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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I'll be honest: I actually prefer this skirt in both the black and white versions that it comes in (green can be such a hard color to wear against bare legs!) but it was such a lovely color that I had to feature the green one! In general, though — love the silk skirt, the pleated details at the waistband, the flared bottom — it just looks like a swingy, easy skirt that will go with any multitude of tops. Lots of sizes are still available in Yoox (in all 3 colors) — and for $149, it's a decent price for a silk skirt. (Note: Yoox now offers free standard shipping, which I think is a new thing for them — yay!) CK CALVIN KLEIN Knee length skirt Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail editor@corporette.com with “TPS” in the subject line. (L-2)Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Emma
Gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful. I love every aspect of this skirt, including the color! (Although I’m not sure it would look fantastic with my pale legs, as you say.)
Chicago
Pretty! Does anyone know the length? (The curse of the tall girl with knobby knees).
u
LOVE. Have to order. First thing I’ve ever seen on this site that I truly love.
b23
Bah. The green is already sold out in my size. I absolutely love that color, the shape, everything. Nice choice, Kat!
u
Same. Sooo Sad. :(
ANON
So sad this is sold out in green in my size!
Bonnie
I wonder if they were bought out by Corporettes.
kz
I’m loving all the green this week. Keep the fun spring colors coming!
kz
If anyone needs a 4, I found this one that’s similar, though cotton rather than silk: http://www1.yoox.com/item/YOOX/COMBOBELLA/dept/clothingwomen/tskay/3FD17CD7/rr/1/cod10/35139329MA/sts/sr_clothingwomen80
Sadly, I am on a shopping ban. someone give it a loving home for me:-)
E.E.
Ooh, love that one. Not sure why exactly, but the waistband on the original pick doesn’t do it for me. Too bad I’m not a size 4. Could pick it up to further motivate my sluggish effort to lose 15 pounds, but that’s probably a bad idea. :)
Clerky
Love the color and the a-line style. Great pick.
VA Gal
Oh, that’s beautiful! I am sick to death of basic black, but sadly, the emerald green is not available in anything close to my size. :(
Style Help!
Threadjack:
I bought this blazer on sale for $22 at the Gap a few weeks ago, but have yet to wear it because I just cannot for the life of me figure out how to make it work for the office. Maybe it is just not possible? It looks fine with jeans and a tank, but I was really hoping to make it an office item, at least part-time, and just can’t think of how to make it work. Any suggestions would be seriously appreciated :) TIA!
http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?searchCID=25781&vid=1&pid=770853&scid=770853002
PS: Lurve the silk skirt!
Strawberry Shortcake
I’d wear it with gray or charcoal pants and on of those Target “dressier” t-shirts. Maybe a white and gray patterned one or a darker gray than the pants.
Anon in Ny
Perhaps with a pencil skirt (white in the spring/summer, or perhaps a nice grey/shell pink color in the fall) and a nice crisp button down shirt? A red blouse with a white pencil skirt would look fantastic with this blazer (or vice versa, though honestly a red pencil skirt is a bit much for my office). I also have about a half dozen silk shells in various colors that I like to wear under blazers like this, usually paired with either a pencil skirt or neutral pants.
Style Help!
I love these ideas, thank you! I think a silk shell may make a ton of difference, great idea!
kz
where do you get your silk shells? I have a hard time finding just a simple silk shell.
Anon in Ny
Maybe it was seasonal, but JCrew and Ann Taylor have had a bunch lately. I’ve bought at least 1 or 2 every other season from them. Ann Taylor also had a lovely draped silk top with slight cap sleeves this fall that I think they’re bringing back for spring. Perfect to wear under jackets – I can take off my jacket without being too bare in the office. Very similar to this one, but in a solid color:
http://www.anntaylor.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=29678&N=1200005&pCategoryId=3939&categoryId=183&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_183&loc=TN&gridSize=sm&showAll=true&defaultColor=Winter%20White&defaultSizeType=Regular
Bonnie
I think this jacket would look great with a white pencil skirt and a pop of color with a simple tee or cami.
Style Help!
Thanks!
Anon 2.0
This is why buying something that doesn’t go with something you already own is a bad idea. Preferably it should go with at least 3 things already in your closet.
Style Help!
It was $22! Worst case scenario, I have a fun tuxedo blazer to wear with jeans or fun dresses on the weekend, which is perhaps how this piece is meant to actually be worn. Best case scenario, thanks to the help of the stylish ladies on this board, I will have an extra work outfit.
If I only bought things that would go with at least 3 things in my closet, I would have a very, very boring closet!!
Lonely Corporette
I apologize for the early threadjack, but I was hoping you all might have some ideas.
I’m lonely. I have a few good female friends, but none of them live in my city. My work colleagues are great, but are all significantly older and at a different station in life. I’m 28, unmarried, and childless. I have a great boyfriend, but he’s a big 4 CPA, so for the next few months, he will be basically living at the office. I think his busy season made me realize how few friends I have. (wow, how lame am I?)
Growing up, my life was similar to what I’ve read about other ladies on here. Most female friends were at best superficial, and at worst back-stabbing. It wasn’t until law school and my clerkship that I started making some real connections with other women. Unfortunately, as I mentioned above, I’m no longer in the same city as these ladies.
So, I guess my embarrassing question is: how do I make new friends as an adult? I’m certain I can’t be the only one who feels this way. And if any of you lovely Corporette ladies live in Richmond, VA, we should hang out!
Rockette
Read the weekend thread! We had a long post on this very subject. I am in the same boat. I have heard mixed reviews about meetup.com. I live in the North were few people have “church communities” like they do in the South. But I have a friend in Alexandria that met many of his new friends through his church (Baptist). He however, is married and his wife is expecting so I know that alone is an ice breaker. I guess all I can say for now is I feel ya!
Noner
Do stuff where you meet people. They may not all end up being friends material, but its harder to make new friends if you don’t meet new people. :)
Volunteer at an organization you like/support/sounds interesting. Take a class (cooking, improv comedy, knitting, etc.) with multiple sessions, so you have reason to see people on more than one occasion. What is something you have always wanted to try, but never had time/opportunity/guts to try?
surrounded by lawyers
If you’re “lame,” I am equally lame! Similar situation in all respects. It does get tougher by your late twenties, I think.
Are you a book club kind of person? I found one on Craigslist–it’s all-female, all my age group. They already knew each other, but they were very welcoming to me. Our meetings have turned into general chat sessions plus book discussions, and we often have a group e-mail going in between, just exchanging thoughts or news. We invite each other to things in between meetings. In other words, budding friendships.
I do think Craigslist can be useful for finding buddies in whatever you like to do. Check it out, tailor to your own interests. Likewise meetup.org. Try not to get too discouraged by the inevitable duds, too. Like anything else, you have to make several attempts for every one success that comes through! In the meantime, weekly phone dates with friends who live elsewhere, to keep yourself from ever feeling too isolated?
Lonely Corporette
Thanks for the replies so far! This may be a dumb question, but where on Craigslist do you find these things? Under the Community section?
surrounded by lawyers
There should be headings like “activity partners” or “groups.” There’s even a section of people looking for friends, under Personals! Always a gamble, but often there will be a post pretty similar to what you just wrote. I actually did it about 5 years ago and met some girls I really liked–obviously you just have to be careful, as always, until you know who you’re dealing with.
JessC
If you’re a knitter or crocheter (or interested in learning), check out http://www.ravelry.com. You can search for groups by geographical area and you find groups that meet up regularly. I’m a member of a local “stich ‘n bitch” and while knitting/crochet is discussed during the meetings, the vast majority of the conversation is about our lives and common interests.
SW
After graduation, I relocated last summer to a new city and state. At the time I was single, 30, and like you, had not made many female friends before law school. I joined our local young professionals group and decided to join our town’s Junior League fall provisional class. Through those groups, I met two girls who are now probably my closest friends. I would check into similar organizations in your area, or start volunteering with charities geared towards helping women. I’m on the board of our Dress for Success chapter, and we have one token male and about a dozen women in their late 20s and early 30s.
Unfortunately, I’m in West Virginia or we would definitely hang out!
Carolina
second the Junior League. My new class has TONS of “transplants” to our city, and it is very easy to transfer to the league in a new city should you ever move. There are regular meetings and socials, and lots of opportunites for volunteerism.
Bernadette
You are not alone! I am 28, married, with hubby who is a big 4 CPA. My situation is a little bit different in that I have great friends from growing up that have stayed that way, but none of them live in the same city. I have since then had trouble finding many meaningful friendships, but the ones I do have are pretty busy people. It can be very lonely at times.
I don’t have advice on the meeting people front, but one of the best things I did was decide to train for and run a half marathon during busy season. I ran my first half marathon this past Sunday with one of my childhood friends. We trained apart, but together, using the runkeeper app and met up in a different city to run it. I ran in the evenings, so it kept me busy when hubby was working late. And the extra endorphins have really helped me from getting so depressed when busy season gets stressful/miserable for hubby.
I feel you pain. Too bad I am not in Richmond.
Fiona
Making new friends as an adult is hard! I hear you. A couple of suggestions:
– Reach out to acquaintances and people that you know tangentially in your area. Friends of friends, people from law school that you weren’t close to at the time but that you generally liked, family friends, etc. Set up some brunch dates or dinners to catch up with those people, and then keep doing it. If you’re consistent about inviting people out for activities or meals, you will have turned an acquaintance into a real friend before you know it.
– I know this sounds cliche, but consider taking some classes in something that interests you. Languages, cooking, sewing, golf… whatever. Be friendly, talk to the people in your class, and if you hit it off with anyone in particular, see if they want to get dinner after the class, etc.
I think the key is to be willing to be the person who puts yourself out there. It’s not easy, but it does work!
Not a Longtermer
I am having a similar issue. Unlike you, my coworkers are very friendly and many are in my age bracket, but most insist upon talking about work or politics all the time. I would like to get away from that outside of work, as this area tends to be pretty political and I do not plan on staying here more than a few years.
I am trying to get involved in activities that interest me- I have met a few people at yoga and am trying to do some volunteer activities. I have a coworker who invited me to join junior league, but she and her roommate don’t give it good reviews at all- the group seems kind of juvenile.
Mella
Yes – not speaking to Junior League specifically, but as a general caveat: Making new friends is like dating. Expect to meet some people you like just fine, one or two people who may become your best friends, and some people you may want to run away from as fast as possible.
Trying to be more social is worthwhile, of course. Just… speaking from experience, take the “I joined X group and now they are my best friends everrrrr!” with a grain of salt.
KateL
You are not alone! This was me five years ago – I left a stressful job with a heavy travel schedule for a regular 40 hour work week. Suddenly instead of being stressed I was a little bored/restless. As a working adult, to meet new people you have to “activity” shop – take classes, participate in volunteer organizations, etc. For me, the first step was a charity running program. After that I picked up knitting again and a regular knit night through Ravelry. The people I know from running and knitting are professionally diverse, so odds are I wouldn’t have met them if it weren’t for our shared activity.
Good luck!
AIMS
If you are at all into sports, it’s one the best and easiest ways to meet people, I think. Join a league — bowling, volleyball, whatever — there are usually quite a few with people in their late 20s. I think it’s much easier to bond in those situations, and even if it doesn’t work out, you can get in a good workout ;)
I think we all become more guarded as we get older and less forgiving of each others flaws. I have friends from childhood that I have nothing in common with now, or that I often find annoying for various reasons, but I am always willing to overlook all that because we have such a reserve of good will. Try to take this approach with new people you meet now (it’s much harder, I know!). Maybe your husband even has some colleagues with similarly “abandonded” S.O.’s to whom you can reach out for a quasi-support group?
ANON
I totally can relate on the childhood friends you no longer relate to as you grow older. It really irks me how the friendships have changed and I think I just hang in there because of the years of friendship. But really, it’s terrible/sad how that happens.
I agree with everyone else about getting involved in groups. I would look for alumnae groups in your town, Junior League, or professional groups (i.e. Young Lawyer groups). All that helps to make connections with people and develop friendships!
Tired Squared
I actually AM in Richmond, VA! A little younger than you but just finishing up law school.
Lonely Corporette
Email me! peacocktulips at gmail
Tired Squared
Okay, this has “posted too fast” twice, so hopefully third time’s the charm!
I actually AM in Richmond, VA! A little younger than you but just finishing up law school (also unmarried/childless). If you’re interested I’d love to meet a fellow Corporette too!
Anon in Ny
Just curious, has Kat done local “meetups” for regular readers before? A few of the other sites I frequent do them once every few months and its nice to meet women in similar life situations who have something in common. I’d love to see something similar started on this site – I know my husband and I just moved to a new city which, while commutable to my home town, is still a bit too far to meet up with my friends on a regular basis. We’re both dying to meet some local friends up here, and so far meeting people at the gym/exercise classes/work colleagues hasn’t done the trick.
Kat
You know, local meetups were something I really planned/wanted to do back when I shed my anonymous cloak — and since then my life has just been an absolute whirlwind, for a variety of reasons — so, like many other goals for Corporette, they just haven’t happened yet. We had one in Dallas this July which had a small turnout but was a lot of fun — my husband came as well since we were in town for a family function, and I remarked to him afterwards how much I’d liked everyone there and truly felt like we were new friends.
I could do one in DC — no plans to go there but it isn’t terribly hard to get down there. (And, of course, NYC.) I think the w/e commenters were also talking about a meetup in Florida? I’ll be down in Palm Springs for a wedding around 4/1, so maybe that could work also. I’ll also be in the San Francisco/Palo Alto area around May 19-20 for a conference for my job — those 2 days will be absolutely bonkers, but I could always do something before or after the fun starts. Would really love to meet you guys!
*Formerly* Preggo Angie
Oooh… if you do something in the Bay Area that weekend I might make the trip with the little one! I’m always looking for an excuse to visit SF!
s-p-s
DC would be fantastic! We’d love to have you, Kat.
chicwithbrains
I second Angie and the SF visit!
Sunny
Boston shouldn’t be too hard to do too!
SF Bay Associate
No shocker that I’d be into an SF/PA area visit!
Sydney Bristow
I would love it if there was one in NYC!
CW
Would love a NYC meetup!
Kat
Boston is doable too, I think — was there briefly for the TJ Maxx thing in November and realized I hadn’t really been to the city since I went to Harvard Summer School in 1994 — and even then that was mostly Cambridge, not Boston proper.
Ok, I’ll start planning the calendar. Should have a bit more time in a few weeks, so I’ll see what I can do to get these things on my calendar. Ladies, if you have opinions and/or can suggest a good spot to meet in NYC, Boston, WDC, San Francisco, please e-mail me directly — kat@corporette.com. Tx!
skippy pea
How about Chicago?
divaliscious11
Yeah, definitely the Windy City!
Caroline
I second the DC suggestion!
Bonnie
Third for D.C. ;-)
Wondering
Anyone else in Philly? I would love to attend a Corporette meetup!
Janie
If NYC happens, I’m there!
Ekaterin Nile
Anyone in Minneapolis/St. Paul?
Fiona
Another vote for Boston!
Anonymous
How about a “Second Annual” Dallas meet up? I wasn’t in Dallas for last year’s.
Louise
Mid-May SF Bay Area meetup would be so great! I’m rarely in town, but will definitely be there on those dates.
Richmond Temporarily
I’m a little older (33) but will be working in Richmond for the next few months. I would love to meet some folks to hang out with down there.
MM
Over the weekend on the thread I suggested only half-facetiously that we should have some Corporette meet-ups in various cities. Good not only for networking but, frankly, for making new friends with similar goals and personalities. There was some interest, but I think maybe my thread got buried. If people actually are interested, I’d be happy to take the lead to suggest something in DC … and maybe others in other cities would do similar.
Elise
I would be up for that — but I’m in Boston, sadly
Sunny
I posted above – I’m in NH but would attend a Boston one.
Lawgirl
Team DC!
MM
Yay! Looks like Kat is thinking of doing it based on her post above!
Friendly Associate
You may not have heard of the Inns of Court (Sometimes called the Inn of Court in the U.S.). I am a member of my local Inn and I have found it to be the most positive place ever for meeting attorneys and judges in a friendly environment. A quick search of the Inns website reveals that there are two Inns in Richmond: The John Marshall American Inn of Court and The Lewis F. Powell, Jr. American Inn of Court. I’m not posting the link here, but a web search gets you there quite easily.
Members of an Inn are highly encouraged to bring guests, and the meeting format generally includes a friendly dinner, some time for mingling and a “lesson” which helps with CLE requirements! Sub-groups from my Inn ski/snowboard together, bowl, do pro-bono work, and even go dancing! It is primarily a professional organization, but I count myself lucky to have found a number of great friends!
K
Inns are really good, both personally and professionally! Second the endorsement!
My tips
I feel you!! I moved to a new city about four months ago, and was lonely for a bit. Now, for a variety of reasons, my social life has exploded. Here’s what I did:
1. Joined the Junior League – I joined the local chapter in my city and have met some nice, interesting, young professionals. Obviously I haven’t clicked with everyone, but chances are you’ll meet some people you do click with. I really hit it off with one girl and she then invited me to her book club, and I met other great women through that club as well. The other great thing about the Junior League is that they have a TON of events — trainings, happy hours, monthly dinners, etc., so if nothing else, you can sign up for a bunch of events and keep yourself busy that way.
2. Befriended colleagues – I am friendly with the people in my department, but didn’t gel with them 100%. However, I made it a point to reach out to people outside of my department, and ended up really hitting it off with two other people who were in the same boat as me (recently moved into town and looking for new friends). Now we hang out all the time with our SOs, and it’s been great.
3. Join an activity — I’m a singer and love music, and joined a wonderful local chorus where I’ve met great women (albeit much older to me).
4. Take a class – consider taking a cooking class or a sewing class or whatever else floats your boat.
5. Have you thought about reaching out to clerks in Richmond? They’re probably all in the same boat as you (new place, few friends in town, etc.)
One thing that did not work for me was meetup — I tried it once, and I felt that the person leading it misrepresented herself. She was a lot older than I thought and while she was perfectly nice, we just didn’t hit it off. I will also say that the people that meetup attracts tend to be more socially awkward, IMHO. I’m sure you’ll have lots of folks who are in your situation and want to meet people, but my one experience left me skeptical.
I’m not in Richmond, unfortunately, otherwise I’d love to hang out. Good luck!
MelD
Am I a horrible person for not wanting to network much in my free time? I am the type who really wants to spend my time outside of work pursuing hobbies or doing things with friends who aren’t going to care about my work. It also sounds like (at least in my area) the Junior League is a whole lot of pressure that I don’t really need in my life. I guess I may be atypical for a lawyer, but I just don’t consider myself a person that would enjoy those gatherings.
CW
I have no desire to network in my free time either! But, I think finding friends is a bit like networking…
Nonny
I am so with you, and I don’t think you are a horrible person at all. I spend enough of my day thinking about work. I certainly don’t need to be surrounded by it outside of the workplace, and I love meeting and spending time with people who have other interests! I strictly ration my “official networking” events because frankly, although I know they are good for business I can’t stand them. When I have to attend a networking event I do so with two concepts in mind:
1. this is only 2 or 3 hours out of my life – I can handle anything for that long; and
2. is there anything I can do for/help the people I am meeting? (this is a concept I learned when attending a “how to network” talk once – one of the self-made business magnates in my area does this every time he meets someone, and says that is how he built his business network)
If I don’t focus on these ideas I find the whole event excruciating. I’d much rather go to my local knit night.
Jay
I’m with you. I want to do “fun” stuff when I’m not at work, and I don’t think networking and talking about work is fun. I love my job, but I love my personal life more.
AIMS
I don’t want to network, ever. Especially not in my free time, and especially not for “friends.”
This is actually one of the reasons I think it’s so hard to make meaningful connections with people as you get older. We are always concerned about how we are perceived, our image, etc., and don’t actually get to be ourselves and enjoy ourselves. I have a former co-worker who calls me for lunch or drinks every so often, and I swear I feel like I am being “networked” whenever I go. Frankly, I do not enjoy going. You can’t force genuine friendship. Acquintances, sure; but actual friends, not so much.
UKYogi
I swear I feel like I am being “networked” whenever I go….
AIMS, I hate this! I have some acquaintances who are into these home-selling schemes and I especially hate it when any interest they have in me dissolves immediately they discover I am not interested in buying what they are selling.
MelD
I’m the type of girl with whom everyone wants to share their deepest, darkest secrets. Usually that means I will have a close connection with someone for a very short time and then the person becomes awkward or may become interested in me romantically when I have no interest in him/her. What I really want is long-term friends I can have for more than a month or two!
Jas
You’re definitely not alone, I’m in the same boat. While I’ve made friends with a coworker and her fiance, who are awesome, I’m finding it really hard to find people I can relate to. I’m in a small, fairly isolated town where everyone settles down with a partner and kids pretty much out of high school, so being 26 and single makes me a bit of an oddity. Here, social activities mostly revolve around sports, so I’ve joined yoga and a beginners cross-country skiing group. I’m planning on joining a book club and a local research group too. So far no luck, but I’m hoping!
govvie
I’m in the same boat…as I like to say, I am my own demographic. But kind of like structured stuff as a kid (Brownies, dance, etc.), I’ve decided I need to do the adult equivalent, which means showing up at the running club(s) consistently, taking group gym classes consistently, etc. I have a dog and run into some of the same people out on walks but, taking my own advice, should also go to the dog park at the same time on the weekends. The “young professional” group at my church is a bit too rigid for me, and Meetup has been hit-or-miss, though there are a couple of promising new groups close to me. The thing with the Meetup groups sometimes is the “creepy guy” factor, so one whiff of that and I’m out. It’s apparently pretty common, since I’ve noticed that new groups are explicitly prohibiting lounge lizard stuff- like they’ll kick guys out if that starts. I’m sure dudes run across creepy girls, but not as threatening. At any rate, yep, feels like kindergarten or first grade, or even freshman year in college, but at least apparently I am not the only one. P. S. We should really do a Corporette get-together in DC or VA somewhere!
Annie
This was me two years ago and now I have a wonderful group of female friends in my life. It gets better! What I did:
1. Reached out to (almost) everyone I knew and asked if they knew anyone in my new area that could give me some insight on the area and meet me for a drink (my treat).
2. Joined a book club in the area. A friend email- introduced me to an old classmate in the new area who emailed some friends in the book club recommending I join it.
3. Took a ceramics class at a local community college. Didn’t meet a ton of people through this, but it felt really good to have somewhere to go once a week and be productive (without thinking of work).
4. Joined a (younger) non-profit board.
5. Said yes to everything someone invited me to in the first 4 months, whether I thought it sounded fun or whether I thought I would connect with the person inviting me.
TKA
Hi! I live in Richmond! I am 29, married but no kids. I have lived all over and, while I love Richmond, I think it’s a hard place to meet people. I have been here for 5 years, and still don’t feel like I have a lot of friends in town. We should totally meet up!
Lonely Corporette
Hi TKA! I would love to meet. My email is peacocktulips at gmail. My name is Alexis. :)
L
I’m not sure I like this – the color is indeed lovely, but the waistband is odd. I also have trouble with colored skirts in general – I like to wear printed skirts since I can match one of the colors in the skirt to my jacket or sweater, but how does one do that with solid color skirts without veering into 80s colorblock territory?
MelD
I do not like this skirt either for the same reason- the waistband just looks like it makes the model’s waist look larger than it really is.
AIMS
I think “colorblocking” is usually only a problem with certain colors. E.g., black & cobalt blue or bright pink, etc.
Also, you can always wear a color skirt with a pattern top (Boden has many cute options). Or break up the solid color skirt & solid top with a complimentary but non-matching shoe or bag.
FWIW, I am not sure I would wear this skirt to work, but I could definitely see myself wearing it with some cute wedges and a light beigy tank for drinks in the summer!
MsZ
Sigh . . . is it time for light beigy tanks and outdoor summer drinks yet??? I’m dying here!
AIMS
It’s supposed to be 63 in NY on Friday. Not quite summer, but will feel pretty damn close after the winter we’ve had. Hopefully, everyone will be experiencing similarly warm thaws!
Sydney Bristow
All the windows in my Brooklyn apartment are open right now. It is beautiful outside today! I hope the weather this week is not just a tease and that it won’t start snowing again next week.
AtlantaAttorney
I am loving all the green pieces lately, such lovely spring-y shades! Am definitely on the lookout for something green to add to my closet.
Lizadoo
Holy moly! Advice/opinions needed!
My husband’s been offered an excellent position in Norway (we’re in the U.S.). I’m an attorney and I just started my current position a few months ago. I’ve posted before about my ambivalence about my job, but I’m definitely acclimating to it and I’m comfortable now.
I don’t know if I would even have work authorization in Norway. This is a great opportunity for him, but means I most likely wouldn’t have a job for a while, if it all. It would also result in a short term gig on the resume. But on the other hand, I’ve never lived abroad, and I feel as though now might be the only time we could feasibly do this (no kids, no house). It would be 2-3 years. What to do?!
CW
I can’t give you good advice on this topic, but I would move in a heartbeat! It sounds like it would be amazing.
Can your husband explore the situation a little with his potential employer? Maybe just ask some general questions about how you could find employment, etc. Perhaps the company can put you in touch with a lawyer that they use, who could be a good resource on how to use your degree in Norway. Or, maybe your current firm will allow you to be a remote resource?
MelD
My sister is in a similar situation and will be moving to Switzerland to be with her husband in about a month. She does not know if she will be able to find a job as she isn’t fluent in German, but she will be able to get a visa that allows her to work. If she can’t find anything, she plans on using the time to start a family as the benefits for new mothers there are much better than what we have here.
Lizadoo
That’s actually something else I was thinking about. The idea of having a baby nowhere near friends and family is a little daunting, but I always kind of wanted to stay home with any future baby for the first couple of years anyway.
Ann
The great thing about having a baby is that people get so excited at the prospect of a new baby that they come to you, no matter where you are. You could give birth in a yurt on the Mongolian steppes and people would find a way to get there. I have an older friend who has flown to Australia three times in the past year and a half because that’s where her daughter, son-in-law and twin baby granddaughters are. Norway isn’t nearly as far. :) Plus, as I understand it, maternity and baby care in Norway is amazing and mostly free.
Ann
GO GO GO GO GO!! If you don’t have a house and kids, now is the time to do it. You may never get an opportunity like this again, and if you do you may not be able to take it.
The “short-term job on the resume” thing is not the deal-breaker many people think it is, especially if the reason for the short time at the job is “my husband got transferred to Norway and we lived there for three years.” That is a very reasonable reason to have only been somewhere a short time, and I would be way more inclined to think “wow, how neat” than to think “oh, this person is a problem.”
I think you should be able to get some kind of authorization to work there – your husband’s company may be able to help you – and if not, think of some ways you could make it work. Could you consult, either independently or back to your current office? Ever wanted to write a book? What about doing a grad degree in something that will help you down the line, either there in Norway or via an online degree program in the States?
I think the positives you will reap from having this experience greatly outweigh the negatives. If I was in your shoes, I would jump at this opportunity in a heartbeat. Remember, obstacles are just opportunities in disguise. :) Good luck!
Sydney Bristow
I completely agree that moving to Norway will be the perfect reason for having a short term job on your resume. This sounds like an amazing opportunity! I’m part Norwegian and completely jealous!
MM
I agree, and think maybe this is an opportunity to leave a job you are less-than-excited about without having it look bad.
RoadWarriorette
My family is Norwegian, and I have spent a lot of time over there. It is fabulous!! The people are friendly, the scenery is gorgeous, they have a fascinating history, and it’s easy to get to other places in Scandinavia.
The biggest problem is the winter. If you live in the Northern US, this may not be a big deal for you. I live in Texas, and I don’t know if I could handle the winter.
Since you have a job that you are lukewarm about, I think you should strongly consider it. I also think that it would be very easy to explain a short term gig to a future employer, and that the experience you will gain from living overseas will more than make up for it.
I’m jealous!
RoadWarriorette
Sorry! Hit reply too soon.
I’m jealous. What a cool opportunity!!
And I looooooove this skirt.
anonymous
Go to Norway if you’re at all inclined – it’s a beautiful country, virtually everyone speaks some English, and it’s a different model of how a democratic society can work. Check out both Norwegian and multinational companies to see if they can use someone to advise on American law. You’ll have to be creative, but I’ll bet you’ll be happy you took the chance.
Nonny
Seriously….why would you NOT go??? Life is not all about the resume anyway!
RKS
DO IT!! I’ve lived abroad several times and am so happy I took those opportunities.
I explored this issue a decade or so ago, when my then-fiance/now-husband was considering a temporary job in Finland. I was in law school in the US, but doing a semester abroad at the time in the Netherlands. I went to a few professors to ask their advice. Their reactions:
Do an LLM. It’s to keep your mind busy, boost on resume, connections. On a related note, look into teaching at a local law school. At the university I attended, there were several ex-pats teaching in the English-language Erasmus programme.
Have a baby. It’s a built-in break to stay home for X time with baby.
N
I’m usually not including my blog link in my posts as it is not a corporate blog, but since you posted about Norway…
I am currently working in Norway, and do have some knowledge of the job-searching process from abroad – so feel free to leave me a comment on my blog (embarrassingly enough, I see the last post was back in December) – in lieu of putting my e-mail address out there. As long as you leave your e-mail address, there, I can contact you and you can ask any questions you like.
FinanceGal
While this could be an awesome opportunity for both of you, please do consider what you’ll be doing with your time and whether that meshes with your personality type.
I’m currently living in Taiwan- we moved for my job, and my husband is unable to work here. It’s been both a great and awful experience for us. My husband enrolled in Chinese classes through a local university, and is doing a master’s degree through a distance program, but he still feels tremendously isolated. A lot of the factors that we’ve had to contend with might be avoided by the difference in the nature of Taiwan v. Norway, but please make sure you go into it with your eyes wide open. Everyone posting above about how hard it is to make friends in the States- imagine trying to find a support network when you know no one, don’t have an office to go to for basic interactions, and your mere presence at a dinner or event changes the dynamics (i.e. everyone has to switch into English to accomodate you). My husband is an outgoing and friendly guy, and has really struggled with this.
While we would still make the same decision knowing what we do now, you need to understand that you’ll miss a ton of important milestones back home: weddings, births, funerals (we’ve lost three family members in the 18 months we’ve been here), etc. The travel time will certainly be less for you than it is for us, but the time and expenses add up, and you will have to pick and choose what to attend. You will be away from both of your families for holidays. Are you OK with that?
Expat marriages either suffer horribly or the experience brings you together like nothing else can.
The positives are much easier to imagine: travel, expanding your worldview, the adventure of it all! I just worry after having watched a number of marriages crumble during these international postings that the ‘trailing spouse’ goes into it with unrealistic expectations.
Good luck with your decision!
AN
No advice for your job per se, but I’d go if it were me. No kids/house, so best time to experience Norway/Scandinavia.
Lizadoo
Thanks so much for all the input ladies! I’m definitely leaning towards doing it. It’s a scary prospect, but I think I’ll regret it more if we turn it down. We can always come back!
N
Just adressing some of the points here:
1. Most Norwegians speak English fluently, and won’t have a problem switching for dinner parties/conversations, etc.
2. Having a baby… You’ll be out of a support system from back home – but health care in Norway is next to free (with a fairly low self-pay). Very little need for extra health insurance, once you’re registered as living in Norway.
3. Cost of living is high. The wages make up for it, but a lot of foreigners gasp at the prices – and there is a lot of stuff you won’t be able to get. (A country with close to 5 million people have less need for a huge selection than a country such as the US.)
4. There is a money limit to how much you can buy from abroad without having to pay toll on it. The limit, being absurdly low, is 200 kr – or $35. This and the above prices being why most Norwegians love tax-free shopping abroad.
5. The weather. We do have winters and the past two have been colder than in a long time. That being said, this depends on where you end up living. While some parts of Norway never see the light of day in the winter, and most of it is covered by snow, there are parts where you can get a spring feeling in February.
6. Norwegians are not necessarily easy to get to know at first. But judging by the recent comments about problems getting friends when moving to a new city, that’s not unique.
7. Higher Education in Norway is free (at least for now). Use this opportunity to take classes that you might not necessarily take. Granted a lot of them are in Norwegian, but there also exists classes in English.
I don’t know where you will be living, but as I said above, feel free to drop me a comment and I’ll answer questions you might have.
Jade Moon
I have SADD. I was born and raised in Southern California and Hawaii. I awoke to sunny days, lunched under blue skies, and came home during sunset.
However, my
My job required a seven month stint in a dark and cold state, and I crashed emotionally. I woke up in the dark, went to work in the dark, came home in the dark, and I, a child of sunshine and soft breeze, became almost paralyzed with grief. I was never so glad to return home in my life.
If you have lived your life in the northern parts of the U.S. or Canada, this likely would not trouble you. But it was a deal-breaker for me.
Good luck to you whichever way you decide.
Fresh brazilian...
Well I know we were discussing brazilian waxes last week, so I decided to go for it, and went for my first ever brazilian yesterday. The pain was manageable, but 24 hours later I am still sore and I have a million bright red bumps, basically where every hair was, as if I have the worst razor burn imaginable. Does this happen to people? Is it going to go away?! I’m kind of freaked out.
ANON
This was me after every single brazilian. It should go away in a few days. Now I laser, which is incredibly better for my skin, because the waxing was just too harsh for me (light skinned). But it does go away, just need to give it time.
Batgirl
How painful is the laser treatment? And how pricey?
Cardiganista
Don’t worry! Especially with your first, the little red bumps will last maybe 48 hours, but they will gradually fade. If you can help it, don’t have hot showers or a hot bath tonight or tomorrow and that will help.
CC
Just as a side, this isn’t true for everyone. I had a brazillian 3 different times at really upscale places, and the bumps were for about a week. Some people just can’t do it and have sensitive skin. (I also got white bumps everywhere it was so awful)
jcb
There are lots of products that help with that (I get brazilians and have really sensitive skin). Your salon probably sells some that you could try. I use Tend Skin (which you can buy on drugstore.com, I think) the first couple of days after a wax.
Anna Banana
On a related note, I tend to get ingrown hairs when it starts to come back in–what do you do if it doesn’t resolve itself quickly? Are there ways to get rid of them short of seeing a doctor?
Elise
I wait until part of the hair reaches the surface and then tweeze it out. MDs, is this a good idea or a bad one?
Anne
I use an exfoliant in the shower (St Ives apricot scrub). I used to get ingrowns all the time, but this has helped a lot!
Another Sarah
Yup, normal. I have super sensitive skin, and my red bumps usually go away after a day or so (brazilian takes about a day and a half). It’s just your pores saying, “Umm, what just happened?” They should get the drift by tomorrow. :-)
Anon in Ny
It should go away within another day or so. Its more common if you have light skin and/or sensitive skin. Putting some witch hazel on the skin helped me, as did popping an aspiring.
Remember to exfoliate within the next few days – it will help keep away ingrown hairs!
Legally Brooklyn
Yesterday someone was looking for links to clothing that did not violate her ethics/principles. The blog A Cup of Jo linked to the online boutique Future Standard that focuses on ethical clothing and accessories. http://www.shopfuturestandard.com/
There’s a lot of cute stuff there and a lot of the clothing is made in the US.
Jessica
Hi Legally Brooklyn,
Thank you so much for suggesting us! We really appreciate it. We do our best to find the best looking clothing that is aligned with our values.
We’d love to hear what your values are as well!
thanks,
Jessica
Loren
Hi guys, I desperately need some perspective! I am about to graduate from law school and have accepted a job in another city (Yay, job! Boo, moving!). The law firm wants me to work part time while I study for the bar. This should be fine, except that I will only be getting paid about half of my normal salary, and moving can be such an expensive process!
I am thinking it is worth it to sublet a small furnished place from a friend, rather than moving in to a larger home, to save on expenses while my income is limited. I am just worried that the added stress of not having all my things, plus being in such a small space ( 670 sq. ft. 1br, with my husband, who will be job hunting) will make it tough for me to study and do well on the bar exam.
Is it worth it to make these sacrifices so that we don’t run up our credit card bills? Or is my ability to study for the bar at home more important? Should I bite the bullet and move in to a permanent, bigger place with my husband? I would have plenty of space and comfort for studying, but and struggle to make ends meet (unless hubby ends up finding a good job between now and then). I am leaning toward the subletting option, but I’m just not sure. I don’t want to compromise my performance on the bar exam! Suggestions? Insight?
lawyerette
Is the firm not paying for your moving expenses? That is a typical thing to do. You might also ask whether they can give you a no interest advance on your salary, it’ll mean your salary is lower later (hopefully to be repaid when you’re working full time) but this would help you have the best of both worlds (no added credit card debt).
Sydney Bristow
I have a friend who sublet an apartment during bar study. She seemed annoyed at first with not having all her stuff, but in the end I think it worked well for her.
If your husband will be around the apartment a lot, I might recommend one or both of you make it a point to look for a job or study outside of the apartment. Will you be taking Barbri? You can probably use the library at the school where you take class. That way you and your husband would not be tripping over each other while being stressed out.
Jay
Being comfortable when you’re studying for the bar is important. It was for me, anyway. But almost 700 square feet for the two of you sounds like plenty of room to me–when I was studying I think we lived in a 550 sq ft space, albeit with a nice balcony that I made a lot of use of! If you’re one to study at cafes or public libraries, that also gives you more options.
I’d still ask the firm to cover your moving expenses though–they’re asking you to work while studying for the bar, and that’s a pretty big imposition, in my opinion.
AIMS
At least in NYC, 700 sq. feet is actually considered quite “spacious” for a one bedroom!
Me & my bf lived in about 600 sq feet during bar study and were fine.
Honestly, I spent most of my time, especially the last month, holed up at the library. It was much less distracting, open late, and I basically woke up, went to Bar Bri, went to the library, ate dinner, went to bed.
I would be much more concerned about working part time through bar study than I would be about the 700 sq. ft. with hubby. If you can avoid it (logistically & financially), I would advise that more than anything else.
Anonymous
670 sq ft isn’t that small. You can do it. My first apartment out of school with my partner was a 1-br over 100 sq ft smaller and we did just fine for 2 years there. Plenty of space for a table that you can designate your study table. I designated half our dining room table (in our living room) as my study space and it was just fine. I did about half my studying in coffee shops and the like though – just for a change of scenery. I probably would have done that even if I’d been in a larger home. Know yourself and know if you need an absolutely silent office-type space to yourself for your studying. You probably don’t. :)
Ellen
I live in 620 sq feet with my husband, my 2 year old and our 50 lb dog. I have studied for and passed the general surgery board exam. You can share small space and study successfully for an important test, and I think you should not go into short term debt for more square feet.
You and your husband will have to be very specific about expectations and studying during this period. If he is job searching, he may be home a lot and you may need to be very specific about schedules, expectations and quiet rules. You should investigate a third space to study — public library, coffee house, etc.
I would recommend also designating a study space in your house — dining room table, desk in bed room, etc that is your study zone. But good communication with your spouse should be the only thing you need in order to negotiate what is not that small of a space.
EC
I would say this depends on you and your husband, not your stuff (it’s actually freeing to live with minimal stuff, and think about not having to pick up and organize while you’re studying!). Have the two of you lived in small spaces before, or are you used to suburban houses? Have you and husband traveled together and stayed in a hotel room for more than a week? If so, did you want to kill each other by the end?
I lived in DC for a year while hubby was back home. I had a pretty spacious studio apartment, but when my fiance (now husband) came to visit, that spacious apartment somehow shrunk to the size of a peanut. His boxers and socks were everywhere, he would take over all the furniture to do a work project, and he would complain nonstop about how small the apartment was. It was such a relief when he would go back home, even though I missed him a lot. If this is you or your husband, consider living further out in the burbs to reduce the bills but get the space you need to stay sane.
*Also, you don’t have to bring your stuff even if you move out to the burbs – put it in storage until after the bar, and then pay to move it.
RKS
How long do you plan on staying in the sublet? Are we talking 2-3 months only during the bar period and then moving right after the bar? Or longer? And how badly do you foresee running up credit cards if you move to a bigger place?
If it’s only for 2-3 months, I would bite the bullet and move to a bigger place now. That saves you so much time and hassle in avoiding 2 moves and lets you get comfortable in the place that will be home.
Bonnie
Subletting a furnished place may actually be less stressful because you won’t be rushed to find a permanent place to live. Also, you won’t have the added hassle and distraction of unpacking and decorating. You won’t have all your things but then you won’t really need that much while studying for the bar. I agree with Sydney Bristow that you should try to get out of the apartment to study.
Loren
Thanks for all the advice…truly helpful! I love the sense of community here at Corporette!!
Flying Squirrel
Taking the fun “anon” name advice, regular poster otherwise.
Threadjack: Looking for some advice and ideas on how to approach a job decision.
I was just offered a great public sector job, across the country from where I am. My husband has a great private sector job that he absolutely loves. He’d likely have to switch industries if we move (on the plus side he was planning to do that eventually, just not for a few more years). He also earns a lot more than I currently do (or would at the new job), but I’ve been having an impossible time finding something I enjoy in the same city as his current job. He’s also senior enough now that he can probably move between industries more easily (he has technical management experience).
We know we have a big decision looming, and it will ultimately be a very personal decision. But if any of you ladies have been in a similar place, any advice on factors to consider or how to approach the decision-making? Especially things that might not be obvious at the outset? We have a few days to chat things over, but I want to make sure we do this in a constructive and healthy way.
TIA for your help!
RKS
Any chance of him telecommuting for some time in the current job?
Flying Squirrel
Unfortunately pretty unlikely because of the nature of his work. Actually, we’d almost certainly have me move first with him following after some of his current projects finish and he finds something new.
Bullwinkle
My husband and I spent 3 years in different cities (5 hours commute, so not as bad as yours would be) because of our job situations. I had a job that I felt like I had to take (I was a new grad), and he had a job he loved. We had 2 children, who lived with me.
Even though we had done the long distance relationship thing before (3 years in different countries), having a family changed the dynamic. Let’s just say that being apart really took a toll on my marriage and I’m not sure the marriage will survive it (we are in counseling, but it feels like we’re just treading water). We’re now in the same city (and I’m not working), and if I had to do it again, I would have just taken the hit to my career and stayed in the same city as my husband.
Why should I have been the one to give up my career? For 2 reasons. First my husband LOVES his job. I’m far more practical, my job’s ok, but it’s mostly a means to an end. Second, my husband is horribly undomestic. Let’s put it this way, if he were left in charge of our home life, our children would have been raised on bagels, bananas and apples (not the worst in the world, I know, but not exactly nutritionally balanced), still wearing clothes they outgrew 2 years ago, and we would have run out of space to accommodate the trash that never gets taken out. And I knew this about him when we got married.
So if I were to make the decision now, it would have to be based on (1) the love-my-job factor (because I think the person who loves their job less probably has more flexibility in exploring alternatives), (2) affect on family life and (3) money (we are basically equal earners).
I definitely made the wrong decision 4 years ago, mostly because my type-A personality wouldn’t let go of the idea that I! COULDN’T! WASTE! MY! EDUCATION! Instead, I seem to have trashed something that is far more valuable.
JessC
That is such a heart-wrenching story. Being that most (all?) of the women are type-A personalities, I’m sure there are many who can relate.
Best of luck to you and hubby as you try to make things work for your future.
CW
An incomplete list, but some thoughts:
1. Run some budget scenarios where your husband’s salary is much lower, or non-existant, if he moves to the city with you and without a plan lined up. How does this affect your present and future plans?
2. Maybe spend some time talking about the importance/role of money in your relationship. If you take a much lower paying job, how does that affect him in terms of being the “breadwinner”? Will he be comfortable in that role? Will you be comfortable?
3. How does the job change affect your desire/plans to have children. Can you afford to do it (if you want to) in the timeline you’ve been thinking of.
Ashley
Warning: long comment!
For the type-A personality and the technical personality, my husband and I created a weighted average for “life satisfaction”. We each put down the 5 biggest things that made our life fulfilling (ie: marital harmony, career, hobbies, etc.) and gave them a percentage of how they impacted our happiness. Then, we said how satisfied we were currently, and how satisfied we thought we’d be with the move. So, my list looked something like this:
Marital harmony 40% 90%
Career 30% 0%
Hobbies 15% 100%
Friends/Family 15% 85%
At the time, my career was in the toilet due to a move for his job, so I was 0% happy with something that was a HUGE part of my personal satisfaction. This method really helped us take some of the “emotion” out of the decision. It also helped with the resentment factor, since it was just stating plainly how our lives were progressing at that moment. The other key was that my personal dissatisfaction was taking a toll on our marriage, so this method helped us see that making a move would definitely be in the best interest of our marriage as well.
We ended up spending 6 months long-distance for me to try out the new job, but now that we’re back together, it was 100% worth it. We have also learned that 6 months was too long, and that if we had to do it again in the future, we’d cap it at 3 months. It’s just not worth it to live life out of sync, so if you would have to do long distance for any amount of time, I would suggest very distinct milestones and timelines.
Ru
Thank you for sharing your experience – I really love the logical approach you took to explain what each aspect of your life means to you.
B
Third vote for Chicago!