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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 177 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Angel Two-Tone Stretch-Crepe Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Roland Mouret Angel Two-Tone Stretch-Crepe DressWhy are Roland Mouret dresses always so amazing? I'm not quite sure, but if and when I win the lottery, one of those will be one of my first splurges. This gorgeous blue and white dress — with origami-style pleats and black velvet details — is $2,560 at Net-a-Porter. Roland Mouret Angel Two-Tone Stretch-Crepe Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

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Comments

  1. Anon for this

    Gorgeous.

    Immediate threadjack: I’m going to a game at Ole Miss this fall. We’re spending a day in Memphis and then the weekend in Oxford. Any suggestions on what to do, where to eat, where to shop, etc.? We’re completely flexible on fancy-ness. And a note about whether we will need reservations would be super helpful. Thanks!

    • Muddy Buddy

      I went to Memphis a couple of weeks ago and ate dinner at Flight. It was delicious and fun. You do need reservations there.

      Have a great time!

    • ChinaRette

      Welcome to God’s country! On game weekends, Oxford’s population swells. Huge numbers of people everywhere. For fancy places, yes, I’d recommend trying to get reservations.

      Must do: visit Square Books on the Square, drive out to Taylor Grocery for catfish (it’s a several-hour wait on game weekends, but you might even just want to check out the scene, it’s so fun), Groving (even if you are supporting The Other Team, Ole Miss fans will still show hospitality to ya). If you’re into blues music or writers, I’d try to tour the University library. There, you can see tons of rare blues memorabilia and even William Faulkner’s Nobel Prize. Also, just going to the Square on a Friday or Saturday night is fun for people-watching.

      I personally love Ajax, which is on the Square, but it’ll be packed on a game weekend. Also good is City Grocery (the restaurant and the bar). Off the Square, my favorites are Snackbar (owned by the City Grocery folks) and Volta Taverna (great margaritas).

    • collegiette

      Swing by Zoe cosmetics on the square – it’s my cousin’s great little shop. Rendezvous BBQ in Memphis is a must.

    • delta blues

      Memphian here (and first ever post on this site!). I’d recommend walking around the South Main Area or Cooper-Young. If you’ll be here on a Saturday, both those neighborhoods have farmers markets. The one in South Main is better — crafts, food trucks, chef demos, puppy adoptions, and, oh yeah, plenty of delicious food — but it closes for the season on the last Saturday in October. South Main has fun, independent shops and galleries, and Cooper-Young is bursting at the seams with good restaurants (try Sweet Grass for low country food or Alchemy for fancy cocktails and small plates). Overton Park is also gorgeous in the fall and houses a golf course, natural areas, an old-growth forest, an art museum and art college, and the Memphis Zoo. For barbecue, I’d skip the Rendezvous and head into Midtown to Central BBQ or the Bar-B-Q Shop. Rendezvous is definitely a something to experience, but for my money, those two in Midtown are more consistently tasty. Have fun!

  2. In the Pink

    Good morning, hive.

    What are the “rules” for mixing animal prints with other prints? I know that the “modern” take is to mix prints of the same colors…seems hard to do and still seem professional.

    Here we go – how to deal with a modern take on fall’s favorite: animal prints.

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Personally, I wouldn’t mix animal prints unless they were the same but different textures. The trouble with mixing is that an animal print in itself is already pretty out-there so having two or more could take you over the edge. I would have thought something like a belt and a scarf or shoes and scarf or shoes and top, but only if I was looking at eg leopard and slightly bigger leopard, rather than, say, leopard and snake.

      Maybe the key is if one of the animals would eat the other in real life, don’t mix them. (Can you tell it’s Monday and my brain has taken a vacay?)

      • Monday

        I think she meant animal print + other print that is non-animal, not mixing more than one animal print (which I agree is pushing it). But I could be wrong.

    • Monday

      Eh, animal prints aren’t just a fall favorite. They’re classic. That said, I’m a devout pattern-mixer and also frequent animal-print wearer, and I still think that if you’re going to do both you have to be extra careful. I’d say for work animal print can only go with conservative pinstripe, pin-size polka dots, or windowpane. And I agree that in this case mixing patterns with the same colors, or at least overlapping colors, is a good call. Enjoy!

  3. I'm Just Me

    I did some t shirt shopping at Target this weekend.

    I got this one: http://www.target.com/p/merona-women-s-gathered-crossover-tee-assorted-colors/-/A-14129511 in the green/navy print, the blue/white polka dot and solid white.

    I got this one: http://www.target.com/p/merona-womens-gathered-neck-top-assorted-colors/-/A-13916176 which has been mentioned here before, in grey and purple.

    I also snagged a double weave skirt: http://www.target.com/p/merona-women-s-doubleweave-skirt-assorted-colors/-/A-13932495 in a berry/pink/fushia color for $5.99.

    All of the shirts are appropriate for going under a jacket or a cardigan. I moved around in the dressing room and think the crossover will be fine without any assistance, but may throw my fashion tape in the bag the first time I wear it out as a just in case move.

    • JessC

      I have the 2nd shirt in pretty much every color. I probably wear one of the at least once or twice a week. It’s a good weight and holds up well.

    • CJ

      I have the second. I actually don’t think it holds up that well, but is fine for $7-10 and being washable. I probably wear one 2-3x a week and have 6 or so. I think they last about the season- 4-6 months being worn 2x a month before they start to get faded.

    • KC

      It seems like Roland Mouret dresses are universally flattering. This one is gorgeous!

  5. LawyrChk

    Love love love this dress. Must find a comparable style in the sub-$200 range.

  6. Midwest

    Quick threadjack: I’m seven weeks pregnant and was planning to wait awhile longer to tell my boss and coworkers, but I have the potential to get outed today and I’m not sure whether to play dumb or just go with it. During a meeting today, we’re discussing whether to send someone to a conference in July that the head boss wants us to have a presence at. Due to the subject matter, I would be the person — if I weren’t on maternity leave. Do I say, “Sounds like a great opportunity, can’t wait to go!” knowing full well that I wouldn’t be able to participate? We’re a small group, so there’s nobody I can suggest to go instead. If I didn’t go, my boss would. I have a great relationship with my boss and she was more than fair to me during my last pregnancy and maternity leave, so I’m not worried about her reaction. I’m just not sure if I’m ready to reveal anything yet because it’s so early. Thoughts?

      • Research, Not Law

        This. Normally I would advise to not tell and just change plans later, but since you have a good relationship with her and already had a ‘successful’ pregnancy and maternity leave under her, I would pull her aside.

    • Michelle

      It’s early enough that she can change plans and sub for you and have plenty of time to arrange, I would not base timing of your announcemnet on a trip that’s still 9 months out.

    • anon

      YMMV, but I would not tell. I have suffered from IF and an early loss. The reason most ppl don’t announce early is that the risk of loss is high. Admittedly, I’m particularly pessimistic for myself, so I think you need to decide whether you really feel there is a high risk things might change (my guess is your risk is much lower than average since you already have had a successful pregnancy).

      Think about it this way. If you were looking for another job you would volunteer to go knowing there’s a chance you may not be around. You need to decide how likely it is that your plans might change and base your decision to tell on that. If you don’t tell, there will still be almost 8 mos for them to find an alternate (assuming you tell at around 12 weeks).

      And congratulations!!

    • SF Bay Associate

      Don’t tell. 9 weeks is weeks earlier than most people announce they’re pg for good reason. Hopefully, your pregnancy will continue to go well and you’ll be out on maternity leave next July, but pg is unpredictable. If all goes well, your company will have months and months to replace you once you announce officially in another month or more.

    • goirishkj

      If you are really worried, can you go ahead and tell your boss privately? This obviously depends on your office dynamic and your relationship with your boss. There’s really good reason why most people don’t tell before 12 weeks. That said, I told my boss at about 7 weeks because I was having lots of appointments. Everything was fine with the baby, but I had a hip injury and PT I was dealing with, plus I’m slightly high-risk so I had a few extra early appointments. So, there are also reasons to tell early. In my case, my boss had a working wife and two kids and I’m the only one in my group who is not yet fully a mom so I felt a little safer about telling. That said, it sounds like there would be PLENTY of time to have someone else go to the conference so absolutely don’t tell if you don’t feel comfortable telling.

      Good luck and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!

      • goirishkj

        Sorry, missed the part about working for this boss during a previous pregnancy! Regardless, this is a gut check. If she’s a discreet person (all bosses should be, but as we know not all actually are!) then it might make sense to tell. But if you aren’t comfortable telling her, I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with waiting.

    • Bluejay

      Personally, I would speak to my boss before the meeting and tell him or her that, due to personal reasons, I will be unavailable for the conference next July and ask that she select someone else but please not mention it to the rest of the staff. Unless she’s daft she’ll read between the lines and figure out why, but it’s not necessary to out yourself at this stage in your pregnancy.

    • j

      You have no obligation to tell. Seven weeks is too early. If you wait until 11-13 wks to privately tell your boss, you are still providing plenty of time to rearrange travel plans. There aren’t non-refundable plane tickets being purchased tomorrow, right? Enjoy the few weeks you have left to keep your wonderful news private. (and congratulations!)

    • Midwest

      Just got back from my meeting. Other stuff came onto the agenda, so the conference never came up, thank goodness. If it does, I think I’ll find a way to keep quiet from now. This confirmed that I am not ready to share yet.

  7. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

    Hey ladies, I wanted to come back and give an update on my event last Saturday. I had a really great time; there is something about being in a full length gown that automatically makes you feel elegant.

    Overall, the event was a positive experience. However, I had a conversation with a board member of the organization who coordinated the event where she dropped such nuggets of knowledge such as “black is back” “diversity is in, so you should make the fact that you are African American more prominent on your application materials” and (my personal favorite) “you should change your name to Lakeisha and you’ll have a job in no time.”

    As offensive as the conversation was, the positive was that it reminded me that just because the drinks were free, did not mean I should overindulge and not be able to control what I say.

    As for the fashion at the event, I did not have to worry as much as I did and could have worn a cocktail dress. There were women in everything from dresses that could be worn to the State Dinner to dresses that could be worn to the club. I was on the higher end of dressy, but did not feel overdressed.

    I went to Bobbi Brown in Nordstrom and had my make up done. It was nice, but since I don’t wear any make up ever, it was too much for me. I wore it to the event, but it took three washes to get it all off.

    All in all, I am happy with my experience and would gladly do it again.

  8. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

    Sorry for the double post; I used the dreaded c-tail word in the original.

    Hey ladies, I wanted to come back and give an update on my event last Saturday. I had a really great time; there is something about being in a full length gown that automatically makes you feel elegant.

    Overall, the event was a positive experience. However, I had a conversation with a board member of the organization who coordinated the event where she dropped such nuggets of knowledge such as “black is back” “diversity is in, so you should make the fact that you are African American more prominent on your application materials” and (my personal favorite) “you should change your name to Lakeisha and you’ll have a job in no time.”

    As offensive as the conversation was, the positive was that it reminded me that just because the drinks were free, did not mean I should overindulge and not be able to control what I say.

    As for the fashion at the event, I did not have to worry as much as I did and could have worn a c-tail dress. There were women in everything from dresses that could be worn to the State Dinner to dresses that could be worn to the club. I was on the higher end of dressy, but did not feel overdressed.
    I went to Bobbi Brown in Nordstrom and had my make up done. It was nice, but since I don’t wear any make up ever, it was too much for me. I wore it to the event, but it took three washes to get it all off.

    All in all, I am happy with my experience and would gladly do it again.

    • NOLA

      Wow, that’s just so completely out of line. How do you even respond to something so bizarre?

      As for the event, I’m sure you looked fabulous and I hope the craziness didn’t turn you off completely from having fun.

    • Susan

      Glad overall the experience was good.

      But wow, that board member was pretty out there. Do you think she meant it, or was she just making sloppy drunken jokes?

        • Susan

          Oh yuck. (Of course, it was already pretty darn inappropriate even if it was a joke.)

          The thing is, with folks who say this sort of awful stuff but with generally good intentions, I do think that some are “reachable.” However, at these types of events, there isn’t enough opportunity, and certainly, not enough invested for people to educate them.

          • Divaliscious11

            Sorry, but there is no “good intention” behind essentially saying …. that you may or may not be qualified for a job but because of your race you will get a look that may or may not be deserved.

          • Susan

            Someone who has idiotic racist ideas can still have misguided but good intentions, you know? I’ve been at the receiving end of these types of comments before, but sometimes, I think the person does have (very misguided, ignorant) but good intentions towards me.

            As in, they’re trying to say, “here’s a way you can get ahead, and I am OK with you doing that.” That’s a very misguided, unintentionally insulting thing to say nevertheless, because of the implications about qualification (as you point out), but I think the best way to try to bridge the chasm between us and people who are ignorant is to give them the benefit of the doubt w.r.t good intentions.

            No guarantee we can reach them (if we want to try), but we make it 100% harder if we assume their intentions are bad.

          • Leigh

            I actually agree with Susan here. I think she was absolutely out of line for making those comments, but I don’t think they were meant in a malicious manner.

            To be completely frank: I don’t think any of us can make an absolute statement that she had good intentions or did not have good intentions since (hopefully) none of us were the lady that made the statement.

          • Divaliscious11

            I guess we will just disagree and that is fine. If you make a bigoted comment (black is back), and follow up with another bigoted comment (play up your blackness), and yet a third (change your name to a purportedly “black” name) …. all in the course of one conversation… I’d argue your intention is pretty clear – heck lots of folks go to jail on less inference than that.

            To me its the same intention behind a back handed compliment, like “You’d be even more gorgeous if you lost a few more pounds….”

            Funny story – used to work with a woman named LaKisha, who was white (named after her mom’s friend), and it was a never ending source of amusement that people ALWAYS thought she was “Diva” and I was LaKisha…..

    • Cornellian

      Glad you had fun, looking forward to my first (non high school) floor-length gown event.

      Also glad you found some positive in that conversation! Impressive.

    • DC Jenny

      Ugh, that woman’s comments are offensive on about 16 different levels, and you have an impressive amount of self-control for not throwing a drink at her. Sorry you had to deal with that.

    • Ellen

      I agree this is terible. FOOEY on her for saying that.

      I am at calender call so I can NOT write alot. But I alredy won my first 6 motion’s. YAY!!!! . The judge is stareing at me, but that is OK b/c I win all my motion’s with him. I will be a judge someday the manageing partner say’s! Yay!

    • Divaliscious11

      Seriously “Black is back”???? “From where?” would have been my immediate response……
      And perhaps she missed the study that people with “ethnic” sounding names are disadvantaged in hiring not because the hiring person is biased, but because the low level screening person often makes assumptions about their abilities based upon their names……

      • KC

        Yeah… I think the latter is one of the scenarios in Freakonomics.

        Sorry you had to deal with such a conversation. Glad the rest of the event went well!

      • cbackson

        I would have been tempted respond, “Ooh, I am so glad to hear it, because I always like to be on-trend for fall!”

        I mean seriously, WTF.

        • KC

          When I first saw “black is back” I was all “Okay. Fashion advice. Where is this going to go? Isn’t black always in style?” Then I saw diversity and, no. That is not an area where trends apply…

    • Bluejay

      Since I’m from your state, I am not surprised by this conversation one bit, and I’m embarrassed on behalf of the non-discriminatory population of the state. Ugh. I’m so sorry it happened, but unfortunately, it’s unlikely to be the only time something like this happens to you.

      I am sure you looked beautiful, elegant, and poised, and anyone who overheard that conversation would also know that you are calm, collected, and totally in control of yourself. I’m sure your poise and grace will work to your advantage throughout your career.

        • Bluejay

          The worst part is that the lady probably thought she was being nice and complimentary.

          • mamabear

            Yep, was just going to say what Bluejay was saying. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

          • Susan

            Again, I’m sorry you were at the receiving end of this sort of racial idiocy.

            The sad thing is, I could so easily imagine that people in my region (CT/NY./NJ) thinking such a thing, but being too well-groomed to say it. On some days, I go back and forth about which is worse.

            The ones who say it, sometimes embolden others to join in, which is bad. On the other hand, the ones who don’t say it (but are sneaky about hiding their racism), are more likely to be unreachable because it’s easier for them to be in denial about it and to deny it when called on it.

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

      Thanks for the support ladies. I just chuckled and turned to the person on the other side of me. She tried to bring me back into the conversation by suggesting I send her my job materials to review. I thanked her and told her I would think about it.

      The whole thing tired me out, but like Bluejay said, this will not be the last time this happens (and it’s not even the first, I just never expected it to happen at such a fancy event) and I have to stiffen my upper lip and keep it moving.

      • mamabear

        I will tell you a similar story. I have a white work friend in her fifties who likes to try to talk “black” when she is with black people. Her favorites are girrrrrl or girrrrrl friend. I cringe every time. I have tried to talk to her a million times about it and she never changes. She’s kind of a kook all around, so I hope people just regard her as harmless. However, I’m sure she’s offending people right and left.

        • NOLA

          Yuck. My ex used to do something stupid like that trying to sound “Jewish” and I found it so offensive. Luckily, he generally only did it at home.

          • cfm

            Nola, sorry for the breakup, I remember your posting about his other idiotic statements. Hope you are taking care of yourself and letting yourself indulge. Also sorry for all posters who have had to deal with what seems like, many, many idiotic people.

          • NOLA

            Ha ha! Well actually this is my ex-husband I was talking about and we’ve been divorced for about 6 years. My current SO is still current. He does occasionally stay stupid things about politics and he’s clueless about gay relationships but he’s not a bad guy.

          • cfm

            ah! apologies. I did know you had an ex-h I forgot in the haze of being without coffeee

      • Bluejay

        I can’t even tell you how many anti-Semitic comments I overheard or was even expected to agree with growing up in a rural area of our state. Apparently I don’t look Jewish! (Translation: my nose is straight. A$$holes.)

        • Honey Pillows

          Yep, I get that all the time. Blonde and blue-eyed Jew, here, thanks, guys.

          • Lalo

            Yep. One time someone told me I was the perfect Aryan. Cool conversation right there.

          • Bluejay

            @Lalo – I’ve had people ask me whether I’m German, based on my (very Jewish) last name. If I’m feeling particularly p!ssy that day, my default response is a deadpanned “Germans killed my family.”

            If someone called me Aryan I’d… I don’t even know what I’d do but I couldn’t be held responsible.

            @HoneyPillows- I’m a redhead. People often insist I must have Irish ancestry. In fact, I do have Irish ancestry, but only black Irish. The light skin and hair is 100% Russian Jewish ancestry. But you know, all Irish people are light, and all Jews are dark, right? I’ve had people seriously spend 5 minutes insisting that I am wrong and red hair cannot possibly be a Jewish characteristic.

            Anyway, sorry for the threadjack, Mrs. BEF.

        • Sugar Magnolia

          Apparently I “look Jewish.” I also have a somewhat Jewish-sounding maiden name. For some reason, people would assume I was Jewish, and when they found out I wasn’t, would immediately make anti-Semitic comments. Ridiculous! My favorite thing was to say, “Would you have made that comment when you thought I was Jewish 2 minutes ago?”

          People are strange.

          • Susan

            Strange? Maybe, but probably more idiotic, and predictably tribal.

            Idiotic in that they can’t be bothered to get to know the individual and go for the most intellectually lazy route, which is to mindlessly parrot racial stereotypes/jokes.

            Tribal in that when they say it to someone who they think isn’t Group X, it’s their lame@ss way of trying to say, “see? we’re OK, you and I, we’re a team, and look, here’s a conveniently placed outsider to unite against.”

  9. hellskitchen

    Immediate threadjack.

    I have realized that wearing makeup gives me headaches, especially eye makeup. Some Googling revealed that it may be the parabens, BHT etc in makeup that trigger my headaches. I am now on the hunt for makeup that is free of harmful chemicals? Any recommendations for eye-shadows, foundations etc that are free of bad chemicals yet effective? Thanks!

    • Anon-Y

      If you are fine with foundations in loose powder form, try Alima Pure. I would say the coverage is medium – full, depending on how much you put on. Occasionally I would mix a little with moisturiser to make liquid foundation / tinted moisturiser.

      Everyday Minerals makes pressed foundation but I have no idea what these are like; the loose foundations didn’t work for me (didn’t blend seamlessly into skin, felt cakey and dry). Their loose blushes are great and affordable though.

      I’ve tried a variety of loose mineral eyeshadows (including Alima) but it can be messy to put on. Bare Escentuals now makes pressed mineral eyeshadows and the reviews seem pretty good.

      Dying to try RMS Beauty but never got round to it – londonmakeupgirl has reviews and pictures of this brand.

      • Cher

        I second the Alima Pure. You can buy samples for a few dollars. It can be messy, but if you’re crafty and patient enough you can press it into a old compact yourself using alcohol.

        • hellskitchen

          Thanks Anon-y and Cher. I did one of those “find your shade” quizzes at Alima’s website recently so I will order the recommended shades and see if those work out. I have used Bare Essentials in the past but they took too much time every morning. But this might just be the push I need to try mineral powder foundations again

    • Nellie

      I love LORAC Natural Performance foundation (and the packing is great, no cap!).
      Tarte is also a great line—in addition to being paraben-free, the whole line is natural, so no plasiticizers and other junk. I love their eyeshadow palettes, and the Amazonian clay blush.

      • hellskitchen

        I’ll try out Lorac – that seems like a great option. And since yesterday I have been crushing on Tarte’s eyeshadow palettes. I am going to find it difficult to shell out $20 for just one shade but I figure if it’s a great neutral that I can wear everywhere it’s worth it. What shades do you have? And how do you like them?

        • Nellie

          Soft Sand is a perfect neutral for me. I have one of the Neutraleyes palettes from Sephora; it also has this beautiful sheer lavender shade, but I don’t know the name. And a dark navy that I use as a liner.

      • harriet the spy

        LOVE the Tarte blushes. Not a fan of their mascara, alas, but the blush is really amazing.

    • zora

      there is a lot of ‘natural’ makeup sold at Whole Foods and other natural food stores. It is definitely hit or miss as far as effectiveness, and i wish i could remember all the brands I have used, but there are definitely some things that work great.

      I know Beauty without Cruelty (BWC) and Zia make great stuff, and there are some others, but most big Whole Foods, etc will have samples you can try, etc. I use a great mineral powder from a natural company, but the name has worn off the side, sorry!!! :o(

      • hellskitchen

        I knew Whole Foods carries skincare stuff but didn’t know they carried makeup as well. Will check it out. Thanks!

    • Anon

      Jane Iredale – haven’t tried her entire line but her tinted sunblock works great!

  11. BluSky

    PSA – DRY SHAMPOO

    Just thought I’d share I have been using the Batiste dry shampoo for blonde hair (Light & Blonde) and I love it! It comes out a light yellow color and after I brush it though my hair it brightens up my roots which I love as oily blonde hair starts to look dark. It also gives my fine hair amazing body. I have already told all my friends about this – I can’t say enough about it! They also carry a dry shampoo for dark brown, medium brown, and red hair.

    • TX lawyer

      +1 for batiste dry shampoo for blonde hair. i swear by it. not such a big fan of the original formula, however.

    • KC

      I think I need to look into this. The fact my hair is several shades darker when oily is the reason I feel like I have to wash it so often… Thanks for the review!

  12. SAlit-a-gator

    Love the front of the dress, hate the floor to ceiling back zipper. Not only does it not look professional, I think it may actually be uncomfortable to sit on a giant zipper all day long.

    • zora

      Yeah, i don’t really mind exposed zippers in general, but whenever i see these dresses or skirts with a zipper all the way top to bottom, all i can think of is how horrible the wardrobe malfunction would be… i think if i owned something like this i would literally have nightmares about the whole zipper coming undone and my dress FALLING OFF me in front of my entire office! ack!!

  13. Bluejay

    Does anyone else think this is a total mullet dress? Pretty in the front, completely tacky in the back, n’est-ce pas?

    • ChinaRette

      Hah, love this comment! After checking out the back more closely, I do reluctantly agree…

  14. Travelette

    2 unrelated questions:

    – I have to take redeye 14-15 hour flight overnight and then be ready to go to work the next day straight from the airport. Any tips on how to do this? Where would I change, do my makeup etc? Tips on looking fresh? How do I survive the workday? Ugh, so dreading this. I’m flying to Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris and then taking an internal flight if it helps. Also, I don’t speak any French.

    – Can someone pls post a link to the Lands End tote everyone on here loves? It’s the one with a strap you can slide over a suitcase. I can’t seem to find it on their website.

    Thanks so much!

    • e_pontellier

      That sounds terrible!!! My only advice for travelling is to bring some airborne or emergen-c and drink lots of water. Also, maybe pick up a French phrase book? Good luck!

    • Anon

      I haven’t done an overnight flight before work, but I have done overnight flights/trains while traveling for vacation. I usually shower as close as possible to departure and don’t wear makeup. Then I pack makeup removing towelettes, moisturizer, a toothbrush, deodorant, dry shampoo (and bobby pins/hairties/headband) and minimal makeup in my carry-on. After arriving, I’ll run to the bathroom and brush my hair, use the towelette to wipe my face/neck, brush my teeth, apply makeup, etc.

      Makes it bearable, but I still count the minutes until I can shower again after traveling though…

    • nona

      Are you talking about this Small Duffel? You don’t have to get it as part of the set, it’s listed seperately under Luggage connections.
      http://www.landsend.com/pp/lighthouse-24-hybrid-upright-small-duffel-set~223459_-1.html

      http://www.landsend.com/pp/small-lighthouse-duffel-bag~219995_-1.html

      The trip bag might also work – I’d call customer service to see if it also has a pocket to slide of the handle.
      http://www.landsend.com/pp/lighthouse-trip-bag~219786_-1.html

    • Kontraktor

      I would potentially consider a Benedryl to be able to sleep some on the plane. If you took it right as you got airborne, you could potentially get 8 or 10 hours of sleep and let the grogginess fade in the last 4 hours of flight to be ‘rested’ for the next day. I feel getting some amount of sleep is going to be essential.

      Make sure you eat some hot meals when you arrive/that day. I always found I felt perked up after a hot meal when flying long ways over night.

      Regarding changing. I would say bring a bit of MU, a small toothpaste, and a few other small toiletries in your carry on. I might even pack your ‘next day’ work clothes in the same bag and just wear something comfortable on the plane. I’d recommend just freshening up in the restroom- you can change into your new outfit and then brush your teeth/do MU in front of the sink. I’ve seen plenty of people in airports doing this so you won’t look weird.

    • Bluejay

      In order to sleep on the plane, bring an eye cover, earplugs, and a neck pillow (hopefully there will be an empty seat next to you so you can curl up, but if you sleep sitting with an unsupported neck you’ll be in pain the next day). To refresh, my favorite facial wipes are Say Yes to Cucumbers (available at Target), and I also always bring a light moisturizer and undereye cream on the flight. Also make sure to wipe down your underarms and private areas, and anything else that may have gotten sweaty/stinky, since you won’t be able to shower. Bring deodorant, too.

      If you have long hair, I strongly suggest wearing it in braids or a side pony so it won’t be rubbing on the plane seat and snarling. Then you can just comb it out when you land.

      And drink LOTS of water. I normally drink 20oz. per hour on long haul flights. Hydration goes a long way toward helping you feel and look fresh. Don’t drink, unless you normally have a glass of wine or something to help you fall asleep, and limit your caffeine intake.

      • Bluejay

        Oh, and you will be fine without French at CDG. I assume someone will pick you up at the airport after your internal transfer, so you shouldn’t need French there either. Airport signs are usually bilingual and if not there will definitely be airport staff who speak English. Just be very polite and when you approach people, ask if they speak English first before asking your question.

      • goirishkj

        +1 on the water. Yes, it may mean getting up to use an airplane bathroom but you will feel better for stayong hydrated! Also, if you aren’t sleeping, make sure to wiggle your toes and do some basic stretches in your seat to try to prevent blood clots. Unlikely, yes, but there are easy things you can do to make them even more unlikely. (Staying hydrated also helps.). And trust me, clots suck, so I give the “prevnt blood clot” spiel to anyone I know getting on a long flight.

    • hellskitchen

      Don’t wear any makeup on the flight and wear comfortable cotton clothes. Use a hydrating moisturizing cream while in the air but don’t apply it too frequently… it can stress out your skin. If you have status with your airline, you might be able to use their lounge/shower – you could look into buying a pass for an hour if you have time. If not, you will have to change and freshen up in an airport restroom. Use a face scrub to exfoliate and also use a primer before makeup. My face gets very oily for a day or two after intercontinental flights so I use a mattifying primer. And put on fresh undergarments – makes a big difference.

      • Non Twit

        This, exactly, regarding the moisturizer, makeup etc. 14-15 hours is really long; to me it always seems longer than twice as long as a 7 or 8 hour flight. I’ll add: (i) try to semi-adapt to the timezone in advance if at all possible, (ii) bring socks to wear on the flight, (iii) your feet may swell on the flight, even if they haven’t in the past, so be sure that your next-day shoes can accomodate this, (iv) a unisom or benadryl + a glass of wine + an eye mask + a neck pillow can really help you sleep nicely for that first stretch, (v) will you be able to keep the clothes that you need to wear to work wrinkle-free in your luggage? If not, I would wear comfortable yet professional pants, a t-shirt type top and a jacket. The jacket can be carefully placed in the overhead or hung by a flight attendant, (vi) bring a warm cashmere shawl, and (vii) bring some travel-friendly snacks.

        • hellskitchen

          Such a great idea about socks and shoes. My legs swell up after flying so compression socks and wide-fit shoes would go a long way to help

    • TBK

      I would suggest a mild sleeping pill. I took some last time I crossed the Pacific and it made such a difference. I’d try them at home first, to make sure they don’t cause any bad side effects.

    • ss

      I think the best option is if you can use a lounge with shower facilities at CDG, provided you have enough time between flights – travel in something which gives you the best chance at sleeping comfortably on board, bring your work outfit plus make-up in your carry-on (a crush-proof knit dress maybe ?) and count on showering and dressing in between flights. You may have access to a lounge w shower depending on what airline and which class, otherwise check the airport’s website for a pay-per-use lounge (I am almost certain I recall seeing one but do confirm it).

      If no lounge, I’d still recommend the same minus the luxury of a shower – carry on your work outfit, then freshen up and change in the ladies’ loo while at CDG. Don’t worry about speaking French – there will be English-speaking staff at the airports, although you may need to ask for them.

      Surviving the work-day may be easier than you think, particularly if it’s full of introductions, rather than a deep-dive into new and complex material. For myself, I know I need to avoid instant reactions, mid-afternoon irritability and the temptation to have too much coffee.

    • cbackson

      The Delta SkyClub at CDG has showers. I would see if you can purchase a day pass, and use those. There may be other clubs as well. But check to make sure that you’ll be able to get to them – depending on airport security layouts, you can’t always get to all terminals. Also, CDG has terrible internal transport in my recollection, so make sure you have enough time for this. Your destination airport may have similar facilities if your connection is tight.

      • n.

        Agreed on this advice — it’s totally worth it to buy a pass to a lounge for a shower and snack, and CDG has a terrible layout. Wear flats, because if you’re transferring from an international to a national flight you’ll probably end up walking a fair distance.

        • Lalo

          AmEx has a lounge that you can buy a pass for the day for fairly cheap, and it might be free with a certain level of card. I don’t recall any showers (this was a while ago though so it might have changed) but there are lots of beverages, snacks, spacious bathrooms, and outlets.

    • springtime

      I recently did a long trip like that- I wore yoga pants, a tee, a warm hoodie (mine has a big hood that helped block the light out), and a scarf on the plane (so I could take things off as necessary). Bring a blanket if they wont provide them on the plane. Ear plugs, eye mask, and neck pillow are essential. I got a mild sedative from the doctor to help knock me out. I couldn’t sleep for a full 8 hours at a time, but I would do sleep, watch a movie or read a bit, take a pill, sleep some more, eat, repeat.

      Also, wear compression socks- they really help keep your ankles from getting swollen from the pressure. Bring fuzzy socks to sleep in. A change of clothes (just changing your tshirt) mid-flight might make you feel better. Drink tonnes of water (like, constantly). Get up often and walk around. I washed and re-moisturized my face midway, as well as brushed my teeth.

      If you can afford it, pay for exit row (call the airline in advance) to get more legroom. Don’t look at your watch either! I was way less stressed when I wasn’t worrying about how much time I had to sit there.

    • Anne

      You shouldn’t need French to transfer at CDG – the icons on the signs are fairly universal, if I recall right, as well as the signs mostly being in both French and English.

  15. NOLA

    Yay for fall weather! It’s in the 60s and I’m wearing tights and a sweater with my dress and I painted my nails a dark dark red. Of course, it’ll be in the mid 80s by Wednesday, but a girl can dream, right?

    • Petunia

      I busted out my new boots today in honor of the 64 degree temps!! Figured I won’t get to wear them for a bit considering temps near 90 are right around the corner!

      • NOLA

        I know! If I had dark brown boots that I could wear with this dress, I’d be wearing them. I thought my new knee high boots were probably a bit much for weather in the 60s.

    • Leigh

      Forecast for today here is 108 degrees. Wish I lived where you ladies do! I’m so ready for fall weather.

      • Lalo

        My forecast calls for 102. Joy. I still wore a scarf and sweater because the building has returned to full blast ac, a a la August. I had to draw the line at boots because…it’s still 102 outside. I can’t wait for cool fall!

    • zora

      Yay for finally getting a summer!! I wore a Tshirt in San Francisco yesterday, and even got to Take. My. Sweater. Off. and got all hot and sunburned, Woohoo!!! i might even get to wear a skirt and sandals this week!

      • SF Bay Associate

        It’s GORGEOUS today, isn’t it??? High of 93! I wanna go play outside!!!

        • zora

          I was running a street festival in the T-loin yesterday and it was glorious being hot!! i loved it, even though today i am so wrecked and exhausted i can’t even think straight. ;o)

  16. Better late than never...?

    Hi Ladies – I posted last week about forgetting to write a thank you note after a job interview, and that one of my references had told me that he was contacted about a week after the interview – at the time you all (mostly) advised me that too much time had passed to send a note (a week and a half since the interview), which was my instinct as well. Well, my reference spoke to the prospective employer the Friday before last, and I haven’t heard anything since. Is it appropriate to try to follow up (especially given that I never wrote a thank you note) or do I just resign myself to the fact that this one has probably passed me by? TIA!

    • TBK

      How long has it been (I can’t tell exactly whether it’s been two weeks or three)? If it’s about three weeks, I’d send a quick email saying how much you enjoyed meeting him/her and how much you liked the company (or some other positive and true statement) and say you were wondering if they had a sense of when they expected to make their final decision. The fact that you didn’t send a thank you is irrelevant at this point.

      • Better late than never...?

        Hi TBK – closer to 2 weeks, I interviewed on the 14th. The whole process has been as follows: I had a phone interview first and then an in-person about a week alter, and they told me that they would narrow down to a few finalists and do reference checks and then a final interview, and that things would move quickly once they selected the finalists. So I felt kind of hopeful after I heard that they’d contacted one of my references, but a whole week has passed now since they spoke to her. I like your advice though — I’ll send a message at the end of this week and I suppose the worst that could happen is that they tell me the position is filled. Thanks!

    • mamabear

      And now I’ve gone down the ELLENwatch rabbit hole.

      You guy’s. I need to WORK! FOOEY!

    • karenpadi

      Thank you! It was a far-fetched theory.

      Sure, come on out to the Bay Area! Zora and I will show you a good time (I’m volunteering Zora here but I think she’d be game). You, me, Zora, and Ellen: The Fab Four!

    • zora

      also, EllenWatch, thanks for the breakdown, that was very interesting. It was a random thought, but I really wanted to know what you thought as a much more devoted Ellen-follower. And I think everything you said makes total sense.

      Also, The Room reference is totally awesome, the little movie theater in my neighborhood has a midnight Saturday showing of it every week. You should totally come visit and we can take karenpadi to go see it ;o)

  18. Ms.

    Hi all … one of my closest girlfriends told me this weekend that her marriage is falling apart and she had moved out of their home. I’ve never dealt with this before and I have no idea what to say or do to help her. We’re several states apart and so I can’ t just come over with a bottle of wine, but I’d like to send her a care package to let her know I’m thinking of her. What would you suggest I put in there? What will be most helpful to her right now?

    • Kim

      Oh, so terrible! This has never happened to me, but I see two directions you could take – things to cheer her up or help to de-stress (gift cert for a massage or yoga, wine and cheese, silly gizmos), or something to help outfit her new digs since money is probably suddenly and unexpectedly tight. You’re a good friend.

  19. e_pontellier

    PSA: JCrew sale today – 25% off plus free shipping on any order over $150.

  20. Internal networking

    Ladies – I’m in a several hundred attorney office and am looking to do more internal networking with influential people. I’d like to do this with some targeted lunch invites and perhaps find another associate to team up to do these with. Any suggestions?

    • Anonnc

      How senior are you, what’s your practice area and what’s your networking goal?

  21. cbackson

    So who’s up for an Atlanta meetup, other than the ladies who responded yesterday? Feel free to email me at my username at the mail google gives us if you don’t want to reply here.

  22. Maddie Ross

    Do any of you ladies have any suggestions for work appropriate websites that you browse during the day? I have suddenly gone from completely slammed to mildly busy and am having trouble filling all the hours in the work day. While intellectually I know I should just do the 4-5 hours of work I have straight and then go home while I have this down time, I feel somewhat compelled to be here at least 7-8 hours a day. With that in mind, do any of y’all have any websites (besides this one, of course!) that you browse at work? I generally read this, my personal email and a news website, but wouldn’t mind catching up on other current events or websites similar to this.

      • Honey Pillows

        Or grammar, or physics, or philosophy, or the internet, or…

        Basically it is for nerds.

    • Kontraktor

      Are there any industry blogs related to what you do? I really like spending time on Power Point Ninja and Chandoo dot org (Excel) in free time. Makes me feel like I am doing something because I am reading about programs I use frequently, but it’s nice to read about things in a more casual blog layout. I also look at news related to the company/postings from our home page or just general industry news/articles. For example, there might be a term or concept I had to deal with for a project but didn’t get a chance to do a deep dive into it- in free time I might go back and research what that concept is in full.

    • rosie

      Hyperbole and a Half
      Ask a Manager
      Washington Post advice page
      local newspapers from places where I used to live

      • Lalo

        Second. I learn so many interesting things here about things I know a little about, a lot about, and nothing about. There was a fascinating article they posted last week about how our brains process color and language.

    • zora

      depends on your work, i guess. I work in policy/politics, so I like to read Ezra Klein’s Wonkblog on the WaPo and Nate Silver’s 538 blog at the NY Times. I also sometimes wander around the headlines on Foreign Policy. And agree with Slate and, I like Salon, too, sometimes. And The New Yorker has great stuff to read, i have a subscription and love curling up with the actual magazine on the weekends, but you can read everything on their website, and they cover all kinds of issues, science, food, finance, sports, etc.

  23. IA_Eng

    I thought this dress was very neat until I saw the bow at the top of the neck in the back, that IMO makes it look too juvenile/girly for office wear.

  24. CPA

    Opinions please – My across the wall cubicle neighbor is playing music through speakers. Granted it’s not that loud but it’s annoying because all I can hear is the bass. Am I being overly picky if I ask her to use headphones????? I’m trying to be objective since I’m sure I do things that are annoying sometimes…

    • Honey Pillows

      Nope, not picky at all. Listening through headphones is a pretty standard office practice in CubeWorld, and I’m sure your neighbor is bothering other people as well.

    • moss

      Not at all! My neighbor thought it would be okay to play plinky piano music. I just went over and asked her to turn it down some more. She acted all surprised that I could hear it but I haven’t had a problem since.

      Just do it now, before you start seething about it. Quick and direct.

  25. Riding boots

    I’m in the market for a pair of riding boots. Does anyone own a pair of Frye riding boots, and are they worth the $$? I’m considering the boots in the links below, but only if they will last for a really long time, given the expense. Thanks!!

    • Maddie Ross

      Love, love, love my Fryes. The leather is really nice on most pairs (esp. the riding styles) and they wear well. I would only pay the $$ for the more classic styles though. I think a lot of their more recent styles are a little too trendy to warrant the price. I have the Melissa riding in brown and black though and wear them constantly in the winter, both for work and casual.

      • Riding boots

        I was looking at the Melissa, which seems to be a pretty classic style! Any thoughts on how they fit over your calves? I tried them on without pants tucked in, and they fit great, but am a little concerned about wearing them over skinny jeans. I have average sized calves and never have problems with boots being too narrow to fit over my calves, but the Melissa boots seemed fairly snug. It took a bit of tugging to get them off!

    • Lalo

      I really want the two tone Melissas, and am considering buying them today (last day of bloomingdales friends & family). Are those the ones you have or do you have 1 in each color? I just really want a pair of two tone boots, and am considering just buying 3 pairs (Frye, Cole Haan, & Ralph Lauren) and hopefully keeping no more than 1. I do have another pair of Frye boots I love, though.

      • Maddie Ross

        I have one pair in black and one in brown. The two-tone sound interesting though. Off to check them out!

  26. anon hopeful writing prof

    Hello hive! I sent in my application for the legal writing professor position last night, and, since the application didn’t specify if they wanted paper or email, I emailed and in the email let them know I was also providing a paper copy. I got a reply right away thanking me for my submission and that it would be forwarded to the hiring committee.

    Now I just have to wait…and hope…

  27. karenpadi

    Horrible attorney-training coming up:

    We have a man here to teach us how to network. His big piece of advice: take someone out to coffee or lunch!

    How do I raise my hand and ask how to make it clear to men that a woman asking him out lunch isn’t a romantic come-on? I know we’ve talked on here before about how men turn business lunches into dates…

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Oh wow, this is so true. We had something similar recently about networking and I asked this question, but the (male) trainer was completely oblivious that this was even an issue and brushed it off. I am in a niche area where 95% of my clients are male and generally older than me, and this is a genuine issue. Unfortunately it means that this type of networking is very hard. I have no answers, just commiseration.

      • Susan

        What a sh!tty trainer for brushing something off.

        Lovely to know that some people operate in the la-la-land known as, “If I haven’t seen experienced it myself, it doesn’t exist.”

      • karenpadi

        That is awful. I’m in a similar profession.

        I have this question ready to go:
        What should women do when a networking lunch or coffee with a professional contact unexpectedly turns out to be a romantic “date”? How can women avoid this situation in the first place?

        We’ll see if he brushes this off. I agree though, men seem to think “this doesn’t happen anymore.” Ugh.

        • Woods-comma-Elle

          I think this is a great question. I would love to hear the answer.

          Unless it is any of:

          (a) well what do you expect when you are a pretty girl
          (b) well you know what men are like hawr, hawr
          (c) I’m sure that would never happen.

          • karenpadi

            His first gem: “personal issues, like wanting to spend time with family”. How is that an “issue” (aka problem)?

          • Susan

            re: “personal issues”

            I feel sorry for his family. If he thinks he only has to spend time with them to triage a major problem. I’m having fun imagining what problems he would think would be “important/severe enough” to be worthy of his time: ninja attack? exploding sewer line? entire family about to join a cult? wife pregnant with his colleague’s triplets?

            on the other hand, if he’s this majorly oblivious, maybe they’re better off without him throwing a wrench into the works whenever he’s present.

        • Susan

          Double ugh if they say that “this doesn’t happen anymore” with an air of disappointment, and a sad, “oh, it makes me wish for the Mad Men days of yore.”

      • karenpadi

        So I submitted my question to the webinar. He says, “any questions so far? No, OK”. He’s completely ignoring the question. F-ing useless.

        • Woods-comma-Elle

          This sounds like training on how not to do training.

          I have heard far too many stories about touchy-feely clients, inappropriate comments, invitations to hotel rooms that unfortunately this IS a real problem (and note discussed here previously). The trouble is, once it happens, it is very difficult to continue/develop a professional relationship with the person.

        • karenpadi

          OK, seminar over. He completely ignored my question. I am going to give him a very very bad review.

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