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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. It’s a rainy day here in NYC today, so I thought I’d post some rain boots that aren’t Hunters, for once — these Tretorn Emelie boots look nice and come in wide-calf sizes. A bit boring, yes, but then again, we are adults. (If you want something more fun, try these fluorescent green boots from Coach.) The Tretorns are on sale — they were $75 but are now marked to $55. Tretorn Emelie Rain Boots (L-3)Workwear sales of note for 4.18.24
Our favorites are in bold!
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Boden – 25% off through 4/18; 15% off 4/19-20; 10% off 4/21
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- Everlane – Spring Sale: up to 60% off 600+ styles
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off $125+; extra 25% of $150+; up to 60% off everything; extra 50% off clearance
- Nordstrom – Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (on eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- White House Black Market – 25% off entire purchase; $50 off $200
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Penny London: dermatologist
I’m looking for advice on how to find a dermatologist who will talk to me about my skin care routine (face and body). One day my skin is smooth and soft and the next day I will have breakouts and then I will have painful dry patches. It’s never consistent. I have been to several dermatologists and after they do the all over skin check they don’t listen to my questions about getting a good skin care routine. I can’t seem to find anything that consistently works for me and really think I need certified help on this (e.g. Not going to Sephora or a cosmetics counter). I hate buying things from spas after getting a facial because I feel like they are just pushing products on me that aren’t necessarily good for me, just happen to be what they sell. Any advice on how to find a dermatologist that will just answer my questions? Or how to get my current derm to listen?
If anyone has specific suggestions for doctors in the DC area that would be great.
Thank you!
AIMS
I’m not in DC but I would ask for referrals from friends/work (this is how I found mine) and/or go to zocdoc dot com (this is how I found my allergist & she is fantastic). Zocdoc is basically yelp for doctors.
SH
Reposting from a late posting earlier this week to get more feedback (Thanks to New Atty and Silver for yours – my ideal plan is to put it in Prezi, but it’s starting in ppt in case I run out of time, I still have a presentation.)
Suggestions Needed: I’m making a presentation for a professional society in a couple weeks, and I’m having trouble spicing up the presentation. It’s going to run about three hours, and it’s on some super-technical, foreign, regulations – in other words, not the most exciting material to begin with. Right now, it’s me running a three-hour lecture (blah). Instead of me talking to them for three hours on boring stuff, I wanted to spice it up with some quick group exercises or discussions, but I’m sort of at a loss of what to do. In the CLE/presentations you’ve been in, have there been any good exercises/games that you’ve played that have kept things interesting? All suggestions welcome! TIA!
So far, I’ve found a short 5-minute movie I could play and a couple comparison-type exercises that I’ve put in. But I still think I’m relying too much on people having tons of questions (which they will, but I don’t want to count on it).
Jenna
3 hours is really long. Can you include 1 or 2 10 mins break? How about splitting them into groups and giving each a different “case study” that they can discuss, identify issues related to the topic at hand and report out to the group?
Wildkitten
Ten minute breaks each hour give folks a chance to go to the bathroom, get a snack, and stay awake. I highly recommend them.
Senior Attorney
I’d go further. If you talk for three hours without a break, they will (a) hate you, and (b) not retain anything you said after about the first 90 minutes.
Senior Attorney
I went to a ridiculously helpful workshop on giving presentations many years ago. I still use some of the “tricks to involve the audience” they taught:
1. If it’s a small group, ask a question and go around the table or around the room and have everybody give his or her answer.
2. Just pick somebody in the audience at random and ask them a question. Obviously you want it to be somebody who has been paying attention because the goal is to engage, not embarass. But if you do this a few times it will tend to put the rest of the audience on its toes.
3. Ask a question with two possible answers and have the audience vote. Ask “Would anybody who voted for option ‘A’ like to tell us why they voted that way?” and “Okay, would anybody who voted for option ‘B’ like to respond?”
4. Tell a war story and have the audience members raise their hands if something similar has happened to them. (BTW, it’s always a good idea to say “put your hands down” when it’s time for them to do so.)
5. During the lecture part of the program, pick individual people in the audience and talk directly to one person for a short while before shifting your focus and talking directly to one person in a different part of the room. If you don’t do it for too long per person, it is a great tool to engage the audience and also to gauge how you’re coming across.
6. I’m sure you know this, but there is not. one. single. thing. you can say after your allotted time has expired that will not make the audience hate you. Keeping your time commitment (that includes breaks at the appropriate time) is Job One.
Good luck!
OP
Good to hear that a move without bar admission is possible.
Jenna
Can anyone comment on negotiating therapy rates? I have been seeing a new provider and I like them. They provide good feedback, give me homework, etc. But their fee is 160 per session and it adds up quick (all out of pocket). I was hoping to pay 125 – which is what I have paid with a different provider here… is that too little? For reference I am in large east coast city where it seems no one takes insurance for mental health anymore
Wildkitten
Can you pay less if you pre-pay for a set of sessions? Or if you go at a particular time that is harder for them to fill? If you tell them you really appreciate their service but are having trouble affording it the worst they’ll tell you is the status quo.
Anon
FWIW, when my mom was practicing, she had a sliding scale. So if you can demonstrate financial hardship in any way, you might be able to negotiate. Totally depends on the practioner, though.
Senior Attorney
I can’t imagine it would hurt to ask. I like Wildkitten’s ideas, although I’d save them for fallback positions if the provider rejected your initial request for a reduction.
Good luck!
TJ
How long after returning from mat leave do you think someone should wait before deciding the job just isn’t working? I’m a senior associate in big law and have been told I have “very strong” partner prospects — something that used to excite me (and sometimes still does). But I just had my first kid and have been back at work a few weeks, and I’m just not sure I want to do this anymore. I feel panicked so much of the time – worried I’m not spending enough time with my kid, worried I don’t have what it takes to be a superstar lawyer anymore (if in fact I ever did – bit of imposter syndrome here). I often think about just quitting — taking some time off to have another kid or two and then reassessing when they’re older (this would mean some belt tightening, but we could swing it, financially), but that sets off its own panicked thoughts, wondering what on earth was the point of working so incredibly hard for the last decade (in college, then law school, etc.) if I could have taken it easy and gotten to the same place (staying home). I just feel like I’m constantly worried, instead of enjoying life. I know it’s reasonable to expect a transition period, but how long is too long?
mascot
Before you toss in the towel, can I suggest talking to a therapist or your OB? It wasn’t until 6 months post baby that I realized I might have post-partum depression/anxiety. I was constantly distracted and nervous at work, couldn’t concentrate, not a good spouse, etc. (my relationship with my child was fine interestingly) Once I got some help with it, i began to enjoy practicing law again and my life got more even keeled.
preg 3L
+1. Also, a few weeks back is not much at all. I would suggest seeing someone about your anxiety AND waiting at least the length of your mat leave before throwing in the towel (i.e., if you took 12 weeks off, work 12 weeks and then reassess).
R
I didn’t see this over the weekend, but just in case you’re still reading… I say give it at least three months. I went back to work at 12 weeks and my baby is now almost 7 months. I’ve just in the last few weeks started to feel “back.” I’m not my old self yet, and I probably won’t be.
It’s hard when there’s a small chance that you COULD stay at home, because every bad thing at work is amplified by 1000. “Why am I slaving over this report for the third time? I could be at home rocking my poor teething baby right now.” But in truth, I wouldn’t be a very good stay at home mom, and I love all the experiences my kid gets in daycare. But I refuse to work more than 45 hours a week now, which means my C-level ambitions are likely out of reach. I have to repeat to myself “Different goals does not mean my work is any less meaningful now, or that my education/pace up to this point was a waste.”
Good luck. I’m coming to realize that they feeling you’re describing is a common one among relatively well-off working mothers. (Not rich, but not in danger of defaulting if they opt-out for a few years.)
ExcelNinja
Comments aren’t refreshing for me, so posting to see if it gives it a boot in the butt.
SA
Where can I find denim trousers? You know denim pants that look like dress pants but are denim? I’m in a new business casual environment and others wear them and they look great.
AIMS
Banana Republic has some.
In Rem
I have some from Talbots that I wear all the time.
anon3
So, this is very late in the thread, but I am hoping i can get a quick sanity check on something. by way of background, i am someone who likes to avoid conflict at all costs. Here is the story-a friend of mine has been having an affair with a married man. I know both of them and respect them as people. I do not know the wife at all. I have never met her. I have just found out that she is pregnant. Do i have any obligation (moral, i guess) to tell the wife about the affair? I absolutely do not want to get involved in this at all. In general, past threads have advised staying out altogether, when it comes to something like this, and that would be perfectly ok with me. All of the emotions surrounding this do not belong to me, and I want no part in this. However, there is a small part of me that feels guilt. There were some pregnancy conversations the other day where husbands had disappeared after the baby was born. So I started to wonder if there is a moral obligation to say something. do not know he\r, and I don’ think it is my obligation to share this information with her. I guess I am just hoping that my thoughts, while perhaps motivated selfishly on my part, are still the right way to handle this. Put my head down and let the parties involved work it out. Am I right, or do i have an obligation to do something more?
Anonymous
UGH! My sympathies to you. I went through something similar last year, without the complication of a pregnancy. I think that as a moral/ethical issue, you have no obligation to say anything to the pregnant wife, particularly since you don’t even know her. That obligation belongs to the husband. Period. Hopefully that is enough to help you feel less burdened by this.
That said, I can tell you that having this kind of information can be very burdensome, even if you are not involved. Stay away. In my case, I knew all three parties and we have lots of mutual friends who did not know (and still don’t know) what was going on. Keeping the secret was very, very stressful and made me extremely angry at the cheating parties. Unfortunately, I will never have the same relationship with them that I had before. I wish for you that you can just distance yourself and not allow them to make their problems yours. You’ve done nothing wrong; you have no obligations here.
preg 3L
Posting in hopes that the comments on page 2 will refresh… I saw many more comments yesterday but they’ve disappeared now!
SA
We got invited to a cocktail party next weekend and the evite says something about “dress up…”
We don’t know the hosts very well, DH is a client of the guy and has bought his stuff at the last two companies he’s worked at. They like each other and have hung out a few occasions outside of work.
I met the husband and got along very well with him (mutual love of NPR) but I don’t know what to wear!
I went shopping today for a LBD but everything was so conservative (I’m 5’2 and recently discovered that I’m a size 12). My current LBD is the tiered black one that everyone had a year ago (this but with different details http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1528215/expo-tiered-chiffon-shift-dress.jsp?src=Hy3bqNL2jtQ&siteID=Hy3bqNL2jtQ-HIpqMr8MFFRA.cRsyGfZCw) but I feel like its dated.
Any suggestions? I tried RTR but didn’t find anything. If it’s something I can wear to a Christmas party or two I’m open on budget.
HELP!!!