ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 325 Comments

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Link Print Navy Jane Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Link Print Navy Jane Dress by MillyI'm not that familiar with the site my-wardrobe, but they're having an insane sale — there are tons of amazing dresses deeply discounted to the $150-$250 range — but all in lucky sizes only, of course. Take this gorgeous wrap dress from Milly — very classic cut and style, was $529 but now marked to $158 (lucky size L only). (I'm also fond of this, this, and this.) Sigh — I love a good sale. Link Print Navy Jane Dress by Milly Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-all)

Sales of note for 12.5

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

325 Comments

  1. Reposting because I was late to the game yesterday.

    Through a combination of many unfortunate accidents (many of which involve my sweet pup who rarely has accidents, but when she does, they’re on this rug), the sisal rug in my kitchen is looking pretty dang bad. The problem is that gunk gets stuck in between the woven threads, if you know what I mean. It’s impossible to get it out. Does anyone have any ideas? Do you think a carpet-cleaning service would be able to help? Do dry cleaners do that type of thing?

    It’s a really nice rug, so I’m hoping not to have to replace it!

    2. This is why I don’t have a rug in my kitchen. I would have to get it cleaned weekly.

      1. Every time I think about putting a rug under my kitchen table, my toddler drops something on the floor that’s sticky/greasy/otherwise disgusting to remind me why that’s a really bad idea.

        1. I just want to note that prices on that site don’t include customs and duties. I was going to purchase an Anya Hindmarch bag there recently that had been marked down from 1400 to 750 dollars. When I went to checkout, an additional $150 dollars in duties and taxes had been added to the price, and that didn’t include shipping. Of course you’re probably only looking at $30 dollars or so for this dress, but still, something to be aware of.

  3. This is gorgeous. The sort of thing you can wear for years and to so many different places. And love that the neckline looks a bit higher than your typical wrap dress so perhaps a cami will actually not be necessary (cough, cough, DvF). Alas, it is not available in my size. I will admire it from afar. Hope it finds a good home.

    1. Is this really a wrap dress? It looks like it just has a seam down the center. Not complaining! Wrap styles don’t work with a large bust – they inevitable come open.

      1. Nope, you are correct. I just assumed based on the sash, but description says nothing about it and it does look like just a seam down the middle on closer examination.

  4. Ugh, having to behave like a *grown-up* and go to work during the summertime is such a bummer. I am such a 12-year-old, but swimming, biking and being outdoors are my favorite activities in the entire world and I’m MISSING OUT!

    Seriously, I need to schedule a few vacation days because just seeing other people’s vacation pictures on FB is making me really irrationally angry. Especially my coworkers’ pictures. I can’t reach anyone and my projects are just sitting there, which is a huge anxiety trigger for me.

    1. Right there with you. Of course, half the judges here are out gallivanting around Europe right now, which only makes matters worse.

    2. I won’t be able to get away until September so have been taking random Mondays off.

    3. I had I’m-missing-summer angst a couple weeks ago and spent a Saturday at a park with a little lake. It seriously helped. Get yourself to a body of water ASAP!

  5. I know we usually talk about women’s workwear here on the [site].

    But has anyone else noticed that summer seems to bring out the bro in even the most mild-mannered of male office-denizen. Suddenly, all over the city, the aviators are out, the shiny pants abound, the buttons are buttoned one or two less. I don’t know what’s happening…but its bro-tastic. I expect to see at least one popped collar before the end of my day.

      1. Not shiny in a particularly good way. Or maybe the pants are always shiny…and now its just sunny enough for me to notice. Mind.blown…… :-P

        1. Hahaha. I was imagining funny-shiny more than sexy-shiny. Like, one of the middle-aged men in my office wearing shiny skinny pants with button front shirts.

        1. Okay. The ones the prompted the pants were probably something like this suit, but maybe with a little more sheen.

          http://www.overstock.com/Clothing-Shoes/English-Laundry-Mens-Grey-Sharkskin-Pattern-Three-piece-Suit/6284556/product.html?rcmndsrc=2

          But there are a variety of levels of shine available in men’s trousers. I’m kind of amazed by all the shock and awe about this. Now you’ll all notice…all the time. Shiny men’s trousers abound..and they almost always are a questionable fashion statement.

          4. My husband would totally wear that. He like to dress bro-tastic though he is so not a d-bag. He just takes a strong interest in fashion and would be what one might call “metro.” To top it off, he is a fed employee in a super casual office so he tries to “rock” dress pants and polos since he can’t wear full suits. Le sigh.

      4. Perhaps in the town of ShinyPants, from Pinky and the Brain! I can’t go scaring up a video clip right now, but some of you remember, right?

    2. Here in DC it’s just been ridiculously preppy. Seersucker suits? Check. Madras shorts? Check. Ties with little whales on them? Yup. Oh, and way too many popped collars. What offices do all these people work at where they can dress like they’re going to the country club? I’m a little jealous, really.

          1. haha. My beloved hubbie is a UVA grad. I have a picture of him and his friends from college getting ready to go to a football game and he’s actually *wearing* a madras jacket, which of course he’d never be caught dead in now (I believe alcohol was involved.)

            So he actually resembles that comment. :-P

        3. I was a total UVA hater when I arrived there for college (my whole family went to the other Virginia school :)). I couldn’t believe those people were so ridiculous as to dress up for football games! So obnoxiously preppy with their popped collars and SUVs and country music! But by the time I left I was a pearl-wearing, sundress-clad, bourbon-drinking, country music-listening Wahoo and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would go back in a hot second!

      3. Seersucker Thursday! A Hill tradition. And seersucker is a venerable-er summer tradition, predating dbaggery and undoubtedly to outlive it as the boyos become men with bellies and lives and clues. It was practical pre-HVAC and practical still post-derecho. Boys and girls can play, you don’t have to be a prep or a pr*k, just hot.

        1. They canceled it this year:-( Apparently congressional leaders thought having fun sent the wrong message. Of course, some people still wore seersucker.

      4. We’ve discussed seersucker before -it’s completely practical for summers in DC!

        The ties with little whales on them make me giggle, though. Soooo addorrrable!

        (They probably work at my office. There are three guys wearing seersucker or madras shorts within 50 feet of me RIGHT NOW. I do not approve.)

        1. Honey Pillows, 3 guys with madras/seersucker w/in 50 feet of you? I am like a moth to the flame. Can I come work where you work??

      6. Ugh! Are people still wearing “popped” collars? I thought that look was embarassed out of existence with “The Preppy Handbook.” It’s a very affected look (like prep-wannabe) and I would be surprised if real preps (and I am NOT one) actually wear it.

    3. It’s epidemic. My neighbor has taken to shiny pants. And we live in fly-over country!

      1. babyweight, are you sure your neighbor isn’t in the witness protection program? Because that sounds to me like what’s going on here.

      1. +1 Sconnie. I rock the aviators all the time, and if I do say so myself, I look pretty hawt in them.

        Also, technically, I’m wearing a madras blouse today.

        …

        OMG… Am I a bro?

        2. I’ll raise you a pair of mirrored aviators I’ve been coveting for the past year… finally bought them and rock them every single day!!!

        6. If you often use phrases like “Brah, I totally CRUSHED that motion,” you might be a bro.

          1. duuuuuuuuuuuude, we totally rocked that litigation budget, yo! we like TOTALLY CRUSHED the company’s potential exposure by settling expeditiously, brah!

        7. I wore a madras skirt yesterday. Today I’m wearing navy eyelet, but then I fully embrace the preppy.

          1. Oh and yes, it was a checkerboard pastiche of madras, but I got it at TJMaxx. Full disclosure, I bought both the skirt and the sheath dress when I found them in the store about 5 years ago.

    5. My office is non-stop seersucker and sherbet-colored shirts on the dudes these days.

      1. Is it bad to admit I secretly find this look pretty hot (at least until the wearer opens his mouth)? And I say that as someone you would never, ever expect to like bros.

          1. This made me laugh. We have a LI-er in our office and he is FIGHTING (Fighting I tell you) DC fashion. He swears he’ll never be embroidered slacks. He showed up to a c**ktail hour in linen shorts and topsiders. MmmHmm.

        3. Seersucker +sherbet colored shirts > Polo shirts w/too much polyester content, overly stretched by oversized bellies popping out over Dockers khakis.

          Even shiny pants-wear peeps > Humpty-Dumpties in stretchy polos

          1. Agreed – preppy attire does not magically make an unattractive dude attractive, at least in my opinion.

        5. I love it as well! The Dear Young Buck is a slouchy ex-punk, unfortunately. I wear all the seersucker in this relationship, although he was adorable in the tasteful, subdued, blue plaid tie I begged him to wear to a wedding last year.

        6. I love this look, too. And I recently discovered that my husband will wear anything that I buy for him (muahahahahaha!!) Plus bonus points that he’s not actually a d-bag :)

          1. My marriage is all prep all the time. New England prep school girl married to a southern UVA boy. We own much sherbet.

  6. As the resident Nordie’s hawker, may I remind you ladies that the Nordie’s Anniversary Sale starts for cardholders tomorrow in store / online tonight at midnight PST. There’s always way more in store/online than in that catalog, so I’m eager to see the merch. A lot of it does go on real markdown after Labor Day, but there are always a few things that sell out really quickly, especially items from brands like Burberry, Boss Black, and Theory. All the house brands get restocked, of course. Fingers crossed for a good sale on black boots, which I need.

    1. Thanks! Forgot that the online store opens at midnight.

      Question – I’m a loyal Nordies shopper and card holder and usually buy a good amount at the anniversary sale. But, I am three months pregnant. I’m not showing at all and am still at my pre-pregnancy weight. Is it worth it to buy a few staples in the hopes that I can fit into my clothes post-baby, or just wait until next year?

      1. I wouldn’t buy anything just yet. For many women I know, they lost the baby weight, but their figures were different. Meaning that stuff that looked great on them before doesn’t any longer. I would wait until at least 6 months post-baby. (At least that is my own plan)

    2. I’ve been putting off all other shopping for about a month now and eagerly awaiting the Nordies sale! This is my first year with a Nordies card so I’m seriously thinking of staying up until midnight for my first pre-sale.

      1. Eh, no. I’m 2 months pp and my ribcage expansion shows no sign of retreating. Hips are back to normal, though!

    3. Is it just me, or do these semi-annual sales happen a hell of a lot more often than once every 6 months?

      1. Semi annual sale happens, per definition, twice per year. It is a clearance sale of current season merch.

        Nordstrom Anniversary Sale (NAS for those of us on a nickname basis) happens once per year and is a pre-season sale. They will have fall/winter items.

        There is also a Men’s sale that happens in Feb. I think the semi-annual tends to be women and children only.

        1. The half-yearly men’s sale begins Dec. 26th (in stores, Dec. 25th on line) and around Father’s day in June. Women’s and children’s half yearly happens in May and November.

    4. I have an 8am appointment tomorrow morning with my salesperson at Nordies so we can be sure that my size is not sold out. It’s like being a kid in a candy shop. My challenge is not to go too crazy. But this should be fun!

      1. I have an 8am appointment at my local store, too. I am both excited and slightly scared :)

        1. Lucky ladies. I have yet to find a PS that I click with, so I’ve kinda given up. I’m part of the midnight online crew this year.

      2. I have a Friday evening appt. but will probably buy some things online first that might sell out. Bonus for me – Nordies sent me a voucher for $50 off a personal shopping appt!

    5. Woo! I’ve already gotten 3 phone calls from Nordstrom – they are hitting it hard this year.

      Lots of Cole Haan shoes on sale and also those flats everyone raves about, the AGL ones. It’s a really good time to stock up on bras, etc (ex, Hanky Panky is ridic marked down). I’m also eyeing some Zella workout wear.

      1. PSA on Hanky Panky knockoff – Maidenform makes a ridiculously great knockoff I suggest everyone check out. Link to follow.

      2. I will also be picking up some Zella workout wear. I have a workout top from Zella I got on clearance a couple years ago that is holding up really well.

        1. So you like the Zella activewear? Do you know how their fit and cut compares to Lululemon? My gym’s shop just opened and they carry a full line of Lulu, their own brand (Equinox) which is not quite as pricy and some other ridiculously expensive workout gear. You pass by it on the way to the locker room each day. Very hard to resist….

    6. I’m so excited! I’ve been fantasizing about a purse I saw in the pre-sale catalog.

    7. When does the sale start for non-cardholders? Do they tend to have good markdowns on dresses? I need a cocktail dress for an upcoming wedding.

      1. Reposting because I wrote c*cktail –

        When does the sale start for non-cardholders? Do they tend to have good markdowns on dresses? I need a c*cktail dress for an upcoming wedding.

        1. 7/20. And it’s not markdowns. It’s promotional pricing on (many) specific pieces. The prices go back up in August.

  7. To the ladies who recommended the jockey skimmies – THANK YOU! I ordered a pair off amazon to replace my usual bike shorts I wear under my skirts and these are an amazing godsend.

    SO SOFT! SO COMFY! SO NON-CONSTRICTING!

    Can you tell I’m more than slightly excited?

    1. What’s the sizing like? The Amazon size chart’s measurements suggests I need a size larger than my usual size in bottoms. Do you agree?

      1. They are super stretchy – I’m usually a 14/16 in bottoms (junk in the trunk) and went with a Large which fits perfectly

        1. and by stretchy, i mean this microfiber fabric that is kind of like the top of some tights – not some scary spanx-like contraption

          in sum, i’d err smaller

      2. True statements below — they’re super stretchy, in the best way humanly possible. I’d err smaller (or your size). I went with the recommended size the first time and they’re a bit too big.

    2. Jockey underwear is amazing. No VPL, comfortable, holds up. Love the stuff. Can’t speak on sizing for bike shorts, but I’m a size 8 – 10 and wear their underwear in 5 – 6.

    3. Agree! They are amazing! So much better than bike shorts. Not bulky, not constricting, and keep your skirt from sticking to your rear end when you stand up! Just wish they made a shorter version too.

    4. I have been meaning to post the same thing – life changing item. Love. I found they run true to size & are stretchy/comfy so you don’t need to size up (like I so w/ spanx – ugh, those are going in the trash since I discovered these).

  8. Ladies, I’m sad to have missed the discussion yesterday about getting ready in the morning with baby. I have to go back to work next week (booooo!) and I don’t know how the h*ll I’m going to do it! I have to get the 3 kids ready in the morning, and now the nanny has to use our car bc hers isn’t big enough to fit the 3 kids in,and I am still so effing tired all the time (baby is sleeping 6 or 7 hrs and I can’t fit in much more than that). Plus we’re trying to save money (DH started a new business this year and we were 5 figures out of pocket in startup costs) so I have to figure out how to make dinner in 10 minutes (and feed baby) when I get home, so the other 2 kids don’t become ravening wolves. ARGH!

    1. Dude, frozen food. The kids won’t mind at all, and you can get plenty of nutritious frozen dishes at Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, or the organic food section at most regular grocery stores. For breakfast, cereal bars. And maybe the nanny can come half an hour early and help get the kids ready. You’ll manage.

    2. Oh, honey. Time, money, sanity. Choose 2.

      You can’t do that evening schedule. That’s impossible. You either have to spend more on prepared foods, eat out more often, or maybe your husband can help out with dinner.

    3. Cook in advance. Make Tuesday night’s dinner on Monday night – after the kids go to sleep on Tuesday night, prepare Wednesday night’s dinner. Etc. etc. Saves much, much sanity!

    4. Quick dinner thread! I’m ALWAYS looking for 10 minute recipes so I’ll start. Brush a filet of salmon with any coarse mustard and cover with panko crumbs. Bake until done at 450 degrees. On the side, couscous and tomatoes provencal (cut tomatoes in half, throw on some olive oil and herbs provencal, then bake until hot). Not sure if your kids will eat it, but the salmon is so impressive that it’s our dinner party go-to.

      1. I do salmon like this only I smear with purchased pesto and sprinkle with parm cheese. My kids love, love, love it and couscous, too.

        1. I also regularly serve eggs for dinner – egg sandwiches, scrambled eggs, omlets – because it’s fast, easy, and cheap. Sometimes I put out a bowl of fruit or veggies and dip while I’m cooking so the kids don’t whine about being hungry and they are eating something healthy.

          1. I had an omelet for dinner last night. Sauteed some veggies from the farmer’s market while I beat the eggs and did a few dishes, threw the scrambled eggs into the veggie pan, and done in less than 10 minutes. Thank heavens for eggs.

      2. Even quicker, Sam’s Club (and I assume Costco or wherever) has frozen Jim Beam salmon filets, marinated tilapia filets, frozen crab cakes, etc. Also, Bertoli meals. Is it the healthiest thing to serve my kid? No. But I also need to maintain my sanity so I throw in some fresh veggies where I can and cut up some fruit and call it dinner.

        1. Yeah, I am single and childless and live by myself in an apartment with a cat and I still resort to things like this for dinner sometimes. >.>

    5. Institute family happy hour when you get home. The two bigger kids can have a small portion of “hors d’oevres” (aka grapes or pretzels or goldfish) with a seltzer/juice mix, you can have a glass of whatever you want, and baby can nurse/enjoy a bottle. The snack will tide the kids over and keep them in one place while you feed the baby.

      OR have the nanny feed the older kids a snack before you get home. :)

      1. This. My sis and bro in law both work. Now have kiddos that are 4, 2.5 twins, and a 1 month old. As soon as she gets home in the evening (and before she had the baby), the 3 older ones get a snack and then play while dinner is prepped. Gives them a chance to work off the crazies before dinner which is always a good thing.

        PS – love the idea of a happy hour for kids. Ha!

    6. Time to start collecting or thinking of every soup, stew, and casserole recipe you’ve ever heard of. Make them on Sunday and they will keep for several days, to be repurposed with rice for meals or just eaten straight up.

      Also — do you have a grill? Because chicken breasts, pork chops, salmon, etc. can be grilled in about 5-10 minutes. So then if you’ve pre-made something (like say a salad) and you warm something up from the freezer (like say…potatoes), boom, you got a meal.

      I know it seems impossible right now. But remember that you don’t need to be the perfect mother who always has the perfect meal on the table. You just have to be a mother who has A meal on the table. And if the kids are ravenous when you get home and you need a few minutes to get your act together, give them apple slices and some hummus or peanut butter or something, park them in front of the tv (the horror!) and tell them to be quiet or you’ll sic your internet friends on them. lol. ;-)

      1. The grill is amazing like that. You can pretty much put anything on it. We finally have a small gas grill and were using it probably at least 3x a week when hubs was home. It is very very fast AND the mess stays outside/there are fewer dishes and pans to worry about. It’s also very healthy because there is pretty much no added fat save for the small amount of oil in marinades/what you might use for a light brushing. I like the idea of pairing grilled meats and veg with salads, bread, and even healthy frozen side dishes if you need to use them.

    7. Couldn’t DH help you, like one of you takes care of breakfast and the other takes care of dinner? I’d go crazy if I had to do everything, and wouldn’t allow it. It all shouldn’t fall of you, I mean, you are going back to work next week.

      Another suggestion is to do most of the cooking for the week on Saturday or Sunday. You could make it a fun day with your older kids and then portion up/freeze the food so it’s easily ready for M-F.

      1. Exactly ! what is the husband doing in this picture? Why are you taking on the sole responsibility of feeding the kids and working full time? I wonder if your husband looses even a minute of his sleep over this, he is probably knee deep in his startup and leaving all this to you, so unfair. Please please DEMAND your hubby to take 50% responsibility here instead of stressing yourself to no end. If I was you, it would be divorce ultimatum if all this was thrown on my lap. Sorry I might sound very harsh/mean here, this kind of stuff totally gets my blood boiling. Why do we women have to be the one to manage/worry/make strategies/feel guilty about this.

    8. The blog “Dinner:A Love Story” is a good one for kid friendly meals and is sympathetic to how to fit family meals into working parents schedules. Can the nanny help with dinenr prep, even if it is just to throw a pan of lasagna in the oven?
      I also find that a well timed snack with protein, like string cheese at 5 pm, keeps my toddler under control until I can get him home from school and get dinner in front of him.

    9. What is your two oldest kids’ favorite food? Grilled cheese+tomato soup? Spaghetti with meatballs? Chicken nuggets with mac ‘n cheese? Whatever it is, plan to serve it to them at least three nights a week. Kids don’t mind eating the same thing over and over if it is their favorite. Pick up pre-chopped veggies/fruits from the grocery store (again, whatever they like – don’t fight it until you’ve had enough time to settle into a routine that works) and throw it on the side.

    10. Make 2-3 dinners on Sunday (I have been known to have 2 crockpots going and something in the oven), a pot of rice/quinoa. Then during the week, you are steaming a veggie and warming.

      1. You ladies are awesome! I totally dig that salmon recipe and will do more cooking on weekends (duh) and getting the precut veggies.

    11. Soooo this comment got out of control fast. (and hopefully isn’t too late!)
      I found that weighing budget vs prep time was the hardest part of trying to cook better and cheaper. Yes, it’s cheaper to buy a whole butternut squash but it takes me like 25 minutes to cut the damn thing so most of the time I just buy the pre-cut up chunks.

      However, I’m really fast with small things like carrots, cucumbers, and zucchini so it’s more economical to buy whole ones. Using a wavy cutter for carrots makes them fun to eat, and sticking a bowl carrot and celery sticks out when you get home takes the edge off, for you and the kids! (keep carrots in a bowl of water in the fridge.)

      Breakfast. Cereal + bananas or oatmeal cooked in a crockpot overnight with cinnamon and vanilla. Nothing wrong with peanut butter banana sandwiches, and three ingredients are cheap.

      Anything with a marinade is easy if you have the fridge space. Grills are great for the summer (fast! no clean up!) and something that your partner might be willing to do, if s/he doesn’t like other kinds of cooking. It’s also really easy to learn to grill if you’ve never done it before.

      Tacos are fast and fun- put their own toppings on, also good for picky eaters.
      Crockpots are great- ribs, stew, chana masala, chili, pot roast, soup, curry… you can pretty much make anything in a crockpot. They’re also relatively inexpensive.
      Frozen veggies make fast sides. Nothing wrong with other frozen food!
      If you bake it with breadcrumbs on top, kids will eat it.
      Breakfast for dinner is great- Baked french toast in a 9×13 pan feeds a big crowd. Bacon in the oven is simpler and eggs are fast, even made to order.

      I don’t know how old your kids are, but they probably can do small things too- setting the table, putting this on a bowl and making it pretty, putting bread crumbs on top. Safe helping varies from parent to parent, but getting the kids involved extends the dinner family time.

  9. Crafty ladies: I need to buy an 8×8 fabric square to contribute to a quilt – I don’t have time to search out a physical shop, are there any places online that let you select and purchase individual fabric squares? I am unfortunately un-crafty, but ebay and etsy seemed rather limited in my search. Thank you!

    1. I’ve purchased fabric by the yard from Joann Fabrics and Country Curtains dot com. You buy by the yard, but can cut around it. If you have a Joann or Michael’s near you, you can probably go to the store, they’re everywhere.

    2. My mom is an avid quilter and she buys lots of fabric from Fat Quarter Shop (dot com). However, if you do get some time I’d strongly suggest finding a local quilt shop, as they are great small businesses filled with delightful ladies!

    3. I have purchased fabric online from rushin tailor (link to follow). I bought some aurora borealis print fabric for a project for my husband. They have some Alaska-specialty prints, as well as some pretty patterns and batiks. I recall their shipping being fairly prompt, although not next day or anything like that.

    4. Spoonflower lets you buy 8×8 sample squares of custom fabric ~ you can design your own or buy someone else’s design.

    5. I didn’t get the quilting gene in my family, but lots of the ladies in my family quilt – it’s srs bsns complete with retreats and all.

      Try this place www discountfabricsusacorp com They sell samples in 18×18 squares.

        1. Gurl, of course. October, quilting retreat in PA. I have to say, they make the prettiest dang things. My nieces have the cutest baby quilts, eva. I have some great ones and the crazy thing is, they just give em away as gifts.

    6. I’d pick out a fat quarter (roughly 9″x22″) from fatquartershop dot com and cut an 8″x8″ square out of that. Some quilt shops sell charm packs of different fabrics. It those are usually 5″x5″ so wouldn’t work for you.

    7. I don’t quilt, but sew and love getting fabric from mood dot com. They have a great selection and sorting system that makes it easy to find what you need.

  10. I just began week 2 of my 6 month litigation detail. I have about 20 active cases and was just staffed on a trial. I have about 10 major filings due in the next month. I feel like I am drowning in terror and to-do lists. I have been falling asleep thinking about my cases, dreaming about my cases, and waking up thinking about my cases. My regular job is about 6,000x more low key than this, so it’s a real shock to the system. Any tips on keeping my head above water for the next 5 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days?

    1. Do you have a good system for keeping track of all the deadlines, which should help you feel more on top of the work?

      I will say that I often have the sleep issues when I’m starting a new job. Even when I worked retail, I would go to sleep thinking about it and dream about running shoes out to customers, but it stopped once I got more comfortable with my job.

      1. I am really worried about missing a deadline, so I’m currently using my big desk blotter calendar, and excel spreadsheet, and my Outlook calendar to track everything. I’m sure there is probably a more efficient way to do this.

        1. I have a bunch of calendars like that, too, and I’m guessing my job is similar to your job in your home agency/office. I like the redundancy, and I think that the act of writing down or recording the same thing multiple times may help, too.

        2. I’d also suggest a white board, if you can – it’s always nice to see deadlines in list form for each case. That way, when you have a mini-panic attack at your desk that something in X case is due soon, you can look up and voila!

    2. I’m a new lawyer and a new litigator, so I won’t have as much awesome advice as the old pros. But for me, the biggest things are these:

      1. Calendar everything. Nothing leaves the office or my desk without me calendaring when I expect it back (this includes things I’m sending to my supervisor for review, things to judges, things to opposing counsel, etc). I also set up various reminders prior to deadlines. I.e., if I have a filing due on 7/20, I calendar a reminder for a week before, three days before, then the day before in addition to the day of.

      2. Make smaller, daily to-do lists, in addition to the calendars. The calendar will look overwhelming. Break it down into manageable parts. For instance, mine today looks like this: 1. Initial case evaluation of X to Person Y. 2. Revise X Section of Brief for Lawyer Z, for Bluebooking and grammar. 3. Draft initial discovery to A, B, and C from notes from 7/3 meeting. Etc, etc.

      3. Try to turn it off when you’re not at work or working. I am REALLY bad at this. I’ve been at this job almost a year now, and I’m reaching the point where I have to disconnect at the end of the day, even for a short period of time, or I will go insane from stressing/obsessing.

    3. Have one separate calendar that JUST has your drop dead deadlines on it. I keep a paper planner that has places I need to be (court, dr. appt) in office client meetings, and only the most major irreversible deadlines (not discovery deadlines.) When you are super busy, it is easy to ignore your calendar when it is cluttered with tons of “due in 7 days” reminders. I still have those calendars and best practice is to check it daily. But, the other calendar is my go-to when I am totally overwhelmed and have to just see what absolutely must be done now.

      1. This is an amazing idea. I’m going to go buy a paper calendar at lunch just for this purpose.

    4. Copy other peoples’ work. There should be draft motions around the office for most of your work, so at least you don’t have to start the legal research from scratch.

      1. Agreed. I also have a white board in my office with a list of what needs to be done, i.e. schedule ADR in ABC, review settlement agreement in DEF, prepare answer in GHI, respond to summary judgment motion in JKL, etc. I have to look at it when I face my computer and surf this website….

    5. Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I especially like the idea of having different calendars for drop dead dates and target dates for drafts and appointments, so I color-coded my outlook calendar to that effect. I’m glad I’m not the only one to find this somewhat overwhelming.

    6. Second as to calendars. With trials remember that there is what you would like to do and what you have to do to keep your case from being dismissed. Focus on the latter and work on the former as time permits.

  11. My google skills have failed me, I tried the search term : this site but with not much luck.
    DH is looking for a new job – lawyer – and we have no idea how one does this as neither of us has done any searching since law school when it was mostly a matter of career services. What are your favorite resources to look for legal positions? Does lawjobs dot com and that sort of thing work? I am sure others could also use this kinda list, I’d love to see a post of favorite career websites/sources. If geography is relevant, we’re in NY area.

    1. Probably depends on where he’s looking to go. Lateraling from one firm to another? Pretty much everybody I know has used a recruiter.

      1. Going from government office (prosecutor) to private practice, with five years of experience. Didn’t go to a fancy law school. Are recruitors warranted in such situations? I don’t know much about this sorta thing, but always just assumed that was more of a big law/t-14 type of thing.

        1. Probably depends on the size and reputation of the firm he’s looking to go to. I’ve known even smallerish boutiques of ~ 30 attorneys to use recruiters.

        2. Recruiters usually work with big firms. If he’s interested in that, I would reach out to a recruiter and see if he’s a good candidate. Some big firms looks for trial experience, so he may have a shot. Otherwise, I’d look on www indeed com, linked in, the job posting website of his law school’s career services, and the job posting website of a local law school in the city he’s interested in (if there is one). If he didn’t go to that law school he can sometimes still access their job postings by calling the school and asking for a password (he may have to pay a subscription fee). Also, sometimes word of mouth is your best friend – make sure he tells all his professional acquiantances that’s he’s looking.

        3. If he decides to reach out to recruiters, be sure to keep track of which ones he is using and where they are submitting his resume. You absolutely don’t want two recruiters submitting the same candidate to a firm. You should also know that despite years of experience, many big firms will refuse to consider candidates who had low law school GPAs (ridiculous, yes, but true – I worked as a recruiter and saw this first-hand). I’d also recommend checking out law firm websites and really getting connected through LinkedIn. Sometimes reaching out to an old law school friend for advice about how to transition to a firm (when said friend is at a firm) can be the best way to get a foot in the door.

    2. Also, don’t discount going back to career services– they have an interest in keeping alums employed. Even if you’ve moved since law school, lots of schools have reciprocity agreements that may give you access to career services near you.

    3. Local bar websites and publications. In my area smaller firms advertise with the bar or by word of mouth. To the extent possible, he should be telling every other lawyer he knows that he is looking to move to a firm of x size with y type of cases. Someone may say “oh, Joe mentioned in court the other day that he could use a lateral. Why don’t you give him a call?” My firm has hired several paralegals and assistants by word of mouth w/ no advertisement and I got my job from a listing in the local bar news.

    4. Not lawjobs. I seriously see nothing on there. Lawcrossing is a paid service and reiterates mostly what recruiters have but it can be useful. Mostly I’d say network. I’d suggest he have lunch or drinks with pretty much everyone he knows. The opener is “I’m thinking about what my next step should be and would love to hear what you think of the work you’re doing.” No pressure on the invitee, but anyone who hears that and knows of an opening will definitely pass along his resume. Also, career services and alumni networks (I’d use the same opener on a cold email to an alum as I would sending a note to a friend or former colleague.)

  12. Hey everyone –

    I need some quick advice. My 18 year old struggles with dandruff and Head & Shoulders doesn’t cut it (helps the flakes but tends to make her hair greasy.) Anyone have a suggestion of another product that works and doesn’t smell like medicine. THANKS!

    1. Try Neutrogena T-Gel. If that does not work, it’s probably not dandruff but product build-up. I have to use a lot of product to get my hair under control and I’ve found that the only thing that works for me to keep the flakes at bay is Tea Tree Oil. I mix a little bit of it in my regular shampoo and conditioner, and it works. Make sure you get the 100% pure Tea Tree Oil – it should come in a small bottle and be around $10 – $13. A little goes a long way. Also, I personally love the way it smells (mint / wintergreen).

    2. I’ve posted on this before – I’ve had dandruff for years, and I started using Renpure Shampoos. I actually had given up on the dandruff issue because nothing, ever, worked.

      They are not for dandruff, but they are sulfate- and everything else- free and by about my 3rd week of using them, my dandruff has disappeared 90%.

        2. They don’t have it at my CVS anymore, but I love it so much, I buy it online. It does not smell like medicine. It smells really nice, lightly floral.
          Dandruff is a b*tch and I’d given up on it, bought more tweed/grey jackets, etc….so this has been a really pleasant surprise. It’s about $7 a bottle.

          I used the green one at first, but it was a little heavy, and now I use the pink bottles.

          http://www.renpure.com/index.html

          1. Ok… sorry to bother you Renpure users again… when you say the pink bottle… do you mean the Sweet Pomegranate Cleansing Conditioner? Or do you mean, what appears to be the red bottle of My pretty hair is parched shampoo and conditioner? I would like to try their product. THANKS!

          2. Actually, it turns out I use the red one – “My savvy hair needs sleek!” It’s available on drugstore.com for $7 each, $14 total.

            I didn’t buy them for the dandruff, I’d given up on anything ever working, I bought them in a general switch to less chemicals, but they work like a charm.

            There is less lather than with traditional shampoos. Also, I’d definitely commit for 2-3 weeks and not use anything else to see if they work. I really, really like them and it is completely worth it to me to buy only online.

          3. I picked these up at the Ulta near my house. You might try to look there if you have one close!

    3. Neutrogena. Clear bottle with blue writing on it. I fogret the name and keep wanting to say T-Fal, but that’s probably not it! It’s a lifesaver!!

    4. Well, all dandruff shampoos are medicine, so they will smell like medicine. The best advice I’ve read is to keep changing the shampoo because the scalp becomes resistant to the active ingredient. Head & Shoulders is pretty good but my hair becomes really greasy the next day. Neutrogena T-gel is good but has a very strong tar scent. I’ve used Nizoral and Selsen Blue with good results also (they don’t smell as mediciney). So when one bottle finishes, I buy the other. And I use a conditioner to help with the scent. For monthly/weekly scalp maintenance, I douse my hair with oil, give my scalp a very strong combing, sleep on it overnight and shampoo it out the next day.

      1. There’s also Neutrogena T-Sal (with salicylic acid). I really disagree with people who say that it’s just product build up if one or two dandruff products don’t work. I’ve had dandruff basically since I hit puberty and Head and Shoulders, Neutrogena T-Gel, and Selsun Blue each worked ok for awhile, but then quit. Now I’m onto T-Sal, which has definitely been better than the rest. Head and Shoulders actually caused quite a bit of icky buildup on my roots, so while I used that, I had to also use a clarifying shampoo. I think my problem is that my scalp produces too much oil, which somehow leads to itchiness and flakes because it dries out (can’t really explain how oily skin manages to dry out, but it does). Anyway, the best thing for me is to just shampoo frequently (daily or at least every two days) with normal shampoo and then the T-Sal to keep the oil under control, then obviously a really good conditioner. It’s complicated, but my scalp is much less itchy/flaky – I even feel ok wearing black shirts – and my hair is super soft and silky.

        Basically, your daughter should try lots of different things if Head and Shoulders isn’t working. There are many products out there and everyone responds differently to them.

    5. I’m not sure what I have is actually dandruff – it may be more scalp psoriasis but I have had great luck w/ Jasons Tea Tree scalp normalizing shampoo and Organix tea tree conditioner. I also have to keep my hands off my scalp which is easier said than done. If I scratch at it, I’m flakes galore. If I leave it alone, I’m flake free.

    6. If you’re willing to rub oil into your scalp, I’ve found it works well for my (admittedly low-level, off and on) flakes. I do it before showering and let it sit for a while in the AM or over night. It will not stain things (like pillowcase), but you definitely are not presentable until you wash–the grease is obvious. Then you can use any shampoo or rotation of shampoos that you like. It actually feels nice and I think might be helping my hair health as well.

      I used to use Argan Oil but then tried regular J & J’s baby oil and found it worked just as well. Different scents are available. Baby oil is incredibly cheap and so you don’t have to feel bad about using generous amounts each time.

      1. Dandruff is caused by an over-proliferation of fungus on the scalp. Naturally, the body is teeming with various bacteria and fungi but problems crop up when there is an excess. The problem is further exacerbated because the scalp produces sebum, the fungus (Malassezia globosa) thrives on oleic acid–found in sebum, causing your scalp to flake.

        You can try:
        Neem oil is an antifungal and can help with dandruff, but it has a strong smell so you might have to mix with another carrier oil. A quick check on Wiki, also reveals that it can have an abortifacient effect so steer clear if pregnant. Rosemary essential oil might help, it has a sweet smell. It’s an essential oil, so it’s very potent, you have to mix into a carrier oil–jojoba is a great choice.

        Apple cider vinegar rinses help some people–but remember to DILUTE the vinegar!I have actually tried this and it worked. Use google to find some recipes. If shampoo, and all those suggestions don’t work, see a dermatologist.

    7. My hairstylist recommended some Aveda products to help with my occasional dandruff/dry scalp: I think it’s the balancing shampoo and matching conditioner. It’s really been helping my scalp even though it’s not strictly dandruff shampoo. Plus it smells pretty and the conditioner makes my hair insanely soft.

    8. Try head & shoulders clinical formula or whatever it’s called (in the dark blue bottle). My dermie recommended it and it’s been great for 10 years. Use whatever conditioner you want with it, so that should help with the greasy, too.

    9. We got a giant generic bottle of tea tree oil shampoo and conditioner from Sally’s that has really helped with my daughter’s flakes and greasy hair. Also using a clarifying shampoo once a week has also helped.

    10. I’ve done most of the above at one time or another since my teen years. I still haven’t decided whether I have ‘dandruff’ or some other condition like psoriasis. I do recommend rotating products, since one would work for a while then stop. I saw improvement when I switched to sulfate/silicone-free products, although I’m not sure if it was the product change or that I also started seriously combing my hair when I washed it. I spend a lot more time rubbing the teeth of the comb on my scalp for a couple of minutes and think it has made a big difference. I use Selsiun Blue about twice a month on just the problem areas.

      Good luck! And thanks for asking. I’m going to try some of these newer ideas, too.

    11. For anyone who thinks they’re fighting psoriasis vs dandruff, I encourage you to check in with a dermatologist. There’s a prescription shampoo (Clobex) that will take care of the problem super quickly, with no bad smell!

  13. Random but thoughts on Rosetta Stone? I need to learn a language with some degree of fluency but it isn’t commonly taught. I will do an immersion course next summer but thought I might be able to learn the basics on my own in order to expedite the process.

        1. My brother learned Dutch w RS and it was so easy and fun his 9-y-o started doing it over his shoulder and shocking his dad with random stuff he’d absorbed. They’ve started doing it together now and planning a trip. (Bro goes often himself, will take the little learner once too. :)

    2. I think you should try to find a community college class, local language group, or private tutor. I have about 6 years of college/graduate study of somewhat uncommonly learned language and once explored the Level 1 Rosetta Stone product for that language. It was laughable. I cannot even fathom how anybody could learn a language, especially a more ‘difficult’ one, using that platform. Maybe it might teach you enough to be able to ask where the bathroom is. But it’s in no way going to teach you the complexities and nuances of grammar, syntax, and usage that you’re going to need to really gain a functional capability in a language. For that, there is no substitute, in my mind, for formal education and practice in your choice language, especially when we’re older and language learning is no longer effortless and fluid.

      1. I know, maybe I can find someone on an exchange year. It’s a tough one because it’s much more important that I can read than speak (which makes software doubly unhelpful). I feel like maybe old fashioned textbooks would be good for this. I speak a romance language and a Slavic language but not the Germanic one in the middle.

        2. I speak basic Russian and a bunch of Germanic languages, and bet you’ll have an easy time with Dutch. It’s not dissimilar to English, really, and especially if you already speak a second language, the grammar shouldn’t be hard to figure out. The pronunciation is more difficult, but written language shouldn’t be that bad.

          I’m busy today at work, but I bet there is a dutch government site hoping to help you learn Dutch. There are definitely equivaletns in every other northern European country I’ve lived in. This might not be a bad free site to start at: http://www.forbeginners.info/dutch/ .

        3. First, you do speak a Germanic language – English! :)

          Thinking about resources for language learning – if there is a university near you, you could contact them. They might have a listserv or other way to contact students, faculty and alums to request a tutor or conversation partner. Good luck!

    3. On the off chance you live in DC, the language instructors at the foreign service school generally also take private students to tutor after work. I learned a less-common language this way. I found my tutor through a friend who is in the foreign service, but you possibly could just call up the school and ask.

      1. I think the Department of Agriculture has some sort of language school. Weird place for it, but for some reason I think it’s Ag. Yep – if you google Department of Ag language school you get Graduate School USA.

        Entirely unhelpful for the OP, as I think she is not even in the US, but maybe this will be helpful for someone else.

    4. I did French in college & always felt a little uncertain of my pronunciation. I used Rosetta Stone mostly just for vocab drills so that words like “bleue” didn’t make me feel so anxious. It was useful for me because I could practice a word fifteen times with my computer and didn’t stumble over new words as much in class.

      1. I am Dutch – living in the US. I used Dutch children’s books to teach my SO Dutch. There are Dutch schools in the US as well; they’re listed on the consulates’ websites and the embassy’s website. Veel plezier!

    5. I have no advice on courses / study methods, but if you live in a big city, you may want to look into NL Borrels for opportunities to hang out with Dutch expats.

    6. Thanks everyone! It is incredible that none of the universities in my current country offer academic Dutch. However, I did manage to find a Dutch for tourists which hopefully combined with self study and some tutoring will give me a bit of a start before I go next summer.

      The funny part is that my original proposal would have had me learning two not commonly taught languages. I should be grateful that I am down to one. Apparently my English is deterioriating as well, someone asked me if I was Québécois!

  15. Crazy mother vent. I just got blindsided by crazy mother emails. It is like somehow I pissed her off without even knowing it and then get 10 emails in response to how awful I am. I very well maybe awful Mom, but can you consolidate it into one scathing email and not flood my inbox? Thanks. Much appreciated. Your terrible, horrible, no good daughter.

    1. From the school of passive aggressive responses:

      Mom,

      I recently got inundated with a barrage of emails from your account. Your account must have been hacked because no sane person would send that many emails in a row to one person. I deleted all the emails without opening them and I suggest you change your password and warn your other contacts.

      Love,

      Your always thoughtful daughter

      2. LOVE IT!

        I’m going to use that one of these days.

        I have used, “your emails have been cheerfully deleted at no extra charge.”

        But my mom is the suffer in silence and/or complain to my sisters about me type, not the crazy email type.

        I’m so worried my kids are going to think I’m a pain in the ass someday. That’s really a when and not an if, but I’m worried it’s goign to break my heart.

        1. My mom is the “suffer in silence – but not really silence just telling everyone how awful you are”/send you emails 15 years later telling you about how awful you are for leaving out the milk that one time, or not appreciating the fact that she took you ice skating when you were 12 type.

          And you seem quite together mamabear, I’m sure your kids love you.

          1. Your post makes me grateful for the fact that my grandma has no motivation to figure out email.

      3. I think this is my new go to response. Thank you for this. It is nice to know that there is a support group for crazy emailing mothers.

        1. I have taught Gmail a rule that all emails from my mother skip my inbox and get put in a separate folder, which I may or may not look at every few days :).

        2. Is there one for moms who email, then call to tell you she emailed?

          Also when do I turn into that crazy mom, and how do I prevent that?

          2. Mine does this ALL THE TIME. Or will email to tell me she just left a voicemail and why haven’t I answered yet?

          3. I have recently realized that my mom was always crazy, but I just thought it was normal because that was my mom. I don’t think everyone turns into a crazy mom, but if they did I would suspect that it falls somewhere between when you get your period and when/if you get married. At least that is where I began to notice the crazy.

      4. My husband gets these from my stepdaughter’s mom. I envision her sitting at her computer, late at night, in the turret of a Transylvanian castle, with lightening striking all around, hacking at her keyboard, cackling the entire time, hitting send, and then starting all over again in a never-ending frenzy — like a bad cartoon or B movie.

        More seriously, we have instituted “low contact” (Google it), which means we do not respond unless absolutely necessary and then only to the critical portion (ie, “Yes, we will take Suzy to school Monday” but remaining silent in the face of the criticisms about his parenting skills.)

        Good luck.

        1. Hmmmm – low contact appears to be what my former deadbeat tenants used with me. Who knew there was a term for it. Example “dear tenant, your rent is now x days late. If you do not contact me by y date to work out a payment plan, I will begin eviction proceedings. You previously offered to set up direct deposit but I never got the email from your bank. Please confirm that you have requested the bank email me again. Lastly, the furnace needs to be serviced next week. Please provide a day and time you will be home.” Response – “The furnace guy can come Thursday at 4.”

        2. We had one of those too and used to respond with a blank email every time.

    2. Oh, I thought you were talking about crazy mother of one of your kids friends. Because those are the emails I get.

      Yesterday, I got a comment for leaving my 11 year old daughter in the car (her choice) on a cool, foggy morning while I was 5 feet away signing my son into day camp.

      1. HA, one time somebody stopped me on a 60 degree day to inform me how irresponsible I am for not putting sweaters on my dogs for their walk because they were *obviously* freezing.

      2. I’m sorry, wtf? If your 11 year old daughter can’t open the door and get out if she gets too warm or whatever, she’s got bigger problems than having been left in the car. People are crazy.

      3. Dude, when I was 11 I took the city bus an hour a day by myself to school and back and walked 2 miles to gymnastics practice after school. People need to chill the f out.

      4. My sister lets her 9 and 10 year old ride their bikes to swim practice every morning. I guess I should call CPS.

        1. haha

          Yeah, the worst part is that the sanctimommy said it to my daughter, not me, though it was in one of those stage voices so that she could be sure I heard (because I was 5 feet away). “YOUR MOM LEFT YOU IN THE CAR BY BY YOURSELF? TSK!”

          And my daughter had that pre-teen sort of embarrassed/self-conscious thing going on, plus she was probably secretly wondering if I had been abusing her all this time, and she just hadn’t noticed.

          1. Ha, sanctimommy [sic]. You should trademark that. Also, oh Berkeley. *Eyeroll*

          2. “plus she was probably secretly wondering if I had been abusing her all this time, and she just hadn’t noticed.”

            LMAO. Waiting for my girls to reach that realization!

    3. OMG – this happened daily during the 18 months between when I got engaged and the wedding. Happens daily around the holidays and my birthday. Almost all e-mails are sent between 10 pm and 3 am.

      Depending on my mood, I either (1) delete all e-mails and leave her a voicemail saying “I’m super busy right now but saw you e-mailed; didn’t have time to read them but what’s up? I’m free at [x] time if you want to call.” She either doesn’t call back or calls back sane. (2) I call my dad, freak out, and I get a sheepish apology from either him or mom within a few hours.

      My theory is that my mom had to work so hard for 20+ years keeping everything running day to day that she used up her “functioning normally” bandwidth and now has to operate on alternative channels, and the “I’m insane” channel just pops into the rotation now and then (sometimes “June Cleaver” also pops into the rotation, which is terrifying).

  16. SO’s bar call on Tuesday. His firm is throwing him a dinner and his call (it is at 1pm on a Tuesday) should be a party as well.

    I am wondering if I am required to do something – buy him a fancy watch or a fancy pen set or something. I do not want to draw attention to the fact that he become a lawyer after me, and honestly I just bought him a piece of art for his office, two pairs of new shoes and a new suit so he’s gotten plenty of stuff. I am suspicious he will be miffed if he doesn’t get a present but he’s gotten plenty. I don’t want to bake anything – I suck at baking. His firm is already getting him lunch and dinner.

    Like – could I just buy him a nice bottle of scotch?

    1. Why does he need a gift? I don’t think I know anyone who got a gift for passing the bar/being admitted to the bar.

      1. Ah! Sorry, I should have said I’m in Canada. We’re not lawyers until we pass the bar (either exams or a course or both) and are formally called. Basically you work for 13 months after law school to become a lawyer in my province.

      2. I know (I deduced from your post – “bar call” – that you are in Canada). Doesn’t change my answer though – I still don’t think I know anyone who got a gift for becoming a lawyer. But if you want to give him something, then I think whatever you choose will be great! Just don’t feel obligated.

        1. Interesting – I really thought the party and the gifts and such were standard. Maybe it’s just limited to Western Canada or my friends and I are overly entitled. ^_^

          1. The party and gifts are standard- I’m pretty sure that all the bigger firms give receptions for their new associates. But yeah, we’re also probably overly entitled.

        2. I’m with Major Kusanagi here on this. He’s gotten plenty of gifts from you already. Don’t feel obligated, but if you do, don’t spend a ton.

          Is your guy oversensitive? Why would you be so concerned about not drawing attention to his being a lawyer after you? I mean, that’s a fact, right? If he gets bent out of shape about that and yet still wants a gift, then you’re dating a diva. Think Maria Callas in the role of overly dramatic Tosca, but trapped in a male lawyer’s body.

          1. Ah well – I think he gets ribbeed about it quite a bit – in a friendly way though.

            And yes – he is very sensitive about gifts. I am a big believer in buying things that are high quality when needed and not on buying things just for the sake of buying things.

            He is a big believer in marking occasions with stuff and I am not – this means I have not gotten one gift from him that I liked and he has not gotten any gifts from me on occasions but I regularly replace his stuff when it needs replacing.

          2. Oh wow! Are you perchance dating someone raised by Hobbits? It does sound like he wants to show that he’s thinking of you by marking occasions and events with gifts. :-)

            Hobbits are very fond of giving and receiving gifts, but generally less keen on the actual objects themselves. These ultimately unwanted objects, called “mathoms” tend to clutter up hobbit-holes unless stored in the Mathom Houses (Museums!)

            I have Hobbit relatives, but I’m a shameless re-gifter/donor of unwanted gifts.

          3. He bought me a watch for my bar call. I realize that this is a personal defect but I cannot tell time on a clock face watch with no numbers.

          4. LOL!

            I’m imagining that if you pointed out that you’d prefer a watchface with numbers, he’d buy you a sundial with numbers for some other future event and then you’d be wondering– what do I do with this giant, stone sundial???

          5. hahaha! he does really mean well. I have tried to wear the watch but someone once asked me for the time and it was SO awkward

      3. My sig. o. gave me a gift for passing the bar. It’s the thought that counts! A bottle of scotch would be great. Obviously the answer to whether you are “required” to buy him something would be no.

    2. I think a nice bottle of scotch would be quite generous of you. I did not receive presents on the day I was sworn into the bar, and I’m not aware that anyone else I know did, either. A nice dinner or flowers (if he likes them) or a bottle of scotch would probably all be appropriate ways to mark the occasion if you are so inclined.

    3. Also in Canada (obviously) – my parents bought me a “grown-up” watch for my bar call. My SO said he would buy me something but didn’t… (something I’m just realizing now). I think maybe a nice pen set or card holder for his desk would be perfect?

    4. It’s bar call season! I’m so very much looking forward to mine, it’ s soon, I can taste it (and I need to find some robes to borrow…)

      I don’t think Motoko gets the significance of a bar call here in Canada- I feel like it’s different somehow here…I don’t know…I think perhaps our swearing in ceremony is a little more ceremonial (I’m also in Western Canada…)

      Honestly, I think you need to get him something. I’d be a little sad if I had a significant other and he didn’t bother commemorate the occasion somehow. I don’t think you need to spend a ton (I’d probably personally be happy with flowers, but I love flowers).

      I think a bottle of scotch would be great, or a nice card holder, or a nice pen, something office-ey.

      1. It’s really that big a deal? There are millions of lawyers in the world. Congrats on becoming one of them.

        1. Yes. It is that big a deal.

          There are few things in this life that are *truly* worth celebrating, and I’ve decided that 4 years of working towards a goal and achieving it is a big deal.

          It’s sort of like pregnant women. I am really genuinely happy for every single woman who wants to have a baby and gets pregnant, and has a baby. I do not care that there are millions of other pregnant women, or that billions of women have given birth in the past. I recognize that it is a big deal for them, and I am honestly happy and excited for them.

          Just because others have done it, doesn’t mean that it’s not objectively and subjectively a big deal or special in some way.

          1. Personally I felt more accomplished when I passed the bar exam than when I graduated law school. Maybe because I’d gotten degrees before the JD, but the bar exam was grueling and overwhelming . . .

          2. Excellent response Equity’s Darling and yes, even in the US it is a big deal to graduate law school and pass the bar. In my case, my family made a bigger deal of it then they do weddings as I’m the first in my family (including extended family) to go to college.

          1. Eh. Disagree. I am a lawyer, so it’s not like I’m jealous of your super-special club or something. It’s just a job. If her SO wants a gift, then go ahead and get him one. But your post made it sound like this was like a religious conversion or something –

            “I don’t think Motoko gets the significance of a bar call here in Canada- I feel like it’s different somehow here…”

        3. But its not anymore significant than becoming a lawyer in any other country. I get that you guys celebrate a lot more but it seems like you guys go way overboard.

          That said I think its nice to commerate it. My bf got me flowers

          1. I never said it was more significant to be a lawyer in Canada than to be one in any other country.

            I just think that we view it differently here (as in, we think it is more significant to be called to the bar- regardless of the country- we just think it is a bigger deal period)

          2. In the US we often take celebratory vacations after passing the bar – I’m sure you’re familiar with that. I’m pretty sure dropping 2K on a trip to Europe is going overboard more than sending flowers or buying a watch.

          3. Bluejay I didn’t know anyone who did that, but I totally agree that is pretty overboard. I didn’t mean my post to sound as defensive as it did, but I was just taking that “i don’t think you get how significant it is here” I didn’t mean its not significant (I was obviously so excited and my family very proud) Just that yes its a big deal, but its not the biggest deal and she has already gotten him many gifts.

        4. Good grief. Why are people so salty about this? I’m American, and to my friends and family, and to me, becoming a lawyer was a big deal. Some people bought me gifts. Obviously, a gift is not required, but it sounds like it would mean a lot to him, so if your finances can handle it, I’d mark the occasion with something.

          1. At a certain point to me anyway it gets absurd.

            There was a law school end of exams party, a law school commencement party, a one year at his firm party and now a bar call party that looks like it is going to start at noon and go all evening. I mean.. he is becoming a lawyer – he didn’t win a Nobel.

            My friends who were engineers celebrated ONE TIME and that was it.

        5. Wow! What’s with that snark? Many events that people celebrate make them one of millions (becoming parents, graduating high school/college/grad school, getting married, retiring . . .).

          If an event is important to your SO, why wouldn’t you go out of your way to celebrate it? IMHO, there should be give and take in a relationship on how you acknowlege important events. So in OP’s case, I would think that she should mark the event with a gift — maybe a meaningful trinket — since her SO likes to mark occasions with gifts. Likewise, I think OP’s SO should tone down quantity in favor of quality for OP and be more willing to simply say or do something to acknowlege less traditional events.

    5. Also in Western Canada. Yes, you should get him something. When I was called I got a beautiful, fancy pen from my uncle and a nice bag/briefcase from my parents. I think a fancy pen is a nice idea since it is something he can use forever.

    6. If you want to do more than just a bottle of scotch, you could also get a set of scotch rocks to go with.

        1. I must admit that I am a nondrinker, but I have seen these recommended several places: http://www.popdeluxe.net/whisky-whiskey-stones-teroforma.html.

          Those are specifically called whiskey stones, but I’ve also heard them referred to as Scotch Rocks. The intent is that if you keep them in the freezer, they chill the drink without diluting it, as ice would. Maybe someone who is experienced in these things can throw in their two cents as well!

    7. My friends pooled money and bought me a video game when I passed the bar. I suspect this response to be totally unhelpful.

      1. Well honestly I am looking at getting a new computer so he can play diablo 3 and so our household can have a computer that works – (my laptop crashed yesterday and his has run though two batteries and needs a new battery so this is a gift I can feel okay with).

        1. I’ll throw an unsolicited recommendation out for newegg on computer shopping! They have great tools for comparison shopping and finding machines that actually do what you want without things you don’t need (like, I don’t need 3D glasses for my laptop…).

          1. Possibly I should have done that! He wanted a MacBookPro so I got a nice refurbished one from the standard store – It’ll be a nice treat from our household.. It’ll arrive on the day of his call so if he is not super drunk he can finally play Diablo 3. Fits his need for a gift and my need for utility. ^_^

    8. Also Canadian – Bit late to this party but I got my BF artwork for his office when he was called to the bar. He got me a business card holder, some earrings, and took me out for supper. Both of our firms had parties as is common in my region. Other friends from law school I know have done things for SOs like watches, or if you want to get really nerdy, a hard cover law dictionary for his office, etc. A partner at my office has a pen with his name on it that his wife got him for his bar call – back in the 1970s. He still uses it. I think it’s sweet.

  17. Any tips to help polish up my look in the hot weather? I usually rely on blazers or cardigans to keep me from looking too blah, but that’s not an option once it gets warm.

    1. Aviators and seersucker? :-)

      But seriously folks, maybe up the jewelry and throw on a nice scarf if it isn’t too hot?

      1. I can get on board with jewelry, but the idea of a scarf in the summer makes me slightly ill. Don’t get me wrong – I think they look cute, and if your internal body temperature permits you to rock this look, I’m envious. As a warm-blooded individual, I’m scarf-free from at least May through September.

        1. Ditto. I keep buying these cute, lightweight scarves and envisioning myself looking oh-so-chick in them all summer long. And then I am effing hot after 4 minutes. Can’t do it.

    3. I have this top in Navy and love it for summer (despite its long sleeves– push them up). The fabric is super light weight, and the embroidery + a few nice pieces of jewelry / cute shoes will make you look really put together.
      http://www.lillypulitzer.com/product/Tops-Bottoms/Women/Tops-Tunics/entity/pc/43/c/44/sc/45/3867.uts?

      Also, I’m a little ashamed to admit this, but one of my summer go tos is a white Hollister skirt (like this one: http://www.hollisterco.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10201&storeId=10251&langId=-1&categoryId=12595&parentCategoryId=12595&topCategoryId=12552&productId=980167) paired with a cute tank or a colorful polo tee.

    4. My comment is stuck in moderation because of links but I’ll summarize:
      * Lightweight tunic blouse + jewelry / shoes.
      * White skirt + colored tank/short-sleeve polo + cute jewelry + sandals.

      1. Nice! Now, the question becomes: can I cobble together some semblance of these looks without a shopping spree???

    5. 1) skirts almost always look dressier than pants
      2) wear a loose, lightweight blouse tucked in
      3) keep a third piece (cardigan, jacket) in your office for meetings or chilly A/C

  18. I LOVE the pattern on this dress. It is so hard to find good office appropriate not too patterns on lesser quality dresses, especially if you care about not growing tired of it after wearing it twice.

  19. Good luck to all taking the bar! There is still lots of time!

    PSA: the deadline to register for the MPRE is in two days i believe.

  20. Any recommendations for coffee pods (Keurig) to send overseas to SO? Generally just takes coffee plain/medium roast, but I could send a fancy coffee pod – he does like caramel lattes. He’s had the Starbucks pods, but what about Green Mountain? Thank you!

  21. Food TJ: I’ve been having this problem lately where I’m ravenous when I wake up in the morning and have to eat enormous amounts of food so that I stop feeling like I’m going to faint. Then I’m so stuffed that I can’t work. E.g., this morning, I ate a bagel with eggs and cheese, a bowl of oatmeal, a yogurt, and a banana. I eat a reasonable dinner and am not hungry when I go to bed (and I eat dinner at 8:30 and go to bed at 10:00, so there’s no time for a pre-bed snack). E.g., last night, I ate a bowl of black bean chili, a salad, a TJs asiago cheese roll (delicious, btw) and half a pint of strawberries. I haven’t changed my exercise regimen. Any suggestions?

    1. Do you eat fast? It takes about 20 minutes for your brain to realize you’re full so if you eat more slowly, you will usually feel fuller with less food. If you eat too fast, which I can see happening in morning grogginess, your brain doesn’t have time to register that you’re full so you keep eating and then you feel overly stuffed as a result. Maybe not, of course, but I would try slowing down to see if it helps.

      1. This. If you’re ending up feeling overly full, I would try eating what you consider a normal breakfast – maybe something like oatmeal and some fruit – and waiting for 20 min after you finish that before eating anything else.

      1. I think so. I have already had 24 oz. this morning (I’m on the West Coast, so it’s still early here).

    4. How long has this been going on? Could this be hormonal? I find that during certain times of my cycle, I cannot eat enough.

      1. Perhaps. I have a 9.5 mo. old baby and still haven’t gotten my period back, so I have no idea where I am hormonally. Thinking back a year and a half when I had normal cycles, I did get really hungry the week before my period, so maybe this will go away in a week.

        1. Are you nursing? I was always ravenous when nursing. I think the suggestion of eating breakfast and then forcing yourself to wait before eating more is a good one.

    5. I have gone through this before, but it was right after increasing my exercise routine by a lot.

      I actually followed the advice given to pregnant women — I kept a sleeve of plain crackers by my bed and ate a few of them before getting up. Then I’d get ready and eat a normal breakfast and normally otherwise throughout the day. Worked like a charm.

    6. I get very hungry in the morning, too, though I’ve never felt faint–sounds awful for you! Have you had your blood sugar checked?

      1. Not recently. I’ve had to cancel this year’s physical three times because of work. It’s always been normal in the past, but I will make sure to have it looked at when I manage to keep the appointment.

        1. I have relatives who need to eat low glycemic foods–it seems to help them feel steadier throughout the day. Hope you find something that helps you :)

    7. Try less carbs, more protein in your morning breakfast and your dinner. Ditch the bagel and the oatmeal – 2 eggs and cheese, yogurt, banana. As for the chili, I think I recall that bean protein is an incomplete protein, so you need to eat something else (rice?) to make it a complete protein. Also, drink a lot more water – a full glass before bed and right when you wake up.

      1. A legume (beans, lentils, etc) + a grain (rice, corn, wheat, barley, oats, etc — and the wheat in the asiago cheese roll would qualify) = a complete protein. The old advice was that they had to be in the same dish, but that’s no longer recognized as necessary — just combine legume + grain sometime in the day. Of course, whole grains contain more protein.

    8. Struck by posting too quickly, so I’m resorting to a global reply. I will try eating more slowly; I probably was eating too quickly because I was afraid that if I didn’t eat huge amounts of food right.this.minute I would faint. Yesterday I did eat at a more measured pace (I had an 8:15 meeting, so I ate a yogurt beforehand, and couldn’t eat any other food until afterwards), but felt similarly gross.

      SFBA, I think you may be right about the protein/carb ratio. I’m a vegetarian, so it’s hard to eat protein w/o carbs. I try to be mindful of it, but sometimes I do better than others. Normally I don’t eat eggs at breakfast, but I was just so hungry today that I stopped and bought some because I knew that the food I had at the office wasn’t going to cut it.

      And I think the suggestion to eat right after getting up is a good one. For the past 3 years, I’ve gotten up, driven to the gym, worked out and gone to the office before eating breakfast, with no issues. Since it hasn’t been working recently, I’m going to try to eat a protein bar before leaving the house to see if that stops the faint feeling.

      Now if only my nausea would subside so that I could concentrate on writing this brief. Too much blood to the digestive organs, and too little to the brain -(

      1. So, between the n0-period, the waking up feeling ravenous/faint, and then subsequently feeling nauseous after eating…are you pregnant?

        3. I thought this too when I read through the first time. Maybe do a pregnancy test to check it out. Also, if you haven’t changed your exercise routine, are you breast feeding? Have you ramped up your breast feeding schedule recently. I don’t have kids, but I remember my mom telling me that you go through ramping up periods where you need to produce more milk. Maybe this is to blame?

      2. Not to freak you out or anything, but ravenously hungry + nausea… is there any chance you could be pregnant?

      3. I agree with the wonderful advice above, but, speaking as a low-blood-pressure-frequently-fainty person, just wanted to add that the more you feel afraid you’re going to faint, the worse and longer the fainty feeling can last. “Mind over matter” has worked for me re: this (noting that this worked for me only because I KNEW that nothing physically dangerous was happening to me and I just needed to eat any amount of food). Good luck!

    9. Maybe try eating dinner earlier or eating a lighter dinner? I find that when I eat a big dinner right before going to sleep I am pretty ravenous in the morning. When I eat a lighter dinner or eat earlier, having time to digest before sleeping, I’m not nearly as hungry when I wake up.

  23. Travel advice from DC-based people, please.

    I am taking the Bolt Bus to NYC at 8:30 saturday morning. I live in Silver Spring. Should I drive to Union Station and park there (probably would leave my house by 7:15), paying I think $44 to do so (coming back sunday evening), or should I take the metro from Bethesda where I can park for free? I’d probably try to catch a 7:15ish train, so would leave home slightly before 7am.

    I am trying to decide which stresses me out less – relying on metro or assuming there will be parking at Union Station. I’m not crazy about the $44 to park, but it’s not a total deal-breaker.

    Thanks for any advice! Oh, there is track work on the Red Line saturday, but between Takoma and Glenmont – metro says allow an extra 15 minutes of travel.

    1. If you’re coming back Sunday evening and you need to go to work on Monday, I would say to maybe suck it up and park at Union Station so you can drive home. I am a veteran weekend train traveler (I was riding the NE corridor line weekly for awhile) and metro is so slow and unreliable on the weekends, especially in the evenings. After a long bus trip, the last thing you want is a 2 hour trip home between waiting for metro, dealing with the single tracking, etc. Traffic should be nonexistent on Saturday morning and late Sunday evening, so driving is probably quicker and more efficient.

      1. That’s what I was thinking, wrt to driving and not having to wait for metro. The $44 is vexing, because I can take Vamoose and park for free in Bethesda. A friend planned the trip, and while I am grateful to her for taking charge and planning it, I wish she had asked before booking the bus tickets. Oh well. I guess the $44 is accounted for by a pair of shoes I just returned.

        Do you know if it’s ever hard to find parking at that station on a saturday morning? It seems pretty big, but I am paranoid.

        1. We’ve parked at Union Station a few times, including in the morning of a regular weekday and we found parking. I can’t vouch 100% for availability, but I think you have a good/normal/nothing to be worried about chance of finding a spot somewhere in the garage. I feel that DC proper really empties out on the weekends, especially now as a lot of the government stuff is winding down, so I think you should be fine.

          Totally understand about metro/which routes to take/etc., but sometimes the convenience and quickness of driving is worth a bit of a price. Really it’s going to take you a million years to get home on metro on a Sunday evening, especially if you are riding the line kind of far as such. Don’t do it. Just drive and be home in probably 1/3 the time.

        2. I parked there at like 10 AM on a Friday, and had no problems finding a spot. I’d imagine the earlier you get, the easier it’ll be.

    2. I second the driving, but for the other reason: the Metro has been crazy unreliable lately, and relying on it to get me to a Sat morning train is a recipe for panic attacks for me. Esp. on a Saturday, if you miss one train, or there is one delay, it is forever till the next train. Paying sucks, but I personally would rather do that than trust the Metro.

      1. oh, and to your second question: I have not had trouble finding parking in the garage on weekends, esp if you are there before 9am. Not that I’ve done it that many times, so these are completely unscientific results, but I think you should be ok. Just make sure to get there early enough, like at 8:00.

    3. Thanks for all the advice. I probably will suck it up and drive. I intend to be at the garage by 8 am at the latest on saturday morning, so it sounds like the odds are good I’ll find a space. DC does seem a lot emptier lately. I agree with everyone about metro, too, especially evening and weekends. I belong to a book club that often meets in DC (everyone takes turns hosting) and although taking the metro would make sense and be quick on the way down, it is such a drag to wait for it in the evening. Taking metro could take 45 minutes when I could drive home in 15.

      Metro is very frustrating.

  24. On Friday I asked the hive advice about contacting a guy I’d met on the 4th and whether I should reach out to him. All the great advice on here helped me realize that I wouldn’t want a guy anyway who freaked out about a forward female and I figured I should follow up with you helpful ladies. So on Friday I added him on facebook and he instantly sent me a message. Long story short? He thought my abrupt departure and the fact that I didn’t at least write down my number for him before I left meant that I didn’t like him! He would not have tracked me down on his own since he thought I’d already rejected him, so I almost missed out. Since Friday, we’ve either seen each other or talked everyday, which just goes to show you that sometimes it’s worth taking a risk reaching out to a guy and not automatically assuming that he’s just not that into you because he didn’t act in an archetypal male way. Sometimes boys overthink things too and assume that you don’t like them. So thanks again for the help!

    4. Yay! Good for you.

      And, despite that I was the voice of the Loyal Opposition, you now have me questioning what I should do re a cute guy I met recently. Hm. *ponder*

      1. Yeah, your stories sounded a lot like my past experiences, so I think we’ve probably run into the same types of guys before. Maybe I’m getting a little more reckless in my old age, but I figure that I don’t really have much to lose. I mean, if the guy is scared by a forward girl, we’re not going to work out anyway and I might as well figure it out sooner rather than later. So I say go for it with regards to the cute new guy!

    6. Yay!!! so happy for you ;o) and Yay for a boy that doesn’t think: ew, this girl is so ccraaazzyyy!

  25. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a
    lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with some pics to
    drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog.
    An excellent read. I will definitely be back.

  26. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and
    I’m impressed! Very useful info specifically the last part :) I care for such information much. I was looking for this particular info for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

Comments are closed.