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Picky eaters
Anyone else put off by the sudden uptick in picky eaters? I try not to judge but it’s hard to spend substantive time with people who don’t eat anything but cheese pizza. Hearing an adult say “ew tofu” is so reminiscent of a toddler it’s almost an instant friendship killer. It’s even worse if I’m at a business lunch with someone who won’t participate.
Anon
I love it when people think there are “sudden upticks” in behaviors that have existed since the beginning of time. Everybody thinks new generations have moral failings and character flaws that they never did. This has been true since Plato’s time, and I’m sure even before.
Anonymous
How often are you running into this? Do you mean it’s because of all the diets that people have put themselves on? I literally have never been on a business lunch where people won’t eat? I mean I am usually the more picky one in any group and I pride myself on the fact that I can still literally make it work at any lunch EXCEPT sushi — at American, Italian etc. restaurants you can always find some chicken, fish, or steak that’s relatively plain and comes with a bland side. Though maybe this is my aversion to people who TALK about food. When I’m out with you — the eating part for me is just obligatory — so I really would like to talk to you about work, life, whatever — NOT have you talking about OMG I don’t eat this or that; can’t you taste the hint of cinnamon in this; I make a whatever that is much better than this . . . . So to me I’ve always felt — make it work at any restaurant, eat enough to make it look acceptable, and keep your food preferences to yourself.
Lily
I have never encountered this in the business world. Who are these people who will only eat cheese pizza?
Re: the “ew, tofu” comments – a lot of those people I really think have never even tried tofu, OR they have some passive aggressive feelings toward vegans/vegetarians which is a whole other issue.
Anonymous
I don’t like tofu, it’s a texture thing, but I think it’s really rude to make comments like this when sitting down to a meal when other people may be eating exactly that.
Cat
Yeah, I have tried tofu prepared many different ways, and the texture doesn’t work for me. I promise I have no secret agenda, I just do not like the stuff. But saying “ew tofu” out loud is weird and juvenile.
I haven’t noticed this uptick, but the typical approach for organizing a group lunch in my world is that the organizer chooses a restaurant that has a decent variety of options so that it accommodates a range of preferences OR polls the group to confirm they are good with the restaurant’s specialty (which could be anything from sushi to burgers). So anyone who has a super bland palate or restriction has the chance to weigh in before we’re all placing our orders.
Anon
+1 I have a texture issue with it. I would never say ew to tofu or really any food. Especially in a business setting.
Anonymous
My 47 year old boss. Who eats pizza at least six times a week once ordered milk at a big deal client dinner (he doesn’t drink because he doesn’t think it tastes good, so he would say “ewww, beer”.).
anne-on
Aside from the not liking to drink part it sounded like we had the same boss ;) Though mine was partial to chicken parm instead of pizza and veto’d dinners with anything even vaguely ethnic cuisine. It was…challenging.
Picky eaters
Sound like my FIL who spurred my post. Because every damn meal must have milk and any form of potatoes needs gravy.
anon
Seriously people need to learn some flipping manners. I’m teaching my 4 year old that we don’t have to all like the same foods and it’s rude to comment on what other people are eating. It seems like a basic thing people should be taught at a young age.
Anonymous
I haven’t noticed this at all. I know a couple picky eaters but they’re pretty good about just ordering something they like and not complaining.
Anon
I don’t know if there’s been any kind of uptick, but I agree that I judge. I have known two adults who subsisted on cheese pizza, plain pasta with butter (one branched out to marinara sauce), and bagels/bread. If those foods weren’t available, they didn’t eat. It was bizarre and off-putting.
Anonymous
I have run into this as well. Also grown adults who eat no green vegetables, and I mean none whatsoever. Went to a salad bar with a colleague on a business trip and he filled his plate with pasta salad, cottage cheese and a pile of shredded cheese with bacon bits on top (?). “I don’t do green things,” he told me. I don’t know how these people are still alive in middle age but okay…
Skipper
I feel like we have more diagnosed food allergies and more diversity in preferences like veganism. But I actually think the level of pickiness is kind of impossible to track over decades because the variety of foods available has increased hugely. For instance, there’s this episode of the Andy Griffith Show where everyone in town is trying to feed Andy spaghetti that contains this new, secret ingredient called “oregano.” It’s Greek! But oregano is incredibly basic today. College freshman have oregano in their dorm rooms.
(Also, I just spent the weekend with my great-aunt. Does it show?)
Anonymous
Are you sure it’s really “oregano” in a college dorm? ;)
Anonymous
It sounds like you have some people in your life who are picky eaters. Are you seeing anything else to which you’re attributing this “uptick”? From my point of view, it’s just the opposite. The people around me are eating far more diversely and widely than the people I was around 20 or 30 years ago.
Anon
In general picky? I ask because I may seem that way but it’s because gluten gives me a stomach ache or worse and spicy foods often kill my stomach, too. So I’m often the one skipping sandwiches or crouton salads and begging not to order from the nearby Indian place but I don’t want to announce to everyone my GI issues. “Picky” is sometimes the way to navigate without opening your health to a roomful of people (man, I miss cheese pizza!)
Anonymous
THIS. I’m not really going to explain health specifics to a group of coworkers or even a group of friends that includes others’ boyfriends etc. that may be in attendance. Instead I will just appear picky or boring as I order something plain and bland.
Vicky Austin
Things I will judge you for, from a little to a lot: ordering something boring in a group at a restaurant, making dismissive comments like “ew, tofu,” refusing to eat if you can’t have your preferred boring dish, being rude to somebody if they didn’t know you hate pepperoni
Things I will not judge you for: ordering whatever the hell you want when it’s just you, having politely expressed preferences, having allergies that you need accommodated in restaurants (as long as you’re polite to the server)
Anon
Why do you judge someone for ordering something boring? What if they are just in the mood for the so-called boring item?
Vicky Austin
You’re in a restaurant in 2019. Interesting foods are more widely available than they have ever been before. You are paying for a nice experience. And you choose…fettuccine alfredo. Cool.
Related, have we not had three thousand “small things I judge people for” threads? This is mine. I would literally never actually yell at somebody for ordering the fettuccine alfredo. It’s just a tiny thing that contributes to my perception of a person. That’s all.
Anon
Meh, I wouldn’t judge for fettucine alfredo at an amazing Italian restaurant. I would, however, judge a woman for ordering a small side salad as an entree.
Anonymous
I want some fettuccine alfredo now.
Anonymous
Omg you’re a nightmare. Fettuccine Alfredo is an delight of a dish.
anon
” You are paying for a nice experience. ”
Maybe fettuccine IS a nice experience for your friend! Maybe they have medical issue that you don’t know about and they know it’s not going to upset their stomach. Maybe they are on a budget and don’t want to spend a bunch of money on something they might not like. Maybe fettuccine reminds them of happy times cooking with their grandma as a child. Maybe they only allow themselves cream covered carbs when they go out to eat. All of these things could mean that dish of fettuccine is a “nice experience”. And I say this as someone who likes a wide range of “interesting” and “nice” foods. And who also likes fettuccine.
Anon
Wow, you’re a mega snob. I have dined at some of the finest restaurants in the world and can appreciate all cuisines. A great fettuccine Alfredo is probably in my top 25 dishes. Done well, it can be absolute heaven.
Liking one particular dish, even if it’s relatively common and not super spicy or exotic, does not make you an unsophisticated eater. What is “boring” to you can be a real treat to someone else.
anon
To me fettuccine Alfredo is an unusual dish — I normally don’t indulge in cream covered bread foods because if I did I’d spend my life bloated up like a Macy’s thanksgiving day parade balloon. And to have a pasta dish (even if it’s traditional) that’s extremely well prepared? Uhhh yum yes please. Come to think of it, pretty much the only times I eat pasta dishes are at higher end restaurants. (And mac and cheese.) I never make it for myself or get it as a casual dish. The point of all this is that you really have no idea why someone is ordering anything and what that says about them. I’d get on board if you judged a person who routinely ordered from the kids meal each time you went out, but that’s not what you said.
Anonymous
Why would you judge anyone for ordering something boring? That’s weird
Anon
My now-ex would order chicken strips at a nice restaurant. From the kids menu, because it was cheaper. I never said anything because at least he wasn’t litigating his always-changing no-fly food list with the server, but his pickiness was definitely a factor in why we’re no longer together. For him it was another thing to control, since the list of foods he didn’t like was always changing, and also things were acceptable when prepared out of sight in a restaurant kitchen but verboten when I made them at home – usually things that involved fat in their prep and/or cooking. If he didn’t see it go in, then it wasn’t there, apparently.
FWIW, I’ll eat anything that doesn’t eat me first, but generally cooks vegetarian and gravitates toward veg fare, while also professing a strong love for bacon and oxtails (not at the same time).
Anonymous
Eh – some of us like boring foods, as do our bodies. Your judgment or perception of us means less than 0. Sometimes it isn’t JUST about allergies where you can announce, I’m allergic to X. Often times it’s very much about GI issues like GERD etc. which I’m not going to discuss with a table full of coworkers — I’m just going to order something bland, simple, and boring that I’ve had a 1000 times before no matter what you think.
Anonymous
Who are all these people eating cheese pizza? I can’t get any of my friends to eat pizza (not that I judge, I’ve been on pizza-unfriendly diets). If I want a cheese pizza I have to eat it at home. Alone. Preferably with a bottle of wine.
Calico
Same! I wish I could get anyone to eat pizza with me.
Pizza!
If either of y’all are in Tallahassee FL, I’m down for pizza and wine.
Biggest Balls in the Room
I’m firmly in the “eyes on your own plate” club unless the other plate belongs to my kid.
Anonymous
I have literally run out of people on two dating apps (Hinge and Bumble), without finding a single person to go on a date with this weekend. Sigh. The hopeless romantic in me still believes there is a person out there for me but….where is he!? Not a question, just needed to vent!
Anon
Try expanding one or two of your filtering criteria and see what pops up.
Anonymous
OP here – I literally only have one filtering criteria on! That’s the most annoying part because I felt I was being so open!
Anon
Yes, Bumble at least is doing this to slow people down if you swipe left too much. Change either the age or the distance setting, even by one number, and you’ll get a new batch, including people who were within your original settings. This definitely works in my enormous metro area.
Anonymous
I will try this, thanks!
Anon
Oh and if you actually use the filters, turn them off. Many people don’t use them so you might be missing great people who just didn’t fill those out. Good luck!
Anonymous
Why not go out into the world and try to meet someone new IRL? Say . . . a bar or restaurant or poetry reading where people gather and converse. Have a conversation. Be open. You may not be interested in that person, but maybe that person has a friend who would be a match. Maybe you have to socialize with that person again to find that out. But then you will have met two people, or four, or eight. I did this two weeks ago. I met a couple on a date and we ended up sharing our appetizers. Then I met two single men hanging out together. A week ago we all met up with 8 other people including at least two more single men and a woman I will now go to the theatre with and a married couple who were delightful. Then last night, I went out on my own for dinner and ran into one of the original single guys and a friend of his — a charming, attractive, age-appropriate, single man who asked me out. We then collected contact info from two others so we can invite them to join us for our next group meetup. This works. It has worked for decades.
Anonymous
Ok that’s so great for you! Congrats on being so perfect and smug!!
Anon
I’m not the person you’re responding to but what she said doesn’t make her smug. It is literally how people met before dating apps. So yes it has worked, for decades if not centuries.
Anonymous
So, my theory is that the availability of dating apps actually makes people a bit less likely to ask each other out in person. I’ve been on aps on and off over the years, and I’ve gotten a number of messages online from guys who I’d previously met IRL. “So happy to see you online, it was great to meet you at Betsy’s birthday drinks!” It’s like they feel more comfortable extending themselves within the context of a dating app than at a party talking to a new acquaintance or whatever. On some level it’s understandable, but it also makes me sad…
Anon
Well, I have all kinds of theories about dating apps, mainly that they’ve created a generation of people (mostly men) who just want to serially date forever because something better might be out there. But that’s another conversation.
My point was, it is still possible to meet someone IRL and in some ways it’s preferable.
Says the person who met her husband on match in 1998, so yes I know I’m a hypocrite.
Ellen
I agree. The OP was not smug, and it took her a while to write up all of this for the woman who can’t find a date, so why all the hostility?
She is extroverted and is also in the market for finding decent guy as we all are, so just go “lunch and learn” from her. If we are lucky, we will also find decent men to date and mate with this month! YAY!!
Anonymous
Something about this site I will never understand: single women who get angry when partnered women talk about dating strategies that helped them find a partner.
If I want to run a marathon, I’m going to want advice from someone who has successfully run a marathon. I don’t understand why someone who is partnered posting about how they met their partner or made apps work for them garners such hostility. No one is trying to be smug; they are just trying to help. If you weren’t so defensive, sensitive and reactive, Anon at 5:00, you might learn something that would help you.
Anon
You may be the one outlier for whom this work, but for the vast majority of people, it does not work.
Anonymous
I don’t know what would make me an outlier. Plus, it is working (or in the process of working) for all of these other people in the group. It helps that I have kept my socializing to my neighborhood, so I am more likely to run into the same people. Other than that, I can’t think of a thing.
Anonymous
Well keep congratulating yourself
Senior Attorney
I will cautiously agree with this. I first laid eyes on my husband at work, and our “official” story is that we met at our Rotary Club, but before that we were running into each other all over town and chatted with one another on at least a couple of occasions in restaurants and bars. So, yeah. Real life is still out there.
anon
You think OP has never considered going to a bar? Or trying to meet people in person? Thanks Captain Obvious. You have a pretty extensive network of single friends and acquaintances. You yourself describe it as a group. That’s what makes you an outlier, and also apparently that you live in a neighborhood with easy ways to run into people and socialize. Everyone knows that repeated, spontaneous interactions are a key to forming friendships, but it’s also well known that those opportunities decrease significantly in adulthood.
Anonymous
Anon at 6:46: so what you’re saying is that not only can you not find someone to date, you also have no friends? Have you considered that the common denominator in not being able to connect and create meaningful relationships with other people may be you? Especially if you approach other interactions with people in the same confrontative and snotty way you responded to the person posting.
Dagmar
… confrontative?
Ellen
You may be to picky. Stop looking for perfection Unless you have Gizelle Bunchken / supermodel looks, I’d try going out with a guy who is bald or a bit sloppy looking. Im sure he’d be thrilled to meet you, and who knows, by lowering your standards somewhat, you could wind up with a guy who looks like Jeff Bezos, and what’s the worst that can happen? Even if your dude is not a multibillionair, at least he will adore you for looking at him twice, and at best, you could eventually be getting the best $ex of your life from a schlubby guy like that! Go for it! At least you won’t be sitting in front of the TV all weekend alone watching other people having fun! YAY!!!
Worry about yourself
Paging the poster of the “Quick Kid Meals” thread from yesterday, I was reading the thread late and was about to post a long response until I remembered it was old and no one would see it, so I’m posting it here. I too was a picky eater growing up, very sensitive to certain food textures, and some textures still make me gag. My lunches were very basic foods in a sectioned Tupperware container: one section had cold, leftover pasta or a dinner roll; another section had some cubed leftover meat, or maybe rolled up deli meat if that was all we had; and the third section had grapes, baby carrots, or raw pepper slices.
I have more general suggestions on what to feed him for dinner at home, if he’s anything like me, but I don’t want to say too much in a random post referring to an old thread.
Black pants?
Help me settle an ongoing (and lighthearted) disagreement with my husband. Do most professional men wear black dress pants? The guys in my office never do – it’s always dark grey, navy, brown – but I can’t find a source that says black pants at the office are a no go for men. Women wear them all the time so I agree it seems like a weird rule, but I still think it exists.
Anonymous
I know an Old who says that black is for undertakers (on men, particular w/r/t suiting). I don’t know any undertakers, but since this Old was born in the 1930s, it may explain how black got to be not a thing for men’s dress pants.
Anon
I was going to comment that DH wears black suits unless he’s in trial. But then I remembered that earned him the nickname “the undertaker.”
My theory would be that apparently matching blacks is too hard for them?
anon
I was always under the impression that black suits (and I guess that would include pants) were very severe and formal. (Or, you kinda look like a cater waiter.) I don’t see true black (none .. more.. black?) often, but I do see very dark charcoal.
Ellen
Yes, I agree. The manageing partner used to wear a black suit, b/c he had an issue with incontenance from coffee and it would not show as much with the black pants when he went. But Margie knew a urologist and since he had an operation, he has started wearing lighter colored suits.
Cat
I see them occasionally, but it’s never on the… more currently dressed men in my professional orbit. Think black pleated pants with a logo polo shirt from a PGA event in the 90’s.
Maybe it’s because a black suit on a man was either formal (tux) or funereal, but women don’t have that history?
Sadie
Men in my law office definitely wear black pants. Now, they do not wear black suits, but they wear black slacks with gray sportcoats all the time.
Anon
+1 I see black pants all the time but it’s never with a matching jacket / full suit. I’ll often see an outfit for example with black slacks (and usually a softer less dark black), a button down and bright sweater, or black slacks with light blue button down and a blazer with a subtle but multicolored plaid print (so might have blue, black, brown, grey, etc. all in the same small plaid print).
Anon
My husband does, but it’s a business casual workplace – so tattersall style button front shirt, dockers style pants.
Keek
Occasionally I’ll see them but not frequently, my husband doesn’t wear them. Black suits are still a big no-go in most conservative offices.
Vicky Austin
The men in our C-Suite (healthcare, one boomer, one genx) wear them. My husband (millennial) has a pair for funerals/his nicest suit, which doesn’t come out very often. My dad (late boomer) wears a lot of khaki or stone (school setting), but might have a black pair or two for winter?
MagicUnicorn
In my office, men don’t wear black suits in summer. Winter, yes.
Ms B
The Hubs has a black on black suit that he wears to his business formal office on a regular basis. He also wears black trousers on their “casual day” with an oxford and a patterned sport coat. The Old quotient is high at his office and he has never received anything but compliments on that suit – although he did get a lecture from one of the Olds when he started there long ago about “no brown in town” – and that “rule” went out the window at the same time as the firm’s prohibition on women wearing shoes with open toes (although their dress code is that you can have open toes or open heels, but not both).
Irish Midori
I rarely see them in my office, and even then it’s usually with a subtle pattern, like a pinstripe. I agree black pants on men, particularly solid and worn as a full suit, looks dated or too “undertaker” or tux vibe. I’d never thought about it before. Weird.
BB
For those of you saying that you see black pants in formal situations…are you sure they are black-black? I’m more of the view that black-black for men is uniforms and funerals, BUT they definitely have navy pants that basically read as black until you see it next to true black. Same with super dark gray. I think I also see black with texture. What I think is out is straight flat black.
Cat
When it’s a tux? Yes, I’m sure it’s black.
BB
I meant the comments about seeing it in the c-suite situations. Tuxes are definitely black (but then they also have that stripe).
Anonymous
I have heard about the no black suit rule for men. Of course my search skills are failing me right now. But recall that the rule stems from black suits are for funeral/undertakers and waiters. I personally equate them to high school band hah.
Elle
My husband wears black pants to work with button downs and loafers. He rarely wears his black suit and if he ever does it’s without a tie unless for a funeral. His go to is typically charcoal gray or navy for work.
Anon
Has anybody here had/have a deviated septum? Or other chronic sinus issues? What were the symptoms like for you? I’ve always had a lot of sinus headaches since I was a teenager and I’m wondering if there’s something that can be done or if this is normal. Sometimes it’s definitely a cold symptom but sometimes also my head just hurts. This has been the case no matter what bc I’m on or not on, and I’m currently on a low estrogen pill. I’ve always assumed sinus issues and not migraines because I don’t have other typical migraine symptoms. Ugh, I’m just so sick of having headaches and not being able to breath fully. (I did just make an appointment with an ENT but now I’m worried I’m making a big deal out of nothing, hence my anxious comment here.)
Anonymous
Um, yes, but only recently. Turns out, have a hugely deviated septum, now fixed surgically, plus am on heavy allergy meds (have always had allergies, but they worsened since I moved to an allergy vortex). Breathing is wonderful, but it was a rough road and I feel like I lost a year of my life before it all got diagnosed and fixed.
Skipper
I had chronic sinus pain, and it turned out to be a food allergy that was absolutely no big deal once diagnosed. It doesn’t sound like that’s your deal, but I will cast a vote in favor of getting this figured out with a doctor, even if it seems minor. I can’t tell you how much quality of life increased when I stopped getting headaches.
Anon
The third alternative you might check is dental issues, particularly TMJ disorder. I have the whole trifecta of headaches, but a fgreat new dentist has helped more than amyone else. ENT referred me back to him for pain in my ears, a horrific cavity (that multiple dentisits had missed???wth?) got rid of the worst of my cluster headaches. I never would have thought either was a dental issue at all.
Good luck with the sinus or migrainr component- I don’t have any advice there.
Anonymous
FYI for those of you who hate Trump: Equinox/SoulCycle chairman is throwing a fundraising party for Trump. Anyone have a good list of businesses to boycott who support our dear racist Leader?
Anon
I would boycott Walmart for not using their enormous leverage to influence the gun debate in a positive way, but I don’t shop there anyway.
T
Do you really think that Equinox and Soulcycle support Trump because a PE firm that owns them is headed by a Trump supporter?
Anon
Taking this out of the anti-Trump and more generally into the not supporting businesses that support people or beliefs that I find despicable, I find it hard to follow sometimes because it seems like pretty much all these companies are semi-evil and they are gobbling each other up so supporting a brand I like over a brand whose CEO is a big support of something I hate feel nice then I learn they both are majority owned by the same parent company. You can’t get away from it.
To combat my main goal is to buy whatever I can small and local – it helps with a more minimalist consumer pattern as well – and to otherwise buy from companies that I find skew a little more good than evil (Costco and HEB come to mind)
anononon
Wait, did I write this in my sleep?
And love the shout out to HEB – amazing company.
anon
Woot woot! Love my HEB! I price checked household goods when I was veering too far into Amaz*n subscription territory and HEB was lower on everything I checked. Curbside delivery for the win!
Anon
Yes… small and local. I’m trying to pare down what I buy and use in general. Fortunately my tastes/hobbies are generally amenable to that. Local Co-op and family owned Indian market for groceries, 2 local garden centers for hardware/yard stuff, local feed store for pet/some hardware needs, thrift stores for clothes/furniture and I also score a bit of my thread/yarn there. Local bike store for bike repairs. There’s a local yarn store for when I’m feeling posh and want to work with really good wool (cotton lace crochet is usually my thing). I’m not saying all this to sound sanctimonious, though it may come off that way – just that it’s totally possible without breaking the bank. In a city where these options exist, it’s totally do-able and I wish more people were aware of that. My HHI is ~50k.
Pink
this might just be the thing for me to quit equinox. thanks for the info!
Anon
If it is a CEO spending his own personal money to support a corporation, it does not impact my view of the company. I think individuals should be allowed to do what they want and support who they want, even if I don’t like it. If it is a company spending corporate money or if it is a President/CEO of a company they own, then it impacts my view.
But I also feel like people just “boycott” the companies they were not going to shop at anyways. So, they will say they are boycotting walmart, but hadn’t shopped there for 10 years. But they won’t boycott Chick-fil-a, cause they just love the food and go often.
Anonymous
There’s an app for this. Check your App Store.
Legally Brunette
I just got a Costco membership — tell me what I should buy! Preference is stuff besides food or at least non-perishable food only, since I probably can only go once a month or so. Vegetarian family. Family of four, two young boys.
Some specific upgrades I’m looking to make — new towels, new sheets, and outdoor furniture. Anyone buy any of this stuff from Costco and liked it?
Veronica Mars
Costco.com is your friend–I search there for everything I need to buy first. They always have great deals. I love the Kirkland brand makeup removing wipes and their Shampoo and Conditioner (in the purple and gold pump bottles). In terms of food, they have great canned food, organic rice and grains, etc. I’ve bought some furniture sight unseen from the online site and it worked out super well. We got two occasional chairs for $500 and they’ve held up amazingly well for two years (replacing them now because they’re too large for our new space). They also have great deals on patio furniture in September, so see if there are any additional discounts.
Irish Midori
Interesting. I’m nowhere near a brick and mortar Costco. Would it be worth getting a membership just for online, or no? I’ll be back in the diaper buying phase, FWIW. (Used to buy diapers in bulk at Sam’s, let my membership lapse, not feeling strongly about going back.)
Coach Laura
Costco com has a lot of their things on the website and you don’t have to be a member to buy some/much of it. You do have to be a member to buy some things like laptops or special sale items. Look at the website first to see if you even need a membership to buy what you want/need.
Ellen
Costco com has a lot of their things on the website and you don’t have to be a member to buy some/much of it. You do have to be a member to buy some things like laptops or special sale items. Look at the website first to see if you even need a membership to buy what you want/need.
Keek
By me, they have the best price for the highest quality HVAC filters. Kirkland brand EVOO is extremely good. Dunkin Donuts coffee. Reasonable portions of heat-and-eat rice and lentils. Certain staples like dishwashing detergent, laundry detergent, etc.
I like Pottery Barn and Target (Threshold brand) for towels, but I have used Costco ones and they’re fine. They have GREAT sheet sets. I’ve heard good things about outdoor furniture but no experience.
Abby
I LOVE Costco! If you didn’t sign up for the more expensive membership (and credit card) I highly recommend! I got $450 cash back last year between the 2, which more than paid for the membership.
We have an outdoor cooler from there, I wish I bought my patio furniture from there, but it wasn’t available in stores when we were buying. Towels and sheets are frequently on sale, my mom loves their sheets, but I haven’t personally tried.
Our bar at home is stocked with strictly Kirkland liquor, and their boxed wine/3 liter bottle is pretty great considering the price.
I buy olive oil, pine nuts, Stacy’s pita chips, Kirkland tortilla chips, all paper products, dishwasher tablets, detergent, vitamins, etc. I live a mile away so I go about once a week to get gas there, but each location differs and might have sales on items not advertised in their brochure.
Anon
I agree with getting the Gold membership or whatever it’s called. I don’t love the towels I got at Costco – they’re just OK. But we spend a lot there on pretty much everything else. For very young kids, the casual clothing is good too.
Katie
I get Tide Pods and toilet paper there – the savings on those items alone made up the cost of membership for me! I’ve also used Costco.com to get a great rate on a rental car. The prices on groceries don’t always beat Aldi’s, but it’s really convenient when we need beer and grilling meats for parties in large quantities. Their price on generic allergy meds cannot be beat!
FP
Oh my goodness, I live and die by Costco.
Trust their Kirkland brand if you are on the fence about anything! I’ve had nothing but success. Good buys:
Kirkland sheets – BUY THESE. They are amazing.
Kirkland wine – specifically the rose and sauv blanc
Kirkland brand k-cups
Kirkland diaper wipes
Flowers – 2 dozen roses are usually $18
Use the website! I get La Mer cream routinely for about 20% off. Their summer stuff is great – kids life jackets, pool floaties, etc.
Movie tickets -right now my Costco has a promotion for a 4 pack of a movie chain ticket vouchers for $27.
Clothes – they will often have local team sports sweatshirts/jerseys for crazy cheap.
COSTCO ARMY
YUP. Honestly with “two young boys” i dont know how you’ve survived without a costco membership until now! :)
kirkland wine
toilet paper and paper towels
Diet Coke
Peanut Butter Pretzels
Granola bars, beef jerky. Peanuts/Nuts of ALL KINDS
outdoor furniture/garden supplies and decorations (also all summer I enviously eyeball the huge inflatable toys for lakes/pools wishing that I had reason to buy one)
Laundry detergent
Gasoline
spices – cinnamon, salt, pepper, EVOO, etc
Quinoa! Rice, pasta, grains
Anon
Oooh, I definitely like Costco for sheets and towels.
ALX emily
Booking rental cars through costcotravel.com has always been the cheapest rate I can find, to the point that I have generally stopped comparing because Costco always wins. Plus a free second driver is included.
Anon
+1000
Anon
I have their sheets and I love them. They also have great comfy basics (socks, pajamas, slippers, leggings, thermal heat clothes). Also pharmacy type goods – OTC meds. face wipes, razors, chapstick.
Food – they have a great trail mix with dark chocolate chips, nuts, dried mango.
mascot
We bought their Charisma bath towels and so far, so good. They are soft and absorbent. We also recently bought a patio dining set and it’s good quality. Our wooden furniture has held up nicely as well (10 years) and looks higher end. People are always surprised when we tell them we got it from Costco.
Anonymous
Vitamins and generic OTC drugs. Foodsaver bags, Sonicare toothbrush heads, batteries. Tires if you drive.
I don’t have sheets and towels from Costco but wouldn’t hesitate to try them. We do have two large blankets, and I really like them.
Oh, and if you celebrate Christmas, Costco has my favorite wrapping paper! I wish they’d make it non-holiday themes.
Anon
If you wear contacts, membership will pay for itself immediately
Anonymous
+1 to OTC drugs. I can get a years supply of generic claritin (loratidine) there for the price of two week’s worth at walgreens. This alone justifies my membership.
TX-IHC
Socks, underwear, undershirts, gym pants, etc. Good basics for clothes.
Granola bars, protein bars, trail mix in small packets, jerky in small packets, protein shakes, etc.
Allergy meds comes in a 365-count bottle, other generics. Also stock up on toothpaste, etc.
Paper products: TP, paper towels.
Frozen foods if you have the freezer space–I particularly love the yakisoba noodles but this may vary by region.
Kirkland brand, including wine, is 100% the same product as brand name, just purchased in bulk by Costco direct from the source before packaging. (My dad used to work for a name-brand nut mfg that also sold under Kirkland.)
Legally Brunette
Thank you all! These are great suggestions. Please keep them coming if others have ideas!
anon
If you ever get photos developed, do it at Costco–you can do it by mail or pickup at the store. The quality is the best I’ve found.
anon
Son’s girlfriend sent me Costco flowers for Thanksgiving last year – they were absolutely stunning….packaged with long stems in a long box, super fresh and ready for table arrangements ….I got so many compliments…..I highly recommend the Costco online florist order
costco fan
Love the sports b r a s I get there (Champion brand)!
anon
I got a set of towels from Costco for Christmas last year and LOVE them. Took a while to wash all the fuzz out but they are great now!
Miss
I love Costco and get almost all my casual clothes from there (online or in store). If you’re active outdoors, 32 degrees is a great brand. I also get several shoes there. I get tons of skincare and makeup from Costco online. Tires are the best price in the valley. They have lots of excellent frozen foods, especially organic vegetables (I can’t live without the bags of broccoli and they have winter squash sometimes). Electronics are great to get at Costco because the prices are good and Costco extends the warranty. Their return policy is always good so I feel comfortable buying from them. I get contact solution, prescription glasses (and sunglasses), shampoo and conditioner, oil for my car, a variety of kitchen things, reusable water bottles, toilet paper, and lightbulbs.
clementine
Super sized boxes of tampons! Towels and sheets! Throw pillows! All the snacks! Cases of sparkling water and iced tea! Dog bones! Can you tell I love Costco!?
Dulcinea
Definitely sheets. I have some I got there 10 years ago that are still going strong, and are the softest smoothest sheets I’ve ever had. And I am a sheet snob.
Anon
Didn’t read all the other comments, but if you’re in need of appliances, they have great quality & prices. Some of these are seasonal or depend on geography, but notable finds include:
Dyson stick vacuum (Animal 7+ or 8?)
Roomba
Cuisinart countertop convection oven/air fryer
Kitchenaid mixer (pro version)
Blenders – from Vitamix to Ninja
Sodastream
Salad mixes are good quality and about 3x the size of what you get at the supermarket, for the same price
Ginormous half sheet cake for $20 if you need to feed a crowd
Pies, cakes for a crowd– lots of options around the holidays
easy veggie or fruit trays
organic frozen fruit
wild frozen salmon (think it works out to ~$10/lb)
fresh salmon in the refrigerated section
Real vanilla beans (occasionally)
Vanilla extract
almond flour
Photos – used our digital negatives and printed our wedding albums here; people were super impressed with the quality
So much more! (Can you tell I <3 Costco?)
Anonymous
If you had to pick one, pretend you had the same supervising partner (jerk or not a jerk, yeller or not yeller) and same type of client in both areas, … what’s more stressful as an attorney, litigation or transactional work? Our summer interns have the idea that transaction work is a bunch of 9-5 days, happily pecking away at real estate agreements with vague deadlines months away, and litigation is highly unpredictable, discovery comes out of nowhere with a response required the next day, etc. I’ve done some litigation (banking/lending) and some transactional (real estate/M&A) and found both areas had high stress times, urgent deadlines as well as periods of drafting or waiting or “this is due in 30 days.” I’ve had closing days that are just as stressful as a trial. I have trouble picking one but am wondering if others have strong opinions.
Pink
I’ve done both. they’re both stressful in different ways. Our transaction team thinks litigation has months to prepare for vague deadlines (sometimes you do, sometimes you have an emergency temporary restraining order to prepare), while transactions need to launch/close tmr immediately. but it all depends on the deal/case.
On the whole, our transaction matters are faster paced than lit, I feel, but again, depends on what’s going on. My emergencies in litigation tended to stem for poor leadership/poor planning/partners sitting on things and then making it the junior associate’s problem to churn it out pronto, but there were at time legitimate emergency motions to prepare.
My transactions tend to be faster paced (I’m in Capital Markets) but not all transaction groups are.
January
I also did both, in a biglaw-type firm, and I generally agree with this.
In my experience, also, different personalities tend to be better at one than the other. There are plenty of people who could not happily peck away at complex commercial agreements from 9-5 everyday (or 8-6:30, which might be more realistic….) and plenty of people who hate the high-conflict nature of litigation.
Irish Midori
I think you’re spot on: Both can be boom-and-bust. Both have deadlines you can see coming from a mile away, and both can hurl last minute, we’ll-be-here-till-midnight emergencies at you on little warning. That’s life in a service market.
Ellen
Litigation is much more stressful, but more rewarding. I did non-litigation stuff, which was dull and much more regular in terms of hours, but then I got this job and have hecktic hours and deadlines, but it is so rewarding to be able to win a case and move to the next, b/c the cleints are nearly always happy with my work. YAY!!!
Anon
Lol at transactions being 9-5. From when I worked in big law the litigation team is the one with a much more predictable schedule. They generally got in at 8, left at 6, and only worked late around big deadlines. A transaction in no way is predictable and tight timelines can often mean you get put on a deal team and your life for the next six to eight weeks is gone, especially for public company deals. Yes you don’t have to appear in court (although how often does any litigator go to court these days) but everything is much faster paced. Real estate may be a little less aggressive on timelines but if you’re on a very large real estate deal with construction and finance deadlines, life will be tough, AND they have to support other practice groups with tight deadlines.
Anon
I feel like it really depends more on the matters you are staffed on than the type of practice. In my experience, litigation was always very busy and unpredictable. You never know when you are going to receive a new discovery motion, and have to file an opposition in a week. Or when you are going to receive a new complaint, and have to file a motion to dismiss. etc. Whereas, I know some transactional attorneys at my firm who never seemed to work beyond 8-6, but where also not in your big sexy transactional practice areas.
anon
Hahahaha. Aww little lawyers. That’s naive. I too thought this. Caveat that to a large degree it all depends on your practice, but a lot of new lawyers think transactional means anything that’s not litigation and don’t understand what working on deals is like. They’ve never truly experienced the unpredictability and tight turn around time of deal work and working under a deadline where the stakes are that high. I litigated for a while and then went over to a large firm where I worked in a specialty section that supported the M&A group and did other compliance and litigation work. 30 (or even 14) days to respond to anything seems like a lifetime compared with that. Even if it’s not deal work and it’s just compliance matters, the turn around time is still tight– clients aren’t going to wait 2 weeks for you to let them know what the permitting requirements are for the new thingy they want to build or find out whether they can legally sell xyz product. The overall volume of work in litigation might be higher and yes there are some times where you will just be drowned (before trial, big motions, random emergencies, lots of active cases at once) but it’s a different kind of drowning IME most of the time. You have to choose how you’d prefer to drown. Some people love the downtime of transactional and don’t mind (or even like) the last minute rush. They can tolerate the risk of having a vacation ruined or cancelling social plans. There are others (like me) who find unpredictability less tolerable and would be miserable if I routinely risked cancelling social plans/family plans/trips. With litigation, I work a lot, but I have a greater ability to choose when I work. If I’m feeling crappy or have a dinner date and there’s a deal happening, suck it up butter cup. If I’m feeling crappy or have a dinner date and a brief is due in 2 weeks, I can go home, get a good night sleep, and work on it tomorrow. I have more control of the day to day in litigation, which adds a lot to my happiness.
JazzyRose
I think the idea that transactional is less stressful than litigation is dated. The way I understand it, litigation could actually be less stressful these days because you answer more to court deadlines, trial timelines, and senior people. At least if you’re not in transactional you don’t have to answer to 24 year-old finance bros. I would hate the last-minute uncontrollability of transactional.
OMG how did I get so old?
I am sending a college-aged family member who lives across the country to buy something local-to-them for me. I am paying, but how do I get the funds to them? Is Paypal a thing for this generation or is there another send-money app that is popular and reasonably trustworthy?
Anon
Paypal, Venmo, Zelle, there are more
FP
Venmo
Anonymous
Venmo is paypal for that generation.
cbackson
I prefer Zelle because it’s instantly available in the recipient’s bank account with no additional steps, but PayPal remains the most common, followed by Venmo (which PayPal owns).
OMG how did I get so old?
Thanks! All these comments are helpful.
Anon
A note — Zelle is only going to be instantly/easily available if the recipient uses a Zelle-affiliated financial institution. While Zelle *says* that it’s easy to use with other banks via the app, in practice that’s not always the case. I’m a member of a local credit union; someone tried to send me funds through Zelle and when I gave it my debit card info it returned an ‘ineligibility’ message. The troubleshooting info is basically “try using a debit card from a different bank, and if you don’t have one then maybe you should’ve thought of that before banking with someone who isn’t one of us.”
Em
Probably Venmo.
anon
For someone college age, Venmo for sure. I don’t know anyone under the age of 35 who even uses paypal anymore (I say that as someone in her 40s).
Anon
Cashapp is used most frequently from what I’ve seen followed by Venmo. Paypal less often but still frequently used. I have never transferred money to anyone by Zelle except to a business or another bank account in my name.
Architect
My 19 year daughter uses Venmo. She and her friends use it for splitting bills, etc. I have not seen her use Zelle or Paypal.
Anon
Venmo is what my college aged daughter and all of her friends use. If you suggested PayPal she’d look at you like you needed to be gently helped across the street.
OMG how did I get so old?
Haha, this is exactly why I asked here rather than asking her!
anon
Venmo. It’s owned by PayPal.
An Old
I find the expression “an Old” to refer to people older than the user to be rude. But mostly I think it’s funny. You guys are gonna be old one day too, if you’re lucky. There’s no way around it.
Monday
Hm, I’ve never seen it used to refer to others. I have only seen as in “I’m an Old.”
Anonymous
Literally two threads up
Monday
Oops, I see now–people did it above.
anon
That thread is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone use it to refer to someone else. I’ve always heard it used in the slightly cheeky way to refer to yourself as a person who has life experience or is not up on the hip new hipness.
Anonymous
I think I’d rather be “an Old” than “elderly,” personally.
OMG how did I get so old?
Perhaps my bias is showing. I feel “an Old” conveys a bit of tongue-in-cheek respect/playfulness, while “elderly” just means…very old.
Anon
I agree.
Anon
Yeah but “an Old” is often used to refer to anyone over 50 or so. There’s a little time between 50 and the nursing home.
Anon
I feel like “an old” conveys a different age than elderly. “an old” has, in my experience, just meant someone in middle-age who isn’t up on the hip new thing. elderly means someone in retirement. But, I’ve also almost never heard anyone call someone else an old, the comment up thread notwithstanding. I’ve almost always seen it used by someone to self identify.
There's no way around it
I find the expression “Millennial” to refer to people younger than the user to be rude.
Anon
I agree!
anon
Me too! I get so frustrated by this! Also, the millennial generation spans at least 12 years–there is a lot of variation in there!
Anon
I kind of think it’s ok to refer to oneself as An Old, but it’s rude to refer to others that way.
Anon
People who refer to themselves as “an Old” aren’t really old – they’re indicating that they have more life experience than the younger person, but since they’re with it enough to use this expression, they aren’t ACTUALLY old.
Anon
Yes I know. I am An Old.
But I wouldn’t refer to others this way. I might say older than me and leave it at that.
Anonymous
I am an Old (48 and change) so the guy born in the 1930s who is still working is . . . Remarkable.
Anon
I’ve been divorced for a while now, and I’m feeling ready to try dating again. I’ve downloaded Bumble and Hinge. Swiping is pretty fun. I’m not knocking it out of the park, but I’m matching with enough folks. The problem is that as soon as we start chatting, I end up with a pit in my stomach. I’ve never actually followed through with making plans and meeting up with someone. Part of me thinks this means I’m just not ready yet, but another part of me thinks it’s always going to feel like this until I actually start meeting people. What would you do? Force yourself to have a few coffees and drinks? Wait until I don’t feel that pit in my stomach the minute I’m asked out?
eertmeert
I would go on a few coffees. Plan something with friends or family – or therapy – for afterwards who will be a good sounding board and also be willing to take your mind off things, depending on how it goes. More information is helpful. You can go on one or two coffees, think “that wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be” or it could be “well that confirms it – not ready, gonna duck out for a few more months.”
I am very action oriented, though. I’d rather get feedback along the way than guess. Grain of salt, though: I’ve not been through a divorce, and can imagine this approach being easier said than done, even if the divorce was years ago and amicable.
Don’t forget to tell the date that someone knows where you are and who you are with, and that you are expected to show up shortly elsewhere. And all those basic first dates safety stuff.
Anon
Suck it up and meet people despite the nerves. :)
Anonymous
I bought a flat of strawberries at the farmers market (I’m easily swayed I guess).
Anyone have a good recipe to make a cake or muffins?
Anon
One of my friends brought this to a party and it was gone in an instant:
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/15836/strawberry-pie-ii/
I’d also consider buying some pectin and making strawberry freezer jam, so you can enjoy that fresh strawberry flavor in the dead of winter.
(I make lots of cooked and water bath canned jams and jellies, but to me, freezer jam is the only way to hold onto that fresh strawberry flavor)
buffybot
The smitten kitchen strawberry cake is extremely simple and quite good.
Senior Attorney
I really like Martha Stewart’s strawberry cake: https://blog.cheesemaking.com/martha-stewarts-amazing-strawberry-cake/
Berries
Not what you asked but David Lebovitz has a great recipe for homemade strawberry vodka – used it with some of my flat of berries.
anon
Bisquick shortcake recipe, topped with the berries (macerated in sugar) and a little milk.
A diva
Is it okay to clean out a diva cup at work? If your workplace has single stall washrooms? Or is this something you should only do at home?
Fellow Diva
In a single stall bathroom I definitely think it’s fine. Just make sure not to leave blood in the sink. In a multi-stall restroom you can bring one of those squirt top water bottles in with you and rinse it out into the toilet.
Anon.
I would not wash the cup in the communal sink, but that’s just me. I find the logistics a bit difficult – taking it out (and then what? Do you have a 2nd cup handy?), touching the door handles etc with unwashed hands, having rinsed off stuff in the sink when someone could walk in …
If I empty it at work at all, I usually just wipe it with toilet paper. If it’s a really heavy day, I may take a water bottle into the stall to rinse it.
Anon
Yes please don’t do that in the communal sink.
Anon
I would totally do it in a single stall bathroom. But I find that I only need to empty my cup once a day so I do it at home by default.
Diva Cup
I only need to do it once a day, so it tends to happen at home, but if I’ve needed to reposition at work I just remove, dump, tissue off and re-insert. It doesn’t really need to get washed out every time. I use tissue on my hands so I’m good to get to the sink.
Nother Diva
Single stall? I wouldn’t hesitate. Multi stall? Nope.
Coloring my view: My workplace has bathrooms that are thoroughly cleaned each night. And no one is washing up or changing in the restrooms because we have a gym on site that people use for that. If I knew someone was washing their hair in there or brushing their teeth I might reconsider just out of courtesy, but honestly people are washing poo germs off their hands anyhow so it’s not really any different.