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Updated: Mar 5, 2021 95 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Skyler Sandal

Coffee Break

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I keep seeing sky-high sandals in the numerous sales and thinking, uh HUH… is it just me or does it feel like this is going to be a summer for flats? This kind of criss-crossy sandal seems very popular now, but I like that this one from Madewell has an extra layer of padding, and comes in a number of interesting colorways.

The sale is hard to beat, too — they were $88, but are now 60% off, down to $35.20 in sizes 5-11. Nice. (Almost sold out at Madewell but tons of sizes left at Nordstrom.)   

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Sales of note for 9.10.24

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Book recommendation: Just finished Girls Made of Snow and Glass, a retelling of Snow White, and really enjoyed it! Other similar books I love are those by Naomi Novik, and the Bear and the Nightingale Series. If anyone has any similar recs, please let me know!

    • Anon

      Thank you for the recommendation! I also like Naomi Novik and the Bear and the Nightingale.

      As for other recs… I would recommend the Jinni and the Golem by Helene Wecker, the Icarus Girl by Helen Oyeyemi, and maybe the Victor’s Curse series if you are up for YA.

    • Anon

      Stepsister by Jennifer Donnelly. A feminist retelling of Cinderella from one of the step sister’s side of the story. I adored this book.

    • Anonymous

      If you like
      Naomi Novik you’ll love Marie Brennan
      A Natural History of Dragons: A Memoir by Lady Trent.

    • eertmeert

      The Suggest ME a Book subreddit is amazing for book recs. I have that open in one tab and my Libby app open in another and go to town borrowing and putting holds on books.

  2. The Original ...

    Okay, so after the last post (and the all caps disclaimer), am I the only one who didn’t particularly feel an urge to talk about gardening before but now thinks we should just because we were told not to in that post? (Also, am I the only one this desperate for some rules to break that won’t risk mine or someone else’s health if I break ’em?!) lol and muah ha ha!

    • Anontoday

      lol I’ll talk about “gardening” with you.. Anyone who says there will be a post-corona baby boom is not observing my household. I don’t think “gardening” has happened once since all this started. It is just not a s*xy time.

      • Anonymous

        There is no gardening. The weeds have taken over. Le sigh.

        Also the literal weeds have taken over my literal garden and my children are feral.

      • Anon

        Same, girl, same. I think the baby booms are like when you’re stuck in the house for a few days because of a snowstorm and you’re bored and stuck at home, but not burned out or terrified. A global pandemic is totally different. I think there’s going to be a major divorce boom.

        • Senior Attorney

          My husband is a divorce lawyer and he is certain there will be a divorce boom. Already having some nibbles.

          • Abby

            I feel like the number of celeb breakups increased during this time? Or maybe so little is going on, I am noticing it more.

          • Anonymous

            I have been a Cavalleri hater since The Hills, so I am picking up a Daily Mail habit keeping up on it.

        • Alex

          It’s already happening in other countries. China’s seen a major spike in divorce rates.

          • Anon

            I feel like even the happy couples are delaying TTC because of all the uncertainty about how this affects pregnant women, getting medical care while pregnant, and what delivery might be like if hospitals get overwhelmed again. That could just be my friend group though.

          • Anon

            You have to remember, not everyone is like us, not every pregnancy is well thought out.

      • KW

        Same in our house. No gardening is happening because our kids are always (always!) around. From the older one staying up late at night to the little one becoming extra clingy and refusing to sleep in his crib (at night or for naps) we have no opportunity for any gardening.

    • Anon

      Hahaha. I kind of feel the same, even through I’m not normally a big sharer. On the plus side for me, I just got an implant and am looking forward to not using “gloves” anymore.

    • Jules

      Actually, Kat said if people want to talk about the euphemistic gardening in the comments, they could have at it.

      But, yeah, I’m tired of all the rules, too.

    • Anon

      I think you guys can calm down. It was intended to spark discussion, I am sure, but nothing about not also being able to talk about it here.

    • Ellen

      Yes, if I had a boyfriend, I would garden all the time, what else is there to do at night? But this is not the time to be out looking for a new man, so I am celabete for now. Once this is over I think we will all make up for lost time.

  3. Super Bounce

    Would anyone be willing to share her experience with Glossier Super Bounce? I am in my early 40s with sensitive, oily, acne-prone skin. The Glossier vitamin C serum reviews indicate that it makes some people break out, but I didn’t see the same in the Super Bounce reviews. Is Super Bounce the one to try, or is there a better hyaluronic acid serum that’s similarly priced?

    • Airplane.

      Super Bounce is Hylauronic Acid + vitamin B5, which is different from Vitamin C. I’m not prone to breakouts so YMMV but HA has never made me break out and neither has Vit C, but I wouldn’t assume if one makes you break out the other does too.

      I like the Ordinary’s versions of these products too. Better price. Great results.

  4. pugsnbourbon

    Y’all, those tortoiseshell Ann Taylor sandals I got at 70% off just arrived and I LOVE them.
    I have nowhere and no reason to wear them, but in the meantime I’m wearing them around the house in my sloppy clothes because they’re that great.

  5. Droopy chin

    In the last few weeks, I’ve noticed saggy old-lady skin under my chin. I am only 43 and am not ready for this. I’m wondering whether it’s related to the 7 pounds I’ve lost in quarantine. I do not plan to gain back that weight. Is there anything else I can do to combat the sag? Masks? Serums? In college I had roommates who used to repeatedly tap the skin in that area every night to “firm” it, but I think that’s an old wives’ tale.

    • Anon

      There was an article in the second to most recent vogue talking about treatments (laser, Botox, plastic surgery – none of them at-home remedies) that said basically it’s inevitable, everyone’s neck ages, and even plastic surgery won’t fully fix it. Sorry! Same boat here.

      • Saggy chin

        Le sigh. I thought I had another 20 or 30 years before this would happen.

    • Airplane.

      My hairstylist got a procedure for this and liked the results – Thermage. She told me that working in front of a mirror station meant she looked at herself way more than the average person. She got thermage on her loose neck skin and I think she got lipo for the belly. Was happier with results of the thermage.

  6. Fiction for tween aspy girl?

    My tween has ASD-1 9(f/k/a asperger’s) and loves to read . . . non-fiction. She really hates fiction (or has never found the right book) and heading into middle school, they have lots of lengthy fiction books to read. [And they are books with plots and characters and symbolism and complexities that non-fiction, which I love too, just doesn’t really have.] School is behind on releasing summer reading (which we’d love to get an early start on). Are there fiction books that might appeal to her? Libraries are closed, and it’s a niche ask of a librarian; I’m OK ordering some things for now. But you all have been so good at this stuff for others. I have “Turtles All the Way Down,” which seemed to be recommended on a blog I read, but it’s not doing the trick. And I’ve love a real text-based book (not the comic-type ones; we have for fun but I’d rather her brain not go to mush while we are faux-home-schooling for a bit).

    At this age, I was into trash (Flowers in the Attic) and also real books and just devoured them. I love non-fiction, too, but she needs help to catch up to her peers and b/c this stuff is so foundational to education.

    • AnonATL

      I too am a non-fiction lover. There was a historical fiction series I read as a teenager that I really loved. Think biography style books on people like Marie Antoinette, but a lot of embellishments and therefore fictional.
      If she is interested in a particular topic or time period, you could find a fictional book related to that and then discuss the characters and symbolism together. I went through a stage recently where I was reading a ton of non-fiction about WW2, specifically in Europe, and then read the Lilac Girls. Related topics, but a nice fiction beak from straight facts and figures.

    • anon

      I was really into Flowers in the Attic as a tween too :-) My parents let me read it, knowing it was trash (but maybe they didn’t know HOW bad?) because any reading is good reading at that age.

      In that spirit, I’d have her read the required school reading when it comes out and then let her pursue her reading interests. Maybe you could nudge her toward some non-fiction that might cover some character development (biographies or memoirs) or complex, emotional stories (Killers of the Flower Moon). Or maybe just be grateful she’s reading, and it’s not Flowers in the Attic :-)

      If you do want to try to get her interested in fiction, maybe you could try a genre related to one of her area of interests? Sci-fi if she’s into science, historical fiction if she’s into fiction, etc.

      I understand the worries about ASD and needing to catch up with her peers. I have a 5 year old who does not yet have a diagnosis, but I won’t be surprised at all if we get a similar one. Not having school for the last few months of this year, and possibly not next year, makes me extremely concerned for him. My son also loves nonfiction. I have read the same DK Tractor book from the library a dozen times since our library closed–it’s about 100 pages long, and I know a lot more about tractors than I ever wanted to. But he is who he is, and man, he loves learning.

    • Anon

      In my town the physical spaces of the libraries are closed, but the librarians are still there and you can still get books (they’ll mail them to you). I bet you could still get some advice from a librarian via phone or email!

      • Anonymous

        Mine too! And our school librarian is super plugged in so you could email the school too.

    • Anon

      is there a certain subject matter of non-fiction that interests her? (also, post again in the morning)

    • Pure Imagination

      My favorite non-fiction I can remember off the top of my head (vet to make sure you think they’re appropriate enough for your daughter): The Indifferent Stars Above, Say Nothing (SOOO good), Shadow Divers, Bad Blood, Into Thin Air, The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down…

    • mascot

      How about historical fiction? That appeals to my kid the most- he otherwise rejects the fantasy, graphic novels, and other books his upper elem. peers seem to like. But, he does tolerate audio-books of fiction so maybe that is another option to get her interested.
      I wouldn’t rule out a good children’s librarian for this kind of ask.

    • Anon

      I don’t think she’s missing out on much if she never learns to enjoy fiction. She won’t be an English professor but there’s not really a need for her to be one. Maybe she would enjoy books that don’t have much going on in the way of characters (the only one coming to mind right now is Hatchet) or ones that are based one a true story like Little House on the Prairie . Turtles All the Way Down seems a little advanced for an 11 year old. I would veer on the side of books for younger readers rather than for adults and teens.

      • Anonymous

        She has to learn to analyze fiction to get through high school, though. I would start with less character-driven, more adventurous books before moving into more complex material. After she’s gotten comfortable with the shallower stuff, try something like Wonder or Out of My Mind where the themes are pretty easy to identify.

        • Walnut

          FWIW, I loved to read but couldn’t get excited about anything the school assigned. Cliffs notes got me through a lot.

        • Anon

          I don’t think focusing on analyzing fiction is a great way to get someone to enjoy to read. She also doesn’t truly need to be good at it to get through high school. Many people are bad at it and are doing just fine as adults. Plus, she’ll have an IEP.

      • pugsnbourbon

        +1. Librarians very much miss helping folks find books and the narrower the niche, the more excited they get.

        Also, my sister is a children’s/YA librarian so if you are cool with it, let me know and I can ask her for recs.

    • Senior Attorney

      At that age I used to love the drama in real life kinds of books. Like there was one called Hey, I’m Alive about a girl who survived a plane crash and had to survive in the wilderness. Kind of nonfiction trash. (Then I graduated to true crime when I got older…)

      • Sloan Sabbith

        Ooh, that reminds me that Hatchet is another recommendation! Both my brother and I loved it. I also liked My Side of the Mountain, Island for the Blue Dolphins, the Everest series and the Island and Dive series by the same author.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      As a tween, I think Turtles might be a bit too much. I read it as an adult and, as someone with anxiety and depression, it was a lot to think about.

      One thing that isn’t completely related to your post but stuck out to me: As she starts having discussions about symbolism, extended metaphors, etc, that could be really hard for her. I have some ASD traits, and while I loved to read I had a really, really hard time with “What does the tree in To Kill a Mockingbird really mean?” “What is the purpose of Lord of the Flies?” questions- I just didn’t see any of the deeper meaning that seemed to come really easily to classmates. I love, love, love reading but I still couldn’t tell you what the symbolism or deeper meaning is of most of what I read. It just isn’t something I understand because I tend to take things very literally and miss some of the subtext. Just thoughts from a reader who hated reading in English class because of that.

      On to the actual question: How about fictionalized real stories? I remember really liking the Dear America series, which were about real life events (sailing of the Mayflower, etc) and were generally historically accurate but had fiction characters. I also think that historical fiction might be a good genre, generally- I’m sure there’re lists online of accurate historical fiction for middle grade readers, and it could let her research or learn more about a particular event or era while also getting her used to the flow of fiction novels, character development, etc. I remember liking My Brother Sam is Dead in 5th grade.

      Some kids really, really love fantasy books but for me, unless I could actually imagine it happening (Harry Potter, for example- of course I understood there isn’t a whole world of wizards, but JK Rowling made it seem like there could be), I hated it. I still dislike fantasy and sci-fi unless it’s very, very realistic. I never got into Eragon, A Series of Unfortunate Events, etc. I also never played make believe.

      I liked Andrew Clement’s books like Frindle and The School Story. I also loved From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, The Great Brain (there are so many of those books and it taught me a LOT about Utah), Boxcar Children, Saddle Club and Babysitter’s Club.

      Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy may also have ideas! She has tweens and young teens and they read a lot, so she might have some recommendations on her blog or you could email Anne.

      Good luck!

      • Anonymous

        OP here — I LOVED the Great Brain series! And The Westing Game (maybe I will get that). We have some Shakespear (the YOLO Juliet, etc., books told through texting and emojis and she loves those, but maybe on a surface level). We were hoping to go to our area’s Shakespeare festival this summer but alas! I think they bring a lot of complex themes alive.

        • eertmeert

          Another Great Brain lover here. . My mom invited some of our friends over and made a picnic featuring the food they ate in the books. It was a fun day that I remember 30ish years later.

    • Anonymous

      Has she read the Hunger Games books? They don’t have lots of literary metaphors or imagery so might be good. And Wonder is amazing.

    • Anon

      If she’s a STEM girl, I’d recommend the Flavia de Luce-mysteries. The first one is “The sweetness at the bottom of the pie” (or something very similar). Flavia is about twelve, and an amateur detective and chemist.

      Also, things like Robinson Crusoe with another self-sufficient and capable main character – but obvious talking points about presentation of native inhabitants e.g.. It can maybe give the perspective of “this is how the world is in the story” vs. “this is the world we live in” kind of discussion. Not symbolism, but something to relate to.

      If she likes history, maybe a classic adventure story like The Three Musketeers, or Ivanhoe (again, lots of good discussion points about quite awful antisemittism).

      But I guess my tip would be to choose books with a main character that is very smart and capable, and where figuring out what to do and how to act in a difficult and unknown situation is one of the main plot points.

  7. Anon

    The thread about IVF and adoption this morning got me thinking: Anyone else in this boat: late 30s, single, could go either way on kids and as a result it’s kind of crippling with dating? In my early 30s I ended a relationship because I wanted kids and he didn’t, but I felt much more strongly about it then. The rest of my 30s have been an amazing period of discovery and exploration with work and passion projects, and I feel less of a desire to have kids. I would do it if my partner wanted it, but I don’t feel like I absolutely HAVE to. I love my life and I know I could have a full life without kids.

    As a result, I don’t even know where to start with dating. I’m not a hard no on kids, but I recognize with my age it’s probably not likely to happen naturally and I don’t see myself wanting to go to extremes to conceive.

    I want to just meet a great guy and let this stuff work itself out but you always hear about people being like, I should have been honest with myself about what I really wanted… but I genuinely don’t know what I want! I think I could be happy in so many different lives (TM Dear Sugar ghost ship column). If I had kids, I know I would love them and be a great mom. But I also think I’d be just fine without. So how do I tell a guy that?

    I’m probably overthinking it, but it makes it hard to even think about going on a date when I feel like I’m supposed to have this all figured out and so much of it will depend on the person and the life we want to build together.

    • Anon

      I think you just what you said here. You’re open to having a family if your partner wants to have a family, but you’re also realistic and think you could lead a fulfilling life without them.

      • Anon for This

        This was the conversation my husband and I had when we were first dating. He wanted kids, and I was less sure. The longer we stayed together (and the older we got – late 30s), the more we talked about what we would and wouldn’t do to have kids (i.e., we both wanted to have biological children and if that was not possible we’d probably stop there), and if we would be happy without them (also yes). So I think it’s possible to not have it all figured out. And, FWIW, the guy I know who was the most insistent on being a parent is now a step-parent and doesn’t want more. So I think this is/can be an evolving issue for some people (but not all).

    • Anonymous

      You just say what you wrote here? That’s how dating works? You might meet a guy in the same place or a guy is sure about no kids or a guy is sure about wanting kids but not wanting to pursue IVF//adoption if it doesn’t happen naturally.

      You aren’t sure about what you want, that’s okay. The right guy for you won’t be bothered by that.

    • Anonymous

      I may be being thick, but I don’t understand what the issue is here. You know you’ll be OK whether you have kids or not. You’re not going to weed out guys based on whether or not they want kids. So what is it, exactly, that you need to figure out before you can even go on a date with someone? It seems to me that you don’t need to know all the way into the future before you know if you even want to see a particular guy a second time.

      • Anon

        You’re right. I am prone to overthinking (just ask my therapist!) and reading these responses is driving that point home. This is an example of how I create problems in my head instead of, you know, going out and actually living life and dealing with real situations. Being stuck in my own head during the pandemic is not helping!

    • Anonymous

      What date have you ever been on when a guy sat down and immediately said “let’s talk about our feelings on children”?!? This is anxiety speaking. It’s totally fine to tell a guy if and when he does ask exactly what you said here: you aren’t sure how you feel about kids, but right now you’re open to them and also open to not having them.

    • Anon

      I think I’d say “open to it, but not set on it”

      If you come down too hard one way or another, I think you might eliminate potential dates that feel strongly about one side.

    • Anon

      What you wrote here: you would like to have kids but not at the expense of interventions, expensive adoptions, etc. If it happens, great, if not, life goes on.

      I think you’re expecting that you “have” to be a certain way that you’re missing how amazingly healthy your own attitude is.

    • Jess

      Aside from communicating what you said here, I’d suggest reading “The Baby Decision” by Merle Bombardieri. It has excercise designed to help you realize whether or not you want kids and then encourages you to feel confident in your decision either way.

  8. Anonymous

    Fun shopping question (I think!). If you could build your ideal set of kitchen knives, what would it look like? Basically, I have a nice chef’s knife, but the rest are from a crappy block of knives my husband or I bought before we started dating 13 years ago and are literally falling apart (one broke (!) and the handles are getting kind of… sticky…). I definitely want a nice paring knife — or maybe multiples? We tend to use the “steak knives” from our old set for all kinds of things throughout the day or in the course of preparing a meal, so usually end up with a few of them in the dishwasher by the end of the day. I guess I pretty much just use the chef’s knife, paring knife (knives), small serrated knife, and a bread knife (I don’t have strong feelings about the bread knife). Also, recs for a nice and nice-looking knife block?

    Money is not an object, within reason. I’m going to ask for this for my birthday this year and want a knife set I’m happy with forever.

    • Anonymous

      If money was no object I would buy a set of high-end Shun knives. We have one of their knives and it is truly amazing. I would buy a chef’s, paring and utility and then add in 3 of the Japanese-style knives.

      • mascot

        My husband got me Shun kitchen shears (amazing) and now I want to try the knives.

    • Never too many shoes...

      Wusthof all the way. I have a large wide cook’s knife, two santokus (one with the divots on the blade and one smooth), a long carving knife, a bread knife and two paring knives in my block.

    • Anonymous

      You have already identified my essential knives: chef’s knife, paring knife, small serrated knife, and bread knife. If you ever serve whole chickens, turkeys, or large roasts, a slicer and a carving fork are also useful. Never put the good knives in the dishwasher–keep the cheap steak knives for that.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      No advice about knives, but my dad swears by magnet strips for the knives. I had it in my first apartment and it was great.

    • Anonymous

      For slicing and paring, I like ceramic knives that I can toss into the dishwasher.

    • Cat

      Once you can shop in person again, it makes a big difference to see how the different brands feel in your hand. Wusthof or Cutco are our favorites. We have 2 paring knives, 2 chef’s knives, and a bread knife that are the MVPs, along with a few others we rarely reach for.

      Also – don’t put your good knives in the dishwasher! Taking the minute to hand wash helps prolong the life between sharpenings.

      • Ms B

        +1 on feeling the knives in your hand. The Hubs and I like different knives because we have different sized hands. My preference is old school full-tang Wusthof Grand Prix; he likes Global knives.

        SA is on the money about the heavy use knives. We also get a lot of mileage out of a microserrated parer (bought in France, have not found similar here and will buy a half dozen next time we are there), a serrated tomato knife (key during canning season, also great for peaches and charcuterie) and a long narrow fish knife (really the only thing for deskinning, portioning and slicing fish). If you are investing, spring for a couple pairs of good kitchen shears, one with straight blades and one curved end (both good for cutting up crustaceans, butchering poultry, snipping herbs, etc.). We have a full set of Wusthof steak knives that we got as a holiday gift that are very nice, but we would not have dropped the cash left to our own devices.

      • Elbe

        Cut out knives are guaranteed – forever I think. They sharpen them for free too.

    • Jeffiner

      I have Wustof knives and they are wonderful. Both my husband and I like to cook, so we have two paring knives, a chef’s knife, and a santoku and its very convenient to not have to pass knives back and forth while cooking. We also have a bread knife and a boning knife. I’ll buy the value packs of chicken breasts or pork tenderloin, and the boning knife is great for cleaning the meat up before freezing. The bread knife is used least of all, we only bake a loaf of bread if we’re making soup for dinner.

      I also like the magnetic knife strip for keeping them safely out of the way.

    • BB

      Umm…why have the words Global knife not made it to this thread?! If you like lighter knives, these are the way to go! I also +1 what people said about the set of knives: A chef’s knife (8-10″ up to you if you want santoku), a paring knife, a bread knife. I would also recommend a meat slicing knife if you do a lot of big roasts. Oh, and people don’t usually lump this in here, but I LOVE my OXO poultry shears. I haven’t used a knife on a chicken since I got them.

      • Senior Attorney

        Oh, yes! We have two pair of poultry shears and they are used constantly!

  9. Anonymous

    I don’t like the ads about Former Smokers. That appears to be all I am seeing lately and I wish they would be removed.

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