Suit of the Week: Boden

138 Comments

1. Why so many pink suits and pink blazers on here? They are pretty and maybe you can own one bright pink work item but overall kind of lawyer-barbie vibe.

   1. I like a lawyer-barbie vibe. Hot pink is the navy of India, no?

      1. huh, never considered that, but I am intrigued!

   2. I could imagine wearing the blazer to a work holiday party, but that’s about it.

      I’ve never been a super colorful dresser anyway. I’ve always gravitated toward neutrals and muted colors – I think they look more upscale.

   3. Maybe *you* can own one bright pink work item. I can and do own a whole lot more.

   4. eh, they’re trendy this year, I wouldn’t read more into it than that.

   5. I have owned bright red, pink, yellow suits or separates for years and luckily am in a career where I can wear what I want. Plus the separates are great for when you are being photographed (leisure or business) or you need to stand out in crowd.
      I feel they play well with my pale skintone and brighten me up.

   6. They remind me of one professor I had who dressed sharply in an otherwise masculine vein and loved to wear this color.

   7. Any other Australians here love the pink suit on Robbie Williams at the footy grand final?

      1. Yes!!

   8. My last remaining suit is hot pink and I’m wearing it today. You can pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

      1. great for voting in!!

   9. Pink is super in right now, including for business professionals in many fields.

2. I need advice from those who walk to work/subway, etc. How do you handle the sweat? I have a new walking commute that is 1 mile and I am a sweaty, disgusting mess upon arrival, even this morning in 60 degree weather. I could feel it dripping down my back as I stood waiting for my train. I discovered my underwear was also soaked in sweat when I got to the office. Obviously, I cannot sit with wet underwear all day. Do you change underwear when you get to the office? Do you not have this problem? I’m wondering if this is abnormal and if I should see a doctor, or if this is my new reality.

   1. I struggle with this too because I’m a very sweaty person. I load up on antiperspirant before leaving the house. I also underdress for the weather because I know I’ll warm up once I start walking. I also never wear polyester tops, only materials that breathe. And yes, I have a change of underwear at work. Trimming or removing pubes cuts down on groin sweat.

   2. Do you regularly work out? I have a similar walking commute and I only get sweaty when it’s actually warm, on a brisk fall day like today I can wear a sweater or light coat and arrive completely dry.

   3. What’s your walking pace? If it were me, I’d have to be walking extremely fast/hard to work up that kind of sweat in 60-degree weather.

      1. Same.

         Maybe put a menstrual pad / liner in your UW to deal with the sweat. And slow your roll :)

   4. That’s way more than I sweat walking a mile. I’d start by slowing down!

   5. Wear less or walk slower. I doubt you’re sweating an abnormal amount, it’s just that even 60s is relatively warm for a fast walk if you’re wearing the amount of clothing that you’d wear to comfortably sit in the office all day.

   6. I’d wear different clothes for your commute and bring your work clothes with you.

      1. Yes, this. I bike and it’s a must. I also have wipes and a quick dry towel for when I change. It’s not as good as a shower, but its the best I’ve got.

   7. I could be wrong and am not in medicine, but this does seem somewhat abnormal to me for walking one mile in 60 degree weather unless you’re really hustling or are on medications that cause increased sweating (a ton of meds do).

      I know people who bike in often do change since cycling can be high exertion.

      1. People who bike need to view it not as biking-exercise but biking-transit and not act like they are leading the peloton. There is a pace that makes sense for going into an office vs working out on the way home.

         1. Perhaps that’s do-able for a flat commute, but the hills between my house and work means that it’s a workout, so I bring a change of clothes in my panniers. If I was to travel at a “don’t get sweaty” pace, I might as well walk or wait for the bus.

         2. No

   8. +1 to slowing down. Dress in layers so that you can put layers on once you get to work. I’ve never tried it, but Certain Dri should work on your back if that is where you are sweating the most. I also would bring an extra set of clothes to work just in case. When I walked to the subway, I would wear comfortable shoes so I wasn’t trying to hoof it in heels. I would also underdress for the weather and bring another layer with me for the office (cardigan, sweater blazer, etc.). I would also employ what I liked to call my Southern Belle stroll so as to not work up a sweat. I’d purposefully leave early to account for that extra time.

   9. See a doctor, that seems like excessive sweating.

   10. Slow down . I also would wear my hair up and remove my blazer or cardigan until I got to the office or train. As you get closer to your destination, slow down a bit more (I tend to sweat most with a sudden stop of activity). When I arrive at work, I will often wash my face with cold water and possibly hit arms as well if I’m feeling really sticky. I wait to do my make up until I’m at work. I often change undies or wear a pad, depending on how hot it is. As you get more used to be this active, it will get a bit easier. But some people just sweat more than others.

   11. that is abnormal levels of sweating for 60 degree weather. I would expect damp undergarments walking a mile in mid summer (slowly and taking advantage of the shade wherever possible).

   12. I have a mile walk to work, but used to walk or bike up to 3 miles. I only sweat like that in the hot, humid mid Atlantic summer. Now it’s in the 50s/60s when I commute I don’t sweat at all (but I also don’t yet wear a coat).

       In the summer I swear a lot, I will commute in a plain t and then when I get to work wipe down with a wipe, reapply deodorant and put on my work top.

   13. I’m in Florida, so I just go with it. I’m gonna sweat and as long as I don’t stink, it’s all good. The more you do your commute, the better you’ll get yourself tuned in to what clothes work best or don’t work at all. Fruit of the Loom micro mesh underwear are awesome (not to mention inexpensive and available at any big box store).

   14. I’m the same way (also with a mile commute). Re the comments saying this is abnormal—I’ve discussed with doctors and none have ever been concerned. I’m just a sweaty gal. I also underdress for the weather and have spare undergarments (bras and undies) at work if I need to change. If I’m going in particularly early and am less likely to be seen, I just wear athleisure and change completely when I get to the office.

   15. I find I sweat a lot more if I leave home straight out of the shower vs take a few minutes and lot my pores close (?!). I’ll usually keep the aircon on so I can get out of the shower into a cool room to do my hair and makeup. I live in SIngapore and its hot and sweaty here all year round. So even though I have a 5 min walk, this cooling off routine makes a huge difference.

3. Woohoo, I just got an air fryer as a wedding gift! What are your favorite air fryer recipes? It’s a Cuisinart air fryer/toaster oven combo.

   Also, a mini vent – why can’t there be a wedding with no family drama?? The last few weeks have been awful and really put a damper on our happiness. So a big shout out to those who ruin other people’s big life events with their pettiness and selfishness.

   1. I love the basics like chicken and salmon in the airfryer – I think I got the basic times from Skinnytaste. You can also put them in frozen and just add another 5 minutes in the beginning. You can get air-fryer-sized parchment paper at Amazon.

      Along those lines, I just switched from a Ninja round-style airfryer to a square Cuisinart toaster oven/airfryer combo – any tips on the switch?

   2. No recipes but wanted to wish you all the best with the wedding! I couldn’t remember when your nuptials are, but hope everything goes smoothly! There is always going to be something but try not to let the drama get you down!

   3. Serious advice: tell them to shape up or stay home. I wish half my family had not gone to my wedding – they were jerks to me the entire time. Years later, I am just sad thinking about how much garbage I gritted my teeth through that day.

   4. Brussels sprouts and cauliflower are my favorites in the air fryer. It’s also the BEST way to heat up a sandwich.

   5. This air fryer salmon is so good! https://www.skinnytaste.com/parmesan-salmon/
      Also, any veggie that you would roast is good in the air fryer.

   6. we had 16 people at our wedding. we have enormous families. people who didn’t come included immediate family members…because they are one of more of the following: rude selfish don’t behave etc…..

      there is 1 person we would have left out, from his behavior.

      everyone else has told us for 10 years it was their favorite wedding ever….

   7. Mine came with a little recipe book. Favorites from there: blackened salmon, bbq chicken drumsticks, sweet potato fries. Pro tip: DH uses it to reheat leftovers that would get soggy otherwise: fried potatoes, burgers, tonight it was a gyro…

      I’m sorry your family is being difficult. My mom texted me this week thanking me for not having a huge wedding (12 years late but I’ll take it). One of my cousins is in the final stages of wedding planning with TWELVE attendants (no kids allowed tho) and it’s causing my aunt a lot of grief.

4. I’m confused by fashion these days – what is a nice casual outfit that’s current? pre-pandemic, I wore skinny jeans, cashmere sweaters, Chelsea boots and cute printed scarves around this time of year for going out to dinner or exploring the city. I’ve been in COVID/pregnancy haze but now that I’m slowly getting out of it, I’m wondering what the 2022 equivalent should be….I hate the idea of wide pants honestly, but maybe I haven’t tried the right ones.

   1. Honestly, that outfit with the skinny jeans updated to straight or wide leg jean sounds good to me. Chelsea boots and cashmere sweaters are definitely in. Maybe a leather jacket to top it off?

   2. I’m loving the TikToker @beingjulia – she has a series where she’s updating 2010 millennial looks for 2022. she’d probably say trench coat or oversized blazer, leather leggings, and sneakers.

   3. I don’t think we’re doing a lot of scarves as accessories anymore.

      I agree with wider leg pants and more casual shoes.

   4. Piggybacking off of this question. For fuller leg or wide leg jeans when worn with chelsea boots (I’m picturing Blundstones or Doc Martens) , how long should the pants be? Above the ankle bone? Below the ankle bone?

      My experience was that if the pants are too short (i.e. 2″-3″ above your ankle bone), it’ll graze and fight with the top of your boot awkwardly as you walk. But I’m probably doing it wrong and that’s the Look.

5. Similar Q to above: have we settled on this year’s go-to work pant? For a couple years pre-pandemic, we were all wearing the J.Crew Cameron and had it in multiple colors. Do we have that for whatever’s in style now?

   1. I’m wearing the Talbots Hampshire ankle pants (shorter, so they go just past the ankle bone on me). The straight (not skinny, not wide leg) cut feels modern enough and they’re washable. I tried the cameron but the rise was off for me so they didn’t work.

      1. I wore the Talbot’s bi stretch straight leg pants before. Is the Hampshire the replacement? Can anyone comment on whether the fit is similar?

   2. Timely question! I’ve been contemplating Banana Republic’s Logan or Siena fits. They look to be full(er) legged than slim pants but not totally wide legged. From having worn various cuts of BR pants for 13 years, I know they’ll fit around the waist and hips.
      But haven’t bought yet because I’m clueless about hem lengths right now. Pairing them with lugged soled loafers, where should a full legged pant hem end? Stop above the ankle? Drape over side of the loafer? The loafers stop about 3/4″ below my ankle bone.

6. where would one wear a hot pink corduroy suit?

   1. I don’t have a place to wear this, but that doesn’t make me not want it. Maybe as separates.

   2. a 1980s themed party?

   3. To my solo trip to Paris. Great for pics!

   4. all gray outfit with pink blazer
      black or navy turtleneck with the pants
      full suit: in a creative field or for an artsy client.

   5. I am wearing my hot pink (not corduroy, alas) suit today and I have been working in my office and also presided over a Rotary Club meeting with 75+ attendees.

      1. are you taking on life and style interns, SA?

7. Recs for a urogynecologist in the DMV area? Also this is the type of specialist my PCP recommended I see for a specific issue (pain in the vulva area possibly nerve damage) but any other related titles I can search for are also appreciated. That term isn’t resulting in many hits. Thanks

   1. I’d ask your PCP to be more helpful and if you have a regular GYN ask them too.

   2. Nothing to recommend, but sympathies. I had a bout with vulvodynia a few years ago that was absolutely awful and it took being shuffled to 5 different specialists (I was with Kaiser) to finally find someone to help. I think it’s a really unexplored area. I eventually got treatment and now have zero symptoms, so have hope!

      Random rec: emu-aid cream maybe actually helped?

   3. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I had to quit all hormonal birth control, and I’m grateful that worked, but I feel lucky it worked too.

      If it turns out they’re pretty sure it’s nerve damage, a neuropathy specialist neurologist might become helpful at some point? Especially if they think it’s an autoimmune thing. But I think the urogynecologist may still be the place to start.

   4. Dr Luis Sanz at Virginia Hospital Center in Arlington performed my surgery. This was about ten years ago. His personality was brusque, but the surgery went very well and I had no follow-on issues. I had been in excruciating pain for several months prior to the surgery (extreme difficulty just transitioning from sitting to standing) as a result of damage sustained during childbirth.

   5. Olga Povcher at VHC is terrific. Good luck.

8. Looking to expand my workout gear, I want something cute, functional, and long-lasting. Is Lululemon truly worth the price or is it overhyped? Thanks!

   1. Not at all what you asked but Beyond Yoga is the BEST for leggings. Feels better than wearing no pants IMO. I never “got” leggings until I tried BY. I literally wear mine rock climbing and they haven’t pilled!

   2. I just retired several pairs of Lululemon leggings that I have been wearing at least weekly for 4-5 years. Definitely worth it for me. Lulu recently launched a “like new” site you may want to check out—they don’t make the leggings I like anymore, but I got 4 pairs for about half the price that will all hopefully last 4-5 years again!

   3. My lululemon and athleta workout gear is excellent, but I am only willing to buy used. A thrift store I like has a lululemon/athleta section.

   4. I love Athleta. Cute, fits me nicely, washes well and lasts forever.

   5. I think Lulu is worth it. I have 15 year old pieces that look new. Athleta just became available in no Canada and I was super disappointed in how much lower quality it was than Lulu. I won’t by it again.

   6. Worth it. As an early 2000s adoptee, I can count on one hand the number of pieces that have actually worn out and nearly all that have departed were due to my not being the same size as 10 years ago. I will say go to the store and try stuff on. A lot of the leggings come in different weights/materials/compression, and I have *thoughts* on the difference. Also, it fits best when you accept that it is not vanity sized, so don’t be surprised.

   7. For me Lululemon Align is super good. Lighter colors do show cellulite, so i go for darker colors or patterns.

      The dupe I do like is Aritzia TNAbutter. Am Lulu 8 and get L in TNA. All other dupes I’ve tried didnt work for me.

   8. I tend to spend more on workout bottoms and cheap out on tops. Lulu is pricey but it’s good quality. I also like Senita.

9. I have no interest in being rich, but I do love lifestyle magazines that cater to uber-wealthy people (WSJ, How to Spend It, Arch Digest, Goop). Something I’ve noticed from reading them is that it doesn’t seem like wealth can really get you anything that would radically make your life better or more pleasurable. A lot of things seem priced ridiculously just to be what rich people buy, but not because the value is necessarily astronomically better than lower-cost alternatives.

   A fun question: What are some things that make you feel like you’re getting a super-rich life experience for cheap? Or, alternatively, are there any things you feel like being rich could get you that can’t be replicated elsewhere?

   Things that make me feel rich:
   –Using the dry sauna and steam room at my fancy gym every day.
   –Yoga/pilates classes
   –Cooking fancy Bon Apetit recipes
   –Cashmere or silk from cheaper outlets (or even thrift stores)
   –Embracing Goop-type wellness adds: meditation, journaling, dry-brushing, soundbaths
   –High-ish end $100 garden toy
   –Intentional (but not expensive) interior design choices

   The only thing I can think of that would justify wanting money is being able to travel, but even there, I’ve found that staying in $1,000 a night hotels doesn’t really ever seem to improve the overall experience that much. (My family is wealthy so I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum). Same with buying a house: depending on design choices, a smaller home can seem a lot more luxurious than larger but meh-furnished ones.

   Why do people chase extreme wealth, do you think? Power and prestige? Or is there something it can get you that I’m missing?

   1. Lolz you’re missing that you are already rich

   2. I’d love to relax rather than grind away at work for the next several decades. Money gets you freedom.

      1. This! Whenever I am on vacation and sitting on the beach for the whole day or whatever, I always think man I wish this was my life! But instead, most weekday mornings I’m rushing to a meeting or a client call, etc.

   3. You are coming from a very privileged perspective. The people who say “money doesn’t matter to me” are the people who already have money/generational wealth/trust fund.

      If you grew up poor, your perspective would be quite different. Money is security.

      1. This 100%. Money is super important to me just so I can afford my car maintenance, rent in a VHCOL area, and an occasional Uber ride.

      2. Right?
         OP, money might not buy you happiness but it’s a lot better to cry in a Mercedes than on a bike.

         1. I had both and just sold the Mercedes. It’s much, much more cathartic to grind out my frustrations on a bike.

            1. Not when it’s 35 degrees, raining, and the bike is your only way to get to work and the grocery store.

            2. The point is that you did not have to sell your Mercedes and commute on a bike because of money concerns.

            3. But it’s different feel when your only affordable option is a bike and owning a car (let alone a Mercedes) is out of reach.

            4. @4:44, yes, actually I did. The car was older than many of the folks on this board and I’m a broke grad student with no family or partner paying my way. My only luxury in all this was I was able to allow myself a little while to get used to making all my trips on the bike before getting rid of the car. It’s not hard, per se, just takes practice.
               Feeling rich is buying a little meat on my grocery run.

         2. I’d rather cry on a bike to be honest. A bike can go off-road and works your muscles. Very cathartic.

            1. How have so many missed the point so completely?

            2. Being rich means you have the option to live close enough to your destination that making it a bike commute is feasible. And that you can afford subscriptions to those “lifestyle” publications OP listed above.

      3. +1. Money matters a lot. FWIW I did not grow up poor and I absolutely agree that money is security. Security is the number one reason I save regularly and pay for the best health insurance my job offers. My parents’ substantial savings would have been wiped out by health care costs without their excellent health insurance. Money buys security, choices, and peace of mind. There are a lot of things that are catastrophes without money and a mere hassle with it.

         It’s not clear what you mean by “no interest in being rich.” I have no interest in being Bezos rich, but I absolutely have an interest in accumulating a huge pile of savings and investments that will allow me to buy security, choices, and peace of mind.

   4. I splurge when it comes to handbags and sunglasses and very little else in my wardrobe. But I feel like if those two things are on point, it doesn’t matter how fancy or not the rest of my outfit is.

      I often visit the lakefront near me on weekends or super early before work (north of Chicago). Some of the best views. Even though I don’t live in any of the fancy homes along the shore, it makes me feel like it’s my own backyard.

      Most of my make up is drug store. But Chanel makes an under eyecream that is out of this world. I always feel super fancy putting it on before running out the door.

      I also splurged on the Air Wraper from Dyson (refurbished) during the beginning of Covid when I wasn’t getting hair appointments. I feel like I have newscaster hair on the days I use it. No one would know I didn’t step out of a salon.

   5. If you can do all of those things you mention without thinking too much about it, then you are already rich.

      1. +1

         This is nonsense.

      2. I expected “a walk in the park on a sunny day” or “reading a library book in a beautiful park” something like that. Cashmere and a fancy gym membership are just standard rich person things. And I say this as a rich person.

   6. My family is old money, I’m the black sheep and thus don’t have a trust fund (nor have they contributed anything financially to my life since the age of 17), but I still live like old money on my modest salary. Heres what I do:
      – Only solid wood/stone/glass furniture, exclusively sourced second hand, there’s no laminate or plastic in my house. My furniture spans from about 1860-2010
      – Only natural fibre clothing, again sourced second hand. I have an army of cashmere sweaters to wear in the winter.
      – All my art is originals purchased second hand/from auction, no prints. It’s mostly oil paintings since that’s my taste but there are some water colour, etchings, and charcoal sketches too.
      – Doing without until I find the right thing/not settling. Which does mean I went without drinking glasses and used mason jars for like 6 months until I found some glassware I love, lol.

      1. Oh and as to what money buys it’s TIME! Do you think my grandma is sourcing her own antiques? Nah, she has a lady for that. She has a person for everything.

      2. I want to know where you are doing your second hand shopping! Especially for art, that’s an area I want to improve in my home.

         1. I get my art from FB marketplace, in person estate sales, garage sales, antique stores, thrift stores, and online estate sales (like maxsold). My art varies from unsigned mystery stuff, to pieces by legit artists who are part of some famous museum collections. It’s not fast though, it’s taken me about 3 years to collect a full house worth of art. The most I’ve ever spent on a piece was $175, though they tend to average closer to 50.

      3. Aside from only natural fibre clothing, I do the same thing, and I actually grew up poor.

         Doing without and buying second hand just makes more sense. Vintage/antiques are better buys because they are overall better quality, and waiting to buy something is far better than wasting money on just anything that will just be replaced by the better thing anyway.

      4. Where are you finding secondhand cashmere? I only ever find destroyed cashmere at my usual thrifting haunts

         1. Does your city have a neighborhood with 100+ year old houses that are well maintained and not gentrified? If so that’s the neighborhood, for me the thrift store in that neighborhood is a weird sad value village that hasn’t been renoed since the 60s, but it’s full of amazing things.

      5. Yes to original art! I saw a piece hanging in a coffee shop so I reached out to the seller, met her and discussed what inspired the piece, and purchased it for about $200. Good Lord I feel wealthy whenever I look at it ha! And of course it brings me joy because it is beautiful.

   7. I know this isn’t quite what you’re asking, but using my OXO cooking utensils that have lasted me at least a decade now. Sure, they’re not expensive by this board’s means, but earlier in life I couldn’t afford to save up that $20-$25 to buy a decent pair of kitchen shears because I needed the money for gas to get to work or to pay utilities, and bought cheap kitchen shears from the dollar store that would always break in a year or two. So.. Sam Vimes’ boots economic theory (Terry Pratchett).

   8. Well I can’t even afford yoga classes so I guess I’d start there

   9. I once (very very randomly) went sailing in Portafino Italy, and was like, oh, this is why people want to be super-rich.

   10. You’re rich. I’m rich enough per a net worth exercise, always feel cash strapped. I’m definitely on the team that money buys you time, options, conveniences and solutions. It’s a handy tool to have in the amount you need, when you need it. Otherwise, that which gives me pleasure makes me feel rich. This can run the gamut from time with friends and family, projects and hobbies to purchasing an item I really needed that that meets my needs.

   11. 1. You are definitely already rich.
       2. I love flying business class (makes me feel rich) but OMG I would TOTALLY fly private if I were super rich (and it wasn’t, you know, destroying the planet).
       3. The biggest difference in happiness comes from you get enough money to stop worrying about money all the time. Beyond that it’s largely gravy.
       4. A lot of people chase extreme wealth because it’s the way they keep score. More money = winning.

       1. #2! DH and I are rich. Every time we travel (economy class) we talk about how we have plenty of money and have neither the inclination nor the desire to be super wealthy but man…if we could fly private…that would be the ticket, so to speak.

       2. I would actually never want to fly private due to the safety risks. Commercial aircraft are extremely safe (much safer than cars) and private aircraft are not. That said, if our household income doubled tomorrow I would never fly economy class again. Business is soooo much better. And while I can’t see myself ever spending $1,000 a night on a basic city hotel just for fancy service and rooms, I have been known to spend that much for a great view, direct access to a fabulous snorkeling beach or a unique experience (like an overwater bungalow).

   12. I belong to a volunteer fund-raising group for the local orchestra, and quite a few of the members belong to at least one private club in town. I have more time than money, so I am able to contribute my computer skills to the group, soI get to go to events at these clubs, once or twice a year, without having to join. Win win!

   13. It feels like a lot of people are not answering the question you are asking (why do people chase extreme wealth) – which is different from why do people want to make six figures and thus be “rich”.

       And there are a lot of reasons. For some very competitive people, making millions is “winning” and that matters to them. I see that a lot, maybe because the people who make that amount of money are often very competitive. For people who grew up poor, there is often fundamental insecurity that no amount of money is ever enough.

       And for some people private planes, renting a villa on a private island, owning a mint-condition Shelby Cobra (or a Picasso) makes them happy. If I won a billion dollars tomorrow, I can think of multiple things I would do and buy (mostly do) that would make me happier than I am with my top 5% salary and it would enable me to do more for my kid who is wonderful and responsible but who chose a field that will never make her rich by anyone’s definition.

   14. In no particular order: Morbier and other French cheeses, fresh sourdough from the chic bakery, and ‘the good olive oil’ from the tiny Italian gourmet shop. Fresh flowers in the living room and the bedroom in vases wide enough that they splay out. Dinner set with linen napkins and candles. Taxi to brunch/home from the bar instead of public transit. Eucalyptus or lavender in the shower. A silk sleep mask. Reading the newspaper (print!) +having a flat white with a single tiny cookie on the side at a cafe.

10. “but isn’t the hot pink FUN?” are you being sarcastic, or is there actually a place in real life that an adult can unironically wear a hot pink suit?

    1. Man, you people must lead really boring lives. I bought a hot pink suit about 4 or 5 years ago and I wear it for work functions, like big meetings or conferences or receptions.

       1. +1 I don’t get the hate for bright pink here. I have a Theory one and wear it regularly for everything other than court.

    2. I have grey hair and it looks great with a hot pink jacket.

       1. I’m sure it looks amazing!!

    3. I agree, I would never wear this. Maybe a hot pink top with jeans or under a suit.
       And yes for Indian festive attire I would wear a hot pink saree. But wouldn’t wear it to work in India either.

    4. I would not wear the whole suit together, but I would this as separates literally anywhere except for a courtroom.

    5. *waving my hand, again*

       1. …with a blue and white striped top underneath.

    6. This color seems like it would be really flattering on a lot of folks. The full suit might be too formal but as separates it would work in plenty of offices.

11. What is the difference between being a catastrophizer and merely being prepared? Got the c-word thrown at me just now. FWIW, I am not an anxious person and tend to not freak out in a crisis (unlike the person who @ me).

    1. Ignore that person. Keep being prepared. People love to insult the risk-averse (which includes me) but I think it’s because they’re defensive about the risks they take.

       1. OP here. I don’t even think I’m risk-averse, just reasonably prepared for things. Like when I fly with small children, I have 2 changes of clothes (diaper blow-out, vomiting) and a day of baby food and diapers in a backpack vs checked bag. You could miss a connection. Your flight could be delayed 8 hours. You could have a connection too tight for getting your next meal.

          It helps (I think) to think of what is the reasonably likely worst that could happen, think of how you feel about that, and plan / re-plan / act accordingly.

          1. That doesn’t sound like a crisis. That sounds like a normal day with a child! It’s just being prepared as a parent

          2. that sounds like “well prepared” vs catastrophizer to me.

          3. That’s not catastrophizing! You are not the problem.

          4. This sounds like good prep to me.

             DH and kid just went on a trip with a quick flight. I packed a bag with various snacks. DH was like “isn’t this overkill?” and I was like “You never know when a short-haul flight changes into one that has to be diverted and circles around for 1+ hour…” Ask me how I know.

       2. I’m quite risk-averse and my colleagues can and do disagree with me, but they’re not doing it because they’re defensive. It is possible for people to have very different risk tolerances. If your attitude is that you’re definitely right and everybody else is wrong, I can see why you might be picking up on some negativity.

          1. Ha! I write risk factors for a living. I have not yet gotten to “there might be a zombie apocalypse, and if there is we can make no assurance that market disruptions or loss of value won’t occur.”

    2. Who called you that? It seems a bit like name-calling to me. People should respect your boundaries and whatever precautions you want to take.

       To answer your question: The difference depends on the perspective of whoever is saying it. Do whatever you want and feel safe about.

       1. yeah, like the joke about driving, anyone *you* pass is going ridiculously slow, and anyone who passes *you* is a maniac ;)

          at some point “preparedness” goes very extreme, like the people who dig cellars and keep years’ worth of food and water down there, or are constantly living for the possible worst case scenario at the expense of actually living in the present, but sounds like a rude interaction!

          1. Also: retirement planning. Hope is not a strategy! Cash in a mayo jar doesn’t make sense in the US where we have a sound banking system. But thinking about your assets tanking and that is why you diversify is not the same as whatever catastrophic of means (sibling: I’m looking at you).

    3. I read c word as cancer on first reading. And was about to console you on feeling however you want as someone living with cancer myself. (Maybe that makes me a catastrophizer that is is so much on my mind? LoL) That said, I think a true catastrophizer is someone who takes a neutral set of facts and assumes it is bad.

       Someone who plans to avoid negative things happening is just being smart. A lot of my job is project management. If you don’t walk through what-ifs and make plans, it usually leaves fewer options. With my cancer, I stay pretty positive and I know I’ll beat this, but I still want to do what I can to make sure I plan adequate time for rest, have supplies I need on hand if I don’t have energy to retrieve them, etc. etc. Planning doesn’t mean you’re willing the bad to happen. It means you’re trying to set yourself up for as successful a time as you can.

       I suspect the person hurling the insult is someone who is ill-prepared a lot of times and doesn’t want to admit this about themselves.

    4. I have anxiety, and I tend to catastrophize when it’s not under control. What that means for me is that I tend to automatically assume that the worst possible thing is going to happen, based on no real evidence. Then, since that thing is already going to happen, I get paralyzed and don’t actually prepare for it not to happen.

       I also like to be prepared. Having a backpack with extra clothes and food when traveling with small children is not catastrophizing, it’s just common sense. When DH and I take road trips, we have a road atlas and an emergency kit that we throw in the car–I bought it after a road trip where we saw several stranded motorists in dangerous conditions. I live outside New Orleans, and I have a full hurricane kit. Last week, when the path of Ian was unknown, DH double-checked our kit and went to Costco to pick up our family prescriptions, put gas in the car, and buy one more case of bottled water. It turned out not to be necessary, but (a) we didn’t buy anything we won’t use up, and (b) last year, Ida really came out of nowhere fast, and our longer term preparation meant that we claimed a spot with the best family members, were able to secure the house and pack our car in 1.5 hours after work, and left before traffic was bad.

    5. I think this really depends on the context and your relationship to the person who said it; ie, how are they affected by what they are calling “catastrophizing” behavior? Broadly speaking to me catastrophizing implies you are just unproductively listing off terrible things that will happen as a result of small problems – eg, you got in a minor fender bender after years of blemish free driving record, and you are now spinning out mentally thinking you will lose your license/car insurance and have to move closer to your office so you can walk, which will mean selling your house at a loss, so you’ll never be able to retire…. VS proactively planning for potential problems, eg, let’s think about what we will do if the other driver is uninsured/ I get a ticket/ our car insurance goes up/ for some reason car ins doesn’t cover this and I have to pay out of pocket..

       1. This is helpful and is how DH thinks. Makes some things make sense now.

    6. Having a few cases of water stashed in your basement = normal
       Having your basement filled to the brim with dry food storage and 500 pounds of rice = not normal

Comments are closed.