ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 261 Comments

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Elbe Blouse

woman wears black stretchy button-front blouse

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I tend to shy away from blouses with buttons because of fit issues (who’s got time for awkward gaping?), but I’m always on the lookout for a top that solves those issues. This “liquid jersey” blouse from Universal Standard has the classic button-up silhouette but is made from a fabric with a bit of stretch and has extra snaps in between the problematic buttons.

The black color would be a great neutral to have on hand, but it also comes in anemone (pink) and malt ball (beige). 

The top is $94 at Universal Standard and comes in sizes 0-40.

Sales of note for 12.5

261 Comments

  1. I am attending a work conference. I am hungover. I never get hungover. I don’t know what to do. I have a short presentation in 4-5 hours. Ideas?

      1. This except for the coffee. It will dehydrate you more and potentially upset your stomach.

    2. All the fluids and food if you can handle it. It will wear off in due time. I usually like a bagel plan or something else carb-y. You got this!!

    3. Full sugar coke, excedrin migraine, and an Advil. If you can stomach food something starchy and salty would be good (chips/toast/etc). Feel better soon!!

    5. Gatorade, Advil, some fresh air if possible. A bagel or toast or whatever you can stomach. Then even more fluids to drink. Hopefully you should feel much better in a few hours.

      1. Orange gatorade or yellow; ice cold; do not mess with the other flavors right now unless you know that they work for you.

      1. This. Otherwise drink as much pedialyte or Gatorade as you can and try to eat something filling and well, not so healthy! Also for your presentation, wear flats if possible.

    7. If not liquid iv, nuun, pedialyte, maybe Gatorade – as much as you can stomach. Coffee right before the event if you want but not like 2 hours before.

    8. Ibuprofen and Gatorade, sleep, and then a Diet Coke and eat something that appeals to you. If you aren’t actively throwing up you’ll probably have enough adrenaline to power through the presentarion.

    9. McDonald’s fries and a Coke. And go to a drugstore for electrolyte powder – better than Gatorade.

    10. If no IV is available, drink a medium sized gatorade (the full sugar version), have a diet coke for caffeine and to settle your stomach, and eat something salty and heavy, like McDonalds breakfast sandwich + hashbrown. Perhaps take an Advil Cold & Sinus pill for headache relief and a general pep up. Lie down for an hour if you can. Know that even if you’re feeling pretty crappy, the adrenaline and activity of the presentation will distract you while you’re making it.

    12. Allaseltzer hangover if the drugstore has it, amazing stuff. Plus the other suggestions too.

    13. If you can find a bacon egg and cheese breakfast sandwich, that will probably help. Sugary foods make me even sicker when I’m hung over; I need protein. If there’s a Starbucks near you, get some egg bites and a pack of crackers.
      Then chug a Gatorade and take two Excedrin Migraine, or barring that, take two Tylenol and drink a cup of coffee. (The Excedrin has caffeine in it so I don’t recommend taking the Excedrin and drinking the coffee).
      Keep drinking Gatorade throughout the day to rehydrate yourself. Try to get to bed early tonight (no more partying, you party animal! lol)
      Good luck!

    14. Drink water and go back to bed. Set an alarm so you’re up in time for your presentation. Good luck!

    15. I am not OP but so curious about the IV recommendations. Is there like a store or something that offers IVs? I think of them as a hospital thing

      1. In Vegas and Miami you can get them in the back of nightclubs!! And they have them at “spa” type places. It grossed me out but pretty common.

        1. In Vegas, Key West, Miami, they will come to your hotel. Personally, I’ve used a wellness center for IV fluids after a horrible food poisoning episode. Huge lifesaver!

      2. There are a bunch of chain clinics that offer various types of IVs for $150ish per pop. I think they usually provide a nice comfy environment to relax in while you receive the treatment for 30 min or whatever.

      3. They’re basically medi-spas that offer hydration and nutrients in IV form. The people working in the place have to be nurses of some kind to be able to put the IVs in. You go in, sit in a comfy lounge chair, they put the IV in, you snooze or scroll on your phone for an hour or so, afterward you feel better and you got hydration that bypassed your stomach, which may be roiling from last night’s alcohol overindulgence. I am not in Vegas or Miami but we have a place in our city that does them and also offers B-12 shots. Never done the IVs but I go in and get a shot every so often; makes me feel amazingly energetic, especially after I’ve been sick and am trying to get through recovery faster.

    16. Hangovers are dehydration and electrolyte imbalance. Electrolytes packet or Gatorade, hydrate if you can, eggs are best for vitamin B loss or a vitamin B supplement with a carb breakfast. It will take a few hrs for the body to rebalance

  2. what’s the quality like on lulu’s dresses? i assume not great at the price point but OK for a one off? i’m 48 years old, reasonably trim… My boyfriend’s niece is getting married and his ex wife and his whole family will be there so i would like to look on trend/ hip/ basically terrific. need a dress for wedding and rehearsal dinner and was thinking:

    https://www.lulus.com/products/such-sophistication-yellow-floral-print-pleated-maxi-dress/1400736.html

    and

    https://www.lulus.com/products/floral-dressed-up-dusty-blue-floral-print-midi-dress/887402.html

    1. Honestly I love Lulus and I’m 37! It’s not terrible quality. Much better than something like shein. I have a few dresses from Lulus that I love and my friend just wore one to a wedding.

    2. I’m 29 and pretty much everyone I know wears Lulus dresses to every wedding they go to.

      Quality is fine – it’s a little apples to oranges, but I would say it is roughly equivalent to LOFT, etc quality.

    3. I’m 29 and pretty much everyone I know wears Lulus dresses to every wedding they go to.

      Quality is fine – it’s a little apples to oranges, but I would say it is roughly equivalent to LOFT, etc quality.

      1. I think their sizing is a little hit or miss and depends on the style. For example, their flowy wrap dresses are too low cut for me since I’m an XS/0/00. It just doesn’t fit right. I’d buy in two sizes and return the one that doesn’t fit.

    1. I just have a basic chain necklace that I pretty much wear all of the time.

      Late 20s and my friends are either basic chains (of different designs) or a chain with a small charm / pendant.

    2. i’m big into the layering chains. i wear two of different lengths. today wearing a shorter diamond by the yard that has to be 25 years old and a longer chain with those discs with my kids’ initials. i also have a paperclip chain that i wear with a longer beaded chain with a heart.

    4. I have a wire wrapped pearl strand that sits at my collarbone and I wear it together with a gold chain with multiple pendants.

  4. What in the bleeping-bleep is the trick to wearing linen? I just bought two blazers, one Boden and one Loft, that are linen. I’ve previously never owned linen. After one wear they’re unwearable. And, halfway through the day they look like complete trash.

    I used an iron on one this morning and it looks…..okkkk? ish? Would a steamer be more impactful than an iron? After the iron, the wrinkles are no loner crisp or deep but you can definitely see the folds, if that makes sense.

      2. This. It’s the hallmark of linen. I firmly believe that there are polyester people and there are linen people and they will never ever get each others’ preferences.

        1. Yes, this. See also, granite people vs soapstone people. I am a linen and a soapstone person.

          2. The fact that I have all of about seven linear feet of counter in my tiny kitchen helps!

      3. Yes, it’s always going to be wrinkly. I think ironing actually makes the situation worse because then it is so crisp that every wrinkle is extra prominent. Just steam or hang in the bathroom while you shower so that it isn’t crazy wrinkled but still has some of the normal wrinkles. That’s always the best compromise, in my experience. Also, I think it helps if you live somewhere where people are used to seeing linen. I’m in the south and no one bats an eye at wrinkled linen – and linen outfits get lots of compliments!

      4. Right. That’s the look, actually; really crisp ironed linen comes across as overly stuffy and formal. It’s supposed to be a relaxed, more casual look and silhouette. If OP can’t embrace that, wearing linen may not be for her.

    4. A steamer works better than an iron. If the blazers aren’t lined, though, they are going to be a little rumply no matter what. That’s the nature of linen.

        1. My lined linen blazers don’t wrinkle much if I have them dry cleaned and pressed at the cleaner’s.

    5. This is what linen does. It wrinkles, and it wrinkles badly. And yes, you need steam or water to help those wrinkles release — dry heat won’t do it.

      I have a spray bottle of plain water that I use to heavily mist all my linen clothes, then shake them out to help the wrinkles release and hang them up to dry (overnight). I touch up with an iron if needed (again using that mister bottle). But I rarely buy the kind of linen that needs a crisp finish. I prefer items that look ok somewhat rumply and messy. Because that’s what linen does, so they’re going to end up rumply and messy. Some people manage to keep linen pristine; I do not understand this.

      1. This is why I avoid *structured* linen. Structure is not appropriate for the fabric type. It will stretch, it will wrinkle, and therefore it is a casual fabric, not a formal one, and does not belong in formal/structured clothes.

    7. I own linen pants I love, and a number of shorts for hot days, but don’t wear them for polished professional occasions because it just wrinkles. For casual wear, I just consider it part of wearing linen.

    10. To some extent that’s just the texture of the fabric, it’s going to be sort of crinkled and not crisp. But are you talking about really defined creases from wear, like from sitting? Try ironing with starch. I hate using starch but sometimes it’s the only thing that works.

      1. I used to have a BB Irish linen skirt suit. The dry cleaners always starched it pretty heavily, and I felt like it just made the sitting creases look like they had been ironed in. Which was fine, because I am Team Linen.

    11. This is how linen looks and how people wear it. If it’s not for you that’s ok. You don’t have to look sharp and pressed in linen.

    12. Thanks, all. The linen life is no life for me! I knew wrinkles were to be expected, but holy bananas. They’re lined, not stretching, to answer some other questions asked. It’s probably just doing what its supposed to.

      I have been thinking of getting a steamer for some time so maybe I make that jump. Until then, I’ll embrace it and avoid purchasing linen ever again.

  5. The readers here are so good with personal finance questions, and I need help deciding whether to continue a term life insurance policy when the reasons for getting the policy are no longer true.
    Spouse and I got 30-year term life insurance policies about 15 years ago. Back then, we had little savings and net worth. We were starting our family, and the death of one of us would have put the surviving spouse in a lot of financial stress, and if we both died, our kids would be a financial burden to whoever became their guardian.
    Our situation is much different now with a house that’s 75% paid off and has a manageable, fixed mortgage and about one million in savings. If one of us died, the surviving spouse would be okay without the insurance money and could continue to have the same lifestyle until the kids become adults and then sell the house and downsize. Long term financial situation would not be as good but they’d be no means be destitute.
    How long should we continue the insurance? Other potentially relevant info: spouse and I are both healthy, 30-year term will end in our early 60s, one policy has a premium that is 3x the other due to family history of cancer that has only gotten worse in the past 15 years.

    1. What if you linger but don’t die? I used to work on viatical settlements to the point where I don’t fear a quick death but do fear a prolonged one, especially financially. If you have a terminal diagnosis and a timeline, you can often get your life insurance money before death in a viatical settlement to help live your remaining years in comfort (and to fund a spouse leaving a job to help manage that and the household). So I’d keep it, b/c once you need life insurance or that pot of $, you won’t be able to get it again at any cost.

        1. +1

          But I have seen some things covered like loss of limbs/paraplegia/tetraplegia. So, almost like a “death” of part of the body.

          1. Viatical settlement poster and while I thought it would all be AIDS-related, it almost always was some other terminal diagnosis with a set window of life expectancy left (never more than 3 years, often less than 1). It was what got me religion about T2 diabetes, b/c most of them were multi-system organ failure from poorly managed T2 diabetes (so if you kidneys go and you’ve already had amputations or your circulation is so bad that your feet have gangrene, this may be when you need the viatical settlement $).

    2. I wouldn’t drop a term life insurance policy unless the premium was a hardship, especially not until the kids are out of college. I know too many middle-aged people who have died of cancer etc. leaving kids behind.

    3. In your situation I would still want some insurance to pay off the remaining mortgage, cover some time off work, and cover the kids college and “start in life” type things – car, wedding, etc. Not sure what your current coverage is (or why your premium increased – ours bought under similar circumstances is locked in for the life of the term). If your insurance amount is huge could you reduce it? I imagine a policy for a couple of hundred thousand would cover any eventualities given your secure financial picture. Also, do you have insurance through your/spouse’s employer?

    4. How much are your policies, like less than $1000 a year? That seems like it would be no hardship to keep up, given your current situation, with potentially a huge payout. It could be put to many uses – college, large nest egg for children, etc.

      1. +1. I would keep life insurance as long as the payments aren’t prohibitive. We plan to use ours for college if needed, but then after that for estate tax mitigation, etc. (we are in MA which has the lowest estate tax exemption in the country).

    5. I don’t know your answer, but here are the factors I would consider:
      * cost of premiums for the next 15 years
      * amount of insurance when collected
      * compare the above against: other assets and what else you would do with the premium payment money if you stop making the payments (Invest? Other insurance (see below)? Save for college?)
      * whether you have disability insurance
      * whether you have long term care insurance

    7. The way term insurance usually works is that you pay a level premium over the life of the policy. When you buy the policy and are young, you’re paying more than you should given your risk at that age, and when you get toward the end of the policy, you’re paying less than you should. For that reason I’d keep it. It’s the best deal you’re gonna get, and more money when someone dies unexpectedly is always always helpful.

    8. As a middle ground you can step down the amount of coverage you need, reducing the monthly expense.

      We are thinking of doing this in a few years once our house is paid off and colleges are funded.

      We stupidly waited until mid-40s to get policies though so our premiums are more than it would have been if we got them earlier. We also got $$$$ policies since we live in a VHCOL place.

  6. Low stakes question — what color mani/pedi? Going after work today, because I have an event on Saturday where I’m wearing an emerald green dress and gold sandals.

      1. This is my recommendation too. Metallic gold, not glittery. I like OPI Glow the Extra Mile or Up Front and Personal, but Glitzerland might work also.

    3. If it’s not a work event, I would do a light/pale pink glitter. I think it would be fun without clashing with either the gold or green or giving too much christmas vibe.

    4. With those colors I’d do a pretty cream or a pale pink. Or a very orangey red. I think a gold would clash.

  7. Does anyone have recommendations for podcasts about athletes, sports training, inspiring Olympian stories, etc.? I’m thinking about things like Michael Phelps talking about how hard he trains. I’m trying out listening to podcasts during long runs and I think listening to these kinds of stories might help keep me motivated when all I want to do it stop and walk. Thanks for any ideas!

    1. Nobody asked us with Des and Kara. Not exactly what you wanted but it’s amazingly good. Also Ali on the Run is pretty good

      1. Agreed. Not a runner but I like listening to them (when the podcasts player on my iPhone cooperates).

    2. The Sonya Looney show is ok. Feisty Women’s Performance Podcast and Tough Girl Podcast might also be good options. If you’re into mountain biking, I also like Downtime.

    3. Can’t endorse it personally, but I immediately thought of Matt Fitzgerald’s books when reading your post. Maybe check out his 80/20 podcast

    5. Not always athletes, but Michael Gervais and pick a podcast featuring an athlete. They talk about high performance so it can skew mental vs physical. I find it inspiring.

    6. Im not big into sports or athletics but had a brief stint as a hockey fan. Conor Carricks podcast The Curious Competitor is one in this relm I pop into occassionally. mindful wellness, sport medicine, training etc.

  8. Does anyone know if it is legal for a homeowners association to block installation of an air conditioning unit on aesthetic grounds when there are no other options? I have a relative with dementia who lives in a condo in CO that does not allow air conditioning units on the street side, but for the downstairs part of the condo, that is the only side where there is a window where a unit could be installed. We visited during a heat wave last year and it was extremely uncomfortably hot and it definitely worse and her symptoms. She had to retire to the upstairs, where she has a window unit, for most of the time. Shouldn’t there be some way to fight the HOA on safety grounds?

    In case it helps, the downstairs has one regular window, a tiny window over the kitchen sink, and a regular door.

    1. Good luck, HOAs can basically do what they want in this category. If you want control like that you need to own a SHF.

        1. Yup, have to unfortunately agree with this. What I think should be the extent of HOA power is very limited to the reality. I can only hope I find a non HOA home when I start my home hunt next year and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

      2. This is a condo association. HOAs also govern neighborhoods with single family homes and have similarly batshit rules.

    2. Are there other windows? I live in a condo with no AC and no regular windows that you could put a window unit in, only sliding windows and sliding glass doors, but I think some of my neighbors have those portable AC units with vent tubes that might work in sliding windows or doors. They’re not ideal for regular use, but might help when it’s really hot (I live in coastal CA where you don’t need AC that often).

    3. How is it unsafe for the downstairs of her apartment to be hot when the upstairs has AC? Get a portable unit.

      1. I believe some of them have installed more robust systems, but most of the other people are young families and are not on fixed income. I know some of the units have a better layout as well with more options for windows.

          1. Are you really being snarky about an old woman with dementia being on a fixed income? Really?

          2. In my town, anyone who bought a house after 2003 is freely assumed to be a gazillionaire, especially if they have children. To paraphrase Hank Hill, if I had that much money, do you think I’d be living in a house with a single bathroom?

          3. Don’t you have to be a gazillionaire to buy a ramshackle single-bathroom house in a lot of places?

    5. Don’t you have to be a gazillionaire to buy a ramshackle single-bathroom house in a lot of places?

    7. You might be able to get away with a portable unit that vents to the outside. They’re actually pretty powerful and much less obtrusive than a traditional window unit.

      But I’m sorry you and she are dealing with this, it’s truly awful. I have a friend with a similar issue in New Orleans (of all places to not have AC). It’s unbelievable. Aesthetics should not be more important than habitability.

      1. I think we may have to, but that kind of air conditioner doesn’t really have good reviews and we have found them to be less effective. If it could take the edge off though…

        1. We had one on a 4th floor walk up in a hot city for years and it was perfectly fine and wayyy better than the alternative of having nothing. We were facing the main street and we weren’t allowed to hang a unit out over the street that high up. Just get one with higher BTU than your space size theoretically requires.

          2. This level of snark is just ridiculous. OP is obvioulsy trying to do the best they can for a relative with several challenges.

        3. I had that type after my basement flooded and broke our hvac for a bit. It worked great. Read the descriptions so you know what room size it will cool but they can cool large rooms quite well.

      2. +1. That’s what we had in our apartment when we were not allowed a window overhang unit. I think it’s not only aesthetic reasons but liability ones if tenants improperly install them and they fall and injure passerby’s. I actually thought this kind was way more powerful than the window unit so it was a win

    9. Can you make a case that this is a disability accommodation? Write them a letter. Invite them to discuss it with their counsel. If you don’t get anywhere, file a complaint with the federal and state housing authorities and attach the letter.

      1. +1

        This is what I would do. I think her doctor in her neurology/dementia clinic would be willing to write a letter that air conditioning is a medical necessity. She can also deduct the cost of the air conditioner on her taxes as a medical expense, if the doctor says it is medically necessary.

        But of course, the portable machine is an option. Yes, they aren’t great, but for cooling a small space it will be fine.

      2. This sounds like the best idea.

        If it doesn’t work, I’d also go to the local news. I know it sounds weird, but sometimes those “on your side/here to help” type things the local news does can really help put outside pressure on otherwise unreasonable people. A good dose of embarrassment can really be a motivator.

    10. I don’t know Colorado law, but I live in a jurisdiction that has a lot of policy in favor of reasonable accommodation for people with disabilities and medical conditions. Where I live, I would most definitely make noises about disability accommodation to the HOA and consider reaching out to the state regulator on fair housing.

    12. In my experience, Colorado is not overly friendly to Home Owner’s Associations compared to other states I’ve lived. I’d write the Association, send the letter requiring a signature, and explain the request for an exception due to health reasons. It might help to offer to remove the unit before ever listing the condo for sale. If the Association says no, write to your relative’s senators and other representatives, copying the HOA. Chances are good the HOA will give up at that point.

  9. Ugh. What do you do when there is a clear rule on X and people are willfully not doing X despite the rule being pointed out? Beyond CYA and trying to remove myself ASAP? Luckily, it’s not flying a plane, driving a truck or train with hazardous materials, or dealing with surgery or anesthesia. BUT STILL. Grownups: do better.

      1. Agreed. But if I don’t have authority to waive a stupid rule, I am stuck with it, no?

        I deal with the tax code a lot. I guess the rules are stupid at times, but they are actual laws passed by congress. Or credentialing rules (so if you need a certified appraiser by a person with a certification, you can’t really decide it’s stupid and then ignore). Could think of other examples. Signing under penalty of perjury vs just giving a signed statement vs an e-mail.

        CYA and hold your nose hard until you can get out of the situation. Know who the lying cheating cheats are b/c they are pretty bold in my org and totally unrepentant. Makes my life unpleasant and hard.

        1. This is still way too vague. Yes, sometimes you can just ignore a stupid rule. Try talking to your colleagues and maybe you’ll learn something or get perspective.

    3. OP here and sorry to vague book but I’m just blowing off steam while feeling like I’m being the corporate bad guy by pointing out that there is a rule and then that people newly discovering it are ignoring it or don’t have the right authority to permit a waiver. I’m not the bad guy but also don’t have the authority to waive compliance with the rule. Ugh. I hate people sometimes.

        1. I can’t Greenlight things and have to relay why up the food chain and hate that I’m being made out to be the bad guy. Like I am in a QA job and there is no Q and I can’t pretend I don’t know and I can’t pretend not to care. I hate this. Let’s kill the messenger.

    4. As a rule follower, this really irks me too. I find it especially irksome to see “reminder” emails and signs telling everyone to do the thing everyone knows we’re supposed to do. Like the sign in the office kitchen that says clean your own dishes. Who is leaving their dishes in the sink? Why would they do that? Who do they think is doing the dishes? Do these people treat their own home this way? Does their spouse put up with that nonsense? Such entitlement. Gets me riled up every time I see that sign.

      1. I’m not even a rule follower by nature and when I take a job that involves rules, I always think that I will be on the front page of the paper the moment an axel fails or a plane crashes or someone orders the wrong close of the wrong med or amputates the other leg by mistake. And I’ve lobbied for rule changes before, including with my regulators and have gotten some through, but work rules are usually there for a reason and you ignore them at your peril (and that of others).

    5. It depends. In my profession we have a code of conduct and an obligation to report other professionals who aren’t following it.

    6. I don’t think there is anything you can do. It sounds like there aren’t any potential negative consequences for you since you already CYAed and removed yourself from the situation. Is this more of a mental block? If so, I would write down reasons why you will not be harmed by their refusal to follow the rules and come up with a plan for if it backfires on them. Also, you can inform the higher ups if need be.

    7. This was part of why I left my last job. I got so frustrated with the business deciding not to comply and see what happens with enough regulations that I felt uncomfortable. I have no illusions that any business follows all rules and yes, there are absolutely times when the business gets to say eff it, I’ll eat it on the back end if I get caught just part of business risk, but I felt like we were doing more of that than I felt comfortable with so I am now at a company where the business generally operates at a compliance level I am comfortable with. Nothing is 100%!

        1. This. I’d need to know people really well to put all my eggs in one basket like that. A firm is no paradise but I have more than one client and id cut loose a problematic one. U less you are giving me at least 8 figures, you aren’t worth risking my license or reputation over or worth a malpractice claim.

      2. Same, but for a volunteer org with lots of youth safety requirements. If you are fast and loose with those rules I have no time for you. Cut my personal risk by severing ties and making sure I had D&O tail insurance as a volunteer officer.

  10. Help me plan a Father’s Day meal for 8 using the prepared meals from Costco’s deli section

      2. Ha! I had the same response: “This sounds exactly like a command someone would give AI.”

        1. Except that ChatGPT would give her a menu for Christmas dinner using prepared foods from Publix.

          1. Have you tried it? People say this but then if you actually type the prompt in, it gives good suggestions!

        2. Ok that’s fair – actually as soon as I hit “Post Comment” I was like, why didn’t I just ask ChatGPT? I’ve been using it a lot lately so that’s why I sound this way now. It recommended the beef brisket, Mac and cheese, vegetables for sautéing and a sheet cake. There were some other really good suggestions below.

    2. All love, but do you really need help with this? Go into the deli section and grab what looks good, that your family will eat, in sufficient quantities to feed everyone. And then go to the bakery section and grab dessert, and then go back over to the beverages section and get beverages. On your way to checkout, you might want to stop by the disposable plates/cutlery section and grab some of those. To me, what you buy is heavily dependent on what your family likes/is willing to eat. I will throw in, the street taco kit is super-easy to heat up and is usually crowd-pleasing.

    3. Can you just have them make you a sub/hero (does Costco do that? I’ve ordered hero’s from BJ’s before)? Add potato salad, pasta salad, chips, fruit.

    4. Chicken salad, croissants, tortellini salad, caesar salad, macaroni and cheese, fruit tray, veggie tray.

    5. Do you want to not cook at all? If you’re okay heating things up on a grill, I’d do the pre-seasoned ribs, a Caesar salad, pasta salad, and a package of the turkey pinwheel rollups. If you literally want to do this with zero effort, I’d get two of the chicken street taco kits and call it a day. Get cupcakes from the bakery!

    6. The huge Costco chicken pot pie. Everyone loves it.

      One of the huge Costco apple pies.

      One of the huge Costco salads – I often get one that has whole grains. If someone is vegetarian/vegan, these can actually be a good meal.

      2. The pot pies are seasonal in a lot of places and OP’s Costco may not have them right now. I was told this by a Costco employee when I went in looking for one the other day.

  11. I need an iron. Somehow I’ve lived my entire adult life without one, but now that I’m back in the office a couple days a week I’m realizing it’s necessary.

    Anyone have an iron you’re passionate about? Any brands to seek out or avoid? Thanks!

    1. I have a Rowena Perfect Steamer Pro which is probably way more than what people want to spend on an iron but oh my gosh am I passionate about it. It makes super quick work of ironing and often I just hold things and steam them vertically. It is POWERFUL. I would have never bought it had I not used my mothers (she sews a lot and needs a good iron) and that’s when I knew it was worth it.

      2. +1 You can buy a cheap iron that won’t iron as well, causing you to have to take more time to get a nice finish, or you can plop down the $$$ for a Rowenta and make ironing as painless as possible. User tip: the hot a settings are very hot and if you use starch or sizing you need to iron on a less hot setting or spray the wrong side of the fabric. Will scorch starch in a heartbeat.

      3. Also endorsing this Rowenta – ridiculously expensive, but I love it. Most items I just steam, and the continuous steam function is great for that. When I do need the iron, it’s there. It’s bulky, but I just leave it plugged in since there’s a switch and auto-off on the tank (and I have it plugged into a smart outlet that turns off when I leave the house and overnight), and it keeps me from having to have both an iron and a separate steamer. I also love the big tank, so I don’t have to bring it back and forth to the sink to fill it up every time I use it.

    2. This made me realize that I’ve owned one my entire adult life (20+ years) and never actually used it. I have a steamer I sometimes use and I do actually use hotel irons when traveling, but never my own. So sorry, no recs, other than to say you won’t use it unless you also have a good ironing board and place to iron, which I don’t.

      1. I’d buy something like Black & Decker because mine lasted forever and every time my mom bought the fancy kind, hers broke and she would borrow mine.

    3. Rowenta! I have spent my whole adult life trying different irons, from cheap to expensive, and the Rowenta is the best.

      1. They’re the best. I’m a steamer person (love my jiffy standing steamer) but sometimes you really do have to iron and Rowenta is absolutely the best. I require at a minimum the “shot of steam” option.

    4. Highly recommend a steamer over an iron unless you are regularly wearing the style of shirt that shall not be mentioned here and not having them pressed at a dry cleaner

    5. Whatever brand you go with, know that a heavy iron works better than a lightweight one. The weight itself does some of the work for you so you don’t have to physically press so hard.

    6. I bought the recommended one on wirecutter (I forget the brand) and I’ve been very happy with it.

    7. Ironing question, I swear I’m an adult but sometime when I iron it seems like the iron leaks a little and my clothes get spots. What am I doing wrong?

      1. You have hard water and the hard water leaves spots/residue. Try NOT putting the water in the iron and instead spraying clothes with cold water in a spray bottle, then ironing, or use distilled water in the iron.

    8. I’m going to dissent on the Rowenta. Had an expensive one for years because I also sew and I hated it. It was finicky about water and even when using the distilled water the manual insisted on it would spit all over the place. But I continued to use it because it was expensive. I nearly wept for joy when it died at the height of the pandemic. Replaced it with the one iron in stock at Target (Hamilton Beach) and have not had issues since.

  12. I am finishing up my term as the president of my city’s chapter of my professional society. We had couple of months with lots of events, wrapping it up our scholarship and awards banquet last weekend. Honestly, I’ve preferred working on things for my society than doing my actual work. I get excited planning outreach events and happy hours and connecting with other members. I really just wish I was independently wealthy so I could just do volunteering all the time.

  13. Do you all have tips on how to add fiber to my diet? I was surprised that most of the breakfast/granola bar type things I have been eating for breakfast have very little fiber. I usually have something with brown rice/lentils/quinoa for lunch, so that gets me about 10 grams of fiber, but where does the other half come from?

    2. Beans, certain fruits, throw some greens into your grains at lunch. But also I started taking fiber supplements when I was having some unexplained IBS-like symptoms and I didn’t stop because it’s been quite nice. Excuse me for being crude, but it’s made pooping much better.

      1. +1. I have what seems to be a slow system and get backed up easily and I take a ton of fiber supplements (gummies, way more than recommended dose).

    3. I have Shredded Wheat and Bran for breakfast almost everyday. I usually add a little of some other cereal like Special K or Fiber One plus half a banana or some berries. It added fiber to my diet, is relatively low sugar and keeps my digestive system healthy.

    4. Whole grains, beans, nuts, seeds, plus veggies or fruit at every meal. If you’re not cooking from scratch, you really have to read labels, because manufacturers are often deceptive about how much whole grain a product really contains. I like to bake, so I do bake my own whole wheat bread and make muffins and other things with whole grains, nuts, and seeds, but if you’re not into that, there are some decent store bought brands, plus whole wheat couscous, pasta, oatmeal, quinoa, etc. I also eat beans pretty much every day, often multiple times a day, which adds a lot as well. Breakfast is oatmeal and blueberries or whole wheat toast with peanut butter and an apple or avocado toast and veggies or a breakfast burrito with beans, scrambled tofu and veggies or just bran flakes when I’m in a rush. Basically, always go for a whole grain instead of white, add fruit or veggies, and beans or nuts when you can.

    5. I usually get 30-35g a day. I have a fruit smoothue and chia pudding every morning. My lunch and dinner are usually a grain bowl topped with veggies, legumes (beans or lentils), and chicken with a side salad.

      My main snack is a handful of nuts. If I need a heartier snack (usually pre-gym), I usually do peanut butter, chia seeds and fruit on whole grain bread or a whole wheat English muffin.

    6. Random but I actually love Guerrero nutri-ricas carb watch tortillas, which have A TON of fiber. I don’t watch my carbs but buy these regularly.

    7. Switch to oatmeal for breakfast. Apples, pears, strawberries, bananas. Almonds. Chickpeas.

    8. Oatmeal, fruit, veg, nuts, whole grains. You could, for example, eat oatmeal with some berries and almonds for breakfast. For a snack, consider an apple, wasa crackers, avocado toast, raw veg and hummus. For dinner, half your plate can be veg – salad, roasted or grilled veggies, asparagus, and so on.

      1. This. Plus frozen berries are reasonably affordable and don’t go bad. Easy to throw into oatmeal, chia pudding, or smoothies, make into a compote to top whole grain waffles or pancakes, or bake into a fruit crisp or whole grain muffins.

        1. Just an FYI that making the berries into a compote breaks down most of the fiber, so you aren’t getting that much actually. The more you cook your fruit, the less fiber you get in your diet.

    10. Fruits and vegetables…? An apple has 4g of fiber, a banana has 3, a cup of baby carrots has 3.

      1. +1 Fruits and vegetables and whole grains and beans. A lot of the gummies and stuff are not backed by science.

      2. The fiber content varies widely. As someone with IBS-D I’m acutely aware of the difference.

        Generally the more dense the food the more fiber it contains. Something watery like a tomato or orange has less fiber than an eggplant or a berry.

  14. not an answer but last week i pulled out my iron to iron my one linen romper from old navy and i decided both that i am not buying linen and that i am not ironing. i feel like the group is really hitting my touch points today! my iron was a black and decker and i think my mother bought it for me to take to college. it is very rarely used but it is a black and decker.

    1. Ha I still have the iron my mother got me when I left for college, too! And I’m 40.

  15. Book recommendation: Yellowface by R.F. Kuang. I read it in two days. It’s very meta about the publishing world, but in a sharp way that doesn’t plod along.

  16. Anyone out there using Thistle meal delivery? Have your orders been accurate? Hoping to hear from some others who receive deliveries from the (relatively new?) East Coast facility, but interested in hearing all experiences.

    Out of five orders since I subscribed to Thistle, only one has included all of the items I ordered. Yesterday’s only two of the five items ordered showed up. Yes, I have contacted customer service each time the order was missing items, and they have promptly credited my account. After this last one, I paused my subscription to reevaluate and customer service has refunded my credit card for the missing items. No issues with the support team, the meals I have received were great, I want to support having services like this available in my area, but this is too unreliable. Just me??

    1. I ordered for a while and had no problem, other than them being unable to deliver on Super Bowl Sunday in Philadelphia which is understandable.

  17. Last minute online shopping help. I need something fun for a cocktail event in two weeks that I will be working. Lots of tech folks attending in a non-tech city.
    I need petite sizing and don’t even know how to describe my shape other than slightly curvy, petite small/4ish. Since I will be working I’d like to have pockets (not required) and wear regular undergarments. I tend to wear above the knee for functions since things can swallow my frame but I’m open to other lengths. I don’t like high necklines and will do sleeveless/any length sleeve.
    This is a milestone event for the organization I work for and a chance to be a little more fun/splashier than usual. Creativity is admired in this crowd. I want something fun!

    1. the only cocktail-ish dresses I have with pockets are mini blazer dresses. I’d wear one with feathers on the sleeves or cutouts but I’ve gathered that I dress a little more wild than the majority who post here.

  18. I have a few quirks that are disability related which seem to really irk some folks, is there a polite way to say ‘please stop commenting on X it’s medical?’ These are the types of folks who see themselves as super progressive but in reality make a lot of ableist comments, so I worry that I’ll put myself in the line of fire even more than I already am.

    1. I actually do say things like this from time to time. I have no idea what exactly you are referring to, and I try to read my audience, but when it is clear that ignorance is involved I explain a bit. I try to keep it cool and breezy.

      But yes, the amount of prejudice against people with disabilities is pretty shocking. Even in populations where disability is the norm!

      I visited a very nice, pricey assisted living facility next door to a well-known progressive University. Many people who lived there were academic types from the University/alumni. The Director of the facility was giving me a tour, bragging about all the nice perks of the place, which was why it was appealing to my intellectual-type family member. But when I started asking the practical questions about accessibility for wheelchairs/walkers etc, which is pretty essential for many seniors as they age, the Director looked at me a little surprised and admitted that the Resident Board that gave recommendations to him had told him “when don’t want more residents with walkers… ” if you know what I mean. I literally laughed in his face. Have you no shame? And I said “Whelp! Glad I asked. This isn’t the place for us!”

      People really s*ck.

    2. Are you comfortable saying matter-of-factly “it’s a medical issue” or “it’s related to a medical condition I have”? Many left-leaning people really don’t have a clue on disability issues, and this could at least cue them to be more careful of their stray comments.

      1. I would be comfortable saying that, I will also have to form some sort of prepared response to follow ups saying I’m not comfortable sharing specifics.

        Bleh, I just hate othering myself and it’s so frustrating to be put in this position.

    3. “Please stop commenting on X, it’s medical” is perfectly polite to my ears!

    4. If the “quirks” are things like tics, stimming behaviors, ways you need to keep yourself organized due to ADHD or executive functioning problems, I think saying something like “this is what I need to do as a result of my medical needs; I don’t like talking about it” is just fine. My son has ADHD and he has a very complex system he’s developed for organizing his school notes and documents and sometimes people comment on it; he just says “this is what I have to do to stay on track” and leaves it at that.

      However. Recently, we have had people in our organization claim that they engage in behavior because of their disabilities and we should just tolerate it. This includes things like:
      – Being overly blunt/rude to others, including making rude personal comments about people’s appearance
      – Sitting on their phones and not participating or paying attention in meetings (in-person or virtual)
      – Not meeting deadlines and not asking for help with organization or project management
      – Not taking care of their personal hygiene, coming to work or meetings smelling bad/looking inappropriate, and blaming it on their depression or anxiety
      – Declining meetings where their attendance is required and not making any effort to follow up or make sure they get the notes from the meeting – reason for not attending is given as “I was overwhelmed and needed to protect my mental health” but they did not take a PTO day; they came to work or logged on to work and just did nothing all day, from what we can tell. We encourage people to take mental-health days (we’ve had seminars about it and there’s copious information on our Intranet) but you have call out for the day, just like with physical illness.

      I will just say clearly and plainly: those are not “quirks,” that is poor job performance, and it absolutely is something people should comment on. I am not saying this is what you’re doing but we’re seeing an increasing number of people who are coming to work, not working, not making any effort to get along with their coworkers, not accomplishing any of their goals, and then blaming it on their ADHD, autism, anxiety, or other health condition. Just so folks are aware, “reasonable accommodations” do not include “we have to continue paying this person for a job they aren’t actually performing because we’re afraid of getting sued.” Nor do people – especially managers – have to stop commenting on behaviors that may be related to a disability, but are proving to be disruptive, distracting, or harmful to others.

      1. I knew someone would assume the worst and read into things. I am clean, professionally dressed, my work is always on time (often early), and I follow social norms.

        The quirks are neurodivergence related like wearing headphones to concentrate (not in meetings, only in my private office), having a detailed project management system, closing the blinds when my office gets the afternoon sun, etc.

        1. I am not neurodivergent and do all those things as well just to be comfortable. It is absurd that people find any of that behavior to be something to be commented on.

          1. I get a lot of backhanded ‘jokes’ about being ‘antisocial’, ‘OCD’ etc. Its all wildly inappropriate.

        2. Those all sound fine to me.

          If you have such a low opinion of people here and their ability to “understand you,” not sure why you’re here? Surely there’s a subreddit you could engage with that would better meet your needs?

          It seems kind of masochistic to keep coming back into a space where you expect to be disrespected. Unless you just enjoy the drama that results?

        3. I need to take urgent bathroom breaks after losing some of my colon to colon cancer, so a day of straight calls or an all day on-site meeting has me planning an extremely early wake up and not eating breakfast or lunch. It’s brutal. I’ve been called out for being 2 min late to a morning session by a speaker once. None of my colleagues know though and I’d prefer to keep it that way, so I totally get it.

          I find it interesting that all the examples cited are mental health. FWIW, I don’t begrudge someone who doesn’t have the energy to shower but is still trying to power through. Their disability may be different than mine but I don’t doubt it is just as painful to deal with, if not more, sometimes. I didn’t always used to feel this way. Commenter clearly hasn’t seen the world yet from the other side yet. Count yourself lucky.

          1. There’s a clear difference between people who are using a medical condition as an excuse or as a shield for their inability to perform, and people who have legitimate medical concerns (including mental health issues) that they’re aware of, are working on, and doing their best to live with. Your situation is wildly different than the ones described above, to the point that I would say you are making your life much harder on yourself by not being up-front about your very clear, very legitimate medical needs.

            You mention “powering through;” what we’re seeing is not people who have conditions but are trying to make the best of it and need help from the organization to do the best they can in terms of performance. They’re people who read on the internet that you can get a job and then blame all of your performance problems on a disability and then companies can’t fire you (we’ve had more than one person tell us this, in one way or another). What you do on your early/heavy meeting days is “powering through” and I don’t think you should have to do that, TBH.

        4. Unfortunately, I do think labeling them as medical could be a risk, especially to obnoxious people who feel like they can/should comment on them multiple times in the first place. Could you try “this is what works best for me so I’ll be sticking with it”?

          1. I also use headphones at work, and also keep the overhead lights off in my office and use lamps instead (the overhead fluorescent lights really exacerbate my migraines). Ditto with keeping the blinds closed. I have had people comment on these things and I just say “well, you know what they say, you gotta do what you gotta do! And this is what I gotta do to power through my workday. By the way, when is the birthday party for so-and-so?” No need to focus on their rudeness; I know I’m doing what I need to do and IDGAF if people like it or don’t like it, or think it’s weird, or whatever. Their problem, not mine.

            I actually have to do a lot of things to manage my migraines, including drinking a lot of water (so I need frequent pee breaks), not eating certain foods ever (not even if Betty in accounting makes the best _____ and will be offended if I don’t try it), not wearing perfume (and I have asked other people not to wear theirs around me), etc. Yes, people have commented on these things; no, I don’t really care. If I were inclined to go through life looking for things to get offended about or feel targeted by, I would definitely find them, just about everywhere I looked. I wish people could be more sensitive and less nosy, but I can’t change them into reasonable human beings. So I am going to keep doing me, they can keep doing them, and I try to remember that many people just love to nitpick people or complain about things, and would do so whether I was the target, or someone/something else was. That’s a “them” problem and I’m not going to spend my time worrying about it.

        5. These are all perfectly normal things to do whether or not one is neurodivergent. The real quirk is probably in how you react when people mention them.

  19. I am *this close* to switching to a concierge internal medicine doctor for my primary care. Has anyone done this? Anything I should know before I decide?

    I have excellent employer-provided PPO insurance, which I would still use to see Dr. Concierge. Plus, I would pay Dr. Concierge $3,5000/year for, basically, time with her (longer appointments, ability to call or text whenever, etc.). Dr. Concierge would work with my specialists, even though none of them is in the hospital system where Dr. Concierge has admitting privileges (I try to stay away from that hospital because it is religion-based and, until recently, provided care according to the Catholic rules, whereas there is a public academic medical center in town that is both excellent and religion-free).

    What have your experiences been with concierge medicine? What should I be thinking about? TIA

    1. I’m sure this depends on both your health status and your financial status, but for me (an upper middle-class person in good health except for an autoimmune disease that is well controlled by medicine), $3,500 per year for what you’re describing would not be worth it. I’ve never had a need for a primary care doctor to “work” with my specialists, other than referring me to them, and I can get a referral without concierge medicine. My OB in particular is really great and will often put in a referral to a specialist even without an appointment if I tell her I need XYZ specialist, but even if I had an unnecessary appointment with a PCP first that’s ~$100. I don’t think I would pay $350 for this service, let alone 10 times that.

    2. If you can afford it, I’d do it. I have a much lower premium membership to One Medical and I’m never going back

      The only thing that would concern me about your proposal is the admitting privileges hospital

      1. I hate OneMedical with a burning passion. I’m on the phone with them re a bill in October weekly that they’ve now sent to collections. They can’t seem to bill CIGNA for it. It’s so frustrating. It’s an in-network doctor and no, I’m not paying $700. I will never give them a dime again. HATE THEM. And previously, I love, love, loved them.

        They also have rampant overbilling things (triple coding, so that a ten minute visit for renewals of Rx’s is coded for three separate medical conditions and is thousands of dollars.)

        1. That does not surprise me at all because OneMedical is the epitome of the healthcare industrial complex in which MDs and other professionals are reduced to employees who must meet metrics to serve shareholder value. See today’s NYT (Moral Crisis of America’s Doctors).

          I also have heard that OneMedical gives incomplete/outdated advice to women about HRT.

          1. Hmm maybe it varies by location. I had a non-One Medical doctor who was awful and her staff were even worse. Both my new doctor and her staff have been absolutely lovely, and my new doctor takes the time to listen and takes me seriously, something my other doc was sorely lacking.

    3. What problem you face today do you think this will solve? For exmaple I have never faced an excessive wait if I send a question by chat portal to my regular in-network PCP’s office, so the call and text benefit doesn’t seem that valuable to me.

    4. DH was a direct primary care doctor which he pays like $95/month for. He is very happy with it – much longer appointment times, better options for tests, not constrained by insurance guidelines or medical office guidelines, easy to schedule in-person or telehealth, etc. He doesn’t have insurance so I can’t speak to that part. I would find out what exactly the $3500 covers – 1 appointment/month? Are tests/labs or blood work and the accompanying tests extra money? Can they write prescriptions for everything including narcotics/controlled substances (this may vary by state but DH’s doc does not have the appropriate licensing to prescribe controlled substances)? Does the office have a nurse on staff or every time you need testing/blood drawn, will you have to go somewhere else?

      1. Any reason he doesn’t have insurance? It is such a risk to your family. He could get hit by a car or diagnosed with cancer tomorrow, and your family could be hit with a crushing bill.

    5. I have found that these situations are a mixed bag.

      Dr. Concierge is much more important if you have a complicated medical situation with a lot of need for urgent appointments/frequent hospitalizations. And the admitting privileges is only slightly of interest, if the Dr. Concierge is at your preferred hospital.

      One of my parents had a concierge primary care, but only because it was the doctor who had been following my Dad for 20 years and my Dad had a complicated medical situation that his primary had seen him through. This doctor decided to change his practice to concierge, so we decided to try it for one year. Because my Dad was medical fragile, and could get critically ill fast, it was fantastic. We could call any time/day. And the person we would talk to was his own doctor, who knew and trusted us….. not a random covering doctor or a random intern on call at the hospital. We could get antibiotics quickly on weekends, we often avoided hospitalizations, and we could decide with the doctor when to go to the ER. It was great. BUT… the doctor was never an expert in my Dad’s complicated medical situation. We were the experts. He was just a great facilitator in helping us get the care my Dad needed.

      What would be more useful would be for you to have all of your consultants at the same hospital system, so that they may occasionally know/work with each other and notes/imaging studies are easy to access by everyone at all times and they can text/page each other. Sometimes there are even interdisciplinary conferences, if you have a complicated medical problem that crosses disciplines, where they review your case.

      In general, the job of a primary care doctor is to do the basic, well person screenings for you and to help with semi-urgent mild illness/problems. They get the ball rolling, and ultimately refer you to specialists if you have a long term problem/diagnosis or something that needs treating that is beyond a simple course (eg. treating a UTI, strep throat). They are almost never a person who gathers together all of your specialists recommendations, synthesizes them, figures out the best plan and implements it. That is impossible, and beyond their scope. Unfortunately, you must be the integrator. You must keep track of everything and educate your primary care doctor of the recs of each outside consultant. Forward notes to your primary care doctor. Bring copies at each visit of each outside test etc…. If you have a complicated medical situation, schedule 1 or 2 extra appointments a year to update your primary care doctor, if you want, since squeezing everything into your yearly physical is too much.

      And ultimately, if you are lucky, one or two of your specialists will be so good they will really be the ones directing your most important regular care of your complicated problems.

      Where are your specialists? At the academic excellent medical center? Is that where you would be admitted if you had a problem? If so, the admitting privileges of the Dr Concierge at the catholic hospital are useless to you. And if you get admitted…. who cares if your primary care doctor visits you there? They don’t know much about taking care of patients acutely ill, in the hospital.

      I also avoid catholic hospitals on principle, although they are approaching a monopoly on our community based options. I strongly encourage posters on this board to consider doing the same if they want to support women’s rights/women’s health care. This “religious” hospitals are now profit driven monoliths that discriminate against women.

    6. I switched to a concierge doctor/nurse practice a year or two ago and it’s great. None of my appointments are less than 30 mins and most are 60 minutes. Mine does twice a year physicals with more extensive questions and blood work and while I pay for the second one and extra panels, it’s so much better for tracking my health as I get older. The nurse runs point with any specialists making it much easier for me to get appointments, I can text my doc any time I want to about anything I want to, he’s a competitive athlete so he gets my training routines, and he has respected my request not to discuss weight in a way that triggers my disordered eating tendencies. I can get simple Rx’s like the inhaler refilled with just a text, etc.

      Mine is cheaper than yours ~1250/yr I think? And I was able to get past the wait list bc I met him through a friend socially first. Worth it for me for sure.

    7. You could consider seeking care at an academic medical center, Kaiser, or one of the Mayo Clinic locations if coordination of care is an issue.

    8. Anything your Concierge prescribes could be considered “out of network” so be prepared for higher ancillary costs.

  20. Longshot, but is anyone here diagnosed with ehlers-danlos syndrome? Over the years I’ve had growing suspicions that I have the hypermobility type (type III) of EDS. I went to a doctor once many years ago and she basically laughed in my face. I am wondering if it’s worth confirming my suspicions with a second opinion, or if having a diagnosis is functionally meaningless? I think it is the source of a lot of chronic health issues, but I understand the “cure” is basically lifestyle adjustments anyone could make.

    1. I’m hyper mobile and I used to think I just had bragging rights about being able to touch my palms to the floor at age 58. However, more recently I’ve been in PT for elbow and knee issues and both PTs attributed the issues at least in part to my hyper mobility. I don’t know what to do about that. I yam what I yam.

      1. OP here, and same. All fun and games until I’m in my 30’s and my shoulders are literally slipping out of their sockets while I’m sleeping

        1. You need rock tape, and to teach a partner or friend how to tape up your shoulder as soon as possible after they pop out. That makes a huge difference. And find a physio who knows about EDS. My shoulder once popped during a meeting I was minuting because I sneezed, and have done so in my sleep several times. Fun times indeed.

        2. You definitely should get a second opinion and a referral to a specialist. You should be able to get PT which could help a lot. I have carpal tunnel and was diagnosed with hyper mobility by a hand specialist. She referred me to PT which, among other things, taught me how to tape my hands. In my case it wasn’t forever, but the taping gave the joints time to heal and it really helped with the pain. The PT also recommended the correct type of hand braces. I’m sure there must be therapies for large joints like the shoulder.

    2. There is somewhat recent research (https://news.tulane.edu/pr/could-vitamin-deficiency-cause-‘double-jointedness’-and-troubling-connective-tissue-disorder) that indicates that taking methylated folate may help people with hypermobile EDS who experience certain symptoms . There seems to be a connection between hypermobility and the MTHFR gene. I have suspected hypermobility and lo and behold it turned out that I do actually have the gene where I do not process folate efficiently.

      Whether or not you need a diagnosis probably depends on what your symptoms are. If you are ever planning on having children, it’s worth a diagnosis because pregnancy and delivery can cause issues in people with connective tissues disorders. You’d want to know that upfront so you can be proactive about trying to limit side effects.

    3. Yes! Seek out a geneticist. That’s your best bet for getting a diagnosis. And it’s worth it even though there isn’t a specific treatment.

    4. I couldn’t find a geneticist in my state who would see adults plus there is no genetic testing available for Type III. I have been diagnosed with Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder by a rheumatologist which has been not-super helpful but it’s nice having a catchall name for the myriad of problems I’ve had since childhood. I finally found a DO who is on board with my hypermobility and that is worth WAY more than an actual diagnosis of EDS (for me anyways). I suggest joining a EDS Facebook group for your area or just a general one, they have been super helpful to me) and then finding a doctor who believes you. Then you can start managing your symptoms then adding “people” to your team – like acupuncturists, physical therapists who understand hypermobility (a lot don’t and can cause additional harm), internal medicine doctor, primary care, osteopath, etc.

    6. The Ehlers Danlos Society website has links to the diagnostic criteria of the different types of EDS including hyper-mobile. Honestly, you could see if you meet the criteria pretty easily (it’s literally a check box form). Unfortunately, yes for the hyper-mobile type the diagnosis isn’t very helpful (the society website does have lots of good information on it through!).

  21. Sigh. I just had a zoom interview and I don’t think I did very well. I really, really wanted this job. Is it too early for wine?

    1. Awww. . . I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you feel better about it – it’s a tough market out there, and competition is fierce from my experience.

    2. Been there. It’s the worst. Can definitely be more difficult to make a personal connection over video. It’s hard to keep my thoughts under control afterwards for a little while to avoid the constant kicking yourself for your (self-perceived) mistakes. Be kind to yourself.

  22. Don’t count yourself out yet. I remember my initial interview for the job I hold now, I called DBF afterwards to tell him all about how I blew it. He still reminds me of this when I have a bad day and I’m being hard on myself.

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