This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
I love this duck blue color, but the hobo in general looks great. You can see it on the model in the “vanilla” color — I like the way it can tuck under your arm, or be worn in a modern crossbody way. As always, the Strathberry details like the horizontal bar really elevate it.
The bag is $645, available in 4 colors, at Nordstrom and Strathberry.
Looking for something similar but more affordable? Quince, Tory Burch, and Kate Spade all have similar colorways.
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
eh230
Low stakes question. Do you think this dress is too casual for an early evening wedding at a nice hotel in Pittsburgh in September? It just arrived and fits perfectly. The bride to be told me over the weekend that some male guests were wearing tuxes and long dresses would be ok. I am petite and mostly dislike long dresses and so was dismayed by that news.
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/metallic-jacquard-sleeveless-fit-flare-dress/7654366?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FAll%20Results&color=672
Anon
No, I think the fabric makes it fancy enough.
Anonymous
+1
Senior Attorney
Yup.
Anon
I think that’s absolutely perfect for “black tie optional” ie some men in tuxes and some in dark suits. The fabric elevates it to straddling the line between cocktail and black tie.
Former Junior Associate
I think it’s cute and will be fine, particularly if it’s really some (not most) guests in tuxes/long dresses.
anon
Pretty dress! The fabric makes it look and feel fancy, IMO.
And I am the total opposite. I rock a long dress but would look absolutely ridiculous in this, even though I loooove the style.
smurf
what’s the color like in person?
blush is very on trend for wedding gowns, I personally wouldn’t wear a white background dress with blush print to a wedding. (i’m sure it depends on your circle)
Winter
That was my first thought, too. These would not be my first choice colors as a wedding guest.
anon
Eh, I think the dress is fine for a wedding. With the color, length, and cut, it doesn’t look anything like a wedding dress. And you’re not in the wedding party, so you won’t be in many side-by-side pictures with the bride. If you’re friends with the bride, you can ask whether she’s wearing a traditional white gown and/or ask her if she thinks the dress is OK. (When I got married, a good friend cleared her dress–floral print on a white background–with me, and I didn’t give it a second thought.)
Anon
It’s not remotely a white dress, even if there’s possibly some white in it.
Anon
+1
Anon
Yeah, I wore a similar style dress to a wedding except the flowers were dark purple and blue so more obviously not white and the bride was upset. The dress I wore and this dress don’t look like traditional wedding dresses but I can see how this would photograph as white or off white and apparently some people think you shouldn’t have a white background dress at all.
anon
OK, is there a budget version of this bag? Specifically the color, which is perfection.
Anon
This is gorgeous.
Anon
Kate Spade often has bags in fun colours, check the outlet.
Senior Attorney
I think I’ve seen this color at Coach, too.
Anon
This really does look similar to Kate Spade styling. I did a google image thing and Kate Spade Aegean Teal came up as a pretty close color match.
Purvip
I just got this bag pre loved at poshmark for 300. Don’t knock the resell sites!
Anon
I know that I have markers for CMV in my blood because I cannot donate blood to newborns. So at some point in time, I had it and was likely asymptomatic. Is CMV like chicken pox, where once you have it, you can’t get it twice? [There is something on our NPR station right now about it now and google isn’t helping me.]
Anon
Ok, I just googled it and found the answer: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cmv/symptoms-causes/syc-20355358
“CMV is related to the viruses that cause chickenpox, herpes simplex and mononucleosis. CMV may cycle through periods when it lies dormant and then reactivates. If you’re healthy, CMV mainly stays dormant.”
Anon
Are all herpes viruses forever? I have HSV I (the cold sore one) and it reactivates all the time. My BIL was very close to being blinded by a shingles outbreak.
Anon
Remember to get Valtrex when it reactivates. It’s thought to reduce dementia risk!
Anon
I have acyclovir. Is that as effective as Valtrex at reducing dementia risk?
Anon
Yes, I think Acyclovir is as effective as Valtrex.
I used to get cold sores all the time and wish I knew this then!
Anon
I’m not 100% convinced that acyclovir shortens the duration for me, but I use over the counter abreva ointment and that really seems to help.
Anon
I had acyclovir as a kid for chicken pox and had the world’s mildest case – like three spots that barely itched. It definitely worked for me!
Anon
There are different strains so you can get reinfected with a different strain. I think it’s NBD unless you’re pregnant though.
Anon
Hi! I have a deaf kid because of CMV – I’m thrilled that NPR is doing a story on this, the most common cause of viral birth defects and the most common non-genetic cause of childhood deafness that your OB probably never mentioned.
Once you have it, you can reactivate it, but it’s unlikely – most kids who are effected are from primary infections. I’d still do the best practices (don’t share food or eating utensils with anyone, especially young kids), but I wouldn’t worry too much about it!
Anon
My daughter just tested positive for CMV in pregnancy (she lives in a country where this testing is routine). Based on previous pregnancies/testing, she acquired an initial infection recently. Now she has to wait until 21 week amnio to find out if the baby is infected. Did you have any knowledge of your child’s diagnosis before birth?
One of her friends has the same diagnosis, but is further along in pregnancy and amnio shows her fetus is not infected.
Anon
That’s very stressful for your daughter. The good news for her is that 80% of infected fetuses (and not every fetus is infected enough to test positive) are asymptomatic, 10% only have hearing loss, and 10% are sadly severely affected (deafness, mobility restrictions, and limitations on quality of life.
I had no knowledge until 12 weeks after birth, and I had weekly ultrasounds for a complicated identical twin pregnancy. Only one of my daughters has hearing loss – the other (Identical twin! Same placenta!) has no symptoms (they are now almost 4). If the baby tests positive at birth they can do a course of an antiviral which could prevent hearing loss, but they usually don’t give it to asymptomatic babies because it involves weekly blood draws. My deaf daughter is doing great, goes to a mainstream daycare, wears a cochlear implant and a hearing aid, and has never had a language delay. The Facebook group CMV Mommies is a great resource. Good luck.
Anon
I’m so glad to hear your daughter is doing great! Based on my daughter’s numbers, there’s a reasonable chance she was infected a few months prior to getting pregnant, which should be in her favor. The high risk doctor she saw (again, outside the US) doesn’t seem too worried, so everyone is trying to stay reasonably calm.
Anon
Thanks for this info. Im pregnant now and it’s been on my radar, but I feel it’s a hopeless cause to prevent sharing saliva with my toddler. He’s just so cuddly and likes giving kisses and doesn’t keep germs to himself. I’m pretty adamant about not sharing my water cups but he is sneaky and still succeeds sometimes (so likely had also done it without my knowledge. It almost feels like best practice is impossible. Maybe testing so it can be treated at birth is a better approach?
Anon
If it can be treated if detected at birth, I’m confused as to why they don’t test for it. They test for so many other things. Is the test very involved?
Cmv anon
So, treatment at birth isn’t as good as not getting CMV in the first place. It’s a last-ditch effort with AIDS-level antivirals to stop your kid from going completely deaf, or getting more brain damage, or epilepsy. So, keep doing your best to avoid it!
The test is easy, and some states and Canadian provinces are trying out universal testing. There’s some disagreement if it’s helpful (since 80% of cases are asymptomatic), but these large-scale trials should be helpful to get a better understanding. It’s been denied to be placed on the universal screening panel at the national level, but many states have mandated automatic cmv testing if your newborn failed their hearing test (which is excellent policy – if you know someone who has a baby who has failed their newborn hearing test make sure they get a test!!)
Nesprin
Yes- CMV is a one and done that’s asymptomatic in kids but can make older folks pretty sick more like Epstein Barr. Chicken pox can re-emerge as shingles.
Right Kelly
I need to scream into the void for a minute since I can’t talk to anyone about this in real life. Couple of months back, my VP sent a “notice of intent (to terminate)” to my boss. I knew things weren’t good between them, but I didn’t think it was that bad. Being employed by the state of California, my boss used their Skelly rights. The Skelly officer recommended a demotion instead. I’m the only person in my division with an open managerial position. It was offered to my boss as a demotion and now I’m waiting to find out what their response will be.
How messed up is that? I resent my boss for putting themselves in that situation. I resent my VP for either failing to sort the issue or not having an ironclad path to dismissal. I don’t want to inherit a “problem employee” when I had great candidates in the pipeline. I’m in a niche department within my division and my boss doesn’t even have the expertise to work there. I don’t want my boss to now report to me. I just hope they decline and resign gracefully. I’m going to stay in denial of any alternative outcome until then…
Anon
As I understand the process you are describing (I also work in CA government), the person can be offered a job for which their experience qualifies them against the job description. Can you demonstrate credibly that her expertise does not meet the minimum requirements in the job description?
Anonymous
oof that really stinks — i hope the boss doesn’t end up taking that spot, and the termination/shuffle works to your advantage…
Anonymous
Did your boss actually do anything wrong or does the VP just hate them? I’m a government employee and I’ve seen a few power tripping VPs who came from industry and (wrongly) assume you can just fire someone because you don’t like them, when in reality you need an actual performance based reason.
anon
I am struggling to manage an employee that I hired about eight months ago. Based on his experience, I was expecting a much more polished, experienced person than what I have. This is showing up in a couple of ways. One is his email communication; it is often just a bit too informal, especially for some of the higher-ups he serves. And, his writing is just plain not very good. He picks the weirdest stuff to focus on; little niche things that are somewhat interesting but definitely not the point. I’ve been trying to coach him on messaging, seeing the bigger picture, etc. I have shown him line-by-line edits to help him understand what I’m looking for. I explain my edits and why I’ve made them. And yet his work hasn’t improved much, which makes me wonder if he can get better.
I’ve been trying to find projects that are more aligned with his strengths, but I am having a hard time trusting him. Especially with the formality piece. One small example: you can be friendly and seem like a real person without using exclamation points every third sentence. And please don’t ask for more replies from very busy people than are strictly necessary.
It’s one of those situations where it’s hard to point to anything super egregious, but things are just a bit off. Or offputting. I don’t think it’s just me being picky. Other team members have diplomatically shared that they have noticed a few weird communication quirks and concerns about him missing important details.
Also, he seems to cower whenever even mild correction is given. He’s doing one part of the job at a meeting expectations level (he has a unique skill set), and the other part is just not great. I really need him to do both proficiently and without as much hand-holding as I’ve been doing.
I am beginning to seriously doubt he has what it takes to do this job. I did talk to a trusted colleague about the issue and she thought that maybe I just hadn’t figured out his learning style yet. Which is possible, I guess. Any thoughts on what else I should try to coach this individual?
Anon
Be explicit about what you want him to change. If he’s experienced, some of this might be based on his previous experience. I’ve certainly worked with some people where I felt like I had to frequently use exclamation points and constantly reply to things that seemed unnecessary to reply to, just because that was clearly the norm for their organization or for that particular person and they had power over me. Don’t underestimate the effect of a dictatorial micromanager teaching an early career employee bad habits. But if he can’t respond to your suggestions to change, then that’s more of a problem.
Anon
“Don’t underestimate the effect of a dictatorial micromanager teaching an early career employee bad habits.”
I am seven years away from a year spent under a horrific micromanager, and I am still unlearning bad habits. He actively inculcated bad habits (such as not reaching out to internal customers to have status discussions).
Anon
Wow! Thanks for sharing!
joan wilder
A few thoughts. 8 months is not long. I always feel like jobs are like new relationships–it is at least 6 months to get into sync. Second, it sounds like you are bothered in part that he is doing things differently than you would. It is your job as a manager to let that go unless it has actual consequences for the work, other than it just bothering you. I think your colleague is right–if you can back off the small stuff, and focus on the things that make a difference to your work goals, I think you’ll have more luck. Also, some of the most senior people in my org (which you will have heard of) use lots of exclamation points and it doesn’t impact the work.
Anonymous
+1, focus on the results and let the rest go
Anon
i don’t know the best way to figure out his learning style without asking him directly, but sometimes people just don’t have what it takes. DH’s company has an employee on a PIP who is likely to be terminated because he just doesn’t seem to have the ability to pick things up fast enough/execute his responsibilities. in your case it sounds like this person has some subject matter expertise but it lacking the “soft” skills (for lack of a better term) but is also only meeting expectations in the subject matter level.
Anon
It sounds like he hasn’t adapted to your office culture and picked up on its norms for whatever reason. For what it’s worth, what he’s doing may have been what was wanted at a previous position! Does he have a lot of models of what you want to see?
My observation has been that when people are anxious about how they are doing, they have more trouble leaving their comfort zone (what worked for them previously), and they actually need to calm down and feel welcomed to succeed at acclimatizing. The cowering and everyone thinking he’s weird make me wonder if there’s a dynamic obstructing this currently.
Missing important details is actually a problem; I wonder if it is inattention or another case of not knowing what’s more and less important.
anon
I’m not quite sure what’s going on. I’ve had him work with quite a few people at this point, and maybe this is part of the learning curve. Confidence could be part of the issue for the soft skills, although I don’t think that’s the case for the core skills. It’s not the first time I’ve hired someone for this position, though, and I haven’t had anyone else struggle to this degree. So I’m trying to figure out where the problem is occurring.
Anonymous
+1 to the point about being anxious
Anonymous
My kiddo just got braces and an expander today — and the expander in particular is driving him nuts, especially since none of his friends have one. Any tips or tricks from lived experience?
Anon
You get used to it. You’re not even 24 hours in! A week from now he won’t even notice it, though he may have a slight lisp for a while. As a parent I’d just not focus on it too much, treat him to ice cream or frozen yogurt occasionally when his teeth feel sore. My mom did that for me, and she wasn’t really that kind of mom generally, so I really remember it from my own sore teeth days!
Anon
Here’s my tip as a woman in my sixth decade of life doing Invisalign: do what your orthodontist says during this process, and when the process is over and the doctor gives you a retainer and says to wear it every night, wear it every night.
Anon
I wore my retainer every night and my teeth have still shifted an incredible amount.
Anon
This makes me feel so much less responsible for having to be in Invisalign now. Thank you.
Anonymous
My daughter did two rounds with the expander and unfortunately you just have to gut it out. Be sure not to give him any long foods like noodles that can get wound around the expander and gag him, which is absolutely terrifying for both kid and parent.
anon
New core fear unlocked!
Anon
I had an expander for a year. I remember taking a lot of Tylenol. Almost daily. It’s been decades and I still remember that pain.
But on the flip side, the years of orthodontia did pay off. Best of luck!
Anon
I had an expander for many, many years. It does hurt at first, but then you just get used to it. After I got it off, I remember missing it.
Anon
It’s fun having something in your mouth you can flick your tongue at. I miss mine like a phantom limb.
Anon
I had one on top and on the bottom for about a year. I don’t even remember it hurting at all, I just got used to it within a few days. Braces were definitely more painful, I do remember being a little sore when I got those tightened. But I agree with everyone else, get a permanent retainer if you can, and wear any other one they give you if you can’t!
Anonymous
I had an expander. It dug into my tongue and made a groove imprint. The imprint resolved after the expander was removed, but it was painful while it lasted.
The end result is worth it. My teeth look great, and it has been over 20 years. I wear my retainer most nights.
jane
I am considering a job offer which would raise our HHI to 350k, a significant rise from current but we will need to move from our cute MCOL to NYC! Well at least my office will be in NYC and we’d probably sell our current 4bhk SF home and move to i don’t know… where to families in this income bracket who need to commute to NYC daily live, these days? Brooklyn seems impossible to afford. We’d like to buy instead of rent. Am i being stupid? Advice pleasssse!
Anonymous
how much do you have for a downpayment and how many bedrooms do you need? how long do you think you’ll be in nyc?
if less than 5 years, just rent… when we were around 350k a $3600 mortgage ($240k down on a $695k apartment, 4% mortgage) was ok but felt a bit tight, and you’re not going to find anything good for $700k these days. if you only need a 1 bedroom then maybe you will?
go to streeteasy and play with the numbers…
anon
That’s one data point, but I float a $3,600/month PMI on a HHI of $200k and we’re doing just fine. OP, I suggest you run your own numbers to come up with a monthly housing cost, then let that drive your search.
anon
$350 is not a lot of money in NYC. I don’t know where you are living now but that is, depending on your expectations and how many kids you have, whether you have family money or savings, not likely to be able to afford to buy.
Anon
350k household income in NYC is going to feel very tight. Rent prices are insane right now, as is real estate in general. If you are living comfortably right now and own a house you like, I would hold off and find a job in your area that would give you a similar increase in pay.
Anonymous
This is insane
Anon
WHAT
I now make more, but I was comfortable on about 90k as a single parent a few years ago. I could not max out retirement and college savings accounts and take international vacations, but I definitely was not worried about money back then.
OP– we need more info to recommend areas, but you should definitely plan to rent for a year and get to know the area before buying. Also, Brooklyn would be the 4th largest city in the US if it wasn’t part of NYC. It is FAR from impossible to afford on 350k. In fact, I only know one family here in Brooklyn who makes around that much, and yet here we all are.
Anon
LOL this is ridiculous. Median household income in NYC is $76k.
Anon
The question isn’t can she survive on $350k, the question is she can buy the kind of house she wants. She’s obviously not going to be in poverty but she may not like how much her lifestyle takes a hit.
Turtlemania
Counterpoint: I live in Brooklyn and our HHI is just under 200k. We’re not balling and have no way to ever purchase property, but we’re doing just fine (two adults, two kids, one cat).
Anon
I’m currently in LCOL Midwest on a HHI of $200k and feel wealthy, but I think we’d need to approximately triple our household income to live a similar lifestyle in SF of NYC. Maybe even more. No way I would move to NYC for $350k. You build net worth faster if you can afford to buy in these very expensive areas, because the house will appreciate so much in your lifetime, but if you have all your money tied up in your house it doesn’t leave a lot leftover for vacations, entertainment, kids’ activities (if applicable), and that’s not the life I want.
Anon
+1. Unless you are at least doubling your income, it’s not going to be a lifestyle improvement. It may still be worth it if it’s a necessary step for advance, but I would think long and hard about whether it’s worth it.
Anon
Don’t be ridiculous. $350k is the one percent. You can buy a place in Brooklyn.
Anon
Let’s distinguish between income (which might not last) and assets (which need time to accumulate).
Anon
It’s true that you can live on 350k in NYC. It’s also true that you’d probably have a much nicer lifestyle on half that salary in a MCOL city. It’s reasonable for OP to consider if this will be a downgrade or upgrade to her currently lifestyle.
towelie
yea, with current interest rates you’d be looking at a pretty rough neighborhood in Brooklyn on $350k (unless you have a huge down payment)
Anon
Flip side: regardless of where you live, you’re probably going to want to max out your retirement. For her and her husband, that’s a combined $46k off the top. That turns $170k in a MCOL city to $134k, versus just over $300k in NYC.
Car payments are the same everywhere (I guess she might also have a subway pass in NYC, but bear with me). Assuming two mid-range cars, $400 per month for a 5 year loan each, that’s about $10k per year. Much more doable on the $304k than the $134k.
Anon
It really depends on your lifestyle, I think. I’m the person who said I have $200k in the Midwest and would not move to NYC for $350k. It’s hard for me to imagine us being more comfortable in NYC on double our current income. My husband and I have always bought old cars in cash and driven them for a long time, so we don’t have a car payment and a subway pass probably costs more than we spend on gas in a month especially now that we primarily WFH. Maxing retirement is harder to do on a lower salary, but you also pay more in taxes on a higher salary. A lot of entertainment and kid-related costs are so much lower here. Full time summer camp for our kids is $120/week. I looked at camp in NYC because we have family there and were thinking of working remotely from there with kids in camp, and I was seeing $800+ for camp that are 9-3 and then you have to pay for aftercare separately. There are huge differences in restaurant and theater prices. So I feel like there are a lot of smaller costs that would really add up.
Also it just feels to me like there is so much freedom in having a paid off house or a small mortgage and it’s hard for me to imagine moving somewhere where half my salary would have to go to housing.
Anon
You are not going to find something that is a reasonable commute to the manhattan and big enough for a family for under a million in Brooklyn. Likely much higher. Unless you have significant savings, I would not be comfortable with that size of mortgage on a $350k HHI. And im someone who tends to be ok spending more on housing. My housing costs are over 40% of my take home pay.
Anonymous
$350k is a hefty HHI, but it is not even close to the 1%. Yes, the wealth gap is outrageous these days.
Anon
Yeah the 1% is more like $700k.
Anonymous
doesn’t 1% change based on location though? last time i looked we were the 1% at $350k but in Ohio. NYC and $700K *might* be right but I’d guess it would be higher in the city than the entire state.
Anon
$700k is the national 1%. It’s presumably higher in NY, lower in Ohio.
towelie
$350k is not top 1% in any state. state of NY was $777k last year.
Anon
I live in one of the poorest states in the country and you need $472k to be top 1% here.
Anon
I got curious and looked this up. Towelie is right. The state with the lowest 1% cutoff is West Virginia and you need $367k there. Ohio is $500k and NY (the state) is $777k. NYC is probably quite a bit higher than the state as a whole, since wealth is concentrated in the NYC area.
Anon
People do it all the time but it depends on their lifestyle. My partner and I make about $200K combined, no kids and I don’t think we could comfortably live in NYC. I live right outside the city and we still pay $3,500 a month in rent. If we wanted to never go out to dinner, or travel internationally we could swing it but that’s not the lifestyle I want.
Anon
Figure out a comfortable rent payment and work backwards from there. You’ll be making a ton of money, even for NYC, so you have options.
anon
this is what the beauty of jersey is for!
Do you have to be in NYC office everyday? How far/long of a commute fits into your life?
Look at Montclair, Maplewood, South Orange, maybe Palisades Park, Ridgefield Park, etc.
Anonymous
You will have to go pretty far out from the city to find something nice on 350k salary. Property taxes in Montclair for a small house are +20k/yr.
Anonymous
Our HHI is $350 and our property taxes are $20k. Different HCOL but it’s fine. We also have 3 kids and all the costs that go with them.
Anonymous
Yes, you are being stupid. I’m sorry, but you CAN live in Brooklyn on 350K. You just can’t have a 4,000 sq ft single family home in the nicest possible neighborhood. I lived in Brooklyn on 35K. My husband and son and I feel are very comfortable there on 200K now. It depends what you want, but literally millions of people live in Brooklyn on a small fraction of 350K, and your wording is out of touch with reality.
Anon
She wants to buy though.
No Face
When did you buy your place and for how much? What neighborhood? I think that would be helpful for OP.
Anon
+1. Let’s hear it!
Anon
Do you own a home? I think the issue is that homeownership may be out of reach.
Anonymous
I call BS on living in Brooklyn on $35K at any time in the past couple of decades. I was barely able to scrape by way out west of Boston on slightly more than that when I graduated from college 25 years ago, and the Boston area was less expensive than NYC. At that time you could “live” in Brooklyn, if you called it living, on that salary only if you were willing to share a tiny, decrepit apartment in a sketchy area with several other people and eat ramen every day and haul your laundry to the laundromat and never leave the city or do anything else that cost money. I turned down a job in Manhattan for $37K at that time because it just wasn’t a lifestyle with any type of future.
Anon
For anyone saying a house or owning is affordable, what is your mortgage rate? 3%? A lot that used to be affordable is t now, if you can even find something to buy. The inventory for sale really isn’t there because so many people are just sitting on 3% mortgages.
Anon
Jersey, they live in Jersey and have a long train commute. But you get used to it. Parts of New Jersey are really, really nice.
Anonymous
Absolutely right. Central NJ.
Anon
This depends on your needs. I’m assuming you have kids and $350K with kids in the NYC can be tough assuming you have to commute several days a week. I think you need to consider where your office will be located. Is your office in Manhattan or BK? If commuting from the suburbs, how will you get to transportation? How old are your kids? What type of school do they need? I’d suggest renting for a year and then buying but rent in NYC is $$$$. Also, NYC is not what it used to be IMO. It’s gotten dirtier and more expensive. Less bang for your buck in an already HCOL area. I’d rent a two bedroom in the city and look to move to the suburbs. Yes, please live in the city on less than $350K all the time but it is not a lifestyle I would want. Also, see if you can negotiate only 1-2 days in the city. The commute can be long and draining.
Anon
Do you have young children? Daycare is $3500/month in NYC per kid. Slightly less in Hoboken or Brooklyn/Queens. Consider all your costs. You could also consider moving or Northern New Jersey, Westchester or LI which all have great commuter trains and school districts. Hoboken is a great option is you want the city feel at a better price point.
Anon
And look at summer camp and aftercare prices for older kids! I posted above but I looked at camp in NYC (Manhattan) because we have family there, and the prices were staggering to me. 7-8x what I pay in a small Midwest city; 2-3x what I’ve paid in Chicago and fancy resort areas.
Anon
We moved from a LCOL city when we made about 500k. Now make around 1M living in Fairfield County. I don’t think we could afford to live here (and much less NYC) on 500k, let alone 350k with kids. Our lifestyle is nice but not great (although we do prioritize saving). I would not recommend moving to NYC on 350k..
Anonymous
The new Bridgerton trailer just dropped! Is anyone else fascinated to see how they handle the love scenes? (Nicola C is so amazingly gorgeous, and I love that she’s the heroine…)
Anon
No because I thought they were so disappointing in the first season. The Duke literally lasted 10 seconds each time.
Anonymous
I mean, if you want prolonged banging I think the movie 365 Days is what you want (on Netflix)…
Anon
Why are the two options 10 seconds or violence against women?
Anon
It happens to all men.
Anonymous
Am I the only one who finds onscreen coitus boring? I kind of prefer leaning (ie While you were Sleeping). (Even just watching booktok door frame videos!)
Anan
LEANING!!!!!
That is my all time favorite rom com
Anon
How does anyone grow tulips?? They’re my favorite flower but all the ones I plant get eaten by rabbits. I don’t have this issue with daffodils and other low-lying flowers. And yet, I see my neighbors with beautiful arrays of tulips, so I know it’s possible! Is there something you spray? It seems like they would just hop over or squeeze through a fence, and my neighbors don’t seem to have any kind of physical barrier.
Anon
A little uncouth for a front yard, but if you have any boys/men in your life, have them pee around the edges of the garden.
Alternately, you can buy predator urine, which also works.
Anon
My husband did (at night since it is our front yard) and it didn’t work!
Anon
Don’t know if it’s true but the country wisdom is that it needs to be a male person’s first pee of the day.
Anon
Hahaha ok we will try that!
Anonymous
I planted tulips in containers last year and kept them in my garage all winter and it’s worked out beautifully – nothing got eaten, we could move them in and out depending on temperature. I tried to succession plant a bunch from September-October and they all came up at the same time, though, so… (i think next year i need to pay more attention to when each variety is supposed to come up).
Anon
I gave a friend a potted blooming hyacinth when I visited her house last spring. She threw it into her garage when the blooms died and the leaves wilted, thinking she’d plant the bulb this fall. She went into her garage and found it blooming again this spring. Kind of amazing given it had no water all this time!
Anonymous
Our family used to plant them so deep in the fall, our yard would be the last one blooming in the spring but they did bloom!
Anonymous
I had voles eat almost every single one of my fancy rembrandt tulip bulbs one year, at which point I declared war, dug out the entire bed, put a layer of hardware cloth on the bottom, and cover the top with another layer of hardware cloth from planting until about mid-late February. so effectively, I cage my bulbs. It’s extreme, but it works.
Anonymous
You can buy sharp gravel called something like “vole block” to mix into the dirt around the bulbs to deter voles. Sprinkling blood meal on the soil and watering it in also helps.
Anon
They’re eating the leaves/stems, not the bulbs. So the plants sprout just fine, but then they don’t bloom because they all got eaten :(
Anon
Dig a wide area and drop the bulbs in pockets. Cover the pockets w/ soil. Sprinkle blood meal. Place squares of chicken wire across the wider area. Cover the remaining area (and the chicken wire) with the rest of the dirt. Tou may want to tie colored string on the chicken wire to help find it again in the spring. Gingerly remove the chicken wire when the tulip plants start breaking through. Enjoy gorgeous tulips. Save the chicken wire for next fall. it’s a lot of work but so worth it at the end of a long winter.
Anon.
We have a lot of bunnies in our neighborhood. What works for us is to put squares of chicken wire on top of where the bulbs are planted. We use the larger hole chicken wire and sort of build a very low “dome” over the area, fixing the edges of the wire to the ground with garden staples. When the tulips grow, they grow through the wire cage, and the wire is then covered by foliage and almost invisible. Bunnies seem to not like to step on these wires, so they leave the tulips alone. Sometimes a bunny will lean over the low stone wall bordering the flower bed and get a tulip or two at the edge of the wire-covered area, but the tufts of flowers stay mostly intact.
I think this also prevents squirrels or other rodents to dig out the bulbs.
Many neighbors fence intheir tulips with narrow-hole low fences, but I don’t like the look of that.