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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Ribbed Sweater Dress

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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Sweater dresses are great for casual offices, but I also find them to be super cozy for lazy weekends around the house. This striped, ribbed version from J.Crew is beautiful whether you’re out and about or just lounging. I would wear this with some tan slides or navy flats.

The dress was originally $148, then marked down to $105.99 — but right now you can get an extra 50% off sale styles at J.Crew, which brings the price down to $52.99. It's available in sizes XXS–XXL. Ribbed Sweater Dress

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Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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357 Comments

  1. As an FYI, today (3/31) is the International Transgender Day of Visibility. This may be a day or anniversary of a day when some you know or their loves ones have come out. This day may be bringing up experiences of violence, of suicidality, of bullying. Others may be mourning not being able to attend events that celebrate and affirm transgender people in their community. It is also an opportunity to invite your social media contacts to learn about the realities and needs of transgender people.

  2. How’s everybody feeling? If you’re reading this you’re doing great. We just have to let this play itself out. For those who still have to go out to work, thank you.

    Here are some links I found interesting…

    Do science from your couch.
    COVID research https://covid19.eurekaplatform.org/
    Gravitational waves https://www.zooniverse.org/projects/zooniverse/gravity-spy
    Penguin colonies or galaxy shape classification https://www.space.com/penguins-search-galaxy-zoo-citizen-science-during-coronavirus.html

    Here are some mental health books in PDF form to download https://mega.nz/#F!EJAAxAQb!LMB6J2qabOQhMiN1eq5a0A

    The Backstreet Boys did “I want it that way” from their living rooms https://variety.com/2020/music/news/backstreet-boys-reunite-i-want-it-that-way-concert-coronavirus-1203548696/

    Some art http://myrtlebeachartmuseum.org/art-exhibitions/kate-hooray-osmond-light-shine-down/

      2. If you want to smile, I highly recommend watching the Jon K and Anna Kendrick Lip Sync Battle on YouTube. It is amazing.

    2. Good morning and thank you for these posts every day. I find myself looking forward to them.
      I’m still plugging away, going in to work as we’re deemed “essential”… not quite sure why, but I’m thankful to have the paycheck. Our state unemployment department is overloaded to the point that the online system is crashing frequently and people are frustrated that they can’t get online or call in to file. It’s crazy.

      I saw this online this morning and I think it’s wonderful. Dolly Parton will be reading bedtime stories on youtube. https://www.wtae.com/article/dolly-parton-to-read-bedtime-stories-in-new-video-series/31987619 I don’t have kids, but I think I’ll look up her youtube page and take a listen myself. I absolutely adore Dolly and had the gift and blessing of meeting her years ago. There’s no kinder, more wonderful soul on this Earth.

      I noticed the magnolia trees are starting to bloom here, and while my employer changed our work hours to 7-3, requiring me to start my day much earlier, I’ve discovered that I love watching it turn daylight on my drive to work. Supper tonight is chicken and biscuits — nothing fancy, and certainly not the most diet friendly, but probably the ultimate in comfort food. I’m trying to find the little things that bring me joy in all of this chaos. What little things are bringing all of you joy these days?

      1. My son is really into birds so we’ve been spotting different birds when we’re out on our daily walk. Nothing makes me cheerier than seeing a fat little robin. Also, I’ve got some bulbs which are thisclose to blooming and checking them every morning is a delight.

        1. We put a couple of bird feeders in the backyard and they have been so much fun! We have the fattest pair of mourning doves that sit and eat all.day.long. I love it.

          1. We have a set of cardinals! They apparently stay in the same territory and mate for life.

          2. We have 5 Blue Jays! They are beautiful and fascinating birds, much like cardinals, but they live in groups. Feeding the squirrels has been fun too. I never realized how many birds will ground feed right alongside the squirrels!

          3. Probably dependent on where you are, but we have tons of goldfinches showing off their new yellow selves.

          4. I love my birdfeeder! I set it up mainly to act as “cat TV” to entertain my cats, but it’s proving quite entertaining for me in the time of quarantine.

          5. Believe it or not, we have peacocks in our neighborhood. They like to be out and about in the early evening, which is when we usually take our walks. It’s mating season right now so the dudes are all showing off and the ladies appear quite disinterested.

        2. I’ve had a great horned owl and a red tailed hawk hanging out in the tree right in front of my window. Loving it, although I’d disturbing to know that the mouse population will support them!

      2. Comfort food for the win right now! I made a big pan of macaroni and cheese for Sunday dinner. Husband was happy to demolish most of it on his own, lol. Listening to fun, brain popcorn books. (Ooh, popcorn.) I finally managed to do yoga again! Contemplating birthday gifts for people I love. A friend and I have been writing letters all winter and now I treasure this old-fashioned fun even more.

      3. Could you share your recipe or a similar one? This looks like something my kid would love this weekend.

    3. NPR has an interview done during hippo feeding at the Cincinnati zoo, it’s a bit long but just wonderful.

    4. I grew up in a brick rancher on a concrete slab, no basement. My husband and I live in a Colonial, and it’s only since I’ve been WFH that I realize how freaking LOUD wooden houses are. The floors squeak, the walls groan, the windows creak when they warm up from the sun.

      Obviously not earth-shattering news, but just one of those goofy little oddities that WFH has brought to my attention.

      1. Same here. I live in a 100 year old foursquare style house. The plaster walls pop all the time, and I can hear the cat walking around upstairs!

    5. I think I was doing pretty well, but my aunt passed away yesterday. She was in Asia and had kidney problems for years, my mom wasn’t allowed to see her when she went to visit a few weeks ago. I worry about my mom who isn’t going to be able to go back for a funeral, for her family who wasn’t allowed to see her the last week. I haven’t told anyone except my husband, and feel weird sharing here because I like being positive and optimistic but I woke up feeling down.

      4. I’m so sorry, Abby. You should feel free to share your grief here and with your friends and family. You need and deserve support.

    6. Yesterday, was a VERY VERY bad day. Work blew up with some shut downs in Mexico, a colleauge lashed out at me for no reason, and I am PMSy. I turned my personal cell phone off at 2 p.m. and didn’t turn it back on until this morning. I spent the evening enjoying a glass of wine and reading the G&G I had been saving for an appropriate time. It helped a lot and while I didn’t sleep well (different night, same $hit), I woke up and was very productive at work stuff for three hours (before coming here :)).

      Today will be a better day.

    7. Good morning. Hanging in there today and starting to get used to the idea of this being my life for the next month. I’ve really been cycling through the stages of grief the past couple of weeks, and I’m finally around to acceptance. It’s been weird, and every day is a little unpredictable mood-wise but I think I’ve tapered off.
      Thankful to be healthy and have a great spouse/quarantine partner. This week is our third wedding anniversary, and things haven’t exactly been romantic around the house lately, but I sure am glad we have each other. He’s usually the panicky one, but he has been such a rock with all this.
      We painted the back of our built-in bookshelf a lovely pistachio green color this weekend. It was a nice break for a few hours to do that and reflect back on my book collection (and how many I still need to read).
      I’m also glad that it so happens to be the hot tv season where several of our favorite shows are playing live. The walking dead (meh), Better Call Saul (awesome), and Outlander (also awesome and ridiculous) are welcome breaks every week for an hour an evening.
      Hang in there everyone!

    8. I feel like I’m all over the place.

      The pros of WFH: I never realized how getting ready for work every day, driving there, dealing with daycare dropoffs was an absolute energy drain. My commute isn’t even that long — 25 minutes each way — but there is a noticeable difference in how I feel at the end of the day, for the better. I like having my kids around, even though it’s tough to juggle everything. I feel like I have more flexibility to work with my rhythms: I can power through and be uber productive when I need to, and those times when I’d normally surf the ‘net for some mental downtime can be used for more useful things when I’m at home.

      The cons of WFH: The lack of boundaries. I have worked really hard over the past few years to set strict home/work boundaries and this arrangement makes everything much more … integrated. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I am an introvert who is constantly around people (my family) right now. It is hard to find the solace I’d get just listening to podcasts or my music on the way into work.

      I find that I’m getting much pissier and more annoyed with my colleagues. Probably having online-only relationships isn’t helping that. I can’t tell if I’m reading too much into the tone of their emails, or if we’re actually irritated with one another.

      When all this is over, I would like to WFH 1-2 days a week. I don’t think being at home all the time is the healthiest situation for me, though.

      1. Totally agree re: your second paragraph! I am realizing now I spent so much of my life packing things up, lugging them around, and being in transit. And the dreaded Tupperware/laptop/gym bag schlep was killing my back. It is so nice to have everything I need in one place.

      2. +1 on the morning routine. I realize now I found it draining and stressful! I love not having to do it right now.

      3. On the one hand, the time saving in the morning is great, but I haven’t adapted well yet. I’m finding myself getting up only 10 minutes before I need to start working and that’s not ideal at all.

    9. I have a phone interview for an out of state job I am really interested in, but I have no idea how I can actually do this. Interviewing in person seems impossible until at least the end of the month and moving seems even more insurmountable right now. How much has changed since I submitted the application…

      1. Yesterday was not a great day. Last week I posted that a member of my team gave notice. I spent yesterday going through her work and found that she has done next to nothing the last couple of months. I have will have to do all the work she didn’t. The upside is that it is stuff I really enjoy doing so I am not dreading the work itself. Also, my freshman’s university finally pulled the trigger on the rest of the semester. Not altogether unexpected, but I was holding out hope (as was the university) that the kids might get to go back for a week or two. Again, there is an upside. I get to spend time with my kid. Looking for silver linings in everything. They do exist.

        I have discovered that I am very capable of cleaning my own house despite having had a weekly cleaning for the last 20 years. Pretty sure my husband is going to suggest we can go without when all this is over. Not happening.

      2. I was in the job hunt for a few months before this all blew up, and now it’s so defeating. I’m in a toxic job I do not like at all, that makes me feel unimportant and unvalued. These things are highlighted working from home (I’m lucky to be able to do so, don’t get me wrong) and not being able to have my normal outlets is hard. Jobs are still being posted though, so i’m trying to stay hopeful that within a couple months, I can make moves. I needed a place to vent for a second, but to your post, if there’s a will, there’s a way. In person is always preferred but maybe an exception would be made due to circumstances? If the interview is still happening, there must be a need which is a good sign for you! And moving, I know someone who just did this past weekend. It’s not convenient, but it is possible. Best of luck to you in the coming weeks! A new job and a move will hopefully give you something to look forward to. A fresh start after all this crap.

  3. I’m already dealing with really bad neck pain and wrist issues (feels like tendinitis onset) from working on my laptop at my kitchen island daily. I do have a den in my place but I don’t like working in there because there is no natural light and I don’t have the financial means right now to spend a ton on a new office set-up. But with this increasing pain, something needs to change or I am going to be unable to continue working. Any ideas on how to make working from home more ergonomic without shelling out tons of dough on a new monitor, chair, keyboard, etc.? I’m working from a Macbook currently.

    1. You don’t have to spend a lot for a big improvement. I spent £70 on a keyboard, mouse, and laptop riser/ monitor stand and it’s made a noticeable difference.

    2. Can you spend $25 on a wireless mouse and keyboard? The simplest fix might be to raise up your laptop on a stack of textbooks so you’re not looking down at the screen, and then use an external mouse and keyboard to access it. I find computer mice to be much gentler on my wrists than laptop touchpads, too.

    3. I’m not sure the option is available for Macs but I can’t recommend a rollerball mouse enough. Pushing a mouse around or pushing your finger around on the touchpad is really hard on your hands. So that would be my first step, an ergonomic mouse. Next can you look at ways of elevating the laptop a bit? You need to try not to be hunching over which is tough when you have to peer at the screen and peck at the keyboard. If that’s not possible, set your timer for a 5 minute break every hour and do some stretching and look out your window.

    4. Laptops are great for convenience, but they are awful for heavy-duty typing because the keyboards are flat. Can you try rolling up a towel and using it as a wrist rest to get your arms at a more comfortable position? You can get a wireless keyboard for under $50 (some for even under $30) and a wireless mouse is even cheaper than that from the river (I know, we all hate the place, but these are trying times…) There are ergonomic keyboards at similar price points or higher, but I’ve always felt those are more uncomfortable. Maybe a wireless keyboard and mouse and placing your laptop on a box or stack of books to get it up to eye level will help alleviate some of your neck/wrist issues before they get really bad.

      If you’re really in a bind, maybe try setting your laptop on something so the keyboard is angled slightly instead of sitting flat and then adjusting the screen a bit. Take frequent breaks and do some neck and wrist stretches. It’s not the best solution, but it may help until you can figure out something better or someone else here can offer up a better idea.

    5. I am working from my bedroom because my tallboy dresser is the perfect height for a standing desk. I threw a blanket over top to protect the wood. I take short jaunts to the dining room table to break things up, but overall, mostly standing has been the most comfortable option. Can you look around and see if anything you already own is a good height for standing work? Just make sure you’re wearing quality shoes with good arch support.

      Also, a vertical mouse is a must for me. (I use an Evoluent Vertical Mouse 4, which is terrible. Vertical mice in general are AMAZING and you should get one, but that particular brand loses connectivity constantly. The Logitech MX line gets great reviews, and will be my next purchase once this one finally dies.)

      1. +1! For me, an IKEA dresser plus a shoebox is a good standing height. I stand for calls or document review. Then I go sit when it’s more mousing or typing.

      2. I was just coming here to recommend a vertical mouse! I also have an Evoluent wireless and I haven’t had any trouble with lost connectivity.

        1. I also have the Evoluent, but on a classic USB cable. I believe it was a fair bit cheaper than the bluetooth option, if you want to save a few bucks and don’t mind the cable.

    6. I have similar issues and I’ve just been moving around a lot throughout the day. I’ll work in bed/on the couch for a while, standing at the counter, sitting at a table, sitting/laying on the floor, etc. I don’t have any ergonomic accessories except for a standard USB mouse, but I’ve found changing positions is really helpful to reduce the strain of repetitive motions. If my wrist is particularly agitated, I’ll also wear a wrist brace overnight.

    7. I’ve found the Microsoft Sculpt Ergonomic Mouse to be the best investment of my legal career (the keyboard will not work with Mac – check the compatibility for mouse). And a laptop angled stand (the top of the screen should be at your eyes’ height) and wireless keyboard (your elbow angle should be more or less at 90 degrees while working)

    8. A scrolling mouse made a huge difference when I had tendonitis and it’s never come back.

  4. Question for the CPAs: I did my taxes through TurboTax last month and owed $300 on federal. We got a big refund last year and changed our withholdings to get more money monthly, so I was pleased with owing $300. I just happened to look at our actual tax return the other day to see what we would be getting on the stimulus, and noticed that it had forms for paying quarterly estimated taxes of $460 each. I know you’re supposed to pay estimated if you’re going to owe over $1000, but any idea why it was triggered when we only owed $300 this year?

    1. Oh, and we didn’t have any special tax situations this year that would impact it.

      1. I owed $12k to the feds this year (and got back $6k from my state – there is no way to get them both right) and my tax return generated suggested quarterly payments totaling $24k. They definitely pad the numbers.

    2. Double check your withholdings for this year. I noticed that withholdings went down, which would have resulted in less tax paid throughout the year on my paycheck. I then redid my W-4 to withhold an extra amount to avoid a surprise. The Feds adjust witholdings every year–the defaults work for a lot of folks but you should still doublecheck what your withholdings and tax situation will be at year end.

    3. I think it’s an automatically generated part of the return. You don’t need to do estimated tax if you have no 1099 income. I’ve seen this in other returns, too.

  5. Thinking about my own mortality and have a question for the legal experts here. I have been dragging my feet about getting a will done but this whole COVID crisis is making me think about it some more. I don’t have a spouse or kids but do have considerable financial assets. Is there a significant advantage to making a will through an attorney rather than online? Seems like going to an attorney is more legit but also still trying to social distance myself. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

    1. An attorney will make sure that your will and the signing process comply with the laws for your individual state so that the will is enforceable. An attorney will also be able to tailor your will in ways you might not think of so that your assets are distributed in the way you want them to be. “Considerable financial assets” make this even more important. Do you want to set up a trust for any nieces/nephews/friends’ kids? Do you want your money to go to a specific charity or cause?

      My firm’s estate planning section is handling most of the process by phone with extremely limited interaction from a long distance and by strict appointment only when absolutely necessary (i.e. in-person signing).

    2. Is anything about your life complex or non-vanilla? Do you have any significant $? I don’t do my own oil changes b/c I want to get that done right, and so much more is (potentially) at stake with a will. But if I were a single childless renter with not a lot of $, I might forgo a will.

    3. If you have significant financial assets, an attorney would point out to you that your contract with the financial institution often has contingent beneficiaries in the case of your death that a will wouldn’t override. So: fill out those contracts first while you hunt for a good attorney, who will also do a living will, HCPOA, and advance directive (standard in my city for estate planners).

    4. Dad says that most attorneys use software themselves. And Dad trusts good software as the software is vetted by good attorneys, not some schlub down the road who is just an attorney. So, unless you have a very complicated estate plans for your money/assetsit, like establishing trusts and trustees and all that, you can do it yourself with online software. He reminded me that you do have to get it witnessed or notarized, but good software should tell you this. You said you have no kids or spouse so who are you planning to give your money to? If it is to your private school or college, Dad says they can hook you up with their own attorney’s to do whatever leagal work is required for free, b/c they will get your money if you die.

      I wrote a will when I was going to marry Sheketovits, but when I threw him out, I ripped up that will, so I am in the same boat. Single, no will and still looking for a husband who will handle all this stuff for me. FOOEY!

    5. An attorney can walk you through options that will preserve the value of your estate as it is passed on. The online forms, except for those in California from Nolo Press, are pretty bad

        1. You do need two witnesses but hopefully you could do that from six feet away.

    6. A good estate planning lawyer is worth the few hundred dollars you will pay. In addition to making it legal and tailored to your situation, she/he can talk you through your options and share what others have done. A good will is a lasting gift to those you leave behind, no matter how much or how little you have.

    7. I’m an estate planning (and probate) attorney in Texas. The online wills I have seen are sometimes better than nothing, and sometimes make matters worse. I’d avoid them.

      I’m meeting with new clients via Zoom and rarely have face-to-face meetings with existing clients (phone calls are more typical because they’re more efficient for everyone), but where needed I’d use Zoom right now versus any in-person meeting.

      Unfortunately, in Texas, we cannot execute wills (or other estate planning documents) virtually. It’s being worked on at some higher levels but I don’t expect any change in the near term. In the meantime, we are signing wills in as big of a room as we can find (for “standard” risk clients, and taking all the normal precautions–sanitized pens and surfaces, doors open, hands washed before and after, sitting as far back as possible from each other) or through a window (either as requested by the client, or if they are at higher risk for any reason).

      Other states, however, DO allow virtual will executions. If the attorney you contact acts like they aren’t familiar with the options (or lack thereof) keep looking.

    8. Get a will and a living trust and an advanced medical directive. Most estate attorneys will do them all together as a package. A living trust will allow your heirs to avoid probate and having just been through this with mom’s estate, DO IT!

      1. Just a caveat for people who may be more unfamiliar with estate planning… To truly avoid probate, you actually have to “fund” your revocable trust while you are living (i.e., re-title all of your assets in the name of the trust). It is relatively easy to do for most assets, but it is a process. Merely creating a revocable trust will not result in the avoidance of probate.

    9. I am in your situation. I have not done a will, but probably should.

      However, although I have substantial assets, they are well organized. I have simply put beneficiaries on my accounts (which are other family members). They are on my bank account, retirement account and investment account. You don’t need a will to do that. That leaves my personal items (I am not a home owner) which in my state would simply pass to closest family. My family are not too psycho and will divide/take whatever they want.

      The main reason I am considering a will is so I can set up more going to charity, as I get older and am more confident my extended family will be cared for. However, I can also simply change the beneficiaries on my accounts to my favorite charities.

    10. I want to note that it is pretty new and not universal, but many states now have a means for remote notary services, meaning you might never have to have an in-person contact in this process. Some states that did not have this before are implementing or considering emergency implementation of these procedures, too.

      1. I acknowledge this does not fix the witness issue, but perhaps you have someone already in your sphere who can also be the witness.

    11. The online wills are at best, inadequate, and at worst, harmful – like, worse than dying intestate (no will). As a single childless person, at least in Florida, your parents would actually inherit your assets if you had no will, followed by siblings, then aunts and uncles, then nieces and nephews, etc. If you want anyone OTHER than those intestate heirs to inherit your assets, you need a Will, and you need it properly drafted by a professional. If you do your own will, it stands to get thrown out if, say, an execution requirement of your state is unmet, and then your assets will ultimately pass to your heirs in intestacy – after significant $$ has been spent in litigation.
      Even if you are happy with intestate heirs inheriting, a Will empowers your executor/PR to perform acts that they are not otherwise authorized to do under the law (eg., sell real estate that belonged to you) without having to go to the court and ask permission. This cuts down on costs and time.
      In Florida, we will be able to remotely notarize and execute Wills and Trusts after July 1, for those who aren’t “vulnerable adults” – i.e, elderly people who need assistance with activities of daily living. Not sure about other states but it is worth checking.
      Like others, I am meeting with new clients via video – I use GoToMeeting, and then we do signings in person, since we don’t have a choice until July. But we are able to maintain distance during the meeting in our large conference room, and tell the clients to bring their own pens. We’ve taken the chairs out of the waiting area and told clients to just wait in their car until their exact appointment time. We wipe the table down with Clorox wipes before and after. It works pretty well.

  6. Is anyone else having a hard time with food? I was getting things delivered but that seems like it’s no longer an option. I’m terrified there won’t be any food at our stores. Last night I almost screamed at my husband when he back for seconds (seconds!) on a meal I was hoping to stretch. I snapped at my preschooler when he asked for milk with his breakfast and I just feel like he and my husband need to eat a LOT less or we will starve. We’re running out and I’m really scared.

    1. Do you have frozen/pantry goods? Stores are pretty well stocked in my area…there may be less meat available but produce and all pantry goods are completely fine. You will not starve. I think if you go to the store this week, your anxiety will decrease once you see the availability.

    2. Have you been going to the grocery stores? Things have been okay at ours if you time it right (for me that’s going right when they open). Last week I got some “hot ticket” items (big things of chicken breasts, beef, and toilet paper) without too much trouble. I have to be flexible with what kind of produce I need and basically choose what veggies I’ll eat based on what’s there, but I always have enough food for the next week, plus a backup supply for another week of non perishable items (pasta, Mac and cheese, soup, etc.).

      If money is a concern that’s more difficult. But for supply issues, see if one of you can watch the kid while the other wakes up first thing and goes, use wipes and shower and wash your hands and all that, and you should be ok

      1. Thanks we have plenty of money and I’m not normally cheap. I just can’t believe I cannot find basic food for my kid. It’s got me so rattled. We have some dry goods but I get REALLY angry when I see my husband eating it. I feel like he’s eating for pleasure and we can’t have that. This morning I felt like his breakfast was huge! He could have saved more.

        It feels like he’s taking food that I could give to my son in a few weeks when that’s all there is. And shouldn’t we save it for him? This could last for months I years and food is getting harder to get. I feel like I’m overreacting but the horders took everything they could and now we’re in a bad spot.

        1. You are either tro11ing or dangerously mentally ill. There is food. Plenty of food.

          1. Don’t be cruel. It’s incredibly stressful to walk into the grocery store and see empty shelves and people wearing masks.

          2. I’m not being cruel. She’s proposing denying her husband food and suggesting her son needs to eat less. This is dangerous and deeply unwell.

        2. This isn’t healthy. You shouldn’t be policing what your husband eats. This sounds like it’s become an anxiety issue that’s getting out of control. Go to the grocery store.

          1. My husband will literally eat everything in the house out of boredom even if he’s not hungry, so it’s not crazy to worry about this issue.

          2. My husband will only eat pre-packaged junk food and starchy things. He wouldn’t put forth the effort to make anything. And certainly wouldn’t eat anything really healthy. The Fritos are in danger, but the oatmeal and yogurt and apples are safe.

          3. Then he needs to be more involved. Have you shared with him the meal plan for the coming days? Is he involved in the shopping? Does he maybe not mind heading out and getting more food? Does he know you are trying to keep a stash for either staying in during peak spread or actual quarantine? Or is all he sees a pantry full of snacks?
            Is he stress eating because he is also anxious? It really helps me to share my feelings and motivations with my husband.

          4. I seriously do not get these man-children and the supposedly high-achieving chicks who enable this behavior (looking at you, Frito husband of 10:12)

          5. Not Anon at 10:12 but I feel like many posters would be judgmental of some of my husband’s behavior but I’m not his keeper or his mother. Do I wish my husband at healthier sometimes? Of course. But would I want him all up in my business every time I grab a pint of ice cream or sneak a piece of candy from the stash he put on the top shelf of the pantry, no? I’m not saying none of the criticism of posters husbands isn’t valid but I do feel like a ton of it is misplaced. I’m not sure why a husband eating Fritos is worse than a woman grabbing a late night slice of cake. Or maybe none of you have bad snacking habits either and I’m just a woman-child.

          6. You are having anxiety. I would guess you’re too afraid to go the the grocery store? You need to talk to a professional, decide how to safely go shopping, and go get food. You SHOULD NOT need to ration food for your family. Please get help!

        3. What do you mean you can’t find basic foods for your kid? I’m in a large US city with hundreds of corona cases and we have plenty of food in the stores. I’m sorry but you’re overreacting.

        5. You can’t find food? Or you can’t find food that will be delivered to you?

          Someone needs to physically go to a store. There is tons of food in every grocery store near me. As others said, there are occasional empty shelves but it’s not like there is no food in the store!

      2. My grocery store is stocked with just about everything. This is anxiety talking unless things are very, very different in other parts of the country.

        1. Some areas are having shortages of common items. It may be anxiety, but to paraphrase a joke, sometimes when you’re paranoid, they really ARE after you.

          1. It’s strange and inconsistent. The Target near me has no pasta whatsoever except the chickpea kind and no pasta sauce and no toilet paper. The chain grocery store a mile away has plenty of all.

          2. I’m disappointed by the grocery stores that just allowed customers (or even “a customer”) to clear out the shelves of certain items. Many of these stores have routine purchase restrictions in place for items on the weekly sales flier; it’s not like it’s a brand new concept.

    3. If you feed them less, they will be hungry. Can you not go to a store? Why are we expecting 1099-paid (i.e., poorly paid workers with no benefits) delivery workers to take the brunt of exposure for those of us who can pay for delivery?

      1. We were both directioned to quarantine and we are in the ny suburbs. I haven’t been to a grocery in weeks because people were taking everything and the crowds were really insane and it seemed like I’d be a bad citizen to crowd and hoard. But now my child has no milk and I’m so frightened that I’ve failed him. The governor keeps saying months until normalcy and I’m just really scared.

        1. You haven’t failed your child, I promise. It’s okay to go to the grocery store. Is your quarantine still in effect? Can a friend shop for you if you can’t leave the house yourself? Can you send your husband?

        2. Heck, we run out of stuff all the time pre-crisis b/c we are busy or no one writes down what is out. My kids wouldn’t be traumatized that we’d be out of something (not that I couldn’t over-react and traumatize them — do not do this!). You can get shelf-stable powdered milk as a fallback (it is not great, but why not use for non-drinking milk needs in a pinch). But, seriously, the food part of this is a fixable problem.

        3. You have failed him! By letting your anxiety deprive him of food! Go drive to a grocery store and buy milk right now! And get help!

          1. No. I was going to work even after the grocery store became unmanageable and I was exposed at work. I feel like you don’t understand how bad the grocery store was.

          2. That is how bad it WAS. Everyone, including people in your area, are saying that it isn’t like that now.

            And if you post on nextdoor, you can probably find a person who will drop off groceries for you. [Or at worse: will just steal your $, but won’t ransack your house.]

          3. Grocery stores near me have got significantly calmer in the last week to ten days. Queueing outside at a safe distance, maximum numbers of shoppers allowed inside at any one time, floor markings to help you keep your distance. It was hellish but it’s got a lot less so, especially if you can go at an off peak time like mid morning.

        5. It’s ok to go to the grocery store. Wear a mask if you feel exposed (the main purpose is to keep you from touching your face with your own dirty hands.) Maintain a 6 foot distance from other shoppers. Wash your hands / use hand sanitizer thoroughly. Wipe down what you can before bringing into your home. But don’t starve your family and stress out like there’s a famine. Get the groceries. Eat the food. No one’s starving.

        6. Have you ever run out of milk before? Has your child ever experienced desiring a particular food but being out of it? Consider this a teaching moment. Tell him that sometimes we don’t have any more of a particular food in the house and we have to wait to get more. He’ll live. I’m on team “you need to get your anxiety under control.” Please consider that your general sense of impending doom and unease is causing him more stress than the lack of milk. Kids pick up on this stuff. You are more focused on your distressing, self-inflicted, and entirely irrational perception of yourself as having “failed your child” than you are focused on your child’s actual well-being. Please stop indulging this and rely on your critical thinking skills. It truly sounds like you are in the grip of a mental health crisis. Please, please, please get the help you need.

    4. Omg go to a store. There is food. Your anxiety cannot be allowed to result in you not letting yourself or your family eat. This is horrifying.

    5. I feel like that too, until I go and see the shelves overflowing with produce (apparently nobody wants to buy fresh!). You might not be able to get everything you want, but for the most part the supply chain is holding. And frankly, sympathy – I get mad at my husband for taking seconds in non-pandemic times because I used to meal-plan so carefully that each meal had to eke out a certain number of servings. There’s just no way to predict how hungry a person will be, and everything is uncertain right now. Your family is fed. You’re doing a good job.

    6. I agree with the other OPs. People have already whorded all of the beans and toilet paper they will need for the next year, and the store shelfs have been restocked, so you will not have the same fears we all did when every schmoe was buying 64 rolls of TP and dozens of cans of soup/beans/ pasta and cheap tomatoe sauce that they would NEVER buy or eat b/c that was the only sauce available. FOOEY1 So now, just go back to the store and get what you need for a week, NOT 8 months like the schmoes did 2 weeks ago. Also, do NOT scold your family for asking for more food/milk. They will not like to be talked down to if they are hungry.

    7. Okay, with gentleness: I don’t think this is about the food. This is a stressful situation and in stressful situations, a lot of us often channel all of our stress into a specific area of life. It sounds like for you, that might be the food supply.

      I suspect your rational mind knows you are not going to starve. Your family is not going to starve. There is not a food shortage in this country, there’s a supply chain disruption. That may mean that not all the things you expect to be at the store will be there, but there will be food – even if it means you have to eat different things than you normally would. My grocery store has been out of meat for a few days, for example, and my partner is definitely grumbling about the vegetarian meals…but he’s eating them.

      I think you probably know all of this but you’re not living in your rational mind right now – your irrational mind is taking precedence, maybe just in this one area. I bet you’re trying really hard to keep it together in every other part of your life, and maybe this is the one place where your anxiety and fear and stress is coming to the fore. At least, that’s how it is for me with my particular fear focus right now (for me, it’s concern my dog will break through the electric fence at our new house and be lost. I’ve had nightmares about it and started crying last night when he ran into the front yard without me.).

      For me, when I feel this way, I use the CBT STOPP technique (you can google it), which I learned when I was getting treated for agoraphobia some years ago. I find it REALLY helpful when I start to spiral into anxiety – maybe it would help you too? After I’ve done that, I’m much better able to distinguish between the loop playing in my mind (MY DOG WILL BE LOST AND ALONE) and my real fear (The world feels out of control and I’m scared of losing one of my sole comforts).

      Take care of yourself – these are hard times.

      1. This is a lovely reply; I’m not the original poster, but, as someone with anxiety issues, I understand how she feels.

    8. You are understandably very anxious. There is food in the stores, and there will be food. Much of the U.S. food supply is domestic, and the food distribution system is working flat out to keep stores stocked. It is difficult to get things delivered due to the high demand, and I am not doing deliveries hoping to free up windows for people that cannot shop. At some point in the future, we need for food delivery companies to be able to flag shoppers that should be a priority for home delivery due to age, illness, etc.

      I strongly encourage you to go to the store and buy some things you need. The advice is consistent that it is OK to go grocery shopping, and it may be helpful to get out of the house. We are finding here that the stores are steady but not super busy at any one time, and people are being good about physical distancing. . This is difficult, but I urge you to please address this and try to avoid developing food insecurity. I grew up hungry sometimes, and I still have some food insecurities, and it’s still tough. You don’t want to develop this yourself, or worse, in your child. Be smart, be cautious, but go get some of the food you need as soon as you can.

      1. This is a logistics issue more than anything. Supermarkets have maximally optimized their revenue, which often means hardly any backroom storage, and just-in-time deliveries multiple times a day. Numbers show that in the last three weeks, shoppers have been trying to stock up more, resulting in a 10% increase in demand. That’s not such a big increase, but enough to disturb the precise balance of deliveries and staffing levels (if the clerks suddenly have to work at the cash register 10% more, that time can’t be spent restocking empty shelves from the delivery). That’s especially true for TP, whose supply chain is especially optimized because demand is perfectly linear (demand for other goods can change by the weather or the day of the week, but TP is always bought at a predictable rate, so the shops were the least adaptable here).
        In addition, normally wholesale food deliveries would be divided between grocery stores, restaurants, cafeterias and so on. Now the restaurants and cafeterias are buying way less, so there is definitely food, but shifting buying contracts, delivery truck staffing and schedules, and keeping those shelves restocked is just going to be less smooth than normal.
        That said, my grocery store last week midday had pasta, milk, eggs, bread, meat, fresh produce and unhealthy stuff completely stocked. TP, rice and flour were out, but otherwise it looked completely normal.

        1. This is precisely why it’s so frightening. We are entirely dependent on an incredibly complicated system with a million potential points of failure and no redundancy or contingency plans. Pull on one little thread (people start using the bathroom at home instead of work and toilet paper demand shifts more towards retail) and the whole thing collapses.

          3. Good god, it is not collapsing, it is simply not the same well oiled machine that you’re used to. There is food. If it won’t land on the shelf today, it will tomorrow. A deviation from our personal routines will be necessary, but supposedly the human race is so successful because of their adaptability.

          4. On the flip side, isn’t it great to live in a system that is so complicated that pulling one little string can’t possibly unravel the whole thing and there are other parts of the system that can compensate? Okay, toilet paper is low – it’s manufactured largely in the U.S. so we’ll catch up on the shortage. Maybe lettuce is low – okay there are hundreds of other veggies in the store to try. Coolant is low so refrigerated trucks aren’t as plentiful – okay get canned goods.
            Heck, even the restaurant distributors are picking up the slack in terms of less demand by restaurants and more by consumers (restaurants around the country are selling food packages – it’s fairly genius).

          5. Y’all — we managed the Berlin Airlift. We will be fine. Get out to a store — quarantines that I’ve seen have been for 2 weeks and it seems that maybe you are just under a stay-home order (which lets you out to get food and little else). Make a choice that is a productive choice.

          6. I think that personal politics plays a huge role in how people are responding to the crisis.

            If you believe we have competent leadership and the systems we have set up are sufficient, you trust the system.

            If you believe we have crazy incompetent autocratic clown who has fired everyone save YES men and he and his band of morons are Fing things up for the states and cities who don’t “treat them well” then YEAH you’re going to go a little crazy. I tend to be with OP — if my kid will only eat peanut butter sandwiches and sugared cereal and my husband eats it all in a drunken binge he can F off.

          7. What? No. If you are truly panicking, call a local restaurant and see if you can buy some of their food directly. Even easier, if money is not an issue, order take-out.

          8. Anonymous @11:01 nopenopenopenopenope. I believe the kleptocratic commander in cheese and his YESmen are screwing up what could be a much better federal response to this crisis. I think a lot of people will die that we could have saved. But they won’t die because they couldn’t buy milk. Being angry at malicious self-serving incompetence in the GOP swamp does not mean I can’t think straight for panicking, does not mean I am rushing to buy more guns, or that I am calling for the economy to restart before we have a handle on the public health situation.

          9. Lordy, I think we people on the ground are who fix things and get things done and will get through this. Ignore the politics — look at the workers working and helpers helping. This spiraling isn’t doing anything.

    9. Not sure where you’re located, but I’m seeing plenty of fresh produce here in the suburban Maryland area at our stores. Milk and eggs seem to be a bit sparse at times, but the stores are trying their best to restock. You have to be somewhat flexible in what you get – let’s say you usually eat whole wheat pasta but right now they only have regular pasta. I’d take the regular pasta, short of having any allergy or very serious food restrictions. Or eat more non-meat proteins, if there’s no meat to be found but plenty of legumes or soy-based proteins.

      If you’re not able to get grocery deliveries from an online app or if you and your husband aren’t able to leave the house, what about asking a neighbor to pick up some items for you when they do a grocery run (and say you’ll venmo them payment or something)? They can drop off your items and let you know with a text, and you can sanitize the items at your own door.

      If it’s a money issue, then I think you might be better off coming up with a meal plan, to the best that you can. It’ll have to be somewhat flexible, but it’ll give you a better idea of what food you currently have on hand and what you can spend going forward.

    10. Why are you “terrified”? Just trying to get to the root of the fear. Is it money or just fear of supply chain/availability?

      If the latter, just some anecdata to hopefully help temper your ‘terrified’ reaction: I’m in one of the nation’s hot zones, and even still our grocery stores are largely stocked. Not at 100%, normal levels but I can get plenty of nutritious food when I do my weekly run for non-shelf-stable items. 3 weeks ago our store shelves looked apocalyptic in that there was literally nothing. That was scary and there was a period of time at that point I was worried about stretching food at home the way you’re describing. Thankfully, supply chains are catching up and while I’m stocking my pantry and freezer slowly but surly so we have a stash if we had to truly quarantine for 14 days (either due to exposure or mandate), the reality is the grocery stores are hanging in there. I’ve had a ton of luck shopping at our local farm stand – it’s a true grocery store but 85% produce and meats, which have been incredibly well stocked. Perhaps think outside the box of a traditional Grocery Store if you aren’t finding what you need there.

      1. I’m terrified because my child is asking for milk and I cannot get him any. I’m terrified because we will soon run out of toilet paper. Im terrified of a violent intruder. I’m terrified because because if I leave the house I might bring back a virus that kills one of us.

        I’m terrified that I didn’t look out for my family enough. They told me not to hoard but now I feel like I’m a sucker and my family will suffer for it. I’m terrified that things are about to get worse.

        3. OP, please try and take a step back. This is understandable anxiety given the circumstances but you cannot let it run away with you. I second the recommendations of those above to go to a grocery store and take some comfort in seeing that there is food available. Thinking your husband’s breakfast is too big is not a natural reaction and I am concerned it could turn into disordered eating for you. Please go outside – things are hard right now but this is not the actual end of the world.

        4. You need to call your doctor and talk about how to alleviate this anxiety.

          If you run out of TP, so what? Use towels and wash them. There wasn’t always TP, and it was fine. Grosser than you’re used to perhaps, but fine.

          The violent intruder thing is out of left field. Is your area being looted or something?

          Is someone in your house at risk? If not, take all of the proper precautions and go to the store. Even if they are, take all of the proper precautions and go to the store.

          Ask friends, neighbors, etc., to see if they have milk and borrow some until you can go to the store. They can leave it outside your door, and you can get it when they are gone.

          You are catasrophizing. Anxiety is normal during this time period, but this is off the charts and you won’t be able to help your family until you help yourself.

        5. You can get him milk. You can go to the grocery store. Panicking is not helping your son. There is tons of food in stores. Nobody will starve.

          1. Op:
            You have no idea how bad it was.

            More crowded than any of the crowds people on this board and/or the media were horrified about. And no dairy.

          2. @OP – so buy soy milk or oat milk. You don’t need dairy to live or be healthy.

            My dairy allergic kid is a perfectly healthy 8 year old with zero cow’s milk dairy ever.

            The problem is your mental health, not the actual situation. Your anxiety has you spiralling. Even the worst hit places like Italy are fine for food. Yes ppl have to line up and wait but the food supply chain is not broken ANYWHERE.

          3. For milk-Try a gas station if you’re freaked out about a grocery store. They frequently sell milk, especially the ones near neighborhoods that people might pop into if they forgot something at the store.

          6. re your 12:21 reply. Again, you say you haven’t been out to the stores in weeks. I believe you that it was bad then. But look at how much about this whole crisis has changed in two weeks. Everyone, including NYers, is telling you that the food situation is also changed from two weeks ago, for the better. Milk and dairy is one of the items that most grocery stores receive every single day, they restock the shelves every morning. They have been every day since you went into quarantine.
            If you can’t get a delivery slot, and it sounds like you have good reason to not go out yourself, you can ask neighbors or friends from your area. People want to help! If that’s not an option for you, actual strangers are standing by to help as well. There are various mutual aid networks where people sign up volunteering to drop off groceries and prescriptions for those who can’t get out. Nextdoor.com also is connecting people in need.
            https://docs.google.com/document/d/18WYGoVlJuXYc3QFN1RABnARZlwDG3aLQsnNokl1KhZQ/edit
            has lots of resources, mutual aid networks, some area specific, some for the whole New York area.

        6. Baby steps…go to the store and get some milk and other items you need. Wash your hands when you get back home. Change your clothes and take a shower when you get back. There is plenty of food and your family will not suffer. It’s understandable to be anxious during these times, but being terrified is not going to help you and your family. Please consider looking into therapy. See if your company has an EAP program.

        7. Okay so these are definitely “anxiety spinning out of control” fears. You can get him milk. You just can’t get him milk the normal way. This is when you use delivery apps and your community support. Do you know anyone nearby (neighbor, family, church/temple/mosque member, colleague) that you can text saying “hey, we’ve been put under quarantine due to potential exposure to someone and can’t get to the grocery store. On your next trip can you pick up a few things for me and leave them on my doorstep? I’d really appreciate it. I can Zelle/venmo you the amount.”

          Use some yogic breathing techniques to help you calm down and move forward as of all problems, this one has an easy solution. Focus on what you can do and not what you can’t control – and you can get milk and food for your family.

        8. With sympathy, you sound very much like my child when she is on the verge of a panic attack. Logical solutions and explanations do nothing to alleviate her anxiety. It’s a medical problem exacerbated by the current situation.

          Disagree with the poster who suggested that trust in leadership is related to calm v. panic about the food supply. I could not be more opposed to the current administration. During our 14 days in quarantine I was panic-ordering and worried about the availability of food. On day 15 I went to the grocery store, saw how normal everything looked, and now I am fine.

          1. And this child is not young – I am not saying you sound like a child. I am saying you sound like a person on the edge of a panic attack.

          1. +1,000

            OP, the best thing you can do for your family is take care of your mental health. Please do this.

          2. Oh sure I’ll just go to a shrink. Just kidding! There.are.no.therapists.the.world.was.cancelled.

          4. @ OP – my next door neighbor is a psychiatrist – he is continuing to see both his in patient and out patient clients regularly via videoconferencing. Our state psychological assoc was very clear that video and teleconferencing is available from most therapists.

            The situation is not normal but your anxiety is clearly not based in reality. Please get mental health help for the sake of your family if you won’t do it for yourself. Lots of mental health assistance is readily available. Start a new post asking for resources if you do not know where to go for help.

          6. Calling your primary care provider is the first step. They can do things like listen to your concerns, connect you with telehealth providers to help you deal with this and/or phone in a prescription depending on what the conversation yields. You’re not wrong for feeling what you feel or for your brain thinking intrusive thoughts, but please listen to everyone who’s compassionately telling you that your thoughts are not based in reality and that help is available.

        10. Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. Your anxiety is so palpable. Please look for some online therapy. At the very least do it for your kid.

        11. Why can you not get your child milk? Can no one in your house go to the store? Have you considered shelf stable ilk, and powdered milk? Why can’t you get milk?

    11. My grocery store was fully stocked when I went yesterday. I understand there was an instacart strike yesterday but I also heard that their deliveries weren’t impacted by the strike. There is plenty of food available. As someone else stated, unless you can not afford to buy food, I don’t think you need to worry about it.

      1. Instacart says their deliveries were not impacted, but that is not true. I had two instacart orders scheduled for yesterday and neither one ended up happening b/c no shopper “accepted” the order. NYC burbs. Not the OP.

        FWIW, I’m 100% in favor of wage increases, sanitizing gear, and mandating higher tips for Instacart shoppers. Not mad at them/their demands. Annoyed with Instacart corporate, though.

        1. There have been no Instacart delivery windows available at any store in my area for weeks. Even if you could get one, you couldn’t rely on anything’s being in stock.

        2. Honestly, the workers have a point. But there are other services and other grocery chains. And just reaching out and asking for help. Our neighborhood e-mail chain has several daily volunteers for the old and sick to shop for those who can’t or shouldn’t get out.

          1. yeah, our neighborhood emails are brimming with mutual aid messages, including on behalf of those that don’t have an internet connection.

    12. Right there with you. I am having so much grocery-related stress.

      1. Supply issues. It is still difficult to get fresh meats, dairy, eggs, and flour, and absolutely impossible to get toilet paper and cleaning supplies. I predict it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. The more stores I need to visit, and the more often I need to visit them, the more risk.
      2. Timing. I have enough food, paper goods, and cleaning supplies on hand to get our family through about six weeks, but it feels too soon to start tapping that reserve. Infections and hospitalizations aren’t predicted to peak in our state until May, and I’d like to time things so I don’t have to go out at all until well after the peak. That means I need to keep shopping for two or three more weeks. If I can’t get more toilet paper or disinfectant during those two or three weeks, we are going to run out right when we need them most.
      3. Dietary changes. Before this mess, we ate a ton of fresh produce, including fancy homemade salads for every lunch and low-sugar yogurt for breakfast. I bought mostly organic meats, berries, greens, dairy, eggs, and grains because of pesticide concerns. All oils were expeller-pressed to avoid solvents. We ate virtually zero ultra-processed foods, and those we did eat were very carefully screened for preservatives, sodium, added sugar etc. Now I am only buying produce that comes in a sealed package or can be washed with soap, and it’s hard to keep fresh produce around when shopping every 10 – 14 days. I’m avoiding Trader Joe’s and the fancy grocery store because they are so crowded, so I’m having to make do with whatever I can find at Food Lion and Wal-Mart. Lunch has devolved to PB&J with apple slices, there is no yogurt of any kind to be had anywhere, and dinners are meatier and starchier than ever.
      4. Power outages. Where we live, even a thunderstorm can result in a power outage that lasts 24 hours or longer. Every couple of years, a hurricane hits in August or September and knocks out power for as long as a week. We just put a second fridge in our garage. It would be absolutely devastating to lose all that food in the midst of the pandemic. What if I had to go out shopping at the peak, taking a huge risk of exposure? What if the stores were empty? It would also be a pretty substantial financial loss.

      Bottom line, it is deeply unsettling to realize how little power I have to ensure that I can even feed my family. It makes me wish I were a crazy prepper with a cabin in the woods, a garden, and the ability to hunt and fish.

      1. You are a crazy prepper and not in a good way. There is food. There are supplies. Your panic and hoarding is the only problem.

        1. No, you are buying into the government’s dangerously untruthful messages that everything will be fine. Witness the mask controversy. Of course N95 masks protect people from breathing in the virus, and of course surgical masks keep people from spewing it out all over everyone else! The real problem is that there aren’t enough, but the government is trying to hide that part.

          1. I honestly feel the same way about the CDC apparently straight up lying about whether masks help curb transmission. I’m also aghast that the thieves who stole thousands of these supplies anticipated the demand for masks and sanitizers sooner than hospital administrations did.

          4. Point by point:

            >No, you are buying into the government’s dangerously untruthful messages that everything will be fine.
            What government? My governor has us on a stay at home order with all businesses closed.

            >Witness the mask controversy.

            What controversy? Masks help.

            >Of course N95 masks protect people from breathing in the virus,

            The virus is in droplets, not airborne, AND it can enter through your eyes. N95 is not a magic shield , it’s just helpful.

            >and of course surgical masks keep people from spewing it out all over everyone else!

            I mean, to some extent, but again, not a magic 100% thing

            >The real problem is that there aren’t enough, but the government is trying to hide that part.

            Well, no, the real problem is that there is a highly infectious virus. Masks help but they’re not THE THING. And, again, which government? I see your CDC link. Agencies make mistakes therefore you read about them backtracking. That’s not a conspiracy or a coverup, that’s how science and recommendations develop.

            Your hysteria is not helping, take it down a notch.

          6. This post is written in a dramatic way, but the mask situation is alarming. There IS good evidence that they help curb transmission (in both physical and social ways). The supply issue is the main issue, but I’m angry that the message was “they don’t work” because it is objectively, verifiably false.

          7. The population of this country didn’t suddenly double as a result of this. It’s not like people are eating twice as much food. The comparison to masks is not an accurate one at all.

          8. The comparison is about the message. If we couldn’t trust the government and even, initially, the news media, re. masks, why should we believe the message “it will all be fine” about the supply chain for food and toilet paper?

          9. If it wasn’t helpful to deny that any problem exists, why do you think it’s better to jump to the worst possible conclusion? The world isn’t black and white.

      2. Is there a CSA farm share program near you? If you sign up for one of those you’ll have 20+ weeks of guaranteed food delivery every week with a tiny chain between you and the farmer. Might give you some peace of mind.

      3. Are you able to get a generator? I’m seeing several in stock at Costco — granted, they’re expensive, starting at $500, but when we got one and used it for a hurricane last year, it absolutely paid for itself when you consider that it saved our freezer and kitchen fridge (not to mention I do a lot of homemade freezer meals and I’d probably cry if all my food I made from scratch was lost). Home Depot might be a good source as well. When we got one, I made sure it was one that worked on both gas and propane, because propane is easier/safer to store.

        Do you have room for a garden? It might alleviate your anxiety to start growing some of your own lettuce/carrots/onions/tomatoes etc. I’m planning on putting in a small garden bed and planting only those 4 things. Tomatoes are wildly successful where I live, and I was eating on them all summer.

        And finally, I am not a member of the l d s church, but I do think they have the right idea when it comes to self preparedness and food storage (ok, maybe not a year, but at least a month. I can’t believe the CDC only recommends having 3 days of food on hand). Did you know you can preserve eggs (without refrigeration) if you coat them in food-grade mineral oil? Amazing. I have been looking at their resources and they have SO many ideas for making self-stable meals, cooking without power, etc. I really like the stuff by Wendy DeWitt (if you search her name on Youtube, the first thing that comes up is her food storage seminar “#1 best food storage” video) and she has a PDF with all her recipes. I am not at the point where I’m canning my own meat, but she does have a lot of tips/tricks/ideas and I liked her matter of fact tone. Like, you can do this, it’s fine. You’ll be fine and eating brownies in an apocalypse.

      4. In the meantime, you can lay down stores of Cheerios, ChefBoyArdee, and skittles. All can be eaten cold and are shelf stable.

        1. I definitely stocked up on sardines and kippers for this reason (similar concept but more diabetes friendly). Our power is usually stable but we’ve had outages lately because, I guess, when it rains it pours.

      5. We lost power last week during a snowstorm and DH was terrified (and having an anxiety attack) that we would lose all the food – at 2:30 am I might add. Knowing that food in the fridge can only last 4 hours with no power, I got up at 5:30 am and literally filled bowls with snow and stuffed them in the fridge. The food survived, thankfully. If you have freezer space, consider bags of ice so that if you do lose power, you can transfer the bags of ice to the fridge and create an ‘ice box’. Food in the freezer will last 24-48 hours.

      6. I’m surprised you live in this kind of area and do not have a generator. I live in a very rural area. When our power goes out, we are the very last to go back on line. I have two freezers that are FULL. I’m not risking losing all that food (and the money and time invested in stocking those freezers and freezing stuff from my garden,) so I have a generator to keep the freezers running.

        I get that now may not be the time to go to Lowes or wherever and buy a generator. But when you live in an area prone to power outages (and a hurricane-prone area, at that,) a generator may be a wise investment.

        1. I live in a hurricane prone area and when there is a storm coming, I cook down my freezer and fridge in the days leading up to it. By the time the storm rolls around there’s very little that isn’t either shelf-stable and in the freezer to prolong quality (flours, nuts) or can be thawed and eaten in the next day or two. Generators are convenient but they’re far from an investment.

    13. If you post your location, folks may be able to help you brainstorm. I am near a major city and there is plenty of food at the grocery stores. If you don’t want to go out, you can get grocery delivery through many different services. There are also lots of farms that do CSAs that they deliver, so that’s another excellent source of fresh produce (with the bonus of supporting a local business). If you are nervous about this being long-term, stock up on items that last and don’t require refrigeration — canned fruit and veg, shelf-stable milk alternatives (rice, soy, etc.), canned and dried beans, rice and grains, meat jerky and dried sausages, and dried herbs and spices and chilies and jarred olives, capers, preserved lemons, curry paste for flavoring. We are not in a time of scarcity and your reactions reflect profound anxiety, which is totally understandable, but it’s not about food.

    14. I get why there is so much anxiety about this and I actually personally find a grocery store much more stressful than anything else right now because of the visual impact of the empty shelves, other people hoarding items that are not available for me, everyone wearing gloves and masks, etc. However, in your case, one of you needs to either place an order with Instacart or go to the store today. You have reached the point where the store is the less mentally damaging option. There is food there and you need to not snap at your family for eating it.

    15. We are in NOLA, which is a very bad outbreak area, and went to the store Sunday for the first time in two weeks. There was plenty of all food items we wanted. We got everything on our list with the exception of toilet paper and lysol spray/wipes. There was milk, bread, produce, meat, etc. Please, for your sake, and your family’s, take a breath and calm down. I know it’s super scary and this is a crisis, but you have to find a better way to cope with this, or you will not make it (or you will permanently traumatize your child.) Maybe a brief meditation with some positive affirmations when you start feeling this anger spiral? I use the Calm app.

    16. Have you been to a store recently? Everything is in stock now pretty much, although you might have to go to a couple stores if you really care about specific brands. Gently, it is not normal or mentally healthy to order your family members to eat less because you’re scared of running out of food.

      1. There is nothing normal about this situation. I’m not crazy, this is reality. I don’t know what happened on your grocery run a few weeks ago but mine was horrific. The crowds and lines were like sandy times 100. People in my area of the country are selfish and violent and hardest hit by I don’t know …ten times any other area? Sorry but it’s not normal out there. Pretending I’m crazy might make you feel better but this is real life now.

        I am scared of the very real possibility that leaving the house kills us. I can’t get us food and it’s very difficult to believe there is more food in stores now, when delivery is suddenly unavailable.

        1. Nowhere in the comment you’re replying to said you were crazy. I get that you’re scared, but now you’re just turning that into an excuse to be a d!ck to people who are trying to help you. You should probably just log off at this point.

        2. You keep harking on what it was like weeks ago. Multiple posters have confirmed things at stores are much better now. Why won’t you go to the grocery store and see for yourself? If it is truly terrible then leave and you’re in no worse of a situation than you are now

          1. Because the virus is everywhere and people are being called murderers for playing basketball in ny? That’s where we’re at.

            I was supposed to hoard the masks but I have none, because I’m a dumb fool who tried to do the right thing.

            Because I really don’t believe that there aren’t insane crowds fighting for simple groceries?

          2. Please call your doctor and get an appointment with a therapist. Contrary to your comment above most are doing virtual sessions which may even make it easier because you aren’t limited to just those in the immediate area.

            You are catastrophizing everything. Gently, I’d also suggest a break from the internet and this board in particular you are spinning yourself up

          3. If there were crowds literally fighting over the last jug of milk, black-Friday-style, you would have seen footage. Not three week-old footage of people demanding toilet paper, but current news. If you don’t believe us (even though you came and posted here, asking if anyone was having similar issues), do what I did and talk to colleagues or neighbors. Ask them if they’ve been to the store the last week and listen to what they’ve observed. You need to connect with reality now, not fixate on what you saw weeks ago.

        3. OP, I do not think you are crazy. But, unless you or your family suffer from some underlying condition that you have not mentioned, there is not a very real possibility that leaving the house will kill you. Really. That is anxiety talking – there is nothing in the evidence to suggest that. Covid is bad, but it is not ebola. And thinking about the situation like that is not going to help you, or your family. Go outside and take a walk and you will see that for yourself.

        4. The situation is not normal but your reactions are not at all proportional or fact based.

          I have friends and family in northern Italy so don’t try your ‘ no one knows how bad it is’ bit on me. Stop looking for attention. Buy your food and get yourself some help.

        5. That was actually exactly my point. Shelves WERE empty a few weeks ago. They’re almost fully-stocked now. If you would just GO TO THE STORE you would realize how much better things are now.
          Delivery is unavailable in my area, fwiw. Delivery being unavailable does not mean food is unavailable in the physical store. They are entirely separate services. Delivery requires people to do the delivering to you and that’s where the shortage is, not with the food.

    17. I don’t know where you shop, but Walmart has policies in place to stop the hoarders (no one is allowed to buy more than two of anything), and I heard that Costco is enforcing social distancing particularly well for staff and customer safety. Depending on your location, also consider Asian markets and other import stores that may not be shopped out yet; roadside stands (with restaurants closed, all that “farm-to-fork” local meat and produce needs to be sold right now!); and co-ops. My household has significant medical dietary restrictions, so I completely understand the anxiety about specific things going out of stock. But I’ve been able to find what we need with a little extra effort.

    18. I’m a little irritated at my husband for plowing through snacks like there’s no tomorrow when I’m really trying to limit trips to the store. He’s never heard of rationing the good stuff. (It’s also costing us more in groceries that come from the shared budget, as opposed to his work lunches out, that come from his fun money.). I’ve been going to a different grocery store than usual, but was able to get 95% of what was on my list this week. I’m not rationally worried about a food shortage, but if he doesn’t limit his consumption, we’ll increase exposure the more we have to shop. That, and I’m trying to diet, and it’s hard enough to stay on track when things are this stressful and scary, and watching him inhale an entire bag of chips (that I just bought yesterday) doesn’t help. I think none of us are at our best. Breathe, and just take it one day at a time.

      1. Per The Directrice — let’s not start off by eating like raccoons, out of packages; saving that for the end.

    19. I’m in NYC and there’s plenty of food in grocery stores.

      I was a small child in the late 80s and early 90s in Russia, when food was legitimately scarce. One year for my birthday my mom made pancakes with sour cream mixed with sugar and some chocolate powder she was able to find. I loved them so much I asked for them for special occasions going forward for YEARS even after regular sweets became available.

      I still remember them fondly. I didn’t put two and two together on this story until I was an adult.

      Your kid will be fine, I promise. Take care of yourself — I’m sending you socially distant hugs.

      1. I love this story. I think a sense of perspective is so so necessary! I love that my friends are planting ‘victory gardens’ but I also think it’s absurd to panic bc the exact brand of pasta you want is sold out.

      2. I have similar stories from relatives who grew up in post-WWII scarcity and the very peculiar scarcity of socialist East Germany. A relative of mine also has a favorite birthday ‘cake’ (I think it’s vile, lol), that goes back to his mom throwing something together after the war.
        In East Germany, they always had food and goods, but not the variety and selection of today. Bananas and Citrus only a few times a year (but coffee imports were prioritized, because people can not go without coffee, ha!). After the reunification, a friend excitedly spent her first Deutschmarks on the glamorous purchase of two-tone toothpaste, because the toothpaste in the east was just one color! Not trying to sound nostalgic about ‘simpler times’ or anything, but people didn’t go hungry. My relatives have also taught me that the best way to start a buying frenzy is a sign that says ‘only one per customer’.

        1. Have you heard about the East German coffee crisis? At one point towards the late 70s the Ostmark was particularly weak so importing coffee was more difficult. People were using Kaffeemix instead, chicory-based. Problem was it wasn’t ground as finely and coffee machines were blowing up all over the GDR for a couple of months! One of my favourite stories about the real effects of exchange rates.

          1. I know! Then they tried to build up coffee farms in Vietnam (because it was easier trading commodities with other Eastern Bloc countries), but it took pretty much until the Wall fell to get the production going.

      3. Fellow Russian here from the same timeline – my mom made “candy” out of chocolate powder, powdered sugar, and butter. She froze them in little balls and they were special treats to have maybe one a month. Also we drank powdered milk. It was fine. I am SURE you can find powdered milk on Amazon. Or formula, I bet your child will like it even better than milk. We also ate “omelettes” made out of powdered eggs. They were fine too. And we stretched meat by boiling the bajesus out of it and making three different days’ worth of food from one sad shank. I’m fine and healthy.

    20. I live downtown right next to a grocery store. I know for a fact we’re not running out of food anytime soon because trucks are backing up at the store with deliveries all damn day and night.

    21. I’m just frustrated because it no longer feels possible to obtain food without someone calling me a monster. Before the strike, people insisted that you should be getting delivery – if you physically went to the store, you were a bad person committing literal violence against elderly, disabled, impoverished members of your community. Now getting delivery makes me a scab, but also, no one should buy food for the first week of April because that’s when people on food assistance get their benefits renewed. I should have stocked up to prepare for this, but hoarding food is wrong.

      I got groceries last weekend and, realizing that I’d been overdoing it on the errands, decided to make those groceries last as long as possible, planning to re-up this week, but now if I do that I’m taking food out of babies’ mouths, I have to wait until next week.

      It just feels like there’s way too many rules about how to ethically get food.

      1. To this I would say take a step back from being online and reading the internet. Go to your normal grocery store and buy your normal items as available. On the internet everyone will call everyone a monster. In real life, everyone knows that people need to eat. The ethical way to shop right now is to avoid running over anyone on the way to the store. Go get the things you need. Breathe. “Ethical consumption” has always been problematic, don’t twist yourself in philosophical knots. Go get your food.

      2. OK, you literally can’t meet all these criteria, and you need to make peace with that because you still need to buy food. Decide on 1-2 values you want to uphold for your buying during this time. Take reasonable precautions and don’t hoard sh!t.

      3. Seriously, just get food in a way that works for you and stop caring what everyone else thinks.

      4. my blood pressure went up reading this entire thread. I’m in MA. We are not high risk. We have gone to the grocery store twice, once the day we learned schools were closing (3/12) and again 3/21. We are due for another trip, but if I didn’t go for 4-5 days, it’d be fine. we’d just be eating a lot of pasta, meatballs, and random veggies from the freezer.

        I will give y’all a tip from my kindergartner. I was telling her about the crazy people hoarding toilet paper (to be fair, it was because she’d used an entirely excessive amount) and then we counted up all the rolls we had in all the bathrooms and decided worst case we would run out at the end of April. And then we counted all the packages of baby wipes we had and figured out we could make it to July. And then we found 4 boxes of tissues, 20 rolls of paper towels, and a giant package of napkins. and THEN my kindergartner said “why would I wipe my butt with a paper towel? Can’t i just shower after I poop?”. And that, my friends, is how you need to approach this. Worst case, you have to wipe your butt with a washcloth or take a shower after you poop. First world problems.

        2. I’m sorry but a having a hygienic, safe,reliable way to deal with feces doesn’t seem like a first world problem to me.

      5. the PSA about people on food stamps or benefit was watered down immediately because not every state or county distributes them on the first of the month. Buying enough for 2-3 weeks at a time is not hoarding, so try to think through what you need for that time and this stranger on the internet gives you explicit permission to buy that without guilt.

      6. Wait “ethics” and other people’s judgment is what is causing you food anxiety? 1) No one knows how much food you’re getting but you so who cares and 2) the most ethical way to shop right now is to limit your grocery store trips and not over hoard – it has always been normal to buy a little more than you need right now so you don’t run low at home. What is not ethical is anxiety spiraling your way into food scarcity and policing your family’s food. Life is not black or white – get your baby some milk ffs.

    22. Costco has done a great job to prevent hoarding and when I went midday last week, they had everything in stock with the exception of toilet paper and Lysol.

      Another option for everyone – some of the local restaurants and caterers in my area (Nashville) are doing “family meals” and mini CSA-style boxes to unload their produce deliveries that they are unable to use. Call around to see if anyone local is doing this in your neighborhood. Even some chain restaurants (Taziki’s, Chuys) are offering this.

    23. I live in a ny surburb too within commute distance to the city. Are you in NewRo? If so, we are neighbors! I promise you the grocery stores are calming down. We went to TJ in eastchester and WF in Yonkers recently and it was FINE. Did I wear masks and gloves? Yes. But did I get everything we need? Yes to that as well. Hmart in Yonkers is well stocked too according to my neighbor!

      1. How come everyone has a mask? I thought we weren’t supposed to have them? I just don’t believe life has come to this. The government lied and now I’m endangering my family for trying to be a good person and not hoarding masks.

        1. OP, you can put a bandana over your mouth. That will work for your purposes. You’re allowed to go get your family what it needs.

        2. Calm. Down.

          You will be fine. Regardless of our incompetent federal government leadership.

          Take a deep breath.

        3. I get it. You’re having serious anxiety. I also get anxiety and recognize this.

          1) The stores are much calmer now. I guarantee it. I stayed in the house for 16 days and left for groceries. The store was 100xs better stocked than the run I made 2 days before the governor locked down my state.

          2) You can buy a mask on Amazon. I did last week.

          3) Whole Foods delivery through Amazon is hopeless. Most of my items are sold out. Don’t think that means normal stores are sold out, though.

          4) You can go to a corner store or gas station for milk, eggs, bread, etc.

          You got this. I really think you should call your doctor about a prescription to help these scary thoughts. But you can get food for your son.

    25. The answer to this, in addition to therapy, is to acquire a two-week (or one-month, if it makes you feel secure and you have the space) supply of shelf-stable food (including shelf-stable or evaporated milk) that you set aside and agree not to touch. Then purchase groceries for the week or two weeks between store trips/deliveries. There is food available. There is no need for you to be living on anything much different from what you were living on a month ago. Fresh produce, milk, juice, meat, etc. are all available.

  7. Last fall, I applied to two year professional master’s programs in my data science-y field. I’ve been accepted to my top choice with a substantial (75%) scholarship. I’m getting concerned about how COVID-19 may disrupt the academic program, but I’m more worried for how the recession will affect recruiting opportunities, particularly for internships for summer 2021. I have to make a decision in the next two weeks or so in order to try to negotiate deferring a year with the program (I can still decide not to go later, but I would likely have to reapply to be considered for next year). My company and job is stable, but I’m burned out on working there and there’s no more room for growth for my role. What would you do?

    1. I can’t speak for your particular field but I’m still getting the same amount of recruiting emails per week as before (pharma, on the data side). So I’d advise to continue with your plans for grad school. Internships might be different but not completely eliminated. Keep pushing forward.

  8. Regarding “Caveat that it’s a small study and not peer-reviewed, but there’s a recent study out of China that says that the infectious viral load you’re initially exposed to may be a significant factor in whether you get mild or severe COVID19 illness” yesterday:

    I’m not the OP of the post but there seem to have been a few articles on this a few days ago (last one appears to link to the study mentioned). Although I haven’t actually read the articles yet (and have no idea as to the credibility of each of these sources), sharing because it seems interesting.

    https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/03/is-viral-load-key-to-understanding-coronaviruss-severity.html

    https://www.newscientist.com/article/2238819-does-a-high-viral-load-or-infectious-dose-make-covid-19-worse/

    https://www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(20)30232-2/fulltext

    1. This makes me worried for people in hospitals, incl. housekeeping staff, who are exposed to the sickest people nearly constantly.

      2. Yeah, I don’t know if this was supposed to make us feel better, but really it just adds on to my anxiety about my family members who are health care providers.

        3. I agree that it is a grim outlook for healthcare workers, but for everyone else, it means that we have more control over this than we maybe thought. It reminds us that this isn’t a unavoidable bad outcome (if you get infected, you’re done for, and so is everyone around you). It means we don’t have to panic about touching a public surface, as long as we’re able to wash our hands soon and not touch our face. It means that stepping up hygiene at home has an effect (meanwhile lazy-as-ever hubby is trying to sell me on ‘if one of us gets it, the other one will surely get it, so there is no point in changing our shlubby home routines). Even if eventually all members of the household get infected, the lower the germ load, the less severe the illness. So keep wiping those surfaces, light switches, banisters and water taps. Keep washing those towels. Every bit helps.

    2. I can’t see the first two articles, but the Lancet article looks at the viral load on nasopharyngeal swabs. To me that sounds as if the virus is replicating more in the sicker patients and making them more contagious, not that people exposed to more virus in the environment get sicker. Caveat: not a doctor.

        1. I was reading it that way, too, but as a positive, it’s more information about the person who was tested — i.e., if your viral load from the swap is relatively high, medical intervention is more likely to be needed.

  9. This morning, I asked my husband Question A. He said some things that were completely unrelated. I asked him what he thought he said and his response was “I thought you said something about [B].” I guess he has a hard time hearing and it seems that he knew he didn’t completely hear what I said, but didn’t ask me to repeat anything. We usually text occasionally during the day (usually re dinner or takeout when one of us is leaving work), so that is maybe why this is seeming new to me now.

    He is 50ish, so I guess this isn’t unexpected or even remarkable.

    1. It’s not always a hearing issue. Sometimes it’s an attention issue. My husband’s hearing is just fine, but he interrupts me all the time because he is focused on his own thoughts and doesn’t even notice that I am speaking to him.

        1. So the ideal older dude hearing screening is hearing test combined with ADD screening? If so, can I send my spouse for a test? His TV volume suggests some hearing loss (worse than his peers, to judge by their TV volume levels for NFL games and shows generally) but the attention span issues cloud things for me trying to get him to register what I’m saying. I send him a lot of calendar reminders vs verbally reminding him of things after feeling that that was futile.

          1. Hearing test combined with screening for ADHD and also general self-centeredness.

    2. Kind of a funny story, but in her 50’s my mom was so worried she was losing her hearing she wouldn’t even go to the doctor (that’s another story). She finally did, and it turns out her ears were clogged with ear wax. One flush at home with an over the counter kit solved that problem!

    3. I read that our ears are designed to protect themselves from loud noises that occur in nature. The noise made by machinery circumvents this protective mechanism because (if I understand correctly) it intersperses high and low pitch in rapid succession, which is just about the worst thing for hearing even if the volume isn’t painfully loud. As for volume itself, few communities have laws in place to prevent public events from reaching volume levels that are known to damage hearing (some want this to change since many loud public events are attended by families, and children are both especially vulnerable and cannot consent). They do make special headphones for children that only go up to safe volumes, and those volumes are definitely lower than what many people are accustomed to on headphones. The outcome of all these choices and norms is that practically everyone is expected to need hearing aides sooner or later, and many people are already walking around with impaired hearing. This is what I recall from the last time I read up on this.

  10. I know a few people have mentioned liking Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries – has anyone’s seen the 60s spin off series? I watched the first episode last night and went in with really low expectations, but I ended up thinking it was cute and fun, even though it lacked some of the charm of the original for me. Definitely a good way to kill time since the episodes are like 85 minutes long.

    1. I’m confused . . . are you referring to a series that was filmed in the 60s, or one that is set in the 1960s? (What streaming service, please?)

      1. One set in the 60s. It’s on Acorn, which I can get from my library for free. It’s called Ms. Fishers Modern Mysteries, I believe, and is about a long lost niece of Phryne’s.

    2. Yes, I’m watching it right now since I got a free trial of Acorn to watch the Miss Fisher movie. It’s clearly trying hard to mimic the charm of the original and doesn’t quite make it, but it’s still pretty fun and just what I’m in the mood for these days! It’s also available through my library’s Hoopla, but I hadn’t gotten around to watching it there.

        1. I liked it. Felt a bit like fan fiction also not as good as the original series, but it was just what I wanted in the world right now!

      2. They are a crazy choice, but at least comfy vs heeled strappy sandals shown with work outfits IN THE WINTER. They are like fancy gladiator Tevas. Considering how shockingly casual our formerly really casual office will be in we ever go back, I bet I see these come . . . June? September? Here’s hoping for June.

      1. Body con sweater dresses (with stripes!) is not going to look good on most body shapes. This dress would make my booty look huge in a not-work appropriate kind of way.

      2. I think the dress is meh, but do people really lounge around the house on weekends in sweater dresses??

        2. I am a total dress person who wears sheath dresses to work and t-shirt dresses around town, but I never wear dresses at home. That’s just weird. A dress isn’t functional for climbing on things or bending down to scrub things or drawing one’s knees up while sitting on the couch.

      3. I would like the dress cut in half. I’d wear the top half or the bottom half with other things, but not together. (Imagine the skirt with a white tank and a chambray shirt worn as a jacket.)

    3. Oh I really like them! Not with this dress, but they’d be great with my typical summer wardrobe.

    4. They are immensely fugly, and yet I’d wear them. I’ve been looking at some Sorel sandals which are equally fugly to these and will probably pull the trigger on them when things ease up and I don’t feel guilty about completely frivolous online purchases. The truth is, that while I aspire to “elegant”, my comfort zone is “basic, but edgy”.

  12. I need to get a thingie to hold my iPhone (giant iPhone 8) on my arm for when I go running (i.e., walking with intent to jog some). I see other people with them, but what is this called and where can I get one?

    I don’t use earbuds; I am just tired of holding it in my hand. I don’t need it to hold keys also if that matters.

    1. An armband??? You can get them pretty much anywhere – Amazon, Target, Walmart, etc.

    3. Another option that I really like is called the FlipBelt, you wear it around your waist and it can hold quite a bit. It eliminates arm chafing/rubbing.

    4. If you’re not using it for music with wired headphones, I’d recommend a waistpack instead of the arm band (frankly, even with headphones I’d recommend that). Try a FlipBelt. I don’t even notice it. Those armbands are awful (they slip, they’re bulky, they chafe, etc.).

  13. Looks like I’m going to have to start getting up before my SO. I hadn’t realized how much I valued my alone time until now. Before everything went online every morning I would get onto campus 2 hours before my 9:30 AM class, so I could have time to drink some tea, work on assignments, do whatever I needed to get done most urgently that day. Most of the buildings were empty and the people who were around were all in that same mindset so they left me alone for the most part.

    Don’t get me wrong, these problems are really minor problems to have (and if this is the worst part of quarantine I’m doing okay), but now I’ve got someone who’s teleworking on a much looser schedule, playfully dragging me back into bed (not exactly what I need when it’s 7AM and I really would rather go back to sleep), chit chatting through breakfast, showing me things on social media, coming over to my work space to tell me about interesting things they’ve found, and PMing me cute animal gifs. Don’t get me wrong, I honestly couldn’t pick a better quarantine buddy, but man I’m used to having my mornings to myself without any other distractions. It’s like the one time I can guarantee I will be able to focus before all my energy’s been spent on class or other real life things. I hate waking up before him when I don’t absolutely have to, and even when I do I’ll wait as long as humanly possible because I’m a huge cuddly person, but I don’t think I can have my productivity take a hit like this.

    1. Honey, I really depend on undisturbed time for the first two hours in the morning to be productive and sane. Can we pretend that we’re not in the same house until my morning class is done?

    3. Do it! From the other side, DH gets up insanely early just to slink off and watch TV I don’t like–I get to the whole bed and all the pets’ snuggles while I sleep in. Win-win!

    4. I wake up before my husband almost everyday to read, do yoga, and drink coffee. I need the time to myself. Even if he left me alone, I also need the quiet.

  14. There’s plenty of food at the stores and the supply chain is doing fine. Taking a trip out to the store may make you feel better. Maybe online therapy would help.

  15. Who else feels like the pandemic is bringing out the worst parts of your personality? I am quick to anger. I am super judgy about the people in my neighborhood who act like all is well and normal and are letting their kids play together. (I have worked hard in the past few years to get past my knee-jerk judgyness!) I am constantly low-level irritated all the dang time and hate myself for it. I love my family dearly but I’m getting almost zero alone time to regroup. My low dose of Zoloft is not enough for my anxiety during this, I guess. :( Basically I feel like a terrible person every single day, on top of the general worry about COVID.

    1. I feel you. I have been downright enraged about people who refuse to social distance or act like it’s all a joke or who even just aren’t considerate enough of others when they are still making some effort. However, I am being good to my family and friends. I’m not a monster, I’m just stressed af and have little tolerance for people who put us at risk.

    2. I feel like I’ve been really needy over the past two weeks, and worried it’s going to get so much worse over April. I live alone, I’m an extrovert, and this is one of the hardest things I’ve gone through (and i’ve lived far from a perfect or hardship free life). I’m trying not to be too needy with my friends and family, but I’m not sure I’m succeeding. To make it extra worse, I just started dating a guy I’m really into and worry I am scaring him off with my neediness during this time when it’s not normally a part of my personality

    3. Email your doc about upping your Zoloft if you think it will help and you are on a low dose. I’m also on a low dose and I’ve been looking out for the same issue.

      1. No idea if this is helpful for you, but – I’m on Wellbutrin and have an Ativan prescription for panic attacks/anxiety. I have been taking the Ativan slightly more often and even just having the knowledge it is there helps. Maybe a supplementary prescription could help. When I am just totally maxed out with WFH and an ornery teenager and a pent-up three year old it has just helped me stay sane.

        1. 10:33 here. Thanks, I have a Xanax rx for just this and I have been occasionally using it at night or when I feel things really ramp up.

    4. I don’t think you are a terrible person for being annoyed at neighbors who are flouting social distancing recommendations and requirements.

      1. My coworker said “if they were rating social distancing I’d be like a D- lol.” So irritating.

    5. I’ve about lost my patience with our neighbor about social distancing. He is middle-aged, extroverted, and lives alone. I see him every damn day at various houses up and down the street talking with people in their yards (not 6 feet apart). He has even done this to me (pregnant) and my husband multiple times. We’ve started hiding in the backyard which is fenced so he can’t corner us. He still goes out and piddles around town doing whatever it is he does all day and then comes back and occupies the balance of his time talking to people on the street. I know he’s bored, but good grief.
      When there’s an outbreak in our neighborhood, my finger points straight at him.

      1. Use your words. “Hey Tom, please don’t come by in person right now. We are adhering to social distancing orders in our house. Thanks!”

    6. This was me last week, particularly with work stuff. I made an effort to meditate for 10 minutes every day with a free guided mediation, and get out for a walk every day, for just like 2 miles (< 30 minutes). It definitely helped.

    7. I am the hermit-iest of hermits. Been inside my house without leaving since the 15th, and I haven’t had a single “Oh god I need human interaction” moment. I may completely forget how to act around actual live people before this is over, but at least I know I’ll be okay in a “Time Enough at Last” situation.

    8. I keep having the same fight with my husband. We agree we are going to stay where we are until social distancing is lifted. Then every few days he brings up some new reason why he wants to instead go back home which is one of the hardest hit places in the country. I have a condition that makes me at risk and it is really stressful for him to continually second guess what we agreed would be safest. Suggestions?

      1. Tell him he can go if he wants but that means you cannot see him until this is over? I mean he is a grown up who gets to decide his own relative risk (staying where you are vs. going home) but does not get to make that decision for you.

  16. Anyone ever deal with something similar? My feet have felt very hot for the past week or so when I sleep. Like hot enough that it prevents me from going back to sleep until I go get an ice pack. I generally sleep hot, but am usually fine if I stick my feet out of the covers. My AC is set to 69 and it’s still in the 40s outside where I am. I did some searching, but most of the medical issues seem to involve actual pain/needles/itching, which I don’t have – I just feel kind of hot. So good news is that it’s unlikely to be an actual illness. I’m actually wondering if the lack of going outside, way more sitting around during the day, or maybe just the change of seasons is doing something odd? I still work out every day, but it’s more jumping around HIIT cardio vs. biking or running as I used to do at the gym.

    1. Is your home heating running at 69 24/7?! That will be why you’re hot. Mine doesn’t even reach that during the day and at night I like to be much cooler.

      1. I live in a giant building, and it actually takes the air con running to get it DOWN to 68-69, even if it’s 40 outside. I probably should have mentioned it, but have lived with it so long that I forgot it isn’t normal to run your AC in the winter! I guess I could turn it down more…

    2. This happens to my boyfriend! He’s been to the doctor before about it and was told there’s nothing physically wrong with him, so it’s a mystery. He has a very physical job, so I’ve always thought it was being on his feet a lot. He keeps ice packs in the freezer and cold water bottles in the fridge all the time to put on his feet. We do also keep our temp at 64, especially at night, and that helps somewhat.

    3. How is your A1C? Do you know your B12 levels? My experience has been that symptoms of mild neuropathy can be surprisingly subjective (what one person experiences as “pain” or as “paresthesia” can feel like a hot–or a cold–temperature to someone else, or even at another time). It was also my experience that it took a lot of complaining to get doctors to take this seriously.

      1. (I should add that while I remember the tests that came back positive for me better than the tests that came back negative, there were other things they tested for once I was referred to neurology. And it did a little feel like overkill, both to me and to the doctors who brushed me off, until I finally tested positive for a treatable cause that was definitely worth treating. So I would recommend that you go with your gut if you think it’s nothing or something to follow up on; I think doctors brush things off as triage, counting on us to ask again if our symptoms are “real” and not just health anxiety.)

        1. Mind sharing the diagnosis?
          I have been tested and seen a neurologist as well as psychiatrist several times over the last couple of years regarding funky neuropathy in hands and feet.

          1. For me, they’re saying pernicious anemia now that I’ve finally tested positive for the antibodies. My test results were historically all over the place (my serum B12 was high instead of low, my homocysteine was normal), but PA runs in my family, and my symptoms vanished after a few months on the injections. There’s a good recent article on the “Many Faces of Cobalamin Deficiency” that helped me understand how both the condition and the potential therapeutic value of B12 shots were initially missed (it was about two years before a doctor suggested trialing the shots).

    4. If it’s not menopause/peri-menopause, then the other thing I find makes me hot at night is alcohol.

      1. +1 – if it’s menopausal related hot flashes, alcohol makes them much worse. Sadly.

  17. I am tackling my team’s share drive to fill in some work hours. Does anyone have guidelines they use and can share for share drive structure and folder conventions? (Not a lawyer.)

  18. Thoughts on whether the Down Dog yoga app is worth subscribing to? I have been enjoying the free trial, which ends tomorrow, and am thinking of subscribing so that I can maintain a daily practice from home but want to know if others have been using a yoga app that is better? If so, why is better? FWIW I’m an experienced yogi.

    1. They have extended the free trial for another month! And if you have any sort of .edu email address you can get it free until the end of the school year.

      I’m using the barre version and really enjoying it – for me the value over YouTube videos is that I don’t have to make any decisions, it will come up with a practice that’s different from the day before

    2. They’ve extended free trial another month, but I’m liking it enough that I’m seriously considering subscribing even after we’re all done with social distancing (one day…) and can go back to regular yoga studios.

      1. Me too – thinking of ditching my regular gym membership and doing Down Dog barre plus Classpass and running.

    3. I really like Down Dog, and I’ve been doing yoga regularly for 6 years. I do their intermediate-level classes and love that I can pick the type of music and the voice.

  19. Day 12 of No Quarantine – Yesterday our state issued a stay at home order. Today I am in the office because we are an essential business. I’m now supposed to be carrying a letter with my status with me when going to and from work. The construction workers remodeling our lobby keep setting off the fire alarm. Everything is feeling very distopian

    1. ‘Mobility Letters’ as my company is calling them really bother me for some reason. It feels so much like our right to travel/freedom of movement is being infringed upon (although I totally understand why!). My conspiracy brain keeps contemplating how many of our rights are being taken away while we are distracted and if it’s going to be possible to get them back at the end of this – especially true for some other countries, maybe not so much the US. Interesting topic to contemplate though… the world is weird right now!

      1. OMG, I’m the exact same way! My friends in healthcare keep saying how its all necessary “for the greater good” I can’t help feeling like I’m at the beginning of the Handmaid’s Tale. Also, maybe I’ve read Harry Potter too much but the phrase “for the greater good” sends chills down my spine

      2. Our civil liberties are being impeded. I’m not arguing that it’s not the right response to this pandemic, but I wish we were just acknowledging it a little more.

        1. So, about this – the most important human right is the right to life. Other rights can and should be modified where necessary to preserve that. I now can’t find it, but Sadiq Khan (Mayor of London and formerly a human rights lawyer) did a really good piece on this.
          Also fits into Mill’s Harm Principle for me.

          1. I’m not arguing that it isn’t necessary and I am of course adhering to the orders and social distancing as much as possible while being an essential employee. Maybe I’m more rabidly American than I thought because the stay at home order is giving me a general sense on unease much more than closing restaurants and non essential business did

          2. The problem with this line of thinking is how, when and who decides when we go back? Social distancing would probably also eliminate or significantly reduce deaths from the flu each year so one could argue we should keep this restriction on liberty in place forever. Also particularly with the currently administration I’m very very worried this is going to be used as an excuse to strip liberties and never give them back.

            I’m all for social distancing and fining peopel for gathering in groups over a certain size or operating a non-essential business but I am very much not ok with police being able to stop someone walking on the street and demanding proof they are allowed to be outside

      3. same here – I’m appalled at how easily we’re all willing to give up civil rights & start shaming people for minor “violations”. I also don’t think it’s the wrong response per se, but it absolutely feels like the start of the handmaids’ tale

      4. You don’t need a “mobility letter.” The so-called restrictions are a freaking joke and are not being enforced. According to our governor’s executive order, my employer should be shutting down its facility and allowing all employees to work from home. Instead, we got an e-mail from HR saying “In accordance with the governor’s order, our facility is open. If you feel it necessary to work from home, you must seek approval from your supervisor.” The idiots in my neighborhood are all out playing tennis, letting their children run wild on the street in packs, and coming up to pet my dog while I’m trying to walk her at least six feet away from anyone else.

  20. Two of my kids are meant to have their physicals this week, which include vaccination. I’d cancel my 2 yo’s appt in a heartbeat but not so sure about my 4 month old because I’d like him to get vaccinated because, generally, the wait time for physicals is a couple of months… the catch is, either I take both kids or cancel both.

    I guess my concern is mainly the 2 yo touching or what if the paediatrician/nurse is asymptomatic etc. The practice only allows well children in the mornings so not that concerned about other kids.

    What is everyone doing? Keeping or cancelling medical appointments that aren’t urgent?

    1. I had a biopsy cancelled on me.

      Neighbor is a dentist and they have been closed since early March.

      1. Oh that does put it into perspective… I would imagine a biopsy would be much more important than vaccination, considering that it’s not like we’re going anywhere right now!

        Hopefully you get to have it done as soon as possible!

    2. I’m letting my pedi determine what is medically necessary and following their guidance. Vaccinating a 4 mo old seems necessary. Can you leave toddler at home?

      In our case DD has her 2 mo old appointment in the next 30 days and needs vaccines. They’ve told us to still come in. Certainly that guidance could change, but we’re in a hotter spot (not NY or WA) and already pretty locked down as it is. They have multiple locations and have reserved one for well-visits only.

      2. Unfortunately not, I wasn’t thinking and forgot to ask hubby to block time off and now he has a meeting that can’t be rescheduled at the same time (ie. many people calling in all over the world).

        Even simple decisions are hard to make right now!

        1. Shielding well 2 year old from COVID > work phone call. Sorry. I’m in a really tough, global job that only got tougher with all of this so trust me when I hear I really, truly get it, but family and health trump ALL right now and I’m unapologetic about it as it relates to my work. I hope your husband can be flexible.

          1. True but I don’t consider the appointment in question critical – it’s very unlikely for the baby to catch whooping cough right now – it’s more that I want to follow the vaccination schedule. I don’t think that it trumps a phone call with regional CFOs when the whole company is in turmoil – if it was any normal meeting, then sure.

          2. “it’s very unlikely for the baby to catch whooping cough right now”

            I don’t know, I don’t think I’d be that convinced of that. I’d go get the baby vaccinated.

        2. With all the recent changes, I bet they can reschedule you at a time your husband is free.

    4. At least in my state, vaccinations for kids is still considered medically necessary. I’d call the practice and ask for their recommendations. Friends took their kid in for vaccinations earlier this week, and they said that everyone’s temperature was checked at the door, all staff were wearing masks, there were plexiglass barriers up everywhere between staff and patients, etc. Plus, they staggered appts so that only one patient/family was in a waiting room at a time. There also weren’t any toys in the waiting room, which at least helps with the issue of toddlers wanting to touch things.

    5. Ask your pedi. They may even come out to the car to do the Vax and leave the rest (weigh/measure etc) for another time. I would leave the 2 y/o at home.

    6. I just took my 6 mo for her vaccinations. There was no one else at the doctor’s office because they’d cancelled all non-vaccination well-child visits and other “elective” visits. The nurse and doctor both wore masks and gloves.

      I didn’t have to take my older child, but if I’d had to I would have and just brought lots of sanitizer and screens or whatever distraction I could. I think vaccinations are even more important now – want to avoid ER visits at all costs with my infant.

    7. Honestly I would ask if they can do the vaccine outside or in your car if that’s an option.

    8. We kept our baby’s well visit. They were very careful and staggered visits, wore masks, etc.

    9. I would call the doctor’s office and see what their opinion is, ask what precautions are in place, etc. I called before going to get a maintenance allergy shot last week, and they told me that only allergy shot patients were being seen and that precautions were in place etc. My temp was taken going into the building, all of the waiting chairs were 6 ft apart, etc. It was fine.

      My rationale for going was that if I don’t get the shots now, I will have to go through the whole buildup again later. Your kids’ appts are similar. It’s not that they’re urgent, but they are time-sensitive. You will have a hard time getting a physical appt later, and your kid probably needs his vaccines. Also, this may go on longer than a month– would you be ok not taking your kids to the doctor for 6 months to a year if this lasts longer?

    11. I would call. At our ped’s office all non-essential well check are delayed (under 18 months and kindergarten exams considered essential). I think at our office your 2 yo would not be allowed to come with you for the baby’s appointment, so you may need to reschedule just to get a time where you could only bring the baby (ie still get the exam/vaccines now but at a time that works). Actually, writing that out, that’s what I would request and then postpone the 2 yo exam until later. (We rescheduled by 2 yo and 6 yo for July and their bdays are May. Neither need vaccines)

    12. I also had a biopsy canceled but I think vaccines are actually more essential in a way. My pediatrician is canceling well checks for fully-vaccinated patients above 18 months but under 18 months you are supposed to go in and get the vaccines you need. I would definitely not cancel without discussing it with your ped.

      1. Because I wanted to make an informed decision and I wanted to know what other people are doing – some practices have delayed all vaccinations and others have barely changed the way they work. Ours has made only small changes (i.e. sick kids are only seen in the afternoon) and I think the risk of Covid right now is bigger than the risk of catching whooping cough, let alone hep A.

    14. Problem solved – I was able to reschedule both appointments (and, thankfully, take the baby in just a day later than planned). People must be cancelling those appointments because, generally, we have had to book the well child visits at least a month or two in advance and rescheduling them has been impossible!

  21. This is a long video from a doctor meant for other doctors (I think) about how to protect you and your family from spreading COVID-19. It’s long but worth watching and it actually made me feel better that this is do-able.

    https://vimeo.com/399733860

    1. I just sent the VIMEO to my Dad. He was also abel to provide me with some reassurance. He said that everyone is worried now about COVID 19, but that he does not know anyone who even heard of, nor remembered any of the other 18 COVIDs that we went through. So his question for me and Rosa, who had to say the 4 questions at PASSOVER SEDER (if we had them) why is this COVID different from any other COVID? And he said that we can’t do Passover b/c of Social distanceing, but that we will do it anyway VIA Facetime, WEBEX and Skype, so that Grandma Leyeh and Trudy can see Rosa’s kids on their computers or Ipads which they will prop on on their own tables! I think that is so cute! YAY for Dad for bringing all of this to my attention. If I had to pick the kind of guy I would marry, it would be a person JUST like Dad! YAY!!!

    1. This is a good reminder that grief takes many forms. I definitely went through the stages of grief when, after uterine rupture, I lost the option of having more kids. I didn’t realize that I was grieving until someone pointed it out, this realization made it so much easier to handle and process my feelings.

    2. Strange, I feel that my grief has really kicked up a notch. My mother’s 75th birthday would have been this past Saturday (she died at 49). Obviously her death happened over 25 years ago but I find that you carry certain types of grief forever. I’ve been crying at random times. I think this whole epidemic has given me more time to contemplate my life, and time to ruminate on all the ways I miss her.

      2. Same here. My mom passed away almost 4 years ago and the grief has been bubbling up a lot lately.

      3. Me too. My mom died 35 years ago and every once in a while I still cry for her.

  23. Nothing about this dress appeals to me other than it looks comfortable. Maybe if I didn’t have a mom belly and looked fantastic and appropriate in high contrast bright horizontal stripes in clingy fabric (like maybe <1% of all working women) I would get excited. And those shoes…OMG.

  24. This is a dress you have to be careful with. If you wear more than a B or maybe a C cup bra, this neckline is too low. You really don’t want to show cleavage. lOther than that, it’s a fine dress

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