Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Boot-Cut Crepe Pants

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Ooooh: love these Michael Kors boot-cut crepe pants. Beige is not normally a color that excites me (pants or otherwise) but this light caramel color really looks lux and fresh to me. The pants were $895, now marked to $534, at Nordstrom. Michael Kors Boot-Cut Crepe Pants

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  1. I like the color, but I just don’t like crepe. Anyone feel like it looks/feel cheap?

    As an aside, I read all of the fabulous reviews about the Bobbi Brown gel eyeliner and would like to give it a try. I would like to try a color besides black, which is what I wear now. I have black hair, dark brown eyes, and medium brown skin (Halle Berry color or thereabouts). Any recommendations on what color eyeliner to purchase? I don’t want to be too “out there” but I’m also tired of black eyeliner. TIA.

    • Eggplant or navy could be really pretty.

      • I have pale skin and hazel eyes and found that eggplant-colored eyeliner looks really good.

    • Always a NYer :

      The “Granite” and “Caviar” shades are slightly different than black without being too out there.

    • Brown?

    • Ask the person at the Bobbi Brown counter what they would suggest. (FWIW, I use a color named something like black plum ink, which doesn’t look noticeably purple but is softer than black. It seems to pick up the green in my eyes. But my coloring is totally different from yours.)

      • Thanks for the comments so far. I should have clarified that I don’t live anywhere near a Bobbi Brown makeup counter, so I need to make this purchase online.

        • I also like black plum ink. I’m pretty light, but it seems to be a universally flattering shade. Also, it looks really purple in the pot compared to how it looks on, so don’t be alarmed. Also, don’t forget to buy the gel eyeliner brush. It makes a world of difference in application.

          • I like the extra-fine eyeliner brush. (I’m not getting the name exactly right, but it’s something like that.)

          • Yep, MJP, that’s the one I’m talking about. They have two different ones, I believe.

        • just Karen :

          With your coloring I would go with Caviar if you want something just a tiny bit softer than your usual black, or black mauve shimmer ink if you want to branch out a little more. FYI, Nordstrom has a set with black and brown eyeliners with a small brush and a mascara for $42.

    • I have pretty much the exact same coloring. Navy, eggplant, charcoal and dark green would all be flattering and are actually pretty subtle on our coloring. I wear all of the above to work all the time (in house legal).

  2. Threadjack, but I just want to give a shoutout to Nordstrom’s customer service. I ordered a purse online a few weeks ago, changed my mind, sent it back, and it was never seen or heard from again. They have no record of it ever being returned, but they gave me a full refund in about 30 seconds, no questions asked. I just really appreciate the few places that still actually have good customer service (especially when I also spent about 15 minutes on the phone this morning with somewhere else that does not exactly qualify…)

    • Nice! I wish Ann Taylor would take a lesson from them. I tried to buy a top there this weekend and asked if I could return it if it pilled because it was a fabric blend that I’ve trouble with before. You know, the stuff that’s got a bunch of synthetics in it and and feels really soft until you wash it once, and then it turns all rough and worn-looking? The woman was like, “Well, there’s a girl here who has one of those and hers is fine.” And I thought, “So?” And she proceeded to tell me that I’d be stuck with it if the fabric turned out to be crap, and so I left. I’ll go to J Crew from now on ~ even though their stuff is sometimes crap, too, they stand behind it and take it back when you have problems.

      • I hate that! I was at Bed Bath & Beyond in NYC last November and this young lady was trying to give me the hard sell about their candles. I said to her that I had tried them but never ended up liking them because they always seem to have floral undertones (not matter what the fragrance) and I am very sensitive to floral scents. She insisted that I was wrong. I don’t even know what to say to that! Oh yeah, you’re right and I’m wrong. I’ll take 10.

    • LOVE Nordstrom customer service. Especially love their online live help feature which is fast and excellent. Just received a price adjustment credit.

    • found a peanut :

      Nordstrom is the best. They gave me a price adjustment on a dress I bought there when the dress got marked down over a month later. It was like finding $100.

      • I decided that I will never shop at Ann Taylor again when last week, I tried to get a price adjustment on a purse that I had bought there the week prior. It was 40% cheaper and they wouldn’t give me the price adjustment because the 40% was a “promo.” So I tried to return it and repurchase it and they wouldn’t let me because I had taken the tag off. Mind you, I was going to repurchase the very same bag right then and there.

        Their quality is poor, their clothes are unimaginative, and their service is terrible. Done and done.

        • That’s just awful.

          I had a bad “promo” experience yesterday, too, now that I think of it. I went into Aerie because I had a $10 off coupon and was going to grab some gloves to use as a stocking stuffer. The gloves were $15 and they were doing a store-wide 40% off promo. The girl said I couldn’t use my coupon because of the promo and the gloves rang up for about $9. I asked if I could just not get the 40% off and use the coupon instead, since then I could get the gloves for $5. Nope. I had to buy them for $9 (in case they sell out before I get to the mall again) and plan to come back and return them and use my coupon on another pair. Oh, and they didn’t know when the promo would end. Yay.

    • Bad customer service – how timely! I’ve been having laser treatments for leg hair for the past year or so. I usually ask for an early appointment, and I am usually at the clinic before it is open (why you would schedule clients for 8 am but then not have anyone show up to open the office until 8:15 is beyond me). So I’m used to waiting until 8:15-8:20 for my “8 am” appointment to start. Last week, no one showed up until almost 8:30 and my treatment didn’t start until 8:45. Ridiculous. So after my treatment, I complained to the person at the front desk, who claimed to be an “assistant manager.” All she did was repeat “Ok. Ok. Ok.” like some sort of parrot to everything I said. I mentioned that if I had showed up 45 minutes late for my appointment, they probably would not have tried to fit me in and may have even charged $75 for a missed appointment. Blank look and endless stream of Oks again. I really just wanted to hear, “I’m so sorry, we will make sure this doesn’t happen again.” I should probably call the clinic and ask for the real manager and tell her what happened. Part of me can’t be bothered but part of me thinks that maybe the manager would want to know. They call me 2 days beforehand to confirm my appointment, I think I will start calling them the afternoon before my appointment and make sure that someone will be there.

      I don’t understand why it’s so hard to just say, “I’m sorry.” Those simple words really can go a long way sometimes.

      • I would find that “Ok. Ok. Ok.” thing infuriating too. It makes it sound like the idea that being 45 minutes late would be a big inconvenience for a customer is a brand new concept for her. I miss old-fashioned customer service!

      • My mom’s gyn does that. She’ll schedule an appointment for 9 am, but she won’t get into the office (nevermind start seeing patients) until 9:15, and she doesn’t have a large staff, so I was waiting outside her locked office for her to arrive the one time I tried to see her. I can’t stand it (and the fact that her nosy husband is her receptionist).

    • Love Nordstrom’s customer service, but I have to give a shout out to Land’s End. Ordered (with promos and a living social deal), found out the stuff went on sale the next week, got a price adjustment no problems AND they sent me a hand-written card asking if I liked their stuff. Amazing.

    • Really? I have had terrible nordstrom customer service and it was my first time ever using them. I returned all of my purchases by mail 3 weeks ago and still haven’t heard from them yet

      • I would call their customer service number. I hadn’t heard anything about my return so I called and she immediately gave me a full refund.

    • Formerly Preggo Angie :

      Just had an excellent customer service experience with Shutterfly. While they couldn’t fix my issue (which was my own fault), they comped me everything (Xmas cards, wall calendars) so I can reorder – including rush shipping. Awesome.

      • Ditto this for shutterfly. I do my part in return by using them pretty exclusively despite offers from other photo places. I can usually wait for a good promo code too.

    • Baby DC Attorney :

      I will not shop at Talbots again after the very poor customer service I received last week. I purchased a top on the cyber monday sale (which, I recall, was 50% off). I received an email last week telling me they were unable to fulfill my order because the “merchandise is no longer available.” I then look on their website, and there are plenty of size and color options available for the top I ordered. I received an apology email from Talbots offering me 40% off of another item (10% less of a discount than the cyber monday deal). I then used the online chat feature to ask them about re-ordering the top at the 50% discount, and was told they could not help me.

  3. Early threadjack: I need suggestions for dressing my 50 year old husband for the Christmas party. Women always wear club clothes and a few come in cocktail dresses. Men wear blazers or just casual looking shirts. But, I have a hard time picking out clothes for my hubby that look good on him for the same reason I have a hard time dressing myself. We are at that age where the clothes are either too old or too young. If it helps, my hubby looks kind of preppy, and is very fair skinned with light hair. Help!

    • Khakis, navy blazer, button-down shirt with some kind of print or an interesting color, loafers? Or if you want to go more casual, a sweater over the button-down instead of the blazer? I mean…I just feel like that’s the male standard, no matter the age, for any man who would identify as even slightly preppy. (I’m in the South, if that makes any difference.)

    • my almost-50 husband usually wears a long-sleeve dress shirt in a deep color (he has dark hair plus he doesn’t wear deep colors to work thus it looks more festive for parties), dark-wash jeans, and Skechers-type casual shoes in black or brown. he stands out in a sea of Dockers and polos, and loves the compliments he gets from female co-workers (and gracefully deflects the wolf-whistles from the male co-workers… you had to be there.)

      • p.s. we’re in California. a blazer/jacket would be too much for his office parties. he also doesn’t wear a tie to them.

    • Don’t men still have alot of options that work for a range of ages? I think a nicely tailored shirt makes almost any man look good.

      What are “club clothes”?

      • Club clothes – something you would wear to go out drinking and dancing. Sequin shirts, leggings, super high strappy sandals. Not party dresses.

        • Sounds like a pretty happening Holiday party…

        • A little different from the country club look, I suppose…

        • Oh my lord, this must be my Southern side coming out…you said “club” and I assumed “country club.” Ignore everything I said earlier.

    • My husband is in his 50s and has two basic looks for parties –
      1) dark shirt with varied vertical stripes (not a work shirt), worn without a tie, and with dark pants and cool shoes
      2) blazer and khaki or other dress pants, described above by another poster

      • Cool shoes? I love the cool sneaker look but at last; he wears white Nikes or dress shoes. Maybe I will try to find something a little more with-it in black. . .
        Thanks for responding.

        • haha My husband is a musician so the cool shoes thing comes naturally to him. :)

      • My 60 yr. Old husband’s party outfit is black mock turtle or crew neck sweater with dark jeans. Sort of Steve Jobs… Blazer or leather jacket, depending. (His day look is pure Brooks Brothers, so this seems very party ish to him!)

  4. Sorry for the random threadjack, but I’ve gotten varying responses on this from people I’ve asked, so I thought I’d ask here.

    Is it safe to occasionally use birth control pills to skip a period (i.e. just keep taking the next pack’s hormone pills, instead of taking the one week of placebo pills)? I’m not talking about doing this every month or anything, but just every once in a while if you’ve got a special occasion/vacation/etc. I’d always heard that it was no big deal to do that once in a while, but someone recently told me that it wasn’t a good idea. I was planning on doing it at the end of this month, so I thought I’d see if anyone here knows.

    • Tried to Skip :

      Many doctors recommend this for women who have severe migraines or other symptoms. Keep in mind that it may not work for you, especially if you use really low dose hormones. I know whenever I try it, I just end up with cramping and spotting for most of the rest of the second cycle.

    • I’ve done this. It’s my understanding that there should be no health issues. I did have some moodiness.

    • In case it makes a difference, I’m on a 28 day pack of Trisprintec (generic of Ortho-tri cyclen).

      • I was on this for about 10 years. Just recently came off of it. I would do exactly as your suggesting, occasionally double up to avoid having a period (wedding day, cruise, etc). My doctors all said this was fine, and I never experienced any side effects. I did once have some spotting because later in the month I took the pill about 10 hours later than normal. But that was it.

      • I was advised by a nurse that it’s risky to do this with a tri-phasic pill like Ortho-tri cyclen. Your pharmacist is probably a good bet for advice if getting to a doctor is a hassle.

        • Yep. My OB said this is a big no-no… or, a really good way to get pregnant.

      • just Karen :

        It is trickier with triphasic pills – if you want to extend a week by taking the last week of another pack of your pill, you can usually pull it off, but going to another dosage is likely to throw things off and cause at least some spotting. I used to be on ortho-tricycline and would extend with an extra pack if it was really important to me (beach vacation, for example), but if your insurance covers, that can be a whole other headache.

      • You can do it with a triphasic, but there’s a specific way you need to stack the pills. I’d check out vaginapagina dot com to see if they discuss your specific pill and what order to take the pills in.

    • AnonInfinity :

      My OB told me that it was completely fine and that she does it herself all the time.

    • It shouldn’t matter, as your period that you’d be having is sort of artificially produced anyway. If you use insurance to purchase said pills, you might want to check on your ability to get the extras. Many only cover 1 pack/month, and the others would be at full price unless your doctor had prescribed them on a different schedule.
      Somewhat related, with some historical thoughts on why we have more periods in our modern society than many women were naturally meant to have anyway: http://www.gladwell.com/2000/2000_03_10_a_rock.htm

    • I think that it depends on what type of pill you have. I’ve heard that skipping the placebo works with some kinds but not with others. That could explain the differing responses you’ve received. I’d check with your doctor or pharmacist to be safe.

      • You must be using monophasic pills in order to extend it out. But assuming you are (and that’s easy to check via google), it’s no problem whatsoever. The whole concept of a withdrawal period is completely made-up anyway – there is no reason you can’t use any monophasic pill to give yourself, say, four periods a year.

    • I’ve done this a few times. I did it before I got married because I didnt want to have acne during the wedding (I only breakout right before my period). The only side effect was that the next time I had my period, my acne was a little bit worse (not terribly so though). Other than that, I have had no problems!

    • I know that my doctors have said it’s safe. But I would warn you that the time I did it, instead of a real period, I had a little mini period that lasted for two weeks! Like what you may expect on the last day or two of your period–but for two weeks! And I felt like I had pent-up hormones. Worth trying, but I would try it before doing it for a major event (like a honeymoon, let’s say).

      • Yep. I did this and had the same result. Talk about total backfire. You can do it, but it might not work out the way you planned.

    • I’ve done it on the mini-pill several times with no problems. My doctor said that it is fine. Actually, I asked about switching to one of the pills that are designed to only have a period every 3 months, and my doc said to just stick with the one that I’d been using (cheaper, and I know it works for me) and take it continuously.

      I found that I could do that every other month, but if I tried to skip 2 periods in a row, I had breakthrough bleeding, so I just alternated months and it worked really well. Saved a lot of headache (and if I knew that I had something coming up, say, a vacation, I would just adjust so that I had the period in the month beforehand).

    • SF Bay Associate :

      I did this for at least 5 years, and had a period every other pack. My doctor Rx’d me double the number of packs because I was going through them twice as fast. The first few times I did it though, there was a bit of spotting. Then my body got with the program. It worked beautifully.

    • There are two questions, really: (i) is it safe? and (ii) will it work?

      The answer to (i) is Yes, definitely. Seasonale, Lybrel, and Seasonique, the brand-name extended-cycle pills, are not different in formulation than standard BC pills. They’re just packaged different. When you take most types of pill, you don’t ovulate, and so your “period” on hormonal BC pills is more accurately called a “withdrawal bleed” – it’s produced not by a natural cycle, but by the cessation of hormones during the placebo week.

      The answer to (ii), however, is Maybe. First off, skipping periods is much easier if you take a monophasic pill (Alesse, for example) rather than a triphasic pill (Ortho-TriCyclen, for example). The easiest way to know, other than googling your brand, is to see if the active pills are all the same color. If they are, and only the placebo week is different, it’s a monophasic pill. Second, even if you take a monophasic pill, your body may not quite take to skipping the first time – it’s common to having spotting if you do this. When I took Seasonale, I had a lot of spotting for six months or so.

      I took Seasonale for years, and actually stacked my three month packs (so only one or two periods a year). I loved it and would have done it indefinitely had I not realized that I had migraine with aura (and thus, estrogen-containing HBC was contraindicated).

    • Tired Squared :

      Yes, I’ve specifically asked my doctor about this and it’s fine. No different than taking Seasonale (or whatever the pill is that blocks your period for 90 days instead of just 21).

    • another anon :

      BC, why not just call your doctor’s office? I guarantee they have been asked this many times before. You probably don’t even need to speak with the actual doctor–a nurse or nurse practitioner can likely answer this question.

      People here, while well-intentioned, don’t know your medical history, and it appears that many of them are not noting the fact that you appear to be on a triphasic pill, and that skipping placebos isn’t something that should necessarily be done with a triphasic pill. However, the doc may be able to switch you to a monophasic without having to have you come in for an office visit.

      Really, you should just call them.

      • Tired Squared :

        Oh yeah, I definitely didn’t notice you were on a triphasic. In that case I have absolutely no idea … I’ve only ever used monophasic pills (in which case skipping a period was no problem).

    • I used to do this during remote, mountain-area fieldwork at the advice of my (female) doctor. It hadn’t even occurred to me, but when I was getting the flurry of shots you need to travel to those areas where advanced medical care is scarce, she recommended it. Saved me a ton of hassle in the villages, and created no problems whatsoever.

      Keep in mind, there’s now a four-cycle per year pill (Seasonale?) which is designed to work on the same principle.

      • Tried to Skip :

        I’ve talked to a lot of women (including myself) for whom Seasonale/Seasonique were unsuccessful. I tried it for about a year and I would start spotting at 3 weeks until I had the week of placebo pills. From what I understand, the hormone levels are just too low to work for a lot of women. If you normally have heavier periods without BCPs, you’re less likely to be successful skipping periods with low-dose BCPs.

    • I suspect it’s fine. But why not check with your doctor? Your type of pill or personal concerns may not be the same as others. I don’ t mean to be snarky, but BC pills are a prescription drug that impact one of your vital systems (endocrine). I don’t think that it’s a good idea to get medical advice by anecdote.

    • karenpadi :

      I skip a period about once per year. Mostly just to avoid having a period on vacation. The first time I did it was for the Bar Exam. I actually figured out in April that I’d have my period over the bar and skipped my next set of placebos because I was afraid of side effects. Turns out, I had no side effects and my period was then off by a week so I was safe for the Bar.

      Sometimes I don’t have a period on my next set of placebos. Hormone overload, maybe?

    • My understanding of the history of BC is that initially they didn’t even have placebo pills to let you get your period. That freaked women out, so they built in the week of placebo pills.

      But check with your doctor if in doubt.

    • I’ve done it many times with monophasic pills. When a period comes the next month, it’s a little heavier at the beginning.

      I don’t understand why you don’t call your doctor about this? Or at least your pharmacist…

  5. AnonInfinity :


  6. Woods-comma-Elle :

    A question, if you please. Or two, actually.

    I have long hair, which used to be blonde and I recently had it dyed copper, a la Joan Holloway.

    My hairdresser did say it will fade, which is fine, but to stop it fading, I need to wash it less. I have for quite some time washed my hair every day. I know this is a bad bad thing to do, but I have really oily skin and it gets super super greasy really quickly, and it is a vicious cycle. Washing it every day exacerbates the problem, so I’m trying really hard now to get out of the habit and wash it less. I have dry shampoo and I’m trying to force myself to wear my hair up (I always wear it down as I HATE how it looks up, but I think I will have to wear it up for a while until my hair gets used to being washed less), but the main problem is night time.

    I usually braid my hair at night. I move around quite a lot in my sleep and as a result when I wake up, part of my hair is stuck to my face (the strands that are too short to go in the braid) and the rest is tangled and sticking up in all directions. Also, if I have to not wash my hair every day, I don’t want to keep putting it in a braid as it will go into kinks in the morning (not lovely waves, as one might expect).

    So my questions are:

    1. What do y’all do with your long hair at night? What can I do to make sure I can actually go out in front of people the next day.

    2. Any suggestions from fellow redheads on nice colours to wear? I used to be a pink/red/coral kind of girl, which is now out the window, so I’ve recently bought lots of blues and greens instead. Particularly for make up – short of nude lipstick, what options do I have?

    • a passion for fashion :

      I just sleep on my hair w/o doing anything. Then, the next morning i put some dry shampoo in, let it sit a few minutes that brush it out upside down. Then i usually use a flat iron to fix the pieces that are a bit of a mess. I often, but not always, wear it up on the second (and sometimes third) day. And by up, I usually just to a sleek pony — the height of which varries depending on my mood.

    • Always a NYer :

      I have long, brown hair that I dye to hide the greys and also found it difficult not to wash my hair every day. It did take a good six weeks for me not to feel like a total greaseball at work but I found a few tricks that have helped.

      First, I wash my hair every other night and use Morrocan Oil Glimmer Shine Spay and let it air dry overnight. The next day, I brush out the bedhead and pull the hair at the crown of my head back with a barrette to keep my hands from running through it if it were down.

      Then, on the second day, I use dry shampoo and depending on how I feel, I’ll clip back my hair like I do on day one or I’ll just let it loose because I know I’m washing it that night. Or, I just pull it all up into a bun and call it a day.

      It does take some getting used to not washing your hair everyday but I feel it definitely helps color-treated hair last longer. After the adjustment period you should find your hair isn’t as oily and is much more manageable.

    • I either sleep with my hair in a high pony with lots of bobby pins to keep the short wispy sections away from my face, or sleep with it down but bobby pin the top center into a sort of Snooki pouf to at least get the shorter layers off my oily skin. I part to one side, so the side with more hair gets really thick and drives me nuts by the end of any day wearing it down. Bobby pinning the top layers up is the first thing I do when I get home, and doing it in a pouf seems to help keep the hair away from my scalp so the top layer isnt so oily the next day.

    • Fellow redhead here. I love my MAC lipstick in a color called Fast Play, and my Benefit Sugar Bomb blush. They’re both on the warm side. For clothes, you might try the purple family – everything from deep maroons to dusty plums. Also, Lisa from Privilege has some posts on her blog about figuring out whether you’re high-contrast or low-contrast (there might be a medium-contrast) that I have found incredibly helpful – you might want to check that out because it sounds like you may have gone from low- to high-contrast with your hair-color change.

      Also, I have used many, many different kinds of hair dye, and for the last several years have been hooked on Naturcolor (7R: Turmeric Blonde, which is actually a coppery red) – it hardly fades at all (and I wash my hair almost every day), and it never gets that garish pink undertone you see on a lot of women who dye their hair red. It costs about 15 bucks, it’s ammonia-free and doesn’t damage my hair, and the company doesn’t engage in animal testing. Here’s a link: http://www.naturcolor.com/index.htm

      Congratulations on joining the redhead club!

      • These posts on high-contrast low-contrast sound super helpful…if conbrio, Lisa, or anyone has a link, that would be great. (tried googling but couldn’t find it). TIA!

        • Rats – I can’t seem to find the original post I was thinking about. But when I learned about the idea of high-contrast low-contrast, I then found this video by Imogen Lamport, which I found incredibly helpful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQWzTG6e0zA

          • And my apologies to Lisa of Privilege – I may have been mistaken in saying that post came from your blog.

    • Re: colors for redheads. For me, at least, the trick is to avoid anything with “warm” tones – nothing that leans towards orange. For lipsticks, I look for things that are more berry colored, and reds that veer towards brick. (My g0-to lipstick is Clinique’s Rose Aglow, which is fairly subtle without being nude – as in, it enhances the natural color of my lips).

      For clothing, again, avoid anything that has an orangeyness to it. Reds, pinks, and yellows that lean cool are usually OK. Warm browns tend to work, though. And black can be quite striking on redheads.

    • I wear my longer-than-bra-strap-length hair up in a high ponytail to sleep in.

      Last year I trained my hair to go from being washed every other day to be washing like, twice a week, so I definitely know where you’re coming from on this. Personally, I couldn’t have made it/couldn’t be making it without Oscar Blandi Pronto dry shampoo (the powder, not the spray). I also almost always wore my hair down before, but have had to get a lot more friendly with up-dos, and learning how to do styles other than a low braid or ponytail really helped me transition. So that’s my take on it :)

      • anon in SF :

        I also have oily hair, and shampoo every other day, or every third day. It does take some time for your hair to adjust. If your hair is super oily one day, I suggest hitting the roots with a blow dryer (maybe turning your head upside down) for 30-60 seconds. It tends to dry out the oil and give more volume, without damaging your hair too much.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      I wear my long hair in a bun on top of my head with a scrunchie. For the hairs that end up on your face, you could try one of those stretchy fabric wide headbands (the ones that go all the way around your head) while you sleep.

    • Woods-comma-Elle :

      Thanks for all the suggestions – for the people with ponytails/buns, isn’t there then a kink in your hair the next day? I would expect that I would have the same issue as with the braid i.e. I wouldn’t be able to wear my hair down the next day.

      • I just changed hairstyles. With my old hair, yes there was a kink, but it wasn’t so noticeable on day 2 and very noticeable by day 6, and I could often disguise it by some creative combing. With my new shorter hair, I overtightened my sleep bun and had to zap the kink with some quick flatironing. And noted to self to use a looser bun next time (as in, wrap the scrunchie twice instead of thrice.)

      • When I first take the pony down, yes, but it flattens out as soon as I brush it. Kinks from a braid do not.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I don’t get a kink because I pull it up into a ponytail but don’t put in a hair tie and then twist it into a bun and only then do I put the scrunchie around the bun.

    • I don’t usually put my hair back at night but had a thought for those of you who do:

      If you want to put your hair back to sleep but don’t want kinks of any kind, have you considered simply wrapping a scarf around your hair, a la Rosie the Riveter? I do this when I pincurl my hair and have to sleep on it, but no reason why it wouldn’t work just as well for ordinary, non-curling nights.

    • What I do with my long hair at night: I grab it in a low pony tail, twist it upward towards the crown of my head like I’m doing a french twist, grab a large barrette/hair clip (about 3 1/2″?) and clip the barrette catching the top of the french twist at the crown of my head (above where my head would rest). There is usually excess length, so I double it up and catch the ends in the barrette again.

      I hope these directions make sense. Basically it means that I don’t lay on a big uncomfortable lump of hair, or have loose pieces flopping around getting stuck to my face. I end up with a loop of hair like a topknot at the back of my head and wake up rumpled but still pretty ‘done’/in place. Oh, I have a smaller barrette holding the hair back from my face too. So a small barrette for the hair around my face, and a large barrette holding the length from the back.

  7. Like the pants. They look a bit higher in the waist. Are high waisted pants coming back? I just put on a pair of nice black pants from…high school…and then put them back in the closet because the waist is so high. Now I’m wondering if they’re fashionable again. Although I have to say I think I look better in a mid-rise anyway. Just the same, it’s an ego boost to wear pants from 15 years ago (yeah, I was fully grown by 14 so they still fit).

  8. I can’t get excited about pants. Especially this color pants as I never have much luck with lighter colored pants and I am, for some reason, not a fan of most things Michael Kors.

    • Yeah, I don’t get the big deal about Michael Kors. Nothing of his has ever caught my eye as being especially creative, well-cut, well-made, etc. Seriously, I’d love to hear from someone who does appreciate his clothes. What am I missing? And why is he on Project Runway?

      • I agree. I never like the colors he chooses. Maybe because they’d be super unattractive w/my coloring?

        The styles do nothing for me either. But I’ve seen handbags that weren’t so fugly.

  9. Wish I could “splurge” on Monday – those are lovely!

  10. Threadjack just to whine about my morning so far: My dog recently had surgery any I have to give him pills each morning and night. He’s now figured out that we put the pills in food and immediately spits out any food that we give him. That was an extra 15-minute ordeal this morning to force three pills down his throat.

    Then, getting dressed, I (foolishly) decided to wear a pair of pre-pregnancy maternity tights. They fit great while I was standing up. Sitting down in my office, however, I have realized that they will.not.stop.rolling. down my stomach. So it looks like my pregnancy bump has been bisected horizontally.

    Finally, I just took a bite of my last apple that I brought from home for breakfast and it was all brown and rotten inside. ….

    Anyone else having a less-than-ideal Monday? I guess this day has no where to go but up, right?

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      I definitely suggest Pill Pockets, if you haven’t tried them. A big dollop of cream cheese (or regular cheese even) also works well with my dog.

      • I made a mini peanut butter sandwich and stick the pill inside. Dog is so excited by the different textures/flavors that he wolfs it down, and only then does he realize there was a pill inside. I get the stink eye, but he’s already swallowed the pill, so I win :)

      • Baby weight :

        Peanut butter. A big glob of it surrounding the pill usually does the trick with my dogs.

      • I second Pill Pockets!! They are a lifesaver! My dog can find a pill in cheese, peanut butter, bread, anything — it was such a hassle and I hated it. With Pill Pockets, they are these soft little meat “pockets” — you put the pill in the “pocket” and then squish the ends together — my dog just sniffs them, then gulps them down. I buy Pill Pockets at my vet’s office.

      • Thanks for the Pill Pockets suggestions! We’ve used them before but my husband and I thought we’d be cheap and not buy them this time (the dog is also on thyroid medication and has to take a pill every morning and night for the rest of his life). Pill pockets are now ordered from Amazon and winging their way to my house.

        I think we’ve learned our lesson and the expense will be worth it to avoid him spitting out respectively this morning: a pill wrapped in cheese, in leftover chicken, in sandwich bread, and in velveeta. It’s a special kind of demoralizing to be outsmarted by your labrador.

        • So know that feeling – we were dogsitting for my parents and their Lhasa Poo regularly outsmarted us from giving him eyedrops. Have him again this week and he is at war with our chair cushions.

      • a passion for fashion :

        we used pill pockets for a while until our cat figured out what we were doing and refused to take even those. So, we now use a transdermal cream. There are certain pharmacies that will make any medication into a cream that you rub into the ear of the pet. works like a charm.

    • Well, my computer got caught in a power surge Friday afternoon, and the guy won’t be able to even take a look at it this morning, much less fix it. So I’m stuck as a different location trying to do what I can until he can get it fixed. And I’ve got cramps, and forgot to grab the Advil to fend them off. Sigh.

    • Soft white bread, a little lunch meat, wrap around the pill and kind of squeeze it until its a dense ball. Then we toss it to her so she has to catch it — she never figures it out. Plus, she loves it!

    • Accountress :

      My Monday’s been great! I woke up at a decent time, got my hair looking all awesome, actually put on eye make-up for a change, and wore my fabulous new dress from N.Rack. I got to the office parking garage, put my foot down, and looked at it.

      Instead of my cute flats, my feet decided they wanted to wear my ratty orange flip-flops. So now I’m tied to my desk until lunch, when I can run home and change.

      • LOL, I went through most of last Friday before realizing my shirt was on backward.

        • Once left a job interview only to realize my shell under my suit was inside-out. Luckily you couldn’t really tell with my suit coat on….but still.

      • So been there — although I at least discovered while crossing the street outside my house that I had worn my ancient shower flip flops out. Whoops.

    • My dogs must be less particular than yours, but I have had great success with almost any table scraps – meats, cheese, cream cheese, and I have heard peanut butter but didnt’ try it. The most convenient for me are those little cocktail weenies though – it’s pretty easy to push the pill into one and the dogs love them, I don’t even get the stinkeye afterwards.

    • Yep. Noncooperative children who did not want to get dressed, get their hair brushed, eat, put on their coats, or go to school/daycare. Noncooperative opposing parties/counsels backing out of an oral agreement to mutually release some liens (and which we had been delaying filing suit to get finalized). Noncooperative clients who are not complying with court orders re discovery. And I put on my favorite camel turtleneck cashmere sweater to discover that it has a hole in it. All before 10 a.m.

      So, yes, I understand. Here’s to a better rest of the day/week.

    • another anon :

      My dog may just be really stupid, but I find that it really helps when I am giving him a pill to act just like I act when I am giving him the BEST. TREAT. EVER. Dogs are excellent at reading body language, and he may be picking up on your stress about having to give him a pill.

      So, I would try some different kind of food than what you have been giving him – peanut butter, or cheese maybe. And then act like you are giving him a treat (e.g., if he has to sit or lie down to get a treat, make him do that. And if you use a certain voice when you give him a treat, use that voice. And then lots of praise after he eats it.).

      Last time my dog had to take pills, I would take a little bit of shredded cheddar cheese, microwave it for about 10 seconds to get it melted, wait for it to cool enough to touch it, and then mold it around the pill. Worked great.

    • Praxidike :

      Ugh yes. I have had a “cold” for three weeks now. Went to urgent care this morning and they diagnosed me with walking pneumonia. NO WONDER I feel so terrible.

    • Do your tights have any seaming? I’ve been able to snip the top of my pre-preg tights along a seam and then just wear them down low, around my hips.

    • I’ve been there. My large Siberian Husky almost died, but was saved by a regimen of TWENTY pills a day. For a month. And he caught on to butter/cheese/peanut butter very quickly. Pill pockets were a waste. The vet tech finally taught me to open his mouth and throw them back there. That amazingly worked, and saved my sanity (and my dog.)

  11. Ugh, I hate realizing that my clothes don’t work as soon as I get to the office. Can you take off the tights, or will that ruin the rest of your outfit?

    And my dog is also a complete jerk about taking pills. What I’ve started doing is putting the pills in something really really good (hot dogs, tuna, cheese, hamburger, etc.) and then making him do a bunch of obedience commands before I give him the “treat.” I’ll make him come, sit, and stay, and then put the “treat” on the ground in front of him and make him continue to stay for a good 2 minutes before I finally say “good boy, you can have your treat.” It usually goes right down the hatch after that.

    • Oops, that was meant for JJ. And anyone else with a dog. =)

      • Thanks! Unfortunately, it’s too cold here and I would freeze if I lost the tights. So I’ll just spend the day looking like 10 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound casing. =)

  12. Hey! Went to London this past weekend, thanks to everyone for all your great advice! Only major clothes purchase was a beautiful moss green wool coat from Jigsaw.

    I have to say to the people who recommended Hobbs — I’m almost happy they don’t ship to the US. I’d be so poor if they did (but oh, I’d look so fabulous!)

    Also thanks to whomever recommended the Masala Zone, it was delicious.

    • Yay, I was a Hobbs proponent AND the person who recommended Masala Zone. Glad to hear you liked both!

      And, PS, in the past week Hobbs has started to ship to North America. I can’t figure out whether that is good or bad.

      • Oh….why oh why did you tell me that. Their stuff was so nice.

        I also was a bit fan of Jigsaw, by the by. :-)

        • L from Oz :

          A good chunk of my wardrobe is Jigsaw (and their cheaper line, Keen – in some places it’s in a different shop, but in Edinburgh it’s helpfully upstairs in the same store) and I love their clothes. Were I rich and a tick thinner, I’d shop there exclusively.The stuff seems to fit better than Hobbs, for me, though they also have lovely things.

          Ah, UK shops. (In my current location, the best options are S.Oliver, Esprit, and when I’m feeling wealthy, Marc O’Polo. All nice, but not quite the same!)

    • I’m going to London next week!! When/where was a thread giving you recommendations??

      • It was the TPS report for November 23 (the item of the day was an Anthro shirt).

        • Thanks! This is an impromptu vacation and I could use the advice. PS – anyone ever been to the burberry factory store in Hackney?

          • Never been to the Burberry factory.

            If you’re looking for a nice dinner restaurant tip, we had dinner that the Grazing Goat one night and it was really good (and the atmosphere is really cute right now with the Christmasy vibe going on).

            We also had lunch at a nice pub-style restaurant called the Phoenix one day, which was near Buckingham Palace.

            We were only there for a weekend, so we did the hop-on-hop-off bus thing, which usually I’m opposed to on principle, but London is so big that if we hadn’t done that, we would have had a tough time seeing much. It might be an idea for the first day or two you’re there, just to get a lay of the land, and then just buy tube passes from there on out.

            Have fun!

          • Longtime Jew :

            Ah, but I LIVE IN HACKNEY!

            East London is the best! Brick Lane, Shoreditch, Whitechapel…

  13. I would love to get some advice on what to wear for a holiday party this Friday – it’s my boyfriend’s biglaw office party in San Francisco.

    I’m 42 and, thanks to an injury that makes me completely unable to exercise (broken ribs), have put on some weight recently. All of the weight is collecting in my stomach, and I’m feeling kind of generally flabby (ugh). I had been looking forward to finding something great to wear for this party, especially since I had been getting toned and strong from lots of Pilates sessions, but with my body in its current condition, it’s turning out to be not fun at all.

    I bought this dress last night: http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/adrianna-papell-lace-bodice-banded-dress-plus/3113829?origin=PredictiveSearch&resultback=5909.

    It looks okay if I’m wearing Spanx and not moving. But I have a feeling I’ll end up being very uncomfortable in it, and it will probably pooch out and look horrible when I sit down. It doesn’t have a lot of structure, and I can’t hold my stomach in all night (especially with painful broken ribs). So I think I’m going to need to find a plan B.

    Can I just wear a basic black skirt with a festive dressy top? And if so, does anyone have any recommendations for such a top? Or a dress that would work better than the one I bought last night? Something that’s not super form-fitting would probably work best.

    Thank you!

    • It is OK if your recoperateing from an injury. I once had the SAME thing hapen to me and I did the same thing.

      Right now, I have to go see the manageing partner about a new asignement with a new cleint– a labor UNION. I am not sure I like workeing for a UNION, but they will pay the bill and it is the manageing partner’s new cleint.

      He told me I would be doing alot of work with this new cleint, and to make sure to dress niceley. So Mabye I will have to get some new dresses that the manageing partner will help me pay for? Should I ask him?

      • Always a NYer :

        Asking the MANAGEING PARTNER to buy you’re DRESSSE? That sounds like something you’d ASKE a LOVR.

    • Banded dresses probably aren’t the best for hiding tummies. The black skirt with a dressy top would be fine – if you wear a black top as well (sequins maybe?) it will look very dress-like anyway. Or if you want to continue dress shopping, what about something with a tie/decoration at the natural waist that flares into an A-line to draw attention away from the lower part of your stomach?

    • Diana Barry :

      How about one of those loose-fitting sequined tops I have been seeing lately?


      • Diana Barry :

        If you don’t like that color, I am sure there are black ones available elsewhere. :)

      • The Limited has this very cute sequined top for about $50:

        It comes in teal, purple and blue. I’m thinking about getting it for my sister.

        • MeliaraofTlanth :

          Be aware that top is sheer and will need a camisole under it. It’s also kind of uncomfortable. I tried it on in my hunt for a sparkly top for New Year’s and passed.

          • Good to know. Since I posted this, my sister asked if I could babysit her kids both Friday and Saturday nights. I think maybe that will be my third gift to her, instead of this top.

    • (a) I think you could totally get away with a festive top (something sparkly would be great).

      (b) I own this dress http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/adrianna-papell-jersey-taffeta-sheath-dress/3188844?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=2480 by the same designer from nordstrom’s as the dress you bought and its really flattering and forgiving in the tummy area (I also have a bit of pooch.

      • I have a dress with a similar “artichoke” skirt and yes, it is amazingly forgiving. Don’t remember the designer, bought at Loehmanns for peanuts.

        • Artichoke is a nicer description than how I think of it….fish tail. :-P

    • I say yes, black skirt + dressy top is fine. It is an office party (more or less — you didn’t say how festive it is).

      BTW I am loving the Talbots beaded flapper sheath for “festive but no Spanx needed” parties:

      There is also a silver sequin sheath at Talbots, but it looks a little shapeless (no waist) and its not on sale. Here’s hoping you feel better!

    • If you’re looking for a dress, you might look at donnaricco.com. She carries plus and regular sizes, and I find her cuts to be very forgiving. You could also look at dresses by Suzi Chin — she makes a great jersey faux wrap dress that I love, but also does a few dresses with high waists and full skirts that would hide a stomach. I saw some dresses on Macys.com that might work, like the Suzi Chin Silk Chiffon Empire Waist dress (not linking to avoid moderation.) Good luck and I hope your ribs heal fast!

    • Thank you all for the great ideas! It looks like a second shopping trip is going to be in order.

  14. If the anonymous mom from the weekend thread is reading …

    HUGE hugs to you. I understand where you’re coming from; having a baby and working a demanding job is one of the hardest, most humbling things I’ve done. So, first, give yourself a ton of credit for making this far. Then, cut yourself some slack and PLEASE keep looking for ways to simplify your schedule (easier said than done, especially while you’re sleep deprived!). It sounds like you’ve made progress already, which is awesome. Taking care of yourself and your sanity is absolutely necessary and not a luxury. Take it from someone who didn’t take that advice and ended up with a bad case of depression & anxiety. :( Also, be aware that PPD doesn’t always look like the textbook symptoms that the doc screens you for … not saying you have it, but it’s something to be aware of.

    I give my fellow Corporettes most of the credit for encouraging me to get the help I needed. I just wish I’d done it a year earlier because I the combination of being a working mom and having undiagnosed PPD made early motherhood way harder than it is already.

  15. Dating Dilemma :

    I could really use the hive’s advice. My family and friends keep encouraging me to try online dating and I keep resisting. At 24, I’ve never been on a date, let alone got to first base. Between school, extracurricular activities, and work my dating life was never a priority. I have a great group of friends but with everyone coupled up, they keep looking at me for when I’ll join them.

    It feels like I’m very behind the curve and while I would like to meet someone, I don’t like the idea of going on dates just to go on dates. Also, the thought of seeing someone who may or may not be sleeping with someone else kind of skeeves me out.

    I realize that it takes more than a few dates before I’ll decide if I want to pursue a relationship with someone but I can’t wrap my head around the idea of this “revolving door of dates” for me or the guy.

    As for the type of person I am, you’d never know my lack of experience because I’m very outgoing and bubbly, just a bit picky when it comes to my personal life. I wouldn’t say I’m a prude but I don’t want to sleep with a guy until it feels right, and that may be a while.

    I guess what I’m looking for is advice on how to navigate this online dating experience while keeping my sanity. Also, when do you start discussing your views on relationships and when sex will be on the table? I’m very big on monogamy and being labeled a “clinger” is my biggest fear. I usually play it cool, too cool it seems as I’ve never gone on a date. TIA.

    • Anne Shirley :

      Just try it for a month! It seems like you’re very set against dating, but I kinda love first dates. They are line job interviews minus stress plus wine, and the bad ones make for good stories. I was in your shoes 5 years ago, and since then have been happily and not so happily coupled and single. I never really had “the talk” with anyone about my lack of experience- frankly i think it was fairly obvious, and guys were either okay with it or not. And they aren’t all running around dating and sleeping with 5 women at a time either

      • job interviews minus stress plus wine. excellent analogy.

        OP, don’t take dating too seriously, and you’ll be fine. consider it a series of conversations with new people who may or may not be interesting, but at least you have the wine and the atmosphere to keep you company. my luck with dating improved significantly once i stopped seeing it as a reflection on my self-worth, or something. sometimes it really is just a drink.

    • I am old and have been in a relationship for almost as long as you have been alive, so take this with a grain of salt.

      I can understand, after a few years of date after date and no relationship, being tired of the “dating to date” scene. But, you are young and have never dated before? I am not sure how you expect to find someone without going out on a number of dates. It’s almost like expecting to find the perfect suit without trying on a number of suits – it can happen, but it’s not very likely. Try to think of it more as getting to know a person, rather than a “date,” maybe. It’s funny because when I was a kid, I remember watching “The Patty Duke Show” and envying her because she could go to the movies with one guy on friday, then to the dance with another guy the next weekend. No big deal. It just seemed like a lot more fun than expecting to be more or less monogamous after just a couple of dates. Of course, Patty probably did not have to deal with sex. Again, I am old and times have changed, but I never felt like I had to have sex with a guy until I wanted to (wish I could boldfont that I). That may have been after 3 or 4 dates, it may have been after 3 or 4 months. It was up to me. If I wanted to go to a movie or out to dinner with a guy (although we were all poor students so mostly would just pay our own way) I did and never thought about whether this meant I “owed” him sex. No one is owed sex, no matter how much they spend on dinner, how elaborate the date, or how hot the making out.

      Sorry, I got stuck on my soapbox. Anyway, I think if you think of dating as a fun way to meet new people and maybe do new things, you might find it enjoyable!

      • There’s a regular poster (I forget who) who’s mentioned several times that she just arranges a lot of “coffee dates” with guys from online dating – that way, there’s no real pressure, the date is quick and easy, and she doesn’t have to feel bad if they don’t go well, since there’s another one right around the corner.

        Like Polly, I don’t really have much personal experience here (I married young, so all my dating was in high school and college), but this sounds like a really good idea for you. If you meet for coffee mid-afternoon, I don’t think that there’s going to be much pressure/expectation of any real physical issues, either – if you hit it off there, then you can arrange a more formal date later.

        • SF Bay Associate :

          That would be me. Who cares if Messers. Monday and Tuesday are duds? Or that I liked Mr. Wednesday but he didn’t like me? There’s still Messers. Thursday, Friday, and Sunday, and all the guys next week. Always coffee or happy-hour timing drinks (not late night drinks) on the first date; never a meal. We can always go out for a meal on date number two if we are both inclined to do so. A high volume made each little dud not be a big deal. It was also incredibly educational for me – really helped me hone in on things that would bother me, and things that I thought that would bother me that turned out not to matter at all. After that much experience “interviewing” dates, I got really good at reading people.

    • MissJackson :

      I was kind of like you once upon a time. Mid-twenties, and almost no experience dating, etc.

      You need to change your mindset about dating. Dating (and especially online dating) is a great way to figure out what it is that you really want in a mate. As a female, if you are in a major metropolitian area (and maybe even if you aren’t!) you will get about a bazillion responses immediately. You then get to sort through those guys — which ones appeal? You correspond with them, and ultimately you get to pick who you’d like to actually meet. The whole experience is very empowering.

      FWIW, my lack of dating experience was a total non-issue. Go for it!

      I did not meet my now-husband online, but I do think that the whole online dating experience was helpful for me. I don’t know that I would have been ready to meet “the one” without that experience.

    • Don’t think about it as a date. Think of it as though you are interviewing someone for a job. It may sound strange, but when I did that, it really helped since it let me treat the whole process a little more objectively. Rather than going into a date thinking, “OMG, is my lipstick on straight, this could be the guy I marry”, I went in thinking, “Does this person fit entry-level criteria for the job and is he worth a second interview?” It took the focus away from me and put it on the guy, and made everything a lot less daunting.

      • Exactly. And you don’t even have to think about sleeping with him until you have decided that he meets not just your entry-level criteria, but your criteria for at least a few steps after that.

        I remember going on dates when I was in my 20s, and guys would ask questions like “So, how do you feel about sex,” which was probably a way to try to figure out how soon they might get some from me. I don’t even want to think about the answers I gave back then – they were probably all over the map and somewhat cringe-worthy! But if I were asked that question now, I would say something like “It’s important to me to wait until the time is right.” It’s perfectly acceptable to not sleep with a guy until you’re completely ready – even if that takes many dates and months or even years. Yes, that stance will scare some guys away, but I don’t think those are the guys you want anyway. It’s not your job to do what other people think you should do – it’s your job to do what’s right for you.

        I’m much older than you, and I met the love of my life three years ago when I was 39. I made him wait 14 dates – longer than what some people consider the norm – but it was what was right for me. And it worked out really well. Good luck to you!

    • I agree with the sentiment about that you’ll never meet anyone if you don’t just get out there and try (this is just generally speaking, obviously not saying on-line dating is the only way to go)! I kind of understand when you say that you don’t like the “revolving door of dates”. I’ve done on-line dating myself and the best wayI got over that feeling is knowing that you don’t have to accept an offer of a date from every.single.guy that asks.
      I highly recommend exchanging a few emails and a couple calls before you go on a first date. No need to rush into meeting someone face-to-face. The emails/calls/texts will help you weed out the weirdos.
      Also, there’s no need to bring up your lack of experience in the beginning. Bring it up when it feels natural and appropriate to you (for anyone who watched the premier of The Virgin Diaries on TLC last night – DO NOT do what those girls were doing on a first date!).
      Finally, just remember to have some fun with the process. Trust me – you will get quite a few laughs! I’ve gotten my fair share of strange/weird matches and dates.

    • Have you tried to ask your friends whether they can set you up? At least then you could go on a few group/double dates to see if you click and take it from there. I think that’s a good route to try first if you’ve never been on a real date before.

      I feel you on dating though- I loathe it. I don’t think it’s something everyone enjoys, and I’m independent enough that I’m perfectly happy to be single instead of going out of my way to go on a lot of dates. That said, if you haven’t even gone on a real date, how do you know you won’t like it?

    • I agree the online dating can feel a bit weird – especially if you don’t have the dating experience to fall back on. But – try it, if you want. All you are doing is getting to know people – the online part just ups the numbers. If some sounds halfways interesting (either in profile or through e-communication) then go ahead and meet them in person (in a public place, of course).

      In addition to the online dating – get out and find something you like to do where other people are doing it to. A book club, or a young patrons group for your local orchestra or theater scene, or a volunteer group that you enjoy. If you do something that YOU enjoy and meet other people doing the same thing, you already know you have something in common. Good luck!

    • I just dipped a toe into the wide sea of online dating, so after one date I don’t know that I have anything deeply profound or useful to add…but I will add that the blog entry I’m linking below (which was linked by someone else a week or so ago) really helped me wrap my mind around the whole thing. And it’s funny.


  16. Just wanted to add the website ofakind(dot)com for those looking for unique presents. They showcased in on the Today show this morning and I have already found a few presents that would be perfect for some of my harder to shop for friends. (I’m slightly obsessed with the gem bracelet from McTega on there)

  17. I’ve never owned a silk scarf before, and I’ve been eyeing a simple one for a few weeks now. Will I get more use out of a square one or a long rectangle? Thanks!

    • I like square. But the larger ones that you can make into different shapes, not the 12 x 12 ones.

      I think it depends on how you plan to wear it, but you can always fold a square one into a long rectangle so I think that’s counts in the square’s favor.

    • I vote for square, too.

      And look at Hermes dot com for instructional PDFs on tying scarves. They have great suggestions.

  18. Anon for This :

    Okay, this should be an interesting threadjack. I probably already know the answer to this but I want the hive mind’s opinion to be sure.
    So I am a law student, and just went through the OCI/callback interview process this past semester. At one of the firms (where I did not end up getting an offer), I went out to lunch with two first-year associates, one of them being a very nice and good looking guy, who I believe is single. Is it absolutely off-limits to contact him in some way, now that a few months have passed and I will not be his colleague? If it is not off-limits, what is the best way to contact him? As crazy as it sounds, I think I have a crush on him!

    • Well, if you’re definitely not working at that firm, I think that makes it slightly less scandalous but I’d be cautious if you had any intentions on crossing paths with that firm again.

    • Anonymous :

      I somewhat recently (within the past two years) actually started dating a person who had interviewed me when I was a 2L on campus. I went on a callback with the firm, and that senior associate and I realized we had a lot in common, and he showed me around the city. I ended up going to a different firm in a different city, but we definitely stayed in touch. His firm was actually in the city where my sister lived.

      The way I did that was I found a commonality (a love of the same football team actually, where neither of us lived). I sent him a text message after a game talking about the game and the rest is history.

      The next year when he came to my law school to recruit the class below me, he took me out for drinks after he was done with on campus interviews and the social dinner. We kept in touch intermittently via email and texts and the occasional phone call. He also came into town to give a speech and we went out to dinner.

      We didn’t officially start dating until the summer I took the bar exam. I decided to live with my sister while I studied, and he was around. We ended up dating for over a year after that, long distance, once I started at my new firm. We however ended up breaking up because he went in-house, and I was too young in my career to move, and our relationship wasn’t yet serious enough for me to move to a new city for him when I was doing well in my (still-current) city. We are still very close friends.

      I say all of this to say that 1) you are not alone, and 2) it is actually easier to stay in touch than you would think. It may take time to cross boundaries (in my case, about two years) but it can happen if you are really smitten!

    • MissJackson :

      I see nothing wrong with this whatsoever.

      I assume that his email address is listed on the firm’s website, right? Shoot him a very casual email inviting him to drinks or dinner. I would try to make it clear that you’re no longer trying to get a job at his firm so that he understands that your interest is personal rather than professional (that avoids any weirdness in case he has a girlfriend or whatever).

    • I think I’d be cheeky and send him a christmas card. Thanks for your time, I’d love to stay in contact, here are my details. Why not?

    • Original Anonymous Poster :

      Thanks for the advice. I am just so not used to being forward, so this is very awkward for me! I might try the christmas card, or maybe an e-mail saying I hope to keep in touch.

      • found a peanut :

        it may be awkward but you have almost nothing to lose. You don’t see this guy on a regular basis (or ever, really) so if it backfires you can just be privately embarrassed and move on and forget about it.

        I went on an interview once and clicked so well with my interviewer (who was male) but we were both married so there was no romantic interest. If I had met this guy in almost any other situation, he probably would have become my best friend. But the difficulty in making new male friends in general plus the fact that we met each other in a formal situation would have made any friendship attempts too weird.

      • You’re going to have to be direct here. No Christmas card. He’s going to open it at work and assume you are doing some misguided networking.

  19. A girl from my law school started dating a guy who interviewed her, except she was hired. People thought it was a little scandalous at the time, but now they’re married, so..

  20. TheOtherCoast :

    I have occasionally posted about my adventures in washing my suits in the washing machine. I started out with my older suits, but have recently gotten braver. This weekend I washed a JCrew Super 120s wool suit I bought in April and a Classiques Entier viscose polyester blend suit that I got at the Nordstrom anniversary sale (black/brown with hooks on the jacket and pleating detail on the lapels). I washed them on the handwash cycle in cold water with The Laundress wool and cashmere shampoo and immediately took them out and hung them up. The Classiques suit fared suprisingly well, requiring almost no steaming after drying and the pants kept their crease. The JCrew suit looked a little more rumpled and I steamed it, but had to break out the iron on the pants. It turned out just fine with a little effort. Neither pair of pants was lined. Just a public service announcement for those who are skeeved out by drycleaning chemicals.

    • I actually washed a couple pairs of wool dress pants from BR this weekend using the same method – The Laundress Wool/Cashmere shampoo, on the delicate/knit cycle (since my washing machine isn’t sophisticated enough to have a delicate cycle. I did put each piece in a mesh bag (like for washing delicates) and hung them up to dry immediately, from the waistband. I steamed them while still wet to get the major wrinkles out, and then again once they got a bit drier.

      Mine are lined – I haven’t tried them on again yet, but the length still seamed right, so fingers crossed.

      • Rather, not sophisticated enough to have a handwash cycle.

      • TheOtherCoast :

        I’m definitely getting a bigger bag so I can put my jackets and pants in next time. Also, I forgot to turn the stuff inside out, which is supposed to help avoid wearing the fabric out, since it’s not rubbing right up against the cheese-grater like holes in my washing machine basket (I have a metal/enamel basket in mine).

    • North Shore :

      I shrunk one of my favorite cashmere sweaters washing it in the Laundress cashmere shampoo. Now my tween daughter has a nice cashmere sweater. I wonder if I did something wrong? I doubt I’ll trust hand washing for cashmere again.

      • TheOtherCoast :

        Hmm– I have washed cashmere a lot using that shampoo. Always use cold water, never put it in the dryer. Maybe you accidentally used hot water?

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