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Suit of the Week: Red Fleece

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Red Fleece Women's Navy SuitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. I've been obsessed with the navy/pink combo since I saw a small story in Lucky about how it was the color scheme for a special edition “SC bag” (not available for sale online at all – Sofia Coppola wanted a hybrid of several other Vuitton bags so she went to the Paris store with a drawing and placed a custom order; the company liked the bag so much they now sell it as the “SC” bag). Anyhoo: there's a lot to like about this suit: the masculine shape and color mixed with the delightfully feminine grosgrain ribbon details, the modern yet preppy shape, the vaguely affordable pricetag. Mysteriously, the jacket and bottoms are different fabrics – the jacket is a woven cotton (and lined in a “contrasting pinstripe”), while both the skirt and pants are wool (and apparently unlined). The jacket (Red Fleece Three-Button Jacket) is $248, the pants (Red Fleece Straight Leg Pinstripe Trousers) are $128,  and the skirt (Red Fleece A-Line Button Skirt) is $148.
Red Fleece Three-Button Jacket Red Fleece Straight Leg Pinstripe Trousers Red Fleece A-Line Button Skirt
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

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191 Comments

  1. Love the jacket, don’t love the length of the pants…

    I’m going to Park City this long weekend with bf and another couple. I’m super excited! Last time I did mainly Sundance stuff but this time we’re focused more on skiing. I’ve been skiing a few times before, and the last time I went (also Park City) I took a lesson and was feeling fairly confident on the “advanced bunny hill”. I’d love to make it onto the green runs this time.
    Do you ladies have any practical tips for beginner skiers? My main issue is that I’m not overly adventurous and am afraid I’ll break something/run into someone/get run over by another beginner.

    Also, the temperatures look to be in the low-mid 30s. How many layers should I wear? I’m thinking a sports bra, synthetic half-zip, synthetic long underwear, ski pants, plus fleece and shell, but will I be too warm? Maybe I should skip the fleece layer. Also, will I be able to wear my ski headband under the helmet? Didn’t wear one last time but definitely want to take that precaution this weekend.

    1. First – Do a lesson. Learning is the ONLY thing that will make you feel more comfortable, and in my experience the well-trained skier friends/boyfriends are not the best teachers. I always come out of my lesson happier and it is always worth the (admittedly lots) of money. I have only done lessons at Canyons, which is the resort I much prefer out of the three closest ones. Deer Valley is too difficult for you at this level.

      Don’t wear anything under the helmet, it needs to be snug to be functional and ski helmets are built to keep you warm.

      I think in mid-30s with sun, you can do without the fleece but it depends on the weight of your shell. If you’re learning/pushing yourself, you’ll get warm fast!

      HAVE FUN! I just got back from my ski days and want to go back very badly, haha.

      1. I should have mentioned, but unfortunately won’t be taking a lesson this time. It’s just too expensive, especially once you get past the “first time” lesson, which I don’t want to repeat as I think I covered the basics last time. I will probably spend most of the time skiing with my friend who is also a beginner, and will encourage my bf and hers, who are both experienced, to go off on their own.

        1. I still take the first time lessons even though I’ve been skiing for 30+ years. Whenever I have a break of a couple years, I find that the beginner’s lesson puts me in the right frame of mind.

      2. I agree with SMSS – I’ve gone with newbie skiers and told them it’s really easy just follow me and they end up not having a really great time, plus I end up not going on as challenging runs as I would have liked. So it depends on the people you are going with – how patient they are and good at explaining. I know how to do it, but can’t really explain it. Even though it’s expensive, I would recommend a half day lesson then meeting up with your group later. Especially as it sounds like you are a bit timid when it comes to skiing.

        1. Yep– don’t listen to the friends who tell you, hey lessons are for chumps, I’ll just take you to the top and you’ll get it in no time. It’s all fun and games until you tear your ACL or break your leg. (not that anyone said this to you, it’s just something I hear a lot)

    2. My biggest tip is to wear a helmet- sounds like you’ve got that covered. Second, practice falling (do they teach that in lessons?). Once you realize you can always fall safely, it makes falling (and going out of control) a lot less scary.

      My favorite tip–which I learned at age 7– was to “point your belly button where you want to go and the rest of your body will follow.” Works like a charm!

      Finally, if you’ve in the not-quite-ready-for-green trails level of skill, I have to tell you to just do it– green trails are suuuuuper easy as long as you don’t push yourself. They’re just like the bunny hills, but longer. Go slow, take your time, and ignore those 4 year old kids zooming by you looking like they’re ready to go pro :)

      1. and re: weather, you won’t get any additional warmth out of the ski headband. If it’s really cold, you want full face coverage. if it’s in the 30s, I’d ski in a sports bra, underarmour fleece layer, and lightweight ski jacket on top, and probably just ski pants on the bottom. If it’s super windy I’d add long underwear under the ski pants. But I’m a fairly aggressive skiier and tend to get a little sweaty.

        Oh, and stay hydrated!

    3. So fun! So jealous!

      THe only other advice I have to give you, is that regardless of the number of times you fall, you will be ridiculously sore the next several days. Unless you are currently participating in some pretty intense endurance/core/muscle work, you will use muscles that you had no idea existed.

      You may want to try to ski without poles, too–you will be a far better skier if you don’t use them and use your balance instead. It is tricky at the beginning, but it is also one less thing to worry about.

      Also, for what it’s worth, skis have come a long way since I was on them–parabolic (shaped) skis were just coming out, and apparently, they make it MUCH easier to ski–but if that’s what you learned on, then you have nothing to compare.

      Good luck & have fun!

    4. So jealous! Take it with a grain of salt as a former ski instructor, but I would definitely second the recommendations to take a lesson again (even a couple hours or a half day) to get your confidence back and to get manageable things to work on during the day (and make sure you can stop confidently, the most important thing).

      Bend your knees, lean in the direction you want to go (NOT backward). To avoid others, don’t ski accross the entire hill before turning. At times you are skiing with the bf and his frind, you can always ask them to ski behind you to “spot” you, so they can call out to you if some crazy beginner is barreling toward you.

      Remember that you can always stash extra layers. And if you get to hot, unzip your shell partway, and don’t forget to open the zip vents of your shell (under the arms) and the vents in your helmet to cool down. The extremities are the most important thing–make sure boots and gloves are able to dry overnight, and only wear thin socks. And your ski headband might be a bit thick under your helmet. Why do you want to use it? Usually helmets will keep you pretty warm.

      And good idea to have bf and his friend go off on their own sometimes. I’ve seen way to many relationships end while one partner tries to teach the other to ski :)

      Have fun! Did I mention I’m jealous?

      1. And please ignore the typos. Apparently I got a little to excited to type properly.

    5. Agree with the others that you should really take a half-day lesson if you can at all swing it. It will make the rest of your time skiing so much more enjoyable, both for you and the people you are skiing with.

      Definitely wear a helmet. You *can* wear a thin headband under a helmet, but in my experience it is totally unecessary because the helmets are quite warm. I usually just bring one of those really thin ones that goes over your ears in my jacket pocket.

      Your layers sound like a lot for low- to mid-30s, but it kind of depends on what you mean by “shell.” If you mean an actual winter jacket meant for snowsports, then I would skip the fleece, but if it is something lighter, you may want the fleece. I would probably err on the side of wearing too much rather than too little, because if you get too hot you can always remove a layer and put it into a rental locker for the rest of the day, whereas if you don’t bring enough layers, then you are just stuck being cold for the rest of the day, which sucks.

      1. I’ve seen several comments about a helmet and am scratching my head. Maybe it’s just been quite a few years since I have skiied, but people really wear helmets? Honestly, before today I had never heard of such a thing, or seen it, except perhaps in the Olympics when they do ski jumping.

        Is this normal and expected now? If so, when did it come about, and why? (I have been skiing perhaps a dozen times in my life, but it’s been about that many years since I have been).

        1. It’s very common now. Even over the past five years or so I’ve seen the majority switch from non-wearers to helmet-wearers. I don’t know that there’s any specific reason why, except the “why not protect your head from that tree” reason.

        2. In my neck of the woods (PNW) everyone wears helmets, mainly because there’s been plenty of people who died from running into things or falling while skiing.

        3. H*ll yes I wear a helmet when I snowboard. I think it came about because people realized that protection against a traumatic brain injury = a good idea.

          1. Michael Schumacher (Formula One Racing Driver) is currently in a medically induced coma in France following head injuries due to a skiing fall. The medics are quite clear that his ski helmet saved his life.

            As a (former) ski instructor I hated the idea of a helmet, but I got one a few trips ago and I love it and wouldn’t ski without it.

        4. Yep, most people wear helmets now to protect their head and brain from injuries. It just takes one bad fall out on the slopes! I teach skiing and rarely see people without a helmet!

        5. There was a recent NYT article that suggested helmets are useful for preventing more minor injuries like scalp lacerations, but that they aren’t going to prevent a traumatic brain injury. I’ll try to post the link below.

        6. In Tahoe it’s more common than it used to be, but I’d say still less than half. For the record, I myself have never skied with one on.

        7. I’ve skied in a helmet since 2004…if you ski trees or on the East Coast, where falling can be very, very hard (ice!), it’s essential. My helmet has taken branch thwackings that my noggin did not.

          Plus, it’s much warmer and you don’t have the goggle/hat slip up/push-down all-day tug. Highly recommend helmets–they’re warm and comfy. And frankly, they don’t encourage me to take risks I wouldn’t otherwise–they’re not enabling–but I do feel slightly safer with one on. Let’s not forget that Natasha whomever died from a fall on a bunny slope that experts stated would have been less severe (e.g. cushioned) by a helmet.

          Spend the $50 to buy one or (semi-gross, as they get really sweaty) rent one. Your noggin is worth it.

        8. Way more common, especially among people who ski regularly. For safety, but honestly, I think it’s way more comfortable in cold weather, especially if there is precipitation. It keeps you drier. And I find it also helps avoid the foggy goggles issue, especially in warmer skiing climates like Tahoe. And they are also awesome because when walking around a lodge or something, your goggles stay on your helmet and you can put your gloves in the helmet and carry it like a basket, rather than risking dropping one of many items of clothing. I love my helmet!

        9. I’m the anonymous from 5:24. Helmets are far, far, more common now than they used to be, at least at the places I have been to in Colorado and Utah. I grew up skiing in the late 80s and 90s, and helmets were pretty much unheard of then. I then moved away and took a long haitus from skiing, and when I returned to it a few years ago, I found that nearly everyone now wears helmets. A change for the better, I think. I am a pretty conservative and slow skier, but not everyone around me is.

    6. For mid-30’s (provided it’s not to windy) I think you would be OK with sports bra/thing long sleeves/ski jacket on top. The fleece might be a little much. I always wear thin leggings under my ski pants, but that’s personal preferance.

      I only ski a couple of times a year, and stick mainly to green circles with an occassion beginner type blue square. My biggest recommendation would be to have a ski buddy who’s at your level. And don’t feel bad about going slow down the slopes, as long as you’re aware of your surroundings. Have fun!

  2. The navy and pink thing was big in the early 80s preppie years. (Preppie, of course, was code for “it’s so unstylish that it’s stylish”). I can’t help thinking it looks dated, but maybe it’s so dated that it’s back again. Even so, to me it’s a grandma color combination.

    2. I agree. I remember that Diane Keetan wore thing’s like this in the Woody Allen movie that I saw when I was in the lecture hall in college. That is where a guyfirst put his hand’s where they did NOT belong. Since I was onley a freshman and he was a senior, I did NOT know the right thing to do, so I did NOT immediately get up and walk away, so he got away with alot more then guys would NOW with me.

      But anyway, the manageing partner wants me to bring Mason on my cleint meeting with Roberta tomorrow. He was pretty good in court. We had 50 file’s and he was abel to pull out the right file’s for me when I needed them to argue to the judge.

      Willem says he knows a great coat on sale at Macy’s, but I have to find my own coat’s. Why would he think he knows what I should be weareing? He said his sister paid 950 croners for a coat I can get for $85. I do not know if that mean’s anything to the hive, but it does NOT mean anything to me. FOOEY!

      Myrna has been goeing out with the same guy now for a month–mabye it is geting serius b/c she was NOT availeable to watch TV with me last nite b/c HE was over. DOUBEL FOOEY!

  3. I clicked over from the previous post actually expecting a suit made of red fleece – like a track suit cut like a real suit. :p

    1. Agreed. I don’t understand why they would make the pieces from different materials. Also, it’s a bit too cutesy for me together.

  5. Another “what do you do” question:
    I totally lost my house keys the other night while running errands. (had a new clip with multiple key rings on it, and the one with my house keys fell off) I did finally find them, but I had a horrible night of panicking, driving around town multiple times, and then finally breaking into my own apartment. I am kind of proud I managed to break in, but I really don’t want to deal with that again.

    I’m thinking I should have a key somewhere i can access it to get in my house in case I lose them again. What do you do to avoid being locked out of your house? Does anyone do the ‘hide a key’ somewhere thing?

    Sidebar: TBK, is it wrong that I kind of want you to be on bed rest forever and never go back to work, because I am learning so much from your amazing advice on so many different topics lately?? I don’t *really* want that to happen, but a tiny bit. ;o) Those little boys are so lucky to have such a smart and awesome mom!

    1. My hide-a-key is in my desk drawer. I can get into my office 24/7 so, worst-case scenario, I head over to work to get my extras.

        1. Is your car registration also there? Not the smartest/safest location given that your address is on the reg.

          1. No, my car registration is digital now – and my backup paper copy is taped to the back of my driver’s license.

      2. yeah, i wish i could do the work thing, but i can’t get into my office 24/7, if i have lost my whole keyring, i can’t get into my office either. Although, I could still do it, it would have worked in this situation since just the house keys fell off. But I feel like I need another back up in addition. Basically I think I’m going to make like 5bajillion copies and introduce tons of redundancy to the system!!

    2. I don’t have a hidden key, but have thought of putting one in my garage, which is detached and has a keycode entry. Or giving one to my aunt and uncle who live a few blocks away. I like SMSS’ idea too.

      1. That’s what people have done since locks were invented – give a key to a neighbor. Extra nice that yours are family members too.

      1. Just make sure you don’t have credit cards, library card, business card, or any other identifiable info then. The last thing you want is someone to steal your wallet with the key and be able to figure out where you live.

        1. Which they will most certainly be able to do because, presumably, your driver’s license is in your wallet.

      2. I’d suggest you not keep a house key in your wallet with your ID that has your home address on it. If you lose your wallet, the last thing you’re going to feel like doing is rushing to get your locks changed.

          1. Hmmm – do you have a work address then? In MN at least, you are required to have your current address on your driver’s license. I know there are some people (judges, law enforcement) who use a work address to protect their home address from being readily accessible. But I don’t know how available that is to the general public.

          2. I didn’t put my unit number on my license a few years ago–just the street address, which was the same as hundreds of other units. So if a person found my keys, they would know which building go to into (they might’ve known anyway by the distinctive fob) but not which unit. (Note–it was not the type of complex where there is a directory). The street address they could’ve obtained anyway from MyLife or one of the other million aggregator sites.

            I tried to do that again last year when I changed addresses and the Post Office couldn’t figure out into which box to deliver my license because my apartment hadn’t put my name on the inside of the mailbox yet. But it’s definitely possible to obtain a license without the specific unit number.

    4. I do the same thing SMSS does, and I also have a set of keys with a friend who lives nearby.

    5. In one of my apartment buildings, my roommates and I left an extra key in between the pane and the screen of a window in the common stairwell. I have also left a key underneath a rock in an overgrown area behind the garages.

      Now that I have a house, our back door has one of those knobs that unlocks with a code. It is very reassuring to know that I can ALWAYS get into my house.

      1. We have one of those code locks too, although I have been cautioned to still consider hiding a key in case the lock battery dies.
        We had a lockbox that had a dial combination on it. We kept it squirreled away in our grill drawers.

        1. Good point about the battery!

          This site is a useful source for information about anything.

    6. I have an extra set in the house, but I also gave my neighbors and a couple of close friends in my neighborhood have sets too & I have their keys. Works great to have a few options in case of a lockout.

      1. Yes, that is a good system. I wish I had friends who lived nearby, but I don’t have many friends these days ;o\.. And the other neighbors in my (small) building are all weird and anti-social. But maybe I should try to meet some more neighbors on my block.

        1. You live in SF right? So random, but when I lived in Russian Hill the corner grocery owners kept keys for a bunch of people in the neighborhood. Might be something to look into?

          1. I kinda love this idea. It’s like a small community feel in an urban centre!

          2. TO Lawyer – it was really awesome & completely had that feeling. One of many of my favorite things about living here. I wasn’t the only person I knew with that kind of set up.

          3. awww that is so cute!! I totally love it. I’m in Oakland, though, and no corner store nearby, the only place close is 711. :o(

    7. We keep a key in our chicken coop and one with our neighbor.

      I didn’t know there was such a thing as a door knob that unlocks with a code. I really want one!

      1. There’s also a key box that unlocks with a code and holds an extra key. May be cheaper than buying a whole new lock.

        2. That’s true, but I like the idea of it being key-less because there’s no key to return. Nothing like getting to the spare key stash only to find there are no spare keys inside!

      2. I just love that you have a chicken coop. I just processed a special exception for a family to keep chickens in a residential neighborhood. Passed by council unanimously.

        1. We love it, too. It really does make you an egg snob, and they take care of a good amount of kitchen scraps.

          Plus, it gives a handy place to hide a key! lol.

          1. Your house will be safe from me, I’m scared of chickens (as well as turkeys and geese).

    8. I got my mother a combo box that is specifically built to hold keys. So long as you remember the code you can’t be locked out and no one else can get to the key. It is also useful to let out of town houseguests in if you cannot be home when they arrive.

      1. I was going to recommend something like this. If you’re in an apartment with limited options of where to attach the lockbox other than hanging it on the doorknob, I’ve seen neighbors attach it to the door knocker.

      2. holy sh— This is genius, how did I not think of this??? I have stayed at airbnbs and sublets that have used these so many times, why on earth did it not occur to me? gah! ordering from Amazon right now!

        Why I LOVE this place!! you all are so much smarter and I have learned so much about how to be an adult and live smarter not harder! ;o) Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!

      3. So interesting–the unit across the hall from me has had one of those for a few months now and because the residents also seem to change often, I thought perhaps the landlord was using it as a short-term furnished rental and didn’t want to have to rekey, so this was a sort of separate lock that was easier to reprogram. Your post made me realize its probably a lockbox either for housekeeping or their small children. I wish I’d done this instead of making key copies for a dog walking company that ended up working out horribly and never returned my keys or my prepaid but unused fees.

    10. I miss having a Ford with the keypad on the door so that you could always get into it. I used to keep a spare car and house key in the console buried under a massive stack of CDs. I’d also intentionally lock my keys in the car on long runs when I didn’t want the bulky keychain.

        1. OK, not such a long story. What happened was my dad was very enamored of the Sable/Taurus models and he kept buying new ones for himself and passing the used ones down to my husband and me. They had some mechanical headaches, but that keyless entry was awesome.

    11. You can buy a lockbox at Home Depot or Lowe’s that has a combination dial on it (like realtors used to use before they went hi-tech). I have one hanging on my back door with a spare key inside.

      1. nope. incorrect. I am not too nice, I am just exactly the appropriate amount of nice in proportion to how smartypants you are! ;o)

  6. Does anyone use Ally Bank? Are you happy with it? This is for a secondary account (joint) so I am not worried about day to day use, but still not sure if a totally online bank is a good idea.

    1. I haven’t use Ally, but haven’t had any problems doing online only with ING (now Cap1).

      1. Same with ING and TIAA-Cref. The only issue is that it takes a few days for funds to transfer between those and my checking account at a brick and mortar bank.

    2. I just switched over in September and I’ve been really happy with it. Good interest rates, good customer service, and they reimburse ATM fees at any ATM. No complaints!

    3. I switched my bank account to Ally in June or so, based on the recommendation of readers here, and have loved it. I have a savings and a checking account there. The only problem I can think of is if you deposit sums of cash regularly; I don’t know if you can do that with Ally. If that’s not an issue for you, then I wholeheartedly recommend. And no, I do not work for Ally; I was just thrilled to get rid of my old bank.

      2. +1

        I love that I can deposit checks directly via my smart phone, without having to go through a brick-and-mortar bank. Only downside is they sometimes put a hold on the funds.

    4. You didn’t quite ask, but I use Schwab’s online bank (technically a checking account linked to my brokerage, but I don’t trade with them, other than my retirement accts). It’s totally free, the customer service is AMAZING, checks are free, no ATM fees GLOBALLY (they fully reimburse). Highly recommend Schwab. Oh, and they send me an email to confirm when a check deposit goes through (so when I add funds via mail, I know exactly when they are available).

      1. Thanks! Can you open an account without opening a brokerage or retirement account?

  7. I’ve joined the workout at lunch crowd, but now that I’m hauling so much stuff to the gym, I’m realizing I need a much bigger gym tote. Anyone have one they love or a brand to suggest? Thanks in advance!

    2. good for you! how did you get into it? I blocked time on my calendar to go work out at lunch but of course stuff always comes up…how do you make yourself do it/not guilt yourself out of it??

    3. I’m eager to hear how you do the whole workout-get sweaty-shower and go back to work thing.

      I have such frightful hair that if I showered, I’d have to blow it dry. It’s not long enough for a nice twist or bun–it’s barely long enough for a pony

      1. Seriously! I feel like Houdini trying to get it all in and be clean when I return. It’s a work in progress. I try and get everything organized in my bag (thus the need for more space!) before I leave the office, so when I get to the gym, I can get changed quickly. My ipod, hair tie backs, etc. all lined up and ready to roll. If I do cardio, I do a quick shower – brought my pouf to use shower gel so that’s extra fast. I’m lucky that I don’t sweat a ton, so I skip the hair washing. Lots of girls use the dry shampoo it seems. If I do weights/pilates, I skip the full shower and just do a washup at the sink, fresh deodorant.

        As for leaving during the day to go to the gym — I just think to myself, the time is going to pass no matter what and the work will be here. Will I feel better with myself if I just take this time out and do a workout? The answer is usually yes. Hope this helps! Unfortunately, it’s not easy … too bad two hour lunches are frowned upon…

        Thanks for the bag suggestion!

  8. Purses! What does everyone carry on the weekends? Mostly, I’ll admit, I’m too lazy to switch bags, so I just carry my work purse around on the weekends and look very mismatched, but I’m realizing all of my weekend clothes work around browns and warm tones, and all of my work clothes tend to revolve around black. Other than a cute little purple crossbody, and evening clutches, I don’t have any basic weekend purses. Suggestions in the under $100, won’t fall apart after a season category?

    1. Not sure how you feel about Coach Outlet, but they now are online and I’ve really liked my purses purchased from them. They usually are in the $100-$125 area.

      1. What is the URL for the outlet? I looked on the regular Coach website for a link but couldn’t find one, and couldn’t find it by Googling. Thank you very much!

    2. I’m going to be in the minority for this one–I don’t carry a fancy purse daily. I have an XS Timbuk2 messenger bag that is my daily purse. I wear it as a cross-body, I have had it for YEARS, and it has held up incredibly well for getting daily abuse. It’s super casual, but I think that you can get a custom one with more fancy fabrics or even leather. I love mine because it is the ballistic nylon with reflective woven in–so super visible at night.

      It is very versatile, and big enough for a wallet, regular sized ipad, phone, sunglasses, keys, folded paperwork (it won’t fit a letter-size file, though) and a host of other things. I can stuff diapers in it, an umbrella, a pair of flats. I like that the shoulder strap is adjustable on the go, I often cinch it way up to keep it closer to the small of my back when I’m walking/standing with it for a long time (shopping!)

      1. I also carry a timbuk2 bag daily, but it’s usually a tote bag, not a messenger unless i need to carry my laptop or something rigid like files. I have a few fancy purses that I bought when I cared more, but they have just been sitting in my closet for a year.

      2. I live my tiny Stone Mountain purse. I get compliments from random people about it. It is my 7-day a week purse. The only time I use a different purse if for evening and it is even smaller.

    3. How big do you want it to be?
      I’ve been really into bags with longer straps lately, though I don’t always wear them cross-body, it’s nice to be hands free. Maybe something like this: http://tinyurl.com/mh7hlbd

    4. Depends on where I’m going. Sometimes if I’m just meeting up with friends during the day (brunch), I carry my work bag. If I’m going to a few daytime events during the weekend, I’ll usually switch (I’m currently using the MBMJ Lil Utika) which I find to be a good size without being massive. If I’m heading out at night, I usually use a smaller clutch or I have a MBMJ little purse with a chain strap (I think it’s called the Karlie?) which I like because if I’m at a bar or something, I don’t have to worry about holding onto it.

    6. I carry a JPK medium-sized bucket bag on the weekends. It’s a taupey-gray, so it matches basically everything. I have other, similar-sized bags, but this one has become my go-to because it’s neutral, big enough to carry my junk without looking enormous, the nylon keeps it in “casual” territory, but the hardware’s nice enough that I don’t feel shlubby when I carry it. (I’ll follow with the link.) They retail for like $75, but you can usually find them on the flash sale sites for more like $40 (I might’ve even paid $35 for mine, I know I got it on ideeli).

    7. I love my weekend cross body. I highly recommend finding a cross-body so you can do or carry whatever else on your adventures without needing hands for your bag.

  9. Budget is done, everything but one monthly expense paid this month–and we have the funds to pay it. Next Wednesday, we make changes to our direct deposit, and starting Feb 1, we will cycle over our direct draft to auto-pay the bills. There are still 2 minor expenses left (repay my aunt for our share of my mother’s christmas present + my sister’s birthday present) that we will be able to take care of after next week when we get paid again.

    Our tax return will be significant, so that is going to more than cover our backlog of mortgage payments. We still need to discuss what to do with the balance of the return (I vote save/cushion, and I suspect that DH is on the same page, rather than even make purchases that *should* be made like the tires for the car–not an immediate need, but looming out there) after paying the mortgage up to date.

    Budget shows that between the two of us, we should have $500 left over every 2 weeks. I have made sure over and over to factor in all the oddball payments that happen on off-times (cooks illustrated subscription, car insurance, etc) but I still feel as though I am missing something, even though we combed through both of our statements. We over-estimated all of our recurring expenses, and even gave ourselves what will probably be a more-than-generous grocery allotment, so I feel like we are in good shape.

    In any case, thank you all for your advice, I am happy to report that we both feel like a huge weight has been lifted, and that we’re both eager to tackle this.

    Financial savvy-ism for 2014!

    1. Awesome! I’d definitely recommend that you both track all of your spending for awhile. It took me several months to get my budgeted amounts in the correct range because there always seems to be small purchases (usually cash) that I’d forgotten about that add up and so my budgeted amounts were too low. Keep at it! It’s great to hear the progress you’ve made!

    2. Yay! Glad you are looking at statements and finding everything. Have you signed up for online statements and/or Mint.com? I find Mint really helpful for catching transactions that I don’t think about (bank charges, membership fees, etc.) and would otherwise miss.

      1. I meant to ask – does the budget that shows $500 extra every two weeks include any extra for items like the tires? Things will always break or have to be replaced – you don’t know exactly which items or how much they’ll cost, but you should still budget an amount for these.

        1. That $500 doesn’t include “emergency” items, nor do we have a line-item for that. Our budget at this point is only the things that are discrete, recurring costs. We know that we will be building an emergency fund and adding in line-items for things like home maintenance/car repair.

          Husband signed up with mint, I have yet to do it, but I track all of my spending manually with a phone app–I found that manually entering my expenditures helped me to solidify what and where I was spending.

          I really cannot thank you guys enough. How liberating this is–and the removal of such a stressor in our lives.

          1. Just pointing out that replacing broken items is not an emergency. Normal maintenance, such as needing new tires, is predictable and SHOULD be anticipated and tracked. You don’t need to plan for every appliance to break, but oil changes, brakes, furnace tuneups, etc. (and gifts for known events like holidays and birthdays, when necessary) are predictable budget items. These are not emergencies.

          2. Truth. We will get there for sure, and we both want to have fluid funds to pay for those items.

            With that said, what does the Hive budget for home repair/auto maintenance? We have reliable cars, and DH can do a lot of work himself (he replaced the brakes & exhaust on the CRV last month). We have an older home, but ongoing maintenance-wise, the only old appliance is our water heater. We have a bunch of projects that we want to get done, but they’re going to require significant money–roof replacement; new vinyl; resurfacing the driveway; new windows. Ultimately, a new kitchen, but that’s on the dream list, rather than the reality list. I don’t think we’re living on borrowed time with any of those other things, everything is still in good working order, so I would be interested to see what kind of money you all think we should be budgeting for these things. $2500/year? We live in a low COL area, and we do have a lot of connections in the community as far as things like contractors/mechanics (we know a guy who does towing & auto work, an electrical contractor, a plumber, etc…)

            What do you use your true emergency funds for?

          3. I rent so I don’t budget for home repairs, but I do budget about $50/month for car maintenance/repairs. I have a reliable car that I drive maybe 100 miles/month and I could easily do without it since I typically rely on public transit and SO has a car. That being said, I feel like it would be wise to up it $100/month since repairs are often BIG.

          4. “What do you use your true emergency funds for?”

            Things that are (1) truly unexpected (meaning any attempt to build them into the budget would be sheer speculation as to timing and dollar amount) and (2) for which Pinterest has no boards :) (meaning I don’t want them)

            Examples:

            Non-routine car expenses (oil changes and tires don’t count – transmission dropping out does). Non-routine medical expenses for humans or pets (regular checkups/co-pays/meds don’t count). Travel for unplanned events. Job loss.

          5. I don’t know how much to budget, but put the new windows and new siding on the “dream” list too. I think the payoff in energy savings for new windows is many, many years.

            True emergency funds are for things like large, unexpected, unreimbursed medical expenses; job loss; paying for something like an unexpected funeral; and so on. Things that are REAL emergencies. New windows are not to be paid for with emergency-fund money.

          6. I also think putting a lot of money into home improvements that are not necessary maintenance is a big mistake. In Friday’s post, you said that you have no wish to sell your house. Updated things like new siding are nice, but ultimately, if you’re not planning to sell for many years, you aren’t really interested in what these are doing to the home’s resale value. (If you put in new windows now and you don’t sell for 10-20 years, they won’t be new anymore and any premium a buyer would pay would be based on a highly depreciated value).

            Figure out what maintenance is necessary (i.e., underground drainage so your basement doesn’t flood every time it rains) vs. cosmetic (new windows – yes I know they are also energy efficient, but if you’re sitting by a drafty window you can always put on a sweatshirt).

            In my many years of homeownership, I have found that the most important items to spend money on are the ones no one sees. It’s a shame, but that’s the way it is.

          8. Just to clarify – I think it’s fine to spend as much as you want on home improvements if you have plenty of money, including being on track for adequate retirement savings and future college tuitions, if needed.

            UT if you are in a tight budget situation, or if you have tended to overspend in the past, it’s not a good idea.

          9. I have an emergency fund that sits untouched for solely job loss. It’s more or less built up to where it needs to be (6 months expenses) and is in a brokerage account.

            I then also have a savings account that I put $1000 in each month to account for “unexpected” expenses. That account is supposed to cover car and home repairs. It also is for gifts throughout the year for weddings or baby showers, charitable donations or auction purchases (I have to go to a lot of these through work), and other unplanned-for splurges.

            If I’m planning a specific house project then I save separately by cutting down monthly expenses in one area (usually food or shopping) and transferring what’s left over each month into a specific savings account.

            But! There are a number of different ways to tackle this stuff. I would only really advocate for a completely separate emergency fund that is for the true emergency, which is covering your living expenses if you lose a job.

          10. It’s me, the car searcher! What are your reliable cars? CRV is already on my list!

          11. We have an older CRV (I can’t remember the year, 2002 maybe–maybe even older). It’s a beater, and DH uses it for hunting and such. We bought it from friends.

            Our other car–my daily driver is a 2005 Honda Element. Bought it off Craigslist with 60k miles on it for $6000. Probably the best decision we’ve ever made. We bought it in 2008, and it has yet to reach 90k miles. Never had a problem with it. Ever. It’s got the AWD, and we’ve taken it out joyriding in the snow on unplowed forest service roads. Never got stuck. Love that car. Hate that Honda discontinued it.

          12. Let me put it this way: I have used my emergency fund exactly twice in the 15 years since I instituted it: Once to bail my best friend out of jail, and once to finance my separation and divorce. I would also consider a job loss an “emergency.”

            Everything else is a “normal but irregular” expense and I save for those expenses every month. I posted about the recently on another thread, but I call those accounts my “Freedom Accounts” (because they keep me free from debt) and I have more than a dozen of them including car maintenance, job expenses, vacation, medical expenses, and so on.

            We can talk about this when you call me. ;)

    4. Wow, Great work!! I am so impressed! Plus, your posting inspired me to finally get my sh1t together and start tracking my expenses again, hopefully to get a handle on the number of overdraft fees I pay each month ;oP

      Yay, for you, Hive Five!!

      1. It is really helpful. We started tracking at the beginning of the year. I’m the spreadsheet geek so I had fun with it but I think the other half is finding it helpful as well.

    5. If the every six month car insurance payments throw you off, put it on once a month auto pay. State Farm gives you a discount for that.

      1. That’s interesting, because I get the AllState discount for the every six months, and it’s more expensive to do monthly.

          1. My car insurance renews last month and I asked if I could pay it once a year instead of the two lump sum payments. They gave me a further discount and then knocked another 5% if I put it on auto-pay.

            My car insurance has never exceeded $1200 per year so I have set up a $100/month auto debit from my checking account to my short term savings where I set up the auto-pay. Any earmarked money left over goes into my emergency fund account (a brokerage account that is easy to deposit into, difficult to withdraw from just in case temptation strikes.)

    6. This is great, guys!

      I also have DH on board for a weekly “meeting” to check in with Mint to see how we’re doing. Thanks for all the advice re: emergency vs. maintenance funds.

      I had mentioned windows, vinyl and the roof simply because they’re original to the house, built in 1977. Some of the windows are inoperable (but not unsafe), but it’s really not a big deal, as you guys pointed out too. We do expect this to be pretty much our “forever” home–at least till we’re empty-nesters, so the resale value isn’t of concern to us. We would like to update the look of the house, as it is very dated, and the roof/vinyl would do just that. But, again, it’s not a necessity–it is definitely a “want”

      1. I think until you feel more financially secure you should really think about what are your “needs” and what are your “wants.” It can suck to realize a lot of stuff you want is not a need, but it sucks even worse to lose your house. I haven’t been replying a lot but I’ve seen you consistently mentioning “wants” in your postings. This isn’t an easy thing to do, but is something that makes a big difference.

          1. One more thought – if you are looking at home improvements that your neighbors/friends/relatives are making, or seeing them go on nice vacations or buying new cars – stop looking. You don’t know their situation, you don’t know how much they’re earning, you don’t know if they’re in debt or not. I know it’s hard to see other people having nicer and nicer things, but that has nothing to do with what you can afford.

      2. And just an FYI, we have an antique home and updated the windows after we moved in because they were literally the old wavy glass original to the house. Gorgeous, but about as efficient as having saran wrap over our windows. It cost us about $38k for very good, but not top of the line Anderson custom windows (again, old house, pre-fab windows weren’t an option). I’m really glad we did it but oh man did it stink to have to save and pay for.

        1. Out of curiosity, did you do that because of the aesthetic value, or for energy efficiency? I have a similar home and have read a number of articles that say if you’re just looking to save on energy costs, it’s not worth it to replace windows in old houses, because in order to have the windows match the rest of the house you need to shell out a ton of money.

          1. We did it for energy costs as well as the condition of the windows. Those old wavy glass single paned windows crack if you look at them wrong, had no screens (again, custom and very large), plus they couldn’t open/close properly any longer. The drafts they let in were insane and we’re in the NE. Cranking the heat to 72 downstairs in 20 degree weather barely got our house to 65.
            We would have left the windows if they were 1970s style vinyl but ours were so bad we just couldn’t go another winter (or withstand another nor’easter or bad storm without having them crack). The replacement was pricey cause they had to cut the new windows to size exactly to keep the old frames/trim around the windows. We also had a ton of windows in our home – 35 or so? and went for the slightly better screens. If it helps, our heating and cooling bills have gone down at least $100 every month we’ve had them, plus we’re just so much more comfortable in our home now. It was pricey, but worth it for us.

          2. Thanks!! That’s very helpful. I really really want to replace our windows, so stories like this are good for my motivation.

      3. For windows, it all depends on your home and how “custom” you need to go. Our house was built in 1978 and had original windows. They were very drafty – we put the window kits over them in the winter, had cel/insulated blinds, flannel-lined curtains and still had drafts. We replaced all of our windows except the big living room picture window and both exterior doors for about $8k. We went with the same sliders in white vinyl, didn’t replace any exterior trim. We used Anderson Windows, took the mid-high quality windows. This was in 2005 I think. I just ran the numbers at the end of the year (gas heat, so I could calculate what our usage would likely have been, estimated the electric). We paid for those windows in energy savings in 7 years. If you aren’t doing expensive, custom windows, the pay-off can be quicker.

  10. I received an offer from another firm (in CA!) and currently work in NYC. The conflicts process has taken forever (I think they started on 12/10 and are still working…). I’m getting a bit anxious (I’ve known about the offer since 11/21). Does anyone have experience with this? TIA.

    1. The background check at my company can take several months to complete (in house not law firm).

    2. I’ve never had a conflicts check or a pre-employment background check take longer than 2 weeks. I have worked at 3 mega Big Law firms and one smaller firm (300+ attorneys). Typically, I get a preliminary clearance in 48 hours and full clearance with necessary waivers within the two weeks. This timeline is also true for partner level candidates with very long/complex client/matter lists. For the pre-employment background checks conducted by an external vendor like Kroll, we typically get results in 3-5 business days for laterals with less than five years of experience and within 5-7 business days for those with more experience. This firm’s conflicts department is either woefully understaffed or completely inept. I hope it’s not a sign of broader problems – understaffing, bad back office, etc. What does their recruiter tell you? Good luck.

    3. I think this is odd…I’ve worked at four biglaw firms, transactional always, so I have a ton of deals and matters from each (5-6 pages sometimes), and conflicts have never taken more than 2 weeks or so. The worst thing that can happen is they discover a conflict and issue an ethical wall or tech block to keep you out of the related files for that matter, and that can usually be done in a matter of days, unless they are short Conflicts people.

      I would absolutely reconnect with your recruiter so that you can better understand timing or find out if your offer has gone cold. You don’t want to miss the “beginning of year” shuffle window if your offer has gone cold.

      On an unrelated note, since I have worked in both CA and NY, please refrain from saying, “ZOMG, we would never do that this way at my old firm” once you get to CA. Depending on your practice, CA, particularly the Valley, is far more relaxed with respect to signature requirements/closings, client contact, and more, so…just know that you may be moving down a level of formality in terms of your practice and go with the flow. You don’t want to be the uptight NY girl. Ask me how I know :)

  11. Ugg. Having one of those days where a million little not horrible, but definitely annoying and less pleasant things are happening. Adding all up to putting me in a bad mood.

    On the positive side, though, dh paid off his last student loan today, making us officially debt free (we rent so no mortgage). Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be outweighing all the bad things on my mind. :(

    1. Sorry about your bad day. Major congratulations on being debt free though!!!

    2. Celebrate! When we finally got debt-free (before we bought a house), we used the amount of that last student loan payment the next month to go out to dinner to celebrate. Spending $250 on dinner for just the two of us felt really luxurious and fun, and motivated us to keep going on our financial habits.

      Of course, the following month we were right back to saving that money for a down payment on our house. But we STILL talk about that wonderful dinner.

  12. Is it normal/common to feel exceptionally sad about your live-in relationship all of a sudden? Nothing changed with either of us. Do you ever feel like this? Should I chalk it up to hormones or something more serious?

    1. I think it is fairly normal, especially if it is relatively new. You could be mourning the loss of your previous lifestyle. I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I feel that way about my kids sometimes. I love them unconditionally, but sometimes I miss my life before them, and that makes me sad.

    2. What specifically are you sad about? That you’re in one or that it’s not going as you’d like?

      1. Just a general sadness that I guess encompasses both. But I don’t think it’s going bad or anything. I just feel this urge to get out. But I don’t want to do that on a whim.

    3. I feel that way sometimes, although it manifests in a sudden urge to have a fling. When I consider the fling, and then consider my life with someone else, I am 100% positive I want to be with my live-in boyfriend, 100% certain I want to someday get married and have kids with him, but that doesn’t make me want the excitement of someone new any less.

      I think it comes down to this: potential relationships (and flings) are perfect. They don’t have annoying habits or gross friends or jobs that demand they come in on the weekend and stay late during the week. Potential relationships are everything you imagine them to be, amazing LGPs, romance, with all the shine of something undiscovered, whereas real people have problems, and they’re annoying, and imperfect. But they ARE real, and I believe my real relationship is better than any other relationship, so I stay. I hope I’m making the right decision, too.

  13. End-of-day scream of anxiety. Tomorrow is bonus day for everyone at my new company, and the first time in my career I’ve ever been eligible for a bonus. I have no idea what to expect and from what I’ve heard/read, it could be anything from nothing to 5% to 50% of my salary. I’m so financially unstable, that even a thousand dollars would be more or less life-changing. Tips for getting through the next twenty-four hours, from you veteran career ladies? Is it common for everyone in the whole company to get this news at once? Fwiw, I work in finance.

    1. Yes, it is very common for a whole company to find out at once. The method of delivering the information will differ by company (i.e. Letter with the number versus one – on – one conversation). Also, to clarify, by “at once” I mean on the same day. Not in a group meeting or such. Good luck! Try not to be anxious. Comp day comes once a year! Some years it’s good, some years it is bad. That’s just how it goes in finance!

  14. I need planning help. I am fifteen weeks pregnant and my clothes are now tight. They are wearable, but tight and not the most comfortable. I definitely have a pooch, but it just looks like I ate too much over the holidays. I am desperately trying to hide my pregnancy at work, and have relied heavily on advice from here to do so. I will try the bella band once my clothes no longer button/zip, but then I will have to go to maternity clothes.

    So, I have a few questions.

    1. I have a big two day arbitration in two weeks for which I must wear a full suit (normally my office is business casual. I wear suits or separates every day, but i’ve stuck with blazers the past month). my two remaining “fitting” suits may not work in two weeks. how quickly do you grow from 15 to 17 weeks? does it start accelerating from here? I don’t know whehther my bella band will work (as I’ve never worn one), but should I buy a “fat suit” to wear instead? I can’t wear a maternity suit – they are so obviously maternity. But have people found success with a fat suit?

    2. how long does the bella band work? when should I start ordering maternity clothes? I was hoping to make it twenty weeks before I told, but I have no idea if that is possible. I feel like I have really grown in the past week.

    any advice on when people began wearing maternity clothes, how far in advance people purchased them, how long a bella band will work would be much appreciated.

    1. I purchased a suit a size (maybe 2?) up from my regular size and wore that for a couple of court hearings I had while in that timeframe where I didn’t want to tell. I looked like I had gained weight, but I don’t think I looked obviously pregnant.

      It is hard to say on the other things, I think it all just depends.

    2. OMG, I was showing so much at 12 weeks that I had to tell (several people flat out asked me). I’m petite, which I thought would help, but it did NOT. 20 weeks is pretty aggressive, depending on how you’re carrying.

      I personally hated the bella band but make sure to get the official one and not the Target knock-off; the real bella band has a sticky rubberized part that stays put so much better. I wore it for two weeks and then caved and bought maternity clothes. I found that even the real one rolled and slid and made going to the bathroom a difficult process (which was a problem because I was always going to the bathroom).

      When you say the maternity suits are “obviously” maternity, what do you mean? I got a suit from a friend (mimi maternity maybe?) that had these hidden elastic waist panels so it had a real button fly and the buttons on the jacket were a bit higher to accommodate a bump. It didn’t fit after my second trimester (sad!) , but nobody would have guessed that it was maternity. You could also look into buying a dress and jacket combo so you don’t have to deal with waistbands at all.

      Also, I found that wearing “fat” clothes just made me look large and feel bad about myself. Maternity clothes had the right rise and the right shoulder stance, but more room for my belly, so I felt more put together. Invest in some good work maternity clothes when you do buy; the cheap ones will pill and shrink and fade ASAP.

      And congratulations!

      1. Anon,

        I WISH I could find a maternity suit like the one you described. All the ones I’ve seen are very obviously designed to hide a (larger than my) pregnant belly.

        I’ve bought the bella band and should probably practice wearing it at home after that story! how mortifying!

        agreed on fat clothes, but I feel I have little choice . . . thankfully, I can still wear all my jackets, so I think I might just buy a skirt or two and a pair of patns for the next few weeks and then after.

      2. “Invest in some good work maternity clothes” – what are these? I have tried everything I’ve found at preg anon’s blog (workthatbump.com) and recommended in posts here, and it’s all thin cheap stretchy jersey crap, even at high price points. There is no situation in which I will EVER wear a jersey dress to work – I would rather take the status hit of working from home for the whole pregnancy than appear that unprofessional.

        (Examples of things I have tried that have all turned out to be crap: Ingrid & Isabel, Seraphine, Isabella Oliver. I have not found a single item (and I’ve tried many) from these or any other line that I would consider even vaugely work-appropriate, other than jackets/blazers, which obviously aren’t going to do it by themelves.)

        1. I’ve accepted that most maternity dresses and tops are thin/tight jersey material that I wouldn’t usually wear to work. I think I’ve had good success with dresses by putting a silk slip underneath, adding a blazer, and good jewelry or a nice scarf. For shirts, I have found pairing them with slacks and a blazer/cardigan + jewelry/scarf is enough to cover the material. I also always wear layers – slips, camis, tanks, tights – often several at once. I’ve probably spent more on maternity undergarments than anything else this pregnancy, but I think it makes a big difference. I’ve also accepted (after lots of compliments on my attire throughout this pregnancy) that most people are not actually looking at me as closely as I am.

        2. Have you tried Rosie Pope? Her dress shirts were pretty nice quality poplin. Other than that, yeah, the “best” quality (ha!) maternity pants I found were actually from the gap and Ann Taylor. Sigh.

    3. My unhelpful input is that everybody is different, but at some point between 15 and 20 weeks you might “pop” overnight. So something that fits Friday may not fit by Monday of the following week.

      For the arbitration, you might get away with a stretchy dress + unbuttoned jacket. A skirt 1-2 sizes up could also work, especially with the Bella Band. Word of warning, I once wore a slightly-too-small skirt with the bella band, but when the Band rode up, it was clear that my skirt was unzipped in back. Luckily my assistant pointed it out before anyone else did.

      For general input, for both of my pregnancies, I started wearing some maternity clothes at 15 weeks and was completely into maternity clothes by 20. However, when you’re not showing very much, maternity clothes really do make you look more obviously pregnant.

      Good luck!

      1. I definitely need a real suit for the arbitration. My firm is a stickler for “separates” during “formal” hearings, etc.

        your insight was very helpful. That tells me I should buy some maternity clothes NOW because one day I may just awaken with nothing to wear entirely!

        1. Yes – it sucks to realize you have nothing to wear even though last week you were fine.

          Another unfortunate thing about maternity wear is it’s mostly online, so it’s better to order before you need it. Gap, Loft, Asos, Isabella Oliver, & Seraphina are good online sources.

          Also – check out preg anon’s Work That Bump blog – she gives great ideas for work maternity wear.

          1. She looks great and I like the outfits she posts, but almost none of them are actually work-appropriate for anything but a casual office.

      2. I never had this issue with the BellaBand. I always wear it folded over the top edge of the skirt/pants, to basically convert the item to elastic-waist.

    4. I’m impressed you’ve made it to 15 wks in your regular clothes. You’re right that your growth will accelerate as you move forward. By the end, I swear I could watch myself (err, baby I guess) grow. While obviously it varies from person to person, I expect you’ll notice more change between 15-17 wks than 13-15 wks.

      A fat suit will likely get you a couple of weeks more. If you plan to return to work after baby, it would be a good purchase because it will bridge you from post-partum until you fit into your regular clothes again. I’m a strong proponent of “Fourth Trimester” wardrobe.

      I agree with Anon that the issue with fat clothing instead of maternity is that they really are not flattering. Even when you know why you’re wearing them, it can be hard to see yourself look like that every day. I successfully wore maternity clothing before announcing, and I never had anyone notice (at the time or say later). Just be selective on what you wear.

      I never used a bella band, but a friend did with her professional clothing until the end of her pregnancy. She has a job where she doesn’t wear suits often enough to want to buy more for the pregnancy, but when she needs a suit she really needs a suit. She had an average-to-large belly, so I think it would work for most women. She said it wasn’t particularly comfortable at the end, but I’d expect you to be able to get to 20 wks at least. She also found it helpful post-baby.

      At the very least, do yourself a favor and start wearing maternity clothes away from the office. Seriously. So much more comfortable. With my first, I started ~12 weeks, and even earlier with my second.

      1. Also – if you are to the point where your regular clothes are now tight, your coworkers probably already know.

        Signed, someone who has never been taken by surprise when a co-worker announced a pregnancy (but always feigned it)

        1. Anon,

          Normally I would agree, but the fact that everyone in the office knows that I can’t have kids (married 11 years, etc.) gives me some saving grace here . . . and my weight has long fluctuated. i really geuinely just look fat (oh joy?) not pregnant . . .

      2. hoola Hoopa,

        don’t be TOO impressed. I’ve already gained 8 pounds (which my doctor says is too much at this point), but my clothes were a little loose due to me training for a marathon, so I had some breathing room!

        and I LOVE the fourth-trimester thought. That makes me think I really can buy a skirt and pants and maybe one suit to help me after I return to work. now it isn’t just wasted money! thanks.

        1. I have 6 kids and I always gained 12-15 pounds in the first trimester alone. My SIL tried to turn this into a compliment (“you’re so tiny that you just need to gain right away!”), but I know it was from eating too much.

          1. that’s my issue, too, Tesyaa! I am ravenously hungry all the time. And if I am not eating, I feel sick.
            and of course, I’m not hungry for veggies . . . but for bread.

    5. I wouldn’t buy a maternity suit yet because your 17 week belly probably won’t be big enough to fill it out and you will look silly. The bella band should still cover you if you want to wear your current suits, presuming your upper body hasn’t grown that much (i.e. your jacket still fits) and you are OK with not buttoning up the jacket.

      My other piece of advice is to buy maternity clothing and start wearing it, even if it’s just on weekends. You only get to wear the stuff for a few months so you may as well get your use out of them.

      1. Posey, you raise an excellent point. My jeans fit, but they are by no means comfortable. it might be nice to buy a pair of maternity jeans now!

    6. I started to need maternity clothes around 14 weeks. I clearly recall trying on a pair of pants on a Friday that I had worn on Monday to find that I could not button them anymore. I started with two bella bands (target knockoff) – one black and one tan. I started out first with maternity shirts. I found that dark colors on top made my belly less apparent, especially under jackets. When I wear white or cream tops I just look huge.

      These days I am in maternity pants for the most part although I do wear a few of my suit pants with the bella band if I need to wear a full suit. I am still wearing my suit jackets. I guess it looks a little funny with my belly poking out, but they still fit well in the shoulders, arms, and back. I have a very small maternity wardrobe for budget reasons and it gets a bit repetitive. My most-worn items have been two pairs of work pants, one black and one gray, with the full panel maternity top. They are so much more comfortable than wearing regular pants with the belly band. Both were hand-me-downs (from Motherhood Maternity, I believe). Also, have you checked out PregAnon’s blog? I found it to be helpful! It is w w w dot workthatbump dot com.

      1. I have spent the past two weeks scouring the blog. I think I have some good ideas, but I am reluctant to begin shopping . . . ugh. it’s just so overpriced!

        1. Have you asked friends/family for clothing? I pawned my maternity clothes off on anyone who’d take them, and gave some away to another ‘rette reader for the cost of shipping. I was just.so.sick of those clothes by the end.

    7. There are good suggestions above. I agree you should buy some maternity clothes now because a lot of women really do “pop” overnight.

      I bought a few long shells for work (non-maternity) in a size up, with the idea that I’d wear them early in pregnancy and then after my maternity leave when I return to work. I wore them to court with my normal suit jacket paired with a nearly-matching-but-not-exact maternity pant or skirt. (I agree with you the maternity suit options are less than ideal.) I was able to wear those non-maternity shirts until about 32 weeks! I was so happy they lasted so long, but now I feel like I have nothing to wear. So my suggestion would be to buy a few non-maternity items in a size or two up, but don’t think of those as replacements for real maternity clothes because you will outgrow them at some point!

      Also: I love the maternity tanks from Old Navy – they are cheap, soft, and long, and I wear them under everything. I feel like they give me an extra layer of protection so that I don’t inadvertently show anyone my belly.

      My three favorite pairs of maternity work pants have been: Loft bi-stretch straight leg pant, JCrew Minnie (in a size up than my pregnancy size just to be sure they don’t look too much like leggings), and Old Navy ankle ponte pant. None have full panel. I find a lot of full panels to be itchy and too tight for me, even if the rest of the pant fits well, but YMMV.

    8. I am 19 weeks now. I did not visibly show at all through 14 weeks, was “too many donuts” showing from 15-17, and have been somewhere between “food baby” and “actual baby” showing for about 1 or 2 weeks now.

      I LOVE the BellaBand and have been using it since 12 weeks or so.

      I would suggest buying pants/a skirt maybe 2 sizes up from your regular size to go with a suit jacket you already have, if possible. You’ll need them post-pregnancy for some amount of time anyway.

  15. Sorry if this was already mentioned this morning but ideeli has Sorels on their list of sales. Looks like it ends tomorrow.

  16. Ok so I am pretty sure I know the answer to this but- I had two interviews for a state government job who told me they wanted the candidate selected by December (second interview was first week in Dec). First week of January they told me they expect to make a decision soon and that all candidates will be contacted. So 1) I almost definately didnt get this job right? and 2) I definately cannot ask for any more updates right? It would involve a cross country move, my husband is currently out of work and has put off accepting a job in that area because I wanted to see if I got this one, and our life would just be so much better if I got this. Its so hard to wait.

    1. 1) Not necessarily, they could just be moving slowly! Not unusual for government.
      2) If you last spoke with them just last week, I think you would need to wait until at least next week to check back in.

      Good luck and keep applying for other things in the meantime, but don’t assume you’re out of the running yet :)

    2. Wait until the end of the month before you give up. So many people are only just now really moving past the holiday hangover and getting back into work.

  17. What are y’alls thoughts about the Elie Tahari Camellia Double Knit Dress at 6pm dot com? I just got it and can’t decide if the nice features (work-appropriate length on me, lined, bra keeps) outweigh the exposed zipper…

    1. Yikes, lovely from the front but that zipper is pretty bad. The beauty of dresses with sleeves should be that you don’t have to wear a cardi or blazer over it, but then you can’t hide the zipper. Still, if the fit was perfect I think I would live with the zipper, but if it’s just close (for me usually means pulls across the bust, doesn’t lie smooth around the armhole, or too big at the waist) I’d return.

  18. What are y’alls thoughts about the Elie Tahari Camellia Double Knit Dress at 6pm dot com? I just got it and can’t decide if the nice features (work-appropriate length on me, lined, br@ keeps) outweigh the exposed zipper…

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