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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This ponte dress from Jason Wu has been on my mind since I first saw it a few weeks ago — it's such a classic, elegant dress, but the neckline was bugging me because the lowness could be styling, or it could be the cut. Either way, I'd wear a camisole the first time I wore the dress (it's always the first wearing of a dress or top that goes the most awry!), or maybe even a full slip beneath. The dress is $1,395 at Nordstrom (not part of the Winter Clearance Sale, alas — see my roundup of workwear in the sale here). Jason Wu Gathered Waist Ponté Knit Sheath Dress Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – 11/5 only – 60% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anonymous
Gorgeous dress. I dislike pointe though, too heavy for my humid and hot city.
Anonymous
Aargh…ponte. Thanks, auto correct.
Anonymous
I think this dress is beautiful. Not paying that for ponte though.
Anonattorney
Eep, $1400 for ponte? That’s CRAZY.
lsw
And 100% synthetic, too. Yikes. Gorgeous, but shut the front door re: that material!
Anonymous
Well, rayon is processed, but it’s organic (plant based) in origin.
Bay Area expense
My husband and I are considering moving to the Bay Area for grad school, but I’m nervous about the cost. I am from CA and am well aware of the insane rents in places like San Francisco and Mountain View, but can anyone comment on whether there are still affordable (ish) rents to be found in the East Bay near Berkeley? For anyone who lives there, have you found the cost of living to be high in other areas of life besides rent? Someone on the Mr. Money Mustache forums said that other things like food are not as expensive in the Bay Area, but I’m not sure that’s true. For anyone who lives there, would you mind sharing your income, rent as percentage of income, and whether you feel like you’re getting by okay? My husband and I are pretty frugal, but do spend more on quality food in particular.
Anonymous
It’s all expensive here. Food, rent, buying a house, etc. go somewhere else for grad school or live on campus.
profmama
Disagree that seasonal organic produce is more expensive here. But that’s probably the ONLY thing that’s less expensive than elsewhere.
Housing is very expensive. But you won’t have much in terms of heating & cooling costs, and you can manage with smaller indoor space because it’s so easy to be outside and there are so many fun interesting places to go. Depending on where you live, you might not need a car.
The south side of campus is more undergrad-y than the north side (wait, wasn’t there a post about this just the other day?!)
I lived in El Cerrito, two towns north of Berkeley, as a graduate student. It was fine. Nice, even. Though not especially hip. The neighborhoods tend toward young families and retired people. El Cerrito is on the BART line, and southern El Cerrito is relatively cheap, convenient, and safe. Rents in Oakland are skyrocketing a brogrammers get priced out of SF proper and move east.
TX Lawyer
I recently moved from the Bay Area after living there for 10 years. East Bay rents are definitely lower than in SF or Silicon Valley, but rents overall have been rising steadily over the last few years. Suggest you look at the listings on craigslist to get a good idea of what you’d need to pay. Food costs, eating out is more expensive than elsewhere and with the abundance of awesome restaurants, you’ll be tempted to blow your budget that way, but with all the fantastic farmers markets, abundance of fresh and cheap produce, and stores like Sprouts, you’ll have lots of options for eating healthily on a low budget.
Anon
I suggest you join the FB group Bay Area Rooms and Apartments to get a good sense of how expensive Oakland and surrounds have become–even the less desirable parts of Oakland.
I am from SoCal, went to college and worked in the Bay Area for a number of years, and chose to go elsewhere for grad school. I could not justify an extra ~15K year in rent.
I don’t think food is cheaper in the Bay Area, with the exception of some produce which is local. When I moved to SF from Denver (many years ago), it floored me that the exact same products which had to be trucked to Denver were nearly always a dollar cheaper in the middle of the country than in the Bay Area–everything. Salad dressing, bread, all of it.
Anonymous
Recent rents in the Berkeley/ Oakland area near Cal have been around $2000/month for a one bedroom, and are steadily climbing. You may be able to get a little less if you folow the Bart line north to el cerrito or richmond. Produce at the local shops is cheap, restaurants not so much. I think you have to look at the whole package of costs of grad school though. Also, if this is where you want to stay and work it could be helpful to start making connections whle in school.
SillyValley
We finally bought last year after almost 20 years of renting, so I’m out of touch with rental rates myself but I know they continue to climb, and there aren’t many ‘cheap spots’ that haven’t been discovered. You should be able to find something quasi-reasonable somewhere in the East Bay, but you may have to live a bit farther out and commute. Maybe the south part of the EB, San Leandro, Hayward, Fremont, that kind of thing? You’d probably need a car but I would guess there are more options than in Berkeley and Oakland these days.
Food is not crazy expensive, but the ‘oh, it’s grown near here’ discount is less than you’d think these days. I feel like decent restaurants are cheaper than a lot of other areas, or maybe it’s just that there are a lot of decent restaurants that aren’t high end.
It’s hard to say whether it’s a good plan for you. It’s expensive here, but plenty of people manage to continue to make it work. If there are cheaper places to go to grad school that you wouldn’t hate and that have comparable programs and aid, that’s worth considering. Anon just above makes a good point, though – if you plan to live here long-term, you might as well come now, make contacts for your future career, and start somewhere as far as housing (a lot of towns have rules about how much landlords can raise rent each year, so even if you’re not somewhere with rent control, once you’ve been in a place for a while you will be paying less than what the new person off the street is paying.)
Anonymous
Housing is the big thing. I moved from the Bay Area to a small town in the Midwest with an extremely low cost of living, and I would say that in the Bay Area food was maybe 10-20% more expensive (organic was the same or cheaper even), gas was twice as much, restaurants were twice as much (excluding the really fancy ones, which we don’t have here) and housing was 10 times as much. So housing is the thing that will really kill you. When we were there we had a combined income of about 280K and I felt like we were more than getting by. After several years of living below our means (in a 1 bed apartment with a rent of $3K) we had saved enough money for a downpayment on a million dollar home, which would have allowed us to buy a town home or nice condo on the peninsula (where we had to be because of work). The problem was I couldn’t fathom staying in Big Law for the 30 years it would take to pay off the mortgage, so it was a non-starter for us. On a short term basis, if you don’t care about buying, it’s much easier to swing on a much smaller income. Just expect that most of your income will go to rent and you will need to be frugal in pretty much every other aspect of your life.
DinnerPlans
What are you making or eating for dinner tonight? I need some inspiration…or a reality check that everyone’s meals are as boring as mine…
Anonymous
Lentils, brown rice and spinach. We’re doing Dr. Fuhrman’s Eat to Live!
Opal
We pretty much eat the same meals week-to-week. Tonight is “taco bowls” — ground turkey with seasoning, salsa, lettuce, avocado, brown rice with a side of chips and salsa. DH will put some cheese and maybe a dollop of sour cream on his.
Mary
This sounds good! Opal, will you share the rest of your go-tos, if you don’t mind!
Opal
Sure! The regular weeknight rotation right now is:
– Skinnytaste Turkey Chili Taco Soup (Google the recipe – it’s super easy and leftovers are great for work)
– Taco Bowls + Baked or Organic Tostito Scoops, sometimes adding a corn tortilla for a real taco
– Crock pot “pulled pork” – shredded pork tenderloin in the crock pot, and then DH has it on a bun soaked with BBQ sauce while I usually have it on a salad or in corn tortillas with just a little BBQ sauce
– Zoodles & turkey meat sauce (DH does pasta, I do zucchini noodles)
– Lite Caesar salad kit + oven baked seasoned chicken (I cook the chicken over the weekend or the day before we use it so it’s cool by meal time)
We like these meals because the meal is customizable to our preferred way to “finish” it. I’m on WW, so I stick to veggies or more WW-friendly carbs, while he might do real pasta, extra chips, or a full cup of brown rice, for example. We also both work full time, me with considerably longer hours. These are all very easy and fast – home by 7, and we’re eating by 7:30.
anon
Frozen Applegate Farms chicken tenders over spinach salad. Boring and quick is the rule in my house.
CherryScary
Stuffed spaghetti squash. The SO is cooking, but pretty sure it’s cream sauce, chicken, and cheese.
anon
If it makes you feel better, last night I ate 3 eggs sunny side up with cherry tomatoes and kalamata olives, and a hunk of cheese. No, I didn’t even bother to make them into an omelet.
JJ
That sounds delicious. And exactly like the meals I make when my husband is out of town.
Anonymous
Yum.
My favorite summer meal is a baguette and cheese ends from my favorite cheese store or whole foods.
X
I made a big batch of chili in my crock pot last week and put it in individual containers:
http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/all-american-chili
Clementine
Chicken breasts pounded flat and sautéed with mushrooms and onions over baby spinach.
I’m also going to be making a Tex-Mex lasagna for the freezer (On maternity leave and cooking 14 million freezer meals…). It’s layered beans, tomatoes, onions, veggies and probably chicken with tortillas between and a bit of cheese on top.
I might also make a batch of soup for the freezer, probably lentil.
Clementine
And honestly- I go with a formula of protein (beans/eggs/chicken primarily) plus veggies plus flavorful addition (soy sauce or stir fry sauce, garlic and oil, curry and ginger, etc) like 75% of the time. I make a lot of stir fries; sausage (usually nitrate free organic chicken sausage as I don’t eat pork), peppers, and onions; or taco salads. I usually don’t bother to make rice or quinoa and just serve over a salad as a rule.
When I have no idea what to make, I make eggs or an egg sandwich. When my husband is around (he travels for work and is gone for 50% of the time) I put a little more effort in and might do pancakes and eggs and fruit salad, but when it’s just me, I go cheap, quick, and easy.
We eat very small portions of meat for a couple of reasons, namely that high quality meat is very pricey, eating meat has a big environmental impact, and there are big health benefits to vegetarian eating. As such, I’ve gotten really creative with beans and it has made my life better.
AIMS
I’m also on leave and will be making zucchini pepper orzo bake with goat cheese from the NYTimes ‘recipes for health’ feature. It’s very easy but a little bit time consuming because you need to let the whole thing bake for 45 min or so. Really delicious though, like a healthful macaroni and cheese. Great as a make ahead or freezer meal, too.
Walnut
Tomato sausage risotto from Smitten Kitchen is on the docket for us tonight.
Anonymous
Egg on toast.
Anon
Either frozen, homemade bean burritos or a bagged salad kit. I’m almost 40 weeks pregnant so I’m just happy I’m not eating take out every night at this point.
Anonymous
I picked up a tray of basil salmon at Costco I’ll bake and have with some asparagus spears. I started back on a keto diet yesterday so my food is pretty prepacked and boring.
Gail the Goldfish
Whatever microwavable dinner I reach first when I open the freezer.
Anonymous
+1!
NYC tech
A guest is coming over for dinner, so we’ll have steak with red wine sauce, sour cream mashed potatoes, roasted brussel sprouts, and roasted cauliflower. Coconut cake for dessert. Not our typical Tuesday dinner.
Kerry
Slow roasted pork picnic. It’ll roast all day at 250, then served with mac and cheese and broccoli. Leftovers will be turned into pulled pork.
NYNY
“Homemade” pizza: Purchased whole wheat pizza dough, kale sauteed in olive oil with garlic & pepper flakes, and gruyere cheese. Should be about 20 minutes to make. Other common weeknight dinners are grain bowls, bagged salad with quick grilled meat, or sheet pan dinners, where meat and veggies are all roasted on sheet pans.
Emmer
Butternut squash curry. Saute carrots and onions in a pan with garlic and curry, then dump in rice cooker with rice, cubed butternut squash, chickpeas, coconut milk and broth. Press start button and you have dinner 45 mins later. Stir in fresh spinach at the end if you want some extra veggies.
Love this
How much extra broth do you add? With the coconut milk, what’s the broth/water to rice ratio you use?
Anon
Either breakfast for dinner or enchiladas and beans.
CountC
I get home late on Tuesdays, so I eat lots of mid and late afternoon snacks and then a protein bar before my riding lesson. Not very exciting!! I usually eat a light dinner on weeknights because I graze all day long, so I am the last place to look for dinner inspiration.
If I were going to make dinner and had time, I would likely make a gigantic southwest style salad. My salad would have black beans, corn, chickpeas, avocado, a little cheese, a sofritos copycat, and be topped with a homemade vinegar-based salad dressing. YUMM.
Anonymous
tonight I’m making roasted salmon, with poblano polenta, roasted beets and zucchini.
last night, I made a big pot of quinoa, added frozen spinach, zucchini, salsa, cilantro and avacado.
CountC
Ohhhh, do you have a recipe for the poblano polenta?
Anonymous
I’m going to wing it by making my regular (alton brown) polenta recipe and then roast the peppers, peal and either create a sauce with my vitamix or chop finely and add at the end.
Anonymous
close to this. http://www.foodforscot.com/2010/06/roasted-corn-and-poblano-polenta-with.html
CountC
Awesome, thanks!
cbackson
Blue Apron! Tonight is beet linguine with goat cheese.
NOLA
Oh, a friend of mine is doing Blue Apron and he had that the other night. It looked great!
Gail the Goldfish
Is Blue Apron worth it? Every year one of my New Year’s resolutions is to cook more and every year, I fail (see above re microwavable dinner). It seems a little pricey, but is this what I need?
Anon
I’ve never tried it and I do think the meals look appetizing, but for those prices, I’d expect an organic meal and I don’t believe they offer those. Since you still have to do all the cooking and cleaning, I ultimately opted to just continue to buy my own products at the store instead of paying their prices. Some of the recipes look really good, though, and if you’re at the point of wanting to throw money at the problem, it could be a good idea.
Senior Attorney
I love Blue Apron. Gentleman Friend and I alternate weeks (his house, my house, repeat) and it’s been great. We get their monthly wine deliveries, too. The meals are fantastic and no waste, no planning, and no grocery shopping for dinner! What’s not to love?
Senior Attorney
And I find the $10 per person per meal to be fine for the quality of what you get.
Kerry
I definitely think it’s worth it if your goal is to cook more and eat out less. I started switching between Blue Apron, Home Chef and my own cooking last year and have definitely cooked more than previous years. Of course it’s more expensive than doing your own grocery shopping/meal prep, but realistically if it’s replacing takeout/eating out, you’re going to save money and eat better.
I love to cook and am pretty good at it, but I loved the convenience of not having to buy many groceries. I’ve also learned new techniques and cooked many foods that I’ve never cooked before, even though I may eat them in restaurants (fennel, fregola sarda, etc). The portions sizes are pretty generous (for me) and I often have leftovers.
cbackson
It works out to $10/person/meal, which is totally acceptable to me. Essentially, I no longer have to grocery shop (I’m down to a quick 20-minute trip every couple of weeks for a handful of items) or meal plan, and I place a high value on having that time back as well, since that’s time I can spend working or doing fun stuff. I’ve been doing it for a year and am a huge fan.
Plus, I’m eating a ton more vegetables.
Bonnie
I love Blue Apron. It gets me to cook more and introduces me to new ingredients. Agree that the portion sizes are generous.
Amanda
I really liked it, but the challenge that I had was the amount of servings for just myself. I think the minimum is 3 meals with 2 servings. My work provides breakfast and lunch every day, and I used to eat out on the weekends, so 6 servings was a lot for me (sometimes more because the servings are generous). But, I’ve been eating in more on the weekends, so maybe I should try it again.
Also, I do like that I don’t have to plan or go grocery shopping as much, but there is more waste with all of the packaging.
Anonymous
I made a gigantic turkey meatloaf (with shredded carrots and zucchini hidden inside!) yesterday, so I’ll be eating a slice meatloaf with a sunny side up egg on top. I forgot about meatloaf as a category of food, but it is SO good when it’s cold!
Diana Barry
Yesterday I made Swedish meatballs and egg noodles, so tonight we will probably have leftovers.
MJ
I am eating “Not Your Mama’s Pot Roast” by Bobby Deen. Recipe is easily google-able. It’s healthy and delish and takes about an hour. Easily done in a slow cooker too. Reheats well, has a ton of veg – onion, carrots, parsnips. Highly recommend.
Anonymous
Knockoff Cava Grill/Mezeh. We do this every grocery shopping day, as I get most ingredients from the salad bar.
Assemble in bowls some combination of: brown rice and quinoa; chicken or falafel; chickpeas; steamed beets; olives; feta; shredded carrots; any other veggies that look good; hummus or baba ghanouj; red pepper dressing; and crushed pita chips.
We do similar bowls for Mexican food, a la Chipotle, and Asian food, but Mediterranean is my fave.
emeralds
This is genius.
CKB
We are having ham & veggie hash tonight. Leftover Christmas ham (that has been in the freezer), potatoes, onions & red peppers. Yum!
Anonymous
Just tacos, using ground chicken. It’s one of my favourite meals because I freeze half the cooked meat to eat another time. I’m single and live alone and I find making dinners for myself a struggle. I would live off of peanut butter toast if I let myself.
DC Anon
Fish tacos! Dredge tilapia filets in flour with salt and Goya adobo spice. Then fry in olive oil. Serve with tortillas, avocado, mango salsa from Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s, and then I’ll usually steam some green beans too.
Anoni
Shakshuka – google it! There are lots of recipes out there, but I usually go with sauteed onions, canned diced tomatoes, and a few eggs, seasoned with cumin, Aleppo pepper, and za’atar. It’s so easy and so satisfying after a long day at work.
In the winter, I usually roast a ton of veggies on Sundays (beets, cauliflower, sweet potato, carrots, butternut squash, brussels sprouts – whatever’s in abundance at the farmers’ market), and then use them up throughout the week. I usually mix them with chickpeas, cannellini beans, or roast chicken (also done on the weekend); brown rice (also made on the weekend in big batches and then frozen–takes 2 minutes to thaw in the microwave); and a homemade dressing. My go-to dressings are miso/lime juice/walnut oil; miso/tahini/olive oil/garlic/ginger; and dijon/honey/olive oil. I also love a quick roasted salmon when I’m tired of beans. I usually have sauteed chard or kale on the side (washed on the weekend… I am so lazy on weeknights).
Carrots
I’m home today so I think it’ll just be kielbasa and sauerkraut in the crockpot to see how my food-obsessed kitten reacts to it.
Anon
Rosemary cream biscuits with turkey sausage gravy and poached eggs. Arugula salad on the side, which only I will eat.
I admire all of your healthy and light meals but I have two ravenous teenagers to feed.
(Most of the eggs will be from my chickens, though, so I hope I get points for that.)
Sydney Bristow
Those biscuits sound awesome. Can you share the recipe?
Anon
The biscuit recipe is the cream biscuit recipe from Joy of Cooking. I don’t like cutting butter into flour (ain’t nobody got time for that!) so I always make the recipe which essentially swaps whipping cream for both the butter and the milk in the biscuits. I just chop the leaves of a sprig or two of fresh rosemary and throw that into the flour at the beginning.
Sydney Bristow
Thanks!
AnnonToo
I made this yesterday, plenty of leftovers for 2-3 more meals
1. Spinach – heat oil in a skillet, put some cumin seeds, ginger and garlic. Saute for 2-3 minutes. Heat 2 packets of frozen spinach (total 1 lb) in microwave for 1 minute, break up in to smaller chunks and throw into the skillet. Add quarter teaspoon turmeric, red chilly powder (based on taste – 1/2 to 1 tsp) and 1 tsp salt. Let the whole thing cook for 15-20 minutes uncovered while I prepare other items. Super healthy and easy to make with minimum prep. I freeze cubes of grated ginger and garlic that lasts me all month as I cook a lot of Indian food. You can also throw in some cubes of potatoes or sweet potatoes with the spinach.
2. Chicken and potato stew in a pressure cooker. Takes out the guess work whether stuff is over or under-cooked ! I use an old style pressure cooker and give two whistles and done.
getting hungry
Chinese leftovers. I’m really, really looking forward to them.
MU JD
It’s Taco Tuesday at our house. My two teenage boys have their own preferences, so we set up a taco bar and everyone can assemble their ingredients to their liking. Had a burgundy spoon roast with new potatoes last night and tomorrow night is sesame chicken with brown rice pilaf. We try to follow a similar pattern each week – beef on Monday, tacos/burritos/nachos/enchiladas on Tuesday, chicken on Wednesday, pasta on Thursday and meatless Friday since we are in Lent, otherwise, Thursday is our meatless night.
emeralds
Roasted, halved cherry tomatoes + goat cheese on pasta.
Calibrachoa
Sweet potato and lentil soup with chili and sundried tomato. Aka “hardest part is peeling the potato” soup since its just tomato paste, bouillon cube, dry lentils and hot sauce with an added tubular ;)
Anonymous
Biryani
Anonymous
Ravioli from Trader Joe’s, seasoned with red pepper flakes, parmesan, pesto, salt, and pepper.
Famouscait
I need an audio book (or something) that I can listen to for about 4 hours while I’m in the dentist’s chair. I’ll be a tiny bit groggy but not under sedation. I’m nervous, so would like something either soothing and/or funny. Ideas?
Author suggestions
Tina Fey? Elizabeth Gilbert?
Meg Murry
Bossypants by Tina Fey? Although that might make me laugh too hard to hold still for the dentist.
Download a series of podcasts? I could probably listen to Pop Culture Happy Hour for 4 straight hours if I hadn’t already heard everything they’ve done recently. Or Wait wait don’t tell me, or old episodes of Car Talk.
Anonymous
do not use bossypants – you will laugh and the dentist won’t be able to work – definitely read it outside the dentist chair though
– pretty much any decent travel book is great for this
Meg Murry
Or something you know you enjoy and have read/heard before? Or the book version of a movie you’ve already seen? Do you have any comfort read books that you turn to when you are sick? Maybe something from YA/childhood?
For instance: Harry Potter, Fried Green Tomatoes, Anne of Green Gables, etc.
Famouscait
Ohhhh Anne of Green Gables. Such a great recommendation – thank you!!!
Meg Murry
Oh good, glad I could help! I love that series, and I read Rilla of Ingleside at least once a year, if not the whole series.
I’d recommend listening to a sample first before your appointment, just in case you hate the narrator – there are multiple narrators on Audible. Nothing worse than an audiobook with a narrator who’s voice makes you cringe, especially if you are trapped in a dentist’s chair.
LawDawg
Yeth! Rilla of Ingleside! I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one to re-read at least on of the Anne or Rilla books annually.
Anonymous
Was coming here to recommend Anne of Green Gables. Several (at least the first three I believe) are free on “Audiobooks” app!
Em
I’m obsessed with Pop Culture Happy Hour and am going back and listening to all their old shows. Also, Judge John Hodgman.
Anonymous
If you like history, look into Sarah Vowell.
Terry
“Assassination Vacation” by Sarah Vowell. (I don’t generally get her sense of humor but really enjoyed this.) It’s episodic so even if you miss part of one story you’ll move on to the next soon enough.
Anonymous
I listened to a couple episodes of my favorite podcast for my last extraction/root canal/crown combo (yeah, good times). At the time I was in to Serial so saved episodes of that. Make sure whatever you take, you already like. Nothing worse than 4 hours of a voice or narrator you actually can’t stand.
Also, +1 Harry Potter.
Jdubs
If you are a Princess Bride fan… I recently listened to Cary Elwes audio book of “As You Wish”, it was very entertaining in his voice with lots of guests popping in and out.
Wildkitten
I did podcasts when I was recovering from eye surgery and really enjoyed them.
Minnie Beebe
I did podcasts when I was recovering from eye surgery and really enjoyed them.
Anonymous
I’m glad you said that!
TX Lawyer
Are there any ‘rettes in Austin who would be interested in a meetup? I’m relatively new to the area and would love to make new friends.
Anonymous
Definitely! Also, if you have not already, please consider joining the Travis County Women Lawyers Association. We have wonderful events and it is a great group.
TX Lawyer
Thank you! I’ve been looking for a local professional group to join, so this is great! My email is austinite733@yahoo.com. If you send me a message, we can start trying to set something up!
Laura
I’m an Austin lawyer and have looked into joining TCWLA. Would love to meet up sometime, professionally or just for fun!
Anonymous
I need some new snack ideas. I would prefer low/no dairy or gluten, but can be flexible for high quality/high nutrient content. any ideas?
Wildkitten
Apples and almond butter. Nick’s Sticks. Larabars. RXBars.
Shopaholic
Almonds? Veggies?
Not exciting or new but these tend to be my go tos
CountC
Roasted chickpeas, black bean hummus and carrots (or any other veggie), fresh berries drizzled with honey, crockpot applesauce and a spoonful of nut butter . . .
Anonymous
Deviled eggs, a couple slice of prosciutto and a snack cheese (costo has these big bags of mini mozz I am currently obsessed with), crudités and mini guacamole/hummus/eggplant dip cups, homemade grain-free granola… those are my top ones right now!
Anonymous
Does anyone else dislike being referred to as “sweet”? To me, it’s an underhanded way of saying “meek” or “mild” (neither of which I consider to be a good thing). I’d even prefer the dreaded “nice.” Or do I just need to lighten up and take a compliment?
Also, tips for coming across as less sweet/more of whatever the opposite is? B*tchy? Seems like neither option is good. I’m in academia in a woman-dominated field.
Anonymous
Ugh sorry this posted as a reply. Will repost below.
Clementine
Pepitas? I mix them with juice sweetened dried cranberries and a couple dark chocolate chips for a lazy trail mix.
Instant oatmeal with a spoonful of peanut butter?
Apple or banana with Peanut Butter
Instant miso soup
Sugar Snap Peas or Baby Carrots or Snow Peas with hummus or white bean dip
Sliced cucumbers with a splash of vinegar and salt
Pistachios that you shell yourself. It takes longer to eat and thus is more satiating for me.
Hard boiled eggs (these can be slightly stinky, so you can’t eat them everywhere)
(Not Dairy/Gluten Free)
Cheese stick/string cheese with an apple. This basically got me through pregnancy.
Cheese/laughing cow cheese and cucumber slices
Dry Cereal (I like Barbara’s Peanut Butter Puffins)
An English muffin with avocado (more of a mini meal, but delicious)
Anonymous
Wasabi peas- I find them so spicy I don’t eat as many as something more tame.
Anonymous
Also, kind of expensive but I liked Graze box for variety, and you can give them these specifications.
(Former) Clueless Summer
Carrots and wholly guacamole cups, nuts, olives + cured meat + veggies, monkey salad (cashews, bananas, almond butter, grated coconut and coconut milk).
DC Anon
Sliced salami from Trader Joe’s.
Almond butter single serving packets, available at Whole Foods or on Amazon.
Slice a bunch of red peppers, celery, and carrots at the beginning of the week and bring them to work in a gallon sized ziploc bag.
Trader Joe’s single serving trail mix packs.
Those are my go-to office snacks.
lawsuited
My usual workday snacks are:
– Boiled eggs
– Natural strong cheddar sticks
– Sliced turkey
– Snack-size hummus tubs and veggies
– Snack-size greek yoghurt tubs
– Apple slices and peanut/cashew/hazelnut butter
Gail the Goldfish
I love this dress. Anyone have suggestions for something similar that is significantly cheaper?
banana
What gets me about Mondays is that the featured item usually looks so simple and elegant you feel there should be a cheaper version, but there is invariably something wonky about the less expensive version.
Idea
Agree with banana here. I’m seeing some ruching at the waists, but no nice twist/knot like this pricey version has.
MJ
Boden carries variations on this dress for sure. Keep an eye out there.
Snick
How about the Lands End short sleeve ponte surplice dress? Similar cut although only comes in black and orange.
Anonymous
+1 for Lands End, they have tons of ponte dresses. $1400 for ponte is insanity.
Susie
Classiques Entier has similar-ish dresses, I like their ponte.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/classiques-entier-ponte-knit-v-neck-sheath-dress/3683250?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=1596
Anoni
MM.LaFleur just released a similar-ish one: https://mmlafleur.com/shop/unsuitable/emma-deep-indigo
Aurora
Last Call has something (somewhat) similar – look for the Catherine Catherine Malandrino
3/4 Sleeve V-Neck Ponte Dress in Indigo.
Anon for this
I’m looking for advice on how to ask a new employer about flexibility to work from home, ideally one week per month. I’ve worked from home between 1 and 5 days a week my entire legal career, so I’m used to managing myself. In addition, I’m in a long distance relationship, so I’d love to be able to work from my SO’s city some of the time. I’m in a market where working from home isn’t that common. How do I sell work flexibility to a future employer?
sweetpotato
Have you already started there or are you negotiating your terms of employment?
OP
Still in the job search stage. I’m trying to plan ahead for future negotiations.
Alana
Even at my job where working at home 1-3 days per week is allowed, new employees have a grace period of 3-24 months, depending on the policy at the time (it recently shortened), the person’s supervisor, and the employee’s productivity.
ANP
I’m all about workplace flexibility (and I’m also someone who hires and manages a team of about 10 people), but this will totally depend on workplace culture. If I had someone interviewing who wanted to WFH one day per week right off the bat, I wouldn’t read it as a good sign (mostly b/c that does not fit with our culture here, and it tells me you’re not committed to learning about us and how we operate). I would rather the person come in, show they can kick @$$ at the office — in essence, prove themselves — and then ask for this accommodation. For a high performer, I would be more than happy to work with them — but I think it sets the wrong tone to ask for it upfront.
Now, YMMV. I work in a relatively small organization (~100 employees) that is highly collaborative, so this advice might not hold true elsewhere. Also, it may not seem apparent from the advice I give, but I am ALL ABOUT working with employees to accommodate life stuff — but in due time.
CHJ
If you’re in the job search stage, I would try to get a sense of how flexible the employer is at the outset, rather than trying to negotiate flexibility/remote work with an employer who doesn’t have that kind of culture. I’m also an attorney, and the first firm I worked for was very rigid about being in the office. Even if I had negotiated a flexible schedule, they wouldn’t have respected it. My current employer is very flexible about where people work and on any given day, half the employees might be working remotely. They have excellent remote technology and a culture of conference calls rather than in-person meetings. Working from home is not a problem at all here.
Headshot help
Hello! I have my first head shots tomorrow. I’m 30 and an in house attorney. A lot of people have suit jackets on in the pictures, but I just feel way more comfortable without the jacket. Is a navy long sleeve blouse with pearls formal enough or should I just suck it up and wear the jacket? It’s te ponte short sleeve shirt in navy from any Taylor tht I am thinking about
Anonymous
Suck it up and wear the jacket. You’re a lawyer, this is a formal occasion, dress the part.
Kerry
Agreed, especially since most other people are wearing jackets. Just put it on for the picture.
Anonymous
+1 – and a jacket looks better in photos anyway because it gives you structure.
Dahlia
I would wear a suit jacket, especially if most people are doing that in their head-shots. I always wear a blazer in mine although I don’t wear one that often day-to-day. I’m about your age and I think it’s important as a young(er) woman to ensure your public appearance is as professional as possible and the blazer lends some gravitas. If you do go sans blazer I would definitely wear a long-sleeved blouse.
Anonymous
Thanks all- needed a little reality check
Anonymous
I’d wear the jacket. A lot of websites with headshots really denote suits = attorneys and nonsuits = support staff!
good luck! I posted about mine last week and the advice here was great. I wear glasses though and had to take them off due to glare (could not get it the shot with the lights, etc). So that threw me for a loop.
bridget
I’ve heard of people who pop the lenses out of their glasses for the shots – no glare, but still the look your clients will see when they meet you.
As for the OP – blazer all the way. Find that thread wherein everyone was talking about how Samantha Powers’ head shot was not really professional (despite the fact that she’s a brilliant, accomplished, and attractive woman).
Anon
I agree wear the jacket. I’m in Biglaw and always look up the in- house counsel that I work for and it probably would be better to intimidate someone like me looking you up.
AIMS
Im currently on maternity leave and have to attend a work related meeting. Normally I’d wear a suit but it feels funny to wear a full suit when everyone will know I am coming from home and just got dressed up for this specific after work occasion. Should I just wear a suit anyway or can I wear a long sleeved work appropriate dress (so still dressed up but less so)?
Wildkitten
Is it an internal or external meeting? Internal – wear the dress. If you’re being trotted out to meet with clients you might want to wear the suit as part of representing the competence of the firm.
lawsuited
+1
AIMS
It’s more of a meeting of an association I am involved with – so not really internal but not like I have to represent my office either. Sort of a committee get together and the others there will be dressed with varying degrees of formality. I tend to go formal to these things but was unsure because sometimes I feel like overdressing when everyone will know I’m coming from home will feel like I am trying too hard and t/f will come across as maybe a bit young/junior, for lack of a better descriptor.
Anonymous
Wear a suit if that’s what everyone else will have on. It’s not weird.
cbackson
Kind of like the photo question above, if this would ordinarily be a suit occasion, wear the suit. If you’re going to be attending, you want to be viewed the same way that you would be if you’re not on leave – which means wearing the same thing you’d otherwise wear.
AIMS
That’s the thing – I think it would be half suits, half dressy business casual normally. If I was working, I would be wearing a suit but since I am coming from home it feels a little like I am playing dress up somehow. Maybe I just need to get over that though.
cbackson
Honestly, I’d err on the side of dressed-up to also avoid any possibility of being taken less seriously because you’re on leave. Which seems like it could be possible (although sucky and unfair).
AIMS
Good point. Thanks.
lucy stone
This seems like the perfect situation for dress+jacket.
AIMS
That’s also a possibility. Thanks.
Anonymous
This for sure. Wear a jacket over the dress if that is an option – you can take off the jacket if you’re overdressed or leave it on if not.
raquiescence
Can you convince me not to hate the Brooks Brothers spring suiting lineup? I hate it so much but saw that you like it. I just about lost my mind at the CROPPED NEOPRENE blazer. How on earth would you style this collection?
MJ
Oh no. I hate it too. And I’ve had a Brooks card for 15 years, and have vivid memories of shopping there (with my dad, for my brother) as a child. I am pro-BB, and love their accessories and their non-iron shirts. But the new collection is badly styled, crazy overpriced, and made of fabrics that are largely impractical for anyone that needs to say, sit in a chair, to work. Definitely not a fan!
Anonattorney
The model is just so awful. It’s not her fault, probably, but whoever styled her hair and the shoot. I just can’t.
Elizabeth
I agree! Almost all of my wardrobe is BB but this collection is sad. I hope the next season is better. I know that BB is Classic and conservative but that’s what some people like! Not everyone wants to look like they came off a fashion show runway. (And believe it or not I work in fashion retail.)
raquiescence
It would bum me out so much if I stopped being able to rely on Brooks Brothers for never-fail suiting that looks as good as high-end mens’ suiting. The good news is that J. Crew’s spring suits are fantastic… but I do hope this season of BB turns out to be the exception rather than the rule going forward.
bridget
“How on earth would you style this collection?”
It looks great on the hangers at the store… no need to change anything. :)
(Brooks Brothers has been my refuge after the quality and formality at AT went down. Now to find *another* classic clothing store….)
Little Red
ARRRGGHHHHH!!!! I was afraid of this when they announced that Zac Posen was going to be creative director. There was a thread two or three weeks ago about the new Brooks Brothers collections. I really hope this isn’t the beginning of the end for their women’s clothing. It’s so hard to find classic women’s clothing that fits my petite frame especially shirts.
Dry Shampoo
From yesterday’s discussion: Batiste now has a brown hair dry shampoo. Much cheaper and waaaaay better than more expensive brown dry shampoo from salon brands (I can’t remember which: Drybar and Bumble I think). Those got so much residue all over everything.
Anonymous
I have the Batiste brown. I don’t like the smell – it’s very vanilla-y, not a scent I typically choose for hair product. And the brown can get on your fingers if you use other products with it. I’m going back to the living proof kind. My hair felt cleaner after that.
Blue Van Meer
Ladies, I am seeking wisdom from the hive.
Recent third year big law lateral (v100 firm, east coast, not NYC or DC). I am almost one month into my new job and am loving the new firm. For those you fellow big law associates who are struggling, I can promise you that I felt that same for two plus years at my old firm and am truly loving the change of pace at my new job.
Anyway I am in the corporate group and have been generally busy since I arrived last month. In fact, our group had been so busy that they hired myself and another third year who started the week after I did. For whatever reason, I am now really slow at work. This is weird for me since part of the reason I left my old firm was because of crazy busy hours. I have spoken to a couple of other associates here who say that overall the group is slower here than, say, litigation, but what would you all do in my position? Knock on doors and ask for work? Reach out to people in my group in other offices? And more immediately, how do you stay focused when you are bored and slow?
Thanks ladies!
Anonymous
Do you have a key group of partners you typically work for (or would if they had work)? If so, first let them know that you have time to handle more work. If they don’t have any, ask one you trust about the politics of offering your time up to others. Something like, “I’d like to seek out some more work. Any suggestions for which partners could use some extra help? Anyone I need to talk to before I devote my time to a case?” Some partners get upset if you just volunteer your time without running it through them first.
OP
Thanks – I have a few partners (3) who I was hired to support primarily but only two have given me any work thus far. I will start with them first and ask them. Thanks again!
Anonymous
Reposted from above.
Does anyone else dislike being referred to as “sweet”? To me, it’s an underhanded way of saying “meek” or “mild” (neither of which I consider to be a good thing). I’d even prefer the dreaded “nice.” Or do I just need to lighten up and take a compliment?
Also, tips for coming across as less sweet/more of whatever the opposite is? B*tchy? Seems like neither option is good. I’m in academia in a woman-dominated field.
Wildkitten
Agreed. Nobody has ever called me sweet.
Mindy
I think it depends on context. Like, when my friend goes on vacation and brings me back cookies – “You’re so sweet!”
I think it’s a way I sometimes describe thoughtfulness/kindness in others.
Emmer
In a professional context I would tend to agree that it might not be the best descriptor for your career, but I’m not sure I’d take it negatively. I just don’t think it’s the thing you want to be memorable about you vs. your intellect or diligence.
I absolutely use it in a non-professional setting though, and mean it as a compliment!
Jules
It’s nice if my friends call me sweet, but I’ve never been called that in a professional context. Well, once, and I sought it out on purpose. I was in the middle of a super-contentious 8-day arbitration hearing, spread over several months, with an attorney from hell, the kind who would practically throw exhibits at me and scream her objections. She also was super-demanding and non-accommodating to anyone else but always wanted to schedule things around her own life, including one day when she said she had to end early because it was her birthday and she had dinner plans. So I brought in donuts to the hearing room in honor of her birthday and, even though I knew she hated. my. guts. she had to tell me, “oh, you’re so sweet.”
lawsuited
No one has ever called me “sweet” or “nice” in a work context.
My mom, and my grandmother and some of my girlfriends have called a gift or gesture of mine “sweet”, and I take that as a compliment.
Anonymous
I hate being called sweet. It’s up there with quiet as a statement that isn’t really a compliment and implies you’re seen as a wallflower. I notice that I generally say someone is sweet when I literally cannot think of another description of their personality but they are generally pleasant.
Anonymous
I put “you’re so sweet” in the same category as “bless your heart.”
Delta Dawn
I am an outlier on this, it seems, but I think it’s just a compliment. I do completely understand why you would not like it– it can seem condescending. It probably depends on context. You mentioned you are in academia with many female colleagues. Are they they ones calling you sweet? Some women say this to indicate that they like a person: “I work with Anonymous, and she is really sweet.” Unfortunately, some can say it when they don’t have anything nice to say: “Oh, Anonymous? She’s…. sweet, I guess.” It sounds like they are saying it to your face, which I would hope indicates they have good intentions.
I am neither meek nor mild, at all, but I have been called sweet sometimes, and I think/hope it’s because I try to be nice to people. For context, though, I am in the south where I think people say things like this more than in other places.
Tetra
I’m a 3rd year associate and I’ve been invited to a professional hockey game tonight with two partners and two of our clients (all men). I’ve never been to one of these events before — anything I should know? Thanks!
Wildkitten
Nope! Just have fun!
Anonymous
Don’t bring a huge purse if you can avoid it. I commute by foot, so mine is sizable. When I went to a game in a similar situation, there wasn’t really room for it.
anon
+1
If there’s a bag check/ purses over certain sizes are not allowed, that could be a huge pain. I’d check the stadium’s website/ NHL website for regulations. The NFL, for example, has regulations that prohibit all but the smallest bags, or make you take in clear bags.
Wendy
I go to NHL games with my hubby here in Vancouver. The league now scans everyone entering the arena with a wand and checks large bags (I had mine checked). So a small bag or none would be better. Also wear pants not a skirt or dress as the seats are very close together.
Gail the Goldfish
Don’t bring huge purse. Do bring jacket you are comfortable sitting in (or lots of layers) as it’s usually pretty cold in the arena (at least the games I’ve been to) and I end up just leaving my coat on.
Go flyers!
Big hockey fan here-DH and I have season tickets to the Philadelphia Flyers. Are you going to be in seats or a box of some sort?
Games themselves are generally pretty tame. We often sit near a family with young children. Pretty similar to a baseball game in atmosphere but much shorter and more fun, in my opinion.
Three periods of 20 minutes each. Intermission between each period for 18 minutes. Games move quickly but are often low scoring. Arena can be chilly but not too cold. I usually wear a jersey or sweatshirt (extrapolate equivalent sweater or work clothes) but do not wear a jacket in my seat or anything.
Have fun!
Anonymous
The “tameness” of the games SO much depends on the teams though. I live in DC (and actually am going to the Capitals game tonight!), and I would never take my kids to the cheap seats of a Rangers or Flyers game (no offense) because there can be some rowdy fans at rivalry games. I assume with partners and clients you will have good seats or a box, though, and this is much less of an issue there.
But yes, hockey games are fun, enjoy! Concessions usually stop selling drinks after the 2nd intermission; plan accordingly. If you’re interested in learning about the game, ask questions — most hockey fans are happy to educate curious newbies. Finally, pay attention to the ushers, they usually enforce the “puck in play” rule pretty strictly, and you’ll have to wait for a break in the action to get back to your seat.
If you’re sitting close, watch the action. Just like in baseball, things can go flying into the crowd, and you definitely don’t want to be turned the wrong way to notice a hockey puck coming toward you.
Mpls
Yes, pay attention to where the puck is at all times, in case it comes flying up over the glass. I was also told to attempt deflecting with your forearm instead of hand – only two bones to break in the arm vs. multiples in the hand. :)
And if you are sitting on/near the glass you’ll feel better about watching the action so you aren’t surprised when they check the boards right in front of you.
Of course all this is based on college hockey experiences (which tend to be pretty rowdy), so not sure how it will translate to the pros.
Anonymous
Check the teams’ colors so you don’t accidentally wear the away team’s colors!
Anonymous
For anybody who commented on my saga regarding my gentleman friend I was a little apprehensive about going to a wedding with – nothing happened, but after the influence of enough alcohol I did bring it up with him. The conversation was confusing at best but my takeaway was he’s not looking for anything else. Things are a little weird right now but we both seemed pretty invested in remaining friends, so I’m hoping it will shake out and blow over. I’m happier to know where we stand.
Ellen
Yay! Pricey Tuesday! I love Pricey Tuesday and this Sheathe dress. One of these days I am goieng to get this one even if Frank does try to pull a cheep thrill. I like the V neck, so FOOEY on Frank.
As for the OP, it is good that you still remain freind’s. Once you go over the line, he will FOREVER be thinkeing of you WITHOUT your clotheing on. When I was in college, I went with a male freind to a wedding, and so many people automaticaly thought we were haveing sex just b/c we went together. We told them we were just freind’s and they were disapointed. I think peeople like to think that other peeople are haveing sex if they go to a wedding, and beleive me, I have been to wedding parties where there was sex between the bridesmaids and the groom’s men RIGHT at the reception in the men’s room! Can you imagine? DOUBEL FOOEY b/c that meant they had to be standing up and with all of that clotheing on? TRIPEL FOOEY!
emeralds
Way to adult! Sorry it didn’t work out the way that you were hoping, but major kudos for having the conversation. At least now you know.
Career Interest
How would you define your career interests?
Wildkitten
Like – advancement, increased salary, no commute? Or like – mergers and acquisitions involving tax inversions?
cbackson
World domination.
APC
+1
CountC
Make nice with the people who deserve it, do a great job, and don’t lose my job.
Edna Mazur
Kicking ass and taking names.
Review
Quick poll:
I am currently working on writing my annual self-appraisal for work (we have a strange fiscal year-end). This gets taken into account when my managers write their own reviews, and set my comp. I work in finance and my bonus is about 70% of my annual pay.
My normal self-appraisal is generally 80% about things I’ve done well over the past year (investment ideas and business development), 10% about things that haven’t gone well (investment ideas), and 10% goals for the coming year, which basically boils down to “continue doing what I’m doing – generating strong returns for our clients while minimizing risk.”
I am pregnant and due with my first in a few months. I will be taking a 3-month leave (everyone is aware). Do I include anything about this in my goals (e.g., by mentioning that I plan to ensure as seamless a transition as possible), or just be completely silent on the impending leave? Leaning toward the latter, but curious what others would do or expect from a subordinate.
Maddie Ross
I personally would not address it. If you have an interview portion, maybe bring it up there in a positive way, but I would personally not write it down for posterity or for it to be considered year after year.
Meg Murry
I would either not address it in writing, or only address it in a general sense of having a goal of procedures documented or making sure all files are “transition ready”. Or if you have spent a lot of time cross-training someone, that is worth mentioning, especially if the person you are cross-training/mentoring seems to be doing well.
However, I agree that it does make sense to talk about it during the open discussion part, if you have such a time – what needs to be done to make sure that there is a smooth handover to whoever is taking over from you, and then a smooth transition back once you return.
Putting it down as a written goal also seems to be setting yourself up for failure. Since you are going out on leave in a few months, then will be back 3 months later, by this time next year you don’t want them to be thinking about that when they read over last year’s review and/or goals – you want them to be thinking about how well you’ve done in the 6 months since you’ve been back.
Boston Legal Eagle
I also wrote my year-end review recently, with about the same percentage splits as you (what I achieved, what I hope to work on, challenges, etc.) and I did not reference my upcoming leave. My boss is aware, obviously, but I don’t see this related to my actual work tasks/achievements. This is more of a conversation to have with your boss re: transition plan, I’d leave it off the formal review.
Review
Thanks Maddie and Boston! Just wanted a reality check that it wouldn’t come across as extremely odd not to mention it.
Lobbyist
I had Lasik at 30. Now 46. Highly recommend. No side effects or problems. Will need glasses (bifocals) again soon but it bought me 15 plus years of glasses free life. SO much better for sports.
Lasik?
Anyone have any thoughts on Lasik eye surgery? After wearing glasses for nearly 30 years, I’m strongly considering it and meeting with a doctor this week. I’m 36, so I feel like it’s my last gasp to get a couple good years from it before needing readers anyway. Has anyone had any really good experiences? Bad ones? Questions I should I ask or things I should be concerned about? TIA!
Wildkitten
I did it. I love it. So easy. And when you need readers you can just buy them at Walgreens instead of dealing with bifocals or contacts plus glasses. It was pricey, but you’re older than me so the cost might be less of your income. Use your FSA. I went to a surgeon recommended on thi s s i t e and it was a positive experience, even with the cost. And you should never pay sticker – there’s always discounts.
mascot
Following- considering the same after decades of wearing contacts.
ace
Yes, and it was life-changing — I went from contacts in the -8.0 and -6.5 range, so for the first time I could wake up and see the alarm clock! The advice I’ve gotten is to go to a place that does a lot of lasik procedures — in this case you actually WANT an assembly line.
Not to be a Debbie Downer, but I got my Lasik done at age ~27, before kids, and my eyes got worse with both pregnancies in my 30s and never improved (which I understand is unusual). At some point, I will go back to get my eyes adjusted again so I have 20/20 vision, but for now I wear contacts again (at a much more reasonable Rx) or glasses most of the time. I’m actually not 100% sure I would have waited knowing the potential of prescription changes, as it has been so nice having largely improved vision for the last nearly 10 years since I had the procedure.
Susie
Same, I got it done in my early 20s and several years later my vision started deteriorating again. Pretty much everyone else I’ve ever talked to had better results and was happy they did it, but I regret wasting the money. :/
Mpls
I had LASIK 13 years ago (was 22 at the time, am 35 now) and I’ve had good luck it. Had a thorough consultation beforehand (fully dilated the eyes, tested cornea depth) and my brother had it done at the same time. Was pretty near-sighted and haven’t need anything until recently when I decided to get readers to help with eyestrain from extended reading/screen time.
My last visit to the optometrist actually has one of my eyes settling at slightly far-sighted – which isn’t uncommon, though I think she also mentioned that it may be more likely to need reading glasses for stiffening muscles (why most old people need them :) ) sooner than those who have not had the surgery (but didn’t need corrective lens before). Like, I don’t *need* reading glasses now, though it’s nice to have them, but will probably need them sooner than a friend who hasn’t had surgery at all.
I would suggest talking to your eye doctor about what they are seeing in post-op patients now that there are people with a decade or more time post-surgery.
Amelia Earhart
Keep in mind that not everyone is a candidate for laser eye correction. I went for a consultation and discovered my corneas are too thin for lasik and very questionably thick enough for PKK. I wasn’t even aware that was a thing.
BB
Agree on this. Due to some eye problems, I am probably not a great candidate (may still test the waters later). My friend had to get LASEK (with an e), which was something like 2 months of recovery – worth it for her, but not the same experience at all.
MJ
I had PRK end of 2012/early 2013 (you do one eye at a time).
PRK has a long and painful recovery time, but I am glad I did it. Do not expect to work full time (you physically cannot) in the week following each surgery. My vision is excellent three years later. For a short time, I needed readers as my eyes were recorrecting, but I don’t need them now.
There was a long and informative thread on LASIK and PRK here:
https://corporette.com/2013/11/20/suit-week-gucci/#comments
Anon
I second the assembly line aspect. I got mine done a decade ago in the military, and the military clinic was doing more procedures at the time than anywhere else in the country. (This was the height of the war and contacts and glasses do not do well in desert environments.) Surgery took only a few seconds per eye and they did a dozen of us in one batch appointment. When I get my eyes examined these days, doctors are always so impressed with [whatever surgery markers they see that I’m unaware of]. You always want an experienced doctor, but especially with this type of surgery.
A fair warning: when clinics say “free touch-ups for life,” there’s a reason for that. My vision “slipped” within 3 years, and I now wear a very mild -.50 prescription. That correction is so small that I don’t technically need it, it’s just my preference. But my friend who had surgery done the week after me had a more dramatic “slip” and wears glasses full time now.
Anon 4 This
DH had it twice (yes, twice). I think the thought of the surgery gives him the chills still, but he wouldn’t take it back. He had thick glasses his whole life, and had the first surgery 5 years ago. He woke up 20/20, but it devolved, got really bad halos and couldn’t drive at night – Christmas lights gave him killer headaches, problems like that. 18 mos later they did it a second time (at no cost to him, thank god), and the halos are much better. He can get glasses to eliminate the halos at night for driving, but he says it’s not so bad that he wants to get glasses yet.
Also, Ameila Earhart makes a great point. He went to a Lasik machine – very big, very popular in my major city. The initial appointment/screening was 20 mins and was to determine if he was even a candidate. Once he was deemed qualified, we had more personal, one-on-one, Q&A time (including talking about payment options) before committing to the surgery.
Carrots
Following for interest – does anyone know if having astigmatisms affect getting the surgery done?
Wildkitten
I have astigmatism and it wasn’t a problem.
Mpls
+1
Anonymous
A close friend is an optometrist and wears glasses, not even contacts. She told me that in general many optometrists/opthas are against Lasik because it’s a purely elective surgery on what is arguably your most important sense. And unfortunately they see patients whose Lasik has gone awry and it’s way way worse than if they didn’t have the surgery to begin with.
Why take a risk that there is even a small percentage that something could go wrong? I say this as someone who is a -12. Obviously it would be amazing to wake up in the morning and see everything, but I would never risk surgery when I can have 20/2 vision with contacts.
Wildkitten
Life is all about deciding which risks to take. There is no “take no risks” path from birth to death.
MJ
I would echo this, except that I did PRK, and you do one eye at a time, and…it’s amazing to see the clock in the middle of the night, to be able to see my legs when I shower, and not to even think about how pained my eyes will be at night/in the office/on an airplane due to contacts. It is worth it.
Bad results come from bad doctors. Pay up to go to the best and you lessen your chances of a bad outcome considerably.
Gail the Goldfish
This is why I’ve always hesitated. Contacts are an annoyance, but if something goes wrong, it’s worse.
But really I’m just holding out hope they perfect that bionic lens thing one day and I can be a cyborg.
Anonymous
The skeptical counter to this is that optometrists don’t like Lasik because it cuts into their patient base. I haven’t been back to mine since my one-year post-op checkup, and that was almost 10 years ago.
shamlet96
I did it about 8 years ago (at age 30) and have been very happy with the results. My night vision is less than perfect, but it was with contacts and glasses anyway (i had moderate astigmatism). i may even go back for a touch up in a few years. All in all, could not be happier with my decision.
Doodles
I had it done about a month ago. I’m in my mid-20s and had around -6.0 in each eye with severe astigmatism. I went through the testing (including dilation) with my regular optometrist before going to a Lasik center. This way I had verification that I qualified. The recovery was quick. I had Lasik on a Friday morning and was back at work by Monday morning. My eyes are still a bit red toward the end of the day and I have some minor halos at night. The halos were worse the first week but I drove home at night all week and did not feel unsafe/uncomfortable doing that. I tested 20/15 and 20/20 a week after the procedure (it was around 20/25 the day after) but was warned that vision takes a while to stabilize. There were a few days in the first week or so where I felt like an eye may have been slipping or the vision wasn’t as clear in one eye. But it would be fine the next day.
As other suggested, I went to a doctor/clinic that does dozens per day where I felt like a number. I didn’t even meet the surgeon until 10 minutes before the surgery. All my questions were answered by a tech and an optometrist at the pre-op. I opted for the lifetime warranty on enhancements because I fear that vision could slip with future pregnancies.
Overall, no regrets yet. It’s so freeing to not have to worry about contacts!
Another anonymous judge
I had Lasik this year at age 50, after becoming unable to tolerate my -6.5 contact lenses. My only regret is that I did not do it earlier. I wear readers now but don’t mind them. I did go to an established clinic and paid top dollar, which included serious investigation before I was cleared for surgery. My surgeon was a Lasik patient and very conservative in his approach. I had basically zero recovery time – woke up the next morning with 20/20 vision which I still maintain – zero halos, floaters, anything. It is like science fiction. I was very diligent following my after-care plan.
My husband had PRK two months ago (was not a candidate for Lasik due to thin corneas) and was less than diligent in following his plan and went back to work way too early, but has still recovered beautifully.
If you go to a reputable surgeon I don’t think you would ever regret it.
Wildkitten
I have to call to follow up on a job interview. What should I say? I haven’t heard back from them but they told me to call if I have any questions. I need a script.
Anonymous
What questions do you have? If there is nothing specific, then don’t call. This is a classic ‘don’t call us, will call you’, so as much as it sucks, you probably should wait it out.
Wildkitten
Ok. Thank you. I get way too inside my own head on stuff like that.
Anonymous
Assuming you’re calling one of your interviewers, a couple rough templates that you can personalize (since these are written in my voice not yours)…
If voicemail: Hi, this is Wildkitten, thank you for speaking with me [last thursday] in regard to position A. I just had a couple of follow-up questions – please give me a call back when it’s convenient for you, (phone number) thanks so much, bye
If person: Hi, this is Wildkitten, thanks for speaking with me [last thursday] in regard to position A. I just had a couple follow-up questions – is this a convenient time to talk?
Wildkitten
I applied for the job, interviewed with a half-dozen people including the head of the department, was asked for my references and didn’t hear back (yet). Then I saw a posting for the exact job – could be another opening or could be them re-posting the job. It’s so hard to just assume I didn’t get it and carry on when I really wish they would tell me, especially after that many interview etc.
Anonymous
It could mean something, it could mean nothing. But, calling and having pointless conversations while they might still be making up their mind will only reflect badly on you and hurt your chances. I usually don’t respond to candidates between interview and final decision, mostly because I can’t tell them anything, and if I did, there is a risk of them misinterpreting what I say.
Wildkitten
Thanks.
Wendy
My approach is that after an interview, keep sending out your resume for jobs that appeal to you and forget the one you just talked to. If they don’t contact you, you still may have some irons in the fire and maybe get yourself a better position.
Anonymous
No advice needed, just a bit of a vent.
My husband and I live in a very HCoL area. We’ve paid off our student loans but it will be long, long time before we have enough for a down payment. We love this area otherwise, our commutes are not terrible, all of our friends are here, everyone we socialize with are in the same stage of life as us (newlyweds who have just had a kid or are TTC) and we love city life.
Both of our families live upstate in smaller towns. A family member of mine just bought a gorgeous house on a nice property for $175,000 total. Her same house would be out of reach for us if it was in thr city. She’s also 8 years younger than my husband and I. I’m happy for her but at the same time I’m a teensy bit jealous that she was able to afford a house for such a low price because she lives in a small town that’s very LOcL.
Like I said we have no desire to live in a small town or to leave the city. We know the sacrifice we are making by choosing to live here. Just needed to get that off my chest.
Anonymous
*that should be LCoL, not LOcL.
Anonymous
If it makes you feel better, we just moved from a HCOL area to a LCOL area because we were so sick of not being able to buy and our jobs were so demanding we felt like we never had time to take advantage of all the perks of being in a big city. We bought a beautiful 5 bedroom home for $300K in a fantastic neighborhood that would have cost several million dollars in our old city. But leaving the HCOL city has made me realize how great our lives there were. Not having nice restaurants and cultural stuff around anymore has made us realize how much we actually did take advantage of them, and our neighbors, while nice, are all way older, because $300K is a huge amount of money for this area and no 20- or 30-somethings can afford to buy this kind of house here. I think the grass is always greener…
Solo
Boo freaking hoo.
Erin
Yeah, I hear you. At least you have a husband and therefore a second income.
Signed,
A forever-alone 35 year old in a HCOL area with up to 400K to put down on a property, who has been outbid by married couples paying all cash 4 times so far this year (and it is only February)
Anonymous
I was a year older than you are now when I met my husband. I also lived in a high cost of living area and thought I would be destined to buy alone and live alone. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship when I met him. It was totally random.