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Thursday’s TPS Report: Fraille Moto Jacket

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MaxStudio.com FRAILLE MOTO JACKETOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I always like a moto jacket — the zip, the fitted look, the inevitable black — it can all be very hip. This one is a cotton/silk blend, though — different from the usual leather ones I've seen — and I think it would be great on both a workday and a weekend. At work I'd wear it (probably 1/3 or 1/2 zipped) with a pair of loose trousers, or perhaps an A-lined skirt or dress, or perhaps even a pencil skirt (although that, for some reason, feels very Palin-esque). Either way, lovely jacket, and not a bad sale: was $240, now $98 at MaxStudio.com FRAILLE MOTO JACKET Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)

Sales of note for 3/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off: Free People, AllSaints, AG, and more
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off suiting + 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – $39+ dresses & jumpsuits + up to 50% off everything else
  • J.Crew – 25% off select linen & cashmere + up to 50% off select styles + extra 40% off sale
  • J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family Sale: Extra 15% off your purchase + extra 50% off clearance + 50-60% off spring faves
  • M.M.LaFleur – Flash Sale: Get the Ultimate Jardigan for $198 on sale; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Buy 1 get 1 50% off everything, includes markdowns

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

167 Comments

  1. A quick off-topic note to the poster yesterday who was looking for a real estate firm in Savannah…I assumed you meant a law firm and gave you a reference to a firm. It occurred to me only later that you might have meant a real estate agent. I don’t have someone specific to recommend, but Cora Bett Thomas is a local real estate agency with an excellent reputation in Savannah. Hope that is helpful.

    1. Thanks, AtlantaAttorney! You are right, I was looking for a broker, but when I realized your rec was for a law firm, I also realized I would probably need a local attorney, too. So thanks for both recs. It is very thoughtful of you to remember and respond this way :)

    1. One of the support staff at my office mentioned that sale to me (apparently she works there part-time)! Is it on-line and in-store? I do have a BR gift card I’ve been meaning to use…
      Also, has anyone had any experience with BR shoes? One of the other new attorneys is wearing a FABULOUS pair of suede wedges she says are from BR. I’ve never tried them for shoes, but now my curiousity has been piqued.

      1. I have all but given up on BR in the past year due to inconsistent sizing and quality — with the exception of their shoes, which I adore. I have about 4 pairs of BR pumps, which I find to be TTS (maybe a teensy bit on the large side, if you’re between sizes), extremely well padded, and seem to be holding up well after a solid year of abuse. I can never catch their boots in my size, but a friend of mine swears by them. No experience with their wedges.

        1. Agree 100%. The shoes and bags @ BR are both surprisingly well made.

          I have noticed this with other store brands, too. It’s very strange that while brands known for their shoes & purses have been, IMO, going down in quality, brands not known for these items have been really stepping up their game.

          Aside from BR, I am consistently impressed with Talbots accessories, and some (though not all) of JCrew’s selection. I have also gotten 3 super fabulous pairs of sandals at H&M over the last few summers for under $100 total — though admittedly their general selection is not that great & quite often very sloppy looking.

          1. Yes! I’ve found myself owning, and loving, multiple pairs of boots from J. Crew. I am very hard on my shoes, but they are holding up well. I guess their downward spiral in quality has not yet encompassed shoes? (Though the prices I’ve paid certainly reflect the difference…)

      2. It is online and in store, but only after 5pm. I have a pair of olive green suede BR pumps with a wooden platform and heel… they are the most beautiful (and well made) shoes ever!

    2. Its very summery and clearly cotton sateen looking in person – I would wear it April – September probably, at most.

      I also thought the fabric was nicely heavy for a cotton/modal blend, but I also found it to be very stretchy, and it doesn’t bounce back. Pants that were comfortably loose at the beginning of the day (i.e., not skintight) were sliding off of the waist by the end. So wear with a belt if you do decide to purchase.

    3. I have last season’s version of this suit and I’m not impressed. I found the fabric wrinkles very easily, and concur with nonA that the suit stretches out and loses its shape after a bit of wear.

      1. This. I really loved it when I first got it, but the pants do stretch and sag a bit, and now I have relegated it to events where I will mostly be standing.

      1. I do not need new shoes but I don’t know if I can resist – those look like a great basic pair of pumps!

    5. I just bought this suit in the fossil — they seemed to run a little small and I got a size up in jacket/pants/skirt then I normally do. I like the single button of the jacket. The pants are cuffed, but an acceptable amount of cuffage. I got it over president day weekend and got 30% off, so total for the 3 pieces was under $250.

  3. This kind of looks like a futuristic workout jacket to me for some reason. I can’t quite put my finger on what looks off to me.

    I’ve absolutely loved everything else that’s been posted recently, though (minus the pleats in yesterday’s suit pants)!

      1. I have been loving the recently featured items too, but have to agree I am not feeling this jacket at all. I actually tend to think of jackets like this as being the opposite of hip; rather as a sort female equivalent of an aging rocker uniform (I am thinking of you, Bon Jovi). Also, I just have a hard time seeing zippered jackets work in the office, and they tend to look funny if left unzipped and I like to have the option of wearing something both open & closed, if possible.

    2. I think this looks like something the ladies who live on the compound on BigLove would wear if it was pastel. As it’s black I guess it’s for that badass, polygomist wife.

    3. I’m not liking this one either. I think the combination of the long zipper-pull pieces and the details at the shoulders is what bothers me. It seems 1/2 workout wear and 1/2 feminine/structured.

    1. That’s a lovely blouse! I really like the “silver blue” color, although it looks more lavender to me.

      I’ve never seen Fair Indigo before. How do their sizes run? Quality of construction?

      1. Sizing depends on the item–they are pretty good about telling you whether you should size up and there are usually lots of reviews.

        I’ve been very impressed with quality for the items I’ve purchased–everything they sell is made fair-trade and they are very involved in the factories that produce their products, so i feel very good about buying their stuff.

        1. Thank you very much for this PSA. I just placed an order and made a donation to a great cause all in one stop.

          I snagged a couple of the Pima cotton instead of the silk shirts. (I am avoiding toxic dry cleaning.)

  6. I bought a sweater from BR and it’s pilling after two wears. Would they take it back or should I just chalk it up as a loss?

    1. I would call the store and ask to speak to a manager. I have never tried this with BR before, but it can’t hurt to try. If you paid full price, def. mention it, too.

      1. I had problems with a BR skirt (the hem came apart) with less than one season of minimal use. They repaired it, but it took some arguing.

        1. Last year the hem came apart on my new BR dress after only one wearing (actually, I think it was *during* the course of the first wearing). I was pretty annoyed, to say the least. I would have called them on it except that there is no BR in my city, so I ended up fixing it myself.

          Hasn’t stopped me from shopping there, though – BR is the only place I can buy pants that fit me properly. Darn those Martin fit pants!

    2. According to BR’s website:
      “You can return or exchange any item that’s in its original condition (unwashed and unworn) or defective, unless it was purchased for final sale, with the exception of Athleta styles which can be returned or exchanged at any time with no questions asked.”

      So technically, no. But it can’t hurt to ask anyway.

      1. You mean technically yes. It says “defective” right there in the sentence you quoted.

        1. I worked at Banana Republic in high school and college. We refunded a guy for some shoes that he claimed were “uncomfortable” after wearing them for awhile. This blew my mind at the time. Almost all of my shoes were uncomfortable after wearing them for awhile, other than sneaks or ballet flats or something.

          Since then, my eyes have opened a bit. I still think that return is pretty remarkable, though.

  7. I am inspired by the recent threads about traveling alone. Then this morning I had an email from JetBlue with three-night vacation packages starting at $249. It’s fate, right?

    Unfortunately, the JetBlue crazy-price deals are for flying out of JFK or Boston. (http://tinyurl.com/646judm for those of you who live in those cities — destinations are tropical and wonderful looking) For those of us not in NYC or Boston, is there a website where you can enter your city of origin and it will tell you what cheap vacation/flight options are upcoming (if I’m completely flexible) out of your city? I thought I remembered being able to do this in college, but I’ll be d*mned if I can find such an option now.

    1. Is your airport a hub for any airlines? Those tend to have the best deals for your city – check their websites and subscribe to their email lists.

      Also look at aggregator sites like travelzoo, etc. and see what prices you can find off of Expedia and Orbitz. If you are willing to take some risks with flight times, you can also find great deals on Hotwire or Priceline.

    2. Kayak has a feature that will send you travel deals from your airport of choice. Budget Travel also has a Real Deals section that has deals for a variety of locations.

      1. Yup – Kayak. Kayak and Sidestep are the same thing – they search multiple airlines. I almost always use Sidestep and then the cheapest is usually Orbitz, where I end up buying. But I highly endorse Kayak/Sidestep.

      1. I was about to recommend this one. My brother and I have both used it before. They have some great deals.

    1. Oh man. That site is awesome. I’m already fantasizing the mini-vacation I’m going to take when I get my first bonus (my firm does smaller, quarterly bonuses) in about 6 months.

  10. The mannequin’s shoulders look just like mine – broad, straight, can look too angular (which is the case here) with certain shoulder seams. I would be curious to see how the zipper affects the garment’s drape and flow – I twist and bend a lot over the course of my day, and it doesn’t seem like this jacket would move with me.

    But I love how it LOOKS. Wish it were somewhere I could try on.

  11. Hmm… Here’s an etiquette question inspired by my EXTREMELY LOUD office mates.

    They were supposed to go out for lunch today but the lunch was cancelled. One of the juniors is loudly complaining that she didn’t bring lunch today, and now what’s she supposed to do.

    So I’m wondering: are you obliged to feed people or provide food if lunch is canceled at the last minute?

    1. What do you mean, “you”? She should go out and buy her own lunch, like the rest of us do if we have a cancelled meeting. :) And also, not complain about it! Sheesh.

      1. Really. Even if this was some huge breach of etiquette, the whining is ridiculous. The only people I can think of who justifiably cry to be fed are much younger and have far fewer abilities than your coworker.

    2. What do you mean by they were supposed to go out? As in office pays to take them out to lunch? Then, I think it would be nice for the office to, say, offer to order in for them. Otherwise, and especially if the lunch has simply been postponed, I don’t think it’s required.

      Also, whatever the etiquette is re: providing food, loudly complaining about the lack of it is def. in very poor taste.

    3. I would slip her the number for the local chinese food delivery place.

      I mean, do you work somewhere where you can’t walk or drive to get lunch? I assume the situation is not that she’s trapped at her desk, unable to go get food?

      The short answer is, no, I don’t think you’re obligated. On the other hand, if you have an extra frozen lunch in the freezer, it would be very good karma to offer it to her.

    4. I think we need to know a little more context here. I agree that loud whining is never called for, but to know whether one is obliged to feed someone else they’d said they would feed depends on specific circumstances you haven’t provided. In my office, the answer would be no – we have access to two cafeterias and a number of take out places right downstairs that cater to the corporate lunch crowd, but I could see being in a suburban office where people all bring lunch and eat at their desks where it could in fact be more of an annoyance. Even in my office, this can reflect negatively on the party doing the canceling (again, depending on circumstances), despite readily available alternatives so if you’re the one doing the canceling, you should perhaps keep this in mind and see if there’s something you can do to make it up.

    5. That sounds bizarre. How does she feed herself when there’s not an office lunch? Do you work somewhere that people can’t just step out of the office and go get food somewhere?

    6. More context would be nice, but I don’t think it would change my answer. No one is obligated to “feed” her. I assume that as an adult she can feed herself on days when no office lunch is planned. I assume she can feed herself if she forgets her lunch at home. It shouldn’t be that difficult to slip out for 10 minutes and find yourself some food.

    7. We have a lot of people who carpool or have someone drop them off at work, so I can see the concern if you work in an office with no food whatsoever in walking distance. I know in my office, people are usually more than happy to take orders if they are going to the grocery store or some quick service restaurant.

    8. I can see being upset. I’m on a really tight budget, so I’ve been bringing my lunch to work everyday. The other day I was going to a presentation during lunch that was supposed to have food, so I didn’t bring anything. No food, so I had to go out, which was really annoying because I only had about $10 in fun money left for the week and really wanted to spend it on something else.

      On the other hand, I didn’t whine to anyone about it, and your co-worker is probably not a law student who is trying to save every penny to finance her forthcoming long-term unemployment.

    9. Why would YOU provide her lunch? Isn’t she paid at work? Lunches get cancelled for loads of reasons and people just fend for themselves.

  12. Hi Corporettes – it’s my 23rd birthday today. Since there are so many smart and accomplished women on this site, it’s become my go-to for personal and professional advice. Love this place!

    So, I thought I’d ask , in honor of my birthday, what’s one thing you wish you knew when you were 23?

    1. Happy Birthday! There are many things I wish I knew, but in the Corporette realm — investing in real, classic jewelry is worth it. And buying a piece of jewelry for yourself is *very* empowering.

      And, you’ve probably already picked up on this from the website, but tailors exist and tailoring should be done — I somehow never knew this until about 2 years ago. I only had suits tailored and pants hemmed when necessary. There are so many other things can be done!

    2. Happy Birthday!
      I wish I knew to wear sunscreen more (and I wish I still “knew” to make it more of a daily habit).

      I also wish that I traveled a lot more. There are so many opportunities to do fun stuff at that age, and you don’t really feel like you are running out of time to do anything yet so it’s easy to sort of just lounge around and take it easy. I am approaching 30 now, and while I know it’s not old age, I feel this constant sense of “there’s so much I want to do before I want to settle down to have kids, how the hell am I going to find the time to do it??!”

      Last, but not least, and I think this is true for every age — a lot of what bothers you or seems important will be forgotten or seem silly in 5 years time. I hated going places alone at 23. Now I realize no one cares whether I walk into a bar by myself, and if anything it likely means I’ll meet somone interesting or someone is going to try to buy me a drink ;)

      So enjoy yourself, have a great time, and take good care of your skin.

      1. Agreed 100% AIMS. I’m about to hit 30 and have the same thoughts. Yes to sunscreen – I only wear moisturizers with a minimum of SPF 15 in winter and SPF 30 in summer, and my skin is looking great so far.

        I’d also echo what others are saying – treat yourself as a priority, and don’t waste time with people who treat you poorly. You cannot force a relationship to work on your own – you both need to be committed. Don’t let some guy treat you like crap just because you think you can’t do any better. You can and you will.

        Also in that vein, listen to your gut. I’m gradually realizing that “wisdom” comes in part from stopping to listen to that subtle feeling that something or someone is not a good idea. I may decide to ignore my gut and go for it anyway, but I’m slowly learning to be thoughtful and at least consider why my gut is telling me something.

        Finally, I wish I knew how much easier it would be to get into physical shape and stay that way when starting at 23 then attempt it years later. Take care of your body – make time for balance, strength, and cardio exercise.

        1. Yes re the gut! The gut always knows….The older I get, the more I believe in feminine instinct.

      2. Agree! Take really good care of your skin! I’m almost 26 and already starting to regret some earlier choices…

      3. I second the advice to travel more. To that I would add, if you ever wanted to do something “adventurous” with your career or education – say, work in the middle east, sign up for a corporate training program in Europe through your employer – do it now. By time most of us hit our 30s, life no longer makes space for those kinds of opportunities without some very big, very expensive changes.

    3. Good idea to ask this! There are a million things I wish I had known at 23, and a lot that I still wish I knew now! (I’m 29.)

      If I had to go with one broad theme, I’d say: don’t invest time and energy where you are not appreciated. This goes both for relationships (of any kind) and professional experiences. Whenever I’ve stayed attached to people or jobs that did not value me, it has been endlessly frustrating and hurtful as I’ve tried harder and harder to squeeze blood from the stone. It’s turned me into someone I didn’t want to be. It’s kept me from doing my best, and it’s diminished my self-esteem.

      Obviously you handle a work issue differently from a relationship, but in any situation I really think: you give it a good faith effort, and you do your best, but in the end you have to walk away if your worth is not being recognized. (It’s a skill to know when this point is reached!) Have faith that when you’re able to shine, someone or something better will show up. It always has for me–every single time, even when I most strongly doubted it.

      Happy birthday!

      1. Ha, guess this is a bit more navel-gazing than some of the other responses! I just thought back to where I was at 23 and, yes, I was way overworked in a demeaning job, and dating a guy who was never there for me when I needed him. Both are ancient history now, though, as AIMS says!

      2. I completely agree with this. I spent way too much time and energy trying to forge relationships with people who were never going to be great friends. I wish I would have recognized that sooner instead of feeling bad about it and trying too hard to develop mediocre friendships.

        I had a job I really disliked and should have left sooner than I did. It took me a long time to realize that I defined success much differently than my employer, and ultimately, I believed more strongly in my definition than theirs. It is incredibly empowering to walk away from a job knowing that you stayed true to who you are. Similarly, when you don’t like who you are at work, something–your job, your attitude–needs to change.

        Sometimes, it’s worth it to take the late afternoon flight back at the end of a weekend away. I had really limited vacation time and always wanted to maximize my weekend vacations. However, getting back at 10:30 pm when you have laundry to do and an 8 am start time is not always a great way to get set up for the week. I realized that getting back in the late afternoon made for a much better transition.

        1. “Sometimes, it’s worth it to take the late afternoon flight back at the end of a weekend away.”

          This is great advice. Scrambling to get home and get ready for the week when your plane lands at 11 makes the vacation feel like work. We now schedule our week-long vacations with what we call a “buffer day” in between when we land and when we have to go back to work.

          1. I would recommend you do the last flight back so long as you can. I think I just transitioned to the point where it makes me more stressed to come back to a house without clean laundry and groceries, but so long as you can, take advantage of your vacations, being able to enjoy a longer Sunday brunch before rushing to the airport, one more bloody mary, etc..

    4. Happy Birthday! The thing I wish I did better when I was 23 (I knew the theory, but didn’t really follow up) was that it is so important to be yourself no matter what. Never try to be what anyone else wants you to be, and don’t hang around in relationships where you are not appreciated for yourself. This is actually harder than it sounds because it is so easy to slip into other habits bit by bit, until suddenly you might end up somewhere you never wanted to be.

      That, and new shoes ALWAYS make everything better. :-)

      Have a fabulous birthday and take yourself to the spa!

      1. Wow, I guess I didn’t see Monday’s response before I posted. Guess we’ve both been there – and stronger for it!

    5. That’s a long list. Fashionwise, I’ve learned that quality is more important than quantity. The one exception I make is for going out clothes that will only get a wears.

    6. Happy Birthday!

      Ditto on the sunscreen advice and I’ll add laugh more, frown/squint less. At 35, I don’t mind my laugh lines, but I am not so fond of my forehead lines.

      1. And to add to the skin care advice – wash your face every single night, no matter how tired you are! My mother drilled this into me from the time I was a teenager and I have followed my bedtime routine religiously for about 20 years (EEK! that makes me sound extremely old!). I started the habit with the very basic Clinique 3-step system and then adapted as my skin changed to different products (I currently use Peter Thomas Roth) but it hasn’t changed my regimine of cleanser, toner and moisterizer (with makeup remover and eye cream used as needed). I was always shocked in my 20s by how many friends/roommates went to bed without washing their face!

        Bottom line, I am 35 and am often told I look like I am under 30 – a plus in my social life, sometimes a detriment in my professional life.

    7. I wish I someone had told me that things don’t always go the way you plan them (though I probably would’ve been to hard-headed to listen!). I went into law school (and on my 23rd birthday was just a few months into 1L year) knowing exactly what I was going to be doing and where I was going to be doing it after graduation. Uh yea, thanks to the craptastic economy things haven’t turned out exactly as planned. While I am in the city I hoped to be in, it took 6-ish months of unemployment and taking a job in a field I NEVER thought I would work in. Never even considered it. I’ve been at my new job for about 2 weeks, and you know what? I like it. The people are great and the more I’m learning, the more I’m finding this area of law rather interesting. I guess what I’m saying is be open-minded about your future. It’s great to have plans and dreams – everyone should – but you need to be open to the possibility that things won’t go the way you planned.

      1. This. Every time someone asks me in an interview “where do you see yourself in five years?” I really want to respond “It doesn’t matter, because it’s not where I’ll end up!” When I started high school, I thought I’d be at a small, liberal arts college in the Northeast in five years. When I started college (at my fairly large Southern university), I thought I’d be in med school in five years. When I started law school, I thought I’d be in DC at a firm in five years. Now I’m in New York and have no idea where I’ll be in 5 months, much less 5 years. Life, as it turns out, didn’t like my plans, but that’s ok–just go with it.

      2. Agreed. I took a very indirect path to my current practice – and actually resisted to the point of saying “I will never practice X”. Keep an open mind when it comes to your career path and you could be very surprised by the results.

        1. Agreed 10000%. My current job fell in my lap and I just went with it (requiring a move and somewhat of a lifestyle change), and now I love it and can’t imagine what my life would have been like had I stayed on the path I was on. Throughout my life, the best things that have ever happened to me have been the “randoms” – I’ve learned to listen when my gut tells me that something is right.

    8. I am loving these responses and am so glad I asked this. Keep them coming, please! I’ll be printing this thread out for future reference. :)

    10. Wow, great question. I’m 32 now and I wish someone had told me (though I did a lot of this at the time) that your 20s are the time to take huge risks. Not of the “ride motorcycles without helmets/have unsafe sex” variety! But take the job in another city. Go teach English in Costa Rica. Jump into relationships without reservation–but also know when it’s time to get out of the wrong ones. Devote time to really figuring out what you want from your life and how you want to go about doing it. And give yourself permission to start over and try something new time and time again. Lastly, instill in yourself the confidence to know that it’s never really too late to change things in your life. It will often seem too late and the older you get, the more people around you will tell you that it’s too late or impractical, but it’s your life. Make the most of it. And have as many adventures and heartbreaks as you possibly can in the process.

      And have a happy birthday!

    11. I wish I knew not to be intimidated by networking (and how vital it is to career success). As a first generation college student I was always scared to reach out to people, even people I knew personally and had a great relationship with.

      I wish I knew how to love and accept myself, and take good care of myself. Also, I’ll reiterate the sunscreen and the vacations comments.

      1. I would like to third the “wear sunscreen.” Also, be confident in your evolving self. I changed a LOT in my early 20s, and at first it scared me as I found myself drawn to different types of friends and men, different career choices, and altered relationships with my family members. I found myself resisting those changes and felt alternatively trapped/held back/babyish. I took some deep breaths, did some navelgazing, and went with the changes — and I am so glad I did.

      2. Yes on the networking! I’ve kicked myself a few times over for not staying in better touch with people I interned with/did informational interviews with right out of school. I felt awkward initiating contact, but it only gets harder with time.

    12. Happy birthday!

      When I was 23, I spent far too much time agonizing over how many calories I ate and how much exercise I did, and whether it was enough, and whether I was going to get fat, and whether my tummy was absolutely flat in between my hip bones.

      I thank my 2 kids for helping me not worry about this any more. Now my tummy looks like an elephant’s skin, but my kids make me laugh every day. :)

    13. I wish I had known to have more mentors, and by “more” I mean “any.” I grew up pretty emotionally-deprived (which I see now that I’m older) and became (what I perceived as) emotionally independent as a result. Basically I didn’t think I needed anyone older/wiser/more experienced to help me out.

      It pains me now to look back at myself when I was 23, because that was the year my depression hit full-blown after (what I now know were) small episodes during college. I want to go back in time and be my own big sister and HELP myself, and be the trusted older adult that 23-year-old me didn’t have.

      Sorry for the buzzkill! Happy birthday, and I hope you get to do something fun this weekend!

    14. Happy Birthday! Absolutely agree with all of the previous comments – sunscreen, smart risks, tailoring! I will add something I wish I had realized at 23: don’t spend more than you take in.

      I wish I had been practical enough to realize that I didn’t “need” all those clothes or drinks or dinners out. I spent a lot of years digging myself out of that hole when I finally wised up! Splurges are great, just not every day!

      1. Definitely second the whole not spending more than you make. I wish I started educating myself about more way earlier, but I can always start now.

        Happy Birthday!

        1. Huh, I guess as my sentence stands, it makes sense, but I meant to say “….start educating myself about *money* way earlier….”.

      2. I completely agree with this! I have two credit cards that desperately need to be paid off but I’m unemployed so I can’t do it right now. Avoid overspending!

        Happy birthday!!

    15. I wish I’d been more self-confident at 23. So please know that you’re smart, capable, and will do fine in life. Don’t be afraid to speak up at meetings. Be your own best advocate. Take care of your body and your emotional health. Always be kind to everyone, especially those junior to you professionally.

      Happy birthday!

    16. Happy Birthday! I’m 31. At 23, I was 2 years married, recently graduated undergrad, and working for an insurance company. Now, I’m an attorney (did NOT see that one coming by then) and looking forward to my 10th aniversary in a few months.

      It’s hard to make this specific, but I wish that I had known/understood how to seek out opportunities more and not hold myself back. Best way to explain is to look back at a few regrets:

      1) I was always a top student, but I still, for some reason, never considered being a doctor- I thought that doctors had to be really, really, like outrageously, smart, and I was more like just smart. My experiences at the insurance company taught me that that wasn’t the case (at all!), and that I really liked medicine and had a good head for it. But by that point, it seemed like far too late to turn around and go to med school (I know that it would have been possible, but I wasn’t willing to make the sacrifices that it would have required, either. I had a good life going on, which makes change hard.).

      2) I wish that I had reached out a lot more to people for opportunities- for example, I liked my job at the insurance company OK, but it was borning as hell. I realize that this sounds obnoxious, but I simply wasn’t working with people who had as high of a level of intelligence as I did, and the job that was challenging to them was too easy for me. I left to go to law school, but, now, particularly given how difficult it was to find a job in law (something I didn’t and couldn’t have anticipated at the time- I graduated in 2009), I really, really wish that I had just sat down with higher-ups at the company and told them how I felt, that I could do more and was willing to do whatever it would take to reach some higher levels there. It literally never occured to me to do that, other than just following along the career path that I was offered.

      Similarly, in LS, I pretty much just went to OCIs and expected that would lead to summer jobs. I never realized, until it was too late, that one could, for example, intern for a judge during the summer, or get an unpaid gig with a tiny firm for the experience and connections.

      On a similar note, I went to LS with the full intent of going into med mal defense, and I would still love to do that, but I was never able to land a job in it (see above, re: love of medicine, graduating during the crash). I wish that I had, early in LS or even before, sent out feelers and sat down and had informational interviews with as many people that I could, and learned more about the field and made connections in it. Again, it just never really occurred to me to just call random attorneys and ask them to have coffee with me.

      I don’t know if you’re in law, but I think this stuff is easily applied outside of it. Best of luck to you!

      1. This is so true.
        The younger you are, the more random and fantastic opportunities are there for you. It’s like the whole world is there to be your mentor. You can call up people you admire and ask them for coffee to talk about how they got to where they are. You can take great unpaid internships for school credit. You can get really cheap tickets to the opera.
        And, definitely keep in touch with everyone, mentor/network-wise — it makes life so much easier and more fun.

    17. This is cute! I am also 23 (although I have been for about four months now, so not as exciting). Thanks for posting this question!

    18. This one depends somewhat on your financial situation but I wish someone had told me max out my 401(k) as soon as possible so I’d never miss that money as I got older and my salary increased. Down that road you’ll be very happy you had that money earning interest from such a young age.

      But I also agree with any/all comments about sunscreen, shoes, being yourself, and realizing there is so much that will change/you won’t care about in 5 years!

    19. At around 23, I got the best advice in the world from an amazing mentor. And I still follow it.

      “Any time you’re making a decision between a few options [this was in reference to my career, but applies more broadly], choose the one that is most interesting to you at the time. Don’t stress too much about where it will take you. Because if you do what you love and trust yourself to do it well, doors will open.”

      1. I love this, because it’s the positive side of what I was warning about in my comment–i.e. when you just go through the motions, doing what you think you should, you can’t do your best, and doors don’t open! Or, they do, but they’re the wrong doors! I like this better.

      2. I was reading these comments, thinking, what can I write that hasn’t been written? And this is it. This expresses exactly what I would have written.

        Do something nuts. Whatever. Do whatever is interesting to you. Travel if you want, work on an organic farm, volunteer in a radical bookstore, whatever you want that is wild and you find interesting.

        I traveled a lot in my 20s, living in 6 different states in 4 years. I told myself I wanted to have the craziest stories when I finally settled down. And I do. :)

        Also – two meta-comments. 1. All this “wear sunscreen” stuff reminds me of that Baz Luhrman commencement speech thing that circulated a while ago. But seriously, do wear sunscreen. 2. I thought all these wise corporettes were much older than me. Not so! I’m 30. Yay, gals! This is a great thread.

        1. Oh yes – two more things:

          3. Happy Birthday!

          4. Start saving for retirement now. Start a Roth IRA if your company doesn’t have a 401K. Even if you can’t max it out, put in whatever you can. The money you make in your 20s is worth more to your future self than the money you make later on.

    20. I wish someone had told me not to spend so much of my time and energy on things I “should” do. When I was young I spent so much time focusing on school and work and being responsible that now that I’m older I really regret not doing all the stupid, useless, young-adult things other people did. A lot of the times external circumstances change and “delayed gratification” = no gratification at all. And frankly, all that being responsible has kind of made me a boring adult, so don’t do that.

    21. You have asked a great question and I love reading all of the answers. Here are my thoughts:

      1. I wish I realized at 23 that it was ok (even good) to spend money on myself. I wore a lot of ill fitting clothes at Ross and TJ Maxx and Forever 21. You can certainly get good deals at those places, but you can also get a lot of crappy polyester stuff that looks terrible. It’s a cliche, but think quality, not quantity. Invest in some basic professional items (a good suit, dress pants, white shirt, etc.) so that you don’t have to keep buying them over and over again. You’ll look and feel 100% better about yourself.

      2. Find out what your body shape is and dress your body in a way that flatters you. I only realized in the last year or two that I have a pear shape. I cringe to think of all of the terrible things I wore that did nothing good for my figure. You can check out lots of books at the library on this topic.

      3. Commit to a healthy diet and lifestyle NOW. If you don’t know how to cook, learn now. You don’t have to be Martha Stewart, but you should know how to cook a healthy and yummy meal for you and your loved ones. I like Michael Pollan’s motto – eat food. not too much. mostly plants. Eat whole foods, not processed crap.

      Exercise regularly. Take care of your body and it will take care of you.

      4. Cherish friendships. It becomes harder to meet friends as you get older, so really invest time in the friendships that you have now. Not to say that you can’t or won’t meet amazing people later on in life, but don’t ignore the friends you have now.

      Happy birthday my dear! I hope that you have a wonderful day.

    22. Happy birthday!
      – Start taking good care of your skin now. Sunscreen, sunscreen, sunscreen and get a good, gentle moisturizer for night. No more tanning! I started when I was 24 and now I have very few wrinkles/discoloration. Be scrupulous about your skin care now and you won’t need Botox or chemical peels at 40.

      – Appreciate your body for what it is. As many flaws as you can find with it now, when you are 43 you will look back and think damn, I didn’t appreciate what I had! It’s totally possible to look rockin’ into your 50s nowadays but it takes a lot more effort than looking good at 23, which seems to be pretty effortless (and a lot less expensive).

      – If you have crooked teeth, impacted wisdom teeth, TMJ, or bad teeth, start getting them fixed now. It just gets harder and harder (and exponentially more expensive) to fix things from this point on.

      – If you want to further your education – whether that means getting a master’s or a Ph.D. or whatever – try to do it sooner rather than later. Going back to school when you have a job, a mortgage, a marriage and a kid is way harder than going back when you have a couple of roommates and an old Ford Focus as life overheads. If I could do it over again, I would have gone straight from my bachelor’s into my master’s, and then it would have been done.

      – Don’t necessarily marry the first person who asks you. Don’t necessarily dismiss that person out-of-hand either. A lot of people turn down chances at happiness because they think they will always have better options later; sometimes those “better options” never come.

      – Listen more than you speak, in all situations. If you don’t know something, ask questions. Don’t assume you know it all, but don’t think of yourself as an idiot, either.

      – Think really hard about what you want, and then start making plans to get there. If you change your mind later, it’s OK. But ending up at 35 with no idea who you are or what you want, because you never bothered to think about it, is not a recipe for happiness.

      – When you get a job, dress conservatively. Show up on time every day. Call in sick only when actually sick. Volunteer for projects. Ask for mentoring. Don’t turn down opportunities to grow and learn, even if they are scary. Many great careers are built on these very simple foundations.

      – Above all, be gentle with yourself. It’s OK to make mistakes at work, with romantic partners, friends, family, pets, etc. As my five-year-old says, “Mistakes are learning.” Very few decisions you make at this point are going to have permanent lifelong implications. Seek joy and strive for tranquility. Travel as much as you can and see the world. Be generous with your love and your time and don’t expect immediate payback. Make friends. Choose to be happy. Have a great birthday. :)

    23. At 27, I’m not sure I’m really all that much more qualified than you to give advice…but here goes.

      (1) I’ll be the billionth person to say that you should expect all your relationships to treat you well and with care. Here’s the thing, I was raised by an awesome feminist who taught me that I should NEVER take crap from a guy in relationships, and I never have. All the men I’ve been with have made me really happy. But I used to take more crap in friendships. Now, I try really hard to only be friends with people who want to be friends with me and show it.

      (2) Related to above, I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Not everyone will like me or want to be my friend. I’m okay with that (most of the time) and I try not to force myself on anyone who isn’t interested. (This one is tricky because you can go overboard and end up distancing yourself from people who actually do like you…so clearly I haven’t got it ALL figured out).

      (3) Set yourself a budget now that you can afford and then, if you get raises, save them! You won’t miss the money and then you can save towards big goals…like number (4) on my list…

      (4) TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL… You will never have fewer responsibilities and cares as you do right now. I used almost all my spare money in my early twenties on travel and I’ve never regretted it for a minute. Now, I’ve got a job with billable hours, student loans, and other responsibilities. I never get to go anywhere. :-( But at least I have the memories. ;-) TRAVEL!

    24. I wish I knew NOT to get married until I was at least 30. If he is the one, he should be happy to wait. Instead I let my boyfriend and his well-intentioned family pressure and manipulate me into getting married way before I felt ready.

      Unsurprisingly, I am now divorced, old (30) and unable to trust anyone enough to make another lifetime commitment (marriage offers no guarantees and another divorce would absolutely k!ll me). I’ve done none of the things I wanted to do by this time and feeling that they are now all beyond the realm of possibility.

      1. Obviously, every situation is different, but I definitely don’t think one should consider the 20’s too young to get married. I married at 21 and have never felt the slightest regret. It’s more about the individuals than the age.

      2. When you are 40 or 50, you will look back on yourself at 30 and think, “damnit, I was so young and could have done so much.”

        It may be a bit harder, but it’s really never too late.

        1. This comment reminds me of a George Eliot quote (and our book conversation from a few weekend threads back): “You are never too old to be what you might have been.”

          I guess this doesn’t apply to ballerinas, gymnasts or figure skaters, but I like to think it applies to the rest of us.

      3. Oh my goodness G, this made me so sad! Please don’t give up on your dreams, no matter what they are, just because you’re “old.” I’m almost 32 and I am definitely not old–in fact, I don’t plan on getting “old” ever. Just start where you are. Don’t even consider how things might have been different if only you had or hadn’t done this or that. Just start living the life you want to live NOW.

        I’m still in graduate school and make almost no money, but when a chance to climb Kilimanjaro at a discounted price became available to me, I took it. Never mind that I had to take a full month off in the middle of the semester, and that it cost more than any vacation I’ve ever taken (maybe even more than all those other vacations combined). It was a life-changing experience, and I have no regrets. It’s all too easy to wait for the “perfect” time to go after your dreams. But there’s no such thing! If not now, when? Remember Confucius: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Take your first step today. Nothing is beyond the realm of possibility, especially at age 30!

      4. G: You are not old, and you are not over the hill!

        Yes, you shouldn’t let someone pressure you into a life-changing decision like getting married.

        But you did it, and you were wise and brave enough to get divorced. That’s awesome. There are a ton of women out there who are still stuck in those awful marriages. (And think of the women that have never had an orgasm – horrifying! :) )

        Now is the time to take life by the horns, baby.

        Ok, so maybe you don’t want to invest in men right now. Fine. Sometimes that stuff takes time. But you are not done with your life, and being married isn’t everything. Being single is sooooooo much more fun!

    25. Save up a little quitting money. It’s very comforting to know that you have some money in the bank so you don’t have to be stuck in a job you hate just because you have to pay rent. I had to tough it out in some awful situations in my 20s because I wasn’t saving anything and now that I have many months of pay saved up, I am so much more relaxed at work and little things that happen don’t seem like huge, lifestyle killing emergencies.

    26. Check this out, right on cue. It’s great:

      http://www.cnbc.com/id/41759013

      25 Guys to Avoid on Wall Street

      (This is my way of avoiding the question! FYI, I’d kick my 23-yr old butt and make myself focus and work harder, seek boys who make good boyfriends, and believe in myself.)

    27. Listen to your gut more, even if it conflicts with what you think you “should” be doing.
      At 23 I was totally ok with supporting my artsy live-in boyfriend with a mountain of student loans who wasn’t terribly inclined to find a decent job. All because I thought that I “should” be engaged within a few years, and was terrified of being single at my advanced age ;)
      Needless to say, we broke up, and being single turned out to be the best thing for me at the time.
      Also – if you can possibly afford it, try to live by yourself before you get married. Knowing you can (and have!) supported yourself does wonders for your self-esteem.

      1. Work a few years before going to graduate school – and don’t go to law school! And don’t put off having a baby forever because you will never be ready.

    28. To dress like I was serious about the job, not what I wanted to be doing after work.

  13. How soon I would be unable to drink without getting a hangover. :)

    Or how soon I would lose the ability to stay up late working. I used to pull regular all-nighters to study and work, and I was honestly a very efficient worker when doing so. But now, I will literally fall asleep at my computer and lose the ability to read somewhere around 3:00 — no matter how much I *need* to keep working to timely finish a project, and no matter how much sleep I’ve recently had.

    1. Really! I’m 31, and that has really hit me hard lately (both the drinking and the not able to stay up late anymore). Hubby and I were just discussing a huge drinking adventure that we had many years back, and couldn’t believe how different we are about that now! Funny, I don’t feel older in any real ways but those.

    2. Same! I am 26 and cannot drink like I used to anymore at all… That sounds bad, maybe, but I miss it. Those hangovers just get worse throughout the day now. Ah, to be able to take shots at the bar with no consequence… ;)

  14. Threadjack:
    Has anyone traveled overseas (like to Europe) with their husband, but without their kids? I know the answer is probably yes, but I need some encouragement. :) My husband is being sent to Switzerland this summer for work, for a week, and he wants me to go with him for that week and then stay an additional week to do some traveling in that part of Europe. We have childcare – my parents are always happy to keep our five-year-old for however long – I am just crazy nervous about being gone for that long, and being that far away. But people do this all the time, right?

    1. I don’t have kids, but my parents did this to me when I was 5 and I think it was wonderful for all involved. My parents (I know) had a great time and still talk about their trip to this day. I got to spend a week with my grandparents and loved. every. minute. They spoiled me rotten. I know that doesn’t help with your feelings of nervousness, but please know that your child will not mind and your parents will love the time with them.

    2. I dont have kids but a family member went to Italy with her husband when her baby was barely 18 months. At the time, everyone said she was a terrible mother. As fate would have it, she worked at the World Trade Center & ended up going on her Italian vacation when 9-11 happened. As a result, she was not at the office, in the twin towers, when the planes hit, as she normally would have been. My point is that it can seem frightening to leave your kid behind, but the tragic things we are all afraid of can happen anywhere, at anytime. As long as you are leaving your child in good hands, I would say, go. Like Maddie Ross noted, some of my happiest memories are from when I was left with my grandmother while my parents did their own thing.

      2. I just got tears in my eyes. This is so true. I keep having visions of us being killed in a plane crash or something, and what would our son do? But that could happen going to Phoenix for a long weekend. Thanks for sharing this.

        1. If you are really concerned about a plane crash, you can always go on separate flights. A former co-worker of mine’s parents never flew anywhere together, and if they flew as a family, each parent took one child.

          Not to say you need to do this, but if it will alleviate your fears, it might be worth considering.

          2. I have a colleague who does this and it is something I’m considering for the return flight.

          1. They do – my FIL died in an accident and believe me, there’s nothing like the panicked scramble after a sudden death in the family to make you get all your affairs in order, and keep them that way.

        3. I have an aunt and uncle who, until their children were in college, never flew together without the kids. They traveled without the kids frequently and it was a bit annoying (can’t both get on the cheapest flight, often different departure/arrival times, no company on the plane, etc.) but it was worth it to them. When they went places with the kids, they’d all fly together, figuring if the plane goes down, they’d all go down together. Morbid, probably unnecessary, but it worked for them.

    3. I don’t have kids, but my parents left me with relatives many times, and it was fine. Yeah I guess I was a little homesick the first or second time, but it was fine. And this was in the early 80s when I couldn’t exactly Skype my mom and see her face.

      One thing I would suggest from a legal standpoint is to leave a medical power of attorney for your parents (limited to the dates you’re out of the country, of course). Otherwise, if your child needs medical care, there might be a delay as they try to obtain your consent from a different time zone and continent.

    4. I haven’t (I don’t have kids), but my dad traveled a lot when I was growing up and he sometimes took my mom. There were 4 of us kids, ranging from teen (me) to less than 5, and usually grandma would come down for a visit. (She died a few years ago, but I have fond memories of these visits.) This will sound weird, I’m sure, but once the priest, who was a good family friend, even stayed with us.

      Don’t feel bad- you’re kid will be in capable hands and have a rockin’ good time getting to spend some quality time with the grandparents, they’ll love the chance, and you will get a good opportunity to reconnect with your husband.

    5. My parents went to Europe/Hawaii 3 times while I was in elementary school (during the 80’s) for 1-2 weeks and we were watched by some combination of my grandparents/aunts/uncles/close family friends and it was fine. No emails or anything but they sent postcards and called a couple of times.

      The most traumatic thing that happened is that my dad shaved his beard off while he was in Hawaii and while we were excited to see Mom at the airport, we were a little wary of this dude claiming to be dad :) But we got over it pretty quickly.

    6. My sister did this when my niece was 1.5 (nephew not yet born). They had an amazing time. And it was freeing for them to realize that she would be okay with our parents for a week. Not to mention, my parents loved it and it really helped establish a bond in a way that shorter term baby-sitting can’t.

      1. I should also add that both my sister and myself visited my grandparents who live overseas without our parents (and not together) when we were 6 and 7 respectively. Again, my grandparents are some of the most important people in my life, and I think that establishing that bond early is a big part of why.

      2. Agreed – our grandparents didn’t live close by and it was really good to spend some quality time alone with them when mom and dad weren’t around.

        1. I miss my grandma. She passed away 2 years ago and was one of the most cherished people in my life.

      3. This is good to hear. I did not have a very close relationship with my grandparents because my mom never wanted to leave us with them – they were perfectly fine, stable people but she had some hangups about her upbringing and rarely wanted to spend time with her parents at all. I really do like the idea of my son having a close relationship with my parents as I think that’s very enriching for everyone, all around.

    7. My parents frequently left me with babysitters and relatives – they went out together every Saturday night and left us with a sitter (something that none of my peers with kids seem to do these days); they went on vacation together and left us with friends; we went on vacation as a family and they left us with hotel sitters so they could have some grown-up time. I was always excited about it, even if I missed them. Inter alia, my parents would NEVER have allowed me to make ice cream soup (microwaved chocolate ice cream), but the neighbor lady was all over it .

      You’ll be fine, and they’ll be more than fine. Go have fun!

    8. I sure hope this is OK. I am 30 and considering having children soon–and am hesitant about it for lots of career-related/maybe selfish reasons — and definitely hope that I can go somewhere without my kids some time before they leave for college. What would become of my marriage otherwise?

      1. Go do it! My parents went to Europe multiple times when we were children and left us with grandparents/aunts/uncles. It was great for us since we normally didn’t get to spend much time with extended family. And as an adult now, I can see why they did it. I would have been bored stiff walking around museums/cultural sites. I complained enough about the Met and the MoMa in NYC!

    9. My husband and I just returned from 5 days in Hawaii; we left our 11-month-old twins with my parents. We had a great time, they had a great time. It was hard to leave, but it was a wonderful break from the sleep deprivation and stress. It was good for our marriage.

    10. Wow, I feel like an old poster since I have school-aged children. My advice: do it. I have gone out of the country w/hubby, leaving children in the hands of their grandparents, and felt so connected with e-mails that it didn’t feel any different from being in a trip in the US. Only difference was we didn’t call home, we just communicated by e-mail, but that’s actually better for our kids – often when I am traveling and call, they don’t want to stop what they’re doing to come to the phone. My mother sent an email every morning letting us know how they slept, ate, etc. (all the details I desperately wanted even though they are so minute), and every evening the kids would dictate a note about their day for her to send, so I heard from them twice a day. And the dictated notes were HILARIOUS, I printed them and saved them.
      My one piece of advice – 2 weeks might seem really, really long for you. Would it be possible for you to join your husband part-way through his conference? He could head out, you could spend a couple days overlapping with your parents to be sure they have the routines/food preferences/etc. down, and then join him mid-week for about 9 or 10 days total.

      1. Re: the communication.
        Email sounds like a great option, especially if your kids might be prone to having attachment issues. My parents went on lots of trips throughout my childhood, leaving me with relatives or close friends, and most of the time it was great; I usually had a blast with whoever was taking care of/spoiling me. But I was a VERY clingy toddler, and when I was 3, they went to New England for a long weekend, leaving me with neighbors who had a little girl my age. According to my parents, I cried for the first 2 hours they were gone, then I was fine for the rest of the time. Except when my parents would call. The second I heard their voices, I’d burst into tears and cry for another couple of hours. Out of sight, out of mind, it seems. Just keep in mind that for a shorter trip, it might be harder on both you and the child if you speak to the child frequently.

    11. Go for it! But, as an aside, make sure you leave with plenty of backup childcare options for your primary caregiver and check in frequently. I recently read an article in which the parents left for Europe for two weeks, only to come home to find that their children had been passed from grandparent, to aunt, to a friend of the aunt that the parents did not know. Probably unlikely, but just make sure that you have others “on call” in case something unexpected comes up.

      In a related point, that same article also suggested that the parents plan some “off” time for the grandparents. Even if your parents are young, fit and active, they may not be used to two weeks with children, and may welcome a break in the middle of the two week period.

      1. Emily:

        Was that the Carolyn Hax “Tell Me About It” chat? If I remember correctly, the kid was MUCH younger than five (i.e., not able to articulate wants/needs, etc.) But the suggestion that the sitters/parents/whoever plan in some “respite care” of their own through other relatives, friends of family, etc., is important.

    12. 2 weeks sounds awfully long. I would only go for a week – a 5 yo is still pretty little! I did leave our 2yo at home for a long weekend, but that’s the most traveling we’ve done so far w/o kids (our baby is only 1 now).

      1. We went on a tropical vacation this fall for 10 days and left our 7, 5 and 2 year old with grandparents. We had a blast, but I was really homesick for my kids after about 7 days. I would definitely do it again, and for me 10 days is probably the max.

    13. Thanks, everyone for the advice. In further emails with husband today, I think I’m going to fly in at the end of his work-week for the vacation week, and then we’ll fly back together. I am a little more comfortable with that, and I know my son will have a great time with grandma and grandpa regardless. Thanks so much for sharing all your advice and experiences. :)

    14. When I was five and my sister was three, my parents took us backpacking around Scandinavia for three weeks. Each of us had a back pack (mine was tiny! so cute I still have it!). We had no reservations, stayed in hotels and Y’s (many of them have rooms for four).

      It was fabulous! I remember a bit, but they love their memories of watching us see the midnight sun. Bring the kid!

  15. In the 1950s, my grandparents went to Europe for a month-long vacation with some friends, and left my dad, then a high school student, home alone for the entire time. Apparently the neighbors fed him, and his older brother came home from college sometimes and had fantastic parties in the house. My dad says it was one of the best times of his high school life. I was just stunned to hear about this — I mean, making a phone call from Europe at that time wasn’t so easy, so I bet they had hardly any communication. Wonder if this would even be legal today.

    1. I think you can leave a high school student alone for a pretty long time even today…unless they are incredibly advanced for their age. I mean, you’re allowed to babysit other people at 12!

  16. As someone who was annually sent to my grandparents’ for 2 weeks in the summer (not because my parents were traveling, but because they wanted me to spend time with my g’parents as they lived in another part of the country), don’t worry too much. If you’re child has spent alot of time around your parents, and it sounds like he/she has, it’ll be fine. The only real problem is that if your parents are anything like my grandparents, they’ll likely spoil your child rotten. ;) If anything SHOULD happen while you’re gone, I would imagine your parents are more than capable of handling the situation (and if they weren’t, I doubt you’d be lieaving your child with them anyway).
    If you’re worried about your child being upset that you’ll be gone for so long, keep in mind all the methods of communication that are available now. When I was away from parents as a kid all that was available was the telephone. But now there’s email and Skype. Email would be great so you can check in daily or semi-daily and Skype would be great so you and your child can actually see each other.
    In the long-term, I don’t remember being upset about being away from my parents for those weeks when I was a kid, but I do remember how great it was to spend time with my grandparents.

    2. It’s OK, JessC, I saw it! Thanks for your input and great tips about email. Skype, etc.

    1. I thought it was awesome. The beginning about befriending the other females when there’s only a few of you is a great point. I think too often women feel as if they are competing against each other to be the “best woman” or something.

      1. Yes, totally agree with that. Women need to be nicer to women, and to understand that the first instinct to be catty is a socialized one.

        Some of the other stuff (a hundred percent of cool guys secretly feeling like “girls with d*cks”?) I’m not so sure about.

    2. I thought I tried posting something like this before, but I guess it didn’t go through.

      I sort of liked the piece, and I consider myself feminist all the way, but I don’t quite think this is my brand of feminism. Too angry.

      1. Agreed.

        Also, I was confused by like that website (“This Recording”). Maybe it is too modern for me, and I will understand it in 5 years.

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