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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Rapallo Woven Trim Top

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This very simple Boden t-shirt is great for a casual office, no matter how you accessorize it, and for other offices, the little ruffles at the hem and the neckline elevate it a bit from your typical t-shirt and make it something to easily layer with the rest of your workwear — even to wear underneath a suit (not for an interviews, though). It comes in sizes 2-18 in five colors for $42. With promo code 3Z9V, you can get 30% off, which brings it down to $29.40! Rapallo Woven Trim Top (Psst: New to Boden? Check out our recent guide to how to build a work wardrobe at Boden.) Here's a plus-size option. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

280 Comments

        1. Also I’m expecting we will have plenty of requests for the link to ‘that MM LaFleur bst group on FB’…

          1. It I see them I’ll still link to specific requests. I tried to stay on the ad pages and not constructive posts.

    1. That would be informal for the black tie galas I’ve attended, although it may be the styling. Someone told me that as a non-award winning woman under 30, I didn’t need to do floor length, but that I should still stick to traditional fabrics and cuts. I can’t find the dress I wear (events are rare enough I just recycle), but I haven’t seen slip dress styles at any of my events.

      My events are law/corporate/tax events in Manhattan, for what that’s worth.

      1. Just looked at the pictures… the women are less formally dressed than at mine. I wonder if that’s a Canadian vs. US thing? City thing? Anyway, you may be fine. Maybe with some sort of pashmina?

        1. It seems like the men are dressed in black tie but the women are in cocktail. In Australia, black tie means nothing less than floor length.

    2. I would say no…that cut might work if floor length, but I don’t think the style suits the event particularly at that length

    3. I think it’s fine if you style it more formally than the model is. The model looks schlumpy in it.

    4. Together, the lack of structure plus the midi length make this dress too informal for black tie. If you want to feel confident and sophisticated and not worry about being underdressed, I would err on the side of formality, which means more structure, a dark color, and floor length.

    5. I love that dress and would buy and wear it myself for a different event, but I think it reads as more beach or resort wear than formalwear. I think it’s a combination of the hemline, the adjustable, bra-like straps, and the cut. A good test is to imagine the dress with formal shoes (metallic heeled sandals?), and I just can’t see it.

  3. I just got my dream job. It’s been a tough year with the job search but now I landed a super prestigious gig in a different business, same company. I’m so happy….it was worth the wait, in a way.

  4. My daughter is in love with Lilly Pulitzer dresses, and since the kids’ sizes are much more affordable than I’d feared and she has a gift-giving occasion coming up, I’m tempted to make her wish come true. But where exactly is it appropriate to wear this sort of thing? I can only envision one of these dresses at the country club or a Caribbean resort, neither of which is a place she will be spending much time. They seem too beachy for church, the theater, and concerts, which constitute most of her dress-up occasions.

    1. I feel like they’re everywhere now. I feel like most summer events would be good. Church (depending on your church I guess), brunch, BBQs, dinner, museum visit, etc.

    3. I’d say go ahead and give her the gift, and let her wear it when she wants to. If she shows up a little overdressed or out of place occasionally because she wants to wear a dress she loves, where’s the harm? But if you’re dead set on having a particular place to wear it, some of the styles would work fine for church in my experience.

    4. I live in CLT and in VA before that.

      If it is warm enough, Lilly Pulitzer is always appropriate.
      Church
      Theater
      Concerts
      are all OK. The difference is the footwear — little flats vs jack rodgers vs keens vs flip flops.

      I think once girls outgrow smocked dresses, they just all wear Lilly as their fancy attire. Also check out Gretchen Scott — it’s a little less in your face AND you can get a lot of things that are Mommy & me if that is your thing (FWIW, I wear an XS in GS and am tempted just to buy the kids size stuff).

      1. Ooh, she is going to flip over the little Gretchen Scott tunics. I had not thought about the footwear making the difference, but that totally makes sense.

    5. How old is she? FWIW, both of my daughters have favorite dresses. They are ages 5 and 8 now, which means clothes don’t fit them one year to the next anyway. I let them wear their favorites whenever they want, and I don’t worry about keeping them for nice occasions. If it makes them happy to wear a frilly dress to hang off the monkey bars, so be it.

    6. I’m from the South, and IMO, she can wear Lilly whenever. If you’re freaked out about her messing up an “expensive” dress, you can find good deals on thredup and poshmark.

      Or you could use this as an excuse to start going to brunch way more often, which sounds great to me!

      1. We are relatively new to the South and I still do not get the fashion rules here. I am not worried about her messing it up, more about its not being formal enough for actual dress-up. It sounds as if this is not the case at all. And I like the idea of an excuse to go out to brunch!

        1. Welcome!

          As far as the rules go… I think bright colors, classic styles, and feminine details are all big here. Large pearls and monograms are normal on all ages. Giant hairbows are also totally normal on little girls. Some people I know dress their kids in smocked/heirloom outfits every day, including when they are playing hard or going to daycare and getting messy. I don’t, but my laundry skills are mediocre at best. Seersucker is completely office appropriate.

          1. You’re making me wish I were a Southerner, minus the giant bows. :)

            I love Lilly, but it would look soooo out of place in my small Midwest city. I’ve lived here all my life, and I don’t think I could sum up the general style here as succinctly as you did.

          2. I feel like you’re describing a different era, not just a different region!

            -From foggy SF where everyone is in black athleisure

          3. Haha, it’s funny, I didn’t realize that girls in other parts of the country don’t wear hairbows. We went on a trip for Christmas and I packed a matching hairbow for each of my daughter’s outfits. My niece LOVED the bows, but my sister told me that she didn’t think she could get some for her because they live in California and none of the little girls there wear hairbows!

          5. Born and raised in the south as well. Growing up, my grandmother would make my dresses and ALWAYS made a matching hair bow with the leftover fabric. I distinctly remember being upset when my mom bought me a dress from a store and there was no hair bow to go with it!

          6. It was a good day when I was old enough to tell my mother I didn’t want to wear a bow. I thought it was just a late 80s/early 90s Southern trend, but my Facebook feed tells me all my friends from high school who now have little girls are still putting giant bows on them.

    7. In the South, she can wear Lilly anywhere and no one would question it- especially to church. And I agree with a previous poster re shoes making a difference.
      There are several good BST pages on Facebook for Lilly. My favorite for kids is: Lilly Pulitzer Kids Bst and my favorite for adults is: Lilly Pulitzer: Dressed to Impress
      You can find some amazing deals on these sites.

      1. Wow, this is fascinating. I seriously haven’t seen a Lily dress IRL since I was at my super-preppy college in the 80’s. I guess that’s what comes from living in Northern CA.

    2. I never played Snood, but I regularly miss Television Without Pity (sorry, totally unrelated but you made me think of things I miss online).

          1. It is not exactly the same, but is run by some of the same people. I cracked up at their take on this week’s summary of the latest episode of The Handmaid’s Tale.

      2. Adding to the Online Things I Miss theme:

        Cute Overload
        Going waaaay back: suck.com

  6. Let us now praise the Target clearance rack, where I found one of the Victoria Beckham skirts for $9.

    Anyone else score any good deals recently?

    1. I just scored 40% off on a grey leather jacket that has been in my Nordstrom on-line shopping bag for close to a year!

        1. URL is really long, so search Trouve Drape Front Leather Jacket. Some sizes are already gone.

          1. I know I should be willing to break out of my shell, but I do wish they had it in black

    2. I just bought a ton of tops on sale in the Nordstrom sale. I’ve lost some weight lately and needed to refresh the tops in my wardrobe — some have gotten stained and others are just too big now. Just a PSA, the much-beloved Lush and Pleione popover tops are really discounted.

  7. This is more of a rant than a question since it’s going to be way too vague…there’s some weird smell in my apartment and I can’t seem to find or shake, ARG. It’s vaguely food smelling, but not quite? Sort of a metallic rotting smell, not super strong but definitely there. Opened all the windows multiple days and it’s still here. I’ve thrown away all the bad food and trash and nothing. Maybe my cat puked somewhere hidden? Going to have to go on a hunt today. UGH.

      1. I really hope not…it’s not a super old building and there’s not many hiding places. Maybe my cat is a better hunter than I thought (she’s normally just fat and old and lazy…and cute)?

      1. I also had the fishy smell that turned out to be burning electrical wiring when we ran the window AC. Luckily we figured that out in time!

        Another horrible smell turned out to be a dead squirrel in the air vent system in our new house…

      1. Or limes a week or so ago and forget them? We had a similar smell and it was fresh limes that were no longer good.

      2. I don’t recall a smell but I forgot potatoes in a deep cabinet once, and we had little black flies everywhere in our kitchen. Not fruit flies – bigger than that, but not as big as a housefly. Must be specific to rotting potatoes. They were such treat to find… not… but at least we got rid of the flies.

      3. I had this happen with potatoes. They liquified and smelled godawful up close, but it was a faint, hard-to-track smell otherwise.

    4. There’s a musty, unpleasant smell in one of our cars and I have checked everywhere and can’t find the source. The smell is not strong, but not knowing where it’s coming from drives me crazy.

      1. Have you checked your car for leaks? A few years back I had a car that smelled very similar and I learned that water was leaking into the interior whenever it rained. Mold had grown in the spaces between the inside and outside of the car and I drove around like that months before I learned what it was. I shudder to think of the health impacts.

        1. I think because your handle is Bad Kitty, I read this as “Have you checked your cat for leaks?”

          Which is also a good idea.

    5. Just this week I found a “surprise” from my cat in the linen closet. She rarely does this and I rarely go in the linen closet, so I shudder to think how long it had been there. Guess who gets to spend this weekend washing every sheet and towel she owns?

      1. I have cat pee paranoia and often think I smell it when I brush our basil plant in the kitchen

    7. Ugh, I have so been there – it’s maddening! I live in an apartment building so when all else fails I pretend it is something coming from the neighbors.

    8. This is not what your smell is coming from (unless you’ve made some enemies lately?), but I once heard of someone being really mad at their landlord when they moved out, so they hid shrimp inside the hollow curtain rods.

      1. HAHA I’ve heard this as an ex-wife getting revenge on the husband and new wife who ended up with the former marital residence. Husband and New Wife could never find the source of the smell so they ended up moving… and taking the curtains and curtain rods with them!

        I’m sure it’s apocryphal but it makes me laugh every time!

        1. Haha, yes it’s probably apocryphal (a friend of a friend of a friend SWEARS it happened) but I do love how simple + devious it is.

    9. Do you have a garbage disposal? I have a sensitive nose, so this is my life at least once a month in a house with a large dog, cat, husband, and toddler.

      My two first stops are the garbage disposal– are you familiar with a product called Plink? Cleans and deodorizes– and the trash can. Sometimes the inside of the can needs to be hosed out or wiped down with Lysol. Or if I’m in a hurry, sprayed thoroughly with Febreeze air effects before I put the bag in.

      1. Have also had this problem with my garbage disposal. I usually clean it by 1) chucking a couple big handfuls of ice down it and running it and 2) following up with distilled vinegar, again with the disposal on.

    10. This happened to me once and I literally thought I was going insane. It turned out to be some cheap Steve M. shoes that I bought a couple of pairs of. They were flats, and the lining of the shoes gave off a horrible petroleum smell. I even called my plumber thinking it was sewer gas.

    11. Does it get worse when you run the sink or the dishwasher? If so it could be the garbage disposal or or the food trap in the DW. Also, I once had a mystery smell for weeks before I realized it was some garlic I had sitting on the counter that looked fine from the outside but had started rotting from within.

    12. Ionce forgot something cauliflower in the oven, left for a few days and came back to a really foul odor all around.

    13. Take everything, the drawers, everything out of your fridge. I once had a packet of hamburger get lodged behind a drawer that had veggies in it so I couldn’t see it. It was not pleasant.

  8. I apologize it this has been asked before, but I am thinking about buying a Halogen pencil skirt. Can anyone tell me about the fit? Does it taper at the hips, or is it more of a straight skirt fit? Also, does it run TTS, small, or large?

    1. I have found that 1) they are tapered and 2) they are true to size. They do change up the style from year to year so you probably have to try it to be certain.

    2. Runs large.

      Taper at the hips?

      It tapers some to the knees. Is a forgiving fabric. It has space for some curves/rear.

      I am a smallish pear, and they actually don’t work well for me, but are so popular that you should really just order a couple siz es and try it.

      1. I am a similar shape. Do you have a brand of skirt you would suggest? I used to love the Limited (RIP) because their skirts were more straight.

  9. I realize this is an out-of-season request, but does anyone have brilliant ideas about where I could find a moto-style jacket this time of year? Something in blush would be especially nice, but black would work, too.

    If a moto jacket is going to be too hard to find, what other kind of outerwear could I wear over a maxi dress? I’ve tried cardigans with this particular dress and they look either dowdy or just plain sloppy. I need some structure over the flowy skirt, I think.

      1. Wow, that’s a gorgeous jacket. I’m not sure I can justify the price for what I need it for, but it’s perfect.

      1. +!. I have them in regular denim and white for summer. They are two of the most worn items in my weekend wardrobe.

      3. This is what I do! One of the Gap’s shrunken jean jackets from like a decade ago, usually with the sleeves cuffed up a few inches above my wrists.

    4. I wear a jean jacket over maxi dresses all the time. There should be some twill moto jackets out there for spring/summer. Anthropologie had one recently. Try Nordstrom too.

    5. I think denim jackets look really cute with maxi dresses, especially flowy dresses in silk-like fabrics.

    6. Another vote for denim jackets. I have a white denim jacket that I love to wear with maxi dresses!

    10. If I were in the market I’d try out the ones from DLSTD. But if you’re looking for something over a maxi dress in the summer, that sounds hot and sweaty! What about a linen blazer?

      1. It’s more for making my long dresses wearable in spring/fall when it’s borderline chilly.

    12. Bomber jackets are big this year – particularly in silky material or lace/openwork. I think they’d look good with a maxi.

  10. In the vein of all the fitness related posts recently, I thought I’d ask for some advice here. I’m just starting a yoga practice. I’ve been to 2 classes so far, and have rented a mat but something about it is grossing me out. What should I get? I’m fine clothes-wise, but mat? Towel? Bag to carry my mat? Any specific recommendations would be really helpful – I googled and was super overwhelmed by all the options.

    Thanks all!

    1. Definitely get your own mat. I like the Gaiam brand – you can get them at most sporting goods stores or Target/Amazon. Unless you have issues like knee problems, a 3mm thickness is fine (and less bulky/easier to carry).

      I’ve never bothered with a special bag. A regular gym bag for water/towel/clothes plus carrying the mat in your hand is fine.

    2. I am not picky on mats, but I would pick up some cleaning spray or wipes to wipe it down after each class, and maybe a thin towel. Some people cover their whole mat in a towel but I just liked to have one where I put my face down. I’m not acne prone but a few yoga sessions a week definitely gave me some pimples.

    3. I love my Manduka Prolite mat. It feels harder than my old Gaiam, but the firmness actually makes it much more comfortable because my knees don’t sink right through it to the floor, which they did with my Gaiam even though I am not that heavy. The Prolite was slippery at first but is breaking in nicely. I have a velcro strap for carrying it. High-quality mats tend to be very heavy. I found the Prolite to have the perfect balance between light weight and cushion. You can see a variety of mat brands and models in person at REI.

      When I don’t have my own mat with me, I put a large towel down over the whole mat. This is also helpful for hot yoga class or if your hands and feet tend to sweat and slip. Try a regular beach towel or bath sheet before investing in an expensive non-skid yoga towel.

      Mat cleaning spray is expensive. There are a bunch of recipes on the web for making your own.

      1. In this vein, I have the Manduka Pro (not lite) version and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. It’s made a world of difference in my practice. Is it heaver? Yes. But since I drive to the studio, I don’t find it to be a problem. I agree with the above poster – it was slippery at first. But I did the salt scrub recommendation and it is now breaking in perfectly. I also have a velcro strap for carrying it, and I usually just tuck my towel under one of the straps and leave the gym bag at home.

        I have a few yoga sweat towels that are super absorbent. Life savers. I do primarily hot yoga, and I am apparently a super sweaty person, so they help keep things in check and I just rotate through them washing regularly. Cannot recommend enough – they are much better than a regular towel. I never use a whole beach towel, but that’s mostly because my mat is now broken in enough to not need a full towel imo.

        In case you are interested, there’s a great sale on the mat I have right now at Yoga Outlet. Here’s a link. In addition, you can find yoga towels on this site for cheap – the Manduka brand ones are around $7.50 right now for certain colors.

        https://www.yogaoutlet.com/p/manduka-pro-yoga-mat-31713/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google-shopping&color=50949&gclid=CjwKEAjwpJ_JBRC3tYai4Ky09zQSJAC5r7ruJw4eIK7UsEJDCMm2iYbNuyO_U_eyvsf-raPl3iYk1RoCL1_w_wcB

      2. Do you have any further advice on how to make a mat not slippery? I own a mat from Lulu Lemon and my hands slip on it 100% of the time I use it, even at the beginning of class when my hands aren’t sweaty (though they quickly get there anyway during class). I end up putting a towel down where my hands go, which is not the best solution because that slips too a bit. I have also used the mats from my studio and had the same problem, so I don’t think it’s just this particular mat. I have literally nearly faceplanted multiple times using different mats.

        Are there mats out there that are more sticky? Or something you can spray on them to make them stickier? Or something I can put on my hands?

        1. I have a lulu mat and a manduka. With both mats, I found that if I put a dry towel on top at the beginning of class, I’d slip with the towel, and if I didn’t use one, I’d slip once I got sweaty. My solution is to keep the towel at the top of the mat folded accordion style, and unfold it onto the top of the mat once I get too sweaty to grip properly. Then the towel soaks up the sweat already on the mat and on my hands and it gets damp enough that I don’t slip on it. Some people also spray their towels a bit with water before class, I’ve noticed.

        2. I bought a Lulu Lemon non slip mat. It’s very thin, no give, no cushion, but I don’t slip. I find it makes things a little more difficult because I can’t slide my feet around to change position really at all. I have to pick up my foot a little to move. But I do a heated class and sweat like an MFer, so this is the only way I wasn’t slipping all over the place. It was about $70 and needed to be aired out a bit because it smelled like rubber, but I am happy with it overall.

          1. These and Lifeforme mats are the only ones I have found that I do not slip on during hot classes without a towel.

            I have one for home and one that travels with me to the yoga studio. I don’t find, however, that compared to a typical studio mat, that the Lululemon lacks padding. It’s not soft, but it’s dense, and does a good job of shielding my knees. Did you get the thinner version? They make three versions — one that’s 3mm and one that’s 5mm, and a travel “un” mat. I love my 5mm one.

            I would agree, however, that compared to something like the Manduka Black Pro, even my 5mm one is not that padded.

          2. the lululemon nonslip mats are pretty good. If you’re ever interested in doing jumpthroughs/jumpbacks be forewarned that they are harder on that type of mat.

            Another lover of the manduka black pro.

    5. Welcome to yoga! Definitely get your own mat; that way you can start a home practice too. Don’t overthink it and just get one. The first mat I got was a mat with a cool southwest style from Yetiyoga on Etsy, which I absolutely bought because I liked the design and it was different. (this one: https://www.etsy.com/listing/191714745/the-rowan-yoga-mat-bridesmaids-gift-idea?ref=shop_home_active_21) I LOVE THIS MAT! And it’s not particularly amazing or anything, but it will have my heart forever. It was slippery at first but the more you use your mat the less slippery it will be – there’s a sheen or something when it first comes that you have to wear off. The salt bath helps with that. It’s super light – in the wind it will blow away a lot easier than other mats.

      A couple years later that mat is falling apart (like I literally have pieces of it fall off when I practice on it) so I do a ridiculous amount of research and end up buying a Jade Harmony mat. I have a Jade Harmony mat that is a different style – it’s open cell and really sticky right off the bat. A lot of people love it – I don’t. I finally had to make a rule for myself that my old Yetiyoga mat could not leave the house anymore (because picking up little pieces of your torn up yoga mat is embarrassing in a studio) and I had to use the Jade Harmony mat more now. It’s fine, I just don’t like the texture (like in childs pose, it’s not comfortable to rest my forehead on the mat). I still use my old torn up mat in my home practice. :)

      I’ll probably buy a Manduka next, although I might still look at other ones with patterns. I really miss pattern that is on the old mat; I used it to orientate myself on the mat. On the solid mat I feel like I’m always too far forward, back, to the side, etc.

      So just buy a mat! I have a full size hot yoga towel that I never use that came with a little hand towel that I use all the time in hot yoga. Maybe get mat cleaner or make some for at home, but you don’t need to bring it to a studio – they have it. I have both a bag and a strap carrier, and use neither. I do use the strap carrier as a strap in my home practice, though, so I would recommend getting that if you want something to carry the mat.

      And then roll out your mat every day. Just roll it out and spend a few minutes on it. A home practice doesn’t have to be insane or intense or athletic every day. Rachel Brethren (yogagirl on instagram) newest podcast “#yogaeverydamnday” has awesome tips on getting started.

    6. I have Opinions About Mats, and like Yoga Teacher above, I teach yoga.

      I think what mat you get depends greatly on the kind of yoga you are doing, and your relative sweatiness. I practice hot yoga, mostly, and even when the room is not heated, I sweat. Gaiam mats do not work for me. I slide everywhere (even with proper hand positioning/hand lock in down dog. I am just a sweaty mess).

      I have tried almost every mat in existence, every mat that says it’s slip proof, etc. I have, and own: A Jade Harmony, a Manduka Black Pro, a Manduka Eco Lite, a Lifeforme, and a Lululemon (ugh ugh ugh) The Mat.

      I still slip on the Jade, so it is strictly for home purposes now. The Manduka Pro is slippery for me, even after months of breaking in, so I always use it with a towel, when it gets used at all. It’s very padded, but otherwise unremarkable (for me). I like the Eco Lite (it’s grippy), but it has limited padding. It’s my travel mat. The Lifeforme and Lululemon mats are my favorite, and are my workhorses. They have similar smooth yet grippy surfaces, and have good padding. The Lululemon is by far cheaper (about $70, same as the Jade), and the Lifeforme is ridiculously expensive (I think it was $170).

      When I do use a towel with my manduka (or Jade), I use a Yogitoes mat with the rubber grippies on the back. I have used them for years and love love love them. For years and years I used a regular Gaiam mat with a yogitoes towel and made it through hot classes. The towel does still move on the mat, but it’s much less pronounced than the bare mat.

      Other than that: I do not use the mat sling or the mat bag that I own, but I am always driving to class and just carrying my mat from my car to the studio. If you’re taking transit or walking to class, a strap or a bag may be helpful (I tend to prefer straps/slings to bags).

      In short: it depends largely on your body chemistry what mat will work for you. Get one and try it out. But may be get a towel to try over a mat that is still slippery for you.

    7. I like my Manduka eco lite – if you are tall, you can get their mats in extra long. I had a Jade, but it started sliding around (probably because I attempted to wash it). Lululemon mats are also fine. I am not a fan of the plasticy Gaim ones you buy at target and the like, and I had a Prana mat that was horrible. Sierra Trading Post sometimes has great deals on mats.

    8. I am to lazy to carry a mat (I stash my workout clothes into my handbag) and I put an anti-slip/skidless yoga towel over the studio’s mats. Bought the towel several years ago and it is still as good as new and I get regular questions from other yoga-goers about it. I bought it from Yogamatters and I think it is called Get-A-Grip Towel. Mine has small antislip dots (?) on it.

    9. I use a sweatybetty mat which is great and a yogitoes towel. They are both going strong after a 2x a week practice for the past two years. I find the towel really helps the slippiness (I do mostly hot)

    11. Thank you all so much! I’m really looking forward to getting into yoga! I’m a bit apprehensive because I’ve never done yoga before and I’m not that flexible but the two classes I’ve done were pretty basic beginners classes and were soothing so I want to get more into it.

      1. I also found that as I did it more and got better at it I just slipped less- I think you’re muscles just get used to predicting the specific stresses and you becomes more stable in the postures over time. So you might find you start slipping less after a few months!

  11. Anyone picked up anything good (especially clothing) from Target lately? I don’t live super close to one and am going this weekend.

    1. I never go to Target, but was near one recently and popped in to see what was up.

      I actually liked their basic ankle pant, but they still don’t work right for my shape. Nice staple though.

      Tons of cute, long summer dresses. But too spaghetti strap-y for me and not quite flattering for my shape.

      And I actually tried on their suiting. I was really shocked but it fit me fairly well and was so cheap. Soft, classic cut, one button blazer, decent pants (I prefer pant suits). I think they had black, navy, grey…. But as all suits need tailoring on me (waist/hems on pants, and sleeve length on blazer) I really couldn’t justify putting that much $ into such an inexpensive suit….

      But if I needed a suit in a pinch on a budget, I really would recommend checking them out.

      Does anyone know how long they last? Do they look terrible after one wash?

      1. Target suiting was the only suiting I’ve found that I like. The pants fade pretty quickly but the blazer still looks good over a year later.

    2. Here’s my Target shortlist:

      $5 for 20 underwear
      Assets by Sara Blakely hose or shapers
      Dry soda– great on its own or as a cocktail– Target’s prices are always best and they have the best flavor selection
      Mrs. Meyers cleaning products– same re prices and selection

      1. Wait, I’m getting to this late, but is it $5 for 20 pairs or $20 for 5 pairs?

    3. I bought some Merona 3/4 sleeve cardigans on sale and am pleased with the quality, especially for the price.

    5. I like their cotton tees and tanks. Their more fashiony stuff all has horrible fabric– all the specialty lines like Who What Wear and the junior clothing are made of super cheap polyester. I’m fine with polyester, but this stuff doesn’t even lay nice and feels gross against your skin.

    6. I bought some Marina shorts (chinso and a chambray) that have been great for summer. Also Merona v-neck tees that are super soft.

  12. WWYD? Stepsister is 18, which is ~ 20 years younger than me. She has a history of severe mental illness, including cutting, bulemia, suicide attempts, etc. There are rumours about abuse in the step family. She is putting a lot of effort into getting better and has every right to be proud of her successes in the past months.
    We have never been close (or so I thought). However, since feeling better, she wants very much to be part of my family. I would be delighted but for 2 issues:
    – She behaves horribly towards my husband. Which is understandable if the rumours of abuse in her family (my step family that I’ve never met) are true. However, the behavior is so extreme that DH cannot spend time with her, neither in company nor alone.
    – She has very limited impulse control and cannot take “no” for an answer. Also understandable given her history, but a bad mix with DD, who is 6 months.
    Sooo…
    How can I help her on her path to recovery and adulthood while keeping my distance? I do not want to be yet another adult who lets her down. However, spending time with her is not an option due to the reasons above.

    1. “spending time with her is not an option due to the reasons above”
      Is that really true? All you’ve said is that she’s a bad mix with your DH and DD. Not sure why you can’t spend time with her one-on-one, and I would definitely strive to do that.

      2. It sounds like she thinks being part of your family means spending time at your house – maybe sleeping over – and that is probably a bad idea. Agree to see her, but meet her for a casual lunch or some other activity away from your home. Other ideas – mani/pedis, going to a movie, shopping at a mall, going for an exercise walk, etc

        1. I should also mention Target. When my 16 year old is in a snippy mood with me, I often just say “hey, I’m going to Target, want to come along?” and that cures everything. (I am not a weekly Target shopper, so it’s a treat for her)

          1. Ha ha, yes. This works with my 10-year-old, especially since there is a Starbucks inside Target. Barnes and Noble is also good.

    2. When you say she wants to be part of your family, does she mean seeing you intermittently or something more, like developing a closeness preparatory to moving in? Also, is she primarily interested in a relationship with you, or with your nuclear family as well? I think if she’s mostly just interested in a relationship with you, you could start with some one-on-one outings and just keep it that way. (I take it she is not stable enough to be informed that her behavior is still bad enough such that she can’t be around your husband and baby.)

    3. Plan specific times to see her one on one. Go to brunch/dinner/coffee, get pedicures, something that’s a treat and will allow you to talk, but is not in your home and has a definite start and end. That way you can be there for her, but you don’t have to address the issues with DD and DH until she’s further along the road to recovery.

    4. Plan one on one activities with her. Take her to the Wonder Woman movie or get a mani/pedi together.

    5. I would focus on one-on-one time, and reaching out occasionally with check-in phone calls. Encourage therapy, encourage her outside of therapy programs/exercise/meditation/support groups/whatever she is doing…..

      And just be someone she can call.

    6. Hang out with her regularly. If you can’t find something to do or talk about, maybe do a yoga class once a week and then get coffee after? Then you’re still doing a thing together, and it might be nice to have a dependable thing like that in her life.

  13. This is a very specific one, but has anyone ever had to do injections (these are for IVF) at JFK airport? Any tips on where to do them? Thanks!

    1. Not me, but my ex husband is diabetic. He would do injections in the handicapped stall of a restroom.

      1. I should have clarified that part of the issue is that I have to mix medications on a flat surface and then inject them. The injecting part is actually pretty straightforward. I am hoping for a family bathroom but wondered if there were any secret places I wasn’t aware of. Thanks!

        1. Family bathroom with a changing table seems promising… is their a customer service phone number you could call for JFK? I wonder if there are any other rooms designated for medical/ADA needs.

    2. Are you giving them to yourself or will someone be giving it to you?

      If doing it yourself, you might see if there is a nursing mother’s lounge or similar. That sounds pretty terribly ironic for IVF injections (been there, still there, it sucks), but at least those places are private and clean. I’ve also heard about some airports having “pods” for nursing mothers that might also work?

      Separately, I’ve heard people have luck with first aid/nurses stations, which I assume exist somewhere in an airport. Or you could pay for entrance to an airline lounge and they might have a quiet/private space? Finally, I’ve also used single occupancy bathrooms/family bathrooms when I needed my husband to give me a shot.

      1. Thanks, this is very helpful. I think the nursing rooms are a great idea actually (and the fact that we’ve already been blessed with one IVF baby takes the sting out of that). I think I can be in and out in under 5 minutes and that’s a nice quiet space that’s likely to have a little table I can use. I’ll try the family restroom first, but there are often really long lines of parents waiting for those. In my experience, the nursing rooms are pretty empty. And I’m doing these myself.

      1. Was there a flat surface to mix meds on? I guess a changing station could work (if I put some paper towels down). Thanks!

    4. You could also get a pass for the airline club room and use the bathroom there. Which terminal and airline?

  14. Philly area peeps … any suggestions for a good and reasonably priced plant/flower nursery within 45 minutes of center city? I’m really looking forward to planting our summer flowers on the deck this weekend, but would rather not shop at Home Depot or Lowes, even if they are convenient.

    And please don’t say Terrain — it would bankrupt us :)

    TIA!

    1. If you’d go to south jersey (25 min drive from CC) — check out Green Lea Florists in Voorhees NJ. While it’s called a florist it is a landscaping/plant/flower kind of nursery. It’s family owned — so I think it does close on Sunday though. Can’t tell you anything about pricing.

    2. Try a farmers market or neighborhood hardware store. Rittenhouse Hardware has flowers, but probably a small selection at this point in the season. My parents often get flowers/plants at Gentile’s in Newtown Square or Produce Junction.

      1. thanks- we normally shop at 10th Street Hardware in Wash West, but we need a bigger variety for our deck, and more options for pots, planters, etc.

    3. Check out Urban Jungle in South Philly if you’re looking for more unique/tropical plants. If you have a car, there are some great nurseries in Delaware County – Miller Greenhouses in Nether Providence and Wedgewood Gardens in Glen Mills are both excellent. They are more reasonably priced than Terrain, and their staff is knowledgeable.

    4. Platt’s in Clarksboro (south Jersey). It’s about 20 minutes or so from Center City. I’ve gotten my flowers there for years. They have a great selection and are very reasonably priced.

      I also second Produce Junction

    5. Haines Farm & Garden Supply on 130 in Cinnamon, NJ. Take 95 to Betsy Ross to 130 N. You’ll be there in 20-25 minutes.

  15. When you say she wants to be part of your family, does she mean seeing you intermittently or something more, like developing a closeness preparatory to moving in? Also, is she primarily interested in a relationship with you, or with your nuclear family as well? I think if she’s mostly just interested in a relationship with you, you could start with some one-on-one outings and just keep it that way. (I take it she is not stable enough to be informed that her behavior is still bad enough such that she can’t be around your husband and baby.)

  16. My SIL is in her 50s and obesity/COPD making it hard for her to get around. She hasn’t worked in a decade and lives with my MIL, being the person who’d call my husband if something should happen to MIL and being a second set of eyes/ears at dr appointments.

    MIL’s arthritis is making it hard for her to go up/down steps (to get to bedrooms and bathroom and deal with laundry), so it is either getting to be time to move them into a ranch house or apartment with no stairs or assisted living. MIL has benefits / $ to make either an option, but SIL has no finances and can only come along to another house / apartment. [We have offered to send recommended housekeepers over to at least help with that, but they don’t want them.]

    Has anyone else had these sorts of codependent relatives where one has to go to a new home / housing situation and the other person then becomes trapped / frightened?

    We live far away and they don’t want to leave their home area where there are other relatives (and the other relatives aren’t in a position to take either or both of them in). We could find a 2BR apartment for them in our city, but they don’t want to leave their area.

    Should SIL look to getting on disability / medicaid / etc. so that may help out with access to housing / deeming her to be indigent enough to get on waitlists? She’s not quite an elderlaw case but maybe an elderlaw atty has seen this where you have two people to house with different needs?

    1. Consider a geriatric care consultant. I have a client with a similar mom/daughter situation; while my firm can assist with the legal issues, the consultant was very helpful with evaluating condition, recommending housing alternatives, recommending programs for both mom and daughter (including a VA program available because of mom’s deceased spouse that gives 10 hours of home care per week at no cost, another program that effectively pays daughter something more than minimum wage to give mom care for 30 hours a week, meals on wheels for mom, and medicaid for daughter), and then getting all of the information and applications together and processed for both mother and daughter,

      We found the consultant (who is an RN and formerly owned her own home care agency) through a local company that does home medical care/financial care/personal care. She has been a treasure!

    3. Sounds like SIL might qualify for SSDI. I think I read recently that the magic number of times you need to apply is 3. So it won’t be instant. There are attorneys who specialize in getting people qualified.

      Tough situation. I would try everything to house them together. Replacing full time care of a relative with paid care is really, really expensive, and you may not realize right now how much easier your life is because SIL is there with MIL.

      My mom recently had to move to a nursing home (also COPD, too high medical needs for assisted living) and that is a choice you want to put off as long as possible.

      1. Thanks!

        The SIL is more providing companionship for my MIL. MIL is in better shape than my SIL — the arthritis / replacement hips are her only real issues (and then mainly with stairs). But they’ve become a package deal at this point, and MIL doesn’t want to abandon a child she sees as needing help and protection.

        Their nature is just to wait until someone has to go to the ER, which was recently for SIL, and at that point we jumped on a plane and realized that the house was starting to look both hoarded and dirty (which I get — neither is in a position to run around with a vacuum or get down and scrub a bathroom).

        Now we’re starting to encourage SIL to apply for charity care so as not to put more burdens on MIL, but they are very defensive and private. SIL is very embarassed.

        1. If there truly is hoarding taking place, getting your SIL to move out is going to be very, very difficult. From the details you’ve shared, MIL seems like she’s enabling or at least very protective of her DIL, so I don’t know that you’ll be able to change much here.

          They’re still adults even if you don’t like how this is playing out and feel it’s not the optimal situation for either of them. I’m really sorry, because I know how hard it is to watch relatives engage in unhealthy behavior. You can’t fix this for them, and I don’t think it would be good for either of them to move away from their social network.

          I agree with previous commenters that you should speak with an elder care social worker, encourage SIL to apply for SSDI, and do what you can from where you are to make that process as accessible to her as possible. Good luck!

  17. Did you all see that video of Trump shoving the prime minister aside so he could be in front?

    It’s so embarrassing to be an American sometimes.

    1. Sometimes? There hasn’t been a day since Nov. 9 that I haven’t been embarrassed to be an American.

    2. That combined with the Montana body slam makes me ashamed to be an American. I don’t even know where I live any more. The entire political situation has me really depressed.

      1. I live in Berkeley, which used to feel like a bubble, but now they’re sending in armed pro-trump supporters, and then anti-fa shows up to fight with them…. meanwhile the real Berkeleyans are set up in booths on the sidelines advertising “non violent conflict resolution” and “free hugs”

        I miss my bubble.

    3. I just can’t comprehend it all. Has a large percentage of the country lost their minds? Is he striving to prove that when he said he ‘could shoot someone in the middle of the street and wouldn’t lose a supporter’ is absolutely true? I’m angry and baffled.

      1. “Has a large percentage of the country lost their minds?” Basically, yes.

        But there is some evidence that his base is decreasing. His approval ratings have been dropping slowly but steadily, but in the last few weeks there has been a big drop in “strong approval” which is what really reflects his base. I think the polls show it going from ~30% to ~20%.

        1. Yeah. I read the Fox News website just to stay in touch and they had a big headline yesterday (I think) about “Trump poll numbers down/people want Russia probe” and similar.

          1. Yeah, I too check Fox News daily to see what the Rs are saying and I feel like they have really turned on Trump since the Comey memo. In the last couple of weeks, there have been many negative headlines about him, his poll numbers, stuff with Russia, chaos and mutiny among his staff, etc. In the last few weeks their headlines don’t look all that different than CNN whereas I think around the time of the election and the inauguration they were extremely different. That’s encouraging to me because basically half the country treats Fox News as the gospel.

      2. The little silver lining I look to when reminded of this craziness is that his approval rating continues to hover at around 40%!! and technically only 25% of the country voted for him!! Not a large percentage of the country necessarily!

        1. Seriously? He shoved a world leader and looked like a petulant child about it and his approval rating is 40%? How is this good news? How can anyone think shoving a world leader is okay? Like has physical contact between world leaders occurred like that ever since world leader stopped meaning ‘king who is leading the army attack on other side’s soldiers’?

          1. None of this is okay. Where in my comment did I say that? I’m just noting that the majority of the country still disapproves of him, which is the tiny silver lining I look to in terms of dealing with this insane presidency. This is going to be a long journey with this administration until he resigns or is impeached (it took 3 years for Nixon to be impeached after they had stone hard evidence, none of which we have on Trump YET).

            Channel your justified anger elsewhere please.

          2. I dunno, personally I’m much more worried about him leaking classified info to Russia and basically threatening North Korea with nuclear war than I am about him giving someone a little push. I strongly dislike Trump but I wouldn’t say this really lowered my opinion of him (given that he, you know, bragged about s*xually assaulting women long before this). So I can understand why those who like him wouldn’t change their opinion based on this incident. On the scale of “horrible things Trump has done” I feel like this is maybe a 2 or 3 out of 10?

          3. Yes but I think the issue is the other things you mention are, at least in the eyes of the base, up for debate about whether they happened. This happened on the world stage in broad daylight and his base not only didn’t bat an eye, they loved it. You should see some of the reactions on Facebook! Like “Yeah! America first! Get out of the way!”

            It’s appalling!

    4. I dreamed of coming to this country since I was a little girl. I fled a country with extreme human rights problems as a tween, and the only place I could get to and get asylum was Russia. I stayed there for nearly a decade. I eventually made it to western Europe and now the US, and I finally became an LPR less than two weeks before the election. I came to America during the Bush administration, and thought that was terrible but then came Obama. I thought the country was going in the right directions, and was so proud to be on my road to being a naturalized citizen. On November 9, I felt like a rug was pulled out from underneath me.

  18. I’ve been reading the working mom posts (not a mom, just curious) because I’m trying to find more time in my day. I’m a senior associate in big law. I’m struggling with my weight and just need to find time to get more exercise I think. This is my current average day – any thoughts on what I can do differently to fit it in?

    6:30am — wake up (if riding bike to work otherwise its more like 7am)(Try to ride bike as long as I don’t expect to work after 9pm or weather is not too bad and I’ve gotten at least 6 hours of sleep. If i don’t ride bike I work late typically 10pm – 12 or so.)
    6:30-6:40 — dress, brush teeth, take allergy medicine
    6:40 -7:20 — walk dog, feed dog and cats, scoop litter
    7:20-7:50 — bike to work
    7:50 — 8:20/8:30 — get ready at work (shower, do hair) inevitably end up chatting to co worker or someone along the way), get coffee and get breakfast (usually instant oatmeal or a yogurt / fruit)
    8:30am – 7:30pm — work — I take about a 30 min lunch and typically 2-3 10 minute breaks during the day
    7:30-7:45pm — change back into bike clothes and get bike out of garage
    7:45-8:20pm — ride bike home
    8:20-9pm — cook dinner /eat or heat something up I made over the weekend/ do dishes
    9pm-9:15 — If it was hot and I got sweaty on the ride take a quick shower
    9:15pm – 10:15pm — some combination of talk to husband / play with pets/ do random chores around the house like pick up pet toys, tidy, sort mail, run vacuum (we have a cleaning service but sometimes pets are messy) or watch a tv show, respond to personal emails, or if I get unlucky respond to work emails
    10:15-10:45/Get ready for bed, read a few pages in my book, sleep!

    1. Well, you are working 11 hour days, except for when you work longer than that. I’m not surprised that you can’t find more time to exercise. The 1/2 hour bike ride each way sounds like a really good amount of exercise.

      My guess is that the combo of buying takeout lunch and eating your dinner late at night is putting on weight. Do you drink calories? Try switching to sparkling water if so.

      1. This, plus weight loss is really driven by diet more than exercise. It’s very hard to out-exercise a bad diet. But OP, your schedule already sounds so packed! I hope you don’t stress yourself out too much trying to fit more in.

    2. Sounds like you’re already getting a good amount of exercise in biking to work. In my experience, weight loss has always been more about diet than exercise, unfortunately. I can’t imagine having your schedule, let alone squeezing anything more into it!

    3. agree it’s a full day & it may be hard to find additional time, and that the bike ride does give you some quality exercise potentially. Maybe focus on some meal prep to improve food quality, or planning out what you’re eating a little more, if weight loss is your goal?

      To answer the question you actually asked – :) – what about an at-home 30-minute workout right at 6 a.m. a few days a week? You may have to adjust your bedtime a little to go to bed closer to 10:15-30, but that’d still give you 7+ hours of sleep a night.

    4. You’re already biking an hour each day. That should be plenty.

      I would take a look at what you are eating. For yoghurt I like activita 0% but non-fat or low fat unsweetened greek yoghurt is a good choice. Many yoghurts are full of sugar. Use plain oatmeal instead of the packets. A half cup dry is one serving.

      Simple changes like drinking water instead of juice or soda and filling half your plate with veggies at meal time can make a big difference. Use 8inch dessert plates to serve your dinner meal and watch your portion sizes – use a cup scoop so you scoop only one cup of pasta instead of two.

    5. Well, the good news is you sound super disciplined. Do you have a gym at work? If so, maybe sneak down there to lift weights for 20 minutes a few times a week? Seconded that the best way to address this is probably to take a look at your lunch and dinner, because given your time constraints, it seems unrealistic to embark on a major exercise program. I’m in biglaw and I used to order from Seamless every night but have taken to walking down to the Sweetgreen on the corner, which has helped me feel a lot healthier!

    6. You’re packing a lot into your day and the fact that you’re riding your bike is great! You could squeeze a walk into one of your breaks, but I think it’s perfectly legit if you don’t want to give those up.

      I think your lifestyle isn’t helping matters. IME, stress, and falling short on sleep, will make you gain weight even if everything else is OK. I just think it’s insane that an 11-hour workday is considered normal because it does make it darn near impossible to take care of yourself.

    7. If you are regularly able to get in bed by 10:30 or so, you could conceivably get up at 6 and work out at home for half an hour – that is what I do, using fitnessblender.com’s 30 min workouts. I am exhausted by Friday though, and I do not ride my bike to work. But you are already getting decent exercise. Honestly for me weight loss is about cutting calories – when I exercise more, I tend to eat more unless i am really keeping track.

    8. I think adding even 15 minutes twice a week of weight lifting will really help you. It seems like you get plenty of cardio. When I do short heavy sets I see results pretty quickly (and get a metabolism boost as well).

    9. For two weeks try: (1) limiting carbs/sugars (look into more full fat foods and proteins and not packaged stuff) if you know you are eating appropriate portion sizes don’t worry about counting calories so much and focus on stopping when you feel full, (2) sleeping more, even if it means you don’t bike in the morning, (3) lifting weights 2x a week, and (4) drinking more water. I bet you feel more energy and likely see physical results.

    10. I don’t think I drink my calories. I have one coffee in the morning with whole milk and 2 sugars and then I pretty much only drink water or herbal tea at work. At night I have the occasional glass of wine and on the weekends I might have a soda but I doubt I have 4 sodas in a month.

      I think I eat reasonably well. Oatmeal/fruit or yogurt/fruit with is already the 0% fat kind for breakfast. At lunch I usually go to the cafeteria at work and get soup and a thing of vegetables or fruit and maybe a piece of bread or the hot option if it looks appealing (which is definitely a lot of food). Dinner varies and is probably light on vegetables and involves dessert. I do have a sweet tooth so I guess I’ll have to work on that, which is sad because its totally my favorite thing of the day. I am generally pretty hungry too so perhaps I’m simply eating too much. Something has to give because I’m only 5’3 and weigh nearly 180 lbs and have gained around 40 lbs in my several years in BigLaw. (Oh and I’ve seen the doctor and there is no medical reason I can’t seem to lose weight).

      Does anyone have any dietitian recommendations for DC?

      Is there a good resource to learn how to lift weights? I don’t know anything about lifting weights?

      1. Try writing down every single you eat for a week. It will help you see patterns that you might not be noticing now. If your yoghurt is 0% but has lots of sugar or is sweetened (it can be really hard to find plain that is unsweetened), and your oatmeal is flavoured or more than a 1/2 cup dry, that can add up. Try assuaging your sweet tooth with fruit. Cherry tomatoes, clementines and frozen grapes are good options. Try dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate if that’s your weakness.

      2. Re: lifting weights, any of the books by Rachael Cosgrove are great and appropriate for novice lifters. I also like The New Rules of Lifting for Women.

      3. Since you have money but not time for the exercise thing, maybe hire a trainer for a couple sessions to teach you efficient weight lifting exercises you can keep up? I mostly learned my routine from going to bootcamp-type classes (which are another option if you want to try those early in the morning a few times a week).

      4. Your diet looks light on protein and healthy fats. Try replacing your 0% yogurt to plain greek yogurt with fruit. You can also add avocado to your salads. It may seem counterintuitive but I lose more weight when I eat more healthy fats. Eating a more filling salad at lunch keeps me more satisfied and less likely to devour all the bread at dinner.

        2. +1

          Two comments stood out to me: that your breakfast is 0% fat and that you’re hungry all the time. You’re hungry because you don’t eat fat. Eat fat.

          If you’re just getting into strength training, I would recommend the Bodyweight Fitness App, available for free on Android and iTunes. It doesn’t take that long to run through the exercises, and it has different difficulty levels and gifs to demonstrate each one for each exercise. I think it’s a good, non-scary intro to strength training and you can see real gains doing it.

      5. I actually wonder if, given your schedule, body weight exercises at home might work better. Think: push ups, squats holding a barbell, etc. I love lifting weights but can’t fit it in to my life right now.

      6. I could’ve written this post. Generally healthy eating habits with a couple of not-that-bad splurges (for you, dessert, for me, wine). When you’re short those little splurges really add up. There’s basically zero wiggle room in my diet if I’m trying to lose weight. It’s exhausting and frustrating. Lifting has helped me to maintain my weight and to feel better about my body but I haven’t really lost weight.

        Anecdotally, and I have no clue if there’s real science behind this, I find that I’m able to eat more carbs without gaining weight if I consume carbs only when I’m active and avoid them when I’m sedentary. For example, I can have pasta for lunch with no ill effects on my weight, but if I have pasta for dinner then I gain. Same calories in/out.

        1. Sorry I meant to include an actual suggestion – Maybe try eating your dessert when you’ve just gotten off the bike, either in the morning or as soon as you get home. Have protein, fats, and low-carb veggies for dinner (for me, carrots and homemade hummus for dinner is not conducive to weight loss even though they’re “healthy”).

          1. +1 re: when you’re short it all adds up. I’m short and find I also have no wiggle room. It’s exhausting and frustrating!

      7. Sugar is my downfall, and I always seem to make progress when I cut down on it. 0% yogurt is also hard for me because there is no fat to balance out the sugar. I do better with more protein in the morning (eggs, etc.), a hard focus on increasing my veggie and water consumption (not fruit, again with the sugar), and really taking a hard look at everything that contains sugar. Like ketchup!! So ridiculous that ketchup has sugar.

        Also, depending on how fast you bike, steady cardio might not be helping you on the weight loss. Possibly look at more high intensity workouts or weight lifting. E.g., I now take a 5:30 am bootcamp class, but then I drive to work. Just some thoughts as to what has helped me, personally.

      9. I am a little bit shorter then you and also weighed 180 pounds after a few years working as a lawyer. What worked for me was to write down everything I ate and count calories for a couple of weeks. After that I figured out what portion sizes actually should be for me and also figured out some weird things about how my body reacts to certain foods. Once you figure out your calorie goal, you can fit dessert and wine into it. I learned I was eating WAY too much. It took a minute to adjust, but eventually I was satisfied even eating less that I was used to. I used to eat the same portions as my 6ft tall, muscular husband who has a much more active job than I do. I simply don’t need that much food! I lost 40 pounds fairly quickly and am now fighting with the last 20. But I know I need to just tighten up my diet and get back to the weight training. I really like Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred videos. It is quick but a good workout that includes strength.

  19. I realized over the last week that I am nervous my one-year review is coming at an inconvenient time. My start-date was June 15th, so I have a few weeks, and I could use advice on how to maximize that window.

    I’ve had 2 care-giving situations which meant out of town trips (I made appropriate PTO requests) and less flexibility to stay late than usual. That’s generally acceptable in our office but a few times I’ve had to say, “Sorry, I can’t reschedule that meeting because I have to be home to administer meds.”

    My bosses are both aware of what’s up–it’s nothing catastrophic, just stuff that’s going on in my life. But I know I’m not at my best. Still working hard, but I can’t seem to make any brilliant leaps of insight in the problem solving/creative aspects of my job. I’m functioning at an A-1 tech level, but I should be an analyst.

    I know I can’t make any real changes to their opinions in a short time, but advice on how to show I’m still worth investing in?

  20. I have a weird problem- I’ve been really gassy recently, and it’s more, odorous than usual. I’ve been trying to eat healthier, so more veggies, and I’ve started having yogurt, instead of coffee for breakfast, maybe that’s the reason? My office smells terrible right now, I’m mortified

    1. A sudden uptick in fiber and probiotics can do a number on your stomach. Maybe do some limited food days to see what worsens the problem. i.e. drop the yogurt for 3 days to see if that changes, or no legumes for 3 days.

    2. I would drop the yogurt for a couple of days. Are you eating more cruciferous veggies or beans as well? Those are things you may have to ease into.

    3. Totally agree that sudden dietary changes can cause this, and it can sometimes improve as things adjust.

      Agree with trying to pinpoint the cause, but simplifying diet for a few weeks and adding in one thing at a time.

      And I know people (relatives) who swear by Beano. Try taking with the foods that cause you gas – it is a natural enzyme that helps break up the molecule in the food that often contributes ultimately to the gas.

      And you should also have a bottle of Devrom around in your office for the bad days (!). Check amazon.

    4. Maybe you’re now lactose intolerant. That can arise in adults in their 20s and 30s. Switch to a lactose-free yogurt (Green Valley) or a non-milk yogurt and see if that changes things.

    5. Drink more water. If you’re eating beans, make sure to rinse them well before eating.

    7. It sounds like your new diet is the reason. More (and potentially new) veggies in your diet and a yoghurt may be a “shock” for your digestion. I would give your digestion more time to adjust.
      I would try elimination diet to better understand what is driving your problems.
      Adding a yoghurt might have triggered lactose intolerance (in case you only started eating yoghurts now). I have found out by trial & error that white Greek yoghurts (especially if made from goat or sheep milk) are fine for me. Any other variant is an issue.
      Apart from cruciferous vegetables and pulses, it could be trigger by eating more eggs (sulphuric odour).
      From pulses, I have hard time adjusting to chickpease. Surprisingly, beans and other veg is fine.
      Do not get discouraged, figure it out over the weekend and it will be fine ;)

    8. Eating certain vegetables raw (e.g., broccoli) gives me really stinky gas. Period. So I either only eat them when I won’t be around others or I only eat cooked vegetables. Been that way for years.

    9. I was having terrible, terrible problems with gas and also with what felt like acid reflux, to the point where I thought I had gastritis. I had been eating yogurt every day, sometimes twice a day, for months. When I went to my doctor, he advised me to stop the yogurt for a few days and see how I felt. Presto. That was it. I went back to normal within a month. I limit yogurt to once a week now. My doctor says everyone’s GI system is different, but if you eat a lot of aged cheese, fresh fruit and raw greens (and I do), there are already lots of bacteria kicking around in your gut and eating a lot of yogurt may upset the balance. I’d cut back the yogurt to a couple times a week and see if that helps.

  21. To anyone still following the Trump trip — what’s happening in Sicily today/tomorrow? I know Brussels was NATO and the speech given to shame other countries to pay more and shoving aside the Montenegro PM to get to the front of the group. Now he’s in Italy again — and yet it seems to be with Teresa May and company still. Is this somehow a continuation of NATO or some other event that world leaders attend so that’s why the same group moved from one country to the next?

      1. Who will he shove? What gaffe will he make? I cringe. Trump on the world stage representing us… me…. this can’t be real.

  22. Just checking – “my cat was purring on my lap and I didn’t want to disturb him” is not a legit excuse for being late for work, right?

    TGIF

    3. What? That is totally a legit excuse to be late for anything! There’s a really great comic about this that I will link to in a reply.

  23. Hillary is speaking at Wellesley commencement. Wow. Started off so witty and engaging. Then threw major shade at DJT. And now onto the more traditional graduation message — though very much about freedom, knowledge etc.

    3. OP here –I’m not even a huge fan (I mean I like her just fine but am not obsessed with her every move) and still I thought that was a great speech. So substantive, while still being engaging and not sounding bitter.

    4. Oh wow! I saw her speak as a 13 year old at the 2000(?) commencement, as well.

  24. I like the outfit idea. I would pair it with a good brown leather bag like the MK Selma luggage bag or the Von Baer Business City Laptop Bag that is just as good as the MK for less.

  25. I know I’m late to the thread this morning (afternoon!) but I have a hiring question that comes from a disagreement with some consulting partners. They feel strongly that candidates are better if they have local ties and mark down those that are coming from outside the immediate geographic area – this is unrelated to interview costs or logistics, they simply feel that someone with “skin in the game” in terms of local family connections will be less likely to leave. The position in question is a new grad hire where technical capability is paramount and the firm and industry turnover (consulting but not financial) is high already. I do not see the basis for this at all – if you’re going to leave, having ties to the area isn’t going to be enough to keep you, we’re far from the only game in town anyway. This also is interfering with team diversity in terms of education and past experiences. (Furthermore, since this is an entry level hire, there’s no expectation or even likelihood that local relationships would or could exist in a helpful manner)

    Does anyone have any data on this? I have seen exit data showing why people do leave similar places (but not sure HOW similar) where this wasn’t indicated as a factor at all and I kind of think it’s particularly absurd.

    1. This is pretty common. Lots of regional firms won’t give you a serious look unless you have a connection to the city or a location specific reason you’re moving there/want to practice there.

      1. This isn’t for law, though – it’s for right out of college hires. We are not a regional firm. This isn’t a factor for new hires in any of our other locations (I have discussed with colleagues there) and they can’t understand why it’s happening at our office.

      2. Also – I understand reasons to focus on local candidates for jobs where relocation isn’t an option and so on, but I’m interested in data that shows if this is a real concern or just a practice with no basis behind it. My gut and some experience tell me that for this type of hire isn’t impacted in terms of retention by that factor, but I don’t have hard data.

    2. This is very common in law, especially outside of New York City. Even firms/offices in other major cities like Chicago, SF or DC prefer applicants with local ties.

    3. I am not aware of any such data, but think it would be interesting to see. Particularly in secondary cities, I think it is very common to want someone with local ties because there is a sense that the person will stay longer, more likely to accept offer, etc. I think candidates can overcome that, but they have to be able to explain why they want to live in that locations so people don’t think they are solely taken the offer to have a job and will have one foot out the door the whole time looking for something in their desired locaiton

      1. This is my problem: it’s a sense that others share but with zero data on it. It may well be a total myth. Quite frankly once you’ve moved to a new city, you’re much more familiar with the strain and cost of moving, and in my personal experience, they create retention pressure. If you’re already there, it’s not the same commitment.

    4. It seems to me this depends on the market. If you’re talking about a small/not widely desirable area like Tulsa, then yes, local candidates makes sense. If you’re talking about a city like San Francisco or Boston…lots of people want to move to those cities for lots of reasons having nothing to do with family or other connections. Limiting yourself to local candidates there would not make sense.

    5. No data, but does your city have net immigration of young people? You could sell it to your bosses by saying that young people come to your city, and stay, because of all the opportunities and fun stuff.

      1. We do in the tech sector but not as​ much overall. What frustrates me is my firm has such terrible entry level retention that going out of our way to choose a poorly qualified candidate who will leave in a couple years anyway is pretty useless, especially as our pay isn’t competitive with industry.

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