ByKat Hours Updated
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Suit of the Week: Stella McCartney

Stella McCartney suitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. I think this suit is a great example of a very modern, yet very conservative, suit. The tapered pants hemmed right above the ankle, the zips on the pants — all paired with a really traditional blazer — love. The whole look is sleek, professional, and modern. The length of the pants puts this suit firmly in the “fun” bucket — i.e., not for court or a big client meeting — but it really tests the boundaries for me. The jacket (Ingrid wool blazer) is $1,295, and the pants (Vivian wool-gabardine tapered pants) are $610. Here's a similar, much more affordable suit in blush (blazer, pants), and here's a plus-size option for tapered pants. tapered pants suit (L-all)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

68 Comments

  1. I love the Jacket, Kat, but not the pant’s. If this came with a pretty matchieng skirt, I would consider it. But my firm will NOT let me wear any type of pant’s suit, b/c the manageing partner does NOT want for our cleint’s to be distracted. In the winter, I wish he would let me wear slack’s. FOOEY! But in the summer, I am happy to wear skirt’s b/c it is to hot out for slack’s.

    Myrna told me that the muni market is very volatile today b/c of Greece and Porto Rico. Dad has Porto Rico bond’s for my retirement. He does NOT like to pay taxes so he has alot of investement’s in bond’s for me. I have my own 401K at work for my retirement, so I am not concerned. Plus there is a partnership retirement plan that I am in that will let me retire as early as age 50 at 1/2 of my final 3 year average salary. But that is 16 year’s away from now and I need to have babie’s before I am 50 or I will not have them. The manageing partner say’s he will ask the partnership to allow me to take a pregnancy leave of absense to have babies, but I MUST be back at work 6 week’s after the babies are born. FOOEY b/c I want to be abel to take off more time and then STILL have full retirment at age 50.

    Is there anyone in the hive with a similar program? How do they handel haveing babie’s? I need to plan now so that I can marry the right guy and retire with babie’s. YAY!!!

  2. I don’t know if I am venting or looking for advice, but being single is killing my career and I don’t know what to do.

    Now at my third company after grad school, I am again the only single person. I was the only single person at the small company, the only at the mid-sized company, and now the only single person I know in the large company (and I know a ton of people through work). I’ve been here 4 years now and I am well-liked…but new people come in and are able to forge better relationships within the department and with others through dinner invites and other functions that I am rarely invited to. It feels as though I am excluded because I am the only person who does not have a “plus one.” So it would be awkward to include me. Plus I work with a lot of men, and I suspect their wives wouldn’t appreciate their spending time with me at happy hours, etc., so I am just not invited. Worse yet, on the very rare occasion that I AM invited, I will go but it is just so painful…everybody else has an SO and a “real life” to go with it; I feel like a pathetic shell of a person or even a child in comparison. I’m often asked if I am dating anybody (never). If I manage to have a good time with my paired-up co-workers, I always crash hard when I go home to an empty place. I’m great at going to work functions as the “plus one” – one ex-bf in my last city likened me to Michelle Obama – but I cannot function on my own in social gatherings.

    Am I just doomed to feel like an “other” for being single at 34? I’ve basically given up on finding somebody in my city. Supposedly in my city women talk about not wanting to go to the bar because they will just get hit on…meanwhile I go out alone often and have been hit on maybe 3 times in 15 years. I am attractive, but I am just too shy, too old, not feminine enough, and too abnormal (read: I find sports tiresome and don’t have any interest in pop culture). I’ve kinda gotten over the “I’ll always be single” thing, but knowing that I am being denied opportunities to foster work relationships and therefor get promoted, etcetera just hurts so badly.

    1. I feel like a broken record but SRSLY THERAPY. Omg girl you’ve got it going on. There is zero reason you need to feel like a pathetic shell of a person when you attend events single. Not liking sports and pop culture doesn’t doom you to a life alone. You might never find a partner, but you can find a way to handle life single.

      Throw a party! Invite the men you work with, and their wives, and your friends.

      1. Agreed. I don’t know your situation, but sometimes people don’t invite you because they think you, a fun young single woman, may not be interested in socializing with a bunch of boring guys. Sometimes you have to make it known. I know how weird it is, believe me, it takes effort. It also helps to ask others at your office for advice with your career. Even if you don’t think you need it, it helps you make connections.

        And it’s ok to be single, but if you really don’t want to be, consider online dating. Going out to bars is not the best way to meet people anymore.

    2. “I go out alone often and have been hit on maybe 3 times in 15 years. ”

      You need wingwomen. Guys are reluctant to approach a woman alone, often because they assume she’s just waiting for her date to show up. Bring at least two girlfriends, because many guys won’t want to isolate the friend if they start chatting you up. And the wingwomen should not bring any SOs (if male). Guys will assume the man “belongs” to at least one of the group, and won’t bother trying to figure out who.

    3. Calm down, you are ONLEY my age and I am singel also. There is nothing wrong with us–we just want guy’s who will aperciate us for what we bring to the table — smart’s, beauty as well as a career. Also we are still of the age where we can bring children into the world, so do NOT worry. Listen to my Grandma Trudy. I am paraphraseing, but she says to me:

      “Go with the time’s and do NOT be prudeish. If you have to sleep with men do so b/c you will sureley meet alot of frog’s before you meet your prince. Also, do NOT laugh at the men if they are clumsy or have other issue’s. Their performance issue’s need NOT be permeanent, so it does NOT matter if they are bad. Do NOT get pregenent with any guy who is NOT goeing to marry you. Use proper birth control.”

      I have taken and applied these lesson’s but I am STILL not married. But I carry hope for the future b/c I have standard’s including finding a guy who want’s to buy a house in Chapaqua for us. Once I find that guy, he will be a keeper for me! YAY!!!!

    4. FWIW, I don’t think it’s weird to not be interested in sports or pop culture. I’m sure you have other fascinating interests and can come up with general small talk regardless. I agree with the other commenters: get a group of girlfriends together and have a night out — no men allowed! You’re going to have fun, and if a guy approaches, your friends can help you out. I also agree that your coworkers might not realize you’re looking to socialize outside work. Do you talk about your life outside the 9-5? Have you ever suggested meeting for a happy hour or even just popping out for a coffee or quick lunch? Maybe that’s what other, coupled coworkers are chatting about and so that’s how mutual plans are made. YMMV, but if you hear that a group went to, say, a winery together, I’d ask about the trip and if it feels right, say, “Let me know when you’re going next time. I’d love to join!”

      And good luck. I did online dating and although I ultimately considered a success (found my hubs on there), it was a somewhat rocky road. My friends helped me get the profile up (because I’m a horrible self-evaluator), acted as sounding boards for “should I respond to this guy?” and helped me laugh after not-so-great dates.

    5. Find people who share your interests. Find a Meetup, cafe, or whatever where people like to play board games, talk economics, whatever.

      You sound very introverted, in the sense of disliking small talk, crashing hard after social events, etc. Don’t fight your introversion; just find social situations that aren’t as intense, don’t feature as much small talk, and let you go home before you are exhausted.

    6. I don’t know if you’re still looking for updates, but I’d really suggest getting a hobby (or five). I’m married and find that now I have LESS things to talk about when I was single and could participate in a lot of activities. If you organize a firm happy hour and someone asks “so Single, are you seeing anyone?” you can answer “no! don’t have time with all the rock climbing/traveling I’ve got planned. I’m actually doing a tri this weekend….” People default to spouses/kids because it’s a socially acceptable topic to start a conversation. Just give them something else to talk to you about.

  3. I hate parties. I don’t know how to attend one, much less host one. And my rented apartment looks like a 22 year old girl lives there, vs. all my married or paired up co-workers and their impeccably decorated adult homes. Seriously, the idea of any co-worker seeing my place is humiliating. Although I do bet my bank account balance compares quite favorably.

    And I really don’t have any girlfriends. Women have never liked me. I was bullied horribly through years of school – think tripping me, stealing my stuff, and even spitting in my face or spitting their gum into my hair. And in any event, every woman I know within 10 years of my age is married – they want to spend their free time with their SO, which I understand and support.

    1. Wow, no offense, but you don’t seem to like hanging out with yourself, so how can you expect someone – co-worker, girlfriend or SO, to enjoy getting to know you. Definitely seconding the therapy. Perhaps you are being held back because you’re single. I kind of doubt it frankly as most people (well, women at least) seem to pay a career penalty for pairing up these days and often leaving earlier in the evening from work or being less mobile as a result. I think you’re likely giving off a vibe of negativity and that’s the issue.

      1. I agree with this. Honestly, your posts make me not want to hang out with you either. Do you have any interests you can cultivate? Expand your social circle? I usually don’t jump on the therapy bandwagon around here, but in this case it seems like you need to be happy with yourself first.

        ETA: Espresso bean below said this nicer than I did – she has some great suggestions.

    2. Honestly, it sounds like you might benefit from talking to a therapist about your social life. Lots of people have social issues and there’s nothing wrong with seeing someone about it. It sounds like you find it challenging and have low self-esteem because of it. It’s probable that people can sense how uncomfortable you are and don’t invite you for that reason.

    3. Yup. Therapy. There’s no reason why you should be living in an apt that you find humiliating. I’m single and 32 and my apt is beautiful and I don’t have to compromise with anyone about it.

      Not having any female friends is something you can and should change. Invite one of those married friends to get a pedicure one morning, or go to a yoga class. Then ask another and repeat. Bullying leaves scars and those scars can be healed.

      If you sounded happy with your life, I’d focus on the professional side, but you sound miserable and hopeless. You don’t solve that with more networking.

    4. I see a few separate issues here, not all of which are directly related to being single.

      Insecurity about your place/feeling not “adult” enough — It doesn’t take a partner or tons of money to have a beautiful apartment! You have the power (and it sounds like the savings, too) to make your place a lovely home. You don’t need a boyfriend for that. And it doesn’t take a lot of money to personalize a place and make it feel special, either. Plants, Etsy prints, and Craigslist finds can take your home from generic to beautiful without a lot of spending.

      I’m sorry to hear about the bullying. Kids can be really mean. But childhood is over, and most people (I like to think) are decent. As an adult, now you get to choose whom to spend your time with, so if you don’t like someone, move on! And if you do like someone, focus on cultivating that friendship.

      And if the partnered ones are spending all their time with their SOs, find new friends, partnered or single. Seriously. I am single, and probably 75% of my friends are in relationships, but they still make time for me. There are people out there who will want to be friends with you for you, not because you are or aren’t in a relationship.

      That said, it can really help to have friends who understand your place in life. My married friends just don’t get what it’s like to go solo to a wedding or online date or pay rent alone. But my single friends totally do, and sharing experiences with them helps validate my feelings and makes me feel like I’m not alone in this.

      So find some single friends. Easier said than done, right? But there must be something you’re interested in that could relate to a Meetup group, club, or class. It only takes one or two people to make a real difference in your life, so don’t think of it as you against the world — more like you’re just looking for one person you really like and connect with. And you’re doing something you enjoy at the same time that opens up your circles, which can only lead to good things, since it sounds like the work circle isn’t doing it for you.

      No matter what your interests are, there are others out there who share them. Not all of us like sports and pop culture, I promise. You may have to look a little harder than those with obvious, mainstream interests. But it will make a world of difference to connect with others who share your feelings and interests.

      I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

    5. Sorry- but this is actually a you issue- not an everyone else issue. Women have never liked you is ridiculous, women as are diverse as possible- all different personalities, all different likes and dislikes. Its terrible that you had a bad experience with one group and it sounds awful. But to take away from that women haven’t liked you isn’t true- and its possible that you are self sabotaging yourself. Plus all married women aren’t glued to their SO. Your update makes me not trust your accounting of your first post- I think it sounds like you are suffering from some really tough self esteem issues which may make you feel like everyone is hanging out without you or that you are awful in social situations on your own. I think people can sense how uncomfortable you feel at these events and that’s why you are not invited- there is no reason that being single should be hurting your career, and no reason you should feel shame about your home. People don’t magically become good decorators because they get married.

      Getting hit on bars has less to do with being attractive and much more to do with your approachability (I’m not talking about jerks who just through out lines but men genuinely looking to talk to someone) It sounds like you just hate your life right now. Put dating out of your mind. Try a therapist, and try to find something that brings enjoyment to your life- maybe meeting more friends in general so you feel like you have a more fufilled life, or a hobby/volunteer that you are passionate about.

    6. And for some inadditiontotherapy advice:

      A few years ago I found myself with no good friends nearby. And it was sad and lonely and hard. Really hard. I decided to make my mission for the year having friends. I reached out to every connection I had- oh hai random former classmate, want to go to a bar event together? I joined a rec sports league. I went to meet ups. I told everyone I could that I was looking to meet people. I frequented the same yoga class every week. I went to church. I asked coworkers to go to happy hours. And it was so so very hard. Lots of people said no. And I had to push myself to take their rain checks seriously and ask again. And again. And to make myself find really cool sounding events to invite people too.
      And lots of times I would have been happier staying home than at an event but I did it.

      It sucked. It was hard. And it worked. It worked really really slowly. That first year I made a couple casual friends. And I built on that. Now I’m a bit of a social butterfly and people look to me to be the one spearheading fun events. It took my really understanding that hey, not everyone will like me, but I’m awesome and funny and thoughtful and kind and I have something to offer the world to do it.

      I am still single. And I’m deeply sad and worried about that. But I’m not alone. You can do this.

    7. “And I really don’t have any girlfriends. Women have never liked me. I was bullied horribly through years of school – think tripping me, stealing my stuff, and even spitting in my face or spitting their gum into my hair.”

      You don’t have to think of yourself this way! When I was younger I figured/it seemed like everyone hated me and I had few female friends. I was definitely also bullied. I made a concerted effort in college to figure out how to relate to women and make small talk- now I’m really pretty socially adept. But the most amazing part is that I tell people about how it was in the past/ that I’m shy/ perceive myself as bad at making friends and they are totally shocked, because they don’t see me this way! People don’t see in your head!

    8. Hmmm…I feel for you. I’m married and don’t have the same issues as you but it’s hard for me to make new friends too. I have old friends who are my best friends and we love each other to death but making new friends can be tough. I don’t like sports or know too much about pop culture which makes conversations with new people (men or women) difficult. I’ve dated but only really had one boyfriend in my life (which I married) so I didn’t get hit on by men either. People (like you and me) are shy and it can be tough but it doesn’t mean things can’t change. No real advice here. Just sympathy.

    9. You sound like my sister. I love her, she’s an awesome, single, 37-year-old with who always has the most interesting take on any movie I’ve seen. I’ve always admired how she’s followed her own star and done exactly what she felt was right. One reason, however, that she’s so good at following her conscious is that she’s not aware of social cues. She was also bullied very badly in school, probably because of that. Honestly, I was very much the same way. I started therapy because I realized, in my early 30s, that I hadn’t been on a second date in 7 years. I basically retrained myself for social situations, which helped me both professionally (my softer skills got *much* stronger) and personally (hello bf of 1.5 years). You can change your life.

    10. I would like to be the voice of dissent in this pile-on-you.

      I was single for 90% of my BigLaw days, from first year (when my first husband, who had been beloved by my firm when I was a summer associate and I divorced) until I became a partner. It allowed me to take on serious responsibility very early and do a lot and do it well. (In those days, we didn’t yet call it leaning in.) I know that it contributed significantly to my becoming a partner.

      Social events, though, were very painful. First, when billing that many hours, there were very few social events. I rarely had the time or energy to plan or attend anything. Second, at firm-sponsored events, colleagues (mostly male) talked about sports etc., Women at the events (almost entirely colleagues’ wives) wanted to talk about children (I am childless by choice), and mostly not with me because I was their husbands’ colleague (that included no small amount of long days and nights and much travel for long trials). I assure you that I could not have been less interested in stealing, or even borrowing, their husbands. And I can feign interest in kid-talk for only so long.

      All of which is to say: I totally understand what you are going through. It is not about you. There is nothing wrong with you.

      Things that helped:

      – When I was working less than 8-+ hours/week, I made a point of doing one non-work thing a week. My choice. Museum. Movie. Read a book. Take a walk. Go out to eat or for a drink, usually alone. It only feels as if everyone is watching you eat alone; no one really is.
      – Going in-house. See above.
      – Meeting my husband, the love of my life, at 40. It happens.
      – Getting older and not caring as much.

      Please don’t be discouraged or think it is you.

    11. Ok, so what, other than work, do you like? What you have told us:
      You have no work friends.
      You have no female friends.
      Men don’t hit on you.
      You hate your apartment.
      You have a lot of money
      You don’t like sports
      You don’t like pop culture.
      You feel like these things are harming your career.

      To me, you sound unhappy. You can do something about it or you can talk to someone about it or you can accept it as unalterable.

      Talk to someone: Therapy. A Career/ Life Coach. A single woman mentor.

      Do something: Make your apartment a cool place to be.
      Or invite work people to some other place- happy hour, lunch, a neighborhood or charity event you are working on or going to?
      Or make some friends via something you like to do (working out: barre or soul cycle or Orange or crossfit friends? High art: Friends from the fundraisers for the opera, symphony, ballet, museum, etc.? Cooking: classes?)
      Go on some dates: Ok Cupid, Match.com, eHarmony, It’s Just Lunch, speed dating?

  4. Could anyone recommend an attorney to do a very simple will/estate plan in NYC, preferably someone located downtown or in Brooklyn? It’s a very routine situation, I would just like something in place. How much show I expect to spend?

    I know this has been asked before but I cannot for the life of me find it. Thank you all!

    1. If there’s no trust involved, I’d say $500. If there’s a trust, but your estate plan otherwise simple, $1000.

  5. Yes, still therapy. Also, are you assuming the married women don’t want to go out, or are they all saying that to you? I go out as a married woman with my married girlfriends often, and often wish I was going out more!

  6. And did your location/social surrounding have any impact?

    1. 28. No. We are professionals in the bay area, and most of the people we know had kids later, more like 32ish, so all of our friends either have kids a couple years younger than mine (or don’t have kids yet) or have kids that are friends with my kids, and consequently are a few to many years older than we are. My oldest’s BFF’s parents are ten years older than we are. In hindsight, we probably started a little early (I was just finishing up my first year in biglaw when I gave birth), but I really wanted them and was getting stressed out by the thought of waiting.

    2. Haven’t had a child yet, and I will say that I do think my location/social surroundings have played a role in that – my H is in his mid-30s (I’ve just turned 30, myself), and most of his friends are only just having their first at 34/35 (and first kid post-30 is extremely common in my area, generally), so when I realized at 29 (when we first thought we might start trying) that there were some personal and career reasons why I didn’t feel ready yet, it was no big deal to talk about (and agree to) putting it off, because our social group is very pro “take your time” on the kid front. I think the “can we wait?” conversation would’ve been very different if we’d been in a different social/geographic setting.

    3. 28. My husband is seven years older than me, so he was more than ready. Our friends had started having kids, so that helped me see what life might look like and decide to go for it. Had I been married to someone younger and/or not had friends with babies, I may have waited a bit longer. But I am loving parenthood, so I am happy with the timing.

    4. Has anyone contemplated not having kids based on life circumstances not being conducive, can’t think of a better word. I’m now 35 and single, and also currently not stable financially or career-wise. I thought that I would have kids but now it seems impossible. I.E. I feel like I would have to rush to find a suitable partner to do it.

    5. 32 and living in Seattle at the time. I was no spring chicken, but still among the first of my peer group to have children. So yes, I’m sure that influenced our decision.

    6. 26 – but it was a surprise (I am one of “less than perfect compliance to the pill usage” statistics – yes, forgetting to start a new pack on time or forgetting one day but taking 2 the next really does make a difference)

      However, that’s only a year or two earlier than we probably would have been trying, and pretty typical for my social/family circle in small-town MidWest. Most of my friends from high school had their first kid by age 28-30 – and a great many more high school acquaintances had them by 22.

      I live in a town with both a high poverty rate and a large population of academics who waited for tenure, so it’s not uncommon in my son’s classes to have parents that gave birth at 15, 20, 30 and 40 and 45 all with kids in the same class, and it makes for some interesting dynamics at PTO meetings.

    7. 34, and pregnant with my first. Location / social surrounding didn’t have any impact, but career sure did. I never felt that I could handle working at the law firms I was working at and also have children. Now that I’ve been in-house a little over 2 years, I finally decided I could make it work.

      1. Also pregnant with my first and I’ll be 30 when I actually have the kiddo and husband will be 34. I live in a medium sized city in the Northeast, and have a very interesting mix of friends. Half are fairly traditional young marrieds who have their first kids between 28-35, the other half are academics/non-traditional life path wanderers, none of whom have kids yet.

        I grew up in a small town and most people I went to high school with had their first kid around 22 or 23 and are now either on kiddo 3 or done with kids completely.

        My decision was driven primarily by career, finances, and literally having a moment in time I can point to where I just decided, ‘yep. there will never be a perfect time, so let’s do this.’

    8. 31. I am on the young side for my location and social group, but not by much. I think most people around here have kids mid to late 30s and in quick succession (kids close in age). Having older friends who had kids helped me see that kids + career was doable, and we didn’t want to have kids close in age for my career timing. I am about 7-8 years “late” for where I grew up, though.

      1. And I live in a medium-size Northeast city and hang out with a lot of attorneys and academics. I’m from the Midwest originally.

    9. Had kids at 33 and 37 in San Francisco. I don’t think “location” per se was a factor. It was more about my stage in life, relationship and career.

      1. PS: I am a junior partner in BigLaw. Most of my friends have high-powered careers. I actually was among the first in my group of friends to have kids. A lot of them waited until 36-40 to have the first. Lots of IVF in the group.

    10. I was a 30-year-old 2L when I had my child. Aside from the fact that I was in law school, it was the right time in our lives, and I was already old enough that we weren’t willing to take the risk of waiting until I graduated and established myself in my new career. Our location and social surroundings did not influence our decision at all, since we didn’t know anyone with a life anything like ours. I was the only person I knew in law school who had a child, and the only mom I knew in our neighborhood who wasn’t a SAHM.

      1. Good for you! It’s been almost upsetting for me to see how many of my male law school classmates have had kids with their SAHW, while my female classmates are clearly waiting to become “established.”

        I just graduated, I’m 26, and I’d like to have my first by 30. If my SO had his way, it would be much sooner. He’s pretty jealous of his college friends who have already had one or two, but then, he went to school in Montana where having kids before 25 is more common. If I’m having my first around 30, maybe 29, that would be a tad early for my location in the PNW.

    11. 31 for my first. Yes. I live in Pittsburgh and was basically well into spinsterhood already when I got married at age 30. My coworkers who are my age (32 now) generally already have 2-3 kids to my 1, and my childless coworkers are in their early to mid 20s.

      1. Hey! I’m in Pittsburgh too. :) Getting married this fall at age 35 and trying for a bebe right now!

    12. I was 17 and honestly in the area I grew up in it was not all that abnormal. What I hope will become less abnormal is that I graduated high school on time, finished college in four years, and then graduated law school three years later. I worked very hard to prove that my sweet baby did not ruin my life.

      I got married during law school (not to the father of my first child) and had two more kids–one at 24 (was 7 months pregnant when I took the bar, planned) and one at 27 (we knew we wanted another one, but did not meticulously plan this one like my second and was a little surprised, haha!) These kids are now 14, 6, and 4 and I think everything has worked out well!

      My husband is the child of two much older parents and although he had a happy childhood, he had some negative feelings based on the age of his parents and was fairly adamant that he wanted to have children while he was still young.

    13. 32, Midwest. We started a family when I was ready career-wise, but at that age in this area we were on the old side. Many assumed we had decided against kids.

    14. 34, spouse was 37. We seem about average for our city (San Francisco). We had our first when we did because we were ready, both physically (I had health issues beginning at 29 that would have made pregnancy significantly more awful) and mentally.

    15. I am pregnant and will be 29 when I have my first. I live in a medium-sized city in the Midwest and am sort of in between my friends. About half had their first around 25 and about half still don’t have kids. There is definitely pressure here to have kids youngish (before 30).

    16. 32, in Seattle. Had finished graduate school two years prior, had attained a supervising associate title and others in my grad school cohort were having their first kids too, which made me think it was do-able. Also a health scare the year before had made me see that life was too short and I didn’t have to have the perfect house, job, bank acct. to have a kid.

    17. 27, almost 28, So Cal. I was a 2L and it worked out great for me because I didn’t have to go to work full time until he was 2. Nobody in my law school class was having babies but I lived in a condo complex with a lot of young families so I had friends with babies. My husband was quite a bit older so we felt like we wanted to get started ASAP.

      I feel like it’s really paying off now — I’m in my mid-50s and I’m finished with child-rearing, while a lot of my friends still have kids at home.

    18. 27. I don’t know about location (we’re in a large city in the western U.S.), but probably culture. Several of my close friends who became SAHMs had kids starting around the same age or a bit younger. Several law school friends had started having children as well.

    19. 36 for first. Live in NYC. Didn’t go to law school until I was 30 and married at 35. Career change for law school delayed marriage and getting pregnant. While I sometimes wish I’d had my first when I was younger, I don’t regret the decisions I made about my life and career that delayed it. I did things between college and 35!

    20. Prep at 29, kid born at 30. We thought (and still think) we may want 3 and our goal was to have that as an option while having kids in the earlier side of my 30s. We’re about to start trying (casually) for #2 and I’m 31.

      I live in the Boston area and have worked full time. As it happens, DH got laid off when i was 5 months pregnant, so that was fun, but we made it! He got a job offer two weeks before I went into labor. I went out on mat leave and when I came back I got 2 major promotions with 12 months. It can be done.

    21. 33. Might have had my son a couple years earlier, if MIL hadn’t nagged us so much. The more she did, the more I kept wanting to put off having kids.

    22. I was 39 and live in the South. Believe it or not, many of my similarly-age friends had or adopted kids around the same time, so even though I’m an older mom, I had lots of similarly-aged peers.

  7. I posted this question as a response on the morning thread and got one response (thank you!), but I’m looking for ideas for a side dish for a 4th of July picnic this weekend. Any great suggestions? I’m serving burgers and watermelon and am hoping for a side dish that’s modern (read, not out of a 1960s cookbook) and somewhat universally appealing. Honestly, I want to impress my guests a bit, so a few steps to the recipe is totally fine.

    1. Panzanella with stone fruit.

      Also nytimes.com/cooking and look at their 4th of July sides suggestions. Ditto martha stewart and serious eats.

    2. I always want potato salad with that kind of meal. But also I had a great grilled fresh green bean and peaches side with burgers recently and loved that! I also love to have burgers with a roasted potatoes and green beans with walnuts and blue cheese, all doused in a bit of vinaigrette.

    4. I would check out the smitten kitchen blog in the summer section or salads section. This was a big hit at one of my parties: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2012/05/tzatziki-potato-salad/

      These two recipes are are also jumping out at me
      http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2013/05/lobster-and-potato-salad/
      http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2007/03/recipe-liberation-day/

      I really like this orzo salad recipe, it is simple but usually a hit. I increase the arugula and lemon.
      http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/giada-de-laurentiis/tri-colore-orzo-recipe.html

      fancy baked mac and cheese? spanish grilled/charred corn on the cob with cotija cheese, butter, and lime?

    5. I had a potato salad the other day that was made with roasted potatoes instead of boiled. I was an interesting twist on it.

    6. I like baked beans (homemade with bacon, not just opening a can) or baked macaroni and cheese (again homemade).

      As for appetizers, I will give my same suggestions from the other day:
      Chips and guacamole
      Caprese skewers
      goat cheese log with jam (blueberry or fig) and crackers
      fruit salsa with cinnamon ships

    7. Tomato mozarella salad is always a hit — get buffalo mozarella the kind that comes in a big fist sized ball in water and really yummy tomatoes.

      Or cut up tomatoes, fresh corn, basil and same buffalo mozarella.

      Grilled asparagus

      artichokes

      I think simple but high quality is often more delicious and impressive than food that is too much work.

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