren’t arrested and probably won’t be fined because they will claim they examined the employees’ authorization documents and took it on “good faith” they were genuine. Even though they knew darn well the employees weren’t authorized to work in the United States. Cargill has literally built their business hiring undocumented workers and yet there’s no focus on the people who provide the jobs illegal immigrants come here to take. Maybe if we wanted to stop the flow of unauthorized workers we should go after the people who hire them? Instead of penalizing hardworking people who are just here trying to make a living, why don’t we penalize corporations that make a lot of money from hiring undocumented workers and paying them low wages? Probably because executives from companies like Marriott and Monsanto and Cargill would end up in jail or being fined and we can’t have that, you know.

      • anon

        I have always felt this way. But I’m on the D side of the debate, so no true credibility is granted my way.

    • Worry about yourself

      So people who shoot off fireworks illegally on the 4th of July should also be separated from their kids? Or people who smoke marijuana in states where it’s not legal yet?

      I’m thinking about the kids here, how would you feel if you, as a small child, were just not picked up from school one day because your parents were arrested? How would you feel as a teenager, knowing they were being held indefinitely in an unsanitary detention center and you might never see them again?

      There are different levels of crime, and I sort of expect people here to understand that. We’re not talking about serial killers or sex offenders here, we’re talking about people who came here for a better life. It’s insane to think that this past weekend’s mass shooters are being held in better condition than people who came here seeking refugee status.

  23. anon

    Hly F-ing sht. I can’t believe I have to listen to this crp at work. Paraphrasing:
    It’s so funny…a little sad, but mostly funny…that other countries like Venezuela & Uganda have a travel warning against the US! We’re not like them, they have fully automatic AK-47s, not just semi! And they give them to children! Because (not kidding anymore, very serious tone of voice) if you want to indoctrinate children into that kind of culture of violence you would need to start at that age…

    …This between two people who I know are both raising kids with completely unsecured guns in their houses. A kid just accidentally shot his brother last week in our small town. I’m so angry I’m literally shaking.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I was just shopping for whiteboards and found a company that sells bulletproof ones on casters – so schoolkids can shelter in place behind them. It’s truly horrifying but I’m not shocked anymore.

      • Anon

        And the bulletproof backpacks! Agree that it is horrifying and heartbreaking, but absolutely not surprising.

      • OP

        No. It’s totally legal here, and neither cps nor law enforcement would ever devote resources, even if that changed.

    • Anon

      Why are there travel warnings against the US? Our violent crime rate is completely average for first-world countries.

  24. anon

    I need your best organizing tips for the influx of papers that come into our house!

    Bills automatically get taken into office to get paid. The bigger issue is the random papers that come home from school, invitations, etc. that have to be dealt with soon but don’t need a permanent home. Said papers usually require action of some kind. Our home office is in an out-of-sight-out-of-mind location, so taking them there hasn’t worked well. I hate the term “command center,” but that’s kinda what I need so all this stuff doesn’t end up on the kitchen table or covering our refrigerator (the clutter drives me batty). Having an open floor plan means there isn’t a great spot to put something like that. Any other ideas? We have a laundry room that is basically the pass-through from the kitchen to the garage, so it might make sense to put something there. Maybe wall-mounted clipboards for each person?

    • Anon

      Hmm, I’m picturing the type of thing that comes up when you g 00 gle “file sorter”. I think that might be more practical than a clipboard.

    • anonymous

      No advice because I have the same problem as you, but I’m interested in the replies. The “family command center” thing is a little precious for me, but I am intrigued by the concept. I want someone to design a “command center” template for the single 30 something that lives in a 1 br condo (read: without a kitchen/mudroom/entryway with appropriately sized nooks for chalk boards). I need something in between “tucked in the filing cabinet and never seen again” and “on my kitchen counter next to the coffee pot so it’s in my face and I don’t forget about it.”

      • anon

        I have a little basket thing just inside the front door of my apartment (it’s a 2 bdrm, though, b/c I work from home). It has hooks for keys on the bottom. I keep coupons, dog bags, dog leashes, and keys on it. It could easily be a good place for various mail pieces–and it’s also where I tend to put things like bloodwork orders to remind me to go. I went looking for an online example and am now drooling over a much more attractive version I found on Etsy called the “Modern Rustic Handmade Natural Walnut Wood Entryway Mail Key Organizer, Storage, Letter Holder, Home Decor, Shelf”.

    • GCG

      I purchased two accordion-style folders for this purpose. One has a little more than 12 pockets and I named each pocket based on the month. The other has 31 pockets for days. When something new comes in (e.g. invitation), if it is for the current month it gets placed in the folder for the appropriate day in the larger accordion folder. If it is for another month, I put it in the appropriate month in the smaller accordion. I also make appropriate notes in planners/calendars. Then every Sunday I check the upcoming days to make sure I know what is coming up. And at the beginning of every month I move items from the smaller accordion file to the larger one making sure things are sorted by day. That way I always know where to find event tickets, invitations with details, etc.

      • Anon

        This is called a tickler file and there are lots of ways to do it both digitally and physically if you want to search for variations of this.

    • SFAttorney

      A small file box (it could even go sideways on a laundry room shelf) with files for Events to attend, Signature needed, Action (for action that is other than signing and returning. It could be Internet action if you have to look something up, register online, pay online, etc.). Figure out what file subjects you need. Those work for me but maybe it is family members’ names for you since you referred to clipboards for each person.

    • Anon

      What about a binder with those plastic dividers that are also folders? You could have a divider for each day or week and stick all the relevant forms/reminders/invitations in there. A binder is visible but fits easily on a shelf or counter and you can add, remove, and check it without a lot of effort.

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