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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 310 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Weekend Open Thread

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socks for chucksSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. This may be perhaps the most boring Weekend Open Thread ever, but I was unreasonably psyched when I saw these, so I thought I'd share: they are now making socks cut just for Chucks. Yes: if you (like me) are a fan of Converse Chuck Taylor shoes, but can't decide between the comfort of ankle socks and the dang no-show socks that keep bunching up in your shoes, you may want to give these socks a try. They're $20 for 6 at Zappos and Amazon, and available in a number of colors. Converse Cut-for-Chucks 6-Pair Pack Psst: the Nordstrom Winter Clearance sale ends 2/26 — check out all of our roundups of what to buy for work! This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. anon

    I like the colors!

    I have a winter wardrobe question. Tonight, DH and I are going to a concert at a performing arts center. Dress code is on the dressy side. However, it’s snowing, wet and slushy today. I’m wearing leather boots and going outside in those proved to be a very bad choice. It’s an 11-minute walk from our hotel to the venue — how gauche would it be to wear snowboots or wellies? I’ll preface this by saying that it takes a lot for me to sacrifice warmth/comfort for fashion.

    • Anonymous

      Wear snowboots or wellies, check them with your coat at the coatcheck and put on dress shoes. This is how we do it in Canada anyway.

        • MJ

          Yup, most places just put a little sticker on with your coat check number. It’s great. If they don’t do that, watch where they put them because “the boots that are black” will not get you very far.

          • Anonymous

            This is probably super Canadian but the coat check at a number of venues here has a boot rack slot directly under each coat rack hook so they go together in the same spot (no stickers).

          • anonymous

            You can also bring a bag with you – put the boots in the bag and hang them from the hanger with the coat.

            Yes, I.am.Canadian.

          • Canadian_MBA

            And at more casual spots like public recreation centres, medical/dental offices, etc. you’re asked to remove slushy boots as soon as you’re inside and little cubby holes are provided for storage!

    • Anonymous

      Here in MN, that would be totally fine. But our audiences also run the gamut about what they wear to a play/orchestra – jeans and fleeces to nice suits/dresses.

      I’d wear whatever was weather appropriate and unobtrusive. So, dark green wellies – sure. Neon pink snow boots, probably not.

    • Fishie

      Why are you walking for 11 minutes in slush and snow? Take a cab, even if you are checking boots!

  2. Lavender

    I’ve been working on something in counselling and she suggested that I crowdsource part of my homework this week.

    “What makes someone lovable?” Can include anything and everything- traits, features, history, etc.

    • AnonyMom

      AnonyDad and I started our relationship off long distance, and during that period we had an email list we passed back-and-forth entitled “I love you because…” It listed both silly and serious things and was eventually 100+ items long.

      One thing I noticed is that many of the things were very silly quirks each of us has that the other found endearing for no rational reason. For example, for some unknown reason I absolutely adore the fact that he will frequently take off just one sock when lounging around the house (claims it’s the right amount of ventilation). And now AnonyDaughter who’s 3 does this too!

      Maybe the broader lesson is that “lovable” is in the heart of the lover…and true love means you find thing endearing that others just find weird.

      • Anon

        I love this! Might need to steal the idea when my husband and I are apart for two months this summer…

    • Anonymous

      Kindness towards others is a big one for me. Whether it’s DH or the kids, my heart melts when I see them helping each other.

    • Never too many shoes...

      Kindness. The ability to put someone else before themselves. Generosity of thought and in practice. Willingness to learn. Curiosity.

    • Anon

      Empathy.
      Generosity (not necessarily with material things or money, but with time, affection, etc.).
      Good listening skills.
      Someone who puts effort into things and tries to improve on the things that are important to you.

    • ...

      non-judgmental. someone who you can tell a story to about a hope/dream or about a wild night or about a mistake at work and they don’t think less of you for it and you know that, so you feel safe talking with them.

      someone who shows up… when something is good or bad or blah or whatever, they’re present… in person, via phone, in an email, a quick text, whatever, they cause you to feel less alone in the world.

    • Anonymous

      Compassion towards others. A sense of humor. Expressed feelings of genuine empathy, sympathy, caring. Ability to laugh at oneself. Basically, a lack of self-absorption goes a long way for me.

    • Danii

      That I can just be me around him, and that he is just him, with no pretenses. That he makes me want to be the best version of me (but still be me), and vice versa. That when I’m completely ratty at everyone and everything, he’ll give me a hug, make me a coffee, or do some other small kindness.

    • Idea

      Wanting to share experiences, books, conversations, food, memories, family.
      Quirks can be lovable.
      Humor about oneself and the other person, and the relationship, is lovable.
      Loving oneself is literally lovable.
      Being vulnerable is lovable. Of course, so is confidence, but more in the admirable way than is vulnerability.
      Loving is lovable.

  3. MargaretO

    Any advice about which DC area nordstrom has the best plus size selection (casual and business casual)? TIA!

  4. Conflicts

    I’m a non-practicing lawyer and I’ve just joined a law firm in a consulting role. I just left a consulting firm in a non-practicing role. New Firm has just told me (after leaving Old Firm and starting at New Firm) that I need a list of every client I worked on for the last two years to check for conflicts. Old Firm HR refuses to release that information, citing confidentiality.

    Am I nuts? Conflicts checks like this are super common, right? But I’ve never practiced and this is my first time at a law firm, so I’m not sure how this is normally done. How on earth am I supposed to get this info? Obviously, departing Old Firm with it would have been the way to go, but that ship has sailed. With the nature of my roles, I generally work with tons of clients on small matters, rather than a couple clients on giant matters, so there’s no way I can guess who all I’ve worked with over the past couple years. Help?

    • Anonymous

      Yeah this is super common at law firms. I did this when I joined. They probably wouldn’t have hired me if I hadn’t done it. (I never did talk to my old firm’s HR about it though.)

    • anon

      It is super common in law firms, but the timing is weird in your case. I had to submit a list of conflicts once I got my offer, but before I gave my notice. I pulled my own information. I’d do the best that you can on pulling together the information.
      Do you have the same ethical obligations as a consultant as you do a lawyer?

      • ace

        Ditto – and it was so much easier to do it as a current employee than I imagine you are finding it as a former, OP. Ugh!

  5. AnonyMom

    Reposting from late in the morning thread in case I get some more responses:

    I’m working on a project pretty far outside my expertise and past experience, and I’m looking for resources about how to account for expenses associated with SaaS products and also how to develop pricing models. This is not for accounting purposes but for business model development and product road-mapping (trying to understand how to evaluate the potential of various features etc).

    And thanks to “Coach Laura” for the great reference saas-capital blog in the morning thread!

    • Salesforce book

      Salesforce wrote a book about SaaS, titled, “The SaaS Startup Founder’s Guide”. I read through it when I started a marketing job in a SaaS company, and it talks about the business/pricing models, etc., so that should give you some direction on line items to consider for modeling purposes.

        • Salesforce book

          Sure! If you’re unfamiliar with some of the basic variables for SaaS companies, here’s a few terms that would be worth looking into: Annual Contract Value (ACV), churn / church rate (basically customer turnover), server scalability and load balancing, up-time, licensing (is it per seat? per month? per application? These things vary if it’s something like Salesforce, which is usually priced per seat per month, vs. security products that can be priced per application annually or per account monthly, etc.), R&D vs. maintenance vs. incidence response (this might include fines, manpower, or lost revenue if you’re down). The Salesforce book gives a lot of insight into the basics as well.

  6. Flex Time

    Has anyone ever done flex time at a large law firm? My firm doesn’t have an official policy (that I know of) but I remember a girl did 80% billables for 80% of her salary a few years back (she ended up leaving after a year of doing that because she got an in-house position).

    Anyways, I am concerned that it would affect the future of my career in a really negative way. 1) that I won’t be able to become partner or of counsel 2) that if they so “no” to my request of 80%, they will not trust me and I will then have to leave and 3) that I will be let go if I ask for flex time.

    Any words of advice would help. Thanks in advance!

    • Senior Attorney

      Can you reach out to the woman (please don’t refer to grown women as “girls,” most especially in this context) who had the reduced schedule and ask her about how it worked for her? I think your concerns may or may not be unreasonable, depending on your firm, so it would be good to find out how it went for her.

    • Scarlett

      I’m wondering if you’re talking about me! I did that. Bad move overall & I wish I’d had this board at the time for someone to talk me out of it. I was hoping to get a little more personal time in my life while I started to look to go in-house by going 80%. All that happened was I got paid less. I still billed a lot & it would have impacted my partnership prospects if I decided I wanted to stay. I knew that wasn’t the life for me, so I don’t regret it from a career standpoint, but there was no reason to take a 20% pay cut at a large firm – it doesn’t insulate you from getting staffed on cases and having a ton of work to still do. And they don’t pay you more if you bill more either. My advice is if you want to leave, just start looking and applying elsewhere.

      • BabyAssociate

        +1 one of my former colleagues did this and had the exact same experience

        • sweetknee

          I had a similar experience when I had my first child 15 years ago. Its very hard to navigate this well, and I did not end up with as much time with my baby as I thought I was going to, and got paid significantly less. That firm ended up breaking up about 6 months later, and so I found another full time job, but it would have caused me trouble in the long run if I had stayed.

    • TK

      Yeah, that use of “girl” got an immediate, visceral reaction from me … unless you are talking about an actual child, please refrain from calling adult women professionals ‘girls.’

      All of the fears you have may be realized. That being said, I good friend of mine when to 60% after her third child was born, and she still made partner (albeit proportional to her 60% contribution.) I think she’s the exception to the rule. Most of the women I know who tried to go less than full-time were still essentially carrying a full time case load, but making substantially less than their peers. I think it’s fair to assume that most companies do not scan through their part-time people for promotional opportunities or big projects.

      • Anonymous

        Oh gawd. If that offends you, you must have a hard time getting through the day.

        • Anne

          You all sound like little girls whining about this. The woman who went flex time was probably much younger than OP.

        • Sick of BS

          Yeah, every day is hard. We are all suffering PTSD from a lifetime of micro-aggressions. Take it seriously and make it stop. Everyone benefits from that.

        • Senior Attorney

          You know, you can be snarky and condescending and name call all you want. But the fact is that there are many people (not just women) who are in fact offended by this terminology, and if you use it at some point you are going to hurt your career/reputation/opportunities by doing so.

    • ANON

      Whoa, you had girls working there? Hope they got their labor law violations in check!

    • Never too many shoes...

      I am wondering about what is driving this desire…because, in all honesty, I think your concerns about not making partner and being viewed in a less-positive light are all valid and very likely to happen.

      So if you want to leave your firm, I agree with the person above who suggested looking for another job and then leaving rather than this. Because if you go this route, you will not become a partner at that firm and it is very possible that you may be gently shown the door.

      • ChiLaw

        I agree here. It is very hard to really work “80%” because when the work needs to be done, either you’re doing it or you’re not. There’s no “well this MSJ is 80% done, I’m gonna clock out” option.

        If making partner is important to you, I really wouldn’t recommend this approach. I saw friends pushed out at BigLaw for much less (refusing to take a new project on a Friday afternoon, basically).

    • Anonymous

      Yay! Open Thread’s! I love Open thread’s and these sock’s!

      As for the OP, while I am NOT at a large law firm, I DO have “flex time”. The manageing partner let’s me work from home or from work or from Dad’s house on LI, as long as I get my 600 hours/month billed PROMPTLEY. I am busy billing today, rather than briefing my cases, b/c he wants ALL bills our by the 28th. That means work for me this week on billeings, which are also billeable! YAY!!!

    • ace

      IME: it works if you recognize the hit you’re taking and that it will most definitely affect your ability to make partner and your overall value to the firm.
      That being said, it may we worth it to you. Go in expecting it to make you less valuable to the firm, but that it may work out for you and the firm nonetheless. I don’t think you’ll be fired for asking, but I’d be very discreet in how you go about doing so.

    • Coach Laura

      I’ve known known two who were 80% who did make partner. It took an extra year or two. They went back up to 100% after making partner.

      Research, talk, think it through, find a mentor if possible.

    • Anonymous

      I know several women in firm’s litigation group. The ones who were successful at keeping their hours low set strict boundaries and basically refused to take on more work at a certain point (they’d write an emergency motion for a case they were already on or something like that even if they’d already hit their hours quota for the week but if they were at their 80% capacity in terms of hours they’d refuse to take new cases or longer term projects). Perhaps unsurprisingly, none of them eventually made partner but I think they mostly thought it was a worthwhile way to get a better work-life balance during the year or two it took them to find an in-house or government job. I also know a couple people who were officially 80% and ended up making partner, but they basically billed normal hours – at my firm, even if you are officially 80%, if you work 100% you get paid 100%, so there’s not much downside to doing it, except the stigma that you’re “part-time.”

      • Anonymous

        “they mostly thought it was a worthwhile way to get a better work-life balance during the year or two it took them to find an in-house or government job.”

        This is important. Sometimes it’s actually more about being a way to find a bit of extra time to job hunt.

    • MJ

      I have seen this not work well several times in transactional law. In large firms, when clients pay you hundreds of dollars per hour, they expect you to be responsive all the time, not just 80% of the time (unless you have super-great clients who are the exception rather than the rule). Partners are also not super-receptive to the “Oops, I hit 80% this week/month, can we talk about this next week/month?” attitude. Childcare is a nightmare–you can’t really tell a client that you typically take Friday afternoons off and therefore will not be joining the deal-critical conference call. Can this work? Sure. Is it very, very difficult unless you have a lifestyle practice? Yes. If it didn’t work terribly well before, I wouldn’t rule it out, but you are right to treat this very carefully. Also, know that what you might experience could be subtle sexism–a lot of my colleagues got mommy-tracked and pulled off of good deals and clients, “for their own sake,” per the partners’ rationale. Yes, this certainly impacted their chances at partnership.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, +1 on this, unfortunately. I’ve been trying to think of how it might work for a long time, but…

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Your mileage may vary on this but few people get fired for not hitting their hours for one or two years. If your goal is to go somewhere else, don’t ask for less work here, just do less work and coast with your same pay.

    • maybe...

      None of the associates my firm do this for lots of the reasons already mentioned — the stigma, the actually working more than X% but not being compensated more, etc. However, one partner does do this, but she goes about it by having a reduced annual billable target. So some months may be at 100% while other months are at 70%, based on workload, with the end result of hitting 85% at the end of the year. Practically, this doesn’t mean she can reliably take off every Friday, but she can come in late/leave early for school events more often, do less “I just need to bill” work, etc.

      She doesn’t think it has affected her reputation in any way, but unfortunately I have heard other (male, of course) partners comment on it disparagingly.

      • OfCounsel

        I did this at a large firm for a couple of years as a litigation associate. I took a 23% pay cut for a 20% reduction in my billable hours (the extra 3% was to make up the difference in benefits/overhead – or at least that was the firm’s position). It was wonderful! It made it possible for me to be more present as a parent during the early school years.

        I did not try to take off a particular day or leave at a specific time. That would have been unworkable for my practice, but it meant that I did not have to stress about billing. I did occasionally turn work down – but then I do that now when there are not enough hours in the working day.

    • Babyweight

      I’m on 80% in a counsel position at my international law firm. I’m 4 years into this deal and very happy. I had to change firms to get it, though. Old firm wanted 80%, but to pay me 75%. Old firm wouldn’t protect my downside risk of going over my 80% hours by bonusing, etc. Umm… no. feel free to email me. mae at maewood dot c o m. I’m a litigator. 80% is life changing in that I have my life back.

    • P

      I did. It worked out great for me. I’m still here, but back to 100%.

      A few thoughts:
      –when I made my request to go down to 80%, I was well established and very well respected in my office. I’m regarded as a top performer, and there aren’t many other associates in my class year. My leverage was huge.
      –I considered “leaning out”. I think that’s a good short term solution if you don’t want to give up the money (in the short term) and you know you don’t want to have a long term future at the firm. For me, I wanted an upfront expectation that I was going to be billing less than I had been before I had a baby. I have a good relationship with the partners and associates at my office and I couldn’t handle the thought of looking like a slacker.
      –For me, the hardest part of being a working mom was when my kid was under one. Mostly because of the nursing, but babies are just more work in general. I’m back on full time and it’s been working out fine.
      –Being on a reduced schedule gave me a huge amount of confidence to say no to projects and to leave on time. I have a transactional practice so I was still in the office until 6 every day. But I was shocked how often I was able to be home for dinner and then log back on.

      It’s a very expensive decision, so only make it after you have made other lifestyle changes (outsourcing housework, minimizing commute, etc).

  7. Tampa/SPB Recs?

    Happy Friday Hive!

    FI and I booked a long weekend in St. Pete Beach for the end of March. We’ve been many, many times but always with the in laws so we’ve always done what they want to do so for this trip we have no idea where to start since we’re flying solo.

    We will have a full 24 hours in Tampa. No idea where to start since we’ve never spent any real time there besides the airport. Then we’ll be spending three days in St. Pete Beach.

    We will have access to a car. We like craft beer/cocktails, good but not necessarily fancy food, dancing/bar hopping, history/architecture, and generally lounging on the beach.

    Any recs for what to do/see/eat would be greatly appreciated! :)

    • Calibrachoa

      check out ybor! there are chickens, murals, history, and good food at the Ybor city brew pub! :)

    • Tampa/SPB Recs?

      ALSO – while in Tampa we’re staying on Davis Island…if that matters?

    • Katie

      Cigar City, if you’re into beer. One of my favorite craft breweries I’ve visited (and bf and I try a new one on every trip, so that’s saying something).

    • Leatty

      Here are some suggestions: eat at Ulele and go for a walk along the Riverwalk; check out Ybor (safer during the day); go to Ciro’s for great cocktails and a cool environment; barhop in downtown St. Pete or in Ybor; go to Cigar City for craft beer; visit the Tampa Bay History Center;see a show at the Tampa Theatre;

      Tampa doesn’t really have any beaches, so I would plan to just save the beach time for when you are in St. Pete beach.

      Restaurant recommendations: Ulele, On Swann, Pane Rustica, Haven, Cru Cellars, Datz, Columbia

      • Anonymous

        if you go to Ulele/Riverwalk, you could hop on the river cruise. Also on Riverwalk, you can rent bikes, Segways, and water bikes/paddleboards, etc.

        Since you’re on Davis Islands, take a drive (or walk) down Bayshore Blvd toward MacDill AFB. Bayshore is the longest sidewalk in the world.

    • CTAtty

      I was just down that way and we had a great dinner at The Avenue in St Pete. Hipster bar/burger place.

  8. Shopaholic

    Another food/diet question – when you’re eating clean, what are you doing in terms of seasoning your food? I love a lot of flavorful food, and especially spicy stuff. I can’t just eat chicken or broccoli – I’ll stirfry it in a soy sauce/hot sauce blend, but I’m wondering if anyone has any other ideas? I can skip the bread/rice/pasta etc. and just stick to meat and veggies but I get stuck when it comes to seasoning…

    • MargaretO

      Definitely fresh herbs! Those make the biggest difference IMO. As a shortcut I like to buy the tubes of herbs they sell at fancy grocery stores. I also shred ginger and freeze it in ice cube trays so I always have some to use.

    • Senior Attorney

      Also, one of the tips I’ve picked up from Blue Apron is that sour + spicy = delish!! So add a hit of lemon or lime juice to your spicy dishes!

      • MargaretO

        Omg yes acid always makes the dish! My cooking secret is to have a hint of something acidic in any meal I prepare – lemon, lime, vinegar, even tomatoes.

    • Anon

      I don’t do the eating clean thing – but is there some reason you can’t use normal spices? Are garlic, ginger, hot peppers out?

      • pugsnbourbon

        Could be wanting to limit salt and/or looking for more flavor in spices rather than butter, oil, etc.

        Also in some diets (very strict Paleo and FODMAP, I think) nightshades are out, which includes things like paprika.

    • Calibrachoa

      My avourite combination I use are sundried tomato + chili and lemon juice/lemongrass + pepper +/cumin and garlic + ginger . You can get dried spices without preservatives and grind your own, or make your own garlic + ginger paste if those are an issue.

      I find all three combos go well with chicken, and the sundreied tomato especially goes really well with root veg or lentils.

    • Scarlett

      Roasting is my secret to tasty veggies. Longer than you would think. I usually just roast w/ olive oil and salt, and then add a good squeeze of lemon over everything when they come out. Bon appetit put out a helpful roasting chart a while ago – it listed good spices to pair with veggies.

    • Jules

      Try infused olive oils. I have one that is infused with lemon oil (from Whole Foods, so easy to find) and another from a specialty oil and vinegar shop infused with “Persian lime” oil that is truly amazing, but there are lots of others. A little goes a long way and it perks up veggies, beans/lentils, pasta, the fish that my SO eats. I took to a potluck recently some squash and yams that were just steamed and tossed with a little salt and the lime olive oil and everyone raved about.

    • AnonyMom

      Cumin is a pretty versatile spice that add depth-of-flavor. Can be used across multiple cuisines as well. Another herb that deepens flavors, IMHO, is thyme. I recently bought some of the refrigerated tubes of fresh herbs, and I think they are a good time saver and way to have near-fresh herbs around without constantly shopping.

    • Bonnie

      Look at some of the recipes for the Eat Fat Get Thin diet. He focuses on clean eating.

    • Yum yum spices

      Look into Penzeys! They have so many delicious seasoning blends–most are Gf and many are salt free. My favorites are Tuscan Sunset, Northwoods (has salt, but soooo good on roasted veggies with a dash of balsamic or soy sauce), Bangkok Blend (mix with peanut butter and soy sauce for delicious peanut sauce for zucchini noodles or shredded cabbage), and Sunny Paris. Add them to when stir frying or roasting. Pro tip: add a tablespoon of hot water to a teaspoon of seasoning to reconstitute the herbs; then blend with plain yogurt to make yummy dips for veggies or salad dressing.

      Also, sign up for their email list to get free seasonings every month or so. I promise I don’t work for them. Just a huge fan!

      • Yum yum spices

        Added bonus: Bill Penzey, their CEO, has been very vocal against racism and made some anti-Trump comments. So of course, the fringe right has boycotted the company. I view it as all the more reason to buy all the spices! (Google Bill Penzey’s Letter to CEO’s)

    • ANP

      +1 for Penzeys: their spices are incredible — even regular old pepper! — and I love their politics (though that may not matter to you). A clean soy sauce substitute is coconut aminos, which I order from Amazon.

    • Julia

      A super clean combo I like is chicken sauteed with celery then splashed with a lot of lemon juice and topped with the celery leaves. Celery has more flavor than you might think.

      • Julia

        Similarly, you might consider taking advantage of traditional mirepoix flavor combinations, which vary by cuisine.

    • anne-on

      Not sure your definition of clean eating is, but a few of my favorite things to marinate in are lemon zest or lemon juice, honey (not too much or it will burn), olive oil, and salt/pepper.
      Gouchjang paste is amazing mixed with lime juice and added to just about everything.
      Fish sauce, lime juice, hot sauce and a tiny bit of brown sugar makes an amazing marinade for raw shredded carrots and cabbage.

  9. Anon

    Asking for a friend: he has a conference in Cincinnati next week and wants to know what he can bring back as souvenirs for his family. When he goes to Seattle he brought back coffee, Texas was a cowboy hat, etc.

    • Anon

      I live in Texas and can’t remember the last time I saw someone wearing a cowboy hat.

        • JuniorMinion

          I see people in both hats and boots but I feel like with hats especially its only the real ballers and / or ranchers that wear them and they are legit expensive Stetsons. Same with boots, the people I know who wear them wear the real deal not the souvenir versions.

          • Calibrachoa

            And that’s why when I was in Texas i asked my friend to take me to where the locals buy their boots from ;)

        • Anonymous

          I grew up in Dallas and never saw boots or cowboy hats unless I went to visit my grandfather in the panhandle. Now I live in Houston, and they are everywhere, especially during Rodeo.

    • Cincinnati

      Reds gear, Rookwood pottery, ship home Graeter’s ice cream, Skyline chili or Montgomery Inn BBQ sauce, local beer–Rhinegeist or Mad Tree.

      • Jules

        I agree with all of these. I don’t eat meat, and Skyline chili is maybe an acquired taste – I have a friend from Cincinnati married to a Texan and one of their running arguments is whether Skyline is in fact chili. But it’s definitely a Cincinnati thing. Oh, and to be authentic, it’s served on top of spaghetti, with grated cheddar or American cheese. Really.

        Graeter’s ice cream is very good.

        • Cincinnati

          And oyster crackers, that you crush up and sprinkle on top. It’s a weird thing, but I’ve definitely acquired the taste since moving to Cincinnati at 18.

          • pugsnbourbon

            And hot sauce! And you cut it with your fork, no twirling.

            Weird but delicious.

    • LoudyTourky

      A can of Cincinnati-style chili. If can take something back frozen, Graeter’s ice cream or goetta. All of my ideas are food!

  11. anon for this

    Resume question – I’m 20+ years out of undergrad & 15+ years out of law school. It looks odd to me to still list activities like “law review” or “moot court” or undergrad societies, like Phi Beta Kappa, on my resume at this point, so I’ve taken them off. Would you leave them in/take them out? Is there a certain point in time where it’s just too ancient history?

    • Senior Attorney

      I’m almost 30 years out of law school and I still have law review on my resume. I think law review and Phi Beta Kappa/Order of the Coif are on the order of “credentials” and are appropriately permanent features on the resume. Most everything else has long since fallen by the wayside.

    • Anon

      I don’t list “activities” – like clubs or anything. But Law Review and Phi Beta Kappa are considered honors/awards. I’d keep those on. People look at those even many yrs after graduation – esp in law – to get a sense of your standing in your law school class 15 yrs ago.

    • Torin

      I would take moot court off. 15 years in you have real court experience if you need it for your practice area. Law review is a prestige thing though so could stay on. I see it on lawyer profile pages on law firm websites all the time.

      • agree

        Agree, I would take it off unless you won a national competition or something.

    • anon in SV

      I’m working with an outside placement coach. She made me put my law review back on my resume, and my co-ed fraternity.

  12. sa

    I was so happy to see the mention of Solar Panels on the morning thread. We have just decided to install them, but now we have the paperwork that’s due 2/28 and I’m getting cold feet. Does anyone have experience with them? We have a large house built in the mid ’90s and use ALOT of electricity. They will be almost $50,000 but out of pocket about $12,000 and then an additional $100 a month. Environmentally and long term I know they are a good idea but big purchases always worry me and in order to get the tax rebate our application has to be in by 2/28.

    • Senior Attorney

      I know people who have done it and are very happy about it. I think it’s definitely the coming thing. We are planning to do it the minute we get our new roof installed.

    • AnonyMom

      Where are you located? If you are concerned about cost, then it’s worth understanding if there is any discussion about changing net-metering rules in your area. If you don’t get net-metering credits that are on parity with the electricity sold to you by your utility, solar panels often do not pencil financially. It’s also worth understanding how much potential risk they add to your roof. I have clay tiles, which would be something like a 50-year roofing material. I used to work at a company that did home solar, and the head of engineering for residential solar in my area told me that he would not advise rooftop solar in our situation.

      Other things to consider if you haven’t already are whether PACE financing is available in your area. And whether you can get better financing for your solar panels via HELOC as opposed to whatever financing your installer is offering (assuming that’s what you’re using).

      The main thing, though, is to try to get a realistic electricity generation curve from the system you are installing (I think Google might have a widget) and determine if you will be saving more than $100 each month in electricity costs. Of course, you may want to do it anyway for other reasons, but I’m assuming cost is your biggest concern.

    • Bonnie

      What’s the estimate for how many years it will take you to break even? Ours will only take about 6 years so it was an easy decision.

    • MargaretO

      I have them and love them. I live in a pretty cloudy city and still end up getting quite a bit of electricity from them, my bill is super low. They came with the house so I can’t compare directly but the difference between here and my last place is very dramatic.

    • Sarabeth

      We put them on our last house. Over the long term, it was a clear win financially. We redid the roof at the same time, put on a metal roof so that we wouldn’t have to reinstall the solar panels to redo the roof *again* in another 15 years. They install very easily on standing-seam metal roofs. We also had a 6ish years break-even estimate. We sold that house, however, and I’m not sure if they added as much value to the house as we’d actually spent. Nonetheless, we’re planning on getting them again on our new house.

    • sa

      We don’t have enough roof and it’s sloped wrong to support roof installation. We are on 3.5 acres and have plenty of space to put them in the yard. Our break even estimate is also 6 years. The buyback is .18 which we thought was great until we heard that our friends have something like .28!

      • sa

        I’m in Minnesota so it’s the Made in Minnesota Program We’re Applying for.

        (Stupid phone and caps, sorry!)

    • Sydney Bristow

      Are you buying them or leasing them? I listed to a financial advisor radio guy named Clark Howard (that sounds weird, but he’s been around for a long time and is legit) and he’s always said that buying them is the best option. If you lease them and then sell the house, it can be difficult because the buyers have to get approved for the lease, which can be harder to do than qualifying for other things.

      • AnonyMom

        This. Do not lease solar panels. It’s basically a scam to do so.

        And seriously, look into HELOCs to pay for them. Most people don’t, but it’s a much, much cheaper financing option.

      • sa

        I loved Clark Howard when he was on the radio!

        We’d be buying them, we did compare HELOC and company financing and through the company was cheapest

    • Anon

      A few things to consider when buy solar panels.
      * U.S. solar subsidies ended in 2016.
      * Solar panel manufacturers and installation companies will go out of business as subsidies disappear.
      * Solar panels usually don’t last the warranty period so be ready.
      * Solar panels aren’t that efficient and they lose efficiency if they are not cleaned regularly.

      • Bonnie

        +1 about the subsidy. We installed ours in December because it lowered the price by half.

        As for maintenance, I think a lot depends on the roof. We have a flat roof and our panels are installed so they do not touch the roof and are angled. Because of that they require no maintenance on our part.

  13. Renting near Berkeley

    Thanks again for everyone responding to my question on the morning thread. Looking forward to CA despite the crazy rents!

  14. Accountant Woes

    How should I be engaging with my accountant, with whom I only work in order to prepare my taxes?

    This is my second year using an accountant, and the guy was personally referred to me. The 2 times we spoke on the phone last year he seemed scattered and very distracted. I chalked it up to it being late March and tax season. Our taxes were done, took longer than he promised, but they were done.

    This season I submitted all my paperwork super early – he said that we were the first to submit and we’d hear from him in the second week of February. I followed up and so far nothing.

    I don’t want to be a bother if I’m really supposed to just give him my paperwork and sit back and wait for a response from him sometime before April 15. Frankly, if he needed until March 1 or whenever, I wouldn’t care – I just want a reasonable expectation of when we’ll hear back from him. We’re anxious to know what our tax bill will be, but I am also in the financial services industry and know what it’s like to be busy like he is. Part of me think he’s lacking professionalism and I should cut ties and find someone else after this tax season … but maybe this is just how accountants work because this is such a busy, concentrated time of the year? Advice?

    • Anon

      This is how accountants are. I haven’t ever worked with one who had ANY timely email or phone call response times after Jan 30 — even when they say they will — they don’t; and it had nothing to do with how good/bad they were substantively. Frankly I always saw being swamped as a good sign that their services were in demand and would be uncomfortable with someone who is always available and able to give me the appointment of my choosing next week.

      • CPA Lady

        Yeah…. I try my best to stay on top of client emails, but for perspective, I have about 120 tax returns to prepare this year. The bulk that that information comes in in about a six week window, and it’s just me furiously plowing through as much as possible as quickly as possible, while trying to keep a very good level of attention to detail, track down all the random information I’m missing (it’s an actual miracle if a client sends in all their information in one go), determine what can be extended vs what can be filed, etc. Sometimes emails slip through the cracks, or I need to find more information before I can answer client questions and it leads down a wormhole.

        Also, a lot of times the person you meet and know and think of as your accountant is not the person who is actually preparing your return. If you get you return done by a public accounting firm or a law firm, your return is going to be prepared by someone at the staff or senior level or a tax paralegal. The person you know and talk to is probably going to be reviewing the return for completeness and accuracy. So the delay could be the preparer getting bogged down or getting delayed. This is different in really small firms, where the owner may very well be preparing returns.

    • Anon in NYC

      At this date, I’d relax a little and give him another week or two before asking for a status update. But, FWIW, I had a similar experience with my accountant of a number of years – referred by a friend, but we seemed very low on his list of priorities – and I decided to cut ties with him. Really glad that I did.

    • Anon

      I am a CPA at a public firm and I have a rule that I follow up within 2 business days (Monday-Saturday). I feel that a client’s question is important enough to respond. Even if it’s a response that they’ve read your email or gotten your message but have to take some more time to come up with a clear and accurate response. With that said though, it may be that your return is bogged down by the system. My office has a 3 step process: prep, verify, print. It may be prepared, but still needs to be reviewed and printed. In any case however, your accountant should take the 5 minutes to track it down and let you know where you stand!

  15. Dunder Mifflin worker bee

    I posted on this morning’s thread too late in the morning to get much feedback.
    Looking for advice on dealing with a situation with my manager. I’m on a small team in a highly specialized field. Our manager has somehow managed to delegate 100% of his responsibilities to us and also comes up with extra projects for us from time to time. Everyone on the team is putting in extra effort to keep things running smoothly and regularly working more than our assigned hours. Meanwhile, our manager is working 9:30-3 most days (he’s supposed to be working 40 hours), takes long lunches, gets daily workouts on company time, and only stays late for happy hours. As far as I can tell, it’s got to the point where he doesn’t do any actual work. Even his time spent “managing us” involves having conversations that are mostly about his family, vacations, etc. He jokes that he has no idea what the people on his team actually do and about how hard we’re working, says his goal is to “work less”, and oh yeah- he is happy to take credit when our work gets recognized from his superiors. I am trying not to let it bother me, but it really does. Enough that I’m considering leaving the organization just to get away from it. Is there any sense in bringing it to HR? Or do I just need to either accept it or move on?

    • Torin

      I would just start looking for a new job if it’s really bothering you.

      YMMV, but I see HR as my place to go when something specifically inappropriate needs to be documented and addressed, not as a place to go simply to express that my manager is a bad manager. It absolutely sounds like he’s terrible, but what can they do to make him not be? If he were being inappropriate, they could put a stop to it. But just generally being terrible? I see that as not fixable and a reason to leave.

      • Dunder Mifflin worker bee

        Part of this is resentment but also I worry that his gaming the system could reflect down on the rest of us. The dishonesty is what troubles me- like if I stay and don’t say something, I would be responsible for helping cover his tracks.

    • sa

      I think we work in the same office. Our COO just delegated his entire job to me. With no authority.

  16. DC Travel

    I will be in DC for work this week and am bringing DH. We have a free day on Monday and would love some recommendations. We have seen all the primary touristy DC things (monuments, Capitol tour, Supreme Court, several Smithsonians, Newseum, Spy Museum, etc.) but would like any less-obvious tourist spots we should hit.

    We are also free Monday and Tuesday night and would love dinner recommendations, or if there is a cool show or exhibit in town, etc. Thanks for any help!

    • Anonymous

      If the weather is nice, and you haven’t been there, I’d recommend going to Arlington Cemetary (since you’re staying near the airport). The metro stop is currently closed, so you’ll have to cab there, but it’s a good place to go if you haven’t been plus there’s a gorgeous view of the city from the top. (I know this is typically touristy).

    • anon a mouse

      If the weather is nice on Monday, check out Dumbarton Oaks.

      Also the Renwick Gallery is now open again after a long renovation.

  17. Anon Engineer

    Ahhhh I just got promoted! It’s way ahead of the “curve” for my position given my experience level, but I’ve proven to be a top performer at the company and I know it will be perceived as “well-deserved” within my department. For context, I’m an entry-level engineer a year and a half out of school, and just got the senior engineer title.

    I needed a place to share my excitement since it isn’t publicly announced within the company yet. :)

  18. lsw

    I just bought these, thanks! I commute in Chucks and they always fall down my heels. I only wear a 9/9.5 but it seems like all ankle socks are garbage.

    • lawsuited

      I’m a 9/9.5 and find a lot of women’s ankle socks are too small so I buy men’s instead.

  19. Anon

    If someone is a US citizen (by birth) and is suddenly posting a pic with their new Canadian passport and mentioning their Canadian health card — does that require them to give up their US citizenship? Or can you remain a US citizen and still have a Canadian passport/health card — like a dual citizenship kind of thing?

    A friend from HS and her DH who was raised in Canada (prob born there too but IDK) but came to the US at least 15 yrs ago moved to Canada. They’re both entrepreneurs, very wealthy etc. and social justice types – so I figured whatever, they’ll get another home in Canada and escape this administration for 4 yrs. Kind of shocked that she — a US citizen — has made it SO official, rather than just living there . . . .

    • Anonny

      The USA is kind of awful, my American spouse got his Canadian citizenship (GASP). You can have dual citizenship. Plus our health care is bomb dot com I would want a health card too.

    • Anonymous

      You can be a dual citizen of the US and Canada (or the US and any number of other countries). I have a couple friends who are. You don’t have to give up your US citizenship unless you do something like serve in a foreign military.

      • Sydney Bristow

        Or swear allegiance to your new country as part of becoming a citizen, I think.

        • Anonymous

          But all countries basically require that you swear allegiance to get citizenship. For Canadian you have to swear allegiance to the Queen. By allowing dual citizenship, it just means that they don’t require proof that you have not taken a second citizenship in order to renew your passport.

          My DH will never be able to get dual with Canada even though he’s lived here for ages because his country of birth citizenship requires him to submit proof that he has not taken Canadian citizenship whenever he renews his birth country passport. If he had taken it, they would strip his birth country citizenship automatically.

          • Sydney Bristow

            Ah, interesting. The swearing allegiance thing is something my sister in law said when she was going through the process of becoming a French citizen.

    • Anonymous

      As I understand it, both Canada and the United States allow dual citizenship. Health card is separate from passport entirely. You don’t have to be a Canadian citizen to get healthcare coverage, you just have to reside here. You’re insured by the Canadian province in which you reside at least 50% of the year. Lots of Canadian snowbirds winter in Florida or Arizona.

      Side note: I was reading an article the other day about American women getting bills for co-pays etc after miscarriages or having abortions not covered because they were considered ‘elective’ because the fetus had a 1% chance. I don’t know how you all survive it down there. I can’t even imagine how tough dealing with the money side of healthcare must be.

      • Anonymous

        On re-reading your post I’m a bit confused how she qualified. You have to reside here for at least 4-5 years first. You can get your permanent resident card much sooner, is that what she posted?

        • ChiLaw

          I think for citizens, the live-in-Canada time frame is less. I am a citizen, but only lived in Canada for college. I definitely had insurance by the time I was there for 6 months or so.

          • Wendy

            In Canada, the provinces handle health insurance and typically have a 6-month waiting period for out-of-province citizens and permanent residents.

    • Never too many shoes...

      Dual citizenship between US and Canada is a definitely a thing. I am not sure what is so shocking about becoming a citizen of the country that she is living in since it is open to her… Canada is pretty awesome, as Anonny, said, what with our healthcare (which pays for fairly readily accessible abortion even), marriage equality and the bonus of our hot, liberal and totally reasonable head of government. Plus Mounties and maple syrup and poutine….

      • Anon

        Uh why is it shocking — no offense — but it’s CANADA?? Sorry it will never be in the same league as America. Trump isn’t king — he’ll be gone in 4 or 8 yrs . . . .

        • Anon

          Meaning it just economically is not the same — just not as prosperous; no industry to speak off which is uniquely Canadian . . . I don’t see it as being worth it just for the “soft” things like diversity or tolerance or immigration or whatever. I feel like anyone I know who is Canadian with any ambition leaves and ends up doing finance, law, or medicine in the U.S. My Canadian family who is there – they aren’t particularly ambitious but get off on how fair and equal it all is . . . . It’s not for people with uniquely American values.

          • Anonny

            Not as prosperous? Meaning we have a smaller monetary gap between the top and bottom? Or that our middle class has been consistently wealthier working fewer hours?

          • Blonde Lawyer

            I have to laugh that you see an issue in getting paid more to work less. That’s the dream to which we should all aspire.

          • Anon

            That — that is my issue. There isn’t as big a gap between top and bottom and there are way more people artificially in the big middle area without working all that hard. So what exactly is there to aspire to?

          • TO Lawyer

            Wait sorry… are you saying Canadians aren’t as ambitious? That seems ridiculous to me. I live and work in Toronto and trust me, we have ambitious and brilliant lawyers, doctors and bankers making obscene amounts of money as well. Maybe we don’t have as many multi-millionaires but we still have big law firms and banks and reputable hospitals and universities.

            In fact, my undergrad was full of Americans because it was considered to be such a good school but international fees were way cheaper than paying for a great school in the US.

            This is just confusing to me…

          • Anon

            Right. You don’t have as many multimillionaires. Chances of being one there — much slimmer than in the U.S. So what is there to aspire to really? The top is not as high as it is in the U.S. What part of this is so confusing to you?

          • Blonde Lawyer

            You can aspire to make $100,000 or $300,000 or even $500,000 / year and be super ambitious and on top. I see no need for multi millions of dollars and that is something I have never considered an attainable goal in the US.

          • Anonny

            So to be clear, your chance at being a multi-millionaire is worth the trade off of thousands in poverty? Where is the consideration for your fellow humans

          • Toffee

            Anonny, you’re making me want to move to Canada. Rural Georgia’s pitiful medical care, schools, and general humanity has wore me down.

          • TO Lawyer

            I actually think there’s a lot to aspire to, including “success” as you seem to be defining it. And what’s more, it’s easier to climb up here. My family is an example of that itself. You can still make lots of money in Canada if you work hard, are smart and are lucky. I know plenty of millionaires, perhaps not Bill Gates rich, but definitely wealthy. I’m not sure what exactly you’re aspiring to if that’s not it.

          • Anonymous

            You clearly have different American values than I do. Hopefully, different than most of us.

            You have a lot to learn.

          • Anonymous

            I’m aghast at this. The level of cluelessness here is jaw-dropping.

            Canadians, I apologize on this person’s behalf. She is probably just too young and inexperienced to fully understand what she’s saying.

            Poster, I hope when you finally have an experience that shows you everything that’s wrong with the thoughts and ideas you posted – it’s merely enlightening and growth-inducing, and not truly devastating.

          • Dotdotdot

            hahahahaha.
            I’m a Canadian living in America at the moment and dying to get home (in Boston because I wasn’t able to find a job in Toronto in the much-more competitive job market for specialized surgeons.)
            Totally content in Canada. Love that I can achieve while still knowing that there is a safety net for people who aren’t as lucky (and for me if I ever get unlucky).
            Not sure that selfishness (you might call it ambition, but yours sounds like a particularly malignant version) is a uniquely American value- I feel like there are, unfortunately, selfish people the world over.

          • Nina

            Once your medical/insurance bill starts hitting above 10% of your income, or if you give birth to a sick child that will require a lot of medical care – it becomes worth it, “American values” fly out of the door.

    • Nationality Professional

      The U.S. recognizes dual citizenship and cannot strip a citizen of citizenship except in incredibly rare circumstances, and most of those exceptions require you to have *intended* to surrender your citizenship by that act.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I don’t know this for a fact but I believe if you have a job that requires a security clearance you may have to relinquish your dual citizenship and be a US citizen only. I looked into it at one time because I’m within the degrees of separation of a non-US born grandparent but it could impact clearance for a job I was applying to and possibly my husband’s (if I got dual citizenship and he got it through me via marriage). I swear a law school friend retained his dual citizenship while doing an internship at the US attorneys office so it might only be for the highest levels of clearance.

    • Oh so anon

      I’m not sure what part is shocking? This is similar to my story: born in the US, moved to Canada, became a permanent resident and ultimately a Canadian citizen. I have dual citizenship, but probably will not live in the US again. I am proud of and celebrate both of my nationalities.

  20. Anon

    Any suggestions for a great grapefruit-ish perfume that isn’t too sweet?
    My sister had the guerlain one but said it was too floral, so looking for something with grapefruit.

  21. Jo March

    I want to improve my quantitative/data analytics skills and was thinking of using lynda.com or Coursera for Excel and eventually learning to use R.

    My question is how do I list that on my resume? Are lynda.com and Coursera seen as legitimate learning methods or should I be paying for something like General Assembly? Do I simply list Excel and R on my resume as “technical skills” without mentioning how I learned them? Given my educational and professional experience, a certain level of Excel skills are expected, but I’m looking to extend my skill level beyond that. R is not something that I would have picked up in school or at work, so I’m not sure if how I learn to use it signals a certain level of competence to future potential employers.

    My employer won’t be paying for any part of this learning experience and I’d be doing it on my own time over the weekends, so not having to pay for expensive tutorials or software would be ideal.

      • Lilac

        Quantitative data software, usually used by economists, sociologists and political scientists. Personally I just have my software skills listed on my resume and not how they were acquired

    • baseballfan

      I have taken a few courses on Lynda for Excel, Access, and SQL . I wouldn’t put those on my resume, though. How you acquire the skill isn’t relevant, having the skill is.

      I also don’t know what R is…..

    • Sciencegal

      @Anonymous, R is a statistical programming language, it’s mostly used for data analysis especially large data sets.

      @JoMarch I am doing the exact same thing except that I am learning R to use for work i.e. learning on the job. I plan to list mine under “Professional development”. You can think of something along those lines. I am using EdX the website for tutorials. I have seen people display Coursera credentials on LinkedIn so I think it’s fairly acceptable. Also you can pick up skills in many ways so it’s not a given that if you list something you will be asked to explain “in which course did you learn skill X?” If I were you I would pick the cheaper option e.g. do it for free or for a small fee. FYI, I am finding the “Introduction to R for data science” with Microsoft on EdX to be well explained.

    • Extra skillz

      Two questions: Are you in tech? Are you in the Bay Area? If the answer to one or both is “yes”, then I think listing the name of the Coursera course would be reasonable, but I wouldn’t list Lynda courses. Or, just list them without saying where you learned them, since it’s pretty easy to check whether you have the skill or not with a test in an interview. You might also check out Khan Academy for courses. I’ve also seen engineers list their programming languages as a “skills” section of their resume. My DH is a software engineer, so he lists the stack/languages for each position in the bullets for previous roles on his resume, and includes that languages in his Linkedin summary.

      I definitely think that R signals a certain level of competence. I’m in marketing for a tech company, and the fact that I even know what R is has served me well… I can’t do anything in it, and I wouldn’t really even recognize it if I saw it, but it opens doors for me with the super technical folks because they at least recognize that I’ve heard of something integral to their jobs and I know the general outcomes associated with those who use R in their daily work.

    • Anonymous

      I work in data analysis. You would list them under technical skills. I’ve commonly seen something like (learning) after it. A technical interview would reveal what you know, and the vast majority of people do not care how you learned. I work at a SAS-based org, use borrowed R code occasionally, and taking the coursera class on R happens to be one of my annual goals.

      Learning new things is always great, but in in my office if you don’t have the analytic credentials to go with it (ie, a masters in an analytical field), then you wouldn’t get an interview. On the flip side, we have interviewed so many people who list “SAS Certification” (a certification that you earn, um, buy by taking expensive classes) that we’d definitely never favor a candidate who listed that rather than simply listing it as a competency.

      What matters more to us in resumes is providing a description of the work done in the particular software.

      • Toffee

        Tacking on to this, regardless of your undergrad degree, you can get a Master of Computer Science from Georgia Tech if you work in, say, data analysis doing R and/or Python. It’s an online program and the data analysis specialty is widely praised and very reputable. The program is affordable and exceptionally well designed. I started in January and love it.

    • AnonyMom

      I’m a Data Scientist. Learn python if you are going to learn to analyze data, it’s way more useful and versatile. I pretty much won’t hire someone who only knows R (but TBH, I won’t hire someone who doesn’t have many years of experience analyzing complex data sets anyway).

      Also, learn data visualization which is a much needed skill that companies are learning to value more and more. Tableau is a pretty good, universal tool.

      • Anon

        I feel like ‘data scientist’ is code for computer engineer who took one stats course. I worked political analysis and the ‘data scientist’ couldn’t figure out how to properly weigh (or not weigh) human data because he wasn’t familiar with nuances of math or living research subjects. If OP is going to do anything in a research capacity R is really important if you’re going to work for a bro tech company Python is the way to go.

        • Anonymous

          I feel like this was kind of an unnecessary response. Definitely not the nicest thing to post back to someone who specifically says “I am a data scientist.” Maybe Friday night wine and Corporette posting don’t mix?

        • AnonyMom

          Not really sure how to respond to you. I have a PhD in physics, and most people would say I’m pretty decent at math. I do work at a tech company now as one of the only technical women, but as it turns out most of my colleagues are not “bros”. They are quite interesting and decent people.

          I don’t have experience working with live subjects, but I’ve got quite a bit of research experience in academia. In my research group, R would have been a non-starter since we also had a data processing pipeline that was a mix of C, Perl, and Python. R is quite limited compared to Python if you are going to try to do any complex data pre-processing or joins without having to figure out a complex query. And at this point there are no statistical packages in R that I’m aware of that are not available in Python. Python also is much easier to integrate into a SW stack, if that’s a requirement.

          It’s fine to learn R, but to me that suggests that you can basically only analyze data once it’s given to you in a consumable form, and that whatever model you build you will need a developer to integrate into a broader pipeline. Also, most “data science” courses seem to teach R rather than Python.

          Regardless, I wouldn’t hire someone who didn’t have several years of analytics experience, and ideally an advanced degree in a STEM field. All else being equal, I would hire someone who knew Python over someone who knew R. I don’t have a strong opinion about whether someone calls themselves a data scientist or not. It happens to be my job title and relevant to this discussion.

          • Anon

            My main point was that Statistician =/= Data Scientist and I’m so tired of working with sub par people because the terms get accidentally interchanged. (Though sometimes I do think its deliberately deceptive)

    • Anon

      I work in the insurance industry (lots and lots of data.) I would be impressed if I saw R on your resume. But then I would ask you how you had used R in the past. If it were strictly academic and zero applied experience, I’d mentally write it off.

      So, can you use it in your current job and gain actual experience?

      • ANON

        Yeah, I don’t know what good knowing how to use R is going to be if you don’t know any of the statistical concepts behind it. And I’m sorry, but that Coursera Data Science package isn’t going to cut it for the professional world.

    • Curious

      Jo, I’m late to the game but:
      1) Ignore the haters; R is useful if you are trying to learn programming and data manipulation basics. They are right, though, that R packages are confusing and hard to use if you don’t know the basic concepts behind them (e.g. financial analysis, linear regressions). One way to test whether you actually learned your stuff is to download a publicly available dataset and see if you can set yourself and solve a problem based on the dataset in R.

      2) I think Python and VBA have less of a learning curve, and they are definitely both more practically useful for day to day task automation (as opposed to analysis).

      • AnonyMom

        I’m not sure anyone’s still reading, but if you are I am going to chime in and say that I think it’s a bit unusual to suggest Python and VBA as equivalent languages. Python can be programmed in a fully object-oriented way, and it is extremely flexible. Its analytical capabilities are fully vectorized, and the PANDAS data frame provide a solid foundation for pretty much any type of analysis. It’s also extremely easy to extend the capabilities of standard libraries with your own.

        I know it sounds like I’m a shill for python, but I feel it’s important to post here in case anyone comes back to this discussion and is trying to understand the lay of the land. I’m wondering if the people who are posting about R as being the superior state-of-the-art are maybe not data scientists themselves and have instead worked with other people who do statistical analyses. If you have a data set at the ready, R and Python are fairly equivalent in terms of the types of statistical analyses you can do (though if you want to use TensorFlow, the only hooks for analyses right now are in Python). But if you want to be able to wrangle messy data before analyzing it and then do more with the output, Python is a much better bet.

    • kag

      R help manuals themselves are very helpful (I use R studio to access them). There are also plenty of books about R, some are even free if you have Amazon Unlimited. Look for one with a lot of examples and screen shots.

      If you have no background in statistics, I’d definitely recommend basic statistics undergraduate book, so that you actually understand what are you doing (instead of just being able to do some complicated analysis, but not actually knowing what is going on behind this line of command that you’ve written).

      Even if you don’t want to do complicated analyses, R is a good way to automate. Make sure that you learn to do loops.

    • Anonymous

      You can’t really learn R or any other statistical package unless you have already studied statistics or are studying statistics simultaneously. When we are hiring, we don’t look for skills with specific software packages, we look for statistical expertise. Different software packages are best for different analytical techniques anyway. I regularly use six different pieces of statistical software. Bottom line: don’t just set out to learn R. Take a stats class instead.

      • Anonymous

        Adding: You absolutely must have a strong understanding of the assumptions behind the models you are trying to run. This is why you need to take real academic courses in statistics.

        • AnonyMom

          I agree with this. The biggest problem in data science today, IMHO, is that people apply models without understanding them or why they work. I went to school before there were many statistical packages, so I had to code up any statistical models I was going to use and fully understand them (and my implementation). Most people coming out of school today don’t understand this stuff, and it can lead to bad models.

  22. GirlFriday

    This is a reach but I really hope the hive can help me. A while ago a friend gave me an Ann Taylor LOFT shirt that she didn’t like and I am obsessed with it. The first time I wore it, I went online to see if I could buy 5 more, but they had already discontinued the style (curse you, fast fashion!). I have searched eb*y, Ama*on, and done a g**gle image search to try to find it, but no luck. Any tips? I’m debating buying something that looks similar on the web site before just giving up. For the record, it’s eggshell white, kind of a high low style, short sleeve, crew neck t-shirt material (polyester) with a rayon overlay in front that elevates it from casual to business casual. TIA!

  23. Acupuncture for TTC

    I’m signed up for a consult with an acupuncture clinic next Weds and the consult will include my first treatment. The scheduler doesn’t ask for what ailment you are seeking treatment. I’m curious if acupuncture for fertility issues is normally done during specific times of your cycle. Anyone have it before? DH and I have both been checked out and we are currently in the “unexplained” box but still doing more testing.

    • GirlFriday

      I did acupuncture for TTC for about two weeks, so six sessions (we’re both unexplained/healthy too so I feel your pain – good vibes sent your way!) I really enjoyed the visits because you just lie alone in a dark room most of the time, so it’s kind of like a scheduled nap. Anyway, after my initial consult/treatment I asked for a vague timeline. Acupuncturist wanted me to come in 3X per week for six weeks, then we would re-evaluate. It ended up being too expensive and time-consuming (hourly worker and insurance didn’t cover). Good luck! I have a friend who swears by acupuncture for TTC. I appreciate that the acupuncturist was very up front with me that treatment might not resolve my issues immediately. Very different from Western medicine’s “take this pill and you’ll be better in the morning.”

      • Acupuncture for TTC

        Thanks. We have a community acupuncture facility where I live. Sliding scale up to $30/session, pay what you can afford. $30 is cheaper than my insurance co-pay and it is the highest end of their scale. It means I will share a large hall with up to 20 other people getting acupuncture at the same time but it will still be dark and relaxing.

        • jlg

          They will do different treatment depending on cycle but will talk to you before needling anything. I had success 2x with acupuncture for TTC and only went 1x per week. Took 2-3 cycles each time after a year and a half of trying and unexplained difficulty. Best of luck.

    • Anonymous

      Did acupuncture + traditional fertility treatment to conceive my son years ago. I had to go three times a week, regardless of where I was in my cycle. In your initial appointment, they will tell you what you need to know – just be up-front with them about what’s going on and answer their questions honestly. I really do feel it worked for us, FYI. We had been told we would have to do IVF and I was able to conceive with our first (and only, as it turned out) IUI.

    • Anonymous

      If you’re only crying about the relationship, end the relationship. If you’re crying a lot at any number of things than therapy/visit to your PCP for a referral to a psychiatrist who might be able to give you meds.

      • Torin

        Mostly agree, but if you’re crying because the relationship just ended, allow yourself to cry. If this lasts more than a couple of months, proceed to sentence 2 of anon at 4:55’s advice.

  25. ugh

    A relative has a document from his therapist that his dog is an emotional support animal. Therapist’s license # is on it as is contact info. Yet landlord is refusing to accept it, says people can buy this online and scam landlords out of money. Not sure where this specific thing falls under non-discrimination, nor do I know how to help him. Poor guy is already low on money and can’t afford a lawyer.

    I’ve lived in major cities (think NYC, LA, etc.) and landlords don’t seem to blink at this sort of thing, they just add it to the tenant’s file in case of issue later and move on. Maybe in the midwest it’s different?

    • ChiLaw

      I briefly worked at the [City] Division of Human Rights and like more than 1/2 my work was emotional support animals — basically telling landlords they had to let them in. So maybe google “[City] Division of Human Rights” or whatever the authority is there?

    • COtoNY

      This is probably too late for you to see but the law for this is under HUD. Point your friend there– the landlord must allow your friend to live in his building.

  26. Sloan Sabbith

    Oh please god let it be 5 pm soon.

    I’m on blood thinners right now. I wanted to wear ankle pants to show off my new shoes today (and I looked AWESOME) and so I had to shave my very lower leg. I don’t shave during the winter, unless it’s a special occasion. I took a piece off my ankle bone and it bled like crazy. I changed bandaids twice before leaving my house a half hour later and stuck a piece of gauze and some tape on it to try to get it to stop bleeding.

    Well, I’m sitting at work about three hours later, ankle sitting on my thigh as I naturally sit (criss-cross) and itch my ankle. It’s wet. I look down and it looks like a horror movie on leg. In my khaki pants. Blood from upper thigh to my knee, dripping down the side of my legs, the whole shebang. I’m in new shoes, so my first thought is “oh my god my SHOE.” I know, not the most important thing but come on.

    So I swear like a mother, take off my shoes and walk in socks to the bathroom, where thank god two legal assistants come in and helped me- we raided the office first aid kit, stuck a huge piece of gauze to my ankle with two bandaids, and one of them brought in their (clean) gym leggings. My sock was soaked completely through with blood, so I’m now freezing in my emergency flats and wearing leggings for pants.

    Three hours until I can go home and pretend this never happened.

      • Senior Attorney

        HAHAHAHA!! I think “laugh” is the best move here.

        OMG thanks for a great story on a very long Friday afternoon!

    • Anonymous

      I feel you, I bled through my tampon, pad, undies AND pants yesterday…. emergency leggings ftw

      • Sloan Sabbith

        That happened to me last week. It came early. I was in a white patterned skirt. I thought the receptionist was complimenting my skirt. She was….not. She was pointing out the HUGE BLOODSTAIN on the back.

        That time there was nothing I could do except put on my wonderfully long jacket and leave the office.

        I’m bringing extra pants to the office on Monday. Twice in a week…

    • Marshmallow

      OMG this is both awful and hilarious. I absolutely would have gone home or at the very least taken it as an excuse for some emergency pants shopping.

      Are your new shoes OK?

      • Sloan Sabbith

        I uh, haven’t had the heart to look. They’re black sneakers, so they should be okay, but they’re sitting on my floor and I’m kind of worried.

  27. Ariadne

    What are some good jean or casual pant styles for an hourglass figure with thin legs? I like my current jeans / pants, but none of them seem to look great(some have been altered to fit better, but still, not great)..how do I take my pants/ jeans to the next level? This is likely why I own way more skirts and dresses….. Still, I like the occasional jean– just one that looks better than what I currently have.

    • Ariadne

      I currently have some skinny dark jeans, and dark bootcuts — am a size 12/14 smaller waist wider hips, thin legs.
      TIA!

      • GirlFriday

        I like J Brand’s skinny pants, and AG Stevie. Usually altering does the trick for me if I need pants tapered (aka skinnified for those of you who remember awful tapered jeans that is NOT what I mean here!) Last week a colleague came in on casual Friday looking like a million bucks in her jeans. When I asked where they were from she said “You won’t believe this but… they’re high waist jeggings from Am Eagle Outfitters!” I went the next day and bought two pairs. AEO has really stepped up their game since I last shopped there (probably 17 years ago…SIGH). Anyway, maybe give them a try?

        • Ariadne

          Thank you for the suggestions – those sound great…I will try both AE and j brands tomorrow…hope the stores will have my sizes (going shopping with husband, so if nothing works “jean wise”we will both have a nice lunch, walk and outing)

    • AnonyMom

      I just got a pair of slim fit ponte pants from WHBM that I love! They are not my normal style, but they feel like sweatpants while still having a button and passing the “pants” test. They are pretty flattering, IMHO.

      In general, I stick with bootcut or straight leg styles. I think that true “skinny” jeans just make me look like an ice cream cone since my legs are so skinny compared to my hips. Having a back patch pocket (but not one with a flap), I’ve found, also somehow balances out pants on me.

  28. nutella

    “These are dark times indeed” Harry Potter line that is just so fitting when…

    (1) the White House *asks the FBI* to deny reports that there has been contact between the Trump administration and Russian intelligence; and (2) when the New York Times, the L.A. Times, Politico and CNN are barred from a White House. In other words, legitimate news sources that require sources to confirm stories, recognized as the gold standard in reporting worldwide, are being denied access for reporting the truth. Meanwhile, conservative-leaning Gateway Pundit, which knowingly spreads hoaxes in cheap exchange for clicks and hate-pot-stirring, has access. We have a problem when the leader of the free world calls the press — instilled in our very Constitution as an crucial element to democracy — an enemy.

    • AnonyMom

      This quote from HP has been stuck in my head since election day:
      “Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.”

      The time to make that choice seems to be upon us.

      • Marshmallow

        This one from LOTR has been on my mind a lot:

        “I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
        “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

    • Marshmallow

      Today, a Facebook acquaintance posted about how awful this all is (true) and concluded with, “I haven’t been afraid in the Trump administration until today.”

      Oh really, college-educated straight middle-class white man? How nice for you. You made it 36 days before you hit an issue that you felt personally affected you.

      • nutella

        Annoying, yes.

        Ever since the day after the election I have been hearing “you lost!” from Trump supporters and all I can think is, “You lost, too. You just don’t know it, yet.” We all lost, really, to a man who is willing and able to gamble the future, wellbeing, and in indeed lives of all Americans and all those who come here seeking refuge under American founding principles for … money? power? Russian favor (in exchange for money and power?) I’m not sure, but it is not with anyone’s best interests in mind.

        Regardless, as annoying as your fb friend is, we can use all the resistance we can get to keep him out of office and to keep out his spineless cowardly politician supporters from putting their own self-interests before their constituents, too. Shame on them.

        Encourage your friend to call his representatives or to appear at a town hall NOW that recess is in session! https://www.resistancerecess.com/event/resist-recess/

        • Anon

          Yeah, these people are my midwestern relatives. The ridiculous gloating is unsettling. They’re so much in victory mode I wonder whether they’re paying attention to what is actually happening now.

          If you even question 45, you get “yeah but HRC” kind of stuff (or worse, HRC memes)

          HRC ain’t the issue anymore, babe – that ship has sailed, and now we’re all stuck with this guy – and I agree, we all lose.

          I have lost so, so much respect for many of my family members over this.

  29. Anon

    Two fashion questions with you ladies that are so much more fashionable than me! 1) Is it weird to wear navy shoes with navy ankle pants? Is navy too matchy, matchy? If so, would you please provide me with ideas of something different? Links appreciated.

    Also, I tend to wear flats with ankle pants and sometimes wear basic pumps. Do wedge heeled pumps work?

  30. success? happiness?

    What do you consider “being successful?” In other words, what would your life be like for you to tell someone “I am successful?” Is it different than if you were to say “I am happy”?

    • Senior Attorney

      Uh, I can’t imagine a scenario in which I would actually open my mouth and say “I am successful” out loud.

      But… I have a good job with a good salary and benefits and pension. It’s reasonably prestigious. I guess by most reasonable measures I’m successful in my career, although the Big Job got away and I haven’t achieved the heights I expected when I was young.

      Personally? I am wildly, wildly happy in my marriage. I adore my friends. My son is doing well. I’d say personally I’m quite successful, although Lord knows it hasn’t always been thus.

      I guess in my mind success = happiness plus a certain amount of material achievement.

      Also? Neither happiness nor success is a static state. Life is long and has ups and downs.

    • lawsuited

      I’m very, very happy, and I think about how happy I am a lot. I never think about whether or not I’m successful.

    • Anonymous

      For me, happiness is internal. Success is external.

      I care a lot more about being happy than being successful. It is nice to have both but if choosing between the two, happiness wins every time.

    • Academic

      I always aspired to be able to buy the hardback as soon as it was published, instead of waiting for the paperback. I hit that goal awhile back and never hesitate to buy a book — though usually the Kindle version, these days!

    • Anon

      Eating all my meals in one day, working out 5 times a week, and not yelling at idiots.

  31. Rose

    Antiperspirant/Deodorant recommendations? I’m on mental health meds and I overheat (bad in the heat even without the meds)

    Now everyone and thier brother had a clinical strength and I’m looking for the “best”

    • Anon

      Certain Dri.

      I’m perimenopausal and was never a big antiperspirant user before but I need it now and swear by this brand.

    • Anon

      I use an Rx. I can’t remember what it’s called but it was cheap (from the pharmacy of course) and I can wear all my shirts that I couldn’t wear before due to pit stains. Highly recommend.

    • anon prof

      If you are somewhere with CVS drugstores, their store brand clinical strength is the best I’ve tried that doesn’t cause a bad skin reaction

    • lawsuited

      I used to use the clinical strength Dove anti-perspirant and it was kind of alarming how well it worked. If I applied it after showering on Friday morning and didn’t shower again until Sunday morning, I wouldn’t sweat at all for 2 days.

    • Canadian_MBA

      Secret Outlast with Xtend has worked well for me. As well, I suffer from overly sweaty feet, so a specialist recommended a product called Drysol. You build up the coverage over a period of days, following the instructions closely. You could also use it for ampits.

      Once you’ve had a chance to be on the meds for some time and reach a good, stable state, you may wish to ask your doc about other options without the sweating as a side effect. I have been on one or two anti-depressants (can’t remember which ones) that caused major night sweats! The one I’m on now don’t have such side effects, which can be different from user to user of the same medication. Just another option to explore down the road :)

  32. Anon

    You guys, I’m just ending a 3 day business trip and I did a capsule wardrobe. I felt so freaking polished. Yay for capsules (mine was navy and gray)

    • Stati

      How did you build your capsule wardrobe? Did you go off of a blog or put it together yourself? I’ve been wanting to do this but feel intimidated about getting started.

      • OP

        I did it myself. I bought separates in these two colors that could mix and match. I only brought things in these two colors. My work is business casual – here’s what I brought
        Navy jacket
        Navy shell
        Navy skirt
        Navy cardigan
        Wrap/scarf in navy/fuschia/chartreuse print
        Gray long cardigan
        Gray short sleeved top
        Gray skirt
        Wrap/scarf in gray/black/ivory print
        Gray low heeled pumps
        Blue-gray higher heeled pumps

    • Stati

      So I wanted to thank you…. your comment inspired me to get real and do my own capsule wardrobe today. I am donating 5 coats, 60 shirts (I’m embarrassed to even write this), 16 sweaters, 9 dresses, 16 pants, and 9 pairs of jeans to make way for a wardrobe that makes sense and actually works as a cohesive unit. I’m so grateful! Thank you!!

      I only counted the items so I can put it on the goodwill receipt ;) haha. And there was about a third of the closet I couldn’t bear to trash or donate yet but I boxed it up and will reassess later.

      You inspired me!! :)

    • anne-on

      Good job! I just came off a trip to Asia and also manged to do a capsule wardrode – 5 days in one garment bag…plus hand luggage, but still, very proud of mysefl!

  33. Anon

    Hey, my recent business trip involved long, long walks through the airport and between hotel/office and the blisters on my feet are telling I need a pair of flats just for this. I’m looking for something not too heavy that won’t take up a lot of room in my suitcase. Any recommendations?

    • Anonymous

      Pricier route – I do love my Tieks. But I recently took a cue from my 70 year old mother and sprung for a $35 pair of Sketchers Go Walks. They’re lightweight and fold, a little bit anyway, into my bag. Super comfortable.

    • Anonymous

      Cole haan has always worked well for me. If you get ones with a slight wedge they can work with your normal business clothes too.

  34. Stati

    Does anyone have a good source for simple, white everyday dishware that isn’t ridiculously large? I noticed that our cereal bowls are quite deep.. even with 1.5 cups of cereal in them, it looks like I’m rationing food. I’d like to visually trick my family into thinking the plates are overflowing. Actually… let’s not kid anyone here… I’d like to trick MYSELF into thinking the plates are overflowing ;)

  35. Gerianne

    Has anyone read about that doctor in Michigan that was allegedly sexually assaulting the young female gymnasts? If it’s true, I think it’s disgusting. I know it’s only legal allegations at this point but women have now come forward and said that the doctor did not wear gloves when he put his fingers in their private parts to adjust their limbs or whatever. We need to stand up as women against this type of behavior by doctors. and he was married with his own daughters.

  36. Anonymous

    I’m a first year attorney at a smaller firm that represents business/corporate clients for whatever they need. We are basically business generalists, taking on practically any type of matter. For a variety of reasons I probably won’t be long term at this firm. I’d love to hear from successful women attorneys what skills I should be sure to develop while I’m here, what practice areas may be smart to focus on. Any words of wisdom for someone who is working on a bit of everything for now?

    • anon in SV

      If you’re looking to go in house, contracts drafting, license drafting, m&a, labor/employment, and tax seem to be the big ones.

  37. Wildkitten

    I’m dating again after a 5 year relationship, and while dating is fun, that thing where you don’t immediately reply to the text messages because you’re pretending to play it cool is so hard for me.

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