ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 581 Comments

Weekend Open Thread

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Via Spiga 'Persia' SlingbackSomething on your mind? Chat about it here. Nordstrom's shoe clearance sale has a ton of great deals — including this “Persia” slingback by Via Spiga. I like the Mary Jane style, the slightly pointy toe, and the fact that it comes in 3 widths. The beige color is almost entirely sold out (size 10, it may be your lucky day), but the black and gray patent are still available. The shoe was $198, but is now marked to $117.90. Lovely! Via Spiga ‘Persia' Slingback (L-2)

Sales of note for 5/16/25:

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

581 Comments

  1. From a renumeration standpoint, where do ex- junor biglaw lawyers go that remotely resembles their salary in biglaw?

    1. I went to a boutique. I took a 15% cut and had a salary freeze for the last 3 years. It’s wonderful.

    2. in-house, but you have to look at total comp v. straight salary (e.g. options/benefits, etc.) — once you have the whole picture, it’s often not too different from a firm. a cut, yes, but not as bad as you might think.

  2. I started a new job on a new continent recently. This week contained two very interesting lessons in cultural difference:

    1) A coworker showed up to work — on a day she was interviewing a prospective hire no less — in roughly Britany Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time” schoolgirl outfit. No one seemed to remark upon this but me.

    2) The special in the cafeteria on that same day was RABBIT. I was trying to imagine my US work cafeteria serving a side of rabbit (it still had the bones, so it definitely looked like a rabbit) and I just couldn’t.

    Cultural differences, indeed. This is going to be really fun (and I’m not being sarcastic!).

    1. Can I join in with my own cultural differences rant?

      Apparently my boss and I have to have another “talk” on Monday because I’m not playing my cards right with my superiors on another continent. My default of “would I be offended by this? Yes? Then I shouldn’t do it” turns into them saying, “Thanks, Sarah” and turning around and asking my boss WTF is up with me. In the meantime, no one has come to me to say, “Sarah, please don’t do this,” which leaves me embarrassed that my boss has to run interference because I honestly have no idea what I did wrong. When I ask what I did wrong, I get told that they’re not going to tell me, and that I just have to play the game. I’ll play, but I’d like to know what the fouls are before I go and commit them all over the place. It’s also a bit rough to be conditioned to not take anything personally and work with people who take everything personally.

      I think I’m starting to get a complex. :-)

      1. I don’t see how you can be expected to do your job (read: not offend superiors in different culture) when people are refusing to give you the tools your job requires (read: tell you what offends them). Not sure how you insist on being given those tools without sounding whiny, defensive or demanding.

        One option: tell your boss that you are committed to getting this right and you need his/her help to do so. You have thought of two possible ways you can learn the other culture (“other culture’s etiquette for dummies” book and other culture’s etiquette classes). Will the company help you with those? Or does your boss think there is another better solution, perhaps something like your superiors abroad being specific and directly communicating to you what works and what doesn’t (duh!)?

        This sounds insanely frustrating and inefficient all around. Good luck tomorrow and let us know how it goes.

      2. What continent? Readers of this blog are a well-traveled bunch; I’m sure we could offer some tips. Maybe repost on Monday.

    2. I hear rabbit is quite good. I actually served it at the c#cktail hour at my destination wedding but didn’t get to try it, because I was posing for pictures.

      1. Rabbit is delicious. It’s very trendy at gourmet places right now. I’ve had it frequently in Italian cooking but most recently at Colichiccio & Sons in NYC. :-).

    4. Are you in France? I’ve been seeing it all over the place at french bistros (my favorite was with papparadelle!) and its really good. Then again, I’m down for venison and sweetbreads and basically any sort of tasty meat.

          1. I have dreams about a good cinghiale ragu with parpadelle or tagliatelle (oh god…my spelling has gone to h*ll since I haven’t lived there in a while).

  3. I got married pretty young (early twenties) to my high school sweetheart. We’ve been married three years, and I am now maybe sort of regretting it. We’ve fallen into the roommate relationship and we’ve become really different people. I also feel like I resent some of the decisions I made because of the relationship that I feel are holding me back/worry that he will hold me back in the future. I never had the chance to live on my own/become more independent. None of my friends are even married yet and I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to about it. Has anyone been through this before? I don’t know where I want to go with this, and I don’t even know where to start.

    1. I was in a similar situation, and I ended up eventually getting divorced. The people that I found most helpful to talk to were those who had married young themselves, whether they were still together or not. Not many of my peers fit in this category, but talking to people in their 30’s who had been in similar situations really helped. I saw a lot more parallels between my relationship and those of people who were divorced, than between my relationship and those of people who were still with their spouses. My ex is a pretty great guy in the abstract, but he and I were ill-suited to each other in a lot of ways and just didn’t respect certain things about each other’s personalities and lifestyle choices. Also, we were probably bit a bit too immature to marry as young as we did, even if we had been a better match.

      Just one person’s experience… I do have friends who married their high school sweethearts and are still with them, including one couple who separated for a few months but eventually got back together, so divorce is certainly not the only possible outcome here… Just happens to be my experience.

    2. Counseling, stat. Both for you individually and jointly with your husband. I am also divorced and my only regret is that I didn’t bring up the option of divorce earlier. We were in counseling but I don’t think my XH took it seriously because we had the ‘divorce is not an option’ mindset.

      Please also read “Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay.” The author has no agenda; rather, she asks about 30 questions, tells you why each question is important, and explains why people with a particular answer were happy with the choice they made to stay married or divorce.

      1. I will second “too good to leave, too bad to stay” So good.

        If you have a kindle, email me at hotmail and I’ll lend the e-book to you.

    3. I married my high school sweetheart and have had those feelings. I am now in my late 30’s and after some ups and downs, we are doing well. I say to stick it out.

      1. I disagree. Don’t listen to someone suggesting stick it out or get divorced. Listen to the advice that leads you to make a decision for yourself rather than advice that tries to make the decision for you, if that makes any sense.

    4. Thank you all so much for the advice. I will start by checking out the book, but counseling is definitely in my near future.

    5. I’m really sorry to hear this (I think it takes a lot of courage to write what you wrote and acknowledge the feelings you are having). Definitely talk to someone (that book sounds good if you aren’t ready to speak to someone yet). I was in a similar situation to you, but did get divorced. We didn’t grow together (I grew up from a girl to a woman and he stayed a boy) and my ex was emotionally and verbally abusive. I tried for 2.5 years, but just couldn’t do it anymore. In my situation, I was resentful because he was unsupportive of me going back to school, told me I needed to make more money (I was the breadwinner), told me I was stupid, and a whole host of other things that I can’t believe my old self tolerated.

      A few thoughts: you’re a good person, you deserve to be happy, people change/grow/mature (or not), and I think you need to examine the feelings you are having. Is the resentment something you can work through or not? Sometimes people can work through it and sometimes they can’t, no matter how hard they try. It’s not easy and I hope you find peace in the decisions you make. Talking to someone will help you make sense of the feelings you’re having and help you find some direction. Please let us know if you need help finding someone to talk to or need some support to make that first appointment, ok?

      1. This. I have a friend now in your situation who got pregnant even after the beginning of the “was this a mistake” thinking. Now she has two kids and still thinks this may have been a mistake.

    7. I was 21 when I got married (even saying that now sounds really insane, but at the time I didn’t think it was so crazy). I don’t regret getting married so young at all. I think the key is that DH and I have grown together. I was still in college when we got married, and I now have my masters. We were committed to making it work. It is now nearly 12 years later and we have a lovely little boy, age 5. I have never once felt resentful and I’ve never felt that DH has held me back. Those, to me, are huge red flags. Yeah, I didn’t travel Europe (or wherever) in my 20s, but we went to Germany for our 10th anniversary, and we plan to travel more as our son gets older. The key is we’re doing it together. Getting counseling is a great idea. Either you can get through this and grow together and become a stronger couple or you’ll continue to feel resentful.

  4. Saw posts on Friday about sinus problems — please research before using Neti Pot or similar. Louisiana Dept of Health has issued a warning due to people dying from meningitis. This was recently reported in the media.

    1. The individuals in Louisiana were infected with primary amoebic meningoencephalitis which was caused by a parasite (Naegleria fowleri, for those who are interested). They contracted the parasite because they used plain tap water in the Neti pot. As long as you follow the directions and use distilled water, you should be fine.

  5. Former big law associate here, I’m interviewing for a career services position for my law school. Position is focused on helping students to get biglaw jobs. Any suggestions on the types of questions I might be asked? If any students read this, what would you want from a biglaw-focused career services person?

    1. I think more info is needed about the school. Is this a Harvard/Yale where these jobs are pretty much available or is this a school where only the top 10% can realistically expect a big law job out of the gate?

      I think our best career services person was a guy who networked with lawyers and knew everyone who might be hiring. He was a member of all the local bar associations and was always at events where other lawyers were (outside of the law school).

      1. The latter, only top 10%. The school wants this position to help students outside the top 10%. Any suggestions on how to prepare?

        1. If you are supposed to be helping the bottom 90% find big law jobs, then you are being set-up for failure. Look, it’s just not going to happen. At this point, the bottom 90% needs clerkships to lateral into big law. Only a handful will get these. The career services office should be doing a better job helping these students realize that big law is not an option and point them to realistic options in the legal market. So, to prepare, IMO, you ought to talk with the hiring partners in big law and ask them where they are hiring laterals from. In my market, big law is hiring laterals from NYC, DC, and Chicago, because they can. They have no idea what it will look like 5 years from now, but currently, they are not hiring laterals from boutiques in my local market.

          Also, going into this interview, are you really sure that these students want big law? I only ask because it’s really the last place that I want to be when I graduate, and I don’t mean to be rude, but I get a little tired of big law refugees coming into career services to try to steer me back on the path that they knew sucked, but they don’t know what else to try and sell me because it’s all they know. What do you bring to the table besides big law? :)

    2. I’ve never interviewed for this type of job, but I assume the economy would be a big focus. If I (a fairly recent grad) were doing the interview, I would want to know how the career services person could really help me get a job, since that’s their ultimate purpose. The career services folks at my school were awful. It didn’t help that I took the bar/was looking for jobs in a state across the country from my law school. But their advice and help was basically limited to “apply to everything and network”, which, yes, but duh. They offered other stuff that was mildly helpful, like mock interviews, but at the end of the day they basically said to me “we have no connections in your state and no advice except to network, so good luck.” So to the extent you can provide more specific advice or point to actual connections you have that may be helpful, I think that would be good. But of course students/recent grads aren’t the ones conducting this interview and the career services higher-ups may have different questions.

      Also (again this is from a student perspective), I would try to emphasize that you would be extremely supportive of the students and remind them that it’s not their fault that the career situation is so tough right now. A lot of people with excellent grades and great experience are unemployed now, and I think its important to remind people of that and encourage them not to get depressed. (Some of) the people in my career services office, kind of had the attitude of “well, you have great grades, so there must be something wrong with you that you can’t find a job or you haven’t been looking hard enough”, even though probably 1/3 of my class max had a legal job at graduation. Although I was solidly in the top 1/3 of my class, there’s obviously an element of luck, some people with worse grades have great experience or connections to a family firm, etc. And if that’s how they treated me with good grades, I can’t even begin to imagine how they treated the people with bad grades…they probably just told them they were totally scr*wed. This was towards the beginning of the recession, so there may be greater empathy in career services offices now. But I was honestly kind of appalled at how unsympathetic they were.

      1. Thanks! This was a very useful response. I’ll keep that in mind when I interview.

    3. I think the key would be to find someone who is going to stick around long enough to make some real connections in the legal community. At my CSO, it seems like people stick around just long enough to use school resources to find themselves a better job. They’ll build connections in their city/cities of interest- say NYC- but won’t even have the most basic grasp of geography in other states. You’ll ask for help finding a job in city X and they’ll give you options in city Y that is more than 4 hours away.

      I agree with others that biglaw is probably not a realistic possibility for most students, but a lot of schools seem like they have one biglaw position and a few public interest positions. There’s not really anything in between for smaller firms. I’d hope that the biglaw person would also have some ability to help students look into those smaller firms. A lot of them will work on a different hiring schedule, so it might involve working more with people who have recently graduated and passed the bar.

  6. I’m looking for comfortable 3-inch leather pumps for around $100. Something higher-quality than Nine West but cheaper than Cole Haans (I know, that’s asking a lot for $100). Any suggestions? Thanks!

    1. Mac studio Marias pumps – I think they’re at dsw and 6pm.com right now but have been in nordstroms, Macy’s, and occasionally tjmaxx/marshalls

    2. I have had several pairs of Cole Haan and I like the You Bet, a new Nine West model available at Zappos, much more. Very comfortable and rubber nonskid on the bottom, so they are ready to wear right away. All of my Cole Haans took forever to break in. Who has time?

      1. Corso comos are a tad higher than 3 inches and are $129 but are amazingggg. I can’t sing their praises enough.

    5. Corso Comos or Franco Sarto, plus check out your local Nordstrom Rack for discount Cole Haans.

  7. Somewhat similar to the career services q posted above, I’ve been assigned as a mentor to a 1L from my (not top-14) law school. This 1L wants to practice biglaw but doesn’t really know how to begin the job search. I’m of the public interest vein, so my advice on biglaw is very limited. Any thoughts from the hive?

    1. In my experience one of the few ways to break into big law at the outset is to go through the OCI process at the beginning of 2L year to try and get a summer clerkship at one of those firms. The most important things for getting an interview through OCI are grades, grades, grades, law review or moot court, and then practical experience. Getting volunteer legal experience during 1L year can be a great way to get experience, because a lot of those positions will take students with little legal experience. Also, some big law offices in my area offer pro bono clerk positions that they advertise for separately, these are less focused on being in the top of your class, so can be a great way in the door.

      Finally, if your feel your student is unrealistically setting their sites on big law I would find a way to tactfully tell them they should expand their goals. I see too many of my former classmates who thought they would be offered nothing but 100K + jobs have a shock after realizing that just wasn’t going to happen.

      Good luck!

  8. Is it weird that I am interested in a career in finance even though I am not particularly good with numbers? For some reason I really enjoy reading about it despite my hate of numbers..

    1. No, you could work in marketing on the buyside if you like to talk finance but not crunch or model.

    2. What do you mean you “aren’t good with numbers”? I promptly forgot the multiplication table as soon as I learned it, and I can’t do math in my head to save my life (thank goodness for smart phone tip calculators!!), but I’m awesome in geometry and trigonometry and as a scientist, I frequently solve what are basically word problems as a day to day part of my job. It has more to do with your learning style and how you process information than any lack of mathematical ability.

      What is it about finance that appeals to you? It’s not all about crunching numbers. I care more about regulatory and market knowledge my financial adviser has rather than his ability to do long division in his head.

  9. Hey all- In addition to migraines, all of my T-shirts are getting these tiny holes at the bottom near the middle. Every. Single. One. We don’t have moths and the holes are only in this spot- none anywhere else. The same thing is happening to my husband’s T-shirts but not to my teenage son or my three year olds t-shirts. Any clues? Its aggravating because I’m sick of buying new T-shirts. Sometimes the holes appear after one wearing…

    1. Is that where your jeans or other button touches the t-shirt? Or the jean edge? That was a problem with a friend’s shirts. Try to see what it rubs against next time you wear it and focus on that area, rather than fixing your t-shirts.

    2. Also check areas of the house you and your husband frequent but the kids don’t. Think desk, stove, driver’s seat of car, etc. The t-shirts are probably snagging on something.

    3. I got an annoying mark on the bottom of my t-shirts because they were rubbing on my laptop computer at home. Took me months to figure it out.

      Other places to look: edge of countertops in bathroom and kitchen, inside jacket against a zipper. Good luck!

    4. Maybe your teenager is messing with you? Ha!

      Or else, maybe its something in the driver’s seat of your car?

  10. Random vent-As a woman, I will not open the door to a stranger when he knocks even if he does so repeatedly. I can understand wanting to sell things door to door, but that is really inappropriate these days. Leave a flyer in the mailbox or something, but do not knock on my door and expect me to open it for you! I understand that to a man, the idea of it being dangerous to open the door for someone is foreign. I hate how women are forced to think twice before doing such little things while men just go about their day ignoring things that we can’t. I’m sure some of you can relate.

  11. “Looking Good”… at the airport?
    How do some women do it? Does anyone have suggestions for what to wear when traveling (not so much what to pack for business trip). For an upcoming trip will be flying 6+ hours, two flights with layovers each way. Maybe looking “good” is a stretch, so I will settle for “put together.” Want to be comfortable for sitting for long periods and need shoes that not a hassle for security or for walking through airports–without looking frumpy! Seems like every time I fly I wish I was more comfortable, less dowdy, or did not bring such a cumbersome bag or a coat I do not need. My people-watching at airports involves mostly admiring woman who look so effortlessly put together. Thank you!

    1. Not claiming to have it perfected, but I fly a lot of long haul/international flights, and I try these:

      – slip in shoes (I wear Cole Haan/Nike Air slipons)
      – with socks (because public floors are dirty)
      – monochromatic cotton layers (black pants, tshirt(s), sweaters) (jeans are too constricting for me) (I prefer pants over skirts for traveling except in one place: the bathroom, because I have to make sure the cuffs don’t hit the dirty floor when I pull them down)
      – pashmina
      – I carry a black Coach backpack
      – others may disagree, but I wear only moisturizer with sunscreen and lip balm with SPF, no makeup on plane
      – minimal jewelry (but I put whatever I’m bringing in my carryon so it can’t be stolen from my checked bag)
      – if the flight is over six hours, I bring supplies to wash up in the airport bathroom (not on plane because it is too dirty) on arrival (toothbrush/paste, facial cleanser and moisturizer with sunscreen)

      Have fun traveling!

      1. I basically do the same, but with Danskos and a rolling carry-on. No makeup on plane, and I bring face wipes and undereye moisturizer on flights over 6 hours, as well as nasal saline solution (planes have very dry air). Make sure you wear shoes you can run in if you have to, put anything of value in your carryon, put some clean underwear and socks in your carryon just in case your suitcase is misplaced, and if you’re traveling internationally, bring your medications in the original prescription-labelled containers.

        I think everything the poster above mentioned is pretty standard operating procedure for frequent international travelers.

    3. I fly fairly regularly (at least once a month, but usually more) and think I’ve got it figured out.

      Normal flying uniform:
      -skinny jeans, flats, and a longer/looser fit sweater or tunic or a maxi dress and sweater with flat sandals
      -No/minimal jewelry – it makes security go much faster and you don’t risk leaving anything behind! I will put my watch in my carry-on tote and put it on after I get through the line.

      I normally either wear my hair in loose waves so if they get messy, it kind of “works” with the look or pull my hair into a low ponytail at the nape of my neck. I also keep a mini hairbrush in my purse and will stop at the restroom before leaving the airport to brush my hair and “freshen up”, if necessary.

      I’m normally good temparature-wise on planes, so I don’t normally bring a big coat or jacket with me, but I will carry a pashmina or wrap when I want to sleep on a flight. I bring one large leather tote with me and pack my handbag in my carry-on, so I only deal with one “purse” that fits easily on my shoulder and my carry-on suitcase.

      My boyfriend laughs at how much thought and effort I put into my “flying routine”, but feeling “put together” makes flying a lot more bearable for me.

    4. Definitely loose trousers (pants); and a pashmina is invaluable, whether as a warm layer, to sling round your shoulders and look casually glam, or folded up as an emergency cushion.

      I second the no make-up, though I generally wear a little waterproof hypoallergenic mascara otherwise my eyes disappear… But: I take a great lipstick in my bag so when I arrive feeling frazzled and frumpy I can head straight to the airport bathroom, wash my face and neck, re-moisturise, clean my teeth, brush my hair, layer on that red lipstick, and sashay out feeling if not fabulous then at least a little more put together and ready to face the world.

      A clean pair of socks can make a surprising difference to how you feel as well.

    5. After many either uncomfortable hours, or feeling like I looked stupid, I have designated airplane outfits and supplies.
      Comfortable non-jean pants (black usually) that are stretchy. Short flights- dark trouser jeans. Long haul (10+ hrs)- yoga-like pants considered. Sometimes I change those in broom.
      Cotton underlayer- such as double-layer t-shirt from Target. Not the most casual ones, but simple and appropriate. Nothing synthetic- constricts body temperature.
      Thick cardigan on top, the kind with open front shawl collar. These look nice.
      Pashmina in bag for use as back support, blanket, pillow, warmth, scarf.
      Minimal jewelry- watch and silver necklace. They don’t have to come off.
      Bags: Carry on suitcase with black leather work tote/briefcase riding on top. Everything must fit in and zip up.
      Hair: dried straight, with ponytail holder to secure at nape when needed.
      Makeup: very minimal.
      Shoes: slip-ons in dark color. Often, Puma black sneakers. Too much walking to be at all uncomfortable.
      Theme colors: almost always black not neutrals. Matches bags/oufits most easily.
      There are probably a few other things I do can’t recall off hand. Saline spray, lotion, chapstick also key.
      Good luck! Having a routine really helps. I have a checklist I use.

    6. Why worry about dowdy? I bet the women you’re admiring have simple (“effortless”) hair, slip-on flats, some kind of scarf, shawl, pashmina, and not-too-tight pants. Only things I’d add to what everyone above has said are to remember chewing gum and consider a split skirt that combines the comfort of a skirt with the coverage of pants, even if you put your feet up or fall asleep.

  12. Hi ladies.

    I’ve done it again. I’ve sabotaged what could have been a fun guy to date. Any help on how to fix it?

    I met this guy a few weeks ago, and I thought he was into me. But lately I just felt like i was a booty call to him- late nights only, bailed on me last night and I only found out when I inquired when we were going to meet up…so I tried to ask him if he was just interested in fooling around, and that somehow turned into a “I didn’t know we were putting labels on things so quickly” conversation. It’s not that i want a LABEL, it’s that I want to know if the guy is in a place where he wants to date someone. I gone down the path of hanging out with someone for months only to find out they had no interest in ever being in a relationship with me. It leaves me feeling very hurt and used. I can’t trust guys to just go with the flow for months and hope for the best. I need to know early on if there’s potential for something.

    I’m probably explaining this horribly, but I’m quite distraught. I need certainty. I need to know he’s not trolling for other girls or only likes me because he thinks my boobs are hot. I need to know that he actually cares about ‘me’.

    Any help?

    Signed,

    Lonely and sad

    1. Do you play poker? You know how really good players decide whether to fold pretty early in the hand, before they have to add too much money to the pot? Maybe you can have a self-imposed policy of deciding pretty early on whether it makes sense to continue adding money (your feelings) to the pot on this hand (guy).

    2. I don’t know if it’s “help” per say — but if you are not comfortable with booty-call type relationships (which if you’re only seeing a guy late at night for s*x — that’s probably what it is) then you need to set limits earlier. Not taking s*x off the table per se. But making clear that you want to be called more than a day in advance if he wants to get together. And you want to talk. And you want to go out places.

      But seriously, I really don’t want to sound unkind on here, but if a guy is only seeing you after 10 PM, he’s just not that into you. And you deserve someone who wants to see you during daylight hours. Seriously! Scr*w trying to fix it and focus on trying to fix what you expect from a man, because right now your expectations are too low. :-P I think dinner or lunch or a walk in the park in the sunlight isn’t too much to ask. Unless he’s a vampire and he would glitter, but then we have a whole host of other issues.

    3. I see two problems here-

      1. You’re starting out a relationship by meeting late at night with little to no notice. That’s a booty call, plain and simple. You can’t expect that to suddenly change midstream. You have to start out a relationship on the right foot. Go on pre-planned dates during the daytime or early evening hours so there is no question that you are actually dating.

      2. If you have a traditional dating relationship with normal dates, you may not know in 2-3 weeks whether the relationship is going to have long-term potential. On the other hand, you should get some idea whether you have no potential whatsoever and can move on without any hurt feelings.

    4. Ditch him. If you are meeting him late at night only or mostly, it is booty-call, and his reaction to your question confirms. You can do much better. As another poster advised, start out with real dates, not late nights, and go from there. You are not compelled to just do late nights. My sister went through something like this many years ago and afer a few months finally ditched him, only to find someone much better, now her husband and father of her two children.

      1. Thanks everyone. I needed to hear that.

        I had a lot of friends tell me it scares guys off if I ask whether they see some sort of potential or if it’s just a booty-call situation. I think if a guy gets scared by that question- the answer is they just want booty. A good guy would be okay with saying “I would really like to see where this can go”.

        Sometimes I wonder what I would do without the generosity of corporette readers. The fact you guys make more of an effort to help me out than this dude and we haven’t even met says a lot!!! THANK YOU!

        1. Hey Springtime,

          Your friends are partly right. You ARE going to freak guys out if you are sleeping with them when they call you at 10 at night for a few weeks and then you ask them “where this is going” because that’s not going anywhere. And they think you already know that! (I’m not saying that no relationship has NEVER converted from a random hook-up to a real bf-gf relationship, I’m just saying its not the norm).

          If you want something more that that, you have to make that clear up front. So when they text you at 10 to say what’s going on, don’t answer! Or if they ask if you want to get together tonight, say you can’t. But you could do dinner another night. And if they say no thanks, well, move on to the next guy. Or get some…but know what it is from the beginning and manage your emotional expectations from the beginning. :-P

          1. For the record- I didn’t sleep with him. I told him on both occassions that he slept over that there would be no sex. Don’t know if that changes your interpretation at all.

            And I did saya few nights ago “I would like to see you but it’s too late. I would rather wait until we have more time to hang out.” Then he cancelled the ‘date’ we planned when we had more time to hang out. So I THOUGHT I was setting limits.

            In other more positive news, I have a third date with someone this week who has been very nice to me so far :).

        2. I completely disagree with your assessment. Why would you even ask the question at all if you are going on real dates with a guy? If you’re not inviting him home with you right away, he’ll either bail on his own if he wants booty or he’ll stick around to see where the relationship leads. The reality is that if you’ve just had 3-4 dates with a person you didn’t know before, it may not be enough time to tell whether there is longterm potential.

  13. Might be too late in the weekend to get any replies, but I’ll give it a try…

    I sprained my right ankle once in 1997 and again about a year later (yay, clumsiness!). Now, all these years later, I have started to experience some discomfort in the ankle when I move my foot in different ways. Has anyone else had something similar and, if so, what did you do about it?

    1. I’d post again on Monday, but if I had to guess it may very well have nothing to do with the spraining — people develop tendinitis or early arthritis in joints as they age from lots of causes. But it may also have been irritated by the sprains.

      I’d go see your PCP and get a referral to a physical therapist!

      1. Sorry have to disagree. Unless your health insurance requires a referral do not go to your PCP for orthopedics. It’s something they know very little about and frequently misdiagnose/treat. Go find a really good sports medicine orthopedist.

    2. I agree that you should go to an orthopedist. He/she will most likely refer you to physical therapy after evaluating your ankle.

    3. I have the worst. ankles. of. all. time., and could not even tell you how many times I’ve sprained my left ankle (six? eight?). But occasionally, when I change the direction of my foot suddenly, or stand up after sitting down for a while, or start running, they (but mostly the left one, because that’s the one that I’ve done the most damage to) suddenly stab at me. I have done nothing about it, because, while it hurts like a motherf***** for a second or two, it always goes away. So no actual suggestions as to how to make it stop forever, but I think it’s pretty normal.

      1. I’m gonna ditto a., because I’ve sprained both of my ankles and one elbow and once in a while, the pain flares up and goes away. I just ignore it.

        1. It’s apparently quite normal. Ligaments and tendons, when sprained significantly, are never exactly the same ever again. When I broke my leg, they told me it was better I broke a bone than tore a ligament or tendon because the bone heels fine, the soft tissue would cause me problems later in life.

          Also matches my experience in that I tweaked my knee once when I was 16 and I can feel it when I first start running (after warming up it’s fine). Yet, the ankle I snapped literally in half is totally fine.

          1. I agree. I sprained my ankle so badly it later (several years later) needed reconstruction because the ligaments no longer had stability. Before and after the reconstruction I had pain and stiffness sometimes.

            When you tear ligaments and tendons you do nerve damage and sometimes those damaged nerves play up. Also if the joint is slightly unstable and/or loose (i.e. the ligaments/tendons tore and healed along the tear instead of the tear closing up) the ankle mechanics are never quite the same. This means you can be putting strain on the muscles, ligaments, tendons and joints that you never used to and you can get pain from that too.

            An orthapedic specialist is definitely the way to go if you can swing it.

Comments are closed.