ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Utility Midi Shirtdress

A woman wearing a black button-front sleeveless maxi dress from Old Navy

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

We’ve had several sunny days in a row, and my brain is getting ready for dresses, bare legs, and warm weather. Yes, it’s going to take a few months, but a girl can dream. This midi shirtdress from Old Navy would be a great choice for the first day it really feels like spring.

If black feels too wintery for you, this also comes in “mocha taffy” and “reishi.” (I don’t know who’s naming the colors at Old Navy, but they’re really working hard over there.) 

The dress is on sale for $34.99 at Old Navy and comes in regular sizes XS–4X, tall sizes XS–XXL, and petite sizes XS–XXL. 

Sales of note for 12.5

216 Comments

  1. I just got this dress yesterday. Did not like. It’s very square and the drawstring doesn’t really let you shape it properly. Also the arm holes are very big and showed my bra. The fabric is not great, very slithery and I imagine it might be kind of sweaty in very hot weather.

    1. Dang, thank you. I was just about to add to cart. It reminded me of a late, great linen shirt dress that I had from Old Navy like 10 years ago and wore until it fell apart. RIP.

      1. Yeah, I was super disappointed. It looked promising on the website. I suppose if you don’t mind slithery synthetics and are will to stitch up the armholes it might be…okay?

    2. Ah, shoot. Everything I suspected. I need to learn that Old Navy dresses just do not work at all, unless they are the very basic t-shirt kind.

    3. Talbots linen shirtdress from last summer is on super-sale right now. I have it in 2 colors and when it’s not 0 degrees and snowing sideways, they get lots of wear and compliments.

    5. What is it with low price (and sometimes higher price) retailers creating arm holes that are gaping voids. Who wants that?

      2. Sometimes (but guessing not in this case) it’s for size inclusivity. As I’ve gotten older, my arms are much meatier than they used to be. And whether I gain or lose weight, there’s just some extra sag. I know I appreciate jackets or sweaters that have more room there or wider sleeves.

  2. My SIL and teen nephews are coming to visit. Staying in the West Village. What is a good breakfast place I can send them to near them that best approximates a Waffle House or iHOP (traditional big hearty breakfast that isn’t a million dollars)? No one wants to be a tourist by hangry teen boys, so pls someone do a public service.

    2. I am not sure you are going to find anything that really approximates a Waffle House or IHOP in the West Village, but the Grey Dog on Carmine has good breakfast options and is casual. Washington Square Diner might work too.

    5. Coppelia is the answer here. Cheap, huge portions, nice service, even open 24/7! Technically a Cuban restaurant, but they have pancakes, waffles, etc. I have fond memories of 4 AM breakfasts after shifts at Lenox Health nearby.

  3. I ordered a beautiful dress online ages ago for an upcoming wedding but finally have to accept it’s not going to arrive in time and need to find a last-minute replacement. I don’t think I have time left for online shopping.

    Any suggestions on where to shop in person in NYC for a non-dowdy dress for black-tie optional evening wedding? I’d grudgingly spend up to 500 for something I love, but cheaper is welcome. I have looked at Nordstrom and Bloomingdales online, and everything feels very mother of the bride. I like some of the black-tie dresses at Anthro and Reformation, but they don’t seem to be available in stores, and I’ve run out of time for shipping (wedding is in one week). (I realize it’s possible for shipments to arrive in a week, but I need to have the dress in hand earlier so I can make sure it actually works for my body, likely get it shortened, make sure I have shoes and undergarments, etc.)

    I’m short, size 10/12 with a large bust and as of recently, a big stomach…and I feel like it can be hard to find something that is flattering to me. I’d like to look great, as the wedding will include very judgmental family members.

    The dress I wanted to wear is the Reformation Birch silk dress in navy, which I think is beautiful and classy. Open to a variety of styles, though, that would make sense for a 30-something city dweller (e.g., no head to toe sequins or lace with a weird sheer modesty panel that covers up your bare skin)

      1. THANK YOU. Not as elegant but way cheaper…and beggars can’t be choosers. Gonna see if I can go try this on today somewhere.

      1. I’ve thought about this seriously but I have concerns about an off-the-rack dress fitting me well due to being short and round. What if it comes and is 6 inches too long and I am up a creek without a paddle?

        1. I think rent the runway has a store in NYC. Not sure how it works but you might be able to go and try things on. Hope the Reformation dress shows up soon. It looks amazing.

        2. It takes some time to wade through, but on RTR, real people post reviews with pictures so you can see how it fits (or doesn’t) someone with a similar body type/size.

        3. RTR dresses often have very helpful, honest reviews, with measurements and body size of the wearers, and photos. I think it’s worth trying!

        4. I would also recommend renting, and as a second to RTR, might consider nuuly – they have anthro / free people and similarly, lots of photos and reviews.

    4. It’s been many years but in the past I have had good luck shopping at Macy’s (the one in Herald Square) for dresses. The NYC Nordstrom has a very limited selection and it skews designer/expensive. Macy’s has a lot more mid-range options. It’s huge so they should have a decent selection.

      1. Macys has gone downhill, sadly. I used to work at 2 Penn Plaza and spent many a happy Wednesday lunch hour in the early 90s shopping at the Herald Square Macys. (Wednesday was coupon day).

      2. Not in NYC but I just bought TWO black-tie dresses at Macy’s. Was quite surprised and pleased by their selection. Nordstrom only had one I even wanted to try on!

    5. Nordstrom Rack online (to pick up in store) might be worth a look. Sometimes they have gorgeous formal-ish dresses. Some of my favorites are from there. Good luck!

    6. The Anthropologie by the World Trade Center carries their bridal/special occasion wear. Maybe hit them, the new Century 21 and then go over to the SoHo bloomingdales? If you really get stuck – bridal stores also carry evening wear and it’s usually very size inclusive and off the rack vs. special order. It’s times like these that I really miss Lord and Taylor!

    7. No specific recommendations but black tie optional means you can get away with a fancy midi dress. It’s less likely to require hemming than something meant to be floor length. As a fellow short person I’d look for a dark colored dress in a nice fabric that hits anywhere below the knee of the 5’10” model.

    8. Call the Nordstrom on 57th and see if a personal stylist can get you in. It’s free, and they can get things from other stores fast if necessary.

  4. So, how will the Supreme Court weasel out of this one? My money is on “but he wasn’t convicted so of course he can run.” I can’t believe I used to look at the justices in awe as a teen. The level of corruption and duplicity is staggering.

    1. IDK but wading into this is probably a mistake, but doing more is probably a bigger mistake. I don’t think they can DIG at this point, but my sense is that officer will just be lesser officers. If anything, Trump is helped when the book is thrown at him, so I very much do not want that.

      1. Maybe, but that will itself be a political move, not one based on the precious Constitution.

        1. I don’t think so — it may be everyone or everyone but Kagan, but that’s it not a partisan split will be a good thing at this point.

          1. Right, but colluding or horse trading (as described below) to not LOOK partisan IS partisan. If they want to act that way, then they don’t get to present the court as an impartial arbiter of truth.

          2. I think there are valid legal reasons, not partisan ones, for this particular outcome, and it’s a nice coincidence that it likely won’t appear partisan. After listening to the argument yesterday I am feeling more like that it won’t be a primarily political decision (or really horse trading) to allow him on the CO ballot.

        2. So if the conservative Justices vote one way and the liberal Justices vote differently, that’s political. If they issue an unanimous or per curium opinion, you think that’s also political.

          Ever heard of a non-falsifiable proposition?

      1. I believe the line was imbeciles. But I’m a third generation idiot so what do I know? I’ve thought sc rulings were bs since law school. But I never thought people were so hostile to American democracy as to openly support a dictatorship. Horrifying.

    4. Might be there’s horse trading on this. Give this one to Trump and rule against him on the absolute immunity.

    5. Did anyone catch Justice Gorsuch saying to Murray, “the, in your view, former president?” Does Justice Gorsuch think that Donald Trump is the current president?

          1. He posed a hypothetical about the Plaintiffs’ theory that Trump would have automatically stopped being President on Jan. 6, after the insurrection happened, under 14A3 – whether the language is “self-executing.” He was challenging the Plaintiffs’ counsel as to whether, under that theory (his VIEW of 14A3) Trump would automatically lose authority to, say, command the armed forces

    6. I thought the Kagan’s point on…. why should one state be able to decide the presidency?….. had some validity. And knowing the Republicans, if the Supreme Court let the Colorado decision stand….I could see the future becoming a circus, with red states coming up with whatever state specific laws they want to help disqualify potential Democratic candidates from running in their state.

      It was very telling that no Justice wanted to wade into the insurrection waters…. They know. Yet, our illustrious special prosecutor chose not to charge Trump with insurrection. That also says something.

      So while I am very worried about Trump winning again, I feel that we have to definitively beat him at the (I was going to say Box Office!) ballot box, AND criminally charge/convict him of everything he is guilty of, as the best way of avoiding future violence from the right. Next week’s Supreme court review of presidential immunity is the most important decision.

      We all should be donating, volunteering, talking to everyone we know, getting people registered etc… to make sure the election this year shows the will of the people.

      1. There’s actually a good reason to not charge him with insurrection or inciting insurrection – it prevents a double jeopardy argument with the impeachment proceedings (not that it’s a good argument but would waste even more time). Also, proving mental state/intent might be more difficult. IMO the charges were sufficient to get the job done here.

        one real problem with section 3 is the timing because of Congress’ ability to lift the disability on office holding. theres nothing in the constitution or in statutes that explains when that happens.

        i am also of the belief that the court will give trump the ballot question but deny immunity.

        And I agree it makes it very important that he definitively loses at the ballot box!!!

      2. IDK — I am also concerned with the safety of corrections workers and other inmates if he gets locked up. I think something like conviction plus commuting anything to time served plus probation (sort of a bigger shame to him is my guess). Would take the wind out of his sails, which is what all of us need at this point, not more fuel in the fire.

    7. Frankly, I think ‘but he wasn’t convicted so of course he can run’ is probably the correct line. If we want to maintain the presumption of innocence we must extend it to everyone, no matter how abhorrent. Frankly, too, I think it’s better to wrongly allow someone on the ballot than to wrongly exclude them.

      2. Agree. I’m wholeheartedly a blue voter and and find the prospect of Trump 2.0 presidency horrible, but without a conviction it seems wrong to me to keep him off the ballot.

        The strict constitutionalists though should be embarrassed – if you want to take a pure strict constitutionalist reading of the Constitution and adhere to what the writers meant when they wrote the amendment, I think you end up with a different conclusion. They are going to have to do some mental gymnastics.

      3. So was every confederate officer convicted of insurrection? or is the ghost of Jefferson Davis innocent until proven otherwise? im comfortable with anyone who wants to end American democracy being excluded from participating in it. But I feel like we are through the looking glass now that a presidential candidate already tried to end democracy and has vowed to do away with it and become a dictator.

        1. Not an expert in this area: being an officer in an army that fought the United States is not really a fact-specific determination. It’s sort of like being over the age of 35: states can determine this easily enough.

          The issue here is whether or not Trump’s rally that was 20 minutes away constituted an insurrection, whether his calls for non-violence are material to the analysis, if the storming of the Capitol constituted an insurrection within the meaning of XIV, etc. That is a deep dive into legal and fact-specific issues, and aren’t well-suited to the same box-checking of “over age 35, natural born citizen, never was an officer or soldier in a military that fought in the Civil War.”

      4. I think this is the most logical way out, given that these rules were adopted right after the Civil War. Then again, I also think that a logical reading of the Second Amendment is, “you get one smooth-bore musket per household,” so what do I know.

    8. My money is on “the state can’t decide,” leaving it to the Feds. Why didn’t the DIJ charge DJT under the insurrection statute?

  5. Looking for podcasts to download for a 16-hour flight. Preferably with a story arc so that it is bingeable. Something like My Dad Wrote a P*rno in the Comedy genre, and The Dream and Slow Burn in the Human Interest genre. Bonus if the story has any connection to India (my destination).

    2. This may be too pop culture for you, but I have really enjoyed several of the “Even the Rich” podcasts. They do a deep dive into a celebrity. I like the Paris Hilton one, Mariah Carey, and the Beyoncé and Jay-z seasons.

    3. Murder on Sex Island by Jo Firestone. It is a serialized audiobook. (Also, consider actual audiobooks if you haven’t already – my library has a ton).

    4. Just a rec to also download some podcasts. I feel like breaking up a book with a podcast when I’m feeling drowsy keeps me from losing my place and can be a welcome break when things start to get monotonous. I always regret when I don’t have a mix. Enjoy your trip! Sounds like you’ll be on a great adventure.

    5. Wind of Change! It’s about whether the CIA wrote a song by the scorpions as a pro-democracy influence operation in the Cold War

    6. The Texas Monthly podcasts are excellent if you want a true crime binge – Tom Brown’s Body and Stephenville. Stuff the British Stole has multiple seasons and you can pick and choose what stories interest you. If you want something to put you to sleep, the Countess of Derby is interviews with the ladies in charge of taking care of British estates. I listened to it on a flight because I found their voices soothing and it was no big deal if I fell asleep and picked it up afterwards.

    7. Well, I feel like every woman should listen to “The Retrievals”, and every man, honestly.

      1. Same!! I loved that one. I am also listening to Scamanda right now and am enjoying it.

    9. It’s not a podcast, and I agree with the commenter who did not read your post that it might be nice to break up a book with a podcast or two along the way, but if you haven’t listened to (or read) Shantaram, you might enjoy it. At 42+ hours, it will take you through the entire round trip plane ride with some extra hours of listening during your trip.

      1. I haven’t read the book, but you have Apple TV, there is a TV series based on the book and it’s pretty good if you’re looking for something to watch.

    10. Its old now but Scamanda was a great podcast story about a woman who faked having cancer.

      Also if you’re into history, I like the following podcasts that all have extensive backlogs to listen to:
      Stuff You Missed In History Class
      Not Past It
      Noble Blood

    11. I LOVED Dead Eyes, which is about an actor who was fired from a small part in Band of Brothers and, decades later, decides to track down director/producer Tom Hanks to find out why. It goes off on all kinds of great tangents before (small spoiler) he actually gets to sit down with Tom Hanks and semi-solve the mystery.

    12. Take a look at the Rest is History, they have a ton of multi-part series about various historical events. The fall of the Aztecs was really good, so is Paris 1968: the Students Revolt, there is a one off episode on the history of India in 10 buildings, the episode on the Mitford Sisters and Hitler is both horrifying and amusing, and as a librarian, I was fascinated to learn that the Peasants Revolt in England was really focused on burning all the gov docs. The hosts are good at establishing that narrative arc you are looking for.

      The Fall of Civilizations podcast doesn’t have an India episode, but both the Cambodia one and the Easter Island one were very engaging (and he has a very soothing voice if you are trying to go to sleep).

    13. The Dream (about MLMs), Chameleon: Hollywood Con Queen, CBC’s Uncover (Evil By Design, The Village) or Hunting Warhead, Dirty John. Second The Retrievals, everyone should listen to that IMO.

    14. City of the Rails. Definitely binge-able. Narrated by a journalist mother whose daughter runs off to join hobos riding the trains across the U.S. I found it fascinating.

  6. How much do you spend on your hobbies per year? I spend probably $50-$60 a month on books, and I’ve recently gotten into jigsaw puzzles. I know I could probably get them for cheaper, but I’ve been buying nice ones I really like for $20-$25 each. I’ve been trying to say that they each give me at least a couple weeks worth of some entertainment a day so its worth it.

    1. I’m not sure exactly because it can vary so much depending on whether I need to make an equipment purchase, but a couple thousand dollars in a bigger year and several hundred dollars in a smaller year would be about right. Skiing and mountain biking are the most expensive of my hobbies. I got an amazing end of season deal on my last pair of skis so ended up paying about $250 versus $700+, plus got an REI dividend for it. That deal still makes me happy, especially since they’re the best skis I’ve ever owned.

      1. Please tell me which skis you have. I need to upgrade my 7 y/o (?) Nordica Wild Belles.

    2. get the nice jigsaw puzzles! This is just not a lot of money (even if it feels like a lot for puzzles)… it’s like one terrible dinner out, or a couple of drinks at a bar + tip.

      I also like to buy books (rather than library etc) because I’m in an economic position to be able to afford them, and I like supporting authors. Buying books is an easy way to do that!

      2. Get the nice ones! And then donate them to a retirement home or something if you don’t like doing puzzles twice. I don’t think this is a lot to spend on hobbies.

        I probably spend under $300 per year because my main hobbies are reading (I use the library) and exercise of various forms (so I need new shoes and sometimes new clothing). However, DH’s hobbies are $7-10k per year because they involve a lot of stuff that has to be replaced or upgraded regularly.

      3. Good point about it being similar to a dinner or a couple drinks!
        I do use the library for books, but sometimes I want a book now. I like thinking about it as a way to support authors.

        1. Movie tickets are, what, $12 or $15? And you are entertained for a couple of hours. A $25 puzzle will keep you engrossed for a lot longer than that.

      4. Yes, get the beautiful puzzles! I did several during the pandemic (including this one, which was quite challenging: https://specialtyproducts.store/lions-heart-2000-piece-jigsaw-puzzle-heye/) and then sold them for $5 or $10 on our local FB virtual yard sale page (where I also have bought some). The biggest problem is once I start I cannot stop – I set a timer, I will do the puzze for 45 minutes and go to bed, or whatever. Then when the timer goes off I keep going and suddenly two hours have gone by …

        My adult child gave me this for Christmas and I started it a couple of weeks ago. https://www.pomegranate.com/products/edvard-munch-the-sun-1000-piece-jigsaw-puzzle?variant=41671723155646&currency=USD&utm_medium=product_sync&utm_source=google&utm_content=sag_organic&utm_campaign=sag_organic&gclid=CjwKCAiAt5euBhB9EiwAdkXWO-JnszXFVXo9U5avvoZo2IbRrw77kltWZFllvOvKP252tAIqhVcVShoClKwQAvD_BwE

        I told them it was like giving a big bottle of vodka to a an alcoholic.

    3. Depends on how you define hobby,… if travel counts, a lot. If travel doesn’t count then it’s pretty minimal. I’m a big reader but prefer to get books from the library, so I don’t really spend any money on it. Your level of spending seems very reasonable to me though.

      1. Oh I’m not counting travel. I spent $5k on that last year and planning to spend more this year.

    4. I mean, people on here own horses, so a $25 puzzle isn’t that expensive in comparison :)
      On my main hobby – probably $200/year. I made one large purchase a couple years ago; everything else is just supplies.

      1. Yeah I’m one of the pony owners. I don’t even want to know how much money I’m going to spend on this creature in 2024.

        Buy the $25 puzzle if it brings you joy. You could probably cut $25 out of the book buying budget by using the library if you care to.

        1. Lost my sweet horse last year. Had him for 18 years and trying to calculate total cost over those 18 years is an exercise that would benefit no one lol.

          1. I actually like knowing the cost for my expensive hobbies – I think of it as “wow, I’m so pleased I invested in something that brought me so much joy. Every dollar was well-spent and this bill shows how much happiness those years brought me.”

        2. I am also a might my money on fire horse owner soooooo.

          Conservatively, for just board, lessons, farrier, massages, and a best guess vet bill guess . . . About $15k. LOL CRY.

          Then I also spend $2k a year on OrangeTheory, probably another $1500 on running, maybe $500 on bike stuff, $500 on various classes . . .

          I should not have typed this up!! Hahahaha

    5. For puzzles, try Completing the Puzzle! It’s a rental service with lots of great options on puzzle size and theme. You don’t pick the exact puzzle you get next, but you can favorite a bunch and then it’s a nice surprise when the delivery arrives. (I’ve been using the service for about a year and have only gotten puzzles on my favorites list, which isn’t super long.)

      2. This is an amazing idea – limits over-consumption, allows for variety, saves OP the headache of deciding what to do with puzzles once done. Is the charge per-rental or like a monthly subscription? Basically, is it the case that the faster you do the puzzles the more you get?

    6. I spend loads on my hobbies, the major ones of which include aerial silks, skiing, and gardening. And theatre. Like – if it were a number, I’d guess more than $15k/year on all these things. Probably higher, I don’t even have a conception because I view these as “important” expenses so long as I’m meeting my other financial goals. I make $150k/year in Canada, HCOL, no kids.

    7. It depends on so much! My biggest hobby expense is probably buying books fairly regularly. There was the year I bought a kayak, but that was a one-time expense. I also make cards, and it’s easy to get caught up in “just one more” stamp or ink pad or paper pad because most aren’t that expensive on their own. I probably spend more on the adhesives than anything else because they just don’t last that long.

      IDK. As long as the hobbies are bringing me joy and not cluttering up the house too much, I’m good. My hobbies are cheap in comparison to many!

      1. I’m much more ok with hobby clutter compared to, say, paper or kitchen clutter. Having the right gear makes all the difference for going on great adventures.

    8. I read, do yoga, and cycle. I probably buy 1-2 books a month, and use the library for the rest, spend £40 on classpass for yoga, and bought a new bike last year, which was pricey but it’s my form of transport.

    9. I spend close to $1000 a year on race entries alone. Probably another $300-$500 on equipment most years. And that’s just for one of my hobbies

    10. At least that much on books, $15 a month on two mobile games I play daily, and the rest varies. I recently started crocheting so have been spending $30-50 a month on yarn and hooks as I learn. If I stick with it I imagine that will go up because I have expensive tastes. I probably spent that much on supplies for hobbies that don’t stick every few months.

      1. Knitter here: a sweater’s worth of yarn is close to 100 and I knit 4 to 5 a year, patterns are 5 to 10 each and I buy them like water running thru my fingers. Plus all of the single skeins that are “oh, so pretty” at 30 a pop. That doesn’t include dinner once a month with my knitting group, or coffee once a week with my other knitters.

    11. Not much. I read a lot, but almost entirely from the library. I love movies and television, but prefer streaming and rotate through a couple main services and a few more that I have a cheap promos on (so around $30 per month). I like to hike and birdwatch, but we live somewhere we can do that without having to drive much or at all, so I just have to buy some gas and new shoes and clothes every now and then. And I like to cook, but eating is mandatory, and cooking is cheaper than the alternatives, so I’d say that actually saves a lot of money at this point, though previous me bought cookbooks and cooking gear (not extravagant).

    12. the library! most libraries these days offer puzzles, and many of my friends trade puzzles and swap them around. And of course, libraries offer books!

    13. Ah I don’t want to think about it haha. My unlimited yoga studio membership is $120/month (so worth it to me) and I probably spend ~ $30/month on books. I usually read library books on my kindle, but I’ll buy books with long holds if I need them for book club. Then there’s yoga clothes which I try to keep to a reasonable amount but probably still $300-$400 a year or so.

    14. I have three horses so… a whole lot. Buy the nice puzzles and don’t feel guilty about it! :)

    15. Running in races can get expensive. Couple thousand a year, between clothing (stuff wears out, socks that prevent blisters aren’t cheap, I wear through 3-4 pairs of sneakers a year), entry fees to races, travel (even only by car), Skratch, etc.

    16. *Looks shiftly at her horse* Ummm…. a lot. So I won’t judge the nice jigsaw puzzles.

    17. You may already be aware, but I recently stumbled on an excellent-quality brand for jigsaw puzzles — Flametree Publishing, a British outfit, but available at Amaz*n and B*rnes & N*ble. Solid pieces with a minimum of peel, very challenging for the experienced puzzler. Enjoy!

      1. These are gorgeous! This is what I mean, who am I now, a person who has opinions about puzzle brands and wants the fancy ones.

        I’ll just keep telling myself “it costs less than a horse”

        1. These are gorgeous! This is what I mean, who am I now, a person who has opinions about puzzle brands and wants the fancy ones.

          I’ll just keep telling myself “it costs less than a horse”

    18. My hobby is theatre and I’d say I spend about $1000-1200 a year on that if you exclude the cost of travel to Broadway. In years I don’t go to NYC it is probably closer to $300 bc theatre in my city is pretty cheap and I’m somewhat picky about what I see, esp as I don’t do musicals so I’m not going to the big touring shows

      1. I never thought about going to the theater as a hobby! In recent years, I ask for tickets for my birthday or Christmas.

        1. Maybe it is more in the entertainment category. But it is an active pursuit of good shows rather than “Wicked is coming. Let’s get tickets.” And I plan trips to NYC based on the play rather than planning the trip and seeking out a play to fill the time.

    20. I have a mental budget of $300/ month. Some months I hit that, some I don’t even come close. I guess it’s a mental maximum.

    21. Shoot, I forgot about my most expensive hobby of all. Gardening. LOL. I’d say that costs me several thousand a year.

      1. See . . . I think of gardening as home upkeep and all the sports and gym that people have mentioned here as health expenses. Just me, I guess.

    22. I ski, often dragging the family along. my husband tinkers on project cars. $50/mo is a great budget, buy the puzzles! If costs are a concern or if you want to make friends, start a puzzle swap group. We do puzzles too and I haven’t bought one images because our community has a little free library for them :).

    23. My hobby is working out (and fancy eating, but I don’t want to think about that) and I just did the math. And the math was shocking. $9k on personal training 3x/week. And about $3000 for 144 Pilates classes a year.

  7. suburbanites: have any of you changed your backyard into more native plants? i’m considering a multi-year project to do that and trying to figure out planning.

    1. My backyard has a lot of native plants – trees, shrubs, flowers. My lawn is another story. I have a lot of violets, clover, and moss in there, but I am not planning to get rid of my grass.

    2. Yes. I have done this. Toronto, Canada. Slow and steady is the way, as it is hard to know exactly what will thrive in your particular environment in the “abstract.”

      In terms of planning – we found a native plant nursery that does wholesale and sales to the public. They sold “plugs” of plants for about $2/each. Tiny little things, but it gives you the chance to buy volume and variety and see what does well.

      Then, each year we collect seeds from our plants, winter sow, and grow the baby plants up over the summer until we can transplant them into the yard. We are not about 4 years out from where we started and we have very significant native plant coverage. We have achieved all the bee/pollinator/small mammal goals. Last year we had a hawk family living in the backyard. My heart swelled watching momma hawk and 3 babies bathing in our pond….

    3. Yes. we did our front yard – shrank the lawn, planted native mixed shrubs hedge, and formal beds of native plants. You don’t have to go full meadow – just design like you normally would using natives with similar characteristics.

    4. I’ve been thinking about switching to non-invasive at least, since there are a lot of local initiatives to improve ecosystem resilience in light of climate change. And I personally have a lot of red bamboo and privet that could be replaced with something that actually feeds the local birds. But somehow it feels destructive to rip stuff out too! And there are already so many local birds that they can be too loud for me to take calls with the windows open. But I realize they could be carrying seeds to some other neighborhood where the invasive plants are more of a problem.

      1. I got rid of a row of boxwoods last year, and someone bought them via Craigslist AND personally dug them out. I tried and failed to give them away for free but when I put a price on it, people started paying attention. Mine were a few years established so would be expensive to buy in the nursery.
        Also if your bamboo is tall, vegetable gardeners will happily take the canes for trellises.

    5. I’m working on it! I don’t have DH’s involvement because this is not something he enjoys, and you know, a full time job + middle grades kids, so not a ton of time to devote to it. We moved in about 1.5 years ago, first time homeowners and EVERYTHING the sellers had put in is Asian and often invasive. I’ve started planting native perennials, but I’m still trying to figure out whether and how to rip out some of the other things (euonymus that the deer love, spires bushes, a huge non-native viburnum, a couple of clumps of silver grass). I’m in Westchester County in NY burbs and most of my neighbors use landscapers and lots of lawn chemicals, so I’m not the norm at all around here.

      1. Other than kudzu, what’s really invasive? Plain bamboo? I get non-native, but I’m not sure where “invasive” comes in.

        1. bamboo, coral ardisia, nandina, privet, etc, etc. Sago palms may not be invasive, but they’re obnoxious once they get big. There are so many.

        3. It’s typically determined by state. Spirea is invasive in some states, although I don’t think NYS considers it invasive. Rose of Sharon is popular yet invasive. When I moved in, the sellers were growing purple loosestrife which is invasive. English ivy is invasive. Butterfly bush is invasive. Invasive species supplant native species and harm native species (either other plants or the insects and animals that feed on the plants). Some species are non-native but not native. Some natives are aggressive, e.g., certain golden rods.

        4. Invasive means it spreads and displaces native plants – there are so many in the US. In my back yard: japanese honeysuckle, multiflora rose, lesser celandine, privet, barberry, autumn olive, ivy, wisteria, oriental bittersweet, norway maple, princess tree, bamboo. I will never be able to get rid of it all.

          1. oh dear – we definitely have barberry and privet. we’ve tried to cut the privet down and kill it and it just keeps coming back every year.

        5. The ones I see most in my neighborhood that were probably deliberately planted at some point but get fairly out of control are english ivy, privet (popular for privacy hedge because it grows FAST), and nandina (and nandina berries are poisonous to birds). Paulownia (princess trees) are the ones I see most like along the highways. Basically anything that spreads super easily and displaces native species. It’s more than you would think.

        6. English ivy is all over our neighborhood. Hate it. Bamboo is horrid and so difficult to get rid of. Privet. Honeysuckle.

        7. there’s ooh-bad-invasive and then there is omg-get-this-mint-out-of-my-face in gardening. I tend to be lax with verbiage and refer to both as invasive because I hate when things defy me:
          – gooseneck loosetrife!
          – peppermint/spearmint

      2. Yucca. I f’in hate Yucca, it is everywhere in our neighborhood (apparently it was a fad in the 50s/60s?) and despite me digging it out every year it comes back like the stupid weed it is. Ugh.

    6. We are slowly moving towards native plants in our yard, starting with our flower beds. We are not doing a major overhaul or pulling out the things that currently thrive there, just replacing as needed and making small, incremental changes. So as non-native plants age out or decline, we replace them with something native suited to the location. And instead of purchasing annuals, we try to plant native flower seeds. The native plants definitely require less watering and ongoing upkeep than what we had in there before and I think they look really nice. Less cookie-cutter and more lush throughout the entire growing season.

      We also have a rather large grassy lawn and don’t intend to rip it all out, although each year we do expand the flower beds a little further out from the prior year and try to make the space flow better.

    7. Last year I planted with the goal of attracting and feeding bumble bees. It was a wild success and a lot of fun and not expensive since I relied a lot on growing annuals from seed and just not weeding certain plants.

      I am not sure it fit my landscaping goals, so I am still thinking about what I want to do long term.

    8. We had grubs, so our lawn was absolutely destroyed. We took it as an excuse to completely reseed with a pollinator lawn last summer. We’ll see how it’s looking in the spring, but so far so good! Doesn’t even look that different from a traditional lawn, but supposedly will use much less water and be more bee-friendly. We also got 36 plugs of native flowers/grasses for our backyard for about $90 from a nearby city garden sale. TBD on whether they’ll make it through the winter/our dog running through the beds…

    9. Yes, Boston suburbs. No advice unless you post a region other than talk to your local gardening clubs/garden center!

    10. Yes. It is so satisfying.

      My yard is small, so easier to do.
      I let as much clover/violet etc… grow on the grass as it wants. I still mow it.

      Each year I add more flowering perennials, mostly native, with a few non-native but non-invasive ones for sentimental reasons. I want it to be as care-free as possible. But honestly, the more gardening I have started, the more I love it and don’t mind the work. It is my mindfulness meditation.

      I love my tiny local garden store that sells plants and gives me wonderful advice on what to try, how to manage etc… I have also contacted my towns conservatory for advice, and hired one of their young employees to come help me each season with planning/thinking/mapping. So affordable, they love it and I am learning.

      1. Gardening does so much for my physical and mental well-being. I love hearing about others who are into it as well!

        1. Yes, here!!! I don’t even mind weeding my veggie beds or pruning, spending time in the garden is soo good for me.

      2. With the clover and the violet, have you had no issues with crab grass, wild onion, or thistle? (I have and am wondering if I just have the wrong kind of grass or what)

        1. No, I don’t have these at all… Interesting, maybe those are more common in your area? My neighborhood has been so Sterilized for decades that only recently are people starting to let native things grow. So perhaps we don’t have quite as many of these invasive species.

    11. Yes! It’s been a multi-year project for me. I had a lot of english ivy so have spent quite a lot of time ripping that out. I’ve got one more stream bank to go this Spring and then it should all be gone. Killing the privet has also been a battle (not sure if the ivy or privet is the worst, but people, please stop planting these). It’s been kind of a process to figure out what works and slowly filling things. Highly recommend finding a plant nursery that focuses on native plants if you can, and also looking for local plant sales;I am lucky enough to be in an area with 3 major universities and they all have their own arboreteums/botanical gardens that do plant sales every year where you can usually find some natives. Prairie Moon nursey is a good online source for natives. Also, the wildlife is a challenge–I’ve got a lot of deer and rabbits and they really love most of the native flowers (except for the mountain mints; those are indestructible, and pollinators love them. they aren’t showy though). I’m using fencing/netting to get some established.

        1. Honestly we just ripped it out. Rip up what you can, cut it, dig up another point to start ripping up, repeat. It’s a pain. That’s why it’s taken me years to get it out of my relatively small yard. You CAN cover it with a tarp to kill it, but it can take a long time for it to fully die (like a year). Or, though I have not tried this, goat rental to eat your ivy is in fact a thing. We also have a guy in town that specializes in removing invasives that I hired to get rid of the privet–if you have a local gardening facebook group, that’s a good place to ask if anyone knows anyone.

        2. If I can’t pull the roots, I snip it off at the base and paint the stem with roundup.

    12. Any of you suburbanites successfully applied chemicals yourself to get rid of invasives? I read about cut stump methods, e.g., to remove tree of heaven. But most of the instructions are aimed at people with multiple acres of land who buy supplies at tractor supply stores, not Home Depot. And the Facebook pages devoted to invasive eradication also seems to be aimed at that audience. I’m not sure how applicable it is for mere suburban hobbyist gardeners with a 1/3 acre yard. Or do I need to pay for help from a local landscaper?

      1. It probably depends on what invasives you’re trying to get rid of. I’ve used chemicals on occasion because nothing else actually works sometimes.

      2. Gallon mixed with a surfactant and painted on when there’s no rain in the forecast for at least a few days works.
        I’ve also dug smaller ones (up to about 6 inches trunk diameter) by cutting to about 4 feet, then alternately digging and using a 6 foot bar (pointed on one end). It’s a great way to get some frustration out.

    13. We’re slowly starting to do this – where I am (Cleveland) the Cuyahoga Soil & Water Conservation District sells native plants and shrubs, they’re the only ones I would trust at this point. We did a rain garden a few years ago from them and it turned out ok, but none of the native perennials we bought made it.

    14. You might try finding a landscape architect focused on native plants in your area and pay them to develop some plans that you can implement over time. My mother is a landscape architect and did this for a small nursery in Texas.

    15. I recently bought a house with a yard so I’m planning to although I haven’t yet. Portland, OR has a program called Backyard Habitat that’s run by the local audubon society where they’ll send someone to your house to give you advice and resources. There are native plant sales in the spring and fall, and free chip drop so you can get mulch. Try to see if there is a similar program in your area.

    16. Maybe everyone except me already knew this, but I was advised to get in touch with my “local extension office” and its resources, and it was great advice.

    17. I’ve done my front yard and will work on the rest. If you just have grass now, you can smother it with cardboard and replace it with something like clover. Depending on what is native in your area, milkweed, coneflower, and some other things will spread due to birds. Lantana grows really fast. Be mindful of these things when planning. Also, if you want to get your lawn native certified, there are national orgs and often state orgs that will provide you with a list of plants to choose from to meet those certifications.

  8. Mini rant! I correspond regularly with an outside party whose emails always somehow override my own Outlook default format settings and mess up the line spacing on my replies so there is a ridiculous amount of extra while space. I can manually go in and change the paragraph settings back to single space every single time I reply to them, and while that dials my somewhat irrational raised-hackles response back to normal levels, it is a poor use of my time to do so.

    Does anyone know of a way to make my reply emails stick with my default line spacing options?

      1. No, but I feel your pain. The only thing that annoys me more is someone who has a color background on their emails that turns my reply a color too. It probably extra annoys me because their signature block has “have a blessed day” and they work for the government

        2. My former employer had pretty low limits on email inbox storage, and just one of those blue tinted emails with the “blessed day” signature + flower and cloud graphics would often put me over the size limit.

          My favorite was when she send a department-wide blue email accusing everyone of being ANIMALS for not wiping down the counters in the break room and left in her “keep smilin’ have a blessed day” autosig.

        4. Omg yes! Emails with background color are the worst!
          As someone who works for a primarily Teams company, I hate how Zoom invitations have a background color. You reply off of that original invite and your email picks up that blue/gray shade. I’m always hunting through the Outlook menu/sub- menu options to get to the background color button….grr!

    2. I’ve noticed this happening with emails sent between Gmail and Outlook. Not sure there is a fix unfortunately.

    3. I just convert the email to plain text. If they can’t be trusted to not use messy formatting, they don’t get HTML.

  9. I’m travelling for work in April and it’s the first time I’ve flown since 2019. I need to buy some new luggage and I can’t believe how much carry-on sizes vary now. Does anyone have recs for a carry-on that would work for someone who flies once or twice a year?

    4. Unless you are flying internationally the Traveler 21″ spinner almost always works except on tiny regional airplanes (and nothing bigger than a personal item fits in those bins anyway). They also have non-spinners but my shoulders cannot take dragging something behind me.

    5. I love my TravelPro FlightCrew luggage — available only at stores that cater to flight crews, but you can find these readily online. Cost effectiver and sturdy, with biggrer/stronger zippers and more edge-type protection and underplates than the TravelPro lines that are aimed at regular travelers. Travelpro came out with this line of luggage several years ago, so some online stores are out of stock of some of the individual pieces. Good luck!

    6. I travel a lot internationally so I have almost every size and type of suitcase — soft sides,hard sides, carry on, bigger carry on and my hands down favorite is my Delsey Helium Aero international carry on spinner. It’s small, super lightweight (lighter than my Away) and it’s small enough that it fits into most overheads even on some of the smaller regional jets. I love it so much I just bought the next size up when I need a little extra space. I would never go back to two wheels because of the strain on my shoulders and ease of maneuverability through crowds, spinners are much better. And hard sides either fit or they don’t — so many people slightly overstuff their soft side carry ons and then try and jam them into the overheads only to admit defeat — time consuming and frustrating for everyone.

  10. Styling/shopping challenge for you all this Friday! My fortieth birthday is next friday and we’re doing dinner out at a nice restaurant with a group of friends. What should I wear??? Open to shopping! Help!

    1. I’ve been ordering from CBD MD for a few years now. I often get emails about sales. They have just CBD or CBD+THC products.

    2. Camino, but they’re all pretty good. Start with one of the 5mg ones and cut in half to start; give it 45m-3 hours to kick in.

    4. EARLYBIRD. A social media influencer got me but I really like them. They’re great to take the edge off after a stressful day.

  12. I learned that through a team re-org, I’m going to get the role I’ve asked for so that I can switch career fields internally. Current boss went to bay for me and will remain my boss in the new role. This will bring new areas to manage and twice as many people. I’ve got 4-5 weeks before the news is official so I’d like to read and plan as much as I can. New role is operations strategy/management.

    Any people manager books out there that you love? Any words of advice?

    2. The First 90 Days book—read it at the recommendation of others here and it was helpful. I recall it may have a chapter about having a new role but same people/organization.

  13. Paging easily blistered from yesterday! I’ve found that shoes from JCrew and JCrew Factory (lots of real leather options), sneakers from OnClouds, Blondo booties, and Michael Kors Heels work well for my foot shape.

    I’ve also realized the shape of the shoe makes a big difference. I look for something that doesn’t rub on the bony parts. Loafers are my friends, ballet flats need to have a specific cut or they slay my feet. Sperry boat shoes? Disaster. I have a great pair of loafers from Boden but am not sure if it’s the cut or the brand which works best.

  14. I have the opportunity to influence our new round of company shirts and jackets. What is your favorite non polo shirt options?

    1. Make sure to include both men’s and women’s cut shirts. I’m so over the so-called “unisex” sizing (aka men’s sizing) that is way too long and boxy and doesn’t come close to accommodating my curvy hips.

      For jackets, if it’s a 1/4 zip or other pullover style, a kangaroo pocket would be super nice. For anything that’s full zip, pockets that zip (and also interior slip pockets) are awesome. Not sure if anyone in your company would be wearing a jacket out in the field in any capacity, but the ability to keep materials (pen, small notepad, phone, small map, other small handheld stuff) in a secure and dry location is very nice to have.

    2. Please do a full range of sizes. I agree with having separate women’s and men’s size ranges.

      I’d prefer an Oxford type shirt to a polo for sure.

    3. The ubiquitous fleece vest. Much hate on them, but they can go on top of almost any shirt.

    4. Quarter zips are popular in my office, and pockets are the best. Vests are also very versatile.

      However, absolutely make sure there are cuts for men and women and that they are size-inclusive for your entire group. If you can’t accommodate everyone, suggest something non-wearable instead.

      1. Or things like beanies, gloves, nice branded bags (like a real canvas tote with zipper, not one of those drawstring backpacks).

    6. I love having a quarter-zip option. Vests are good, too. And yes, please offer both men’s and women’s sizing!

  15. Does anyone have a recommendation for a clean, comfortable hotel in Oxford (England)? I’m going to a work conference at the Examination Schools this summer and would like to stay nearby. The reviews of hotels in the area are mostly pretty bad–and they are weirdly cheap. I’d prefer a room under $250, but most of all don’t want to find weird hairs in my bed. Staying at a college (what I usually do) is not an option this time. Thanks!

    1. Last time I went, I stayed at The Black Boy. It’s in Headington, just outside Oxford. It was super-easy to get into the city centre and back by bus (you can get a 24-hour bus ticket for cheap) or taxi. The hotel was nice and did good food too.

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