If you’re looking for an affordable but durable leather tote, Madewell’s Transport line continues to win rave reviews. I was intrigued to see that they’ve come out with a whole line of lighter, springier colors — a nice departure from the usual black and brown. I like this light petal pink, although I wish it had feet on it. The bag is $168 at Nordstrom. ‘Transport’ Leather Tote
Ladies, what’s the most affordable tote you’d recommend? Everlane’s day tote is also around $165, and Cuyana’s unzipped tote is $175, but everything else that comes to mind is more than that (failing, of course, lucky finds at spots like TJ Maxx, Century 21, and Last Call)…
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Anon
Suggestions of a potential itinerary, B&Bs or Airbnbs and things to do around Cape Cod, Nantucket, and/or Martha’s Vineyard?
I want to take a trip over the 4th of July. It’s always a slow week, and there’s a nice, very cheap nonstop itinerary flying to Boston out late Tuesday afternoon and coming back Sunday for a long weekend.
Anonymous
All great spots but my suggestion would be to see where you can find accommodations. Most will be booked by this point for July 4th.
Anon
Good tip, thanks. There seems to be plenty available on airbnb right now in-budget, and I do want to act pretty quickly.
Anonymous
Honestly, for just a weekend I would hide out on Nantucket. Walk/ride bike/eat well.
Structured Tops?
I love the tops at MM.LaFleur (the Deneuve, the Dani) and the Fold London (Belmore, Belleville, etc.) but they’re out of my budget. Are there any other brands that sell similar styles at a lower price print? My requirements are: sleeves (short, elbow, or 3/4), thicker material (not just thin jersey or rayon), fitted/semi fitted cut, and dressy enough to wear in a formal work environment.
Marshmallow
Look on Poshmark for MM LaFleur tops. Also look into the brand COS– lower price point and they do a lot of thick fabrics and sleeves.
Jessie
Right? I am loving their formal workwear but it’s out of my budget too. Beyond the usual suspects like Jcrew/Banana Republic/Ann Taylor, are there any other shops that people recommend? I’ve actually found great luck on Asos’s workwear section before. You kind of have to sift through the definitely not workwear appropriate clothing but there are a few great pieces once in a while.
Meranda
I love Elizabeth & Clarke for my everyday work tops. They have a new collection every season and you get three for $120. They also have a line of basic white tops that you can switch out if you don’t care of one of the seasonal pieces. https://www.elizabethandclarke.com/
I’ve also gotten basic pants and a few dresses from Brass Clothing, but not any of their tops. The pieces I have are well made and I love them. https://brassclothing.com/
Hope this helps!
Babymoon Recs?
I’ll be in my second trimester with our first this summer. We’re thinking of driving from home in NYC to see my family in Atlanta the week of July 4, and want to tack on a 3-4 day beach vacation to it. Any recs for somewhere between NYC and ATL? Ideally somewhere quiet where we could rent an air bnb, grill a lot and hang on the beach every day.
Anonymous
Look at the Outer Banks of NC. Some of the small times can be very quiet (although everything will be busier than usual during that time).
HarHarHar
I second the Outer Banks, but the east coast of Virginia is also nice and quiet. Try Cape Charles.
Gail the Goldfish
Oak Island, NC(the Caswell Beach end.) Very quiet, and not as out of the way as the Outer Banks (depending on which island on the Outer Banks you’re looking at). The hard part is going to be finding a 3-4 day rental the week of the 4th; a lot of places will only rent weekly that week. Or, if you have the budget for it, Bald Head Island (requires a ferry to get to). It is pricey, though.
Anon
How do you decide when to open and close credit cards? I feel like I have more than I want (no balances, they’re just open cards), but I don’t want to hurt my score by closing them.
Anon
Are you planning on getting a loan soon or is there another reason you’re worried about your credit score in the short term? If not, just go ahead and do it. Your score will recover.
Anonymous
I close every card but my oldest, even though I never use it.
Anon
This – keep your oldest card open. Mint has a nice feature where I can easily see all the open accounts on my credit and their age, so when I recently got a good milage offer to upgrade from gold to platinum Delta card, I could do a quick calculation of the average age of my credit and there was almost no effect of closing the gold account. Average age of credit is a factor, but on-time payments and usage seem to weigh heavier.
Lana Del Raygun
Any advice for systems or methods (including apps) for reminding yourself to eat and drink more regularly and frequently? I am definitely not getting enough water and I’ve been needing to eat more often recently, so I’m wondering what works for you to build up that habit.
Anon
Bring a water bottle with you. I don’t think you need an app for this, you just need to have water handy.
Anonymous
I have an app on my phone that pings me every 30 minutes to remind me to stand up. Maybe there’s something similar for drinking water? I’ve also seen people draw lines on their water bottle with a sharpie and write in times to indicate how much they should have drank by a certain time of day.
I’ve never in my life needed a reminder to eat, so I can’t help you there.
Anokha
I’ve used Waterlogged with moderate success — you can set a daily goal, and I’m very goal oriented!
Shape of Water
This is from the Hydrite website about their water bottle: “GLOWS The only bottle with lights that flash to remind you to drink more water and to celebrate when you’ve met your daily goal.”
KateMiddletown
I tend to drink the most water when I have one of those big 1.5L bottles on my desk. They take forever to finish but I challenge myself to finish it up and drink it again filled w/ tap water by days end. (I love Smart Water or the Whole Foods equivalent when I can’t bear to drink H20 – for some reason it’s easier to drink.)
Jaydee
For water, I find I drink faster from a straw than from a plain cup or water bottle. So I have one of those big plastic tumblers (mine probably holds about 24 oz) on my desk that I can just fill with ice and water and sip on throughout the day. It keeps the water pretty cold and is easy to clean. if I can drink 2 of those a day, I figure I’m doing great, and if I only drink one, that’s still better than some days. Plus it’s nice to take a break to stretch my legs and get more water.
Girls' Fancy Beach Trip Shopping Help!
I’m invited to a girls’ weekend in the Caribbean next January. However, I’m really casual outside of work and want to dress to impress this very brand-conscious crowd. I also haven’t been clubbing since the mid-2000s and have slowly replacing clothes that were in style back in 2012 before I had kids, so let’s assume I have no idea what is in style or appropriate anymore.
So I need help shopping.
But where? For what? What would you pack (and where/what brand would you buy)? For reference, I’m a very busty petite hourglass.
I peeked at old pictures of their trips and noted the following items:
Mid-thigh shorts paired with not-too-fitted tops and wedge (!) sandals (I wear flats almost exclusively during the day on beach trips)
Clubbing dresses and dressy high-heeled sandals (for reference, I noted these women aren’t displaying cleavage but were all wearing body-con mid-thigh dresses and the aforementioned sandals (ouch!) at night…my “fancy” beach trip sandals are wedges)
Accessories to match: I saw handbags in bold colors, clutches, and assume a nicer beach bag will be necessary, plus the shoes mentioned above. What about jewelry (like for swimsuits, which I have never accessorized)?
Hair: mine frizzes on the beach, yet all of them had their hair down and straight all the time. What strange magic is this?
I’m covered for good quality and flattering swimsuits, cover-ups, beach hats, fancy sunglasses, and basic grooming (mani/pedi/body hair).
I know looking expensive is in the details. Your help is greatly appreciated.
Anonymous
Why?
Anonymous
This does not sound like fun.
Anonymous
Abject misery. Go and be yourself. Or don’t go.
Anon
+1
Why would you want to change so much about yourself to just go on vacation?
Anon
Also this is literally 9 months away. If you’re really set on buying an entirely new wardrobe for this trip, now might not be the time to do it.
Senior Attorney
Right? Sounds horrible and plus if you are not in that world you are almost certainly going to get some detail wrong (wrong brand, X Thing from Popular Brand instead of Y Thing) and you will have wasted your money.
Anonymous
Yeah. Maybe this is just me…but when I go on vacation, I try to go on trips that won’t emotionally exhaust me, with people I actually like (and who actually like me – the way I am).
I would ask yourself why you’re so concerned about looking “absolutely right” for this trip and also ask, what do you think will really happen if you don’t have the right shoes/clothes/hair on this trip? Would that really be so bad? If these women won’t like you or be nice to you if you don’t look the “right” way – are they really your friends? Do you really want to spend time with them? Finally – if your child was asking these questions to “prepare” for a trip with friends – what advice would you give him/her?
Put a higher price on your loyalty. Be friends with people who accept you as you are. You shouldn’t have to change this much about yourself to feel comfortable around these people.
Anonymous
Agree.
You are friends with these people? Why? Don’t they know you by now?
Anonymous
Could be her SO’s friends’ wives/girlfriends. My first thought when I read this post was the part of Crazy Rich Asians when Rachel goes on Araminta’s super extravagant bach trip with all those snobby girls? But I agree this sounds ghastly.
anon
Right? I tried, to fit in on a cruise with DH’s coworkers, and my lasting memory of that vacation was how unhappy I was. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin and definitely did not fit in with the crowd. It made me feel like the awkward kid in high school all over again, and who the heck needs that on a vacation? Now that I’m five years older and wiser, I don’t think I’d subject myself to that again, even for a trip to the Caribbean.
Torin
If their hair is straight and not frizzy at all on the beach, they’re probably getting blow outs before they go. I don’t know of another way to achieve that. I think it’s physically impossible otherwise.
Anonymous
I don’t think a blowout would stay smooth long on the beach. Maybe they are getting keratin?
Torin
I meant whatever the smoothing treatment thing is that lasts for months at a time — I thought that was called a blow out but I guess not? I wear my hair curly and just let it frizz at the beach. I’m clueless on these things.
Senior Attorney
Brazilian blowouts. It costs, like, $300 but it will keep your hair straight.
Anonymous
Maybe. I’m cursed with stick straight hair that stays straight in humidity. The problem is it has absolutely zero body and more often than not looks limp and like it’s pasted to my scalp.
Anon
Me too- in the rain my hair is still flat and limp. No one has ever successfully curled my hair.
Anonymous
Same. My hair is pretty much always straight but it’s not a good look. Flat and limp. And it won’t hold a curl or updo so I can’t even have it done nicely for fancy events.
Anonymous
Or they have straight hair. Lots of people have straight hair. I always wished mine frizzed or curled, but it’s just straight.
Ellen
I agree. This woman’s freind’s would EXHAUST me! FOOEY! When I go on vacation, I do NOT care in the least what I look like. It is to much work to have to dress for women who are so status concius! DOUBEL FOOEY! When I am away, I just want to relax, and do NOT have to be fashionable. In fact, I tend to be very causal and wear stuff that makes me feel RELAXED. As it is, whatever I wear seems to attract all kinds of beach bums, and If I were in Cancun, I’d have a bevy of Mexican guys chaseing after me. FOOEY! Sometimes, the LAST thing I want is for some guys to be sniffing around lookeing for easy s-x! NO WAY HOSE, b/c those type of guys have s-x at least once a day with DIFFERENT women, and I would NOT want any part of that!
Anyway, I wanted to tell Kat that the Totes she highlighted are GREAT! High quality leather, so you will not look cheap. But don’t put your clotheing in them b/c they are NOT lined, and you do not want your clotheing to smell like leather. If you are carrying stuff other then clotheing in there, it is great. I have 2 of these bag’s already! And I highly recommend them! YAY Kat!!!!!
anononono
OK I have a lot of experience in this type of thing, and my advice is yes, go shopping! But no, don’t try to match the group. Decide how you want to look on this trip and what is going to make you feel awesome. It’s really hard to match a group that you don’t naturally fit into, appearance/clothing-wise, and I end up usually noticing the subtle but glaring ways that I went “wrong”. Instead, I feel awesome when I go all-in on my signature look, which is basically Twiggy with a leather jacket.
Bonus: People usually think I’m cool when I just go for my look, too.
Anon
I love the living proof no frizz leave in conditioner on my wavy hair that frizzes with any and all humidity. It won’t keep it straight, but it definitely smooths and cuts way down on frizz when I air dry in a super humid DC summer, so I imagine it would help with the beach. You could get those trendy beach curls (or in my world, everyday hair for me) with minimum effort.
Anon
And I highly recommend sofft wedge sandals (from this normally flats only wearer). Super comfy and I get a lot of wear out of mine and tons of compliments from the younger, trendier crowd.
Torin
Those look really cute! Would you really wear them to a beach though? Would the sand and salt water not ruin them? I’ve always worn things like Ipanema sandals to the beach and am confused.
Anon
On the beach, no. Out to dinner, theoretically clubbing (not my thing), etc. while on a beach vacation, yes. On the beach I am the nerd in the tevas (or occasionally a nicer pair of reef sandals). They are also my standard “heels” in the summer for weddings, brunches, etc., beach or no beach.
Calico
Based on how you describe their outfits, I would look at DVF or Trina Turk.
anon
get a keratin treatment, for your hair before you go- that’s the only way mine will look reasonably decent near any body of water. My area’s groupon always has them! I would check Nordstrom or Shopbop for the shorts and body-con dresses- revolve may also be a good place to look for dresses, you could even do an 8-day rent the runways rental. You could do a Nordstrom personal shopper session for this. Consider a gel mani-pedi and very very subtle airbrush tan (done by a human, not in a booth- that never ends well.)
Anonymous
I would wait to shop in August. It’s early if you’re concerned about being trendy.
Pep
The only thing I’d worry about is the clubbing, since that’s out of your wheelhouse (and mine, FWIW).
Can you ask one of the women that you’re closest to to help? I agree with one of the other posters that you shouldn’t try to mimic a style that’s not yours, maybe a friend can help you find something appropriate that you’re comfortable with?
Frozen Peach
Could not agree more with anonononon. I’ve been to several bachelorette parties where I was clearly out of my element/price range, with very trendy/posh/expensive gals like this. I did not try to dress like them, I instead tried to find things that I liked that were different than what they were used to and wouldn’t register as cheap. Really leaned in to my own signature style and definitely shopped for some new things I loved and felt confident in. But I didn’t try to keep up/ mimic. I just tried to be myself, only super fabulous and feeling really good and well-prepared with things I actually like. This worked very well. I now have lasting friendships with several of these women– not trying to act like everyone else made me a magnet for the ones who dressed the part but were more interesting and real and down to earth under the Lilly Pulitzer and $2000 sunglasses.
Nesprin
I’m starting a new job and I want to switch over from casual (jeans + sneakers ) to something more business casual. The wrinkle is that I work in a lab, and need to cover tops of feet and ankles, so ankle skinny jeans + ballet flats or skirts+ sandals don’t work. What on earth could I wear?
A
Skinny pant plus ankle boot or a clog. Cute tops I like printed chambray or casual button downs.
Scilady
I second A – skinny pants (although it’s hard to find ones longer than the ankle for lab – I’ve had some luck with tall sizes). I also like wearing oxfords or loafers for women. Oxfords cover the whole foot and are stylish. Loafers you can sometimes get ones that cover most of the foot as well.
You may just want to have “lab shoes” and wear your cute shoes to/from work and meetings.
Anon
Darn you Kat, you posted a gorgeous J. Crew dress this morning, which I bought, and now you posted this purse which I want, too! This is not going to be a good month for my bank account :/
Stephanni Rachel
Hello Corporate,
I was wondering if some one can help me with some advise. I live in CT and will be relocating to Florida.
I work for a corporate company now however, I have been searching for opportunities in Florida and I am sure I will be interviewing soon. I wear nude pantyhose now with my skirt suits and I know that if I were to interview here in CT I would wear the same for am interview. Does any one know if hosiery should be worn for a corporate interview in Florida? I would really love to know. I know dress the part is real but I do not want to get laughed at either or to be titled as an outsider and lose any chances for a great opportunity. Thanks for your feed back. Stephanni Rachel