ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Pleated Midi Dress

A woman wearing a Melloday black printed long sleeve dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Few things get me more excited than a great dress with sleeves. You just grab one thing from your closet and you’ve got a whole outfit! Perfect for dark winter mornings when just getting yourself out the door is hard enough.

This black-and-white number from Melloday would work beautifully with black tights and flat boots. Throw on a cozy cardigan if you’re looking to dress it down, or a blazer to jazz it up.

The dress is $49.97 at Nordstrom Rack and comes in sizes XS–XL.

For plus sizes, this dress from NY Collection is $35 and available in 1X–3X.

Sales of note for 1/1/25 (HAPPY NEW YEAR!):

194 Comments

  1. Does anyone here do lap swimming? I recently joined a group beginner’s class and love it. Any advice for someone new? TIA!

    1. Invest in a comfortable swimsuit that doesn’t ride up or slouch down. Wash it out immediately after wearing.

      Find googles that work for you.

      Electrolytes are good. People get foot cramps when they don’t have enough.

      Your class should teach you everything else.

    2. I’d love this information too. I am intimidated by having to work into sharing a lane. I’d love some basics about etiquette.

      1. As for lane sharing, you should be “circle swimming” which means you’re swimming on the right hand side of the lane. This allows for “traffic” in both directions.

        If someone touches your foot, they’re letting you know they’re going to pass you.

        If you are taking a breather, do it on the wall not mid lap (yes it seems obvious but some people seemingly don’t know that)

        1. Circle swimming is a know-your-pool situation. At mine, swimmers split a lane when there are only two people swimming. Generally if a third person shows up they wait until someone gets out. At Masters practice, we circle five or six to a lane. Because swimmers are sorted by speed, there are no collisions (but it does make it choppy).

          My advice is to stick with it because endurance tends to improve quickly, but don’t try to increase yardage too soon.

      2. The rule is that you swim on the right side of the lane. However, not everyone knows this, as evidenced by my experience swimming in a lane with a guy the other evening. He had one side and swam on that side exclusively while I had the other, which drove me nuts but we did well enough.

        1. I always did this when I swam on a swim team, but as an adult swimming recreationally (not in any sort of masters class), people prefer to split the lane!

          1. Yep– a lot of people split the lane when there are two swimmers and switch to circle swim when it’s three.

    3. I swam competitively for a long time!

      When you’re on the wall taking a break or doing intervals, stay in a corner/to one side to allow for other swimmers to make their turns easily. Lap pools are organized in an increasing order of faster to slower swimmers and it’ll morph as people come and go – if you find you’re a lot slower or faster then the others in your lane, look around and consider moving to help with the flow. There shouldn’t usually be a lot of passing in an average lane.

      I don’t know how common this is anymore, but if there aren’t a lot of people and you’re in a lane alone and someone comes to join you, they may ask not to circle swim but to parallel swim, or keep to one side.

      When you are joining a lane, try and let others know you’re getting in or just get in without disrupting their swimming.

      Pay attention to what others are doing so you’re not potentially creating a collision when you’re new or working on different strokes – stay on your side of the lane to the best of your ability and if you’re going to work on butterfly when others aren’t, let them know. Practice putting your head back to check the wall (and other people) if you’re working on backstroke.

      1. Related to backstroke – if there are flags hanging over the pool, those are 5 yards from the wall to alert you it is near and prepare to turn.

        If you ever really want to see a scrum, watch group warm-ups at an overcrowded youth swim meet. 25 kids sharing a lane; have fun!

    4. Always wet your hair before you get in the pool because your hair is like a sponge – if it’s already full of water it can’t absorb as much chlorine.

      There are a number of companies that make chlorine shampoos to help with chlorine buildup

      When I did swimteam I loved a V05 hot oil treatment every so often.

      Always always wear flip flops in the locker room, and never ever step in a puddle in bare feet if you can avoid it.

    5. I am a swimmer!
      -congrats on starting and great that you are in a class.
      -look for a US Masters swim club if you want ongoing coaching and camaraderie (all levels welcome)
      -etiquette covered above
      -I like the Paul Mitchell clarifying 3 shampoo after swimming
      -I prefer silicon over rubber caps
      -if you struggle learning the flip turn, learn it for backstroke then add the twist needed for freestyle

  2. I travel a lot internationally for work and am looking for a new plane outfit. Are there any matching sets y’all would recommend?

    Looking for:
    – Soft pants, like yoga pants or jeggings, not leggings. Ideally with pockets.
    – short sleeved or sleeveless top
    – soft sweater, again ideally with pockets

    I travel with coworkers so should be appropriate for that. I get cold on flights but also sometimes need the option to be wearing a lighter top underneath

    1. Girlfriend Collective’s ReSet line. Joggers and a few styles of tops in a really soft fabric.

    2. I just bought the Athleta Brooklyn Heights High Rise Wide Trouser and a merino t-shirt from Icebreakers for travel.

    3. For the sweater, the J Crew sweater blazer, it’s cozy while still looking put together. The pockets are massive and fit my phone, airpods, card wallet, boarding pass and passport easily.

      1. The Quince sweater blazer also works well for this. I love to wear mine to travel because it’s so comfortable but I also feel very put together. Athleta is having a sale right now if you wanted to pick up pants.

    5. Eileen Fisher crepe pants for traveling — you can get them second hand for a good price on poshmark or thredup. They are comfy and look professional enough.

      1. PSA: Eileen Fisher is having a good sale now. It has been going on for a while, so selections may be limited.

      2. Those pants are part of my long-standing travel outfit.

        Sleeveless top, EF pants, compression hose, slip on shoes with a sneaker sole, add a cozy cardigan and a pashmina. The plane can be boiling hot or way too cold. I like to be able to adjust.

        I switched from carrying a wool coat to a “packable” puffer a long time ago. The flight attendants will move your coat if it’s folded and taking up overhead space, but I squish up my puffer on top of my roller bag and it fits in that space fine – no one has ever bothered it

        I do have a puffer that’s more like a parka for REALLY cold destinations/times of year, but I tend to keep that with me like a lap blanket. The packable puffer works 95% of the time though.

      1. came here to recommend wide leg vuoris. so soft and the wide leg makes them slightly more public facing.

  3. Hello, ladies! I’m getting deep into the application process for a job that’s going to be 75% travel for the first few years – the government agency I’d be working for has six major cities they serve in this district, including my home city, and they want to rotate me through each of them. The job has remarkable pay and benefits, the union guarantees cost-of-living raises, and it’s in my dream field (aviation-related), so I want it, but my parents both always had “travel a week a year or less” jobs and I have no practical experience with what this kind of job would mean. I live with my parents and they’re happy to let me stay with them when I’m rotated home, which removes a lot of the major problems, but what else am I not considering as a downside because it’s just too far outside my frame of reference? (I am aware that, since it’s an aviation-related job, all I’m likely to see of most cities is the airport I’m flying into/working at and its adjacent hotels.)

    1. Do it. Now is the time in your life to make that jump and take those jobs.

      I wouldn’t say the same thing to someone with a spouse and kids. The problem with travel jobs when you have a spouse and kids is that they are the ones who pay for it. Spouse does a lot of kid duty, your kids might not be able to do activities they want to do because there is only one adult to drive them, you don’t see your kids and your kids don’t see you. It can really limit your spouse’s career trajectory, because they might not be able to take a job with even minimal travel. (What happens when their mandatory once-per-quarter two day trip to corporate HQ overlaps with your constant travel demands? Who takes care of the kids?)

      The only downside I see is if being in this field *always* means heavy travel, because you would run into the above problems.

      1. +1 – you are actually perfectly positioned to take this job. One of the bigger annoyances of a high-travel job is just keeping up with your home base — things like minor maintenance and cleaning. But if you live with your parents, then that’s a non-issue for you. The biggest downsides to a lifestyle like this are wellness and social impacts, both of which you can minimize if you’re thoughtful about it. Wellness meaning prioritizing healthy eating and exercise — it’s easy for it to feel like a vacation because you’re away from home, but you can’t live like that long-term without impact. And social – how hard it will be to keep up with friendships or relationships. Social media makes that a lot easier but there may come a point when you don’t want to be on the road for your friend’s birthday again. One pro that may also help – depending on how the rotation is structured, it may be a huge financial bonus for you if they give a per diem for the nights away. And you’ll rack up hotel and airline status which can pay off down the road (and give you things like room upgrades that will boost your QOL).
        What’s the travel schedule like, and how long do you expect to be in the job? It sounds like great experience.

    2. I’d reframe your initial sentence to “a job that’s going to be 75% living in 5 other cities for the first few years.” Because that’s what you’d be doing…rotating through living in these 5 other places for however long you’re there (week? weekend? month?). It’s not random travel; you’d start to develop routines in each place.

    3. Do you mean you’re doing 2 months in a row in each place, or hopscotching around all the time?

      1. +1 the answer to this charges my advice.

        Are you on a consultant schedule (travel during the week, weekends at home) or a rotational schedule where you live somewhere for a few months at a time with no (or limited) travel home?

      2. Yes I had an 80% travel job for many years and loved it but living different places vs consultant type schedule is different. I liked earning miles/points and seeing friends in other cities, I also had a certain amount of control and was sometimes able to make work travel align with needing to be somewhere for fun reasons too. Much better if you get per diem and credit card points than tracking food and employer keeping points. But it DOES make a social life hard—I couldn’t reliably commit to anything that wasn’t on weekends—even when I thought I could like “oh my plans have me free Thursday nights this month!” I often had to change travel or got delayed and missed 3/4 classes or whatever. But doing it while young and unencumbered, especially living with parents (I mostly had roommates) is great!

    4. I had an 80% travel job before kids and I loved it. It gave me a chance to really pare down to the basics: I had three or four outfits in rotation, a kindle with an endless supply of books, and a good pair of walking shoes for mini day-adventures in new cities. Eating healthy was a challenge since I ate out so often and rarely had access to an actual kitchen to prepare my own food, but many of the cities I went to had a Whole Foods salad bar that worked in a pinch. Wasn’t my thing at the time, but dating would have been hard if that was a priority (but one-night stands could have been bountiful!)
      No regrets. It’s not for everyone, but you can get into kind of a groove with it.

      1. On travel, I eat a lot of yogurt and breakfast-as-dinner in a hotel (more yogurt or oatmeal) with a microwave. For lunch, I try to do my best. Hotel gyms or find a good local running route.

    5. I did this for three or so years, although I was traveling internationally, which was exciting but also more challenging. I really liked it, and got to see much of the U.S. and the world on someone else’s dime. A few things that helped me:

      1. Automate all your bill paying
      2. Back up important data to a cloud — if you lose your phone, you still can access your data
      3. Try to earn loyalty points to get upgrades, but don’t get crazy about it. I would sometimes stress trying to get a room at “my” hotel, and it’s not worth it.
      4. If you rotate to the same places, see if there is a way to leave some personal things. I left a small duffel with shampoo, running shoes, charging cords, etc. in our Brazil office for two years.
      5. Figure out a schedule that works for you. For example, I’d arrive at a location and not relax or sleep, but go out and about. That helped me adjust quickly.
      6. Check in with yourself once or twice a year to make sure this is still working and if you need to adjust. I travelled like crazy, and then one trip I realized I was done when the car service arrived. Don’t be that person! Looking back, I realize it was connected to new cost saving measures like having to track the cost of a cup of coffee in Excel that pushed me over the edge.
      7. Where you can, get out and do things. They don’t need to be big things or special things, just get out and be in the area.

      This is a great opportunity, and at least for me, really informed parts of my life, I hope it’s the same for you.

    6. Just chiming in to say definitely do this now. If you are in a serious relationship or have kids this type of schedule would be very difficult. I had a boyfriend who did the typical consultant traveling and if he kept that up, I’d essentially be forced into being a single mom. He’s an ex for a reason.

    7. I’m currently in a job where I travel 4 times a year internationally for at least 2-3 weeks each time. It’s fantastic and I was just thinking how lucky I am to have it. I think def do it especially since you’ll have your parents place as a home base. I am not sure I would
      do this job if I had kids – coworkers have partners/spouses but it would be hard to leave kids behind for that long

    8. Do it! I used to travel a lot for work when I was younger and I think it was a great experience. It sounds you’re at a point in life where there’s nothing holding you back – no kids, no house. Eventually you develop your own routine that you can take to different places. The downside is that it can complicate a social life if there are things you want to be home for, it can make it harder to date, and eating out a lot can be unhealthy. You can manage all those things, though.

    9. I don’t travel nearly as much–about 30% of the time. Negatives I would weigh: You won’t be able to have a pet (doesn’t matter to most folks but has become hard for me as a dog person). What will your healthcare look like (no big deal if your scheduling a dental appointment or physical but what will that look like if something changes (I recently was diagnosed with a chronic condition and working in appointments and constantly rescheduling is sometimes brutal. How appealing are the five places you’ll be going? “Away” doesn’t always mean better.

    10. Do it. You can always reassess in a couple of years if it still works for you or if you need to transition to a position that requires less travel. I have a friend who works a travel intensive job. But it was through the traveling that she met her now partner who works for the same employer, just in a different office. Work now assigns them to the same projects half of the time so they aren’t separated year round. The caveat here is that neither wants kids and both enjoy staying in this field. That’s why I say you can give it a go and re-assess where you are two years from now based on what you want your life situation to be.

    11. Do it. My husband used to travel a ton for work in his 20s and he is so wistfully fond of those days. Definitely not something he wants to do now in his 40s but also something he’s so glad he did.

    12. I had a job for three years that was 40-50% international travel. The upsides were it was fun and exciting and I learned so much – an excellent experience. You should go for it! The downsides are practical ones – the food in your fridge at home goes bad if you don’t plan, it’s expensive buying food in the new location all the time, you have to really work at it to get to any gym regularly unless you run outside, your personal relationships can take a hit (or benefit, depending!). What I wound up really not liking was packing and unpacking all the time so I just bought two of everything and kept one set of personal care/makeup/chargers/teas/slippers/pajamas/basic clothing permanently packed unless it was being washed. Pro tip is to bring a plastic fork/knife/spoon set with you. I also brought a mini french press (ikea) and collapsible kettle for coffee.

    13. A basic thing is you won’t see your friends much and unless you know people in the other cities, will need to figure out what to do with your time there. If you are happy spending a lot of time on your own or it’s easy for you to jump into new places, you’ll be great – lots of opportunities to check out new exercise classes, restaurants, the culture of different places – but if you like having standing trivia night and brunch and happy hour with your friends every week, you might get lonely.

  4. Any recommendations for high yield savings accounts? I know I really need to get started with one but am having trouble choosing.

      1. I’ve been using them since they were ING Direct and still happy with them.

    4. I have a Capital One HYSA because they’ve been my main bank for a long time, and a Marcus one because a friend sent me a referral. Both were extremely easy to set up and track online deposits and interest.

    5. We’ve been happy with Ally and use both the high yield savings and no penalty CDs, which lock in high yields for a longer time but you can still take your money out whenever you want. But I agree, there’s not much difference, just go ahead and pick one rather than continue to miss out on high interest rates.

      1. I also have Ally but have been meaning to switch after learning about the cyberscecurity issues / how poorly they handled customer service when something went wrong. I haven’t had that experience but my understanding is that when it’s right, it’s great, but when it’s wrong, it sucks. Take that with a grain of salt as it’s entirely possible other banks have similar cons.

        1. Yeah, I’m well aware of that, but I have zero faith that the others are any better. I posted below that I still have an account with USAA, my husband also has a checking account elsewhere, and we have credit cards and investment and retirement accounts with at least four other institutions (partially out of choice, partially due to employer decisions). Ally’s handled our issues as well as any of the others and at least there’s no risk of all of our money getting caught up in any one bank’s issues!

      1. +1 and after a quick google their rates are higher than others listed here (4.75 currently)

      1. USAA is great for many things, but not this. I still have a checking account with them, but I moved my savings to Ally years ago, where I’m currently getting 4.35% instead of 1.1% and higher in a no penalty CD.

      2. USAA’s insurance is outstanding. Their banking is fine- but not as high yield as you’ll get elsewhere. They also don’t have branches so if you need to do something weird (say cash a bunch of old savings bonds etc) you’ll have to go elsewhere.

    10. I have gotten the best rate at Wealthfront, but I also use Ally and have a very financial savvy friend who uses Amex.

    11. I use Ally because I’ve been set up there for 10+ years. We used to use Capitol One a decade ago and switched, although I don’t remember why, but they just had some nonsense about screwing over long-standing account holders by giving them lower interest rates.

      I’ve heard some bad stuff about Ally also (bad customer service, IIRC), but I like that it’s incredibly easy to set up multiple accounts, and even within those accounts to set up different buckets based on how you want to see the money divided. Takes me about 3 minutes to set up a new account for a different purpose – same with CDs, it takes about 3 minutes.

      Marcus is the new kid on the block, I think, but I know a lot of people here really like them.

    12. Do you have an IRA / brokerage account at Fidelity?

      I use them now as my bank/high yield savings account. Great rates.
      I use their 2% back on everything credit card too.
      It’s really nice using one website to see everything…. retirement/investments/”bank”/credit card.
      I do all my bill pay on there too.

      1. +1. I use Fidelity CMA (cash management account) as a high yield checking account. The trick, though, is to move your cash from the core position to a money market (currently ~5%) that will auto-liquidate to cover overdraft. Since the core position only pays ~2.7% currently. Of course you can also just use a regular Fidelity brokerage account where core positions pay 5%, I just prefer some debit card features associated with a CMA like zero fees for international ATM withdrawal.

    14. Do you have a credit union in your area? I have two and while one is woefully behind the times (just introduced mobile check deposit last fall!), the other is fantastic and has far better rates on almost any product, with lots of local branches and ATMs, and has fee-free/reimbursement agreements with CUs across the country.

  5. A formerly very close friend (our old neighbors from another town- still keep in touch but we used to be talk-every-day close) let me know that her husband, who has stage 4 liver cancer (she told me when we had brunch in early fall), is no longer responding to treatment. (1) how do I respond do this text? “That sucks, I’m sorry” isn’t enough. (2) any advice on what I can offer to do? They have kids in elem/middle school and we are within a drive but not close enough for day-to-day type help (we are about 30 minutes/3 towns over so obviously can get there!).

    1. “I’m so sorry. I’d love to bring you dinner, happy to drop off or stay, totally up to you. What night works for you and do you have any food restrictions? Any other errands I can run? Do you need anything from the store?” In person, I’d feel out what else she might need. You might offer to sit with him for a while so she can get some rest or take a walk, or take her out for a walk, or any number of things that are sort of individual.

      I usually put together a “stay well” bag for the family when a close relative dies, but I think it works well in this situation too. Immune support stuff like emergen-C or airborne, vitamin C or elderberry gummies, Tylenol/ibuprofen, a few pocket size packs of tissues, Benadryl, cold medicine, hand sanitizer preferably in a nice scent.

    2. Ugh. I don’t think there’s anything magical you can say but I’d definitely say something more involved than that sucks. But the sentiment is basically that, plus offering to do whatever she needs help with. Do you have kids who are friendly with her kids and/or do her kids know you well enough to feel comfortable spending time with you?

      Maybe something like, “Oh, [insert name], I’m so sorry to hear that. Life is so incredibly unfair. We want to be there for you in any way that is helpful.”” And then follow up with specific offers like taking her kids to a fun activity or a playdate with your kids, dropping off dinner (offer a few specific dates for her to choose), dropping off groceries or something like that.

    3. Ask if her husband would like you to visit. Being terminally ill is very isolating, but having someone come chat with you, even if it’s only for 15 minutes, can be so uplifting. This can also give his wife a little respite.

    4. In addition to what others have said, I’d offer to babysit. Not sure if kids are that age need a babysitter but if they do, hanging out with the kids so she can take care of herself and her husband would be amazing.

      1. They don’t really need babysitting, they are 8.5 and 13 so they stay home together.

        His brother lives around the block from them and has same-age kids so they are providing that day-to-day support, including home maintenance (she is totally capable of maintence but it’s obviously awesome when someone else mows the grass) which is wonderful. Our kids are friendly but not really friends anymore- we moved several years ago and the kids haven’t really stayed in touch (and you know how 13 y/os are!).

    5. Text back whatever makes sense with your friendship then go to Walgreens. Find a funny card. Grad a couple gift cards for drive through delivery meals (I’m usually a fan of dominos/pizza hut or frankly mcdonalds). Tell her to have a no stress dinner on you. Then just be there for her – even if that means that you two go sit somewhere and grab coffee and spend an hour not talking about the “thing” and talking about celebrity gossip.

      1. +1 to the delivery meal gift card. Maybe Doordash or Uber Eats or whatever they like.

    6. “Thank you for sharing with me. I am heartbroken hearing this. I’m sure you are feeling the same. It goes without saying that I am here for all of you. I’d like to XYZ, does Saturday work?”

    7. Nothing to add to the great advice here except to follow up with her a bit later – I always think it’s nice to send a “you’ve been in my thoughts, sending good vibes” kind of text that doesn’t need a reply but lets you know you’re with her.

    8. As a woman on the other side of the situation-

      Do simple things without asking- just cook the dinner, come straighten up the kitchen, offer to get oil changed etc.

      Agree on the person who said to stop by and chat with the husband.

      The questions are overwhelming at times.

      Even if her brother does day to day stuff, I promise there are never ending things to do and they need breaks too.

    3. My first impulse was to buy it! I talked myself out of it, but this is a good dress by all appearances.

  7. Planning an intergenerational trip next year with 9, 11, and 13 year old boy cousins, 75 year old grandparents, and the 40 something ‘kids’ and our spouses. We’re all meeting in Vienna for a few days but then the rest of the itinerary is TBD. We’ve agreed on 1-2 more cities max (parents are used to the 10 cities in 14 days type of European trip but with kids I’d like a more relaxed pace). The grandparents and I are both big on art/culture and could happily museum hop but the kids and my husband/sister/BIL can tolerate maybe 1-2 museums tops.
    With that in mind I’m leaning towards either Prague or Budapest as a second location, though I’ve heard Innsbruck might be nice if we want to do something more athletic/hike (parents would take the funnicular, not hike). Thoughts? Other places you’d suggest?

    1. To me, Vienna, Prague, and Budapest are all the exact same thing. Sure they are different places. But fundamentally they are all a historic capital city with interesting architecture cafes museums and palaces. And it sounds like while you will love that, the whole group won’t!

      I’d definitely consider something less urban. Google “family resort alps”. So many options

      1. +1. I would definitely try to mix it up a bit more, especially for the sake of the non-museum lovers. I would do something like Stanglwirt for part of the trip. It is a gorgeous resort in the Austrian alps.

    2. I am a huge Sound of Music nerd, so I’d be all over Salzburg, making dresses out of curtains, and hanging out of trees.

    4. Prague over Budapest. I loved Budapest but with Hungary’s decent into authoritarianism I would skip it (not for personal safety reasons, just to ‘vote’ with your dollars).
      Innsbruck is small. Have you been to Munich? It’s kid-friendly, has lots of museums and art, and solid day trips if you want. Biergarten culture is lovely for non-museum people.

        1. Oh, and in the English Garden (their version of Central Park) they have a really cool artificial surfing wave where you can stand on the bridge overhead and watch people take turns surfing. Maybe the kids could even try it.

    5. I have a soft spot for Innsbruck because I lived there for 6 months. What time of year are you going? Are you doing train or drive or combo.

      Have been to Vienna, Munich and Budapest. They are similar (ish). If it’s the kids first trip to Europe I would do Vienna, then something more nature/outdoorsy then maybe a stop in northern Italy and fly out from there. Time of year matters a lot.

    6. Prague and Budapest may both be options (in Budapest you can walk up the hill to the castle, it’s intense). Prague was too touristy for me compared to Budapest. And by touristy, I just mean there are a lot of tourists, and it didn’t feel like we got a real feel for the city. Salzburg would also be a solid, smaller city option. Do a tour of a salt mine if you go there. Outside of Vienna there is some great hiking. The one that I know the most about is a hiking trail that the younger folks could do on Rax Mountain (there’s a cable car for the grandparents I believe) that ends at the Ottohaus. Stunning way to spend a day/night in the Alps.

    7. OP – should have provided time of year! We’d be looking at Memorial Day or early June for the trip. My mom is German and has spent lots of time in the country so she’d rather go somewhere new to her otherwise I’d lobby for Berlin. I hadn’t realized how close Vienna/Paris and Vienna/Florence are by flight so I could propose that as I think we’d all rather do city centers over hikes (we’re city people, not outdoorsy).

    8. In Prague and Budapest, we took really interesting walking tours of Jewish History (3/4 day) and Communist History (3/4 day). All led by historians. The pace, physically, would work for all your ages, and the docents/historians are dynamic enough to make it interesting for all your ages. It really makes history fascinating and so alive, and it also includes architecture and art. I assume they are also available in Vienna, I just haven’t been there.

    9. We were in Innsbruck last summer and it’s really lovely but it is small and I don’t think there is enough to do there for more than a couple of days. If you want hikes, head to the Dolomites.

    10. It’s been 25 years since I visited any of those places but I really enjoyed Krakow in my eastern Europe trip. I would also consider Salzburg, although it is almost Disney-level cute. Prague and Budapest were lovely too, and I don’t think they were that similar to each other or Vienna. Linguistically, Hungarian is also wildly different.

    11. I did a train trip that was Prague, Salzburg, Vienna, Budapest. I loved Salzburg as a Sound of Music fan and its not a fast paced city. Between Prague and Budapest, I liked Prague better.

    12. I’ve been to all the places listed (and lived in two!) and I’d go to Prague considering the age mix and your interest in some (but not only) art and culture. Budapest is very cool for an adults-trip; I feel the main attractions are bars, music venues, and the baths. Prague has a vibrant art scene, easy access to all sorts of historical sites depending on the period that appeals, great architecture, great restaurants, and is very small and walkable. Innsbruck is fairly boring compared to the other three, it is not a capital, but a small town. If you want a small town I’d rather suggest Salzburg.

  8. Has anyone tried Dr. Dennis Gross Skincare Alpha Beta Universal Daily Peel Pads? I keep coming across them every few months, putting them in my Sephora cart, and then abandoning them because they’re more expensive than my normal skincare. However I’m very intrigued.

    1. I’m a skincare junkie. I much prefer the M-61 Powerglow peel to the Dr Dennis Gross ones.

    2. I don’t see any material difference in the active ingredients in those vs. the Stridex ‘gentle’ pads (green container). Eveything else that’s in those pads is basically a very low concentration of another exfoliant or some soothing ingredients. I’m a skincare nerd and if you’re interested in an OTC peels it’s really hard to beat the Ordinary, CosRX, or Stridex for the right amount of active ingredients. This is an old post but I still refer to it when people are trying to figure out what to use for their skincare routines:
      https://www.fanserviced-b.com/a-visual-guide-to-the-korean-skincare-routine/

      1. That chart is so helpful!!!

        I’ve tried a few different OTC peels and like them! but no daily ones, I’m curious about adding.

        I love The Ordinary products and will check out those other options!

    4. I have sensitive skin so I only use an acid exfoliant once a week or so, but when I do, I often use Sunday Riley Good Genes. It’s expensive, but my bottle has lasted forever. It uses primarily lactic acid, I think, so is gentler than some other options.

      One thing I do know is that glycolic acids or AHAs are better for gradual surface exfoliation, and BHAs like salicylic acid (Stridex) is what works on blackheads because it’s oil soluble and blackheads are trapped oil.

  9. I’ve had some light spotting 3 days before my period is due which I’ve never had before. I guess this is totally normal but also sometimes I hate the mystery of how your body works!

    1. I hate the mystery too; when something is different, it’s not just magic. There is some underlying reason. It’s just not been researched because it’s women’s health, so it’s not considered important…

      1. Exactly! Or it takes forever to get to a doctor who will even listen that it’s weird for your body.

        OP— I’ve started getting this as well. It’s weird! I’m trying to take it as a positive that I’m getting a warning instead of resenting that it adds longer to the period process every month….

    2. It can be totally normal. I’ve had that in a few consecutive cycles and as far as I could tell I was healthy (I got pregnant soon after). It could also be a sign of low progesterone if it continues for many cycles, or possibly an indication of perimenopause.

      1. +1. It can be normal. It also can be a sign that something else is going on, like low progesterone or fibroids. If the symptoms aren’t actually bothersome or problematic, I would try to let it go, annoying as it is.

        1. Not the OP, but it is bothersome and problematic to me to have unscheduled, unpredictable spotting. If it’s healthy then I want to be BETTER than healthy, like I am when I’m not spotting… which seems achievable since not spotting is what is actually normal for me!

          So often by “normal” doctors just mean “our standards are pretty low and lots of our other patients are dealing with stuff we won’t help them with either, since we regard it as a mere inconvenience.” But I want a better quality of life than that.

          1. Yes, I get that. It’s definitely hormonal in basis, but hormones fluctuate. If its 1-2 cycles, it’s annoying but is some variation on healthy — think of it like having a headache; if you get one a year, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have a tumor or even that you’re dehydrated, it could just be an annoying thing that happens one day and your body adjusts.

            If it goes on cycle after cycle, then there is most likely a health issue at play, and you do need to push for appropriate hormone testing to figure it out.

            A lot of people refer to the menstrual cycle as “the fifth vital sign” because it can signify so much about overall health. But unfortunately that only applies if you have a natural cycle, with no artificial birth control. Since it’s so easy to prescribe BC for symptoms, and since so many women will readily go on it, there’s not a great demand for getting to the bottom of the CAUSES.

    3. Same. I thought it was perimenopause but bloodwork and ultrasound say I’m nowhere close. I have a hard time figuring out what to consider day 1 of my cycle. Some doctors say ANY bleeding is day 1, others say first day of full flow. Based on LH levels it seems like the latter is probably true; I’m ovulating consistently on day 15 counting from first full flow, which would be 18 days after first spotting.

      1. I consider first full day of normal bleeding to be day 1, and this seems to be the more prevalent definition. I do not put much stock in mainstream doctors for this — for example, no one ever believes me when I tell them I am only X pregnant because I ovulate late, and after correcting them twenty times I have the dating ultrasound and am indeed correct. (I use NFP/FAM for my family planning, and am very familiar with my cycle!)

    4. If it’s truly a one off, did you get COVID or a booster recently? This caused things to be out of whack for me (compared to normal) and gyno said they’ve seen in pop up fairly often anecdotally, and resolve within a cycle or two.

    5. I’m 47 and this has started happening to me in the last couple of years. My OBGYN did a quick ultrasound and didn’t see anything abnormal going on internally; she attributed it to hormones. She said she could tell I ovulated and menopause could happen in the next 2-10 years, which I found to be an alarmingly wide range. I also sometimes now spot around when I ovulate. So many spots, so much fun!

    6. That happens to me. I tried researching it and all I could find that it might be a sign of implantation/pregnancy which was decidedly NOT what I wanted. After about 6 months I gave up trying to understand it because it kept happening and I was definitely not pregnant each time (thank goodness).

      It does mess with tracking my period, since my period always starts light anyway – so it’s hard to tell if it’s spotting or the start of the period. Very annoying.

    7. I had uterine polyps in my late 40’s -50’s that caused spotting. They are not as alarming or dangerous as colon polyps. I had several biopsies and ultrasounds. Finally I had a D&C which my gyn had been suggesting for a couple of years. That took care of my polyps and that was pretty much the end of my periods, too.

  10. Tips and Tricks needed:

    I’m digging out of cc debt I foolishly dug into during a bout of “lost two jobs in a short period of time” and I could use some tips for not 100% losing quality of life while I funnel every spare dollar to my debt. I’m going into austerity mode but not to the point I won’t do a cup of coffee and a muffin with a girlfriend, more like “no new clothing purchases for the next 6 months” type deal.

    One of my struggles is that shopping online, window shopping, thrifting, and browsing has always been a major hobby/pleasure/quick fix when I’m down and I really want (and need!) to cut that out. Things like working out or “productive” hobbies like sewing/knitting/beading don’t really scratch that same indulgent, luxurious itch so I’d love suggestions for how to get that little “up” after a long boring day at work or a tough draining day.

    Thanks ‘Rettes!

    1. No real advice because I’m in the same boat—it’s so hard!!! I find that the busier I am, the less time I have to browse/shop. Maybe just pack your schedule with activities?

      I also find that browsing on Poshmark and liking items scratches the itch but I don’t buy the vast majority of what I like. YMMV.

    2. I find it really helpful to do a “no buy” week/month and give yourself a list of categories you won’t spend in. For instance, no online shopping. Then, when you inevitably browse and are tempted, keep a list in your phone of the things you want to buy. I tell myself that I’m allowed to buy them all at the end of the no-buy period, but of course by the time that rolls around I don’t even want the stuff I saved to that list, and instead its become a list of “look at all the money I saved by not buying this stuff!” list

    3. Requesting library books and finding fun new recipes. Bonus points if it’s a recipe that can be made entirely from things that have been lingering in the pantry, fridge, or freezer and need to be used up (I have a pretty well stocked pantry so this doesn’t make my cooking less luxurious, just less boring).

      1. this is a great idea – you can walk around the library and scratch that “browsing” itch and then check stuff out without paying anything!

        I would try to do more thrifting, honestly – it’s rare that I find something great, and it makes me realize how nothing is worth very much of anything.

        1. “it makes me realize how nothing is worth very much of anything.”

          Truth. I also get this when I do a big clean-out: no, randos aren’t going to want my stuff and most of it shouldn’t have been bought in the first place.

      2. I was also going to suggest the library! Walking in and finding a book I’ve been dying to read on the shelf makes me as happy as finding a hidden gem at a discount store.

      3. It is really easy to meander around your favorite bookstore, “shopping” and making note of books you’d like to try. While you’re in the moment, open your local library’s app on your phone and PUT A HOLD on the title/s. Unless it’s a VERY popular title, and in hot demand, you should get your hands on it pretty quickly. In many cases, I am the first or nearly the first person to request the book. And it’s free!
        If you do this on a regular basis, you can scope out the new ones, enjoy your “shopping” experience without spending much, and always have a rotating list of books waiting for you to pick up at the library and read.
        If your library has ebook lending, and you enjoy that method, you can speed up the process even more.

    5. It helps me to maintain a ‘wishlist’ of items. So it’s not that I ‘can’t’ buy that outfit, but that I’m adding it to my wishlist and will then decide on if I pull the trigger at a later date. For an extra hit of luxury I’ll sometimes take myself out for a nice coffee/treat at a certain point during the month and sit at the table reviewing my wishlist to decide what my favorite piece is and then allow myself to order 1-2 things only (or add them to cart and wait for a sale code). My brain does better with the mental framing of ‘I’m taking my time to curate a beautiful closet a piece at a time’ vs. ‘you are a bad person who overspent and now must do penance by not shopping for the next 6 months’.
      If I need an immediate boost after a bad day I try to stop by the library, or add books to my wishlist on Libby (or even buy a book on my kindle). Even 4 books/month on my kindle are less than the mani/pedi or shopping trip.

      1. All of this. Pinning things to a pinterest wish list, or using shopping sites’ wishlists, is surprisingly good for me. Sometimes I go back later and buy. Sometimes I don’t.

      2. This is great advice. I’m working toward the same thing – intentionally buying pieces and being patient for the right thing to come along (on sale).

    7. Organize your closet. Put together a few new to try outfits to give yourself a lift from the old. Plus you might find some things to sell and put the money towards the debt.
      Put a rule in your email to shift all your favorite shopping emails to a folder so you don’t see the sales.
      Use the library to find a good book to read, or see what other resources they have — our library has tickets to historic sites around us, DH and I will use them occasionally.
      Join your local FB free to give community. You might get some “new to you” items that make it worthwhile.

      1. +1 million to organizing your closet and throwing stuff away. Every time I do this I’m amazed by what I forgot about and what looks fresh and new.

    8. I go on Net a Porter and pretend I’m a billionaire shopping for a fancy event. Everything starts at $600 so there’s no temptation to buy anything.

    9. Honest answer, it wasn’t until I addressed the things that made me need that quick fix (my job) that problem really resolved itself. I know its not the answer you want, but addressing why you are down is very much the solution here.

      1. Agreed–although not to open a can of worms here but it’s not the job per se. It’s just been a tough few years (global and country events, losing a parent, recently losing a pet, losing 2 high-paying jobs in a row and taking a HUGE paycut to take a “for now” job, struggling with peri, my sister moving away to a location that’s too far to visit without a plane ride, slowly getting priced out of the housing market in my city, and just general stuff like that). I’m on anti anxiety meds and that’s helping but I’m not sure there’s one weed I can pull from the garden to see the sun, metaphorically.

    10. -library for ‘new’ books/movies/music/etc
      -keep a wishlist while you windowshop. Give yourself a small amount that you can spend on clothes and save it until you can buy what’s on it.
      -find a passive hobby that does scratch the same itch that shopping does.

    11. If you haven’t been in a while, head to your local library. Even the teeny one in my teeny town has loads of stuff in addition to a good selection of books, and all free.

    12. For me, that kind of shopping is usually about my wardrobe being sort of disorganized/inaccessible and feeling like I have “nothing to wear.” So maybe when you get that urge, head to your closet and pick out outfits for your next week/event/whatever.

    14. Are you able to window shop without buying? My friends and I had a great time window shopping at expensive stores and we bought nothing.

      The best way to live frugally and joyfully is the figure out what you love and do it for free/cheap. If you love books, movies, and video games, go to the library instead of buying. If you love plays, be a volunteer usher or go to performances at a local college for cheap. If you love window shopping, go to a store where you literally can’t afford anything so you don’t buy. Invite friends over to your place instead of meeting at restaurants.

    15. This depends on your budget, but I buy almost no clothing but instead using a monthly clothing rental service (e.g., Rent the Runway or Nuuly). I spend so much less money this way. I scratch that itch you are describing by browsing what is available and savings clothing I might want to rent for the future for lists so I can reference them when it’s time to refresh my rental. If you are spending $50 on clothing, not a helpful suggestion. If you are spending $150+ a month on clothing, it might be more helpful and help curve excess spending while scratching that itch.

    16. Please ignore if this is the wrong suggestion for you, and it’s definitely not free: adopt a cat. If the cat is young and healthy, your costs are litter, food, and an annual vet visit. The joy of having a furball nuzzle up to you is immeasurably helpful when you’re down and need a lift.

      1. Something to this. Cats are themselves ultra materialistic and LOVE new possessions, but they also love cheap junk (including actual garbage like milk caps or ties, crumpled up junk mail, etc., as well a $1 cat toys or bargain bin blankets).

        1. Their toys are also cheap and last forever. You can get several years out of a catnip toy. Dogs destroy things almost instantly.

          1. True… and it’s possible to cycle them in and out of retirement to make them “new” or at least “nostalgically exciting” again.

        2. “Cats are themselves ultra materialistic and LOVE new possessions”

          This is definitely not universally true. My cat didn’t gaf about toys.

          1. My cats prefer the cheap little felt mice with the long felt tail. They’re obsessed until they manage to chew the tail off, because then the mouse is “dead” and they lose all interest. I find tail-less felt mice behind furniture when I move it around.

          2. I’m the one who originally suggested the cat. It wasn’t about materialism or shopping for the cat instead of herself; it was to drive at the root of the problem, which is feeling crummy after a long day at work. I am an avid athlete and a big believer in the Elle Woods view of exercise, but there are times when plopping down with a hot mug of tea and cuddling my cat is really what I need. It’s slightly more active than watching TV but markedly less work than hitting the gym, and it hits those feelings of feeling worthwhile and special.

    17. This is basically… researching. Is there a topic that you’re interested in knowing more about that would not lead to buying anything? It doesn’t have to be academic, it could be something like, famous cults, or totally unrealistic real estate (for me: tiny studios). Getting library books and recipes works too. Alternatively, if you just want to scroll on your phone, there are (free) phone games that might scratch the itch — personally I’m a fan of animal crossing pocket camp — there are paid subscription options but its totally enjoyable as a free player, and there’s accumulation of stuff and decorating your campsite and picking outfits involved.

    19. Good for you for committing to dig out of debt, it will be so worth it. A few ideas to consider:

      – Consider offering to shop for friends – do you have any friends who need a wardrobe refresh or are not good at thrifting? Can you go with them to be a style advisor, or curate looks for them online?
      – Come at your closet with a curatorial mindset. What works best on your body? What pieces are missing? What can you rearrange to make look fresh again?
      – Look for ways to get some endorphins. For me, if I go for a walk or a run, after 45 minutes my entire mood has reset, and whatever I was fixated on has usually abated.
      – If you must shop, leave the credit cards at home and take the cash that is in your budget to spend. No risk of going over budget.
      – Think about a side hustle solely to fund this hobby that you enjoy – something like babysitting or dog walking.
      – For the little kids in my life, “just add water” has always been a miracle trick and I was surprised to see that it works for me too. Can you get luxury bath bubbles and soak with a book? Or shower aromatherapy? Or a drop-in visit to your community pool?
      – I know you said you’re not really into crafting hobbies, but think about whether there’s an activity that can engage your mind and your body together. A friend got super into origami because it was a way to take her mind off a tough divorce. Another friend always has a big puzzle in progress that she does while listening to an audiobook. It doesn’t have to be productive, but a relatively pleasing way to pass the time.

    21. Unsubscribe from all the shopping emails so you’re not tempted. If you do find yourself on a shopping site, give yourself permission to put things in your shopping cart but only to click “buy” on the weekends, not during the week. I think you will find the urge has passed by the time the weekend rolls around.

      Good luck! You can do this!

    22. Can you do shopping for someone else? Collect a set of blazers, for example, send her the links, let her pick? A personal on-line shopper!

    23. Try reverse shopping when you feel the itch. Browse your closet for the item that you want the least and put it into a giveaway box. Do that every time you want to shop. You will get rid of things you neither want nor need, and the process will remind you that you already have (too) much.

    24. If one of your hobbies has been shopping in the past, you probably have things you don’t need (I know I do) so how about poshmarking or mercari-ing some of your excess clothing, shoes, jewelry, unopened skincare and makeup etc. Anything you make from that can go toward your credit card debt, or you can consider it your pocket money for thrifting or whatever.

      Most hobbies require buying a lot of stuff for them, or even if not required, people end up acquiring a lot of hobby related stuff. So that’s probably the last thing you need.

      I realized several years ago that my brain immediately went to either food or shopping when I was stressed. I liked to do those things in person, and I knew where the places were relative to my commute, so I’d rationalize a “quick” stop on the way home to scratch my itch. I knew, once I stopped lying to myself, that I didn’t need the extra food I was consuming, or the extra things I was buying (boy do I love a good deal), so I realized that I needed ways to deal with my stress and get that gratification without eating or buying anything. I’m a work in progress but it’s much better now! You can do it!! Know why you do these things, really think about them and be honest with yourself.

    25. It sounds like your trigger is boredom and that’s why you are shopping, so I think you need to put some thought into that.

      But, for a short term fix: I go on long, leisurely trips to the grocery store. I wonder all the aisles, look at all the cleaning products and holiday items, and then walk out with more or less a normal total. Note: I don’t buy alcohol at the grocery store so that really cuts down on the risk of an expensive purchase.

    26. I try to stay away from anything where I may be tempted. No scrolling insta or things like this blog. If you don’t know something new is out there, you’re less likely to crave it. I also make things harder for myself. I remove saved credit card info on my computer and phone. And I try to keep busy and physically active. Weekends get filled with taking the dog to the forest preserve or organizing drawers or going on really long walks to get that coffee and baked good. I also set a budget, so I’m less likely to binge after a few months.

    27. Someone recently recommended browsing fashion blogs from other countries, so the featured items weren’t available to them. I thought that was a great idea. I also second Pinterest boards.

    28. What about training for something fitness related? I’ve been in a similar position and took up running – I’m doing a 10K with a friend in two months. It’s cheap – I run the neighborhood or local trails and just need leggings and a pair of shoes – and I have fun choosing books or playlists to listen to when I run. When the weather is bad I do at home workouts – sit ups, push ups, squats, etc. It is something I work on a bit every day and, again, a really cheap and rewarding hobby! I’m a big clothes buyer too, and I’ve discovered that secondhand places have a ton of new basically good brand workout clothes for a song, so when I do need a new pair of leggings or want a workout top, I can limit myself to $15 and still find something really cute. It’s also a great hobby to make use of tops I never wear but probably can’t sell – when it’s cold I just throw on anything I can under a hoodie.

  11. Another travel question…
    Where would you go in Asia for a five day side trip from Taiwan with three kids (5, 7, and 12)? We will be visiting family in Taiwan this summer and have time to add a second destination. I’ve been to Japan (Kyoto and Tokyo), and though I’m not opposed to another Japanese destination, would also be interested in other countries. Things we enjoy doing: fun outdoor activities, good food (even a kid friendly food tour or a class), being in nature, someplace to relax, interesting architecture/ history/ culture (though the kids would probably only last about 90 mins in a museum unless it was really hands on.).
    Thanks for suggestions!

    1. South Korea! Great outdoor culture and choice of hiking trails, beaches etc, amazing food, lots of stuff that could interest kids (particularly if they are into K-pop at all), interesting museums, folklore villages etc, architecture ranging from traditional to very modern etc.

      1. Agree! My husband and I agree the Seoul is arguably the best city we’ve ever visited!

    2. If US passports then I’d want to go somewhere visa free: Korea, Japan, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Philippines, Australia etc.

  12. Hi! Does anyone have a recommendation for a birthday present? Maybe a local bakery?

    My bonus son is 26, lives in Richmond VA, works as an accountant. I’ve sent him Milk Bar cakes and cookies in the past and he liked those

    Thank you!

    1. I live in RVA! Shyndigz is a local favorite. I believe they offer delivery via Uber Eats, or you can order online for him to pick up.

      WPA Bakery is also popular and delivers with UberEats.

      Minglewood is a vegan bakery (omnivores like it too). They offer a limited menu for delivery and custom cakes for pickup.

      I’ve heard good things about Whisk, but I’ve not been myself and I don’t know about delivery options.

    2. I’m in Richmond…Sub Rosa is great for a bakery gift card; not sure if they deliver….“

    3. I’d send Milk Bar again and make it an annual thing he can look forward to.

  13. Maybe I’m a huge nerd, but I get that same kind of rush from going to the library. If you still really want to shop though, maybe go to the grocery store for ingredients to cook for dinner? Picking out something like the freshest, most tender asparagus in the store is luxury in my book.

    1. Or take on cooking projects that require you to shop in a specialty market, like an Asian or Indian market or shop for ingredients online. This still requires some financial discipline, though.

  14. Inspired by the question about high-yield savings accounts, I’m exploring setting up a CD ladder. After looking into it though, the longer-term rates are lower than the short-term rates. Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite? Is this because there is an expectation that rates will go down over the next year….so in theory is it still worth doing to lock in the higher rates? My savings account is currently getting 4.75 so I’m trying to decide if it makes sense to lock up a chunk of money in something with a lower rate that is less flexible.

    1. every time I’ve looked into bond and CD ladders this has been the case. they made sense like 20 years ago and may again at some point in the future, but they don’t now. if you find a good longer term rate make sure it isn’t callable – I think the fact that they’re worse than short-term rates means banks think the great interest rates will be ending soon.

    2. I think it’s just a timing issue. I recently finished setting up a ladder b/c the CD rates were more than my HYSA rates for the first time in years. I expect is it more likely that as the rungs mature, it will make more sense to just put those funds back in my HYSA.

      Sometimes when I looked at the CD rates they were mostly mediocre but one random option will be ridiculously high (like everything else was <3% while the 9 month rate was 5.75%). I started just putting one rung's worth of cash into whichever option had the high rate that month (as long as it was more than my HYSA rate). Over the course of this past year it mostly evened out into a decent 12-month ladder.

      1. My first CD just renewed. I bought a 3 month CD because the rates seemed really high in October when I bought it (effective 11/1) and it just rolled over into another 3 month at the same rate. Getting the same rate at renewal wasn’t guaranteed but I guess interest rates are high enough that the bank just offered it again.

        Part of why I opened the CD was to segregate it from other investments. In hindsight, I could have done almost as well at Ally bank and would have had just about the same rate, but I did well anyway.

    3. Ah long term rates being lower than short term is called an inverted yield curve. The same thing is going on with treasuries right now. It usually reflects a pessimistic economic outlook on the part of investors. (a gross oversimplification)

  15. Does anyone have any experience with the Pax Philomena website? they’ve been following me around and I’m intrigued – heavy octogenarian art teacher vibes

    1. I bought a caftan from there maybe two or three years ago. The quality is quite good but I just . . . don’t look good in a caftan, I guess. I wish I had returned it as it was expensive and it’s just sitting somewhere in a bin now. But if you like caftans, they have nice ones.

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