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Updated: Nov 27, 2023 143 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Diamond & Gold Four-Row Antifer Ring

Coffee Break |

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Repossi Lilac Antifer Ring

I was shopping this past weekend and saw several pieces from Repossi‘s lilac rhodium plated collection.

The pieces look so different — but subtly so — that they blew my mind. They have a much less expensive, simple huggie in the line that I can't find anywhere online — but this gorgeous diamond ring gives you an idea (and, hey, if you're looking to treat yourself…).

Lilac rhodium ring

Gorgeous. The diamond ring is $14,340 at Barneys. Repossi Lilac Antifer Ring

Psst: looking for more jewelry for work? These are some of our latest favorites…

Hunting for great jewelry for the office? As of 2024, we're long been fans of affordable brands like Mejuri and Jenny Bird, as well as mid-tier brands like Monica Vinader, David Yurman (especially this line), Dana Rebecca, and Stephen Dweck. For our $.02: spend money on things like a good watch (or watch strap), gold or diamond earrings, a pearl necklace, and more. Some of the earrings we've featured recently:

gold beaded hoop earrings
Mejuri
14k gold hoop huggie earrings
Bony Levy
diamond dangle earrings
Monica Vinader
pearl drop earrings with
Lagos

And some of the necklaces:

delicate 14k gold necklace with tiny pink enamel details
Bony Levy
necklace with pink stones
Monica Vinader
gold plated necklace with double chain detail
Cuyana
green pendant
Kendra Scott

(L-all)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Excel Geek

    How do I teach grammar to someone? I have a financial analyst who reports to me whose grammar is atrocious. He is not an unitelligent guy and he wants to learn more, do more. Are there resources I can point him to? I would really like to help him, because I think good, clear writing is essential to his career. I am just not sure the best way to help him!

    • tesyaa

      Someone on my team cannot internalize the difference between “effect” and “affect”, even though I’ve reminded him a couple of times. He also tends to write sentences that are much too wordy. I’ve casually suggested a business writing course (at company expense), but I think he thinks he writes well. Writing’s not a huge part of his job, though, so I haven’t pushed too hard.

      • Latin should be mandatory

        The thing that helped my English grammar the most was taking Latin. Probably not helpful. In addition to any course he might take, I like:

        Eats, Shoots, and Leaves (for grammar)
        Which Word When (for the than/then, effect/affect issues).

        Strunk & White is a classic, but I don’t find it that helpful.

      • Brit

        The way I always remember it is that “effect” pairs with cause and effect, which creates an (e)vent.

        • NYNY

          Seriously. I can’t tell you how many times I rewrite the sentence because both versions (effect/affect) seem wrong.

          • Meg Murry

            Yes, I usually start to doubt myself and then just use a different word instead.

          • Blonde Lawyer

            Meg Murry, I do the same. When I learned the psychological definition of affect I started thinking I had been using it wrong all those years so then I switched to effect instead across the board which was very wrong. It was a hard habit to get back out of.

      • pickle

        I had a difficult time with that v. which. I had to look it up on “Grammar Girl” for years.

    • Niktaw

      Have you told him about his bad grammar? Asked him to spell-and grammar-check his work before sending it in? Sometimes people just don’t take the time to do this because they either do not care or haven’t been told that this is a required step in preparing a deliverable.
      A fin analyst should have a modicum of attention to detail, so you may want to start with this. As for resources – I like Grammar Girl, but Google also found “Daily Grammar Lessons”, which might also be useful.

    • Anon

      I agree that I learned more grammar taking Latin than just about anywhere else. However, in middle school, they made us go through an old-school grammar book where we had to memorize the prepositions, diagram sentences, etc. and that was amazing. I think it was Warriner’s?

    • english-major parents

      I’m just astounded at the writing that people are writing these days. Blog posts (NEWS blog posts/alerts/releases) that have terrible grammar.

      My parents were both english majors, and they both worked in journalism/editing. My mother still edits for a newspaper, and my father teaches journalism workshops in community colleges & high schools.

      My “bible” for grammar was always Writers Inc. I don’t know if it is still an accepted manual or not, but that’s what I used to write in high school & college (10- and 20-years ago).

      Writing technical & analytic reports is most of my job. Part of what I do is simply read stuff out loud. I work through drafts, print, read out loud, and edit with a red pen. It really does make a difference to read/write rather than try to do all the editing on a computer screen. Now, when I have complex cut/paste/structure work to do, I usually will do that in the soft document.

    • NYNY

      Thought – is he a numbers guy who doesn’t understand the value of narrative? I see that a lot. If your organization has a training program, maybe you can send him to a class or two on “communicating effectively” or some such?

    • Excel Geek

      Thanks everyone! He knows it’s something he needs to work on and is actively trying to improve. I try to give him more writing assignments in order to give him more space to practice, but he would agree it’s a weakness. I will talk to my boss to see if a class is in the budget. I’m sure this guy isn’t the only one who would benefit.

  2. Zelda

    That’s a gorgeous ring, but I’d never pay that much for something that is probably trendy and difficult to maintain (where do you find someone to re-dip lilac gold???)

  3. Ellen

    Yay! Coffee Break! and OMG Kat, I wish I had a husband who can afford to give me this dimond RING! OMG! Where is my prince? I do not have $14K for this ring, but maybe a guy like Ivanka’s in laws have a guy that would MARRY me and give me this ring! I swear I would NEVER take it off.

    Rosa has interrogated ED, and he confessed to having done bad with a cute stripper, tho it did NOT involve anything below HER belt. So I know what it was and I think the hive doe’s to, without me having to go into sordid detail. Why a guy needed another woman to do that when Rosa does that anyway is unbelieveable. Rosa says she alway’s accomodate’s Ed that way and he enjoy’s it so why did he need to have someone else do that in front of all those people from his company? He surely was drunk, Rosa said, but I think Ed has to get back all the picture’s people took of them with their iphones. FOOEY! The last thing Rosa needs is to find out there’s a picture of Ed up on Facebook with this woman’s face with Ed’s winkie. Rosa would NEVER live this down. Ed is contacting all of his freind’s to get them to destroy their picture’s and he needs them to certify to him they have doen so. OMG, how much easier it must have been before iphone’s and the INTERNET. For all we know, his picture could have been broadcasted across the globe by now. DOUBLE FOOEY. Hoepefully, if there are picture’s, his face is NOT visible. He would then realy be in trouble. TRIPEL FOOEY!

    I should show Rosa this ring, b/c Ed would surely get off cheep by buying this for her, but I think the steak’s are now a lot higher! YAY!!!!!

    • Anon for this

      I haven’t followed the story – but people would be beyond stupid to take pictures of others in that state of activity without their consent. It would be interesting if Ed discussed Revenge Porn laws with those who were so thoughtless. The Vanderbilt case – and most divorces – suggest that internet & tech are not the wild west…they are a ticking bomb for recording intimate behavior when people are intoxicated, or not.

  4. anon

    I will soon be starting on a work assignment to work out of an office in another city for 3-4 months. The other city is a 4-hour train ride away, so I will come home on weekends. Any tips for how to manage this? I just got engaged, too, so I feel like I’m abandoning my fiance a bit.

    • Clementine

      Please don’t see/think of this as you ‘abandoning’ your fiance.

      From the other side, my husband has a job where he’s away 50% of the year for 2-3 month stretches at a time. He’s not able to come home on weekends and pretty commonly is out of cellphone and decent internet range. It’s okay. It will be okay. You have a strong relationship and will be fine.

      I highly suggest doing the following:

      -Make sure you stay in touch with friends, especially on the weekends, and do ‘normal’ stuff so the weekends don’t feel just like ‘vacation’. Go grocery shopping, clean your apartment, go to the gym and do other normal stuff.
      -Is it an option for the two of you to rotate who comes to visit every weekend? That might make it feel more ‘at home’ in your work city.
      – During the day, send him fun/interesting/funny emails or texts. It helps a lot. Sending little photos of simple stuff like the dog or his breakfast makes you feel more connected.
      – Don’t feel guilty or strange if you enjoy the alone time. At first, I felt like I was somehow betraying our relationship that I liked the time I spent alone, but now I realize it makes me appreciate what we have.

      In the grand scheme of life, 3-4 months is very short. Best wishes for a positive experience!

    • kc

      My now-husband went across the country for 4 months a few years ago. We skyped about 2 times a week and phone calls the other days of the week. I would actually suggest you DONT have to do normal stuff on the weekends (grocery, laundry, cleaning) so that you can spend more time with your fiance and friends. He should also come visit you if you are going to a cool city with stuff to experience. You’ll make it. It can feel long, but in the grand scheme of life it feels like a blip. On the plus side, my husband got to experience an amazing part of the country and had a ton of fun. Plus with nights free he got to work out all the time.

    • Senior Attorney

      The Former Mr. Senior Attorney traveled for months at a time during our entire 15-year marriage and we got along just fine (although notsomuch when he was home LOL). We talked on the phone every night and that was a big help. One of the things we liked to do was get on the phone and watch our favorite TV shows together and chat just as though we were in the same room. It’s a little problematic if you’re in different time zones but the one at home can DVR it and play it back while the other watches it live, or you can do live sporting events, or whatever.

      Also, as Clementine says, don’t feel bad about taking time alone. Definitely don’t feel like you have to be joined at the hip when you are home. And don’t worry about going out to experience the city in which you are working. Even a quick chat or text every evening can keep you feeling connected.

  5. Anon for this

    My real name is Sara. I have a colleague who consistently misspells my name, “Sarah.” My entire first name is part of my work email address so I don’t think that spelling should be an issue.

    Is there any way that I can politely correct her spelling, or am I stuck with it? It has been more than a year, so I am worried that I am now subject to office laches.

    • Anon

      Nope. Unfortunately, there isn’t. If it was important to her, she would have noticed/self-corrected by now.

      Signed, someone who routinely double checks the spelling of a co-workers name before I email her because (1) I can’t seem to remember it but (2) it is important to me to get it right.

    • H as in hussy

      My former secretary was Sarah, WITH an h. She told us all during her first week with a big smile “Sarah, with an H as in hussy.” Never forgot it.

    • Apples

      I think you should speak up, even if she in fact does not care. That way you will feel like at least you tried to stick up for yourself. Next time you email with her, I would just put a little note at the end of your email – “By the way, I noticed you have been spelling my name “Sarah” – just wanted to let you know there is no “h.” Thanks!”

    • Senior Attorney

      I would just start correcting her and then correct her each and every time:

      “BTW, my name is Sara, not Sarah.” Repeat as necessary ad infinitum.

    • Wildkitten

      I love the use of laches here.

      I wonder if your co-worker has someone really important in their life, like a sister or a wife, named Sarah, so they aren’t being purposely thoughtless but are fighting a lifetime of training that SaraH has an H.

      • anon

        This. I have a relative with an uncommon spelling of a name and I misspell that name all the time.

        Also, if your company is like most and the name autofills, you’d be surprised how few people notice. I had a coworker whose last name I was convinced was spelled differently and it took me a year to realize it. :/

        On the other hand, I have a name that has an odd spelling that is often mispelled by those who haven’t seen it written out. I don’t ever correct people (beyond being sure to use the correct spelling in my response), and the vast majority of people don’t make the same mistake twice. So I can see why you feel like she’s being willfully ignorant

    • Original poster

      Thanks, everyone! My colleague is more senior in my workplace so I don’t think I will correct her every time, but I will try the polite approach once (with no expectations).

      • Senior Attorney

        Honestly I would try it more than once. I’m the most senior person at my job site and I would be mortified if I were doing that to a junior person’s name, and would absolutely want to be corrected as many times as it took to get it in my head.

    • Anon for this too

      I work with hundreds of people, and I want to get names right. From Cathy with a K, One L Michelle, Sean-Shawn-Shaun and Alan-Allan-Allen.

      What makes it easy is having a quick reference. Have a signature line on your email with a larger-text full name for a few months, and close your email with your first name. I don’t rely on email addresses because, frankly, I’ve been wrong in assumptions there often enough. When I get it wrong, it’s not anything personal that is specific to you, other than I got it wrong, and will do my best to get it right, and hope like the Dickens that my error doesn’t snowball.

  6. nutella

    Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Nutella Day (this is a thing apparently??) and hope everyone who enjoys this treat gets to enjoy some today! ;)

  7. YNAB experts please help

    hubs and i are just starting to use a budget with YNAB. We’re way behind the times, and we’re just now getting stuff in order. We’ve been terrible stewards of our own money, not knowing where it was going, etc.

    We don’t have a lot of debt: just mortgage, and some minor medical debt that will be paid off in the next couple of months. We’re paying off our CC this month, and we’ll snowball what was allocated for that payment to medical debt.

    Here’s the thing. I feel like I am totally swimming, and am just not getting it. I had the revelation last month (we set up YNAB about mid-month, after the bulk of our bills were paid, and we still had one paycheck coming, so it looked like were were in high cotton), when it clicked and I repeated in my head: “what does our money need to do between now and the next time we get paid”

    This is where I need the most help conceptualizing. We got paid today, and we have not yet paid any of our February bills. We really know the amounts of all of our expenditures, and we budget money for groceries–that’s the only true “fluid” expense right now. I know we need to be putting money away for various and sundry things (we don’t have any emergency savings, fun money, vacation savings, etc–we’re literally paying for our expenses and pretty much unaware of where the rest of the money goes–yes, I know this is a problem)

    I need help wrapping my head around this: we get paid every 2 weeks, at a fixed amount. I know all of our month’s expenses, regardless of their due date. We don’t have enough money with today’s paycheck to cover all of our expenses. Our next paycheck will pull up the rear towards the end of the month.

    We get paid every 2 weeks, and YNAB seems to assume a monthly budget. How do I reconcile this? Right now, YNAB is saying we’re $2000-some over budget, but we’re really not, because we haven’t yet entered in the paycheck we have yet to get in 2 weeks. Do I just delete the budgeted amounts for the things that get paid later this month (the internet, credit card, etc), and enter them in the budget as they become due/when we get the money, or does it just look like we’re in the hole, when we’re really not.

    I need a YNAB tutor/coach.

    • la vie en bleu

      i use YNAB, check out ALL of the videos and tutorials on the site. They are brilliant. Go through them one by one. I did the videos that are posted instead of the live classes, and it was just as helpful as a live class in my opinion, but you can do a live webinar if you want to ask questions. I was kind of confused, but after doing several videos, it just clicked and now I LOVE it. It makes so much more sense to me than other ways of budgeting.

    • Ginjury

      First, you shouldn’t be budgeting money you don’t have; it just causes confusion.

      I think your best bet right now is to first budget for bills that are due before your next paycheck. For example, say your next paycheck is due the 15th, now if rent and cable are due by the 5th, but electricity and insurance aren’t due until the 20th, you’d add the money your currently have to your rent and cable categories and wait to budget for electricity and insurance until the next paycheck comes in. You can then use the remaining money from this current paycheck to fund groceries, gas, etc. that you’ll need throughout the month. When your next paycheck comes in, you can also add to these categories again. Does that make sense?

      Ideally, you want a full buffer so that any money you earn in February won’t be spent until March (income for next month), but with your debt, it doesn’t sound like this is possible at the moment. I also suggest checking the blog and forums for more on living paycheck to paycheck. I know I’ve seen quite a bit about it there.

    • Anonymous

      Agree that you should watch all the videos, but something else to note is that, IIRC, YNAB’s strategy is to get you to have enough money sitting in your checking account that you CAN cover all of the next month’s expenses before you get any of that month’s income. It’s something most people who live paycheck to paycheck (by choice or because they literally make so little money that they need to) will have to work toward– myself included. But the idea is even if you have the next month’s bills set up, you should have enough in your account on Jan 31 to cover all February’s bills.

      ETA: This drove (drives) me absolutely crazy about YNAB. I really like all the money to exactly equal out at the end of the month, but that’s not the point. You should have left overs.

      • la vie en bleu

        yeah but it has made more sense to my brain to originally set it up as paycheck to paycheck and then i slowly worked toward having the buffer and being one month ahead. But it was hard to understand the buffer without first understanding one paycheck-spend-two paychecks-spend, etc.

      • TO Lawyer

        That’s an interesting strategy. I don’t use YNAB but generally, does it work to keep a buffer equal to next month’s bills in your chequing account?

        FWIW, most of my money gets transferred automatically after each paycheck and it’s just the minor bills that need to be paid but now i’m wondering if i should have more of a buffer? (I have a small buffer but usually only enough to cover a few bills, not all my monthly expenses).

        • la vie en bleu

          yes, the point of it is to help you figure out how to allocate only the money you have, help you save to get out of debt, etc, until you get to the point where you can budget one month or two paychecks (or whatever) ahead. Once you’ve gotten yourself used to that system, you can hit this one button that autofills all of your budgeting accounts each month, and then you know exactly how much you have left over to put in savings or put extra toward fun time, or whatever you want. It really has changed the way I think about budgeting and it is crazy, I love it and highly recommend trying it out. You can watch all the classes (link above) without spending the time to set up your own accounts first if you want to get an idea of how it works.

      • YNAB op

        Thanks for the tips. I thought maybe that allocating mid-month based on due dates was what we’d have to do, but it just seems counterintuitive. But, yes, it makes sense, and like anon3:32 said: it is going to be something we work toward.

        I expect it is going to take some time to get into it, and get it working for us, but at least now we are very cognizant of our spending (I even did what someone recommended and put a rubber band around my debit card so that I physically have to remove it to swipe), and we’re keeping tabs on it at least weekly.

        Thank you for your help, everyone. That’s what I love about this community.

        • Anon 332

          Even YNAB says it will take up to 6 months to get there. I like the program because it encourages long-term strategies and changes the way you think about money, spending, and saving. It’s not a “quick! Balance your checkbook!” program and it doesn’t promise immediate results. It’s a long-term thing.

    • Lyssa

      I’m paid biweekly, too, and struggled with this for a little while (using the goodbudget app). What I finally decided on is to just create a monthly “payment” to myself (on paper – well, pixels) based on my paycheck times 26 (pay periods per year) divided by 12 (months) – in other words, what do I, effectively, bring in monthly? It’s confusing, but seems to work. I completely ignore my actual paychecks or when they come in. On the first of every month, I go through and figure what bills need to be paid and schedule them in the budget (so it takes them out of the envelope on the day that they actually get paid) and divvy up the rest for liquid items. I haven’t used YNAB, but I assume that it would work similarly. I don’t include extra money (bonuses, tax returns) in the budget, and figure out what to do with that separately.

      It took a few months to get it down well, but I think that we have it pretty well figured out now (started January of last year). We were able to get the first student loan paid off last month, which was a massive relief, and we’re making progress on the next one! It makes me feel so much better to know what’s going on rather than just cash flowing and assuming that it will all work out.

      • Ginjury

        While I’m sure this is a good way to keep track of much is actually coming in and balance out those extra paychecks, this absolutely wouldn’t work in YNAB. The main premise of YNAB is to use a zero-based budget and only budget money you have (not money you’re expecting/know will come soon). Since it sounds like the OP is living paycheck to paycheck, I really don’t see how this could work well in her situation.

  8. anonymom

    Shopping challenge: Please help me find the holy grail of purses. I am looking for something all-purpose, suitable for court, casual office, and weekend mommy duty, that will go with every outfit so I never have to switch bags. I am partial to styles that are something of a cross between a tote and a hobo, with two long-ish handles that will go over my shoulder. Bonus points for something that is big enough to hold a padfolio but not so large that it overwhelms my frame (I am on the small side of average and find that really large bags look ridiculous on me). The past few bags I have carried were a light blue slouchy leather bag from Garnet Hill that is really too casual for work (current bag that I am looking to replace), a black leather bag from the Coach outlet that was ubiquitous 6-7 years ago that had large buckles at the bases of the handles and was wider than it was tall, and that black microfiber Kate Spade bag that everyone had about 12 years ago. (As you can tell, I tend to keep my bags for a VERY long time.)

    I have been considering the Rebecca Minkoff Medium MAB tote in black or possibly light blue, but it seems rather large and stiff and I have seen some reviews that make me wonder about the quality. Another possibility is this bag from Boden…

    http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Womens-Accessories/Handbags,-Clutches-Wallets/AM225-SGR/Womens-Mineral-Maida-Vale-Bag.html

    … but I am not keen on the strap and I am afraid the color is too springlike for year-round use. I would really like to find something in a nice dark gray, but have had no luck. Thoughts? Ideas?

    • Apples

      I have this one and love it. The leather is much higher quality than the price reflects, and it has what I consider the perfect size and number of pockets. I am tall and the straps still fit on/stay on my shoulder.

      http://www.ebags.com/product/tignanello/perfect-pocket-shopper/282711?productid=10331498

      Here is also its sister that has a rounder shape and convertible straps.

      http://www.ebags.com/product/tignanello/perfect-pocket-convertible-satchel/282712?productid=10331500

    • Diana Barry

      FWIW, I have heard that with the MAB totes, you can run into lemons, either that or they don’t last long, period.

      I don’t love that Boden bag since the blue seems to clash with the handle.

      Have you tried going to an outlet (Kate Spade/Coach/similar) and looking there? Or a good TJ Maxx? I get all my purses at the KS outlet.

      • Anonny

        My MAB died a bad, inexcusable death – straps ripped out after using it for work for 2 months… I wasn’t toting laptops or anything heavy, either. I have since discovered from asking around (and from this blog) that this is a recurring problem. Not all of them, but enough that I’ll never buy another.

      • anonymom

        Thanks for the info on the MAB. I did try the Coach outlet and didn’t find anything I liked. I am a little leery of the Kate Spade outlet since a bag I bought there a few years back fell apart within a couple of weeks and had to be returned. Maybe that was just a one-time thing, though. I am really hoping that there is some great brand out there in the $300-and-under price range that I just haven’t thought of yet.

        • Not a Lawyer

          I keep a nice simple Furla for formal work occasions and use the heck out of a Lonchamp pliage for daily running around, weekend kids stuff, and travel. It fits a laptop and is so, so light, which really saves my back and shoulder. (If you’re into the bucket bags, Cole Haan makes nice ones from high quality leather. I have one where the strap can be adjusted to over-the-shoulder or cross-body. They also have a lot on sale right now at their website.)

        • N.C. anon

          I bought a Coach bag that looks a great deal like the linked Boden bag last July when they were clearing out spring inventory for ~$225. They have a few that are similar in style with a little bit blingier buckle, the Large Scout Hobo. It’s full price now, but may be worth waiting for. It’s my first non-bucket 1 bag, so I was pleasantly surprised to learn it came with a lifetime warranty.

        • Anon

          I don’t know if they’ll have bags that fit your needs, but I carry a Radley bag (UK brand) and 2-3 years later, it still looks great (even the lining) – and I abuse this purse. The purse was medium sized and about $160 full price. Plus it comes with a Scotty logo!

      • AnonLawMom

        I had a Rebecca Minkoff bag that also died before it’s time. Will never purchase again.

    • Anon

      Maybe it’s uncool, but my Michael Kors jet set purse has really gone the distance.

      • Petunia

        I love my MK Jet Set tote and basically consider it my briefcase. Don’t tell me it’s not cool anymore!!

    • Chi Squared

      MZ Wallace Kate. I use it as my work bag on weekdays, and then swap my laptop out for a diaper clutch, sippy cup, etc. on weekends. My wristlet wallet stays in it all the time. I love not having to switch all my stuff between bags (and not needing everything in duplicate). If the Kate is too big, there is a smaller size in the same style, I think it’s called the Jane.

    • Anonymous

      What about the J. Crew Brompton Hobo? I don’t think J. Crew sells them anymore, but you can find them on eBay, I think.

      Or the Bienniel Hobo. I love both of those bags.

    • M2

      I love my Michael Kors Selma. It is big enough to hold a notepad/small file, but still a reasonable size for everyday use.

  9. Anonymous

    This is probably a really stupid question but I’m a nervous and paranoid new dog owner – how do you handle the cleaning of your dog’s food and water bowls and the utensils used to store & serve their food? All the websites I’ve seen, including the CDC, say not to wash these things in the kitchen sink or even in your bathroom sink, but we live in a small apartment and those are the only sinks we have. Our kitchen sink frequently has dishes in it, but our dog eats in the kitchen and carrying the dirty stuff across our apartment to the bathroom doesn’t seem terribly sanitary either (plus our toiletries are right there next to the bathroom sink). We are serving canned food (at our vet’s recommendation) but she doesn’t eat a whole can a day so we need to keep the rest in a tupperware and it needs to be refrigerated, so we have to periodically clean the container, as well as cleaning the spoon we use to scoop it twice a day, and then we also have to regularly clean her food & water bowls. What do people do about this?

    • Anon 332

      Gosh I use the dishwasher, with my dishes in the same load… I’m sure the CDC would hate me.

      • AnonInfinity

        Same here! It never occurred to me that this would be a problem. Why is it a problem?

        If I had to handwash, I’d handwash in the sink but probably with a different washcloth than the people dishes.

      • KS IT Chick

        Ditto that… I try to remember to rinse out the cat’s bowl before dropping it in the dishwasher, but that’s about as far as I go on it. The dry food dispenser gets washed out in the bathtub, but that’s just because it won’t fit in the dishwasher.

        If I haven’t caught anything from the cat so far (7 years), I doubt I will.

      • Alice

        Yup. Same here. Also, I wash my dog’s bowls about the same frequency as I deep clean my apartment…every 2 weeks. We are both totally healthy and happy! (even if one of us is a slightly neurotic shelter dog).

    • Wildkitten

      I clean my dog’s dishes in the kitchen sink. It never occurred to me to do otherwise.

      I also live in a small apartment, often have dishes in the sink, and my dog eats in the kitchen.

    • Lyssa

      I’ve never heard of this, so I had to look it up – apparently, it’s due to the risk of salmonella from the food cross-contaminating things? That makes very little sense to me; don’t we wash things that have touched raw chicken in the sink all the time? Surely that has a greater risk of salmonella than dog food. (So, sorry, no advice – I’ve always used the kitchen sink. I usually use paper towels or an old sponge, but that’s just because I’m bad about doing in frequently enough that it doesn’t get yucky enough to make me squeamish.)

      • Anonymous

        Exactly what I was thinking – I find it hard to believe that dog food could be more toxic than raw chicken, which we wash in the sink, but some of the sites I looked at made it sound like you will KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY if you get dog food anywhere near human food and not having owned a dog or cat before I didn’t really know. Thanks all for the reassurance that it’s fine to just wash the stuff in the kitchen sink!

        • Gail the Goldfish

          In fairness, some websites will also make it sound like you will kill your whole family if you don’t immediately sanitize the sink after washing raw chicken (actually, many of them will tell you don’t wash chicken for this reason). I’m going to file this under my mental “it’s a wonder the human race hasn’t died out,” file, along with all the things you’re not supposed to do/eat while pregnant.

          • tesyaa

            I am pretty relaxed about most things food-related, but I don’t let any of my kids eat raw eggs, period. As soon as they move out, practically the first thing they do is make a batch of brownies and lick the raw batter.

            The risk of salmonella is small, but the downside is pretty terrible (though usually temporary). I also think that earlier in human history, when chickens weren’t raised in factory conditions, salmonella may have been less widespread.

          • Baconpancakes

            tesyaa, get locally-grown eggs from small farmers. The chickens are raised in way better conditions, and testing has shown that they have much an almost 0% chance of salmonella due to the better chicken conditions. Also the eggs are soooo much tastier.

          • Anonymous

            tesyaa: make raw cookie dough or brownie batter with pasteurized eggs. My mom also never let me eat cookie dough growing up and I still don’t eat it unless I make a batch without eggs or with pasteurized egg. I absolutely love runny fried eggs now though, and those were also not allowed when I was a kid.

          • Gail the Goldfish

            Somewhere on the internet (Slate, maybe? Forbes?), there is a fascinating article on the difference in how eggs in Britain vs. the US are kept and treated to help prevent salmonella that you should read.

          • Zelda

            I took a cooking class in Japan where we learned how to make sukiyaki (beef/vegetable hot pot). I was the only one of the group who followed Japanese tradition and dipped the beef in raw egg before eating it. Delicious! :D

        • Zelda

          I no longer wash raw chicken (or any other type of meat) based on the arguments I’ve read, which are both scientifically based and intuitively make sense to me. You kill bacteria on chicken by cooking it, not swishing it around in water. I’m also less fastidious about vegetables that will be cooked thoroughly, washing more to remove dirt and potential bugs than to remove bacteria. The best way to ensure that your food is safe is to cook it.

    • waffles

      We throw our cat bowls in to the dishwasher with our dishes too. I have never even thought about this being an issue. I wonder what is the reason for this recommendation?

    • Bonnie

      I’ve always washed the pet dishes in the dishwasher or in our kitchen sink, using the same scrubber, and have never had problems. I don’t see how the bacteria can be any different than from thinks like raw meat.

    • anon

      Kitchen sink – different scrubber. (I keep old scrubbers under the sink for utility scrubbers.)

      If you’re really worried, us a different scrubber to clean water/food bowls. and then put the scrubber in a solution of diluted bleach and then clean the sink with a disinfectant. I put my handled scrubbers in bleach regularly anyway.

      The container and spoon shouldn’t have dog/cat germs on them so I wouldn’t see any problem putting them in the dishwasher. If you’re worried, you could have one designated Tupperware of a different color but I would think rinsing the spoon in the sink and then putting it in the dishwasher would be sufficient.

    • Moonstone

      Jeez, I’m lucky if the pets aren’t eating off my plates … at the same time as I am.

      • anonymous

        …….I really wonder if you’re serious, because this definitely happens in my house.

        • Em

          My younger brother used to share his ice cream cones with the dog. I mean, I’m not defending it and I wouldn’t do it, but he’s alive, is all I’m saying.

      • Alice

        My pet doesn’t eat off my plate. But she licks my face and all of the rest of me, like, 20 seconds after eating. So, probably no difference.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Just so you don’t feel crazy for asking, my dad who was a lab scientist, absolutely refused to let us cross pet stuff with human stuff. He had one fork for scooping out the cat food/dog food and that was not kept in the drawer with the rest of the silverware. The dog water was filled in the bathroom sink. I think the bowls were washed there too or outside at the faucet. I thought he was nuts. With my pets I use human stuff, the stuff comingles in the sink and dishwasher and sometimes my husband lets the dog lick the plate clean. I just thought you would like to know that someone out there shares your concern (my dad).

      The one thing he was right about, wash your hands after touching rawhide and don’t touch your mouth right away after. It can carry strep.

    • Jordan

      All my dogs things go into the dishwasher. I keep a scoop in the dog food bag but if I give him wet stuff I just use a regular people fork and put it in the dishwasher.

  10. Kelly K

    Can anyone recommend a drug store eye makeup remover that works well with waterproof products (eyeliner and mascara)? I’d prefer pads to a liquid, but am trying to keep an open mind. I currently use the Almay pads (oil free), and they require a bit of elbow grease to work properly.

  11. Anita

    Your best bet is an oil-based or dual phase make-up remover. Lots of brands make them, but I really like Philosophy’s.

  12. Auto Play

    There was a mucinex autoplay ad in the middle of the font page under this entry….

  13. Bullies

    Hello all, I work for a family owned business and they have always bullied me and I have come to accept that. But recently they have started bullying one of my coworkers, is there anything I can do to help my coworker? TIA

    • anonymous

      Wow. Why have you come to accept that rather than finding another job? Do they know they’re behaving poorly/is this a lack of awareness issue maybe? Because that would change the suggestion. So would what kinds of bullying activities they engage in. Also, is your coworker new?

      • Bullies

        I’ve come to accept it because of the bad job market. They know what they’re doing its an us versus them mentality. Since the family is in charge they know we can’t complain. My co worker is new. They blame us for their mistakes, withhold raises, gossip, and they said something wildly inappropriate to highlight an insecurity of my coworkers.

    • Mpls

      If you can’t change the situation for yourself, what do you expect to be able to do for someone else?

      ETA – also, the market may not be as bad as it was. If you haven’t lately, it would be worth a look to see if the options have gotten better.

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