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Workwear sales of note for 6.07.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off purchase
- Boden – 20% off new styles
- Eloquii – Up to 50% off everything
- Express – Extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off: 100s of new styles added
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Loft – 40% off dresses; 30% off full-price styles; extra 40% off sale styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Extra 25% off sale styles
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – Everything is buy 1 get 1 50% off
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
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- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
Apple
On the topic of dating…what’s your usual timeline for big relationship steps (gardening, meeting the friends, etc)? I’ve always dated people I already knew, so am struggling a bit with what a normal timeline is
Anon
I don’t think there is one! I had ideas about it in my head going into my current relationship, and they all got blown away because of how it unfolded. Some big life events had him meeting my parents REALLY early (before my friends) and that just kickstarted getting serious. We progressed from meeting, to I love you in three months and had conversations about monogamy, marriage, kids, etc. in the first month (hypotheticals, not OUR marriage and kids). If I was watching from the outside, I would say we’re crazy. Based on past experience with men, I would expect him to go running when these things came up. But its working.
Anon
This is just my personal take, and it’s not universal. Gardening happens very early on because it is something I enjoy and compatibility is important to me – if I don’t want to garden with someone then I don’t want to date them. The DTR talk has ranged wildly – from first date (yup!) to dumping a guy after he still didn’t want to DTR after 6 months. Ideally for me I would think it would be 3-5 dates (about a month or so). I don’t have a clear group of friends and various friends have met various people I’ve dated when it came up organically – we happened to be going to the same show or event, that kind of thing. The only time I’ve specifically arranged a meet the friends kind of thing was one dinner where I wasn’t sure about the guy and wanted my friend’s take (he realized that’s what it was).
In my experience, a lot of people on this site say that when they met the right person, things moved very fast and easily. I haven’t had that happen yet, but I imagine it would be nice.
Anon
For me it always varied a lot. My now-husband and I were seriously planning a future together from our second date, gardened/became exclusive within a couple weeks of that (probably technically 5-7 dates in though, because we were seeing each other very frequently from the second date). We met through mutual friends, so meeting the friends wasn’t a big milestone, but we met some of each other’s non-mutual friends a couple weeks in as well. My parents were in town maybe 6 weeks into our relationship and he met them then, I met his maybe 2 months later when we flew together to visit them. We didn’t say “I love you” until we had been dating for 8 months though! It was a source of much stress and drama (for me, haha). I may have even posted about it here. We were both stubbornly refusing to say it first, even though we were mutually committed and discussing engagement/marriage/babies.
Anonymous
The timeline with my husband was similar to this, though we met online, and I think we said I love you around 6 weeks. We were engaged at 11 months and married at 18 months. Ditto the pp that it was fast and easy.
NOLA
I’m just choosing to go with my gut on this. I went on a few dates with a guy recently and he was a very good kisser and I think it would have been easy for us to progress to the bedroom. However, I didn’t really feel like I knew him well enough to invite him to my house, so I didn’t feel comfortable with gardening. If I have doubts, I’m going to choose to wait. As for the DTR, no idea. Haven’t been there in a really long time.
Ellen
I want to have the DTR first, b/c I do not want to garden with someone who does not want to marry me. At this stage of my life, I do not want to waste time with loosers who just want to stain my bedsheets, burp and then walk away, like my Ex. No, now I want to know that the guy who is in my bed is interested in me for me, not my body parts. If he wants a lube job, let him go to some gas station, Grandma Trudy says. And I agree. I do not want him stinking up my apartment, just to have s-x and leave. FOOEY on that! Once I have reason to believe he is sincere, then and only then will I open my body up for him. If not, there will be another man who better fits the bill, I hope! YAY!!!
Anonymous
Please someone tell me what DTR is?
Anon
Define the relationship, used as a euphemism for being exclusive.
Hazel
Anon @ 4:11, DTR is the “Define the Relationship” talk
Ellen
I did not know what this meant either, so I looked it up on the Internet. The Urban Dictionary says it means Define The Relationship.
When two people discuss their mutual understanding of a romantic relationship (casual dating, serious boyfriend, etc).
Have you DTR’ed yet?
I dunno what we are. I guess we gotta do a little DTR’ing tonight.
by Courtney Hodges March 09, 2003
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=DTR
I think any conversation about DTR must come BEFORE gardening, because if you are already gardening, you have already DTR’ed as a gardening relationship.
no
Linen sheets, yay or nay?
Go for it
Yay for sure and silk pillowcases.
Senior Attorney
We have a linen duvet cover and shams and we love them. I think linen sheets would be fab.
BB
Nay for me. If you’re on the fence, I highly suggest you order a pillowcase first and see if you like it before committing to the whole bed. I got a Rough Linen pillowcase to try it out (so very high quality stuff) and discovered I don’t like sleeping on linen. This was confirmed when I later stayed at a hotel that had linen sheets. Cotton percale for me!
Anonymous
Yesss! Love my Eileen Fisher ones, also just got some cheap ones at Target for the guest bedroom.
Anonymous
We like them but they really don’t last that long considering the cost
Anonymous
I think of linen sheets as the stuff of heirlooms. Is this a case where “they don’t make them like the used to”?
Anonymous
Cute. Stuart Weitzman Mary Ann has a similar vibe, if you don’t have Prada shaped feet.
anonanon
Does anyone have a lower priced dupe for these? They are GORGEOUS but above my price range.
Irish Midori
I bought something very similar from Target. $30 or so.
CountC
+1 I have Target ones and wear them a lot.
anon
Do they hold up OK? I tried those on recently and liked them, but I didn’t buy them because I figured the fabric would get trashed.
CountC
I’ve had them for quite some time and am hard on them (wear in the rain, throw in shoe bin, etc.) and they have held up really well.
NOLA
I have a similar Franco Sarto pair, but with a higher heel, called Vanity. They may be sold out, but Palma is similar, but with a pointier toe. Would suggest looking at the brand in particular.
TO Junior
My fiance and I have just put in an offer to buy our first home, and it looks like it’s going to be accepted. We’re equal parts nervous and thrilled. It’s within traditional metrics of affordability so we know that the math adds up for us financially, but any pieces of advice for a nervous first-time home buyer? TIA!
tesyaa
Use the best inspector you possibly can. BUT, if you love the house and the inspection turns up items, don’t haggle on price unless they’re expensive or structural items. The inspection can also be used as a guide for making future updates and repairs.
Ash
I’ll add to this, find the inspector independently through Yelp or some other service that has good customer reviews, do NOT use one recommended by your realtor. They have an inherent interest in getting the deal done so they get their commission and may use inspectors that are less stringent.
CountC
That’s not always true. My buying agent recommended a fantastic inspector. I ended up terminating the contract as a result of the inspection, so . . .
Good agents recommend good inspectors. Bad agents recommend bad inspectors.
Pale Girl Snorkeling
Exactly. My great realtor got me in with the best inspector in town who was officially completed booked all month. The results helped me negotiate a better deal and have a better idea of what I was getting into (I knew it needed some repairs)
The original Scarlett
+1 and if you don’t trust your agent, you need a new agent
Nesprin
I used the inspectors my realtor reccomended and wasn’t super happy with them…
Anonymous
+1 to this. Our inspector pointed out things to haggle about and things we should just put on our “plan to repair” list and talked about when we should plan to make those repairs (as in – ASAP or budget for sometime in the next 5-10 years).
Abby
Congrats! Was it a flipped house? Ours was, and we had so many problems that we wish we knew to look for during the inspection. A quality and reputable inspection company is pretty important, also I would make sure you physically go to check the house right before closing to make sure everything is as you agreed – none of the changes they promised to make were done and we had to call them out on it. We also did an inspection of the pipes, but our house is old and that was very necessary. But enjoy, this is exciting and all houses are different!
TO Junior
Thank you! It’s only a few years old and it was done to the nines when it was first built, so thankfully its in good condition. My FFIL also worked in the trades for years and has been invaluable at pointing out problem spots in other houses we’ve looked at and just didn’t notice despite our best efforts, so I know what you mean re a good inspection. Good idea on the visit to make sure they’ve made the promised changes! We have a long closing, so we’ll definitely want to make sure we do that.
Abby
Oh that’s awesome! After closing, I’d clean the house before moving anything in. We washed the cabinets, put down liner (my mom insisted), vacuumed everything, added doorstops, etc. I also heard of people getting their ducts cleaned, but we didn’t. I agree with a poster below, buy furniture slowly, but measure all of your rooms first and save that in your phone. I felt a lot of pressure to buy a lot all at once to finish it, but my mom (wisely) told me I have many many years of shopping ahead of me. It’s a fun work in progress
SC
Many cleaning services have a “move-in/move-out” cleaning. We don’t have weekly housekeeping, but it was money well spent to have the house professionally cleaned before we moved in.
We also paid to have the locks changed, which gave me peace of mind. The previous owner had moved 6 months before, and I had no idea who had keys.
Anon
Probably not the subject you want to think about (and I hope you never have to!), but it’s worth putting some sort of contract in place on what will happen if you split up before getting married. If you’re married, there are some at least decent processes in place for how to divide a marital home, but if you’re not, my experience (I’ve litigated this case) is that there really isn’t, and there’s a lot of room for one person to really hurt the other. I would recommend that you not take on a mortgage unless it’s one that, should things go south, you could float on your own for a while.
TO Junior
We’re both lawyers so that’s definitely crossed our minds. Based on our circumstances and the law in our jurisdiction we’ve decided to do without for now. But we definitely made sure we could float the mortgage (albeit painfully) on one salary just in case!
Ash
Yeah, I bought a house with my fiancee, both lawyers, and we also didn’t paper it up beforehand. My thinking was, if we break up, life is going to be super awful regardless, so on the off chance it happens, adding the sale of the house to the misery wouldn’t make much marginal difference. But we were only like 3 months out from the wedding when we closed.
Senior Attorney
Congratulations! It’s normal to be a little nervous and scared — if you didn’t feel that way you wouldn’t be human!
My best advice is to make sure you have a good amount of cash on hand after closing, if possible. There will be things you want to do and need to buy and it all adds up fast.
Good luck and enjoy!
Anon2
Focus on moving into the house first. You can by new furniture and decorations at a later date.
Anonymous
Assess the floors first – easier to buff and shine them when there’s no furniture!
Anonymous
Definitely this. I really wish I’d done this!
ATL rette
I also repainted my place before moving in—felt so much better to move into a place that was already how I imagined and also didn’t have to worry about moving furniture or tarps or anything like that. Bonus: the painters caught a leak in my ceiling so I could get that fixed while not living there yet!
Anonymous
Yes so much easier to deal with the floors before your furniture is moved in. Also see if the ceilings need any drywall repair.
TO Junior
For anyone who is still reading this at this late hour, we got the house! Thank you all for your advice – it’s very much appreciated.
Lobby-war
Hooray! Wishing you the best.
Senior Attorney
Yay! Enjoy!
Anon
Not sure if you will see next day, but if you are planning to do any painting or recarpeting, do all the painting before the carpet is ripped up so you don’t have to be worried about dripping since the carpet will be going anyway. Also much easier to paint without having to drape furniture.
Anonymous
Why hasn’t there been one of those financial posts lately where people do a whole post about their expenses/lifestyle etc?
nona
There just was one? Like 2 weeks ago?
Anonymous
Not the same Anon. I think people were/are expecting them every week.
January
There probably have to be enough people willing to contribute such a post.
Cat
if you’re craving more, Refinery29 publishes Money Diaries daily. It doesn’t ask quite as many questions about overall savings etc. but they are very satisfying!
Anon
Looking for recommendations for a good plaintiff side employment lawyer to deal with a gender + racial+ religious discrimination issue in the metro dc area. The kicker – the potential plantiff is a in house lawyer at a local company.
Anonymous
Katz Marshall and banks
Linda
Gilbert Employment Law, Silver Spring.
Blueberries
I got kind of worried about the inclusion of some ultra-processed food in my family’s diet based on reports of the new study showing that ultra processed food causes all sorts of terrible problems, including significant weight gain. For example, see NPR’s coverage:https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2019/05/16/723693839/its-not-just-salt-sugar-fat-study-finds-ultra-processed-foods-drive-weight-gain
However, when I looked at the actual food provided to the study participants, it seems like the problems could be explained by the fact that the ultra-processed food participants ate very few fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and far more fried food, refined carbs, and foods with added sugar than the participants on the minimally processed diet. Menus are here: https://secure.jbs.elsevierhealth.com/action/getSharedSiteSession?redirect=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cell.com%2Fcms%2F10.1016%2Fj.cmet.2019.05.008%2Fattachment%2F3e50c90d-ca83-48c3-80e4-82e925189f1b%2Fmmc1&rc=0
Obviously, it’s really hard to eat healthfully from ultra-processed food, but I’m not seeing how the study shows that it’s the processing per se and not eating almost exclusively junk that caused terrible things for the study participants. I’m therefore feeling pretty good with a diet that includes canned beans, fish sticks, canned tuna, Amy’s frozen meals, breakfast cereal, and some cookies (not all in the same day, and I also have plenty of non-processed foods).
Anyone see it differently? Should I be trying to cut out all ultra-processed foods?
Anonymous
Every time you eat an ultra processed food is a time you aren’t eating a natural food. I think it’s fine to decide that it’s still worth it to you, I certainly eat processed foods. But you’re kidding yourself trying to poke holes in the research.
Anonymous
IMO, canned beans and tuna aren’t “processed” – they’re in a natural form with nothing added (I mean, unless you get a spicy version or whatever). Cereal, fish sticks, and frozen dinners all have varying levels of “processed.” Of course it’s best to eat whole foods whenever possible, but by eating generally healthfully and limiting junk, I think you’re good.
That said, my grandparents both lived into their mid-90s on a diet consisting almost exclusively of factory-made food, while one of the healthiest people I know had cancer. Life’s a crapshoot. Just do your best.
Blueberries
I don’t view canned beans or canned tuna as processed either. However, the study’s definition of ultra-processed includes all canned beans, canned tuna, breakfast cereal, and frozen dinner, regardless of ingredients in the cereal/frozen dinner.
busybee
I don’t think cutting out any food is generally a good idea. Just leads to binging on whatever the forbidden fruit is. The study seems pretty flawed TBH. Canned beans are an excellent source of a LOT of nutrients. Breakfast cereals, even the sugary ones, are a valuable source of B vitamins. A study that doesn’t differentiate between a Big Mac and canned beans isn’t worth changing your life over, in my opinion.
Anon
People say this all the time about the “forbidden fruit,” but if you end up with something like Celiac disease, you really have to get over your culinary Madonna/whore complex and just not eat what’s not good for you.
busybee
Hey Anon at 5:26, I actually have celiac disease so yeah I’d say I’m over any whore complex.
Anon
I guess that depends on whether you break down and binge on the forbidden baguette or not?
Anonymous
I think you can rest easy. I quickly read the entire study and didn’t see it say that.
Here’s the study itself: https://www.cell.com/cell-metabolism/fulltext/S1550-4131(19)30248-7
And here’s the definition of “ultraprocessed” they used: https://archive.wphna.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/WN-2016-7-1-3-28-38-Monteiro-Cannon-Levy-et-al-NOVA.pdf
Canned fish falls in Group 2 – only if it has added fats, oils, or sugars. Otherwise I think it and canned beans are still whole foods. And I certainly think there are whole foods that can be prepared and then frozen into microwaveable meals.
Blueberries
Thanks! I looking at a different interpretation of NOVA by mistake—not the one used in the study.
Beans
Canned beans have a LOT of sodium, that’s why they are thought of as processed in these sorts of situations. Yes, beans are nutritious, so better than a lot of other processed foods, but if you have something like Hugh blood pressure it is absolutely something to consider very carefully.
Anonymous
I’ve got 99 problems and this ain’t one.
I try to eat a variety of foods each day and try to eat whole foods (vs processed) if they are available. Sometimes the lunch at a working lunch includes just sandwiches (in which case, I eat the cheese or meat). If I eat Taco Bell pintos&cheese, that is a lot less awful than a Big Mac, IMO.
I have a kid who could live on chocolate chip cookies and granola bars. But she will eat chicken fried in butter, so win? She also likes pears. So we manage, more or less.
IMO if you have a normal weight and normal blood pressure, I think you are ahead of the game. Heroics aren’t necessary unless you want that.
Anon
I feel the same way you do. I eat an Amy’s kitchen meal for lunch almost every day (it’s cheaper and a lot lower calorie/sodium than eating a meal out, especially since I really don’t like salads) and then we endeavor to do less processed foods at dinner. The toddler eats more processed foods than DH and I do, but we figure this is a relatively short season of life and we endeavor to look for things that have some nutritional value and not too much added junk – eg. organic turkey meatballs, whole grain cereals, baby food pouches with no ingredients except fruits and vegetables, etc.
My father is 75, morbidly obese and eats pretty much exclusively red meat, sugar and french fries and has (knock on wood) never had major health problems. My health nut MIL had cancer twice in her 60s and two of her siblings are already dead, despite a way healthier lifestyle than my parents. I tend to agree that life’s a crapshoot and I want to enjoy what time I have here, which includes using a fair amount of pre-made, processed foods to free up my time so I can sometimes play in the backyard with my kid instead of cooking.
Anonymous
Life isn’t a crapshoot. Yes, some people who make terrible choices don’t face consequences. Yes, some healthy people get sick. It’s incredibly stupid to just throw your hands up and give up. Young childhood should be a time of nurturing your kids and setting them up for a life of health.
Anon
You can f-ck right off with your judgment. I’m not “throwing my hands up and giving up.” I’m accepting that if I feed myself and my family healthy food most of the time, it’s ok to enjoy life the rest of the time and not stress myself out (mental health is health too) just because we occasionally eat some processed food. Not all processed food is equally bad for you. An organic turkey meatball with only turkey, vegetables and spices on the ingredient list is not as unhealthy as a Big Mac. My toddler eats numerous “unprocessed” foods (plain yogurt, fresh salmon, chicken and turkey, fresh fruits and vegetables) and plenty of processed food that still has a great deal of nutritional value (whole grain cereals, unsalted nut butters, canned fish and beans).
Anonymous
Ok! You said you eat highly processed food for lunch every day and your toddler eats more processed foods than you. Do whatever but your choices do matter.
Anon
And if you want to talk about “setting them (kids) up for a lifetime of health” my father was actually denied sweets and other treats as a child and turned into a compulsive binge-eater in adulthood, and that’s not an unusual reaction to being completely deprived of something in childhood. I believe that my teaching my kids to enjoy healthy foods mixed in with treats in moderation, I’m doing far more to set them up for a lifetime of health than if they were only allowed to consume 100% healthy food in childhood.
Anonymous
Ya know I’m sorry. This was rude.
Anon
Are Amy’s frozen meals actually considered highly processed?
Anonymous
100% yes
Anon
It depends on the definition of highly processed, which doesn’t have one universal standard definition, as far as I know. But I think equating processed with unhealthy is overly simplistic, and Amy’s is healthier than a lot of other frozen options, and certainly healthier than most restaurant/take-out meals. The sodium content is relatively high (although pretty much all restaurant food is high in sodium too and how unhealthy this is for you is a fairly individual thing – I have chronically low blood pressure and have actually been instructed by doctors to eat more sodium, especially while pregnant and nursing) but they have a lot of cheesy pasta bowls that provide a lot of calcium (a nutrient I and lots of other women need more of), the ingredients are all organic and all real foods, they tend to be veggie heavy, and for me it’s one of the few things that will fill me up in 400-500 calories (all other meals that size leave me wanting more and eating a second lunch mid-afternoon). So on balance, I think they’re relatively healthy for me.
BigLaw and sick
I’ve big in BigLaw for a while and my area is in a lull at the moment. I’m also chronically ill with something, so I can hang in there during the day but can’t seem to knock out a couple of additional hours each evening like I used to. And it’s slow, so I get done what needs to be done and go home; rinse; repeat.
Do I mention this to my firm? I will eventually need surgery and some recovery time, but it’s more like we’ve been slow for about 7 months and that’s about how long I’ve been ill (I didn’t notice at first; I was more grateful that things slowed down).
It’s like maybe I need retroactive reduced hours to stay in their good grades (OTOH, we’d be slow even if I weren’t ill). It took a while to figure out what what was wrong and the first surgery (outpatient) didn’t fix the problem.
There is no manual for this. I’m a bit scared I’ll never be full-steam ahead again (in which case I’d ask for reduced hours and as we’ve been slow, would probably get it). Even billing 6 hours/day of billable work is exhausting.
Anon
You don’t need to do anything right now. There isn’t much work, so you are doing a normal amount of work compared to the other Associates. When work picks back up, and if you are clearly doing less compared to the other Associates, then consider speaking up. And even then, the pros of speaking up (not being dinged on bonus) may be outweighed by the cons (why proactively request a lower base from going part time?).
Don’t borrow problems. Good luck with your recovery and take it one day or week at a time.
Anon
Sorry you’re going through this, I’ve been there and it really sucks to be sick and still have to power through work.
Not the question you asked, if you’re exhausted after 6 hour billable hours, would getting a bit more rest might have an impact on your recovery / condition? I know 6 hours can be considered “slow” from a normal Biglaw standpoint, but since it’s actually probably more like a full-time 9 to 6, would you benefit from being able to actually rest by taking more leave, if you can? If so, I would consider mentioning it to my firm so that people know not to pile on too much, for example if I have to push back on work while taking on a bit less than I usually do / other associates in my practice area (caveat: my firm does not have a part-time policy, so it’s all in or nothing), or otherwise take a few months of leave altogether.
I do realize that it’s hard to come back from medical leave and get back into the main tracks at Biglaw unless the condition has a clear diagnosis and a cure, so it’s a difficult situation, but your health is important. Are you trying to make partner at your firm? If surgery will address your condition and allow you to come back at 100%, I think it might be worth considering if disclosing it, taking a leave and coming back when you’re better will be preferable to feeling your position is precarious from under-billing or not being at the top of your game at work.
Anon
Sorry you’re going through this, I’ve been there and it really sucks to be sick and still have to power through work.
Not the question you asked, if you’re exhausted after 6 hour billable hours, would getting a bit more rest might have an impact on your recovery / condition? I know 6 hours can be considered “slow” from a normal Biglaw standpoint, but since it’s actually probably more like a full-time 9 to 6, would you benefit from being able to actually rest by taking more leave, if you can? If so, I would consider mentioning it to my firm so that people know not to pile on too much, for example if I have to push back on work while taking on a bit less than I usually do / other associates in my practice area (caveat: my firm does not have a part-time policy, so it’s all in or nothing), or otherwise take a few months of leave altogether. I do realize that it’s hard to come back from medical leave and get back into the main tracks at Biglaw unless the condition has a clear diagnosis and a cure, so it’s a difficult situation, but your health is important.
Are you trying to make partner at your firm? If surgery will address your condition and allow you to come back at 100%, I think it might be worth considering if disclosing it, taking a leave and coming back when you’re better will be preferable to feeling your position is precarious from under-billing or not being at the top of your game at work.
Flats Only
Hair question. I have a curly bob, and like how it looks on a day to day basis (I think of it as a “corporate Shirley Temple” style). I will be attending a formal evening event in a few weeks, and want to get my hair “done” for the event. Since the curls are a bit of a trademark, I don’t want to get a blow out. What I would like would be a head of perfect, shiny, “done” looking curls. The event is out of town – what would I tell a salon I want done when I make the appointment? Looking for the correct terminology.
Tippins
I would show pictures of what you like to the stylist, instead of describing with words.
GrayHat
Do you want the salon to heat style your hair? If so, I’m guessing that they will just go over your curls with a curling iron and hairspray to get uniform curly. If you don’t want heat styling, you might be better off accomplishing this on your own. Look up “the laura method curly girl” on youtube – I think that might get you the look you want.
Wow
Fellow curly girl. This is probably obvious but I would only go to a stylist who is an expert at curly hair. Most stylists don’t have a clue and you risk looking way worse than you would if you just did it yourself.
Anonymous
Does anyone have any good indoor recommendations for Austin TX? Raining this weekend! Thank you!
LSC
Alamo Drafthouse if you want to see a movie. Punchbowl Social for drinking and bowling. Crux Climbing Gym or Austin Bouldering Project. The Whole Foods mothership store at 5th and Lamar. Right next to local book store Book People as well as Anthropologie and REI. LBJ Presidential Library on the UT campus. Blanton Art Museum. We’re kind of an outdoor city, but lots of good bars and restaurants where you can pass the time too. Good luck!
abortion access
for the commentor asking about getting help directly women who need to get to abortion clinics, I just saw a link yesterday, abouy the National Network of Abortion Funds. I don’t know anything more about it than I read (link in post to follow) but the magazine it’s published in is totally ad-free/reader-funded, fwiw. Another donation option besides PP and ACLU.
abortion access
https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/donate-to-abortion-funds-yamani-hernandez
anon
well, the link doesn’t seem to be making it through mod, probably because it’s from b!tch media. That’s a shame.
anon
I need a new haircut. I just lost 40 pounds, my career is going gangbusters and I’ve been promoted to a more visible and senior role, and I’m still getting back on my feet after discovering my husband’s affair a few months ago (this part is actually going really well). I haven’t done anything with my hair for years, it’s brown and straight and long and is just kind of there. I’m open to anything (probably including color to cover the grays that are coming in at the temples). When I’m at these board meetings or fundraisers, I feel dumpy compared to the polished senior execs there. I’m not good at beauty stuff, but I can afford to pay for it and am pretty open to suggestions. Where can I go in NYC (especially Manhattan but not limited) to just walk in, put myself in their hands, and walk out looking fresh and cool and polished, even though I can’t describe what I want beyond that? Help!
anon
You need pictures! Scour Instagram or the internets and find a few examples of *your* definition of fresh and polished.
anonymous
DopDop Salon in Soho. Especially George.
anon
Thanks! I just booked an appointment there based on your recommendation.
Rainbow Hair
Bangs bangs bangs! (I have a feeling this will get a “god no” response from some folks on here, but…)
I had (pretty! long! mermaidy!) brown hair and I was tired of it just being there. A few months ago, for the first time in my life, I got bangs! They’re kinda like Linda Cardellini in Dead to Me (though I got ’em before I started watching the show). Anyway! I enjoy that when I pull my hair back in a frustration ponytail (which I do most days) I still have *something* going on. I barely know how to blowdry my hair but I can get my bangs to behave in about 3 minutes in the morning.
bangs ftw
I agree! I just got bangs too (a la Natasha Lyon in Russian Doll, or so I like to think). They are so flattering. I have curly hair so it’s a different situation but bangs frame your face and show off your cheekbones. I honestly feel like I need less makeup than before. And no need for Botox either since they cover your forehead!
Rainbow Hair
Woohoo! Bangs!
anon
I may just take this advice too. Why not?
abortion access
https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/donate-to-abortion-funds-yamani-hernandez
Anon
Arghhh, DH is driving me crazy. He got let go a couple of weeks ago and has decided he is suddenly a “supportive” spouse. He claims to want to help with stuff around the house. Anything that needs to be done, he calls dibs.
And.does.not.do.it.
He is dealing with notice period and negotiating a new offer but i feel like he views the whole home logistics thing as a fun hobby. He goes “Grocery shopping” and buys a bunch of stuff that won’t get used up and then proceeds to eat out every meal. He gets upset if i do my normal stuff (laundry, picking up around the house, what have you) because he was planning to. So now, in addition to dealing with getting stuff done, i also have to worry about him complaining that he wanted to do it
Anonymouse
This is exactly what my husband would do… lol.
Senior Attorney
I’m sorry but this is kind of hilarious. I’d say keep doing what you’re doing and tell him he is welcome to do whatever he likes, but if he doesn’t get to it before you do you’re not going to hold back.
Hopefully this will be over soon when he’s in his new job.
Vicky Austin
I’d ignore him.
Good luck
You are a very patient spouse.
You’re not my spouse, but I kind of love you.
Smash the Patriarchy
I hate that when male members of the bar compliment me professionally, I have to wonder if it is sincere or if they are hitting on me. Ugh.
Anon
IANAL, but in my former line of work, I always had to do a quick “would this be a compliment if he said it to a dude” calculation before reacting. I’m thankful to finally be in a place where it’s not an issue. While no gig is perfect, this is one thing that makes my present place of employment pretty damn good.
Rainbow Hair
UGH I feel that. Let’s get Godzilla over here to do some real stomping.
Lady Anonymous
Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment. Get over the idea that everybody wants you. They don’t.
LaurenB
I accept compliments from anyone and everyone with a thank-you and a smile. I”m not so full of myself that everyone must be flirting with me, as hawt as I certainly am.